Community Group Manual 5.30.15pacificcrossroads.org/wp-content/uploads/2016/09/... · 2016-10-12 · need, and serving our King with our heart, soul, mind and strength. Changed Lives

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Community Group Leader’s Manual

Version 3.0

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Table of Contents To encounter Christ together, to share our lives with one another, and to sacrificially care for those God has placed in our path.

-Pacific Crossroads Community Group Mission Statement

Part 1: Pacific Crossroads Community

Chapter 1: Orientation to Crossroads (7) Chapter 2: A Biblical Portrait of Community (13) Chapter 3: Community Groups at Pacific Crossroads (17)

Part 2: What Happens in a Community Group

Chapter 4: The Flow of the Meeting (23) Chapter 5: Worship (25)

Chapter 6: Bible Study (29) Chapter 7: Prayer (35) Chapter 8: Mission (41) Chapter 9: Fellowship (45)

Part 3: What a Community Group Leader Looks Like

Chapter 10: Being a Community Group Leader (51) Chapter 11: Community Group Coaches (55) Chapter 12: Understanding the Life Cycle of a CG (57) Chapter 13: Community Structure (61) Chapter 14: Multiplying Groups (63) Chapter 15: Leading a LAUNCH Group (67)

Part 4: Appendices and Policies

Appendix 1: Contact Information (73) Appendix 2: Calendar (75) Appendix 3: Policies (77) Appendix 4: CG Leader Application (79) Appendix 5: Questions to Ask Yourself (81) Appendix 6: Understanding Biblical Change (83) Appendix 7: HFLA Service Rep (89) Appendix 8: Troubleshooting Common Problems (91)

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Part 1

Pacific Crossroads Community

To encounter Christ together, To share our lives with one another, and To sacrificially care for those God has placed in our path.


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Chapter 1 Orientation to Crossroads

The church is not a place where… The church is a people who… A people who have been called out by God, To participate in God’s Mission To redeem, to heal, to restore this world. - Rankin Wilbourne

Our Vision

Lives Transformed, by God’s Power;

Renewing Los Angeles, for Christ. Our Core Values

The Gospel The gospel of God is the good news that the risen Christ has come to inaugurate God’s eternal Kingdom on earth and that God has redeemed for Himself a people to live under His gracious rule and authority. The gospel is not simply a collection of propositional truths to be mastered so we might nurture a private faith, nor is it just a roadmap to personal salvation. It is a declaration about what is and what will be, in light of what God has done, and it concerns every corner of creation. It is cosmic in scope, it is expansive and it animates everything that we do. And so, the gospel of the Lord Christ is the center from which all other core values irrepressibly flow.

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The Kingdom of God The gospel of God is the good news of the Kingdom. By His incarnation, Jesus Christ, the rightful and risen King, inaugurated this Kingdom on earth, albeit in mustard seed form. By His crucifixion, He redeemed for himself a Kingdom people to live under His gracious rule and authority. And by His resurrection, He gave His people new life to be witnesses to that Kingdom, to the ends of the earth, until He shall come again. The power and reality of the Kingdom is decidedly present and at work, although it is not fully realized. Until the Kingdom is finally and fully consummated, we live as bearers of the presence of the Kingdom in Los Angeles, living out Kingdom values and priorities. We do not "build" the Kingdom (for Jesus has done that), we simply declare that it has come with our words and our lives: by obeying and worshipping our King, loving and serving one another, ministering to the poor, upholding social justice, giving freely and generously to those in need, and serving our King with our heart, soul, mind and strength. Changed Lives As expansive as the gospel is in its breadth, so it is in its depth for individuals. There is a greater story, but I am lovingly and personally wrapped up in it. That story begins with our creation in God’s image to live under His gracious rule and authority and to know the soul-satisfying communion with Him for which we were designed. But instead, we rejected Him, aspiring to our own autonomy and self-rule. This mutinous relationship with our Creator is what the Bible calls sin, and for it, we justly deserve His wrath. But God, in His grace, did not leave us alone in our sin. Rather, He took on flesh in the person of Jesus, to live the life that we could not live, and to die the death that we should have died, and so redeemed us to be His own people. By His resurrection, we are given new life to live as children of God, empowered to change by the presence of the indwelling Holy Spirit sanctifies us. Transformed Community The gospel gives birth to a new community that regards neither race, class, success, utility nor appearance. Rather, we are all declared equals at the foot of the cross, all sinners saved by the grace. Because we have been fully known, yet still completely loved and accepted by God, we are also free to be transparent with one another, loving and accepting each other despite our many faults; there is no need to hide, pretend, or prove ourselves. We hope to be a community of indiscriminate love, genuine humility and deep concern for both spiritual and material needs. The gospel also frees us to welcome those who do not share our beliefs. We seek to cultivate a culture of hospitality and respect as we extend the same arms of welcome to others that Jesus extended to us. Renewed City Cities are at once centers of great political, economic, and cultural influence, yet also centers for great injustice, racism, violence and poverty. As the gospel changes lives and transforms communities, it also must renew our city. As the community that bears in its life the presence of the Kingdom, we do not exist for ourselves, as a separatist colony isolated from the potential problems unique to urban centers. Instead, we are called to love, serve and seek the welfare of the city. We hope to promote the peace and prosperity of our city through loving concern, radical generosity, and humble service.

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Redeemed Culture We believe that our culture is also subject to the authority of Christ and that God intends to use our lives and vocations to redeem our culture. There are simply no limits to the implications of Christ having made all things new. We do not distinguish between “secular” and “spiritual” work or calling. All work matters to God and is spiritual. The gospel demands and empowers us to honor Christ by working in our various vocations with distinction and excellence, upholding Kingdom priorities and values. Similarly, we believe in the critical importance of God-honoring families in redeeming a culture that has increasingly marginalized them. Simply put, we desire that every dimension of our culture will not be left untouched and unreached by a witness to the gospel. Prayer The gospel radically changes how we pray. Prayer is not a duty or an abstract discipline; rather, it is intimate communion with our heavenly Father. The gospel leads us to pray with both humility and confidence – humility because we are far more sinful than we ever dared imagine, but confidence because in Jesus Christ, we are far more loved and more deeply accepted than we ever dared hope. And the gospel of prayer is that God our Father is ready to meet us before we’ve closed our eyes or said a word. We yearn for humble, confident, persistent and fervent prayer to define our community, for without it, everything else is a farce. Changed lives, transformed communities, renewed cities and redeemed cultures cannot be realized by our own wisdom, strength, diligence or ingenuity. And in prayer, we confess that we have come to the end of ourselves, and that there is indeed One who is mightier, higher and wiser. To Him along belongs all glory, now and forever. The Four Pillars of Ministry at Crossroads

These core values are expressed purposefully at Pacific Crossroads in four main areas, what we have called the Four Pillars of Ministry. The Four Pillars are Worship, Community, Discipleship and Mission. Our attention to them is born out of the conviction that we must be continually aware and critically self-conscious about how we, as the people of God, engage in the mission of God. Who are we? Why do we exist? What are we called to do? These fundamental questions about our very nature and essential identity are not theoretical ones only, for the lecture hall or the coffee shop; no, they are also preeminently practical ones that must inform all of the ministries and programs we are committed to pursuing. How do we put flesh and bone on our convictions of who we are called to be? So who are we and what are we about? What will we do with our finite supply of time, energy, resources and leaders? The Four Pillars are an attempt to answer these questions.

1. Worship: We are made to worship, more precisely, to worship God, though our instinct for worship is often directed elsewhere. The church is where our worship is reoriented back toward our Creator.

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2. Community: We were made by a God in community, for communion both with Him and with each other.

3. Discipleship: Jesus calls us not only to believe in Him, but to follow Him. The Christian life

is best articulated as being a disciple of Jesus.

4. Mission: Our lives and our church are properly placed in the larger story of God’s Mission to restore all things.

These provide a foundation for every aspect of our ministries at Crossroads. Now as with all metaphors, there is an inherent inadequacy; the structural image of four pillars does not do justice to the reality of our present situation. So in thinking about the Four Pillars, we have to understand that they are: Interrelated, not Isolated Isn’t all of life, all that we do, including mission and discipleship, to have as its banner, “God is worthy?” And isn’t that worship? Isn’t the pursuit of social justice an act of worship? And in thinking about mission and community, aren’t both of those simply things expected of disciples? Yes and yes! These pillars are not isolated or sequestered neatly from one another. Aspects of one may well fit with another. There are significant areas of overlap and interrelationship between the pillars even as they retain a discernible distinctiveness. Dynamic, not Static Just as there is overlap and interrelationship, there is also a certain sense of movement that the metaphor cannot adequately capture. For a moment, imagine yourself as a first-time guest to our community. What we want for you is to move from being a regular attendee of our Sunday worship service (Worship) to becoming a committed member of a community group where you can find a loving fellowship of caring individuals (Community). We then hope that you will seek depth in your relationship with God and with others (Discipleship) and then both discover and employ the ways that you have been uniquely created by God to serve the body, the city and the world (Mission). So there is not simply interrelationship but movement. And everything to which we devote our resources should facilitate and encourage that movement, and that not for movement’s sake, but for the greater purpose of being God’s church for His world, engaged in His mission, all unto His glory. Organic, not Prescribed Although we can speak of a certain movement of our people through a simple process that is easy to explain, remember and teach, we also acknowledge that it is by the Spirit of God alone that lives are changed. We cannot prescribe or dictate growth to spiritual maturity. And despite the image of movement just described, we are not trying to create and implement an assembly line approach to making disciples. The movement is often not linear and may occur in many directions. We must guard against institutionalization and prescription and this vigilance must surface clearly in the manner in which we approach this movement. It must be relational, not programmatic; organic, not prescribed; and pursued by a dependence on the Spirit of God that will be evidenced by prayer.

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In Christ, By Christ, For Christ “In Christ,” Paul writes in Colossians, “all things hold together” (1.17). No other foundation exists than that which has already been laid in Christ. So, as we move ahead as a community with our mission – Changed Lives, Changing Los Angeles – we do so remembering that all we do is finally for Him. Community groups, volunteering, ushering – we are Christ’s ambassadors. But not only for Him, but only by His power. Left to our resources, we will burn out. Our love is so limited, so to endure and persist we must stay rooted in Him “Abide in me and you will bear much fruit” (John 15.5). But not only by Christ, but finally in Christ, “Just as you Father, are in me, and I in you, that they may also be in us.” Why? “So that the world may believe that you have sent me.” It is Christ’s commission to our community but it comes with this promise: “The glory that you have given me I have given to them that they may be one.” And that’s not a metaphor but the reality of which The Four Pillars are just a picture.

We are here to experience Christ Jesus in our midst, ministering to us and through us to one another, so that our community and lives are changed.

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Chapter 2 A Biblical Portrait of Community

Psalm 133 A song of ascents. Of David. 1 How good and pleasant it is when God’s people live together in unity! 2 It is like precious oil poured on the head, running down on the beard, running down on Aaron’s beard, down on the collar of his robe. 3 It is as if the dew of Hermon were falling on Mount Zion. For there the LORD bestows His blessing, even life forevermore. All actual life is encounter. - Martin Buber

One of the most compelling promises of God given in the Bible is: “I will be their God, and they will be my people.” (Leviticus 26:12; Jeremiah 31:33; Ezekiel 37:27; Zechariah 2:11). God promises relationship, a mutual belonging between himself and His people, and that relationship is certain and enduring: “I will be their God and they will be my people.” But that promise contains an often overlooked aspect of our relationship with God: that it happens as a community of believers. God never saves people outside of community; everyone who is God’s is a member of God’s people. What follows is a quick fly-over of the whole story of scripture to see this emphasis on community throughout. God is eternally in community From the first pages of the Bible we see hints that God himself exists eternally in community. “And God said, “Let us make man in our image” (Genesis 1:26). Those hints are expanded and enlarged throughout scripture until it appeared before us: we see Jesus, in whom “the fullness of deity dwells” (Colossians 2). Community is at the very center of God’s revelation to us, the heart of how we are to understand and know Him. God creates us for community The God who exists eternally in loving community created a community in His image. “So God created man in His own image, in the image of God He created him, male and female He created them” (Genesis 1:27). God’s image was always plural. As we read the creation story, God speaks the world into being and sings over it the refrain: “It was good.” And yet in chapter 2, we hear this sharp

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note of dissonance: “And it is not good that the man should be alone” (Genesis 2:18). At the very least this calls us to the covenant of marriage, but as we see throughout the rest of the story, it calls us to much more. God relates with us in community Immediately after the fall we get two stories of God forming relationships with people, connecting with the humanity He created. In the story of Noah, with the rest of humanity lost in their alienation from God, we are told that “Noah found favor in the eyes of the Lord” (Genesis 6). Because of that, God rescues Noah from the impending judgment. Not Noah alone, however, but his entire family as well. And upon their return to solid ground, God reaffirms His relationship with humanity and the world as a whole. The second story, soon after the first, is God’s covenant with Abraham. God promises “I will bless you… I will make you a blessing… in you all the families of the world will be blessed” (Genesis 12:2-3). Again, notice that God makes a commitment, a relationship, (the biblical word for this type of relationship is “covenant”), not with just one person (in this case Abraham), but with a group and for a group. We will see that every time God chooses a person, calls a person, covenants with a person, it is always for the sake of a larger community. God rescues us in community The biblical paradigm for rescue comes from the story of the Exodus. In Exodus 2, the story picks up with God’s people - the children of Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob – in bondage in Egypt. “During those many days the king of Egypt died, and the people of Israel groaned because of their slavery and cried out for help. Their cry for rescue from slavery came up to God. And God heard their groaning, and God remembered His covenant with Abraham, with Isaac, and with Jacob. God saw the people of Israel – and God knew” (Exodus 2:23-25). The following chapters relate how God uses Moses to rescue Israel out of the clutches of slavery. Again we see that God relates with a community. Moses was not rescued on his own, but was God’s instrument of rescue for an entire people. God’s people are important to Him. “You (plural) shall be my treasured possession among all peoples, for all the earth is mine; and you shall be to me a kingdom of priests and a holy nation.” God doesn’t rescue a bunch of individuals with whom He relates to separately; God rescues a people and a community who live with each other and with God. God teaches us in community A cursory study of Jewish literature from the Exodus onward would show that they see God’s Law as one of His greatest gifts to them. It is to our shame that some of our strongest traditions contain a skepticism to the Law. At the very least, whatever else we may think of it, the Law was God’s teaching tool for His people. The people of Israel then, and we today, have forgotten how to be human; how to live as befits a creature crowned with the glory of the image of God. Yet even that instruction happened in community. The original declaration of the Ten Commandments was not Moses reading from the tablets. In Exodus 20 we see that God spoke directly to the people of Israel from Mount Sinai: “You (plural) have seen for yourselves that I have talked to you from heaven” (Exodus 20:22). In Deuteronomy 6, we see the Law was to be passed on by parents to their children. All of the celebrations, all of the sacrifices were done in the presence of community, whether the community as a whole, or a smaller subsection of it. As God shapes His people, as He teaches them, He does it as a community.

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God disciplines us in community From Achan’s story in Joshua 7, to the story of David and Bathsheba, and its drastic effects, through the story of the fall of the kingdoms of Israel and Judah, we see that the sin of people within a community affects the community at large. More than that, God’s discipline of His people’s sin is often community-wide. At first we don’t see this as good news. We often conflate discipline and judgment. But God’s discipline is always restorative. “Come let us return to the Lord; for He has torn us, that He may heal us; He has struck us down, and He will bind us up” (Hosea 6:1).

God comes to us in community John introduces Jesus as the eternal Word, the Word who comes and dwells with us. Us. As in plural. Jesus was continually surrounded by people; more importantly, in His disciples, He formed around himself a new community. These relationships were where He focused His time and energy; when He left, He left behind no text, no testimony except the community He shaped. God redeems us in community In Mark 10:45 Jesus gives a picture of His mission: “The Son of Man came not to be served but to serve, and to give His life as a ransom for many.” Similarly, in celebrating the Passover with His disciples and redefining it, He said, “This is my blood of the covenant, which is poured out for many.” Jesus came, and not only created a community around Him while He was here, but established the beginnings of a people who would be saved by His blood and marked by His name. God has always worked to rescue a people, a community for himself, and as deep as His redemption goes into the life of a single person, at the same time it ties that person with unbreakable bonds to the larger community of redeemed people. God indwells us in community “Do you not know,” Paul writes, “that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit within you, whom you have from God?” (1 Corinthians 6:19) The ‘you’ in this passage, as well as in most of the New Testament, is plural. You all are the temple of the Holy Spirit. In Ephesians Paul expresses it this way: “In Him you also are being built together into a dwelling place for God by the Spirit” (Ephesians 2:22). In the OT the temple was the unique dwelling place of God. Though, as Solomon prayed, “heaven and the highest heaven cannot contain You; how much less this house that I have built!” (1 Kings 8:22), God’s presence was with His people in a special way in the temple. Paul makes the outrageous claim that God’s people now are the unique place of God’s presence on the earth, because the Spirit dwells within us. God grows us in community In Colossians 3, Paul begins to unravel the implications of what God has done for us in Jesus. “You have died, and your life is now hidden with Christ in God” (Colossians 3:3). He follows this with listing what we should put off (immorality, anger, malice, slander) and what we should put on (compassionate hearts, kindness, humility, patience, forgiveness). The fascinating thing is that everything we are called to put on in this passage, what Paul elsewhere calls the ‘fruit of the spirit’ (Galatians 5:22), are things we can only do with other people. To be compassionate, to be patient, to be forgiving requires other people to be the objects of that compassion, patience, and forgiveness. This is reflected in this text as well as throughout the scripture – “bearing with one another,” and “forgiving one another” (Colossians 3:13). Just as shooting free throws by yourself can only get you so

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far as a basketball player, pursuing personal holiness can only get you so far toward Christlikeness. It takes a church to make a Christian. God will live with us forever in community John, in his Revelation, paints us a picture of what we are heading for – where the mission of God is going. He sees a heavenly city descending to the earth, and He hears “a loud voice from the throne saying, ‘Behold, the dwelling place of God is with man. He will dwell with them, and they will be His people, and God himself will be with them as their God. He will wipe away every tear from their eyes, and death shall be no more, neither shall there be mourning, nor crying, nor pain anymore’” (Revelation 21:3-4). We were made to be in community with God and with each other, as we saw in the early chapters of Genesis. What we have seen is that the entire story of scripture, from the fall onward, can be seen as God’s answer to the alienation that happened as a result of Adam’s sin. When our relationship with God was broken, He made a new one. When we ran, He pursued. When we rebelled, He subdued. When we made idols, He broke them. When we broke His law, He kept it. When we earned death, He took it. All for this final vision of reality, when everything is restored, when everything is made perfect, when everything is set right. And this is what it looks like: living together with God. That is where we are going, that is what all the small glimpses we get now are pointing us toward. He will dwell with us, and we will be His people.


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Chapter 3

Community Groups at Pacific Crossroads The more we practice resurrection the less we are on our own or by ourselves, for we find that this resurrection that is so intensely and relationally personal in Father, Son, and Spirit at the same time plunges us into relationships with brothers and sisters we never knew we had: we are in community whether we like it or not. We do not choose to be a part of this community; by virtue of the resurrection of Jesus, this is the company we keep. - Eugene Peterson, Christ Plays in Ten Thousand Places To encounter Christ together, to share our lives with one another, and to sacrificially care for those God has placed in our path.

-Pacific Crossroads Community Group Mission Statement Community at Crossroads

We saw in the last chapter that God’s mission not only creates a rescued and redeemed community, but that community is the setting in which the effects of our rescue are worked out in our everyday lives. This is what it means to be the church – a community of people often with nothing in common except the most important thing: adopted members of God’s family. Being a member of this family, of this community, means that it is not enough to merely come to hear a sermon and sing on Sunday; rather we are called to know each other, and be known by each other. How do we develop this kind of community?

Community is Personal. Living in community means significant face-to-face relationship. We must know each other’s faces, names and lives. We cannot assume that merely by gathering together in large groups that we will be able to embody the gospel. Without a vibrant community we will not be able to proclaim the good news credibly - we will be incapable of being a "city on a hill." Being the people of God means having relationships in which are consciously pursuing Christian community and not settling for casual involvement with one another. Community is Participatory. Each person must see himself or herself as a minister. Many churches expect the pastoral staff to "build up the believers," but the Bible expects believers to "build up one another" (Ephesians 4:12). Paul is clearly talking of churches in which everyone participated. He assumed everyone ministered. Too frequently we approach community groups asking the question, "What am I getting out of this?" But the first question that should be asked is, "What am I giving into this group?" We should be striving to build others up and speak the truth in love. We should be communicating God's love to others and being honest about ourselves. Real relationship is never one-sided.

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Community is Perspiration Community is hard work, especially in our culture which prizes a radical individualism. Simply put: we are not very good at community. But this can be no excuse for avoiding it. After all, it is what we were created for and it is what God expects from us. We will do good to remember that anything worth doing is worth doing poorly. Better sub-par community than no community at all. The more we work at it, the better we will become at it. Community Groups

At Pacific Crossroads, the main way in which we practice community is through our community groups. While some congregations may have small groups, our congregation is small groups. Community groups are basic Christian communities. They are gatherings (ideally) of 6 to 12 people meeting in individual’s homes and apartments throughout the city during the week. In a healthy community group there should be several outcomes. One, people come to know God and to experience His presence. Two, people connect to one another and there is a growing sense of authentic community as people are provided opportunities for intimacy, mutual support and practical love and care. Three, people grow as they learn about their Christian faith, as they pray with and for one another and as they serve our city together. Community groups are led by trained leaders from the congregation who are supported by pastors and staff. Our community groups serve as the nervous system of our church. In them, the gospel is used to motivate people towards a richer relationship with God. In them, the gospel is used as a balm to apply to the wounds we incur in this broken world. In them, the gospel is used to call and motivate people into the service of God's kingdom. In response to God’s grace, people are urged to develop lives of moral beauty, integrity and other-centeredness and to discover and use their gifts to carry out ministry both within the congregation and to the world. The goal of community groups is intimacy with God, with community as a means. It is not community in general that is the goal, but a community gathered around Jesus. Community Group Vision Our vision for community groups is this: “To encounter Christ together, to share our lives with one another, and to sacrificially care for those God has placed in our path.” A healthy community group contains the following five elements:

Worship Prayer Bible study Fellowship Mission

A community group is much more than any one of those five elements. Each element will not necessarily occur every week and it is inevitable that each group will do some elements better than others. But having each element prevents community groups from becoming only social gatherings or bible studies. More on each element can be found in later chapters.

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A Gospel Community

The community which God is forming is forged by the Gospel. “One of the immediate changes that the gospel makes is grammatical: we instead of I; our instead of my; us instead of me.” (Eugene Peterson, Reversed Thunder). This kind of new community is not an “extra” for the Christian; instead it is part of the overall purpose of God’s kingdom. The gospel gives us our distinct identity and values. We are to uniquely embody the story of what God has done in Jesus Christ in our life together. Therefore, by the quality of our life together, the church both proclaims the message of the gospel and is the goal of the gospel. Here are our gospel hopes for our community groups:

1. We are to be a worshipping community. The message of the gospel is that Christ died for us while we were yet sinners (Romans 5:8) - when we were separated from Him and wanted nothing to do with Him. We are not defined by what we did or have done to become God's people, but by what God has done in Christ to make us His. We are therefore, first and foremost, a people who are grateful to God and who stand amazed at the wonders of His love. As a result, we worship God.

2. We are to be an accepting community. The message of the gospel is that we have been

accepted at our worst. We are to extend a similar acceptance to one another without demanding that they change before we offer it to them (Ephesians 2:11-22). We need neither frown upon nor be shocked by other people's sin and weaknesses. We extend grace rather than judgment.

3. We are to be a holy community. Though we are to accept people as they are, we are not to be

content with leaving others where they are. The gospel tells us that we are destined to become like Jesus and that God has already begun the process of changing us from glory unto glory (II Corinthians 3:18). We are to urge one another to throw off what is not in keeping with what God has made us to be and to put on all that is in accordance with the new reality of our status as sons and daughters of God.

4. We are to be truth-telling community. Bonhoeffer writes that "there is no kindness more

cruel than the kindness which consigns another person to their sin." The gospel gives us the motivation to truly care about people. We are to be marked with gentle but honest truth telling which leads others to want to change. We won't be harsh because we know our own weaknesses and flaws (Matthew 7:1-5). But neither will we shrink back out of fear that we will be rejected for we have the only acceptance which ultimately matters (Ephesians 4:15). We can also hear the truth from others. Because we are accepted in Christ, we are free to admit our flaws.

5. We are to be an upbuilding and encouraging community. The work of Christ in the church is

“building up". "In Him the whole building is joined together and rises to become a holy temple in the Lord" (Eph. 2:21). The church grows by joining and uniting human lives filled with the Spirit of God. So, too, tour main work is building up. "Therefore, encourage one another and build each other up" (1 Thess. 5:11). Because of the acceptance which comes to

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us in the gospel, we do not have to resort to tearing others down in order to feel good about ourselves. Petty rivalries and competitiveness vanquish. Confident that we are loved by God, we are free to encourage others and desire the best for them.

6. We are to be a sacrificially generous and giving community. Paul writes, "For you know the

grace of our Lord Jesus Christ, that though He was rich, yet for your sake, He became poor, so that you through His poverty might become rich" (2 Cor. 8:9). We are to follow suit: spending and being spent on behalf of others. The early Christians were known for their radical generosity: "All the believers were together and had everything in common. Selling their possessions and goods, they gave to anyone as he had need" (Acts 2:44, 45). We also ought to be known for being promiscuous with our money and possessions.

7. We are to be a suffering community. Jesus loved us while we were yet enemies. He didn't

retaliate against us. He suffered our slighting of Him and the wrath of God on the cross in order that we might be turned into His friends. We also are to avoid retaliation (Matthew 5:38-48). We are love to the point of suffering; whether that suffering love is directed toward those inside the community or outside the community. We are to offer forgiveness to those who harm or persecute us.


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Part 2

What Happens in a Community Group?

To encounter Christ together, to share our lives with one another, and to sacrificially care for those God has placed in our path.


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Chapter 4 The Flow of the Meeting


—Pacific Crossroads Community Group Mission Statement

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The configuration of Pacific Crossroads’ Community Groups vary somewhat according to the needs and makeup of each individual group. However, they all contain the following elements: Worship Praising God for who He is and what He has done. Bible Study Learning and applying God’s Word to everyday life. Prayer Listening to and sharing intimately with God. Interceding for others and God’s work in the world. Mission Impacting our society and sharing the gospel. Fellowship Building supportive, mutually accountable relationships. While all five of these will not necessarily receive equal emphasis at any particular Community Group meeting, over a series of meetings the balance between these activities should be achieved. Similarly, groups will perform some of these elements better than others. But that does not give a group a license to neglect those elements in which their performance is weak. The following chapters will take an in-depth look at each of the areas listed above, giving the purpose of each aspect, an example of a healthy environment, the challenges of each task, and a set of tools to help the leader succeed. While there is always room for creativity and flexibility in the group meeting, the following schedule may be a helpful guideline in structuring your meeting.

7:00 Guests arrive and partake in drinks, snacks, and conversation 7:15 Worship (singing, Psalm reading, meditation) 7:20 Bible Study 7:50 Sharing (great if this flows from the Bible study) 8:05 Prayer 8:25 Close the meeting

Ideally groups are meeting on regularly scheduled dates; have a consistency in attendance; are following the sermon discussion questions; and are engaged in worship, Bible study, fellowship, prayer and mission. It is very important that the community group leader is intentional in honoring people’s time. The ideal group meeting is 90 minutes and no longer than two hours.

Toolbox It is helpful to maintain a somewhat consistent structure in your meeting, however it is also helpful to break-up the structure on occasion. The following is a list of ideas that may be helpful in adding variety to the meetings.

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• Add an evening of mission to the calendar. (Ex. volunteering at the rescue mission) • Have a dinner party or other strictly fellowship event. • Take an evening to watch a movie and discuss it. • Go to an art exhibit or presentation and discuss it.


Chapter 5 Worship

In worship God gathers His people to himself as the center: The LORD Reigns. Worship is meeting God at the center so that our lives are centered in God and not lived eccentrically. We worship so that we live in response to and from this center, the living God. Failure to worship consigns us to a life of spasms and jerks, at the mercy of every advertisement, every seduction, every siren. Without

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worship we live manipulated and manipulating lives. We move either in frightened panic or deluded lethargy as we are, in turn, alarmed by spectres and soothed by placebos. If there is no center, there is no circumference. People who do not worship are swept into a vast restlessness, epidemic in the world, with no steady direction and no sustaining purpose.

—Eugene Peterson Worship is central to our calling as human beings. We were built to delight in God's beauty and glory and to celebrate His deeds. We are summoned to praise God by focusing on His nature and actions. In worship we "ascribe to Him the worth of which He is worthy." Worship brings joy to God and pleases Him. It also brings health to our souls; substance and weight to our lives. Worship is often neglected in small groups. People maintain that they don't have enough time in their tight group schedules to fit it in. They are concerned that various styles of worship would be incompatible. They are concerned that they will not have the emotional energy that worship requires. They are afraid it will make visitors uncomfortable or embarrassed. Or perhaps they themselves feel embarrassed or overly self-conscious. Others, because they equate worship with singing, avoid it because they can't carry a tune in a bucket. However, none of these are sufficient reasons to overlook worship. In his book Missional Small Groups, M. Scott Boren reminds us that there are no controllable outcomes with worship, just as there are none in how a conversation will go with a friend. Sometimes there is a profound connection, and other times it feels rather monotonous. But worship is about providing an opportunity to connect with the eternal Father, Son, and Spirit, to relate to the God who is radically different than us. In this relationship God is the prime mover, not us; we cannot control the mystery of connecting with Him in worship. Pacific Crossroads is committed to providing opportunities for people to connect with the triune God. This may be completely natural for some and quite awkward for others, but what is most important is providing the opportunity. As you structure the flow of your meetings, you may want to consider where you place the worship element. Worship performs various functions in the life of the group depending on where it is placed in the schedule. You can spread worship throughout your schedule at any given meeting or you can vary the place at which you worship from week to week:

• When placed at the beginning of the group it helps set the tone for the meeting and enables group members to clear their minds of the daily grind and to focus on God, who gives meaning to our daily lives.

• Placed after the Bible study itself, it affords an opportunity to celebrate what God has revealed about himself in the passage at hand and enables us to work those truths into our heads and our hearts so that they have a chance to be expressed in our lives.

• When worship is scheduled after a time of sharing what God is doing in our lives and the things for which we are thankful, we imitate the activity of much of the worship in Scripture where God is praised for His acts on behalf of His people. We remind ourselves that He is an immediate presence in our lives and that He is still at work in our activities and in our world.

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• When worship is placed at the end of the schedule, we are able to celebrate all of things we have learned of God's character and ways throughout the evening. We are given confidence that we can rely on God as we prepare to go in the world to serve Him.

Toolbox The following is a list of tools that will hopefully broaden the possibilities and practices of worship within your community group. Singing While singing is not the only way to worship God, it is an excellent way of doing so. Well known hymns can often be sung a cappella by groups. If you provide sheet music, you will find that many people can often sing harmony. Scripture songs can also be sung. They tend to work best with guitar accompaniment, but can be sung without it. Resources can be found in local Christian bookstores, or better yet, have your members bring their Sunday bulletins to the meeting (this won’t infringe upon copyright laws!). Books Read short excerpts from books which will direct your thoughts to God and give time for the group to respond in worship. J.I. Packer's Knowing God, A.W. Tozer's The Knowledge of the Holy, and J.B. Phillip's Your God is Too Small all provide excellent material for this activity. Written Meditations Group Members might want to share written meditations with the group which can then be responded to by the rest of the group in prayers of worship. Perhaps you can take some time for group members to write down things for which they are thankful or to write letters of gratitude to God. They can then share parts of them with the group or pray them conversationally to God. Silence Give people five or ten minutes of silence in which to worship God. While some people might want instrumental music on in the background when they do this, make sure that it is not inhibiting someone from worshipping. Posture You may find that you want to vary the posture the group uses when you worship. Perhaps you will want to stand, kneel, or lift your hands. While encouraging different forms of worship, do not force people to participate in forms with which they are not comfortable. Psalms Groups which are less inclined toward singing may find that praying through a Psalm works well for them. If you print out the psalm or all have the same translation of the Bible you can read it

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responsively. Another method for using psalms in worship is to have the leader read 4 or 5 verses out loud and then allow a time for the rest of the group to respond vocally or in silent worship to what has been read. Continue to make your way through the psalm in this fashion until you reach the end. One of the reasons this method for worship is helpful is due to the fact that we often feel at a loss for words when seeking to adore God— in this case the psalmist provided them for us.

Example of Worship using the Psalms

CG Leader: This evening we are going to use Psalm 147 as a tool for helping us to worship God. Essentially what I will do is read a section of the psalm. Anyone else can then respond by using a phrase from the section read as a springboard to offer further praise to God, or you may just repeat one or two of the lines verbatim. After a number of people have responded I will read another section of the psalm and we will repeat the process of allowing people to respond with further expressions of worship which flow from the content of the psalm. This particular psalm divides into three sections (1-6, 7-11, 12-20) so we will repeat the process a total of three times.

CG Leader: Lets begin. We’ll start with the first section of Psalm 147, verses 1 through 6. Praise the LORD! For it is good to sing praises to our God; for it is pleasant, and a song of praise is fitting. The LORD builds up Jerusalem; He gathers the outcasts of Israel. He heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds. He determines the number of the stars; He gives to all of them their names. Great is our Lord, and abundant in power; His understanding is beyond measure. The LORD lifts up the humble; He casts the wicked to the ground.

(Leave a time of silence and allow different group members to contribute)

CG Participant #1:Praise the Lord! It is good to sing praises to our God. Lord thank you for the gift of music and the gift of songs that we are able to offer them to you.

CG Participant #2: The Lord builds up Jerusalem; He gathers the outcasts of Israel. Lord you build up your Church. Thank you for building up our church. Thank you for gathering us, the people who were outcasts in your kingdom.

CG Participant #3: Lord, you have made the stars and given them names.

CG Participant #4:The Lord heals the brokenhearted. Lord, thank you for bringing healing to each one of us as we have experienced loss and grief.

CG Participant #5: Great is the Lord, and abundant in power.

(After a few of these types of responses, the leader may then go on and read the next section of the Psalm. It may be helpful to prepare one or two CG participants ahead of time with these types of responses in order to set the tone.)

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Whatever method you use, don't forget that the leader sets the tone for worship. Your genuine worshipful attitude and practices must be contagious.


Chapter 6 Bible Study

A genuinely Christian understanding of the Bible presupposes the God of the Bible, a God who makes Himself known in a wide diversity of ways so that humans may know the purpose for which they were made – to know and love and worship God, and so delight in that relationship that God is glorified while they receive the matchless benefit of becoming all that God wants them to be. Any

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genuine knowledge human beings have of God depends on God’s first disclosing Himself. What must not be overlooked is that this God is a talking God.

— D.A. Carson

Why do we study the Bible? To know God. God continually presents himself as a God who comes down, who seeks us and seeks to communicate with us. The Bible is evidence of that loving, condescending God. It is God’s message to us; his word given to us. But the Bible also teaches us about ourselves: who we are, where we come from, what is wrong with the world, and where everything is going. Eugene Peterson, in the preface to The Message, remarks that the Bible is the one book that when you read it, it actually reads you. The Bible speaks authoritatively about the nature of our world, who we are, and who the active, engaging and rescuing God is. And that authority is not expressed as you would expect. The Bible is not primarily a collection of theological principles, though it has a lot to say about God. It is not a list of rules for experiencing the good life, though it has a lot to say about that as well. The Bible is primarily a story. Yet it is unlike any other story – it is The Story, it is our story. It is meant for us to read not only to learn, but to begin to live into this story. This is a different kind of authority – it is one thing to believe a book says true things; it is something entirely different to believe that a book shapes your life. Knowing God God is knowable. The preposterousness and promise of that claim is the good news of Christianity. God knows us, God loves us, and makes it possible for us to know Him. But what do we learn about Him through the Bible? A snapshot:

• God’s Glory: God is above all things, He created all things, and all things exist for His glory. (Exodus 15:11; Isaiah 6:3; I Peter 1:16)

• God’s Power: The Bible presents God as the one who created the world by speaking, and who holds the world together. He not only orders the world, but is intimately involved in it. (Gen 1-2; Job 38-41).

• God’s Goodness: The God of the Bible is a good God, His purposes are good, and all that He does is good (Psalm 106:1; Psalm 107:1; Psalm 119:68; Romans 8:28; James 1:17).

• God’s Love: God’s love is his directed goodness; God is not merely good for goodness sake, but His goodness invades our world and our lives through His love for us. God is love (1 John 4:8) and He loves us. (Exodus 34:6; Ephesians 2:4).

• God’s Faithfulness: God makes promises to His people, and fulfills them. (Numbers 23:19; Joshua 21:45).

• God’s Rescue: God continually reveals Himself as a God who rescues His people (Exodus 20:1-2; Romans 3:21-26).

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• God’s Restoration: God is working to restore all things, to rid the world of death and evil (Romans 8:18-25; Revelation 21-22).

Knowing Ourselves and One Another

• Our Glory: We were made by God, in His image and likeness, with the purpose of ruling on His behalf in His world. We have incredible faculties, and hold a special place in God’s creation order (Genesis 1-2; Psalm 8)

• Our Purpose: We were made to glorify God and enjoy him forever (Romans 11:36; 1 Corinthians 10:31).

• Our Ruin: Because of our first parents’ rebellion all of humanity, we all suffer the consequences of that Fall (Genesis 3; Romans 5:12-21; Ecclesiastes 7:29).

• Our Need for Rescue: Our situation is so desperate we are unable to rescue ourselves (Ephesians 2:1-3; Romans 3:9-20).

• Our Rescue: Through Jesus, we are rescued (Ephesians 2:4-10; John 3:16) • Our Restoration: We are being re-made in Jesus’ likeness, and one day we will be restored

fully and finally (2 Corinthians 3:18; 1 Corinthians 15). Knowing Our World

• The Goodness of the World: God’s repeated refrain in creation was, “It was good.” (Genesis 1, Psalm 19).

• The Devastation of the World: Because of humanity’s special place in creation, the whole creation was affected by their sin (Genesis 3:17-18; Romans 8:19-22).

• The Restoration of the World: The world will be set right again at the end of all things (Isaiah 65:17-25; Revelation 21-22).

Why do we study the Bible together? We’ve seen why we need to study the Bible, and what we learn from the Bible. But why is it important that we do it together? Why not spend our time together in other activities and study the Bible on our own time? First, God’s people have always read His word in community. The law was originally given to the whole people of Israel at Mount Sinai (Exodus 20). That practice of reading God’s word in community was continued (Deuteronomy 31:9-13; Joshua 8:34-35; 2 Kings 23:1-2; Nehemiah 8:1-8). The New Testament letters were written to be read aloud in the church (Colossians 4:16). Second, in studying the Bible together, we see things that alone we could not see. Reading in community is one of the best ways from slipping into misinterpretations. Third, and most importantly, we are a community of The Book. We come together around God’s Word, to hear from Him, and we are being shaped by this book – not only individually, but as a community. Coming to the Bible, like everything else in the Christian life, is intended to be done as a community.

Toolbox

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Bible Study Approach at Crossroads

God wants us to know Him in community; consequently, the Bible is meant to be read and studied in community. The vast majority of ‘yous’ in the Bible are plural – written to a group of people. So a vital part of what it means to be a CG is to study the Bible. This means that although it might be a good idea once in a while to read a book other than the Bible together as a community group, it is important to spend more time in the Bible itself. As CG Leaders, you will get an email each week which includes the weekly CG study. This study consists of three parts: a sermon summary, a short discussion of a related Bible passage, and study questions. See the following pages for an example. Sermon Summary One of the main ways we help groups connect to the Bible is to use the previous week’s sermon as a way to do so. We like this for several reasons. First, it connects the many groups across the church and fosters unity. Second, it encourages people to engage with the sermon at a deeper level each week. Other people’s insights can deepen our experience of the sermon. Third, it levels the playing field for people at various stages of belief and knowledge of the Bible. While everyone in the group may not know who Abraham was, everyone has access to the sermon. The sermon summary is meant to distill the main points and themes from the sermon – a snapshot to jog your memory and grasp the overall message from Sunday. We encourage you to pass these on to your group via email before you meet. This also helps people who did not hear the sermon. A Related Bible Passage The sermon summary leads into the center of the study, which focuses on a related Bible passage. Why not discuss only the sermon? First, we want members of our groups to learn how to read and study the Bible. Sermons get their authority and meaning from the Bible, not from the preacher. We want our groups to look to the Bible as their source, and to learn how to “feed” themselves from God’s word. Second, looking at a parallel passage each week helps us get a feel for the scope of the whole Bible, and become aware of passages we may have not encountered before. Third, this provides a way for those who may not have heard the sermon to have something in front of them to interact with and be able to participate in the group discussion. Study Questions The third section of the weekly CG study is the study questions. These questions are divided into three parts. First, ‘Getting to Know Each Other’ has questions meant to break the ice and get group members talking. Second, ‘Looking at the Bible’ takes the group into the text for the week, observing and analyzing the passage. Third, ‘Looking at Our Hearts’ takes themes from both the sermon and the text, and gets the group thinking about how to apply the truths of the gospel in their everyday lives. For a picture of what this looks like, see the following pages. Other Tools

• Use one of the studies available on the CG Leader website • Go through a book as a group

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• Go through a book of the Bible


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WeeklyCGStudyQuestionExample

SermonOverview:AreYouWise(James3:13-18)

Aclassicdefinitionofwisdomis‘skillatliving.’TheBible’smostcommonmetaphorforwisdomisapath,ajourney;wisdomisnotinstant,itisaseriesofchoicestostayonthepathorgetbackonthepath.Whileinourculturewemightthinktherearemanypaths,Jamestellsusthattherearejusttwo;twopathsofwisdom.Oneisearthly,earthbound;theotherJamescalls‘fromabove.’ThePathofEarthlyWisdomJamesgivestwotelltalesignsthatweareonthepathofearthlywisdom:bitterenvyandselfishambition.First,envyis“Acertainsorrowthatoneexperiencesbecausesomeoneelseisinpossessionofwhatoneisnot”(Aristotle).Envyrunsoncomparison.Itbecomesmorethanjustsorrowthatyoudonothavesomething,butalsoresentmentthatsomeoneelsedoes.Itstealsawayyourabilitytofindjoyinyourlife,joyinwhatyoudohave.Envyalsorevealswhatmattersthemosttous,wherewefindourdeepestsignificance.IfitisnotinGodandinHisapprovalofyou,thenenvyistheinevitableresult.ButifwedofindoursignificanceinGod,thenwecanbesecondandsatisfied.Thesecondsignofearthlywisdomisselfishambition.Ambitioninitselfisnotbad;itismerelyourgoalsinlifeandtheincentivesinpursuingthem.Weallhaveambition;thequestioniswhetheritisgoodambition.IsitforGod,forHisname,orforourown?Selfishambitionisserious–Jamescallsitdemonic,oropposedtoGod.Whenweliveoutofselfishambition,whenweholditupasideal,wearefalsetothetruth.Wearelivingalie,outoftouchwithreality.Dowereallybelievethat?Ifwedon’tseehowstarklydifferentthesetwopathsare,wewillneverbecomeskillfulinliving.ThePathoftheWisdomFromAboveWhatthenisthelifecharacterizedbythewisdomfromabovelooklike?Jamesgivesapictureinverse17.Thefirstthingtonoticeisthatnowhereinthislististhereamentionofknowledgeorintellectualability.Wisdomisseenonlyinrelationship.Jamesisnotagainstknowledge;heisagainstpeopletalkingaboutJesusandnotobeyingHim.Wisdom,thencanbeseenmostclearlyinalifelivedinmeekness,anumbrellatermfromv.14thatsubsumesthecharacteristicsinv.17.Meeknessisself-subduinggentleness;strengthundercontrol.MeeknesswasdespisedinJames’day–thegreatGreekphilosopherEpictetuslistedasfirstofallvicestoavoid.Thisisstilltrueinourday–itwasJesus’calltomeeknessthatoffendedNietzschesomuch.Jesus,theWisdomofGodWhichpathareyouon?Howdowebecomewisepeople?DerekKidner,inhiscommentaryonProverbs,saysthatwhatittakestobecomewiseissimplyadecision:Doyouwantit?James,earlier,toldustoaskGodforwisdom(James1:5).Butitisnotaone-timeask;wisdomisnotinstant,itwilloftenfeelunnatural.Wehavebeenlookingatthecontrastbetweenthetwowisdoms,andwesawthatthewisdomfromaboveseemslikefoolishness,notonlytoNietzsche,buttous.Theeventthatmostdemonstratesthedifferencebetweenthetwowisdomsisthecross.Thewisdomthatisearthboundseesthecrossasawaste,adefeat,asorrowfulendtoalifewelllived.TheearthboundwisdomhadbeenwaitingforJesustotakethecrown,takedistinction,andleadthecrowds.ThewisdomfromabovelooksatthecrossasGod’svictory:thatinanaked,beatenmandyingasacriminalthepowersthatdefineandassaultourhumanityaretakenup,exhausted,anddefeated.WepreachChristcrucified,foolishnesstotheworld,buttothosethatbelieve,ChristthepowerofGodandthewisdomofGod.Threedayslater,Jesuswasraisedfromthedead,provingthatthewisdomfromaboveisnotfalsetothetruth.Thisiswhyweseekwisdomfromabove,becausewearetofollowJesus,whoisourwisdom.

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PassageforDiscussion:Proverbs3:1-8

InJames3:13-18,Jamescontraststwodifferentpathsofwisdom:theearthboundwisdomandthewisdomfromabove.InProverbs3weseeasimilarcontrastofpaths:totrustintheLordandHisguidance,ortoleanonourownunderstanding.SolomonandJamesareactuallysayingthesamething.Totrustinyourownunderstandingimpliesthatyouseethewholesituationrightly;itimpliesthatyouhaveeverythingatyourdisposaltomakethecorrectdecision.YetiftherereallyisaninfiniteGod,whoknowsallthings,doesn’titmakesensethatHewouldseethepicturemuchmoreclearlythanyoudo?AndwhenHiscounselcontradictsyourinclinations,wouldn’titmakesensethathisunderstandingismuchdeeperthanyours?FollowingGod’spath,thewisdomfromabove,isnotsomuchaleapofblindfaithasitisanacknowledgementofthelimitationsofyourownknowledge.Morethanthat,thepromiseofSolomonisthattheGodwhogivesuswisdomisthesameGodwhodefineshimselfasaGodof“steadfastloveandfaithfulness”(Proverbs3:3;seealsoExodus34:6;Psalm86:15).IftheGodwhocreatedallthings,whoknowsallthings,wholovesuswithanever-pursuinglove,ifHepromisestoguideus,howfoolisharewetoevenbetemptedtoleanonourownunderstanding?

QuestionsforDiscussion:

GettingtoKnowEachOther:1. Ifyoucouldliveonedayinsomeoneelse’sshoes,whowoulditbe?Why?

LookingattheBible:

2. Howdoyouusuallydefinewisdom?Whodoyouseeasawiseperson?DoesJames’descriptionofawiseperson(James3:17)surpriseyou?

3. ReadProverbs3:1-8.SolomoniswritingtheseearlychaptersofProverbsforhischildren(Proverbs1-9).Howdoesseeingourpassageasafather’swordsforhissonaffecthowwereadit?

4. Solomon,inthispassage,claimsthatGod’sway,God’swisdomleadstosuccessandhealth.Isthattrue,inyourexperience?HowdoweunderstandSolomon’sclaimalongsideofJames’acknowledgementthattheworld’spathtosuccesslooksverydifferent(James3:15)?HowistheBible’sdefinitionofsuccessdifferentthanourculture’sdefinitionofsuccess?

5. ReadExodus34:6;Deuteronomy6:4-6.ThesearetwoofGod’sfoundationalstatementsofHisownidentity.HowdotheseversesfromExodusandDeuteronomyfilloutourunderstandingofProverbs3:3-4?Thenhowdovv.3-4,andnotletting“steadfastloveandfaithfulnessforsakeus”provideafoundationforvv.5-6(“trustingintheLordwithallofourhearts”)?WhyshouldwetrusttheLord?WhyareHiswaystrustworthy?

LookingatOurHearts

6. InProverbs3weseethatthepathofwisdomisonewehavetocultivateinourownlives.WhataresomepracticalwayswecanfollowSolomon’scommandsinvv.3-4?Whatdoesitlooklikeinreallifeto“bindsteadfastloveandfaithfulnessaroundyourneck?”To“writethemonthetabletofyourheart?”Aretherewayswecandothistogetherasacommunitygroup?

7. ThereisadeepironyinthecontrastinProverbs3:5.SolomonistellingustotrustGodratherthanourselves,God’swisdomratherthanourownunderstanding.GivenallweknowaboutGod,andallweknowaboutourselves,whyisstillhardtotrustGodoverourselves?WhatarethemainareasyoufindithardtotrustGod’swisdom?(Parenting?Singleness?Career?)

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Chapter 7 Prayer

Our prayer must not be self-centered. It must arise not only because we feel our own need as a burden we must lay upon God, but also because we are so bound up in love for our fellow men that we feel their need as acutely as our own. To make intercession for men is the most powerful and practical way in which we can express our love for them.

—John Calvin Why Do We Pray?

Throughout the scriptures, God calls His people to pray; when they do – He answers those prayers. Witness the prayers of the early church for the spread of the gospel (Acts 1:13-13, 2:42 and 13:1-3) and the subsequent success of the gospel. One of our desires for our community groups is that they would be places where people pray. Prayer is without question something that we are not only called to do but have the privilege of doing. As Christians we have fellowship with God, which means that we are able to approach Him. He listens to us when we speak to Him. It is important to do this as individuals, but it is equally important to do this as a community. God has called us as a community and so we must approach Him in prayer as a community. There are many different ways that we can pray and many things that we can pray for. Below is a list of tools that will help you in incorporating prayer into your meetings. Challenges of Group Prayer

There should be a progression to prayer as our relationships build and we continue to spend more and more time together. When people first begin meeting, it may be difficult and potentially inappropriate to open up about deep person struggle. So most people find themselves at the beginning of a prayer relationship praying for other people’s health and life concerns. It is not wrong to pray for those things, but at the same time if that is all we are praying about, then we are not experiencing true community. As a leader, it is crucial that you model this kind of transparency at the appropriate times.

Another obstacle to prayer is often the length. There is certainly a time for longer prayers and even for prayer retreats where we spend hours and even days in prayer by ourselves or with others. But we do not need to feel that every prayer must be long. One Puritan wrote that we ought to pray “briefly but often.” Especially when praying in a group larger than 4 or 5, I encourage people to keep their prayers short – a couple of sentences at a time. This allows more people to pray and it also

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allows people to focus better. Actually if people pray shorter prayers in a group the group can “go around the room” more than once so people actually get to pray more! Biblical commendations of short prayers: Ecclesiastes 5:1-2 Guard your steps when you go to the house of God. Go near to listen rather than to offer the sacrifice of fools, who do not know that they do wrong. Do not be quick with your mouth; do not be hasty in your heart to utter anything before God. God is in heaven and you are on earth, so let your words be few. Matthew 6:6-8 But when you pray, go into your room and shut the door and pray to your Father who is in secret. And your Father who sees in secret will reward you. "And when you pray, do not heap up empty phrases as the Gentiles do, for they think that they will be heard for their many words. Do not be like them, for your Father knows what you need before you ask Him.

Toolbox What to pray:

Biblical application As the group is going through sermon discussion questions, you may consider ending the discussion with a time of prayer directly related to the application of that particular study. As we study God’s Word, we should have the expectation that it will challenge us and call us to obedience. By concluding the study with a time of prayer specifically focused on the application, we can encourage one another as well as help to hold each other accountable. (For a specific example of what application focused prayer might look like, see the text box at the conclusion of this chapter.)

Adoration William Temple wrote:

“Worship is the submission of all of our nature to God. It is the quickening of conscience by His holiness; the nourishment of mind with His truth; the purifying of the imagination by His beauty; the opening of the heart to His love; the surrender of will to His purpose – and all of this gathered up in adoration, the most selfless emotion of which our nature is capable and therefore the chief remedy of that self-centeredness which is our original sin and the source of all actual sin.”

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One of the best things you can do for your soul is to spend worshipping God for who He is and what He has done – with as little thought as possible given to your own life and circumstances. Perhaps as a time of worship, perhaps in your prayer time as a group, take time to do nothing but adore God. You can read a biblical story of redemption and spend time praising God for the display of His character in that story. You can produce a list of God’s attributes and spend time adoring God for each attribute (some of God’s attributes are: love, mercy, justice, holiness, eternality, perfection, omnipotence, sovereignty, wisdom, truthfulness, wrath, knowledge, independence, omnipresence, jealousy, goodness, beauty). God’s Kingdom Walter Wink writes:

“Even a small number of people, firmly committed to the new inevitability on which they have fixed their imaginations, can decisively affect the shape the future takes. These shapers of the future are the intercessors, who call out the future, the longed-for new present…History belongs to the intercessors.”

This calls attention the importance of praying for God to extend His kingdom in our midst. Put another way, we pray that God would accomplish His will in our city and world – that His will would be done on earth, as it is in heaven. God loves justice and mercy (cf. Micah 6:8) and wants to see it realized. Thy Kingdom Come is a prayer booklet that Crossroads publishes every year which gives a weekly prayer request for all the areas of the kingdom that Crossroads is involved in. You are strongly encouraged to use this wonderful resource in your community group as a guide in kingdom prayer. Personal Petition Take and pray through prayer requests. This is huge as it allows us to know one another. Also keep up with these prayer requests, ask one another about them, give thanks for answered requests. Emailing lists and Yahoo groups are great ways to do this. Confession Confession has somehow come to be associated with “failure” in the Christian life. Nothing could be further from the truth. Bible-convicted, Holy Spirit induced confession is the very sweetness of the gospel and one of our great privileges. Bonhoeffer refers to confession as “the renewal of the joy of baptism.” To confess is to acknowledge that we are loved in spite of ourselves – radically accepted in Jesus Christ! Why would we want to short circuit or avoid this opportunity? Confession is of course an individual discipline, but it is also a communal discipline (we ought to regularly confess our sins to another person). Bonhoeffer writes: “In confession we break through to the true fellowship.” Some of the deepest times of confession in our lives can come when praying with others. The Holy Spirit can use hearing others confess their sins to convict us of sin that was until then unseen and un-confessed.

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Ways to pray:

Split the group into smaller groups of 3 or 4. The advantage of this method is intimacy and more time to focus on individuals. The disadvantage is the whole group does not hear what is happening in a person’s life. (This prayer section flows directly from the bible study example on wisdom found in Chapter 6.)

CG Leader: Thank you to those who were willing to share about those areas in your life where you find yourself relying on your own wisdom and not upon the wisdom of God. Let’s now break up into groups of 2 or 3 and take some time to pray through these very issues. So take a moment to share anything else that you might feel comfortable sharing in terms of where you are struggling to trust God, and where you see yourself fixed on earthly wisdom marked by bitter envy and selfish ambition. Then pray for one another in your struggles, and pray that the other person would be transformed by God to grow in the wisdom from above.

(now in a group of 2) CG Participant 1: Lately I find myself struggling with bitter envy over my friends who

have recently become married. I feel pressure from my relatives to find a spouse, and I want to live up to that expectation.

CG Participant 2: There are not any struggles that I want to share right now. Please just

pray generally for me, to be trusting in God’s wisdom and avoiding selfish ambition.

CG Participant 1: Great let’s pray together.

Lord, we thank you for your word tonight and for the reassurance that we can trust in you. Lord we confess that often it is such a struggle to do that. So Lord I pray for (participant 2) tonight, and ask that you give him wisdom. Lord, help him and change him, that he would find his identity in you and therefore not desire selfish ambition.

CG Participant 2: God, please bring healing and change as participant has been

struggling with envy in the area of marital relationship. Lord, please help him to see his satisfaction in you and to not look for approval from family members. Please help him in trusting you for all things and to seek the wisdom that is from above. Amen.

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Split the group into gender groups. This creates an opportunity for men and women to go into the necessary areas that might be inappropriate in mixed gender. Take requests and pray as a group. The advantage to this is everyone hears a little bit about what is going on in people’s lives. The disadvantage is that prayer time is lost and people cannot go as deep. Take no requests; just start praying, allowing people to pray their requests. The advantage to this is no time is lost – the group just starts praying! The disadvantage is people might have no idea what the person is praying (or, in an effort to counterbalance this, the person praying describes in detail the circumstances of the request). Pray a written prayer out loud and together (a Psalm or from a church liturgy). The advantage is this is often biblical – we are meant to ‘pray the Bible.’ The disadvantage is that nothing personal is shared. Use Paul’s Prayers as a Model to Pray In Paul’s letters, there are great models of prayer that CGs can use to pray. The CG can utilize Paul’s prayers in two different ways. The first way is by studying Paul’s prayers and praying for the same things he prays for. An example:

See Colossians 1:9 – “And so, from the day we heard, we have not ceased to pray for you, asking that you may be filled with the knowledge of his will in all spiritual wisdom and understanding.” Leader: “Let’s take a couple minutes and pray for the person on your right. Pray that they may be filled with the knowledge of God’s will and for spiritual wisdom and understanding.” The second way to reference Paul’s prayers for your group prayer time is more literal. Go through Paul’s letters and write out each prayer on a 3x5 index card adapting the language from Paul’s prayer for your CG. Each week read one of the prayers just rotating the cards on a weekly basis. For example:

Adapted from Colossians 1:9-12 - Lord, I pray that we would be filled with the knowledge of your will in all spiritual wisdom and understanding, so that we will walk in a manner worthy of you, to please you in all respects, bearing fruit in every good work and increasing in the knowledge of God; strengthened with all power, according to your glorious might, so that we can attain all steadfastness and patience. We thank you for qualifying us to share in your inheritance. Other passages to reference: Philippians 1:3-11, Ephesians 1:15-23, Ephesians 3:14-21

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Pray through the passage you studied. There is much to commend this method though it requires the prayer leader be skilled. Email [email protected] to request a great document by Tim Keller along these lines. Pray responsively through a passage of scripture (i.e. leader/all/leader/all). “Led prayer” This is when the prayer leader names an area of prayer and people (either silently or vocally) pray for a period of time and then the prayer leader moves the group on to the next prayer item. This can be a very effective way for a CG to pray. An example would be: Leader: “For the next 5 minutes let us simply praise God…” People pray for 5 minutes vocally adoring God Leader: “Now let us confess our sins”

People confess their sins Leader: “Now let us pray for our great city…”

People pray for the city Other areas: the church universal; pastors and missionaries; those who are without Christ; our government at various levels; those grieved, trouble and sick – etc.


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Chapter 8 Mission

Fundamentally, our mission (if it is biblically informed and validated) means our committed participation as God’s people, at God’s invitation and command, in God’s own mission within the history of God’s world for the redemption of God’s people...Our mission flows from and participates in the mission of God.

—Christopher Wright

Salvation is God’s determination to rescue His creation; it is His activity in recovering the world. It is personal and impersonal, it deals with souls and cities, it touches sin and sickness...God takes on the entire catastrophe. Therefore, when Jesus, who was “powerful in word and deed” (Luke 24:19) calls us to love our neighbors, such love will necessarily involve both word and deed.

—Eugene Peterson Mission is fundamentally God-centered. Chris Wright, in The Mission of God, writes: “It is not so much the case that God has a mission for His church in the world, as that God has a church for His mission in the world. Mission was not made for the church; the church was made for mission—God’s mission.” We are on God’s mission; our mission is found in His. But what is God’s Mission? The Gospel is the story of mission – of God’s mission to restore all things and to reconcile all things to himself. Paul writes to the Colossians:

[Jesus] is the image of the invisible God, the firstborn of all creation. For by Him all things were created, in heaven and on earth, visible and invisible, whether thrones or dominions or rulers or authorities—all things were created through Him and for Him. And He is before all things, and in Him all things hold together. And He is the head of the body, the church. He is the beginning, the firstborn from the dead, that in everything He might be preeminent. For in Him all the fullness of God was pleased to dwell, and through Him to reconcile to himself all things, whether on earth or in heaven, making peace by the blood of His cross.

Colossians 1:15-20 This is God’s Mission. But where do we find our place? We are part of a much larger story, one that has preceded us and one that will continue after us. It is a story that is bigger than us, and already has a Hero. This is God’s mission, not ours.

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What does that mean for us? It reorients us. If the story we are a part of is a story of God’s great mission, that means that everything we do, everything we are is geared toward mission. Mission is not part of what the people of God do, it is everything we do. Mission is the purpose of the church, it is the reason we exist. Most people either think of mission as evangelism, or as participating in some type of service. Evangelism is important, and service undoubtedly an aspect of mission, but these are not the extent of mission. The fuller, more robust understanding of mission we see in the Bible calls us to realize that it stretches across God’s entire creation and encompasses every area of our lives. Community groups endeavor to reflect every aspect of this Mission. In this effort we encourage one another in our own spheres of mission that God has called us to. Mission requires us to think through how God can use us to reconcile business, medicine, law, education, commerce, and the arts, as He has called us to those vocations. Mission entails healing and transformation in our families and relationships, and bringing peace into our neighborhoods and cities. Mission involves giving the hope of the Gospel to those who do not know the living God - not only in our neighborhoods and city, but around the globe. Community groups will come together in service for our neighborhoods and city, all the while challenging and encouraging each other as we live out our particular missions as individuals. Community groups at Crossroads will also seek out opportunities to impact the world in God’s global mission.

Toolbox Being the Mission

In John 13, after Jesus finishes washing His disciples feet, He commands them to love each other. He concludes, “By this will all people know you are my disciples, if you love one another” (John 13:35). Francis Schaeffer, in The Mark of a Christian, concludes: “Love — and the unity it attests to — is the mark Christ gave Christians to wear before the world. Only with this mark may the world know that Christians are indeed Christians and that Jesus was sent by the Father.” We are to love each other, not only because we are one body, and one family, but because in our loving community we proclaim the gospel itself. Only as we develop a unique quality of life as a community will the gospel message we share seem credible. Only as we provide support for one another will we be sustained over the long haul in our efforts to seek mercy and justice for those who desperately need them. Only as we develop a common life will we be able to discern what kinds of ministry, if any, we should be involved in as a group. What this might look like: • Bring each other meals during difficult times (pregnancy, sickness, loss of loved one, times of

high stress) • Babysit for a couple who can’t afford it • Help clean someone’s house or mow their yard when they are overworked • Contribute financially when someone has needs that they can’t provide • Visit group members in the hospital

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• A group might decide together to participate in an aspect of the broader life of the church: children’s ministry, ushering, welcoming newcomers, etc.

Doing the Mission

Jesus, in His mission, did not content himself with creating a community, or even teaching and preaching. He healed people. He met physical as well as spiritual needs. “The Son of Man came, not to be served, but to serve and to give His life as a ransom for many” (Mark 10:45). And He calls us to emulate Him in this – to be servants of all. One of the many ways we can serve our city is Hope for LA, the mercy and justice ministry of Crossroads. God has called every Christian to care for the poor. Hope for LA exists to give opportunities for people and community groups to actively express their faith to people in our city who have physical and spiritual needs. In response to God’s goodness and grace toward us, Hope for LA mobilizes volunteers to work in partnership with community organizations to address the needs of marginalized people in the LA area. (see appendix 1) What this might look like:

• Serving together in Hope for LA’s major projects: Serve the City and Boxes of Love • Find a ministry in the area that your group can serve at regularly • Pray for ministries in your area during your community group • Encourage commitment to and participation in the life of local communities; neighborhood

organizations, PTA, voting, etc. Saying the Mission

Yet service alone is not enough. As Paul cries in Romans 10: “How then will they call on Him in whom they have not believed? And how are they to believe in Him of whom they have never heard? And how are they to hear without someone preaching?” The acts of the kingdom must always be accompanied by the message of the kingdom. We must say the mission; we must tell the gospel. The gospel is simply this: though we were alienated from God, God in Jesus came to us so that we might know Him. More than that, the whole world, including us, will one day be fully restored. As we wait for that restoration, we are called to proclaim this good news, not only within our community, not only by our actions and service in the world, but with words. To the degree that we understand what God has done for us in Jesus, and the devastating condition of those who have not yet received this news, we will be motivated to share it. If we encourage evangelism without finding our place in God’s story and God’s mission, our efforts at evangelism will be frustrated. Evangelism motivated by guilt, manipulation or only by calls to obedience will result in exhausted and shamed Christians, and ultimately silent Christians. What this might look like:

• Inviting seekers to your group. It is often in experiencing Christian community that people come to see the truth of the Christian faith. At all times we need to operate as if those still seeking are present. An important way to do this is by avoiding Christian jargon or

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explaining it when it is used. Your language should make them feel welcome as participants in the life of the group and not as outsiders.

• Pray regularly for friends who have not embraced Christ. All effective and sustained evangelism begins with prayer. Encourage your group members to keep a list of 5-7 friends and to pray a few times a week for them; even make sure that in your community group you regularly set aside time for prayer regarding these friends.

• Have a Party! Have less formal and low pressure opportunities to connect with people who might not feel comfortable in a normal community group setting.

• Service. Invite your friends to join you when your group is involved in various service opportunities. People enjoy being able to make a difference. Such opportunities can be a great way of introducing others to Jesus Christ and the work to which He calls His people. From there, you can invite them to your community group or worship services.

• Invite friends to a worship service. And invite them to lunch afterwards.


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Chapter 9 Fellowship

When one person is struck by the Word, he speaks it to others. God has willed that we should seek and find His living Word in the witness of a brother, in the mouth of man. Therefore, the Christian needs another Christian who speaks God’s Word to him...for by himself he cannot help himself without belying the truth...The Christ in his own heart is weaker than the Christ in the word of his brother; his own heart is uncertain, his brother’s is sure.

—D. Bonhoeffer Doing community well takes work. But there is a payoff. There is a reason why it is all worth it. In a word, fellowship. Fellowship is nothing more or less than doing life together. In a very real sense, then, everything we do in a community group, everything we have already talked about, is participating in fellowship: when we pray together, when we study the Bible together, when we worship together, when we do mission together, we are fellowshipping. Life together also means more than just doing ‘with’ each other; it is doing ‘for’ each other. In fact, if you looked at the picture of the Christian life that is given in the Bible, the vast majority of the actions can only be done if we live in community.

The “One Anothers” in the New Testament

Loving Each Other Love one another (1John 3:23).

Just as I have loved you, you also are to love one another (John 12:34)

Knowing Each Other Accept one another (Rom. 15:7). Our hearts are wide open to you… open your hearts to us as well. (2 Cor. 6:11-13)

Serving Each Other Bear one another's burdens (Gal. 6:2). Teach the Bible to one another (Col. 3:16). Submit to one another (Eph. 5:21).

Encouraging Each Other Honor one another (Rom. 12:10). Build one another up (1 Thess. 5:11). Encourage one another (1 Thess. 5:11)

Sharpening Each Other Confess your sins to one another (James 5:16). Exhort one another (Heb. 3:13). Confront one another (Rom. 15:14).

Reconciling with Each Other Live in harmony with one another (Rom. 12:16). Bearing with one another (Eph. 4:2).

Worshipping with Each Other Pray for one another (James 5:16).

Sing to one another (Eph. 5:19).

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But fellowship is also about the moments in between. Fellowship is eating together and drinking together. It is what we are doing when we talk sports, or weather, or fashion, or hobbies – connecting. It is going to birthday parties and baseball games, meeting up after church or after the community group. These moments, as small as they may seem, are actually the glue that holds a community group together. They are what moves a discussion in community group from abstract to practical; what moves us from trying to get a word in to being genuinely interested in what others think. They provide a relational context in which we are able to hear each other, and believe that we are for each other. Community groups only work if people care for each other, which they will only do if they know each other. So we must create opportunities for people to know each other, both during the regular meeting and outside of it. Fellowship with each other allows community group to become a joy rather than a duty. Community groups should be fun. People should look forward to their community group and not want to miss it.

As we spend more and more time with one another, both in the regular life of the community group and outside of it, deeper fellowship becomes possible. But we cannot create fellowship. We cannot compel people to engage with each other, we cannot instigate connection. People have to be willing to engage, be looking to connect. Our responsibility is to create an environment where fellowship can happen. Cultivating Fellowship within the Meeting

Welcome: Respond promptly to email inquiries. Provide clear instructions on location, time, parking and contact numbers. Don’t let anyone sit by themselves – look for ways to bring them into conversations. Icebreakers: Work hard for people to get to know each other. Ice-breakers really help here – use them but be mindful of inappropriate questions. The earlier in the groups life the less invasive questions need to be. There are scores of books on this topic – some are quite fun.

Examples of ice-breakers: • What historical event would you have liked to participate in? • If you were moving and could only take three things, what would they be? • What is one of your favorite scenes in a movie? • Tell about the best present you ever received. • Who would you like to interview?

Toolbox

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Food: Have food and drinks at every meeting and make sure they are good. Especially in the early meetings, food gives people something to do with their hands and helps lessen the awkwardness. Space: The group should sit in a circle and, if possible, everyone should be on the same level. Room should be well lit for reading. Time: Start and end meetings promptly to honor people’s time, but encourage people to stick around and mingle after the meeting. Discussion: The leader should not be the focal point of the study – people should interact with each other. Facilitate this by asking questions: e.g., “That’s a great point. I’m interested, what do you guys think about that? How would you respond?” Prayer: Provide regular opportunities to pray in smaller groups (2-3). Follow up on prayer requests. Ownership: Ask people to contribute in different ways (food, worship, leading, etc.). Have people work together on bigger projects (e.g., have two people work together on finding service opportunities). Cultivating Fellowship outside of the Meeting

Food: Have dinner together regularly, either at someone’s house (preferable) or at a restaurant. Do it at least once every two months. Meet up: Meet with a couple of members at a time for lunch or coffee. (Try not to meet regularly one-on-one with group members, because it can cultivate a connection to the leader but not to the group). Find out who works or lives close to each other. Encourage them to meet up with each other. Sundays: Connect before or after the service. Sit together in the service. Take a Christian Ed class together. Volunteer together for parking, connection team, prayer team. Outings: Go bowling. Go to a baseball game. Have an afternoon at the beach. Mission: Do service projects together. Serve together at Serve the City. Go on short term missions trips together. Life-on-Life: Invite the group into your life. Invite each other into big moments: a graduation, a birthday party. Forget taxis - take each other to the airport. Help each other move. Get Together with Other Groups: Meet up with other Community Groups in your area and have a big party, have a volleyball tournament, etc.


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Part 3 What is a Community Group

Leader?


-Pacific Crossroads Community Group Misison Statement

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Chapter 10 Being a Community Group Leader

Who a Community Group Leader Is

Prerequisites for Community Group Leaders: • Mature Christian, able to articulate Gospel with confidence • Member of Pacific Crossroads Church (or in process) • Experienced leader/participant of community group • Attend New Leader Training, apply and be approved to lead a CG

A pastor: Guess what? You are in ministry. Surprise! Every Christian is a priest. Peter writes: “But you are a chosen race, a royal priesthood, a holy nation, a people for His own possession, that you may proclaim the excellencies of Him who called you out of darkness into His marvelous light” (1 Peter 2:9) The pastors and staff are to equip the saints for ministry, not do it for them. The work of the church belongs to all the people of the church. As Community Group leaders, you are essential servants in God’s mission, pastoring the people in your group.. The group leader is the person who is at the closest level of care and concern for the members of the church. An example: As a leader, you will be modeling the Christian life to your group. Is your walk with God dynamic and vital? They will know. Dry and lifeless? They will know. In other words, your group needs to see you living by grace. This is a weighty responsibility, but it is not meant to be overwhelming. The expectations for CG leaders assume orientation, not completion. As Paul exclaims: “Not that I have already attained this, but I press on to make it my own because Christ Jesus has made me His own” (Philippians 3:12). The story of God’s church is a story of broken men and women pursuing holiness. In fact, what your community group needs is not a leader wearing a mask of pretend holiness, but the uncovered honesty of a leader struggling to pursue real holiness. Honesty and transparency cannot be programmed into a group – they are modeled by the leader. Modeling a healthy personal relationship with God - at the least - will entail:

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• Obedience to God’s word in all area of life • Prayer • Stewardship of gifts, resources, talents and time • Personal study of God’s word

What a Community Group Leader Does

Caring for the Group: • Pray regularly for your group and the people within it • Facilitate and model genuine sharing of struggles and triumphs, needs and problems • Point group as a whole and people within it to Jesus • Encourage group members to identify and exercise their spiritual gifts: create a culture of

shared ownership • Encourage group members to spend time together outside the group meeting • Invite newcomers! Lead the group in becoming a welcoming place for new people

Organizing the group:

• Respond in timely manner to all inquiries from people looking for a group. • Be prepared to lead weekly CG meetings (hopefully this is shared responsibility with co-

leader) • Insure the meeting place is warm and inviting (in an ideal situation, the leader should NOT

host) • Seek to include all essential aspects of a CG: worship, Bible study, prayer, mission, and

fellowship. • Recruit and train others for leading in hospitality, service, communications, socials, etc. • Develop apprentices from within the group who will eventually either co-lead or start a new

group • Be prepared to lead your group through the multiplication process

Connecting to the Crossroads Community:

• Support and promote the vision and values of Crossroads and of Community Groups (i.e. do not undermine church teaching)

• Read and respond as necessary to emails from Community Group Staff • Coordinate representatives for their group for the Community Group Fair • Required to attend the Neighborhood Party for their area • Required to attend SYNC • Required to attend Current Leader Meetings • Watch for and refer divisiveness and other acute issues to your CG coach

Connecting to your Community Group Coach:

• Meet with Coach for encouragement and development • Stay in regular contact with coach via email and phone • Set up time for coach to visit group (2x a year)

As you grow and develop as a CG leader, and as a follower of Jesus, see appendix 5 for some questions to ask yourself as a leader (from City Church Orlando).

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A Leader Developing Leaders

One of your primary responsibilities is to look for and develop leaders within your group. The best leaders enable others to lead. We want our groups to have a culture of leadership development. Why? Several reasons: The first is theological. When God created humanity, he gave them the world and told them to cultivate it, have dominion in it. We were built to take responsibility, to lead; that is part of what it means to be human, to be made in the image of God. This means that while no one leads in every area of their life, we all should have areas of our lives in which we take ownership, responsibility, and leadership. The second reason is practical: it prevents the inevitable burnout when one person is leading everything. Third, it helps people move from their natural inclination to be observers and consumers to become participants and servants. The group really becomes “our” group. Fourth, it encourages and stimulates growth in the people of the group. The path to maturity comes only through responsibility – if they are not being challenged, they will stagnate, spiritually as well as emotionally and relationally. Think of how you have grown by being a CG leader. Part of what it means to care for the people in your group is to provide them opportunities to grow. What does developing leaders look like? It means continually giving away responsibility, asking people to step up and take ownership in various ways in the group. Encourage people to lead in everything from organizing food and drink, to coordinating service projects, to having different people lead the discussion. Keep an eye out for potential CG leaders and train them as Apprentices, slowly inviting them into different responsibilities within the group and encouraging them throughout the process.

Here are some questions to ask yourself as you look for potential apprentices: • Overall qualifications for an apprentice:

Do they take the CG seriously? Do they value the vision of CGs? • Spiritual qualifications:

Do you see God working in their life? Are they self-feeders? Are they eager to learn? Grow? Are they teachable?

• Emotional qualifications Are they secure enough to be vulnerable with the group? Are they emotionally stable? Are they aware of their strengths and weaknesses? How do they respond to confrontation?

• Social qualifications Are they able to listen? Are they gifted with people? Are they able to help facilitate discussion?

Notice that there is nothing said of their ability to lead right now. The question is not whether they are a leader but rather whether they can be a good leader. An Overview of Apprenticeship:

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As you help them foster their leadership potential, have them: • Take increased leadership roles in current group • Meet with leader beforehand to talk through meeting • Meet with leader after meeting to debrief • Be available to meet with Pastor to Community Group Leaders or a Coach • Be teachable and committed to growth and learning • Attend New Leader Training

Committing to Caring for Community Group Leaders

Our main desire and goal for you is your growth in following Jesus. While leading a community group is challenging task, our hope and expectation is that the experience will grow you as a leader and grow you toward Jesus. Here is what we commit to you as a CG leader and fellow-laborer in Jesus:

• You will have a coach who will meet with you, visit your group, and help you think through issues and opportunities in your group. He or she will also be committed to pray for you on a regular basis, and to care for your personal well-being as well as that of the group.

• The Community Group staff will pray for you regularly and be available for any of your questions or concerns where your coach is not able to help. We will provide or help you find resources you might need, whether for study or care of your group. We will communicate clearly and regularly about upcoming events for community groups.

• There will be regular meetings for encouragement and your development as a leader and a

follower of Jesus. These include SYNC meetings, which are a quarterly gathering of all the church leaders, as well as Current Leaders Meetings, where we focus on various aspects of leading a community group. Also we will have CG Leader Retreats, where we will get away together for a weekend, rest, enjoy fellowship, and be encouraged spiritually.

To sum up: YOU ARE NOT ALONE. We want to have a community around you to help you as you serve God’s church. If you ever find yourself feeling lost or out of your depth, we want you to have places to go for help, people you can call in for reinforcements. With that in mind, your first and closest support will be your Coach.


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Chapter 11 Community Group Coaches

What is a Coach?

Community Group Coaches are part-time paid staff whose role is to come alongside our leaders to support, encourage, resource and develop them and their groups. Coaches work with all the group leaders in one of our geographic areas. Why have Coaches?

Coaches provide a way for each leader to have someone intentionally in their life supporting them as they do the work of ministering to the groups. As a leader, you are an integral and vital part of our community – we want to do the best we can to encourage and help you as you lead. Coaches also help us get a “big picture” of our community, as well as provide needed links between the pastors and each leader and each group. What will a Coach do?

Your Coach will meet with you several times a year, one-on-one and in small groups of leaders, as well as regularly connect with you via phone call or email. They will encourage you, pray for you, help you think through questions and issues raised by your group, and help you think strategically about the group and your group members. They will visit your group a couple of times a year simply to show support for you and get to know your group a little better. They will also be organizing neighborhood events to get groups in your area together. What is my responsibility to my Coach?

Your Coach is your main lifeline to the church – they are the ones who will work with you to know you, and know your group. Use your Coach! Ask them questions. Bounce ideas off of them. Elicit their help in thinking about your group. Additionally, help them as they seek to serve you by responding promptly to their emails or phone calls, make them welcome when they visit your group, and make time to meet with them.


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Chapter 12 Understanding the Life Cycle of a

Community Group In developing healthy biblical community, Community Groups will generally go through a series of stages. These stages, like stages in life, are never clearly marked. Sometimes, you may not even notice that your group has passed from one to the next. However, a basic understanding of stages will help you adjust to the different issues and problems of each level of group maturity. It may explain why someone left the group, why no one answers your questions, why conflict occurs. "These stages are descriptive and not prescriptive for small groups. That is, they describe groups, they don't say how they should go. Leaders should not try to force their groups through these stages.” Good Things Come in Small Groups.

A Community Group "Timeline"

Although different names are given to the stages in group life, most analysts of Community Groups recognize a similar pattern. In "timeline" format the cycle looks like the following:

The Stages Explained

Although the group as a whole passes through these stages together, remember that some people may be on a different "timeline." Experienced Community Group members enter the group with positive and negative reminders from their past groups. People who have never been in a group before may press expectations on the group that come from outside sources – business roundtables, recovery groups, sports. Finally, one should be aware that the stages are experienced in a fluid manner. Once one has moved on to a new stage they do not completely leave the previous stages behind. For instance, group “bonding” continues to occur even when the group has passed over into the stage of “mutual ministry and service.” Also along these lines, whenever new members join an existing group, those individuals begin at the "bonding" stage. These new people also have an effect on the group as a whole, causing it to step back a stage or so until the person is enfolded into the group.

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1. Bonding (First 3-5 meetings) A stage of exploration, and usually excitement, occurs when the group first starts. But there is also some anxiety. Attendees are asking: “Do I belong?” “Do people like me?” “Do I like them?” “What is the purpose of this group?” “Is this group going to work?” “Can I trust this leader?” “Am I and my ideas viewed as significant and valuable?” The leader should be aware that these kinds of questions are being asked. Good preparation and solid leadership are critical to the first few meetings. It is essential that you make the purpose of the group clearly known during this stage; for the understood purpose shapes the expectations, attitudes and actions of the group. The primary needs of people in this stage are to feel welcome, connected, relaxed and safe. Most of the time is spent in acquaintance activities and in genuine sharing. People need to get the idea that they can be honest. They need to know that other group members and especially the leader will not be shocked by what they hear or be condemning. The leader will set the pattern for this sharing. Others will follow his or her lead. Yet, the leader must not rush this. As Gorman writes “Too much intimacy too soon frightens persons at this stage. The leader who forces intimacy on participants (physical hugs or psychologically revealing sharing) may find they won’t be back. But if they don’t eventually move in the direction of closeness, neither will they feel satisfied.” One of the best and safest kinds of sharing to do at this stage is to focus on past events and experiences. 2. Growing Deeper Once the "honeymoon" is over and group members know each other a little better, differences in personality, in expectations, in maturity, etc. can create conflict. By the third or fourth meeting, people have to decide whether to commit to the group or not. When a group isn't meeting a member's "needs," he or she may want to leave. You may deal with inconsistent attendance, or dropouts. (Note that this also happens after a new member joins your existing group.) The group will also need to be dealing with those who tend to dominate and control the group and prevent it from being a positive experience. If there are overly angry persons, overly critical persons, overly talkative individuals, or especially needy persons in the group they will have emerged by this time. You will have to develop a strategy for helping them to become productive members of the group. People are determining how much they can trust one another with the reality of their lives at this stage. They are asking the questions: “How honest can I be?” “Can I open up?” The leader continues to set the tone for sharing. People gauge how honest and real they can be by how honest and real the leader is being. It is important to promote healthy tension during this stage. People need to know that it is O.K. to disagree with the leader and with one another. The leader can facilitate this by asking “agree/disagree questions” and by playing “devil’s advocate.” Bible study becomes richer in terms of application as this stage progresses.

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Another set of questions that is being asked at this stage is: “Do I feel built up and helped by being here?” “Is this a place where I can build up and help others?” These questions help assess whether a genuine interdependent community is developing. Also during this stage, the group must become our group, not just the leader's group. A sense of “we-ness” ought to be developing. It is important that you not be defensive about individuals who decide that this is not the group for them and leave. Do your best to follow up with them, find out why they are leaving, and recommend a new group. No group can suit everyone; at Crossroads there are enough other choices. 3. Mutual Ministry and Service In this stage, people have committed to the group and have generally begun to look past their own needs to the others in the group. All the group elements: fellowship, Bible study, mission, worship, prayer, etc. should have their place. Members feel more comfortable in the group and sharing is more genuine. People are carrying out the “one another” commands. They are looking to each other for support and not just the leader. Your group should feel like a close and warm community with group members regularly praying and caring for one another. Group members should be experiencing significant growth in their Christian life. Don't be surprised if some members voice deeply personal problems or disagreements with each other. Handling these issues with honesty and grace will help the group grow in maturity. A potential pitfall in this stage is that one member's problems overtake the group. If necessary, spend time outside of the group with the person, pair them with a mature group member, or refer them to support. You may experience emotional ups and downs as your group goes from a great meeting one week to a disappointing one the next. You will benefit greatly by evaluating your group at this stage and making minor adjustments. Also, by now you should have a visit from your Coach. Discuss with your Coach any problems you are experiencing. If you haven't done so, choose an Apprentice. As a leader, you are still responsible for keeping the relationships deep and honest. Resting in your "successes" is a sure-fire way to create boredom. Maintain your preparation and continue to evaluate and adjust. Liven the group up with an outing, a special dinner or a group retreat. Break with routine. In addition to caring for one another, the group will also begin to look outside itself. This may take the form of group service projects or outreach activities, or it might simply involve the members being supportive of one another in their individual mission endeavors. Finally, in this stage the apprentice ought to be much more involved in sharing the leadership of the group. 4. Transition and Multiplication When a group has grown large enough and mature enough to multiply, it is important for you to prepare the group for such a transition. This same situation applies to groups which terminate or break for the summer. Termination is difficult; groups need to close, to review where they have been, to celebrate joys, and to plan for new groups. Don't wait for the last night; spend a couple of meetings closing the group. Resolve any loose ends, keep relationships going smoothly, and provide for members who need special attention.

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By this stage, your Apprentice Leader ought to be trained and ready to lead a group. Rather than splitting your group down the middle, choose a couple of members to go with the Apprentice to "birth" a new group. Finally, be aware that some groups will come to an end without multiplying. There are numerous reasons why this might take place. Perhaps people have moved away. Maybe the leader was never quite able to get the group to gel and interest has died out. Maybe people have come to like each other so much that they are no longer willing to speak the truth in love for fear of hurting the friendships. All of these can be legitimate reasons to end the group. Do not consider such groups a failure. Undoubtedly, a number of good things took place in people’s lives and individuals grew in maturity. Make sure you take time to celebrate what took place and to affirm one another. The mistake you should avoid is trying to prolong the life of the group when everyone would be best served by moving on to a new group.


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Chapter 13 Community Structure

Important Events

New Leader Training At the New Leader Training people interested in becoming CG leaders meet other leaders and potential leaders, meet the staff, and get an overview of what the vision is for community groups and what being a CG Leader looks like at Crossroads. Current Leader Training Current Leader Training is where the staff connects and resources our CG Leaders with principles and tools that will help as they lead. It also is a forum to discuss questions and challenges CG Leaders face. SYNC SYNC meetings are quarterly leaders meetings with the goals of informing, equipping and encouraging the leaders of our church. The word SYNC is derived from “synchronize.” It is the only time that all of the leaders of Crossroads’ community are together. That group of leaders includes all church staff, all church officers (i.e. elders), all CG leaders and coaches, all Hope for LA leaders and many of the volunteer leaders. The meeting usually has three parts: a shared meal, a general teaching session, and a breakout session for the different ministry areas (i.e. Community groups and HFLA). CG Leader Retreat The Retreat is a chance for leaders to get away, spend some time relaxing together and enjoying rest, fun, and fellowship with other CG leaders. There will also be times of prayer, as well as biblical teaching specifically focused on community and the challenges CG leaders face. Community Group Fair The Community Group fair is a bi-annual event on a Sunday after each service (February and September) designed to plug people into community groups. The Fair is designed to be festive and give as many opportunities as possible for people to interact with the leaders of each of the LAUNCH and community groups. Neighborhood Parties Los Angeles is a large city and our community are scattered across it. Neighborhood parties are events meant to connect community groups in specific neighborhoods across Los Angeles, to bring them closer together, create a sense of community within the area, and also connect our Crossroads community to the city and communities we live in. These parties provide opportunities to give Crossroads a presence in our communities and are low pressure places to invite our neighbors.

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Chapter 14 Multiplying Groups

Because Community Groups are the heart of the community of Crossroads, our desire is that there are enough groups for everyone in the church to be involved. This means, as the church grows, our community groups have to grow as well. But if each individual group grows, there comes a point when it loses its identity. As a group grows past a certain size, the “small group dynamic begins to fade.” Once a group grows past 12 people, research suggests that SOMEONE will stop contributing. The larger the group gets, the number of people not contributing will only grow until you are left with a few strong personalities talking. In addition, as the group grows people do not feel as connected to the group and are therefore not as committed. This explains why a group will balloon to 16 or 20 people for several weeks but then suddenly drop 10 or 12 – people stop coming because the meeting is no longer as important to them. The simple solution to this problem would be just to divide the group into 2 or 3 smaller groups. BUT after a couple of cycles of groups splitting, people get relationally weary. They may even feel “penalized” for their success. They are told to “be missional” and to divide their group and for a while they do so, but long term it makes people hesitant to commit to another group that will only last a short time. In a city as disconnected as Los Angeles is, we want to do what we can to help people stay connected. As long as we keep growing, we will face this “problem” (it ought to be noted that some of our healthiest community groups are the result of multiplication). The approach we are adopting is a hybrid between Redeemer in NYC, which multiplies groups by splitting, and a church in San Diego, North Coast Church, which hives off apprentices to start new groups leaving the members of the original group behind. Each situation is different and the CG leader(s) along with his/her coach will have to make decisions about what makes the most sense. With that said, here are some of the factors:

Vocabulary

We will never use the word “split” again, rather “multiply” or “plant.” Our church desires to be missional; this is not just at the congregational level but also at the CG level. We want this process to be more like giving birth (painful then joyful) than like dividing something (painful then a feeling of loss).

Talk “missionally”

Our groups need to be growing for biblical, theological and philosophical reasons. The Bible has a very clear centrifugal thrust – we are to “go out” into the world because our God is a “going God” who came to us when we were lost in our transgressions and sins. In addition, churches and community groups are organisms and the nature of an organism is to reproduce itself. This theological reality is

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why we resist allowing groups to “close.” We will occasionally allow a group to “close” for a time – but this is not ideal. More on closing below.

Raise up apprentices

This has to be going on all the time for many reasons. If and when the time comes to plant a new CG, the apprentice can lead the group plant. But the apprentice needs to have logged some hours helping to lead the original group. Waiting until the group is too large is not the time to find apprentices. Have a plan

When the group starts to grow, the leaders need to make suggestions about a plan to plant (i.e. “in three months, ‘Amy the apprentice’ will start a group at her apartment…,” “before the next CG fair, we would like to launch a new group in this area…”). Make this a group decision

The leader must involve all the members in this decision. There needs to be GROUP ownership of all things regarding the group and this includes the decision to hive off.

Honor existing relationships and geography

Self-evident, right? But the whole point of not simply multiplying is to honor this. As best we can, we want to keep people together – especially when they live close together. In addition, we encourage groups that do plant other groups to periodically get back together as a “large” group for social and service outings. An analogy is going from roommates to neighbors who occasionally get back together.

Give time to grieve

No matter how well this process happens, there will need to be grieving – this honors the people and the relationships. So have a social event of some sort to celebrate what has been a great success. Maybe even the new groups can be “sent out” a la a commissioning on Sunday morning.

Closing a group

Occasionally it makes the most sense for a group to “close” its doors to new members for a limited period of time. For instance, a group might grow so fast after its inception that it has not had a time to gel and to multiply would hurt the group. To close a group, you must contact the CG Director and get permission to do so. When the group “closes” there needs to be a plan to re-open when certain criteria have been met (i.e. an apprentice has been groomed and is ready to lead the planted group). A “closed” group remains on the website, but with a note that it is closed.

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Chapter 15 Leading a LAUNCH Group

What are LAUNCH groups?

LAUNCH groups are modified community groups designed to integrate newcomers into Pacific Crossroads and specifically into our community groups. LAUNCH groups meet in the Fall and Spring and run for 6 weeks. A participant in a LAUNCH group will meet fellow newcomers to Pacific Crossroads and be exposed to how a community group works. The goal is that at the end of 6 weeks the participants will either join another group OR decide to continue meeting and form their own community group. The LAUNCH group meeting will resemble a Community Group meeting (worship, prayer, fellowship and Bible study) and will use the sermon response questions. Why LAUNCH groups?

• LAUNCH groups allow newcomers to our community to get plugged into a group of people that they have something in common with, namely, being new

• They are a way to multiply the number of community groups we have • There is a lower barrier to entry than a regular community group because everyone is new. • It creates an easy access point for newcomers • It also is an easy access point for people who have been worshipping at Crossroads for a

while but who have not been able to plug into an existing community group • Just as significantly, it creates an easy exit strategy (limited time). People are more willing

to commit to something that is only for a limited amount of time • Helps move Pacific Crossroads members (the LAUNCH group leaders) into outward faced

ministry Who is in a LAUNCH group?

Anyone who is not currently in a community group is welcome. LAUNCH groups will be designed and marketed to attract newcomers, however, a regular who is not in a community group will be welcome (and encouraged) to join. The Goal of LAUNCH groups

The goal of LAUNCH groups is to have every person who participates in a LAUNCH group become a part of a long term community group. This can happen one of two ways. One, the group can go beyond the 5 week allotment and become a regular group. Two, the group concludes after 5 weeks and the LAUNCH leader helps the participants join another, existing, community group.

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When will the groups LAUNCH? How long will they run?

Each Fall and Spring the start of new LAUNCH groups will be coordinated with the Community Group Fair. They will run for 6 weeks. At that point the group will make a decision whether or not to continue. Whether or not the LAUNCH group leader stays with the group will be up to the leader and the group. Who is a LAUNCH group leader?

A LAUNCH group leader is someone who meets all the qualifications of a community group leader. They are committed to Pacific Crossroad’s vision for community groups. In addition they have a particular burden and gift to connect newcomers and outsiders to the church AND to one another. It is hoped that LAUNCH leaders will be able to spend time with the group members outside of the weekly meeting (coffee with individuals, Friday night wine party for group, bowling, etc). What HAPPENS in a LAUNCH group?

A LAUNCH group is designed to give people a taste of community group life. So the purpose statement of Community Groups should be read every week: “We are here to experience Christ Jesus in our midst, ministering to us and through us to one another, so that our community and lives are changed.” To that end, all five elements of a community group should be incorporated (with the possible exception of Mission. Those five elements are: Mission, Worship, Prayer, Fellowship, Bible Study. In terms of Bible study, the LAUNCH groups will use the sermon discussion questions. As far as the other elements – each LAUNCH group leader is free to determine how they want to incorporate them (i.e. if you want to worship by singing - great, if you want to worship by reading a Psalm responsively – great). Here is a general outline of how the 6 weeks could look (hour and a half meeting MAXIMUM) – all of these points - including the goals are suggestions and prompts. Leading a group is an art, not a science. Week 1: Longish ice breaker, read purpose statement, short Bible study, prayer

• GOAL: Get to know one another. Week 2: Ice breaker, read purpose statement, worship, Bible study, prayer

• GOAL: Spend time praying as a group for one another. Week 3: Read purpose statement, Worship, Prayer, Bible study

• GOAL: Someone besides the leader leads the worship time. The group starts to “gel” and “go deeper”

Week 4: Read purpose statement, Bible study, talk about the end of study, prayer

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• GOAL: Someone besides the leader leads the prayer time AND identify one “rising” leader.

Week 5: Celebrate the group/grieve the group, make future plans, Bible study, prayer.

• GOALS: Consider finishing with a service project. If the group is not continuing, help the members find a permanent community group. If the group is continuing the leader and the host must be specified.

Week 6: Party!

Miscellaneous

• Make sure the space is warm and inviting (well lit, chairs in a circle, etc.). • Have GOOD food, especially in the early weeks. • Give ownership of the group away, even from the first week. For instance, have other people

start bringing the food in week #2. • Plan deliberately for the end of the LAUNCH Group and the transition following.

• Build expectations within the group (“after our 6th week, the group decides what the next steps are”)

• Be ready to transition out of leadership; be looking for potential leaders within the group


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Part 4: Appendices



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Appendix 1: Contact Information Church Address 6330 San Vicente Blvd Suite 102 Los Angeles, CA 90048 Church Phone # (310) 551-0081 Important Emails

General Inquiries: [email protected]

Drew: [email protected]

Erin: [email protected]

Grace: [email protected] Important Websites

Main: www.pacificcrossroads.org CG Map and Signup: www.pacificcrossroads.org/community

*THE place to direct people interested in community groups CG Leaders Website: www.PacificCrossroads.org/CGresources

*This website has been made specifically for Community Group Leaders. It has the most recent discussion guides, key dates, and the most updated version of the Community Group Leaders Manual.

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Appendix 2: A Tentative Calendar Trimester 1: January - March April Off Trimester 2: May - July August Off Trimester 3: September - November December Off

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Appendix 3: Policies Child Care Policy

Community Groups who anticipate a regular need for paid childcare to facilitate group meetings may request babysitting funding from the church. Community Group sponsored events may also be eligible to receive funds. Written requests should be submitted through the Community Coordinator, Grace Lee ([email protected]). She must provide written approval before groups can begin submitting requests for babysitting payments. Approved Expenses The church has only set aside funds to partially subsidize the cost of the babysitters’ time (see #1 below). Babysitters are paid at the approved rate of $15 per hour for up to 2 hours at a regular CG meeting. Additional paid babysitting time must first be approved by the Community Life Coordinator. The church will not cover any additional costs for food, mileage, or other supplies. Conditions for receiving babysitting funds:

1. Donations from group members – Since the Childcare fund cannot cover 100% of all babysitting expenses, there is a donation of $5 per group member (or per couple) per meeting to help cover the cost of childcare. Additional donations are encouraged for group members with more than one child who consistently need babysitting services. Specific donation amounts are at the discretion of each parent. Any parent or group member present at the meeting who is NOT using the childcare services does NOT have to pay the $5 donation. The group leader or a designated group member should collect donations and mail donations to the Community Coordinator, Grace Lee, on a monthly basis. Please mail donations from the previous month no later than the 7th of the month. (If a group member cannot afford the $5 donation fee per meeting, they do not have to pay it.)

2. Must use approved childcare workers - Only babysitters who have been pre-approved may work at any Community Group meeting or Community Group sponsored event. Each babysitter must submit info and be cleared through our Children’s Ministry background check process OR provide appropriate documentation of background check clearance through a valid agency. Once approved for CG sponsored group or event, the babysitter may work for any group or event without further approvals.

3. Payment from church only - All childcare workers must complete a Form W-9 and babysitting payment will be considered as income to the IRS. Babysitters must be paid directly from the church, which mean donations must be received by Taylor on a monthly basis. Payment can only take place at the time of service (the day of the group meeting/event) or after the group meeting/event. There are no advance payments.

Payment Process Group leader or designated group member emails Community Coordinator, Grace Lee, after each group meeting indicating (1) the full name of who should be paid and (2) how many hours he/she worked. Community Coordinator will review and approve the request and forward to the appropriate person to process the check for payment.

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Exceptions LAUNCH Groups that require babysitting – church will pay for 100% of babysitting expenses during the LAUNCH period (6 weeks) without requiring donations. Required Babysitter to Child Ratio For every 5 children there must be at least 1 babysitter present to provide childcare. If there aren’t enough babysitters to meet this requirement, an adult (parent) must stay behind and help care for the children.

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Appendix 4: CG Leader Application Name: Email: Phone: Area of town: Community Group you currently attend? How long have you been involved in this CG? What experience, if any, have you had leading a Bible study or community group in the past? Please list what you believe your strengths to be when it comes to leading a community group? Please list what you believe your weaknesses to be when it comes to leading a community group? Character reference (would be ideal if your current community group leader knew you well enough to be this person!): References email and phone: Are you interested in (check all that apply): ___(co-)leading my existing group ___leading a group that will be planted out of my existing group ___co-leading a LAUNCH group Is there a particular type of group you would like to lead (e.g. co-ed, single sex, couples, families)? Doctrinal Qualifications (covered in church membership) Are you a member of PCC? When do you intend to join? Moral Qualifications: The Bible has much to say about behavior that is pleasing to God. The ten commandments remain an excellent summary of what kind of lifestyle God expects from His people. It is important that leaders strive to follow these commandments and all of their implications. There are, however, a few areas of moral conduct in which there is significant controversy as to what is biblically permissible. It is important for leaders at PCC to be in agreement in these areas. Again, these are not the only, or even the most important, moral issues. However, in our cultural climate, they are often disregarded and therefore as one who leads and pastors others we need to know where you stand on them.

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Sexual ethics: We believe that sex is a gift from God by which we declare to a spouse that we belong and are committed completely and exclusively to them. On that basis we believe that sex outside of marriage is wrong and that living with someone with whom you are romantically involved and yet to whom you are not married is also wrong. Can you give your assent to those beliefs? We believe that practicing a homosexual lifestyle is not an option for a Christian. Can you subscribe to this belief? Marriage ethics: We believe that the covenant made in marriage is permanent and that divorce is permissible only after desertion or a fundamental breaking of that covenant by one partner by means of adultery. Do you have convictions other than these? General Ethics: Though all of us fail as we strive to lead an obedient life, is there any behavior which you believe to be wrong which you have given into or ceased to fight against which you feel might disqualify you from leadership? Maturity and Emotional Qualifications: It is important that you be emotionally stable and mature if you are going to be leading a group. There can be events which take place in our lives which throw us off balance for a season which make leading a group unwise. There can also be issues in a person's life with which we have not dealt effectively and which therefore cause the person to behave towards others in inappropriate ways. It is wise to evaluate yourself and to seek the opinions of others regarding these things. Self evaluation: Have you gone through an event recently that has left you feeling emotionally unstable or disquieted? Evaluation by others: In asking others for their honest opinion about how you are received and perceived by people, what have they told you? Accountability Qualifications Are you willing to convene a group 2 to 4 times per month and give necessary time for preparation? Are you willing to follow up those who miss your CG meeting or fail to attend for a period time (Matthew 18:10-14)? Are you willing to develop other leaders in your group (apprentices)? Will you make every effort to attend quarterly SYNC meetings and on-going training for CG leaders (bi-annual)? Will you submit to the (loving!) oversight of your coach and/or the Pastor to Community Group Leaders?

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Appendix 5: Questions to Ask Yourself:

Questions on Preparation (think about who you “were” before the Meeting)

• Did I digest the material / agenda? • Did I apply the material to myself? • Did I pray Psalm 139:23, 24 (or something similar)? • Was I prayerful?

o Did I pray for Jesus to be seen, known & glorified and not myself? Did I repent of the idols of seeking approval and applause? (usually manifest in fear)

o Did I repent of the idols of pride and “knowing it all?” (usually manifest in independence and prayerlessness)

o Did I pray for Holy Spirit to be working in the hearts of my people? o Did I pray for Holy Spirit to give me ears to hear while teaching/facilitating?

Questions on Execution (think about who you “were” during the Meeting)

• Was I enjoying myself and the task Jesus had given me? • Was I learning with the group? Was their dialogue penetrating my soul? • Was I in tune to the leading of the Spirit? • Was I mindful of the time? • Was I mindful of the balance between Questions & Teaching? • Was I encouraging and fostering vulnerability and risk-taking?

Questions on Reflection (after the Meeting)

• Have I learned more about my people through leading the group? • Have I incorporated what I’ve learned into my prayer life for the group? • Do I need to follow up with anyone based on how the night went?

o When, how, why, who else? o Do I need to seek forgiveness?

§ Did I cut folks off, not listen, make fun in a hurtful way, judge, etc.? • Do I need to encourage someone who I can see growth in? • Have I “let go” of what went well (potential arrogance)? • Have I “let go” of what went poorly (judging myself)? • Am I as prayerful after leading as before?

o Proving that I believe in prayer and am not “manipulating” God for outcome instead of patting myself on the back or beating myself up

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Appendix 6: Understanding Biblical Change (adapted and abridged from a paper by Timothy Keller) The need for change

One of the goals of the Christian life is that we will be conformed into the image of Christ (Rom. 8:29). All of us are far from showing forth His likeness; we are not what we ought to be. Bridging the gap between what we are and what we ought to be is one of God’s great interests, and it ought to be ours as well. Therefore, it is critical that we understand how change takes place in our own lives and in the lives around us. The goal for change: Christ-likeness

Becoming like Jesus in the beauty and glory of His humanity is the end for which God’s children are destined. “Whoever claims to live in Him must walk as Jesus did” (1 John 2:6). In looking at Him we learn what it means to be a fully alive human being. The source of change: God’s grace

God Changes Us by Grace The Scriptures make it clear that salvation in its entirety is God’s gracious work. Salvation in all its parts– what has already happened and what has yet to happen– is a gift. We don’t accomplish it or make it happen in the least. And yet many people go wrong at just this point. They begin the Christian life on the basis that their acceptance with God comes by grace. But they believe that maintaining that standing is dependent upon their own efforts. Paul strongly cautions us against this kind of thinking. He sees it as having rejected the gospel (Gal. 3:3-5). At the very least, it means that we will not experience a life of grace and joy. Change takes place by grace through faith! God Enlists Our Efforts in His Work Of Changing Us Paul writes, “Work out your salvation with fear and trembling for it is God who works in you both to will and to work for His good pleasure” (Phil. 2:12,13) We are called to work, but we are to work out our salvation not for our salvation. We have things to do, but God is in charge and is credited with producing the change in our lives. The tool for change: scriptures

Change takes place in our lives only when the power of the Holy Spirit and scriptural truth are together operating on our hearts. They help to expose our sin, and they offer us promises which we can use in our struggle to live faithfully. Therefore, if we are to see people’s character transformed (including our own), we will both pray for them and bring the Scriptures to bear on their lives.

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The battlefield of change: a rebellious heart

What is wrong with us as human beings? According to the Bible, our core problem is that we are in purposeful rebellion against God. Our problem is a heart problem (Luke 6:43ff). At the level of our motivations, we want to serve ourselves rather than God. According to Romans 1, our chief problem is not that our needs are unmet, but that we have wickedly turned away from God in our hearts. We have been unwilling to glorify God and have rejected His lordship over us (Romans 1:18f). Another way of putting all of this is that our core problem is idolatry. We have developed God-substitutes and have given ourselves over to worshipping them. This central rebellion has led to the all the emotional, mental and behavioral problems which we experience. The process to bring about change in anyone’s life is turning from idolatries and replacing them with belief in the gospel. This repentance/faith discipline is an ongoing process of renewal that continues throughout the Christian life. The first discipline of change: repentance (turning from idols)

Idols and “Lusts of the Flesh” Our idols are those things we count on to give our lives meaning. They are the things of which we say, “I need this to make me happy” or “If I don’t have this my life is worthless and meaningless”. We say by implication, “Lord, it’s good to have you, but there’s this other thing which I must have or my life is not happy or meaningful. You are not enough. In fact, if you would take this from me, I’d turn my back on you.” Idols are by no means limited to “one per person”. Calvin commented that the human heart was an “idol-making factory”. It is when we begin to speak of these things by saying “I must have it” that we recognize the deep similarity between idols and what the Bible elsewhere calls the “lust of the flesh.” These are more than bodily appetites, rather we should think of them as “inordinate desires.” The problem is not with wanting many of these things, but with wanting them too much. Our desires become inordinate. They come to rule us instead of God. So then, idolatry and lusts of the flesh are the “summary terms for what is wrong with people in God’s eyes.” These terms enable us to explain “why” we do “what” we do. All of our harmful behaviors and uncomfortable feelings– anger, worry, self-pity, etc.– can be explained in terms of our lusts and idols (Luke 6:43ff). Repenting of Our Idolatries Repentance and mortification are essential if we are to effectively address our problems and find ourselves changed. Repentance can be defined as turning from sin, while mortification can be defined as putting sin to death. The acts of repentance and mortification of sin involve the following: 1. Regular self-examination. We must not only repent of sin generally. We must do so specifically. This requires taking a look at your thoughts and actions at the end of the day and determining specific ways in which you have failed to live a God-pleasing life. 2. Identifying idols of the heart which underlie specific behaviors.

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You might uncover some of your idols by asking the following diagnostic questions:

• If you are angry ask, “Is there something too important to me? Is that why I am angry– because I am being blocked from having something I think is a necessity when it is not?”

• If you are fearful or badly worried ask, “Is there something too important to me? Something I am telling myself I have to have? Is that why I am so scared -- because something is being threatened which I think is a necessity when it is not?”

• If you are despondent or hating yourself ask, “Is there something too important to me? Something I have to have? Is that why I am so “down”– because I have lost or failed at something which I think is a necessity which is not?”

3. Consider the horror of your sins and idols. We must come to see the ugliness of our sins and ruling desires. As one writer has said, “repentance is not a wringing of the hands or a hanging of the head but a working of the heart until the sin becomes more odious to us than any consequence could be.” 4. Put your sins and idols to death. We are to be ruthless with sin in our life. We are to know that situations which are especially tempting for us and avoid them. We should forecast our day and be aware of when occasions might arise where we are prone to fall and prepare ourselves for them. To treat sin lightly or casually is to make yourself its ongoing victim. 5. Put on those actions and attitudes which are part of a God-pleasing life. It is not enough to stop sinful behaviors. We must also be engaging in the corresponding positive behaviors. For example, if a “love for money” had led us to steal, we must not only stop stealing, but also be generous towards others. (See Eph. 4:25-32) All the above ought to lead one to the conclusion that repentance is far more than saying “I’m sorry!” It can be a slow and painstaking process. However, ultimately it brings life! The second discipline of change: faith (believing the gospel)

The Centrality of the Gospel for Change We do not simply learn the gospel when we are converted and then move on from there. Instead, ongoing change also takes place by the gospel. It is only as we grow in our understanding of the gospel in all its vast implications and applications that we find our lives bearing fruit. We never grow beyond the gospel. The key to continual and deeper spiritual renewal is the continual rediscovery of the never-ending depths of the gospel. What is the Gospel? The gospel is this: “God made Him (Christ), who had no sin to be sin for us, so that in Him we might become the righteousness of God” (2 Cor. 5:21). We are so sinful, lost and helpless, that only the life and death of the Son of God can save us. But it also says that those who believe in His life and death are now “holy in His sight, without blemish and free from accusation” (Col. 1:22,23). Another way of putting the gospel is: you are more sinful and flawed than you ever dared believe yet you are more accepted and loved than you ever dared hope at the same time because Jesus Christ lived and died in your place.

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This acceptance is not merely a new standing with God; it is an indwelling. God does not accept us and yet keep His distance from us. The gospel message is that Christ, by His Spirit, lives in us. He is our constant companion whose power is at work within us. The good news is that we are given the gift of radical acceptance and radical indwelling. This is possible by Christ’s work alone. The Gospel Gives Us New Abilities for Change When the gospel is really understood it manifests itself in three crucial ways: 1. The gospel enables us to repent of our righteousness. While most people are willing to admit and repent of their sins, the Christian is a person who also repents of his/her righteousness. The Christian understands that it is our “good works” as much as our sin which comes between God and ourselves. 2. The gospel enables us to admit the depth of our wickedness. The Christian knows that he or she is far more sinful than he or she is aware of. Because the Christian is confident of Christ’s acceptance, he or she does not have try and cover up how bad things are. This enables the Christian to work on his or her flaws and should also create a unique humility and lack of defensiveness. 3. The gospel ends our attempts at self-salvation. Prior to embracing the gospel, people live without depending upon God and as if they do not need God. This can be done either through irreligion or religion. Irreligious people seek to be their own saviors and lords through irreligion– “worldly pride.” Moral and religious people seek to be their own savior and lords through religion– “religious pride.” The important thing is to see that both religious and irreligious people are seeking to be their own saviors and lords. Both are engaged in projects of self-salvation. Christians are those who have adopted a whole new system of approach to God. They have come to see that their entire reason for both their religion and irreligion was essentially the same and essentially wrong! Christians come to see that both their sins and their best deeds have all really been ways of avoiding Jesus as Savior. The Gospel Gives Us New Motives for Change The central place which God changes us is at the level of the motivations of the heart. A new lifestyle flows from a heart renewed in its love for God (Luke 6:43ff). Significant behavioral change flows from significant motivational change. The following motives should characterize the Christian: 1. Love for Christ. In 2 Corinthians 5:14-15, Paul writes, “For Christ’s love compels us, because we are convinced that one died for all and therefore all died. And He died for all, that those who live should no longer live for themselves but for Him who died for them and was raised again.” The fundamental change which the gospel makes in us is to restore our love and worship of God. It is this new affection for Christ which becomes the wellspring for our obedience. We strive to love the Lord our God with all our heart and soul and strength and mind. We do so not in order to be accepted, but because we have been accepted. Obedience is not the condition for salvation, but the consequence of salvation. 2. Gratitude for grace given. A second motivation the Scriptures offer for obedience is a spirit of gratitude. Thankful for God’s act of saving us, we express our appreciation through a life which is

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pleasing to Him. The Christian life is a joyful response to what God has done for us and what He promises to do for us. We obey God not out of a spirit of fear, but out of a spirit of thankfulness. 3. Desiring to grow into what God has already made us. We are to live in keeping with what God has done. To continue to live in sin after we “have been freed from sin and enslaved to God” is completely illogical. If the very purpose of salvation is to make us like Jesus in His humanity, then to live opposite of the way He lived makes no sense. “You were once darkness, but now you are light in the Lord. Live as children of light” (Eph.5:8). 4. Future Hope. We are free to live godly lives in spite of the apparent cost to us when we contemplate the eternal glory that is promised. Dying to self, giving up idols and lusts, is easier in the context of eternity. Sin’s delight is insignificant and fleeting compared to the heavenly joys set before us. 5. The Promise of Coming Judgment. The biblical writers sometimes appeal to the coming judgment as the warrant for our obedience and the change of our character (e.g. 2 Cor. 5:9,10). As a secondary means an appeal to judgment has its place. It can break us out of our complacency and unmask our presumption. Preaching the Gospel to Ourselves If we are to change we must be regularly preaching the gospel to ourselves and believing it. We must be continually showing ourselves, and those we counsel, the depths and greatness of God’s love for them. We need to be regularly preaching these truths to ourselves and living in prayerful dependence upon them. The context for change: the worshipping community

1. The Importance of Worship in the Process of Change Worshipping God enables us to see the beauty of God and the beauty of godliness. When we worship we find that our love for God deepens and the hold that other things have on us loosen. Regularly worshipping God with the larger church, in small groups and on a daily basis as an individual, is indispensable if our lives are to change. 2. The Necessity Of Involvement in the Christian Community The Christian community provides a context where others can remind us of the gospel and give us support for the enduring battle of smashing our idols and becoming followers of Christ with undivided hearts. It also provides a context in which our sin and idolatry can be exposed and where others can “speak the truth in love” to us. In fact, the quality of one’s relationships within the Christian community is a key indicator of a person’s spiritual maturity. The progress of change

The Christian life is described by J.I. Packer as “a long convalescence, easily disrupted.” People who are keen observers of their own lives and the lives of others will find that to be a realistic, accurate assessment. We are not encouraged to expect quick fixes. Though God will occasionally deliver us immediately from a habit which has vexed us for years, we can expect a lifelong battle in which change takes place incrementally.

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ADDITIONAL READING Powlison, David, “How Shall we Cure our Troubled Souls?” in The Coming Evangelical Crisis, edited by John H. Armstrong. Moody Press, 1996 ______ . “Idols of the Heart and ‘Vanity Fair.’” The Journal of Biblical Counseling 13, No. 2 (Winter 1995). Keller, Timothy J., School of Servant Leadership: Part I: The Gospel and the Heart, PCC Presbyterian Church, 1996.

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Appendix 7: HFLA Service Rep In Los Angeles, there are many needs and therefore so many opportunities to serve; the challenge is connecting your group with an opportunity that works for them – one that works for their schedule and one that much of the group can feel connected to. Serving as a group takes some coordination, and we do not want this to fall to the CG leader. Therefore we suggest choosing a “Service Rep” for your group to coordinate a service opportunity for your group to do together. Here is what a Service Rep does:

1. Have a conversation with the group to gage the interest of what activities/schedule the group is able to do. Your group can attend a preexisting Hope for LA service event* or you can coordinate something for your group to do on its own.

2. If you choose something on your own, you can use the Group Opportunities list* OR look for opportunities through organizations in your neighborhood – your CG coach and Hope for LA can help as much as needed.

3. Once you decide what your group would like to do, contact the organization to set up time to serve and confirm the activity. You might want to try and get a couple potential dates from the organization and then go back to your group to confirm. (If your group decides to join a preexisting HFLA service opportunity, instead of contacting the organization, contact the HFLA leader in charge of that opportunity. Confirm the date, time, and number of people you will be bringing.)

4. Before your group serves, assign individual responsibilities as needed.

5. The week of the service event, confirm with the organization that you’ll be coming and double-check any last minute details. (It’s good to ask about parking, getting into the building, who your main contact will be, etc.).

6. Email the group to send out final details and ask for RSVP/commitment so you know who is coming. (Note: often the whole group will not be able to make it so don’t count on people unless they tell you they’re coming).

7. After you serve together, we would encourage you to have some sort of debrief/talking time as a group about your time serving – this could happen right after the event or at your next CG meeting.

8. Email Hope for LA about your time serving and get reimbursed if needed. (HFLA has money available to reimburse expenses for CG’s that serve – we want you to serve!) We encourage your group to serve 6 times a year together. Two of these times are already planned by Hope for LA – Serve the City and Boxes of Love – so essentially, the Service Rep would plan four additional times to serve. It could be on a weekend or during the 5th week of your regularly scheduled CG meeting each month. This is also a great opportunity to join forces with another CG in your area and serve together.

When serving: BE FLEXIBLE!!!, have fun, love the people you’re serving, learn from them, enjoy being together as a group. Also know that you can go back - it’s actually preferred if you go back to continue building a relationship with this organization. Have Questions? Email [email protected]

*For Group Opportunities List click on link on bottom of www.hopeforla.org/volunteer

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Appendix 8: Troubleshooting Common Problems There are a number of problems or difficult situations which arise with great regularity in Community Groups. These can cause some degree of anxiety for the leader as well as many of the members. Below are listed the most common troubles which arise and some suggestions for how to deal with them. The person who dominates the discussion This most common way to deal with this person is to say, “Jeff has been saying a number of helpful things. Does someone else have something to add?” or “We have heard a lot from some people on the previous questions. Can we hear from some of the others of you on this next question?” If the person is regularly giving long-winded answers to questions, the leader may need to jump in when the person takes a breath and simply ask, “Does anyone else have something to add?” You might also try to avoid eye contact. If the person does not seem to get the hint that they are occupying more than their fair share of the time, you may need to address them privately along these lines: “I really do appreciate your enthusiasm and willingness to share your insights. However, something which you might not be aware of is that the frequency of your speaking and the length of your responses has a potentially stifling effect on other people sharing. I am sure you don’t mean for that to happen, but I am afraid that it sometimes does.” Having said that you might ask the person, “What is your reaction to what I have said?” This gives you and the individual a chance to interact. One other way to deal with this and many other kinds of potential problems is to have periodic evaluations of the group. At such an evaluation you might ask the group as a whole, “What do you think about the balance of participation in the group? Is there anything which is stifling participation in the group? Is there anything which if it were changed would facilitate greater participation from the group as a whole?” Though this may strike you as fairly risky, it has a great number of benefits. It provides opportunities for the truth to be spoken in love and it allows for the community to solve its problems together rather than relying on one individual to do all the work. It can often bring great healing in the group and bring it to new levels of honesty and maturity. The person who says something that is heretical There will undoubtedly be many times when someone gives an answer to a question that is absolutely incorrect and which may even qualify as heresy. What ought you to do? First of all, avoid your initial impulse to correct the person. It is likely that the person does not realize that he or she is saying something which is out of accord with Christian doctrine. If you are too quick to correct the person you may well end up stifling his or her future impulses to participate in the group. That would be disastrous. The group needs to remain a safe place for people to share. It needs to be a place where people are free to make mistakes. Second, remember that groups tend to self-correct the heresy which arises within them. Usually you can just say, “Thanks for sharing. Does anyone else have a different opinion or something else to add?” Generally, the more mature members of the group will provide insights which are more in keeping with the truth of the Scripture. By affirming the insights of the more mature believers, the individual who made the heretical comment and others who might have been swayed by them will come to see the comment was off-target. It will then be unnecessary to confront them directly.

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However, if you don’t think the statement has been countered adequately and that significant confusion remains then you might feel compelled to say, “I appreciate what all of you have shared. However, I think what the Bible says about this is...” Finally, if someone shares something that just cannot be supported by the text under consideration it is often quite appropriate to point the group back to the text and ask, “Just how do you see your point arising from the text? Is that really what it says?” The only caution before proceeding in this manner is to make sure that the mistake is serious enough to warrant it. Assuming that the people in your group are attending a worship service in which they are getting good teaching you might decide that such an approach would do more harm than good. A person who rarely participates The first thing to determine is whether the questions you are asking are sufficiently open-ended so that they encourage sharing. Some kinds of questions can stifle participation. Assuming the questions you are asking encourage participation, you might just need to let the group know that the responses that have been given to the question don’t exhaust everything that can be said. By simply asking frequently, “Does anyone else have something to add?” you might solve the silence problem. If that doesn’t work and the problem of quietness is widespread you could say to the group at large, “We are mostly hearing from just a few people. We would really love to hear from everyone. All of you are valuable to the group and I am sure that you have insights that the rest of us can benefit from. We need to hear what you have to say.” If the problem is just with one person, you might want to say something similar to them in private. Let them know that you are glad they are part of the group even if they choose to rarely share, but that you are sure the group would benefit from what they thought. Realize, of course, that some people are just more quiet by nature and that some only share when they are convinced that their thoughts would contribute to the furtherance of the discussion. What you should AVOID doing is putting a person on the spot by calling on them by name. They may truly not have anything to say about the particular question under consideration and you will only succeed in embarrassing them. They may choose to stay away from the group in the future. A particularly troubled person drains all of the life out of the group How you handle this situation depends on the particular person in question. Usually, you will have to approach the person and address the behaviors which are disrupting the group. This will take both courage and tact and will often require firmness as well. But you should not avoid it. We have a responsibility to one another. If a person lacks social skills or is behaving in a socially inappropriate manner it is important to help them. Speaking the truth in love requires leaders and members to confront dysfunctional group behavior, even though it may make you uncomfortable to do so. It is suggested that you seek insight from other group members and your Coach as to how to handle difficult people. On some occasions, you will need to help the person seek out another group which would be better for them. The group keeps going off on tangents The first thing you will need to decide is whether the tangent is valuable enough to pursue or whether it qualifies as unhelpful. When the tangents are in the latter category just remind the group that you have limited time and that you think the group will be best served by sticking to the text. You might say, “That really is an interesting question and those who are interested in it can pursue

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it if they like after we close. In the meantime I think we would benefit most if we stuck to the passage at hand.” At other times you might just say, “We seem to be getting off on a tangent again. Let’s stick to the passage at hand. Then ask a question which turns people’s attention back to the text. It is up to the leader to keep the group on track. Someone asks a major question just as you run out of time You will probably be best served by saying, “That is an important question but if we try to get into it now we won’t be able to do it justice. I would be glad to get together with you either after the group or at another time to talk to you about it. Or if the group would like to we can take up the question at another meeting.” The group is overly intellectual, not heart-felt It is very easy for groups to use the Bible as foil which prevents them from really interacting with one another. Groups can often get stuck on the “Looking at the Bible” section. Make sure to spend time with the questions that involve “Looking at Our Hearts.” These help people take the truths from the sermon and the text and think about them in the context of their own lives. NOTE: The group often follows the leader in this. Be prepared and willing to talk about ways the Bible interacts with your life. When your group hears you do it, it will make it easier and safer to do it themselves. Prayer requests are too far removed from the genuine needs of people’s lives As with many of these issues, the most important thing you can do is to be honest and forthright about the problem. You should point out to the group its patterns of behavior. You will need to call the group to vulnerability about their own needs. You might say, “It is certainly a good thing to be praying for the needs of people outside this group for whom we have concerns, but let’s make sure we do not do so at the expense of praying for character issues and difficulties which we are facing in our own lives. We need to be engaged in the mutual ministry of praying for one another’s needs.” If group members do not get to the place of being able to talk about the difficulties which they are facing, the unwillingness to deal with reality will eventually create boredom and frustration in the group. This is when it is important for leaders to lead with vulnerability. A group will only go as deep and be as vulnerable as its leader. See Chapter 7 on Prayer for more ideas. People are longwinded in their prayer requests and the prayer time becomes too long If you are going to pray together with the entire group, ask people to be concise in their sharing of prayer requests and succinct in their prayers. Your other option is to break up the group into pairs or triads and allow them to share and pray in these groups. With this arrangement, people will have more time to both share and pray. See Chapter 7. A Final Word of Caution

For many of these problems the worst thing you can do is to ignore them and hope they will go away. It is unlikely that they will disappear unless you address them. If you let them go on unaddressed, the members in the group will gradually cease to attend as their dissatisfaction with the group life grows. Your failure to act will lead to the death of the group. Remember your chief job as a leader is to do everything in your power to get the group to function as a healthy community. This will occasionally require you to do things which don’t come natural and which seem unpleasant. But love for God’s people and concern for their well-being ought to serve as sufficient motivation for carrying out a difficult task.

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Following-up on Those Who Fall Through the Cracks

Inevitably, some individuals who have attended your Community Group will stop coming. Our natural inclination is to assume they would not want to be contacted. We believe that they will perceive us as a nag or a bother. We are afraid we will just make them feel guilty. We may also assume that the reason they stopped coming is that they did not find the group beneficial. The first lesson of follow-up is simply this: Make No Assumptions! In years of following people up I have rarely run across someone who was not glad that they had been called. We fear follow-up, but we need not do so. It communicates to people that you care. It communicates that their absence was noticed. Often your calling up is the first indication to them that people in the church actually do care about them as an individual. They are more than part of the masses. It can be a turning point in their relationship with the church and with your Community Group. Even if the individual does not return to your group, they are usually glad that they have been contacted. Ultimately, we should be following people up because we believe that Christian fellowship is essential to living a God-pleasing life. Aware that they may not be benefiting from this means of grace, we should call them out of a sincere desire to see their Christian life flourish. When To Follow Up You may make it your practice of following-up people on any week which they do not show up for the group and have not contacted you beforehand to make you aware that they would be absent. The benefit of this type of procedure is that it doesn't make individuals feel like they have been singled out. You might even announce to the group that this will be your practice. Also by doing follow-up weekly it becomes a normal habit and discipline in your life as a leader. However, this can be a labor intensive practice and for that reason you may decide on a different pattern of follow-up. Instead, you may choose to follow-up anyone who has missed two or three meetings without letting you know that they would be absent. If you follow this route you must discipline yourself to follow through on it. It becomes much easier to procrastinate with this methodology which often then leads to putting it off entirely. If a person's attendance is especially erratic you may also choose to follow them up. If you have procrastinated to the point that it now feels awkward following-up the individual, you should still press on and contact the person. Their needs are to determine your actions, not your embarrassment. How To Follow-Up How does one follow people up? There are three options: Personal interaction, a telephone call, a note. Personal Interaction: This is the preferred means of follow-up. Face to face interaction allows for you to communicate your genuine concern to the person in a complete way. This option should only be taken if you are fairly certain that you will be seeing the person within the week. If you don't see the person on the occasion which you expected to see them, then you should immediately pursue one of the other means of follow- up. What should you say? Probably something like this: "Bill, we missed you at the Community Group meeting this past week. Is everything all right?" If missing the group is a pattern you might say, "We

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have been missing you at the Community Group. We have appreciated what you contributed when you have come and would love to have you there regularly. Is there a reason or reasons why you haven't been attending?" After asking this question it is important not to put words in their mouth. Allow them to answer for themselves. They may have been out of town. They may have been extra-busy at work. There may be some personal problems. They may not feel like they fit in your particular group. They may not feel like they are getting much out of the experience. You need to be able to respond appropriately to whatever reason they might offer. If they have been out of town or busy you might just say, "Well, we have missed you and hope to see you soon. We will next be meeting on __________. Hope to see you there." If some personal issues have prevented them from attending then you will want to provide appropriate pastoral care for them. Perhaps you will want to schedule a time to meet with them. If one of the last two reasons is their actual reason for not attending they will be less likely to disclose this. If you sense that they are disappointed with the group for some reason you may need to give them some help to enable them to tell you. You might ask, "Is there something about the group in particular which has disappointed you? I really would appreciate your feedback if there is. Did you have certain expectations for the group which you feel are not being met?" This must be asked with humility and a genuine openness to hear what they are saying. You should not register your disappointment, but in as much as you are able, affirm the appropriateness of their expectations. Of course, many people bring inappropriate expectations to a group. This becomes a moment where you can pastor them with regards to their expectations ("Yes, I understand your desire to be involved in a group where people are not superficial with one another but share about what is really going on in their heart and life. My hope is that the group gets there. In fact, we are making progress. But that kind of interaction takes time and we still have a ways to go."..."I understand your desire for more doctrinal input in your life. It sure has made a difference in mine. However, Community Groups are not especially good vehicles for transmitting doctrine. The school of discipleship is much better at that and I would certainly encourage you to make a practice of attending those classes. Community Groups, however, are very important for receiving encouragement and support for living the Christian life. That is something which we all need.") There is also the possibility that the person just does not feel like they fit in your particular group. If you sense that they may feel like this is the case you could say, "Perhaps you feel like this particular group isn't quite right for you. I certainly won't be offended if you thought this group might not be the best for you. While we would like to have you with us, it might be that you would fit into another group better and that it would be more beneficial to you. If you are thinking that may be the case, I would be glad to help you find another group." Of course, if it turns out that their schedule doesn't fit with the time your group is meeting then it would also be appropriate to help them find another group which is more accessible to them. Telephone Call: The telephone is another good means for following-up a person. Normally you will follow much the same course as is suggested above. If you get an answering machine you might say, "Hello. This is Bill from the Community Group. We missed you at the group this past week. I'm just calling to make sure all is well and to let you know that our next meeting is _____________. Please give me a call if there is anything I can do for you. Hope to see you at the next meeting. Take care." If you get an

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answering machine and you would like to talk to the person rather than their machine you might say, "Hello. This is Bill from the Community Group. We missed you recently at the group. Hope you are well. Please give me a call when you get a chance. My number is....Take care." Then when they call back you can say, “Thanks for calling back. I just wanted to make sure that everything was O.K. and let you know when our next meeting will take place." This gives you the opportunity to have further interaction with them. If they don't call back you might just leave another message letting them know when the next meeting will take place. A note is a means of following up that is non-threatening and avoids putting the person on the spot. It can be dashed off and does the job of communicating that you care. "We missed you at the Community Group this past week. I hope everything is O.K. Our next meeting is ____________ . Hope to see there. Please feel free to contact me if you want. Sincerely,______________." If you don't get a response after a few weeks then you may want to use more a direct method of following-up. Remember that in this process we are not interested in hounding the person. We cannot control what they will do. We don't want to be coercive. If they decide to stay away, then there is nothing you can do about that. What you can do is communicate that you care about their absence and that you have their needs at interest. Referral of Troubled and Troubling People

Identifying the Troubled and Troubling “Troubling people” are not those who are merely hard to love, or require some extra energy, or are “not your kind of people." The best definition is that “troubling people” are those who dominate the group and overwhelm it, so that they shift the focus of the group to the extent that the group cannot reach its goals, and therefore it ceases to be a worthwhile experience for the majority who attend. They are people who have ongoing critical needs that are beyond the scope of the Community Group leader. For the most part these needs are emotional or psychological in nature. They are destructive to the group. People tend to be driven away from group because of them. We must not lose compassion for these people or treat them as problems to be solved, but instead see them as people in whom God is working but who need more intensive care then most Community Groups are capable or designed to give. Alternative support and care giving systems are required for them. The most compassionate response for both their needs and the health of the group is to refer them to the director of pastoral care. When you refer someone, however, you are not washing your hands of them. Continue to pray for them and guide them into their new supportive community. The Process of Referring the Troubled and Troubling

1. Talk to your Coach to confirm that a person needs to be referred elsewhere. It is important not to wait too long to do this. If you do your group may be unnecessarily harmed.

2. The Coach will call the Director of Pastoral Care and find out what resources are available and which would be best suited to the individual under discussion.

3. The Community Group Leader, either with or without their Coach, will caringly and tactfully invite the individual to avail themselves of these other community resources. Use words such as the following: "Jeff, you've been in the group for a while and I'm not sure that it is a group that is most helpful for you. There are other groups and resources in our church that may be more in line with what you need. I know our Director of Pastoral Care would be happy to

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meet with you and figure out how best our community can care for you. I would be more than willing to sit with you as you meet with him.” If the individual protests you might need to go a bit further. "Right now, because of your own needs, your involvement with the group isn't best for the group either. We think that both for your sake and for the sake of the group that it is important that you take advantage of these other resources our church has." Let the person know that the Director of Pastoral Care will be contacting them.

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Community Group Manual 5.30.15pacificcrossroads.org/wp-content/uploads/2016/09/... · 2016-10-12 · need, and serving our King with our heart, soul, mind and strength. Changed Lives