Confronting An Angry Person

• Anger – a strong passion or emotion of displeasure– Definitive anger: an anger toward any

kind of genuine wrongdoing such as mistreatment, injustice, breaking of law; valid anger

– Distorted anger: An anger toward a perceived wrongdoing occurred; invalid anger; for example – frustrated, disappointed, embarrassed, unrealistic expectation, personal preference• Naaman

– Destructive anger (not constructive)• Exploding anger – verbal as yelling and

physical as pushing, shoving, etc• Imploding anger – internalized anger that is

never expressed– Volcano– Passive-aggressive behavior

– How to confront an angry person• James 1:19 – Wherefore, my beloved

brethren, let every man be swift to hear, slow to speak, slow to wrath:20 – For the wrath of man worketh not the righteousness of God

1) Listen to a person: Hear him out and try to understand the whole story

2) Listen to a person: Ask him to repeat showing you want to understand the story and not condemning his anger

3) Listen: Ask him questions to clarify the story4) Try to understand the plight (situation)5) Express you understanding of his situation;

speak with compassion; affirm the person’s feeling of anger

6) Share any additional information that may bring more understanding on the subject

7) At this time you may help the person realize that you have not wrong him (distorted anger)

8) Confess any wrongdoing and seek to make right

An angry person needs someone who cares enough to listen and understand the pain

Wrong Responses• Trying to cap the anger (imploding anger)

– James 1: 19-20– Ephesians 6:4 – And, ye fathers, provoke not

your children to wrath: but bring them up in the nurture and admonition of the Lord

• Mirroring the behavior (exploding anger)– Proverbs 15:1 – A soft answer turneth away

wrath: but grievous (harsh) words stir up anger