Copyright 2007 Washington OSPI All rights reserved. On Elaboration Mini-lessons to improve student writing

Copyright 2007 Washington OSPI All rights reserved.

On ElaborationMini-lessons to improve

student writing


On Elaboration… ANECDOTES -- An anecdote is a

short narrative inserted into an essay that develops an idea or argument.

I remember the time when I had to carry my . . .

Once when I was in 2nd grade, the kids would always. . .


Develop your point with an anecdote.

It’s important to keep your eye on the target. At my game last Saturday, I could see just how important it is to keep your eye on the target. I grabbed my bat and walked up to the plate. All eyes were on me. My palms were sweaty. As the ball came my way, I knew I was going to get a hit.


On Elaboration…

EXAMPLES -- provide more specific information about an idea.

The Titanic was the most luxurious ship. For example, each cabin had electric heaters and pink curtains.

The Titanic carried people from all walks of life. For instance, millionaires like John Jacob Astor bought tickets to travel on this great vessel.


Develop your point with an example.

No bird can match the hummingbird in flight. Their long strong wings move so fast, they can hardly be seen. They can fly backwards or upside down without missing a beat. These little rockets are known to catch insects in the air while they are flying. Their wings beat more than sixty times per second. They make a humming sound. That’s how they got their name.


On Elaboration…

DEFINITIONS -- are restatements of an unfamiliar word or phrase…

Giraffe’s have very long tongues. Their tongues are prehensile. That means that the tongue is able to grab and hold onto objects.


Develop your point with a definition.

People flock to the Imagination Zone. The Imagination Zone is a wacky place where kids can make their own weird creations. They can build their own inventions using computerized bricks. When I went to the Imagination Zone, I built a LEGO robot with movable arms and legs.


On Elaboration…

STATISTICS and FACTS -- are the numbers (data) and information that help support your idea or argument.

The hummingbird can fly up to 50 miles per hour.

The Titanic sank beneath the water on the clear, cold night of April 14, 1912. At least 1,523 of its roughly 2,228 passengers and crew were dead or dying.


Develop your point with facts and statistics.

In 1999, the third LEGOLAND Park in the world opened in southern California. Thirty million bricks have been used to make the more than 1,000 LEGO models that appear in the park. It takes real talent and skill to be a professional LEGO model maker.


On Elaboration…

QUOTATIONS -- are words someone says that can help support your idea or argument.

“Spaying or neutering dogs and

cats is the single best gift a pet owner can

give.”

Dr. Stein, the veterinarian from the animal shelter, agreed when she said,


Develop your point with quotations.

The Titanic second-class rooms were just as good as first-class on other ships. Most second-class passengers were professionals. Their rooms were simple but attractive. Survivor Ruth Becker, 12-year-old second class passenger, said, “Everything was new. New! Our cabin was just like a big hotel room. The dining room was beautiful-the linens, all the bright polished silver you can imagine.”


On Elaboration….

DESCRIPTIONS --are ways to create vivid images for the reader.

One of the most popular attractions at LEGOLAND is the driving school. Children can get behind the wheel of theirvery own car and show off their skills negotiating majorintersections, traffic lights, and of course, avoiding other cars!It’s red light, green light as nearly half a million children are introduced to road safety every year.


Develop your point with description.

The U.S. Olympic team got a badly needed boost from a scrawny 19-year-old. Shaun White, the flying red tomato, slid down the icy half-pipe in the final as if his feet were wheels, then zoomed up the pipe’s opposite side and hurled himself toward the sun, pausing mid-flight.


LAYERING vs. LISTING

Core Belief 1: Teachers Should Scaffold Lessons That Help Young Writers

May seem counterintuitive, since independence is the goal. But…

Emulating others is a necessary developmental step

Like teaching a student to play basketball-shoot, pass, dribble, defend, rebound, defend and move their feet

Core Beliefs About the Teaching of Writing

Core Belief 2: There Is No Such Thing As A Five Paragraph Essay

Structure evident Student owns the writing and is invested in the

focus of the paper


Core Beliefs About the Teaching of Writing Beginning

The Beginning of your essay which can be more than one paragraph should do the following:

Entice/Hook the readerIntroduce the main focus of your essay

Middle

The middle of your essay, which usually requires several paragraphs should do the following:

Logically organize your main points, arguments. relevant evidence and counterthinking

End

The end of your essay, which can be more than one paragraph should do the following:

End with a “hooking” strategyLeave your reader with a memorable thought, question, statistic, anecdote or quotation

Core Belief 3: Students Need More Time to Write, and they Need More Time to Be Coached How to Write.

Gladwell 10,000 hours of practice-the making of an expert All superb performances had practiced intensively, had

studied with devoted teachers, and had been supported enthusiastically by their families through their developing years.


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Copyright 2007 Washington OSPI All rights reserved. On Elaboration Mini-lessons to improve student writing