Conversation Dynamics

8/8/2019 Conversation Dynamics

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In regards to conversation with women, we use a poker-face to cloak

may be feeling - not with a blank face, but with an entirely different

you feel shy? Focus on your eyes and cloak it with confidence. Are you

another emotion easily cloaked with an appearance of confidence. In t

nervousness, confidence is your poker-face.

And it's all in the eyes.

But simply appearing confident with your eyes isn't enough to create

eyes you want to tantalize, tease, be playful, flirt, entice, charm. Now

the mirror and think along these lines. It's probably not going to be e

emotional mind sets that most guys aren't familiar with . Have you kn

great at flirting with women? Think about how their eyes reflected p

This is the effect that you want to capture. All you have to do is prac

eventually come naturally.


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- The Seven Elements of Charisma

When you flirt with women you've just met, not only do you demonstr

playfulness (a very effective combination), but you also give off the im

ACCUSTOMED to flirting with women, which makes you a challenge in

ease around a woman, her imagination tells her that: a) You're at easewhich makes you a product probably in "demand". b) You're able to ta

probably because you're used to being pursued by women. This all add

intriguing person and someone worth getting to know more about.

THE SECRET OF SMALL TALK

Once you've broken the ice with an effective opening, you can pretty

want, as long as you remember some simple guidelines:

1) Listen attentively to what she has to say - not only are you giving h


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Generally when you tell a woman that the two of you have something i

out of ten it has the same effect as a pick up line - she thinks that yo

and it blows up in your face. Don't tell her you have something in comm

acting like you can relate to what she's saying. She'll realize on her o

have something in common and the effect is a hundred times greater.

What are small talk killers? Pay attention - what follows are common

make when having a conversation with a women for the first time:

1) Don't express interest in her sexually (in any way), be it with your

words.

2) Don't give her the third degree: In other words, avoid firing off q

other.


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Keypoints to remember when making an approach/getting to know a w

1. Most women won't speak until spoken to. Make it a goal to get her t

may take a few casual conversations over a period of time, but keep a

2. Most women expect guys to be socially adept, which fuels tip # 1. Wit, don't be afraid to approach her - she doesn't expect anything less

expectation to your advantage.

3. Being assertive (aggressive) in your initial approach/approaches is a

opposite end, so is being overly nice. Your approach needs to fall some

comfortable middle - casual and lighthearted (playful), and ALWAYS aware of these two extremes - aggressive/too nice - and simply avoid

4. Most women, upon realizing that they are attracted to you, play ha

degrees. For the few that play it to a high degree, you are going to ha


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9. Fools rush in, but the pros take it slow. Like a romance novelist, ta

suspense. The rewards will be much greater in the end.

10. Show interest in a woman by asking her light-hearted, yet meanin

listening when she speaks. Then stand back and look for her to show

give you a cue if they are interested. It is a smile in the eye or a sligshe passes you in the hall. She also may toy with her hair when she is

is a nervous reaction that many women have when there is an attract

Insider Forum

There are no 'rules' to conversation with women. There are simply 'p

points as we've outlined them above and you'll eventually go far. As a

book, you're not going to be a star the first time you give a performa

what the performance is about. You how to read the music, how to pla

practice you will have it refined. Many would say, how is this possible

conversation is hard? The fact is, and a point made many times throu


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Never forget that women are attracted to confidence in men. If a wo

you're lacking in self-confidence then she'll lose respect for you. And

respect you, she CAN'T love you. And every time you act like a jealou

of that respect.

Now don't try to tell me that you're the "jealous type" not because obut because you really love and care about her. Or because you can't

buying it... and she won't either.

Jealousy is about YOU and your feelings of insecurity; your lack of co

of inferiority. And it's your problem. It has nothing to do with her. (A

trust her, then why are you wasting your time. Find someone that you

So what do you do if you ARE the jealous type?

Well, since you know that acting in a jealous fashion will push her awa


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What do you talk about? Should you tell her about your childhood, you

for the future, the wart on your big toe? What if you can't think of a

if you say the wrong thing? And, by the way, what would be the "right

have a clue?

Most guys don't. When your average gent converses with a woman, he

flailing blindly at the wind, hoping by chance that something he says w

woman and make her fall for him.

Needless to say, this is not the "Don Juan" way of doing things.

You need to have a plan. You need to know DEFINITELY what works a

to talk about and what not to talk about. You don't want to leave her

to fate. You want to be charming and in control.

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This does take a little effort. It's not very hard to do, but it's not so

"naturally" do. You simply have to concentrate.

Now when listening you want to pay particular attention to any "seeds

she happens to throw your way. Seeds refer to subtle hints that wom

conversational topics that they would like to or be willing to discuss.

An example:

Bob: "You come here often?"

Kim: "Actually this is my first time here. Just moved here from Florid

Bob: "Oh. I come here every week. I love this band. It's pretty crowd

Bob is clueless.

l f h h 'd l k d


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So be sure to listen for the topics she'd like to discuss.

Now in order to converse for maximum attraction,you need to keep t

mind. You need to tell her about yourself. And you need to maintain a

ratio.

You may have heard or read somewhere that people like to talk about

you should spend most of your time listening and asking questions if y

you. This is true... to a certain extent.

People DO like to talk about themselves and they DO like those who l

and seem interested in what they're saying.

But...

If you're goal is to charm this lady, you've got to do more than that.

something about yourself. Specifically, you've got to "tell her" that Y

O h h h d i i 'd h i h h


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On the other hand, imagine you'd spent the entire two hours togethe

listening, and asking her questions. You probably did much better. She

did seem to enjoy the conversation. But still...

After the date she's going to go home and think about the date. And

about you. She's going to think about whether she should spend more

The fact that you haven't said much of anything all evening is going to

BECAUSE SHE HAS NOTHING TO THINK ABOUT.

You haven't told her anything about yourself. She still has no idea if s

interested in you or not. She knows you don't monopolize the converslistener. And she likes that. But that's not enough to spark any kind o

Now imagine you'd spent 60 to 70 percent of the date listening to he

asking questions), and about 30 to 40 percent of the time telling her

S i l I l i


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Special Inclusive:

Rico Suave - Part II

* Making Her Salivate For You

* Your Magic Wand

MAKING HER SALIVATE FOR YOU

Ivan Pavlov was a physiologist who stumbled upon one of the most imp

of psychology.

Pavlov discovered that he could teach dogs to salivate at the sound ofrepeatedly paired the tone with the presentation of food. The dogs le

was a good predictor for food (which they liked and which naturally e

response). Thus, by repeatedly pairing the tone and the food, the dog

the sound of the tone... regardless of whether or not food was presen


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Perhaps she used to love hiking so now you do. Or she was crazy about

several. Or maybe it was a particular movie that the two of you saw to

makes you feel queasy. Or a particular song (your song) that brings ba

memories and intense emotions. Whatever. Your feelings for her were

various other objects, situations, or people as a result of being paired

It's really fascinating to observe this pairing of situations and emotio

attention to the "classical conditioning" happening around you as you g

routine. It occurs ALL THE TIME. And it's really quite interesting.

Now that we grasp the basics of classical conditioning, the question buse classical conditioning to help us in our relationships with women?"

We could probably write an entire book on classical conditioning and h

love lives, our relationships, and our emotions. But I'm just going to p


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By avoiding her when she's feeling bad, you're not pairing yourself w

emotional states... and conditioning yourself to be a "negative emotio

Now if she's in a good or great mood, then you should maximize your

should be obvious. And my guess is that you probably WANT to be arfeeling good anyway. So do it.

And even if you can't spend that much time with her when she's feel

like to at least get her thinking about you. Call her on the phone. Sen

Accidentally bump into her in the break room. Tell her a joke - jokes

mind. Whatever. Use your imagination.

(As far as neutral moods go, you goal is to change those into happy, e

associate yourself with these moods... but that's a subject to be cov

On the other hand if she's been emotionally DEVASTATED that's a


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On the other hand, if she s been emotionally DEVASTATED that s a

Maybe her best friend died. Maybe her new car got totaled. Maybe h

Whatever - it varies from girl to girl. If she's your girlfriend (or sign

going to EXPECT you to be there for her emotionally. She's going to w

draw strength from you. She's going to want to emotionally vent to yothere for her, she's going to "hate" you for it.

However, if she's been devastated and she's NOT your girlfriend (jus

like to be), then it's probably best to stay away until she's feeling be

As mentioned, classical conditioning is happening constantly and I canof the related scenarios, but I'll briefly mention one other instance...

"bad" news.

Yes, delivering bad news does rub off on to the person unfortunate e

f h f l i l di i i Sh ' f li


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Well I'm here to tell you there is such a magic wand. Something that

completely irresistible to any woman you "point it" at. Something guar

with love, romance, and excitement. No, I'm not talking about some k

aphrodisiac. I'm not talking about a pheromone cologne, or some kind

drink.

No, this is much easier and simpler. It doesn't cost you anything and

man can master.

It's known as a SMILE.

Now I'm not talking about just any smile. I'm not talking about that p

yours that makes you look more scary than friendly. But a big, face-c

about-life-and-I-like-you-too kind of grin that will instantly light up a

woman) that you "point it" at.

But that's how most of us guys were raised right? We were taught t


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But that s how most of us guys were raised, right? We were taught t

unemotional. We grew up trying to be cool, trying to be what we thoug

We wanted to be Clint Eastwood or John Wayne. We wanted to be to

the women.

Just doesn't work that way in real life.

Want to see something really enlightening (and sad)? Go out to one of

or nightclubs in your area. Try and peel your eyes off all the beautifu

the guys for a minute. Notice how most of them are trying to attract

tough, hard, unemotional. They think they can attract women by actin

care. Notice all these cool guys leaning against the walls by themselvecool, male buddies).

And they go there to meet women! Ridiculous!

N k l k d h l b h h d d b


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Think about the simple act of snapping your fingers. Can you snap you

can't. The first time you try you'll most likely get a pathetic little "s

About the same. But if you practice some, you'll eventually be able to

shattering "KAA-SSNAPP" that will demand the attention of everyon

good at snapping your fingers that you'll almost hurt yourself doing it

That's what you want your smile to be like. You want your smile to de

everyone around. You want your smile to be POWERFUL.

So how do you practice? Very simple. Just go intoyour bathroom or b

there's a mirror and you can be alone. Look into the mirror and smile.more. Smile until your entire face aches. Smile until every muscle in y

that you can't possibly smile anymore. Then keep smiling.

Yes, you're going to feel stupid, silly, and ridiculous. Great! The sillier

'll f l lik ili A d h f ili i lf ill ll k


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(We're talking about slow relative to a fake smile. We're not talking

you're looking in a mirror, you'll be able to tell when you get it right.)

And the payoff for your practice and "hard work" will be enormous.

Think about top professional models or top professional actors. They

"fake" smiles. Their smiles look real. And they can unleash them anyt

magazine cover, a TV interview, the public, their fans. The world is lit

And when you learn to smile, the world will literally be at your mercy

You've stopped in at a local restaurant to grab something to eat with

An unbelievably cute waitress skips up to take your order. KAA-SNN

smile. Watch her face light up. Watch the special treatment you rece

turn green with envy. (Don't you think you should forward him a copy

A week goes by and you're having friendly conversations on the phone


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A week goes by, and you re having friendly conversations on the phone

being coiled.

You go on your first date and all goes well: More strings have been co

She introduces you to her parents: More strings.

By now you should see the pattern going on - the longer the dating/re

continues, the more strings that are being added to this emerging "ro

to end before they start , which should be shining bright and clear fo

They end before they start because there are no "strings" creating t

element known as "attachement".

What's interesting is that if you keep this on your mind WHENEVER

then make it a point to act and behave in relation, making it a goal to

establishing "strings" with all of them. This comes with it's pros and c

h i h fi d lf ll d i i f i

* Acting upbeat and lighthearted with other people around her (This


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Acting upbeat and lighthearted with other people around her. (This

how to attract a woman without doing or saying anything to her. In fa

is to exert the qualities above with individuals around the woman in y

not paying much attention to the woman. By not paying much attentio

presence for granted, becoming an instant "challenge". And the more

the more powerful is this effect. So, be confident and have fun with woman you're attracted to, at the same time not seeming to pay muc

woman. Be patient, knowing that all the while you're establishing subc

attachement with her... and days, weeks, or even months down the ro

position yourself in a way to start "getting to know" her better, she'

opportunity.)

With the woman in the paragraph above, you've been weaving strings

and right for days, weeks, maybe even months, and this is why she's

out with you. Simply put: She thinks she's in love.

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Conversation Dynamics