WritingElaboration Strategies

Elaboration Definition

• Elaboration means. . . – Tell the reader more

• By adding sentences with more explanation using a variety of specific strategies, e.g., anecdotes, examples, definitions, descriptions, details, dialogue, quotations, statistics and facts, and specific details

• By adding explanation within sentences, e.g.,

appositives, phrases, and clauses

EXAMPLES - provide more specific information about something. This sounds like. . .

The cats were all acting like they were crazy. For example, one jumped at me with all …

We had a barrage of different weather last week: hail, rain, snow, and sunshine.

My brothers always seem to pick on me. For instance, they may hide my soccer shoes, not answer the phone.

EXAMPLES - your turn

• We have many choices of food in the canteen.

• The students were off task.

• My parents always do nice things.

Dialogue- using the actual conversations that people had in your writing.

Non-example: They argued about who would get the front seat.

“I get front seat!” yelled Marcos as he ran towards the car.“That’s not fair,” whined Jamie. “Mom, tell him it’s my turn. He got to ride in front on the way here. I get it on the way home!”“Marcos, what is the rule?” mom asked.“I know, but she’s dumb and little. She needs to be faster if she wants to get the front seat.” Marcos argued.“That’s enough, Marcos. You were little once too. Move to the back and let Jamie have the front seat.” Mom ordered.

Your turn: Write a dialogue between two or more people. Here are some scenarios:

• A conversation at your dinner table

• A couple of friends playing at recess

• A teacher disciplining a student

• Two brothers (or sisters) who share a bedroom

Anecdote: An anecdote is a small piece of a story inserted into an essay that helps make the point. This sounds like. . .

Once when I was in kindergarten, the kids would

always. . .

Hey, I remember the time when I had to carry my . . .

Not elaborated: You should try your hardest and never give up.

Elaborated with an anecdote: You should try your hardest and never give up. One time

when I was playing football our team was losing and starting to get discouraged. Firat, our captain called a time out. “Okay team, we can do this,” he said. “Let’s change our attitudes and think about winning and play our best. Come on, let’s do it,” he encouraged us. That day, we did not give up.

Try elaborating one of the following topics by adding an anecdote. You can make it up!

• Making fun of people is wrong. You should never make fun of someone.

• Getting to class on time is important.

• You should always follow directions.

• It is important to return library books on time.

DESCRIPTION - a way to create vivid images for the reader.

The sound of my phone cut through the silent class and I anxiously dug into my book bag to grab it before Ms. Sikes, the English teacher, noticed. Pawing through Chapstick and lipstick, gum wrappers and rubber hair wraps, my hand darted around the deep pockets of my book bag. “Must shut off ringer,” I thought.

Description your turn—(remember use sights, sounds, smells, tastes, textures, and feelings)

• Describe the bathroom at your school.

• Describe the bus ride home from school.

• Describe your favorite school lunch.

• Describe your bedroom.

QUOTATION - Using the words someone says can help support your topic

sentences.

The veterinarian from the animal shelter, Dr. Stein, agreed when she said,

“Spaying and neutering dogs and cats is the single best gift a pet owner can give.”

Quotations—your turn

• Topic: Being bored at school•  • Topic: Learning English•  • Topic: The Game of Soccor•  • Topic: Learning to write•  • Topic: Learning to read

Make up an expert for one of the topics above and create two quotes that expert might make about the topic.

Facts and Statistics: Using facts and statistics to elaborate means including facts or numbers to support your statements.

Examples:

Not elaborated: Kids love “Sponge Bob Square Pants”. 

Elaborated with Facts and Statistics:

Kids love “Sponge Bob Square Pants”. According to TV Guide magazine, 90% of kids age 6-10 watch “Sponge Bob Square Pants” at least twice a week. “Sponge Bob Square Pants” is the number one show for kids in this age group. It is a very appealing program for young people.

Try elaborating one of the following topics by adding facts and statistics. You can make them up!

• Kids need more time to eat lunch at school.•  • Kids need more time to visit with friends at school.•  • Kids love pizza.•  • Students should not have to wear uniforms.

DEFINITION - a way to restate an unfamiliar word or tell what it means.

Your Turn:

First let’s brainstorm some terms that you might need to define:

Eagle of the Month

The best part of our hot lunch program is the Ala Carte. What I mean by Ala Carte is the little deli line past the lunch line where you can buy cookies, slushies, and candy bars.

Write a sentence using one of the above words. Then, elaborate by defining the word for your reader.

Specific Details

• CONCRETE details are the specific, exact names of things.

• Using CONCRETE details will make your paper stronger, just like CONCRETE makes a building stronger. Concrete details are SPECIFIC.

General: The boy disrupted the class.

Specific: Shortly after the class started, Miguel started talking and laughing with Humberto in the back of the class. The teacher’s face turned red and angry. She shouted, “That’s it, Miguel. Go see Mr. Lalonde.” Miguel kicked a desk and slammed the classroom door as he left the room. We all looked down at our books and listened to the teacher.

Your TurnGENERAL VS. SPECIFIC

School lunches are (good) (bad).

Rewrite the sentence on the left. Use specific and interesting language.

LITERARY and HISTORICAL Examples

• - Use examples from literature or history to support your claims and ideas.

• It looks like this...• • One example that proves that changes do make

our life easier and also better is the invention of the microwave. In the past most people had to spend countless hours cooking their food first over open fires, then on stoves and in ovens all of which took a lot of time. Nowadays, one can simply pop the food into the microwave and have a hot meal in a matter of minutes.

This gives people more time to do the other things in life making it better.

Try it…

• Use what you know from history to elaborate the statement, “Life was hard in the middle ages.”