Reminding “Seasoned Citizens” to continue to laugh, learn and love their lives…

One Obnoxious Parrot

A young man named John received a parrot as a gift. The parrot had a bad attitude and an even worse vocabulary. Every word out of the bird's mouth was rude, obnoxious and laced with profanity. John tried and tried to change the bird's attitude by consistently saying only polite words, playing soft music and anything else he could think of to "clean up" the bird's vocabulary.

Finally, John was fed up and he yelled at the parrot. The parrot yelled back. John shook the parrot and the parrot got angrier and even ruder. In desperation, John threw up his hands, grabbed the bird and put him in the freezer.

For a few minutes the parrot squawked and kicked and screamed. Then suddenly there was total quiet. Not a peep was heard for over a minute. Fearing that he'd hurt the parrot, John quickly opened the door to the freezer.

The parrot calmly stepped out onto John's outstretched arms and said: "I believe I may have offended you with my rude language and actions. I'm sincerely remorseful for my inappropriate transgressions and I fully intend to do everything I can to correct my rude and unforgivable behavior."

John was stunned at the change in the bird's attitude. As he was about to ask the parrot what had made such a dra-matic change in his behavior, when the bird continued. . . "May I ask what the turkey did?"

HAPPY THANKSGIVING...

Experts say that if you can find YOUR NAME in this puzzle then you’re in the top 8% and one

of the smartest people in the world! Continue through

The Golden Brick Road when you find it… or go to page 4 for the formula on how to find...

A boy watching his father, a pastor, write a sermon asked him," How do you know what to say?" His father said, "God tells me". The boy replied, "Oh, then why do you keep crossing things out?"

********** A little girl became restless as the preacher's sermon dragged on and on. Finally she leaned over to her mother and whis-pered, Mommy, if we give him the money now, will he let us go?"

********** A little boy was attending his first wedding. After the service, his cousin asked him, "How many women can a man marry? Sixteen the boy said. "All you have to do is add it up, like the preacher said: 4 better, 4 worse, 4 richer and 4 poorer!

********** As a secretary in a grade school, I often help the children with mittens, jackets and shoelace tying. My "over-fiftyish" freckled and arthritic hands suddenly became more acceptable to me when, after helping a little girl tie her shoelaces, she said, "My you have nice old-fashioned hands.” ~ Unknown ~ Thanks KH McPherson

One Month Flashback Conversation between two phantom friends:

"Witch way ghost thou?" "My house." "Haunted?" "Of corpse." "Howl you go?" "Broom." "May I ghoul long?" "Yes, Always broom for one more." "What'll I wear?" "Shroud." "Why?" "Behind every shroud is a shiver lining." "Isn't that frightfully expensive?" "Sure, but you gotta take scare of yourself on Halloween." ~ Unknown ~ Thanks Maxine M/CLT

CUSTODY CONFUSION?

A man and his wife were getting a divorce at a local court; but the custody of their children posed a problem. The mother jumped to her feet and protested to the judge that since she had brought the chil-dren into this world, she should retain custody of them.

The man also wanted custody of his children, so the judge asked for his side of the story.

After a long moment of silence, the man rose from his chair and replied: "Your Honor, when I put a coin into a vending machine, and a Coke comes out, does the Coke belong to me or to the machine?"

The judge granted custody to the man. ~ Unknown (… yet smiling with a Coke!) ~ Thanks Joyce S/CT

IF I’M GOING TOO FAST – STOP ME!

I never in a million years thought that there would be such a life-changing message learned around making a purchase. It was a simple thought. I recently was caught speeding and was fined $148. It upset my day. No, it destroyed my week. $148.00. Not too long ago I worked a week for that amount.

My lifestyle has changed. I’m always in a hurry. In fact, just a few months prior to the fine I was pulled over but was given a warning. The only other time I got a ticket was when I was in my early twenties.

What was happening to me? I needed to make changes and fast. There I go again, fast.

I thought about it for days. Why was this happening? What could I do to prevent this? Slow down? Nah. I’ll get a radar detector! Wow! I never had one before. Now I’ll be able to continue this break neck speed (Bad choice of words). They’ll never catch me. But I caught myself. No. My youngest son caught me. “A radar detector? Why did you get that, Dad?”

OK. You explain it to your child. “I got it so I could break the law and go too fast while under pressure and getting nowhere fast, son.”

I stumbled with my words. I’m a professional speaker. I could not rightfully explain why I bought a radar detector. Every rea-son I had was wrong.

I held onto it for about a week. I told my wife about my con-versation with Evan. The next day I returned it. But from stu-pidity comes virtue. I had the greatest lesson to share with my son. I told him just yesterday that I returned it.

“Why?” he asked. “Because of you, Evan. I realized that the only reason I bought one was so that I could break the law. What kind of lesson was I teaching you?”

God, I was proud of myself. As my 83-year-old friend, Violet says, “Hurry slowly. That which grows slowly, endures.”

I grew up that day. But in a hurry. ~ Author Unknown

Whether or not you have maternal children… children mock & mirror adults.

Should they mock & mirror you? Choose your messengers carefully and realize

that you’re carefully being chosen as a messenger. ~ Sporty King

SOME EXTRA GOOD NEWS FOR THANKS!

• Boston is encouraging local kids by giving every public school kindergartner a savings account with $50 to start saving for college. • When the substitute teacher fell and hit her head in class, this 6-year-old hero sprang into action, likely sav-ing her life. • This teen devotes her free time to throwing birthday parties for children in homeless shelters all on her own. She calls her organization "No Birthday Left Behind."

~ Thanks Joyce S/CT

The Dawn Kee Diet

A friend of mine, Dawn, is a nurse and talked to me about the Atkins Diet, Jenny Craig, Weight Watchers, and the latest of course, The South Beach Diet. Since she is a nurse, she has done a lot of study and re-search on dieting. I TRULY think she has found the real answer to weight loss, The Dawn Kee Diet: Keep your ass out of the refrigerator.

LET IT SINK IN - THEN CHOOSE [good for Nov]

John is the kind of guy you love to hate. He is always in a good mood and always has something positive to say. When someone would ask him how he was doing, he would reply, "If I were any better, I would be twins!" He was a natural motivator. If an employee was having a bad day, John was there telling the employee how to look on the positive side of the situation. Seeing this style really made me curious, so one day I went up and asked him, "I don't get it! You can't be a positive person all of the time. How do you do it?" He replied, "Each morning I wake up and say to myself, you have two choices today. You can choose to be in a good mood or ... you can choose to be in a bad mood. I choose to be in a good mood. Each time something bad happens, I can choose to be a victim or I can choose to learn from it. I choose to learn from it. Every time someone comes to me complaining, I can choose to accept their complaining or I can point out the positive side of life. I choose the positive side of life."

"Yeah, right, it's not that easy," I protested.

"Yes, it is," he said. "Life is all about choices. When you cut away all the junk, every situation is a choice. You choose how you react to situations. You choose how people affect your mood. You choose to be in a good mood or bad mood. The bottom line: It's your choice how you live your life."

I reflected on what he said. Soon hereafter, I left the Tower Industry to start my own business. We lost touch, but I of-ten thought about him when I made a choice about life instead of reacting to it.

Several years later, I heard that he was involved in a serious accident, falling some 60 feet from a communications tower. After 18 hours of surgery and weeks of intensive care, he was released from the hospital with rods placed in his back. I saw him about six months after the accident. When I asked him how he was, he replied, "If I were any better, I'd be twins...Wanna see my scars?"

I declined to see his wounds, but I did ask him what had gone through his mind as the accident took place. "The first thing that went through my mind was the well-being of my soon-to-be born daughter," he replied. "Then, as I lay on the ground, I remembered that I had two choices: I could choose to live or I could choose to die. I chose to live."

"Weren't you scared? Did you lose consciousness?" I asked.

He continued, "… the paramedics were great. They kept telling me I was going to be fine. But when they wheeled me into the ER and I saw the expressions on the faces of the doctors and nurses, I got really scared. In their eyes, I read 'he's a dead man'. I knew I needed to take action."

"What did you do?" I asked. "Well, there was a big burly nurse shouting questions at me," said John. "She asked if I was allergic to anything.’ ‘Yes, I replied.’ The doctors and nurses stopped working as they waited for my reply. I took a deep breath and yelled, ‘Gravity!’ Over their laughter, I told them, “I am choosing to live. Operate on me as if I am alive, not dead.”

He lived, thanks to the skill of his doctors, but also because of his amazing attitude... I learned from him that every day we have the choice to live fully. Attitude, after all, is everything. Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomor-row will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own. After all, today is the tomorrow you worried about yesterday. ~ Author Unknown (And that’s a good thing!!!)

PAGE 1 FORMULA Not your ‘actual’ name, but the words

‘YOUR NAME.’ They’re written backwards on the 1st line,

and frontward on the 4th & last lines. And NOW it’s time to take a seat…

Clean yourself up… Enjoy!!! November is 1 of the 12 best months for

loving, living and laughing. Get back in there and enjoy

The Golden Brick Road

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