Counselling Concepts week 5

Core Conditions (part 2) UPR and Congruence

Session Objectives

• Check-in and reflect on the experience• Describe the context of the core conditions • Define u.p.r. and the skills which can communicate it in a

helping relationship (open questions, clarifying, warmth)• Take part in an exercise – when would you find it difficult

to show u.p.r.?• Define “congruence” and the skills which can

communicate it in a helping relationship (admitting to confusion or mistakes, checking understanding, tentative)

• Demonstrate listening skills by taking part in an LSP• Homework: WS: counselling skills (compulsory) and

congruence (optional)

What is UPR?

• UPR is one of the three core conditions identified by Carl Rogers, the founder of the Person-centred Approach in counselling. He suggested that when all three conditions are present, communicated to and received by a client in difficulty or distress, then healing or growth can take place.

What is Unconditional Positive Regard?

Respect Consistency Prizing Affirming Accepting Non-possessive Non-judgemental Valuing

The impact of U.P.R. in counselling

“At first I had a lot of difficulty with the fact that you thought I was okay as a person – that you even seemed to ‘like me’. That was so strange for me that I didn’t believe it at first – nobody had ever liked me – including me! When I realised that you weren’t pretending – that you really did like me – I began to think that I was the one who had been pretending – I must have been pretending to be okay as a person, otherwise you couldn’t possibly like me – so I proceeded to show you me as I saw myself – the lowest of the low. It was only when I found out that even this did not put you off that I realised I could be all of me with you and that wouldn’t be destructive to either of us.” (from Mearns and Thorne, p.74)

Communicating UPR

Communicating UPR• Going to the door to meet the client.• Shaking hands with the client.• Using the client’s first name.• Smiling.• Using a warm tone of voice.• Holding eye contact.• Genuinely laughing as the client recounts a

funny incident.• Agreeing to extend the session where that is

possible and appropriate.

Communicating UPR

• Using words to show warmth.• Showing genuine interest in the client.• Physically moving towards the client.• Touching the client’s arm.• Touching the client’s shoulder.• Holding hands.• Hugging the client. (n.b “touching” clients is not

always appropriate)• Being sensitive to individual and cultural difference

.

What is Congruence?

Genuine Real Authentic Honest Sincere Open Matching

Congruence in Counselling

“It has been found that personal change is facilitated when the psychotherapist is what he is, when in the relationship with his client he is genuine and without front and façade, openly being the feelings and attitudes which are at that moment flowing in him.”

• (Rogers, 1967, p.61)

Congruence and the client

“It blew my mind when she (the counsellor) admitted that she hadn’t really been understanding me – I mean she was serious and apologetic, and yet still solid. If I had been her, that kind of thing would have just destroyed me. That was the moment I realised that it was possible for someone to have imperfections but still be OK.”

Communicating Congruence

• Admitting when you don’t understand something• Asking the client to repeat something which you haven’t

understood.• Asking questions for clarification (is that what you

meant? Have I got that right?) • Responding honestly to a client, if what you are feeling is

likely to be relevant and helpful

Using Basic Listening Skills

• If the listener is experiencing the core conditions, then the following skills tend to come naturally.

• Rapport Building • Verbal Reflecting • Mirroring • Clarifying• Encouraging someone to

continue• Managing silence• Asking open questions

Homework (part 2)

Write about listening skills using the homework sheet provided.

Homework

Part 1• How congruent are you?• Complete the worksheet

provided.

Part 2• Write about listening skills

using the homework sheet provided.

End of session