Coronavirus News… · open and candid conversations with grieving children about death. “For children to cope, ... At some point in their lives, all kids are going to experience

5202020 How to Talk to Children about Death During the COVID-19 Pandemic

httpswwwnewswisecomcoronavirushow-to-talk-to-children-about-death-during-the-covid-19-pandemicarticle_id=730595 15

Coronavirus NewsSource(coronavirus)

MY FAVORITES (ARTICLESREADING-LIST)

How to Talk to Children about Death Duringthe COVID-19 PandemicDavid Schonfeld MD Director of the National Center for School Crisis andBereavement at Childrens Hospital Los Angeles offers advice to parents andcaregivers on how to speak to children about the death of a loved one

28-Apr-2020 900 AM EDT by Childrens Hospital Los Angeles (institutionsnewsroom5642)Contact Patient Services (HttpWwwChlaOrgPatients-And-Families)

1

Newswise mdash As the COVID-19 death toll in the United States climbs dramtically parents andcaregivers need to shy away from their protective instincts and prepare themselves for someopen and candid conversations with grieving children about death ldquoFor children to copeadults need to help them understand that death is permanent and irreversiblerdquo says DavidSchonfeld MD Director of the National Center for School Crisis and Bereavement atChildrenrsquos Hospital Los Angeles ldquoKids need simple and straightforward answers and anopportunity to share their feelingsrdquo

At some point in their lives all kids are going to experience the loss of a grandparent a lovedone a friend or hear about the death of a famous athlete or celebrity in the news medialdquoWhen that happens kids generally want to talk about it they want to engage parents inconversation They want to understand itrdquo Schonfeld says He adds that even very youngchildren can understand death ldquoResearch suggests that most children come to understandthe concepts of death by 5 to 7 years of age children at even younger ages can alsounderstand death especially after experiencing a personal lossrdquo

The pandemic raises its own set unique challenges for parents given that families are self-quarantining subject to safer at home orders and normal routines like school and work havebeen disrupted

ldquoSocial distancing measures including lengthy school closures increases the social isolationof grieving children and makes it difficult to get support for your childrenrdquo says SchonfeldldquoDuring the pandemic families may find it very difficult to meet basic needs such as obtainingfood preparing meals or providing supervision after the death of a parent or other caregiverespecially when the surviving adults are grieving and feeling overwhelmed by the pandemicrdquo

The usual outpouring of assistance support and companionship that would normally beprovided by extended family friends neighbors and members of the school community in theimmediate aftermath of a death may not occur ndash funerals may need to be postponed andfamily and friends unable to visit Schonfeld says

Critical to the healing process will be helping children understand more about the currentpandemic ldquoAfter the death of someone close children often become more concerned abouttheir health and that of others they care aboutrdquo he says ldquoThe ability to reassure children thatothers close to them are healthy and not at risk of dying becomes challenging even if theinitial death was unrelated to the pandemic or any infectious disease It becomes important tohelp children deal with their fears and concerns about the pandemic in addition to any griefthey may be experiencing after a personal lossrdquo

Schonfeld identifies four important concepts about death that are vital to understand for anychild of any age

1 Death is irreversible

Children need to know that when people die they donrsquot come back to life Itrsquos important tospeak in clear simple terms when explaining that death is permanent

ldquoWe tend to make comments like the person has lsquogone far awayrsquo or is lsquoup on the cloudsrdquowhich suggests the person will returnrdquo says Dr Schonfeld ldquoSo children may wait for theperson to return or resent it when the person doesnrsquot return They need to understand itrsquos

(articlesmedia-article730595)

David Schonfeld MD directs the National Center for School Crisis and Bereavement at Childrens Hospital LosAngeles

MEDIA CONTACT

REGISTER FOR

REPORTER ACCESS TO

CONTACT DETAILS

(USERSREGISTER)

TYPE OF ARTICLE

Feature Expert (ArticlesListCategory=LatestampSearch[Article_type]=220)

SECTION

MEDICINE (ArticlesListCategory=Medicine)

CHANNELS

Childrens Health(ArticlesChannelsChannel=42)

Family And Parenting(ArticlesChannelsChannel=6258)

Psychology And Psychiatry(ArticlesChannelsChannel=6309)

Public Health(ArticlesChannelsChannel=103)

Coronavirus(ArticlesChannelsChannel=6546)

KEYWORDS

Childrens Hospital Los Angeles(SearchAdvancedSearch[Tag]=ChildrensHospital Los Angeles)

CHLA (SearchAdvancedSearch[Tag]=CHLA)

David Schonfeld(SearchAdvancedSearch[Tag]=David Schonfeld)

National Center For SchoolCrisis And Berreavement(SearchAdvancedSearch[Tag]=National CenterFor School Crisis AndBerreavement)

Covid 19 Children(SearchAdvancedSearch[Tag]=Covid 19 Children)

31895ta=ticker) Penn States supercomputer takes on COVID-19 mdash and its aftermath (articlesview731894ta=ticker) umichsph expert offers 5 steps employers employees need to take to reopen businesses coronavirus (articlesview731882ta=ticker) Computer sciCORONAVIRUS NEWS

(CORONAVIRUS)butor)



irreversible so they can begin the mourning processrdquo

Schonfeld says that for very young kids using the phrase ldquoall gonerdquo can help themunderstand that the person will not come back

2 After death all life functions end completely

Make sure children understand that after death all life functions stop working completely thepersonrsquos body is not working any longer and the person doesnrsquot think or feel Otherwisechildren may worry that the person who died is still in pain or sad

Schonfeld suggests explaining to children ldquorsquoWhen a person dies his or her body stopsworking and it doesnrsquot start working again So the person doesnrsquot feel pain is not hungry isnot scaredrsquo You can state it very simplyrdquo

3 Death is inevitable

Children need to understand that all living things eventually die

When talking to children about death Dr Schonfeld says itrsquos tempting for a parent to say ldquoOhIrsquoll never dierdquo or ldquoIrsquoll always be thererdquo but that can lead to confusion for kids ldquoIf kids think thatsome people are immortal it may mean that people who do die were chosen to die perhapsbecause they did something wrongrdquo

Teaching kids that all living creatures die is something that can be broached easily in natureldquoKids see examples [of death] all the time like if you find a dead bird or therersquos a spider thatdiesrdquo says Schonfeld These are opportunities in everyday life to discuss the basic conceptsof death with kids in a way that shows itrsquos a part of the lifecycle and it can be done beforethey experience any personal loss

3 Explain the cause of death

While itrsquos not necessary to share too many details of a personrsquos death providing children withan explanation of how or why a person died will make it less likely for kids to feel scared orguilty

ldquoKids need an understanding of the physical reason why someone diedrdquo says SchonfeldldquoGuilt is also an extremely common reaction to loss Kids may think lsquoI did something wrongand thatrsquos why someone I loved died Then that means I can just never do that again and itshouldnrsquot happen againrsquordquo

Although children may not say they feel guilty Dr Schonfeld advises that itrsquos a good idea toaddress that feeling when talking about death ldquoI always presume the guilt may be there so Ireassure children that there wasnrsquot anything that they should have done or could have donethat would have changed the outcomerdquo

General Tips

Speak clearly and plainly to kids Donrsquot use euphemismsldquoItrsquos important that we use simple terminology and avoid jargonrdquo says SchonfeldldquoThe only reason that some expressions are felt to be comforting is they donrsquotreally address whatrsquos happened But thatrsquos just confusing for kidsrdquoCheck back in with children to see if yoursquove been clear ask the child what he orshe has understood about what yoursquove said

Ask children how they feel

Give them many opportunities to talk about their emotions and different ways to expressthemselves such as through drawing or painting

Allow children to have their feelings ldquoThere is a tendency to try to cheer people up when they are grievingrdquo saysSchonfeld ldquoWhen people witness grief it makes them uncomfortable so theywant the person to stop demonstrating their distress But we canrsquot really help kidscope if we donrsquot give them permission to express those feelingsrdquo

Model ways to cope with griefldquoAllow your child to own their feelings and then share a little bit about yourfeelings and how you have coped with lossrdquo advises Schonfeld ldquoYou can say lsquoIremember hearing about this [death or tragedy] and I felt very [sad] What I didwas I talked to your mom about it and that made me feel betterrsquo

ldquoYoursquore sharing coping strategies like talking to people you care about or remembering apositive memory of the person who diedrdquo says Schonfeld ldquoWe need to demonstrate that wehave the same authentic feelings and show kids some of the strategies we use to cope withthose feelingsrdquo

Understand that every child grieves differentlyYoung children donrsquot sustain intense feelings of grief for long periods so they maycry or yell then go play This is typical for grieving childrenTeenagers may express grief as sadness or anger This is also quite common

Teens still need to be parented

Teens tend to turn to their peers to talk about important topicsmdashbut during challengingtimes like grieving a death teens really do need parent presence and discussion ldquoTheymay be reluctant to talk about it because itrsquos uncomfortable or they may not want toburden their parents by upsetting them and raising the topicrdquo says Schonfeld ldquoBut theystill need an explanation of what happened and supportrdquo

Schonfeld also advises parents not to forget that teenagers are still children althoughthey are more mature and responsible than younger kids adolescents should not be theprimary support system for grieving parents ldquoAdults need to look for outside support forthemselvesrdquo says Dr Schonfeld

Grief changes over time

ldquoWhen someone dies you lose that person and that is the primary loss But you alsolose everything the person could have done or might have done for you in the futurethose are all the secondary lossesrdquo says Schonfeld ldquoYoung kids who lose someonesignificant donrsquot appreciate the secondary losses right away As they get older kids grow



E

into realizing all that they have lost Thatrsquos relevant because it doesnrsquot matter how wellyou explain [a death] to a child at age 5 or 10 there will be more questions when theyare older 15 20 or 25

Additional resources

--The National Center for School Crisis and Bereavement has a COVID-19 PandemicResources webpage (httpswwwschoolcrisiscenterorgresourcescovid-19-pandemic-resources) that includes a 15-minute presentation for parents(httpsvimeocomuser109043156review4027550521e4d641690) on how to talk to andsupport children during a pandemic

--Many childrenrsquos bereavement programs across the country are quickly adapting to thepandemic by providing virtual groups andor individual support Contact the organizations inyour area to see how they can assist Check the National Bereavement Resource GuideState by State Bereavement Listing (httpselunanetworkorgnational-bereavement-resource-guideresources) complied by New York Life and eluna for a list of bereavementorganizations in your state to identify local support for bereaved children and their families

--Reach out to your pediatrician or mental health professionals by email or phone to obtainadditional support Ask your childrenrsquos teacher to connect you with school mental healthprofessionals who can talk with you by phone while schools are closed

--For further information on how to provide support to grieving children during the pandemicvisit the COVID-19 Pandemic Resources webpage(httpswwwschoolcrisiscenterorgresourcescovid-19-pandemic-resources) of the NationalCenter for School Crisis and Bereavement You can also download(httpswwwschoolcrisiscenterorgresourcesloved-one-dies) a free booklet After a LovedOne Dies ndash How children grieve and how parents and other adults can support themdeveloped by the Coalition to Support Grieving Students (httpwwwgrievingstudentsorg)

COMMENTS (homecontacttopic=Article20Commentampsubject=Comment20for20Article2023730595amparticle=730595) | COMMENTING POLICY(eecommentpolicy)

Print Facebook Twitter LinkedIn Email 1More

Filters

All Article Types Channel Topics Keywords Multimedia

Apply Filters Clear Filters Go to Advanced Search (searchadvanced)

Previous

Page

Next Page (

page=2ampsearch[status]=3ampsearch[sort]=date+descampsearch[channel_id]=6546ampcategory=)

Go to page Showing results

1ndash10 of 1863

(coronavirusstatistical-approach-to-covid-19-clinical-trials-aims-to-accelerate-drug-approval-process)

RESEARCH RESULTS MEDICINE (ARTICLESLISTCATEGORY=MEDICINE)

Released 20-May-2020 535 PM EDT

Statistical approach to COVID-19 clinical trials aims to acceleratedrug approval process(coronavirusstatistical-approach-to-covid-19-clinical-trials-aims-to-accelerate-drug-approval-process)MIT Press (institutionsnewsroom21756)

In response to the COVID-19 pandemic researchers from the Massachusetts Institute ofTechnology have published a pair of studies in a COVID-19 special issue of the Harvard DataScience Review freely available via open access describing new methods for acceleratingdrug approvals during pandemics and for providing more accurate measures of theprobabilities of success for clinical trials of vaccines and other anti-infective therapies

COMMENT


This COVID-19 Detector Has Berkeley Lab Roots(coronavirusbay-area-biotech-s-mobile-covid-19-detector-has-berkeley-lab-roots) LawrenceBerkeley National Laboratory (institutionsnewsroom2742)



(coronavirusbay-area-biotech-s-mobile-covid-19-detector has berkeley lab roots)

FEATURE SCIENCE (ARTICLESLISTCATEGORY=SCIENCE)

A technology spun from carbon nanotube sensors discovered 20 years ago by LawrenceBerkeley National Laboratory (Berkeley Lab) scientists could one day help healthcareproviders test patients for COVID-19 the disease caused by the coronavirus SARS-CoV-2

COMMENT

(coronaviruslow-rate-of-covid-19-found-in-women-admitted-for-childbirth-at-cedars-sinai)



Low Rate of COVID-19 Found in Women Admitted for Childbirth atCedars-Sinai(coronaviruslow-rate-of-covid-19-found-in-women-admitted-for-childbirth-at-cedars-sinai) Cedars-Sinai (institutionsnewsroom490)

A study conducted by investigators at Cedars-Sinai suggests that universal testing ofasymptomatic pregnant women in labor may not be necessary at every hospital Theinvestigation was prompted by reports from several large hospitals in New York City thatnearly 14 of asymptomatic women admitted for childbirth had tested positive for COVID-19 during the early weeks of the pandemic The women did not know they were infected

(coronavirusbidmc-developed-vaccines-protect-against-covid-19-in-non-human-primates-study-finds)



BIDMC-developed vaccines protect against COVID-19 in non-human primates study finds(coronavirusbidmc-developed-vaccines-protect-against-covid-19-in-non-human-primates-study-finds) Beth Israel Deaconess Medical Center (institutionsnewsroom673)

Dan Barouch MD PhD (Center for Virology and Vaccine Research BIDMC) and colleaguesreported today in Science two studies of laboratory monkeys that suggest antibodiesproduced during recovery from COVID-19 provide immunity from the virus whethertriggered by infection or vaccine

COMMENT

(coronavirus5-million-grant-from-oprah-winfrey-accelerates-rush-and-city-s-covid-19-prevention-ff h id )

ANNOUNCEMENT MEDICINE (ARTICLESLISTCATEGORY=MEDICINE)


$5 Million Grant from Oprah Winfrey Accelerates Rush and CityrsquosCOVID-19 Prevention Efforts on West South Sides(coronavirus5-million-grant-from-oprah-winfrey-accelerates-rush-and-city-s-covid-19-prevention-efforts-on-west-south-sides) Rush University Medical Center(institutionsnewsroom2670)

Oprah Winfrey Charitable Foundation has donated $5M to accelerate Rush and West SideUnited-led efforts to help West Side neighborhoods prevent and battle COVID-19

COMMENT

(coronavirussurviving-the-coronavirus-while-black-pandemic-s-heavy-toll-on-african-american-mental-health)

EXPERT PITCH MEDICINE (ARTICLESLISTCATEGORY=MEDICINE)


Surviving the coronavirus while black Pandemics heavy toll onAfrican American mental health(coronavirussurviving-the-coronavirus-while-black-pandemic-s-heavy-toll-on-african-american-mental-health) University of Michigan (institutionsnewsroom130)

ANN ARBORmdashBlack communities in the United States have been disproportionately affectedby the number of coronavirus cases and deaths At the same time white nationalist activitieshave increased in the last monthsRiana Elyse AndersonRiana Anderson assistant professor atthe University of Michiganrsquos School of Public Health discusses how these trends are affectingthe mental health of African Americans

COMMENT

(coronaviruscovid-19-tests-compared)



COVID-19 tests compared(coronaviruscovid-19-tests-compared) Cold Spring Harbor Laboratory(institutionsnewsroom2875)

In an important comprehensive and timely review an expert team from the University ofCalifornia Berkeley details the methodologies used in nucleic acid-based tests for detectingthe presence of SARS-CoV-2 the virus that causes COVID-19

COMMENT

(coronavirusinnovative-approaches-to-cost-effectiveness-analysis-in-healthcare)

FEATURE MEDICINE (ARTICLESLISTCATEGORY=MEDICINE)


Innovative Approaches to Cost-Effectiveness Analysis in Healthcare(coronavirusinnovative-approaches-to-cost-effectiveness-analysis-in-healthcare) ISPORmdashTheProfessional Society for Health Economics and Outcomes Research(institutionsnewsroom21111)

ISPORmdashThe Professional Society for Health Economics and Outcomes Research held its thirdand final Virtual ISPOR 2020 plenary session this afternoon ldquoOn the Road to Enhanced Cost-Effectiveness AnalysismdashNew Directions New Milestonesrdquo

COMMENT


Tip of the Iceberg Existing Racial Inequalities in Death fromCOVID-19 Will Soar



167064

(coronavirustip-of-the-iceberg-existing-racial-i li i i d h f id 19 ill )


(coronavirustip-of-the-iceberg-existing-racial-inequalities-in-death-from-covid-19-will-soar) FloridaAtlantic University (institutionsnewsroom1234)

Lifesaving innovations for COVID-19 will only markedly increase the already existing racialinequalities if public health initiatives for equitable dissemination throughout allcommunities are not immediately developed The introduction of drugs for HIV respiratorydistress syndrome and hepatitis C resulted in racial inequalities Moreover before theintroduction of the Salk polio vaccine in 1952 initially black Americans experiencedsignificantly lower rates of paralytic polio than white Americans By 1959 after thewidespread distribution of the vaccine the reverse was true

COMMENT

(coronaviruscenter-offers-covid-19-training-and-resources-for-individuals-with-autism-spectrum-disorder2)

FEATURE LIFE (ARTICLESLISTCATEGORY=LIFE)


Center offers COVID-19 training and resources for individuals withautism spectrum disorder(coronaviruscenter-offers-covid-19-training-and-resources-for-individuals-with-autism-spectrum-disorder2) Indiana University (institutionsnewsroom2491)

The HANDS in Autismreg Interdisciplinary Training amp Resource Center at IUPUI launched aCoronavirus Hub for educators families and medical professionals to assist them in helpingindividuals with autism spectrum disorder cope during the pandemic

COMMENT

Previous

Page

Next Page (



1ndash10 of 1863

JoinNewswise

Newswise gives journalists access to the latest news and provides a platform for universities institutionsand journalists to spread breaking news to their audience

Subscribe to Newswise (usersregister) For Journalists (journalists)

Receive a Demo (httpsmemberservicesnewswisecomrequest-a-demo-campaign)

434-296-9417 (tel+1434-296-9417)265 Turkey Sag Trail Suite 102 110 Palmyra VA 22963

copy2020 Newswise Inc

Privacy Notice (privacy)Terms of Service (terms-of-service)Contact Us (homecontact)



irreversible so they can begin the mourning processrdquo

Schonfeld says that for very young kids using the phrase ldquoall gonerdquo can help themunderstand that the person will not come back

2 After death all life functions end completely

Make sure children understand that after death all life functions stop working completely thepersonrsquos body is not working any longer and the person doesnrsquot think or feel Otherwisechildren may worry that the person who died is still in pain or sad

Schonfeld suggests explaining to children ldquorsquoWhen a person dies his or her body stopsworking and it doesnrsquot start working again So the person doesnrsquot feel pain is not hungry isnot scaredrsquo You can state it very simplyrdquo

3 Death is inevitable

Children need to understand that all living things eventually die

When talking to children about death Dr Schonfeld says itrsquos tempting for a parent to say ldquoOhIrsquoll never dierdquo or ldquoIrsquoll always be thererdquo but that can lead to confusion for kids ldquoIf kids think thatsome people are immortal it may mean that people who do die were chosen to die perhapsbecause they did something wrongrdquo

Teaching kids that all living creatures die is something that can be broached easily in natureldquoKids see examples [of death] all the time like if you find a dead bird or therersquos a spider thatdiesrdquo says Schonfeld These are opportunities in everyday life to discuss the basic conceptsof death with kids in a way that shows itrsquos a part of the lifecycle and it can be done beforethey experience any personal loss

3 Explain the cause of death

While itrsquos not necessary to share too many details of a personrsquos death providing children withan explanation of how or why a person died will make it less likely for kids to feel scared orguilty

ldquoKids need an understanding of the physical reason why someone diedrdquo says SchonfeldldquoGuilt is also an extremely common reaction to loss Kids may think lsquoI did something wrongand thatrsquos why someone I loved died Then that means I can just never do that again and itshouldnrsquot happen againrsquordquo

Although children may not say they feel guilty Dr Schonfeld advises that itrsquos a good idea toaddress that feeling when talking about death ldquoI always presume the guilt may be there so Ireassure children that there wasnrsquot anything that they should have done or could have donethat would have changed the outcomerdquo

General Tips

Speak clearly and plainly to kids Donrsquot use euphemismsldquoItrsquos important that we use simple terminology and avoid jargonrdquo says SchonfeldldquoThe only reason that some expressions are felt to be comforting is they donrsquotreally address whatrsquos happened But thatrsquos just confusing for kidsrdquoCheck back in with children to see if yoursquove been clear ask the child what he orshe has understood about what yoursquove said

Ask children how they feel

Give them many opportunities to talk about their emotions and different ways to expressthemselves such as through drawing or painting

Allow children to have their feelings ldquoThere is a tendency to try to cheer people up when they are grievingrdquo saysSchonfeld ldquoWhen people witness grief it makes them uncomfortable so theywant the person to stop demonstrating their distress But we canrsquot really help kidscope if we donrsquot give them permission to express those feelingsrdquo

Model ways to cope with griefldquoAllow your child to own their feelings and then share a little bit about yourfeelings and how you have coped with lossrdquo advises Schonfeld ldquoYou can say lsquoIremember hearing about this [death or tragedy] and I felt very [sad] What I didwas I talked to your mom about it and that made me feel betterrsquo

ldquoYoursquore sharing coping strategies like talking to people you care about or remembering apositive memory of the person who diedrdquo says Schonfeld ldquoWe need to demonstrate that wehave the same authentic feelings and show kids some of the strategies we use to cope withthose feelingsrdquo

Understand that every child grieves differentlyYoung children donrsquot sustain intense feelings of grief for long periods so they maycry or yell then go play This is typical for grieving childrenTeenagers may express grief as sadness or anger This is also quite common

Teens still need to be parented

Teens tend to turn to their peers to talk about important topicsmdashbut during challengingtimes like grieving a death teens really do need parent presence and discussion ldquoTheymay be reluctant to talk about it because itrsquos uncomfortable or they may not want toburden their parents by upsetting them and raising the topicrdquo says Schonfeld ldquoBut theystill need an explanation of what happened and supportrdquo

Schonfeld also advises parents not to forget that teenagers are still children althoughthey are more mature and responsible than younger kids adolescents should not be theprimary support system for grieving parents ldquoAdults need to look for outside support forthemselvesrdquo says Dr Schonfeld

Grief changes over time

ldquoWhen someone dies you lose that person and that is the primary loss But you alsolose everything the person could have done or might have done for you in the futurethose are all the secondary lossesrdquo says Schonfeld ldquoYoung kids who lose someonesignificant donrsquot appreciate the secondary losses right away As they get older kids grow



E









Filters



Previous

Page

Next Page (



1ndash10 of 1863






COMMENT








COMMENT











COMMENT






COMMENT






COMMENT






COMMENT






COMMENT





167064





COMMENT






COMMENT

Previous

Page

Next Page (



1ndash10 of 1863

JoinNewswise









E









Filters



Previous

Page

Next Page (



1ndash10 of 1863






COMMENT








COMMENT











COMMENT






COMMENT






COMMENT






COMMENT






COMMENT





167064





COMMENT






COMMENT

Previous

Page

Next Page (



1ndash10 of 1863

JoinNewswise












COMMENT











COMMENT






COMMENT






COMMENT






COMMENT






COMMENT





167064





COMMENT






COMMENT

Previous

Page

Next Page (



1ndash10 of 1863

JoinNewswise









167064





COMMENT






COMMENT

Previous

Page

Next Page (



1ndash10 of 1863

JoinNewswise







Documents

Coronavirus News… · open and candid conversations with grieving children about death. “For children to cope, ... At some point in their lives, all kids are going to experience