COACHING MANUAL - sedin-nigeria.net...Questioning the coachees’ general motivation and/or capability to succeed ... from making mistakes Taking coachees’ responsibility for The

[COACHING MANUAL] 1

By Dr. Bianca Jänecke March 2016

COACHING MANUAL

[COACHING MANUAL] 2

Contents

Introduction 3

What is coaching? 3

How is coaching different from training or expert counselling? 3

What are your roles and responsibilities as a coach? 6

What makes a good coachee? 11

What makes a good coach? 11

1. Empathetic and facilitative listening 13

2. Asking questions 15

3. Providing feedback 19

4. Building rapport 20

Coaching concept – The GROW model 22

Coaching cycle 24

Potential pitfalls 26

Coaching session 28

Templates 29

Coaching Questionnaire 29

Coaching Plan 31

Coaching Session Preparation Form (for Coachee) 32

Minutes of Coaching Debriefing Session 33

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Introduction

This Manual aims to inform you about

what coaching is and what makes it different from "training" and "counseling"

your roles and responsibilities as coach

the key skills and competencies required to be a successful coach

the GROW concept as simple tool to structure and implement a coaching process

potential pitfalls in a coaching process and how to avoid them

What is coaching?

Coaching is a type of service that aims to help others to succeed and to "help themselves". In a coaching relationship, the coach and the coachee are equal partners. It is based on the idea that the coachee has all required resources, skills, and experiences to improve their situation and to fix a problem themselves. A coach is a facilitator who helps the coachee to critically reflect upon actions and decisions taken or behaviors demonstrated. He/she guides the coachee to set goals and attain them. As a coach you take the role of a “mirror” or soundboard for your coachee. The coachees themselves are responsible for the results of the coaching process and the attainment of their goal(s). Just as in the original meaning of the word, a coach can help you to get to your destination faster.

How is coaching different from training or expert counselling? Coaching must not be confused with training and counseling, though there are some common characteristics. The chart below helps you to become aware of the differences between "training", "counseling" and "coaching".

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TRAINING COUNSELING COACHING

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Who is

involved?

Trainer and trainees

(participants).

Consultant/advisor and

client (a person or

organization).

Coach and coachee (a

person or a group of

people)

What is the

overall aim?

Transfer of knowledge

and development of skills

and (professional)

competencies.

Problem solving or

prevention

(expert counseling);

Use of synergies;

optimization of individual

or organizational

performance

(process counseling).

"Help to self-help "

Support to self-learning

and self-development;

Improvement of the

coachee's personal

situation; increase of life

satisfaction and quality.

What is the key

question?

What to know, be able to

do and what behavior to

demonstrate after

successful training?

(= competence-based

learning objectives).

What to do to fix a

specific problem (or to

avoid that it will occur)?

(expert counseling);

How to improve/ optimize

a specific situation or

make use of an

opportunity

(process counseling).

How can I improve my

personal (and family's) life

and gain more life

satisfaction and quality?

Who has a

demand for this

type of service?

A person or a group of

people in adult education

Employers if staff training

is a business need

Regulator for professions

that require certification,

e.g. Chartered Accountant

Organizations

(companies, NGOs, state

agencies etc.)

Persons or groups of

people (e.g. when seeking

advice on tax issues or

other legal topics)

A person or a group of

people.

Who sets the

agenda?

Trainer/training provider,

corporate customer, or

third party (e.g. curricula

accreditation body).

Client (natural person or

organization).

Coachee (no one else!)

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TRAINING COUNSELING COACHING

To what extent

does the service

provider need to

be an expert in

the relevant

subject/business

sector?

The trainer has to

demonstrate a profound

knowledge of the content

covered in the training

program/ curriculum.

In expert counseling, the

consultant has to


knowledge of the relevant

sector/area and practical

work experiences from

this and related areas.

In process counseling, the

consultant has to

demonstrate good cross-

cutting knowledge of

different (related) areas

and profound facilitation

skills.

The coach has to


knowledge of coaching

concepts and techniques

and practical skills in

facilitating others.

Furthermore, it is

beneficial to have

personal experience in

the working or business

area of the coachee.

Who is the

"owner" of the

process?

Trainer/training provider

(in adult learning trainees

also have a say).

Consultant and client

together.

Coach and coachee

together.

How is it being

implemented?

Usually within the

framework of clearly

defined standards and

formats (in formal

education).

Depending on the goal

and type of the

consultancy, quite open,

in diverse formats,

according to sector-based

standards and rules of

good governance.

Depending on the goal

and type of the coaching

agreement, quite open, in

diverse formats and

according to professional

ethics of coaches (e.g.

"do-no-harm approach").

Who determines

the pace of

progress?

In conventional training:

trainer/training provider;

In modular training:

trainees also have a say.

Client Coachee

Who assesses

the attainment

of the goal?

Trainer, examination

board, employers and/or

certification body.

Client Coachee

What role does

autonomous

and continuous

learning play?

May vary, depending on

the format of training -

from "little" (conventional

classroom training) to

"large" (e.g. e-learning or

distant learning).

May vary, depending on

the organizational culture

and people's intent - from

"little" (expert counseling)

to "large" (process

counseling).

Cannot be overestimated!

Coaching can only

succeed if the coachee is

willing and able to

continuously learn and

grow.

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What are your roles and responsibilities as a coach?

As coach you are expected to fulfill

different roles.

The coachee expects you to have a good

understanding of their living

environment and the challenges they

are facing and that you know how to

best manage these challenges (role of

an expert consultant).

The coachee also expects you to

energize and motivate them, to give

encouraging feedback and provide

moral support when they encounter

obstacles (role of a mentor/ advisor).

However, the most important role you

are expected to take is the "person of

trust". A coaching process always

requires a trustful relationship between

the coach and the coachee. The coachee needs to be ready to trust you and share their personal

issues and problems with you. Like a medical doctor or lawyer you are obliged to keep silence about

any information you receive from your coachee and to guarantee full confidentiality.

Your roles and responsibilities as coach1

1 See: Peters T.; Austin N.: A Passion for Excellence – The Leadership Difference. N.Y. 1985

1 Inform, instruct, explain and demonstrate

2 Promote, support, encourage and activate

4 Be accessible if required, discuss problems and

provide advice

5 Trust, confront and challenge

3 Intensive face-to-

face coaching

during preparation

and follow-up

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How What it is not What are the results What coaching skills and personal qualities are

required

1. Inform, instruct, explain and demonstrate

Be positive, constructive and supportive Carefully plan the learning and training process Help the coachee set clear, transparent and consistent

goals and expectations Set an authentic learning environment (learning

partnerships, low-risk projects for experience-based learning)

Provide constructive, specific, authentic and timely feedback

Provide information and access to information Stress the difference between a “good performance” and

an “excellent performance” – give examples Spend enough time in direct contact with your coachees Demand flexibility and explain the role of rules (how

strictly to stick to them)

Doing it yourself if the first results don’t meet the standards/your expectations

Questioning the coachees’ general motivation and/or capability to succeed

New knowledge and skills are acquired

Coachees are ready to take risks and general trust has grown

The coachees’ common understanding of their situation, their business, their roles and responsibilities as family and community members has increased

Narrow-mindedness has been overcome

Clear communication (setting of indicators for measurement of goal attainment and expectations)

Be a good role model with regard to self-education, professional development and compliance with laws and regulations

Knowledge of principles of adult learning, psychology and didactics

Knowledge of the concept of lifelong learning

Patience, tolerance and respect

2. Promote, support, encourage and activate

Be positive and enthusiastic Stress the long-term perspective of people’s growth and

development Focus on the future (and future perspectives) Work on details Treat coachees as peers Look for learning and experience opportunities for

coachees Clearly communicate (and “live”) the respective values

and code of conduct ("walk what you talk"2)

Making coachees dependent on you – no patronizing!

Misusing promotion to take more control over them

Preventing coachees from making mistakes

Taking coachees’ responsibility for

The coachees

Have become a role model for good financial decisions and management skills

Have broadened their horizon

Have personally grown Actively share their

Reduce barriers to active information and experience share

Create and maintain a supportive working and learning climate in the community (association)

Reduce/give up direct control

Provide information and

2 For example, before talking about good business practices and rules of good governance to your coachee you should ensure that you formalized (registered) your own business (if any).

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required Provide coachees with regular and detailed feedback

about their goals, expectations and progress Do everything to let your coachees succeed! Their

success is your success as coach!

decision-making and doing

Promoting only people who are ticking like you

Provoking conflicts in the group/ community to let coachees “compete” for your promotion

knowledge and experiences within their families and communities.

feedback in a timely, proactive manner

3. Coach and train

Be supportive and enthusiastic Prepare for new challenges and tasks Challenge coachees to do the utmost Be a good role model – address high demands to yourself Argue your position, explain to coachees why changes

are needed and what are the potential benefits of change for their community and them personally

Give reasons for decisions, procedures etc. Help coachees reflect about their ideas and concerns,

argue their positions etc. before discussing them with other stakeholders

Let coachees make their own decisions Offer support and advice – but don’t patronize them Demonstrate empathy, show that you can understand

their position/concerns Provide coachees with honest, authentic and

constructive feedback Listen carefully and ask (open-ended) questions Set clear deadlines and milestones, be clear about

monitoring activities

Taking the position of a “Critical Parent”

Taking the position of a “Nurturing Parent”

Doing the coachees’ job

Lecturing and pontificating about “how things should be (or should have been) done”

Strong trust in the coach has been built

Newly knowledge and skills are acquired

Coached people show better business performance

Coached people have a higher life satisfaction

Coached people demonstrate a stronger team spirit and interest in community issues

Demonstrate sophisticated communication skills (active listening and question techniques)

Provide authentic and honest feedback

Treat coachees with respect and acknowledge their progress

Be part of them (learn from each other)

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required Be accessible for your coachees Acknowledge success (progress) and celebrate it together

with your coachees Spend enough time with them and like doing so, Love

what you do!

4. Be accessible if required, discuss problems, provide advice

Be positive, supportive, encouraging, structured and disciplined

Focus on the solution, rather than on the problem Ensure a balanced and objective discussion (weighing pros

and cons) Be accessible for the coaches, respond quickly, offer your

help if you see they are facing difficulties or trouble Plan enough time and a quiet place for the conversation Start conversation with a short purpose-benefit

statement, then let the coachees talk and listen carefully Try to identify your role and mistakes that led to the

problem Activate to look for solutions by asking process-oriented

questions Stress that you accept the coachee’s personality, and you

don’t question them, you just address the problems Assure the coachees of your support Show possible consequences if the problem is not solved Jointly develop an action plan and agree about follow-up

conversation (for reviewing results and monitoring progress)

Ensure the coachees are committed to fulfill their action plans.

Not a lab for psychological experiments

Not a snapshot Not a punishment Not a lecture about

“how things should be handled”

Not an appraisal or performance review meeting

Strong trust Coached people's self-

confidence and readiness to take initiative and responsibility have been increased


Take the role of a facilitator (whose main responsibility is for the quality and target-orientation of the process, not the outcome itself!)

Lead your coachees through the problem-solving process; don’t “push” them towards your solution

Be committed, respect and accept their feelings and concerns

Ensure confidentiality Be interested in hearing

coachees’ views – not in “selling” your position

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required

5. Trust, challenge and confront

Be positive and supportive Be precise, specific, confident, calm, persistent, but fair Check your role as a coach with regard to the specific

problems with specific coachees (Did some of your decisions, actions or statements provoke the situation? What could you have done differently?)

Focus on the decision to make Don’t attack the coachee, don’t step into heated

discussions, don’t blame them Tell about your observations and concerns Confront the coachee with the consequences of their

behavior (non-compliance) Avoid surprise: if you confront a person, you should have

addressed the issue beforehand in a softer way Focus on the most important points Keep eye contact Show positive perspectives and potential for further

development

Not a general reckoning with a disagreeable coachee.

Disruptive people who participated in the coaching have changed their behavior.

They stopped negatively influencing others.


Provide direct, but constructive feedback

Discuss to the point Control your emotions and

keep calm


What makes a good coachee?

The coachee has a large responsibility for the success of the overall process and to ensure that the coaching process will result in the expected outcomes. A good coaching process depends on the willingness of the coachee to change. A good coachee: takes responsibility and ownership and invests

energy to support his/her own development is proactive in managing the coaching

relationship actively seeks feedback is open to new ideas and advice can accept both positive and negative feedback is willing to take risks or try something different can articulate feelings and thoughts honestly is willing to express feelings and thoughts is committed to following action plans

What makes a good coach?

As you could see from the chart above, there is a set of key skills and competencies all good coaches need to be strong at. The basics of these skills can be learned but they can only be further developed if practiced and reflected. To be a good coach requires a specific knowledge and mindset. Effective coaches should be proficient in the relevant areas of knowledge, and have good communication and people skills.

KNOWLEDGE As coach you need to understand the challenges your coachees are facing. This requires familiarity with both the regional cultural context (community) and the business context. So, if a coachee is operating a farm business, the coach should have some experience with the agric sector and the regional (local) culture of the coachee.

COMMUNICATION Good coaches need the process skills and conceptual models to be able to help their coachees to develop and reach their goals. They need to be skilled listeners and speakers who can ask the right questions and provide the right input at the right time (see description of required soft skills below). They must also be able to adapt their process and communication styles according to their coachees’ cultural and personal expectations.

PEOPLE Coaches need to be motivated by a desire to help people to develop. They have to demonstrate a genuine interest in other people's views and plans. They also need a working knowledge of psychological concepts. However, the real challenge is to manage the coaching relationship appropriately according to the context. A 40-years old farmer in Niger State may have very different support needs (and thus require a very different approach) from a young 20-years old start-up entrepreneur in Lagos.

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COULD YOU BE A GOOD COACH?3 Score yourself on each statement below. Note that some statements relate to a specific coachee, so think of a particular person you know. If you score more than 70, you may have the potential to be a coach.

Score Strongly

agree

Strongly

disagree

KNOWLEDGE

I understand the key issues that can affect the

efficiency of my coachee's business.

5 4 3 2 1

I am skilled in techniques that profile culture- and

gender-sensitive competence.

5 4 3 2 1

I have relevant experiences in my coachee's business

to share insights with them.

5 4 3 2 1

I have sufficient knowledge of the specific market

context of my coachee.

5 4 3 2 1

I have some familiarity with the tools, techniques

and procedures my coachee is using at work.

5 4 3 2 1

COMMUNICATION

I can structure a coaching process from setting

objectives to action planning, review and evaluation.

5 4 3 2 1

I have a range of techniques to facilitate my

coachee's personal reflection, for setting and

attaining goals.

5 4 3 2 1

I am more interested in listening than talking. 5 4 3 2 1

I can ask questions that stimulate people to have

insights.

5 4 3 2 1

I listen in a way that encourages others to open up. 5 4 3 2 1

I am able to give relevant feedback in the right way

at the right time.

5 4 3 2 1

PEOPLE

I have a strong interest in helping people to develop. 5 4 3 2 1

I have the necessary intuition4 to understand and

“read” people.

5 4 3 2 1

I can build the necessary trust for the coaching

relationship in a variety of contexts.

5 4 3 2 1

I have the personality to inspire readiness to change,

using a range of styles.

5 4 3 2 1

I am a good behavioral role model for my own

advice (I walk what I talk).

5 4 3 2 1

I have the political sensitiveness to facilitate

relations between the coachee and his/her family

and community.

5 4 3 2 1

3 Based on: Business Spotlight No. 3 May-June 2007, pp. 66-72

4 Using intuition is equally important as listening and questioning skills. It also plays a key role in establishing rapport. The

definition of "intuition" is "immediate insight or understanding without conscious reasoning" (see Webster dictionary).


ESSENTIAL SOFT SKILLS You need to develop essential soft skills in order to succeed as coach. You need to be able to

1. Listen in an empathetic and facilitative way

2. Ask good questions

3. Set goals and facilitate their attainment

4. Provide constructive and encouraging feedback, and

5. Build rapport and demonstrate empathy.

1. Empathetic and facilitative listening

Of all the communications skills, listening is arguably the one which makes the biggest difference. The most brilliant and effective speaker ultimately comes undone if they fail to listen properly. Listening does not come naturally to most people, so we need to work hard at it; to stop ourselves 'jumping in' and giving our opinions. This is ironic since we all like to be listened to and understood, to feel affirmed and valued. Covey5 says 'Seek first to understand, and then to be understood'. In a coaching process, listening is a basic skill without which you will not be able to succeed. You need to put your own concerns, ideas and views aside and give the coachee your undivided attention. By truly listening you will be able to form questions that support the coachee's thinking process. As you can see from the table below, a coach to be successful in their work needs to "climb" the highest levels of the "listening skills ladder"6: they need to go beyond active listening and be strong at empathetic and facilitative listening.

Passive Listening or Not Listening You ignore the conversation. You are not concentrating on the sounds and nothing is registering with you. The communication is like noise in the background. Pretend Listening You are daydreaming or being distracted even though you occasionally nod or agree using 'stock' safe replies. The speaker will see that glazed look in your eyes and say firmly something like, "Will you please listen to me. I'm talking to you!" Biased Listening You are listening and taking in certain information but what you hear cannot influence your attitude and level of knowledge and understanding because you already have different views or a resistance to the speaker. You are projecting your position onto the speaker and the words. You would do this typically because you are under pressure or very defensive. Misunderstood Listening You have an interest and perhaps some flexibility in respect of the words spoken and your reactions to them, but you make the words fit what you expect or want. This is a type of biased listening but you are usually not aware that you are doing it until it is pointed out to

5 Stephen R. Covey: The 7 habits of highly effective people: Powerful lessons in personal change.

6 ibid.

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you. This is a type of listening that is prone to big risks because if you are not made aware of your failings you will leave the discussion under a very wrong impression of the facts and the feelings of the other person. Attentive 'Data-Only' Listening You listen only to the content, and fail to receive all the non-verbal sounds and signals, such as tone of voice, facial expression; reaction of speaker to your own listening and reactions. This is a common form of listening among 'push and persuade' sales people. It can be highly manipulative and forceful. This type of listening wins battles and loses wars, i.e. it can achieve short-term gains but is less likely to build a constructive and sustainable relationship. Active Listening You listen to words and intonation, observe body language and facial expressions, and give feedback. However, you are not sympathetic or identify with the other person’s feelings and emotional needs. This can be due to the listener being limited by compliance standards or rules of conduct, or by personal insecurity, selfishness, or emotional immaturity. Empathetic Listening You are listening with full attention to the sounds, and all other relevant signals, including tone of voice, other verbal aspects (pace, volume, breathlessness, flow), facial expression, body language, and cultural or ethnic (or other aspects of the person which would affect the way their communications and signals are affecting you). You are able to see and feel the situation from the other person's position. You are also reacting and giving feedback and checking understanding with the speaker. You summarise and probably take notes and agree with the speaker on the notes if it is an important discussion. You will be honest in expressing disagreement but at the same time expressing genuine understanding and keep emotions under control even for very difficult discussions. It will also be possible to improve the relationship and mutual awareness through the conversation. Facilitative Listening You are able to extend an especially helpful approach to the other person or people. You are also able to interpret the self-awareness of the speaker, and the extent to which you are hearing and observing genuine 'adult' sounds and signals as distinct from emotionally skewed outputs, and to weigh the consequences of the other person's behaviour even if the other person cannot. . In this respect you are acting rather like a protector or guardian, in the event that the other person is not being true to themselves. This does not mean that you are making decisions or recommendations for the other person - it means you are exercising caution on their behalf, which is vital if you are in a position of responsibility or influence.

Empathetic and facilitative listening will enable you to show that you are genuinely interested in the other person and what they have to say, and that you sincerely want to help them to succeed. It also allows you to give reasoned and constructive feedback during the coaching process. When practicing empathetic and facilitative listening skills, your coachee will feel that their views and ideas are really valued. It will encourage them to seek for solutions to problems, generate new ideas and reflect about their decisions and actions in order to attain the goals set.


2. Asking questions

The most effective way to elicit the coachee's ideas of how to address a challenge facing them is to ask the right questions. Developing the ability to ask questions that draw out the information you need to facilitate your coachee's understanding of a topic and thus help them to find a solution is crucial to your success. As coach you need to use questions to "zoom" in particular aspects of a problem or issue that you want to encourage the coachee to explore in detail. This exploration provides the coachee with the opportunity and time to delve into options, processes, practices, commonly held views, and ideas that in the normal course of event they would ignore. Asking the right questions can help the coachee to consider potential problems that might result from a particular decision or action. It requires some experience to know when to use what type of question and how to formulate it to maximize your effectiveness. The different types of questions are presented in the chart below.

Types of questions to ask

Characteristics Example

Open questions Are commonly used to encourage the coachee to speak so that you can gather the necessary information. They often start with "why", "where", "when", "which" and "how". They work best when the conversation is already flowing freely.

How do your children feel about taking care of you and your wife when you grow old?

What is likely to happen after you decided to temporarily stop your monthly loan repayment?

If your savings are not enough to compensate for post-harvest loss, what would be the consequences for you and your family?

Reflective questions Reflects back to the coachee what they have just said using their exact words to fully explore the coachee's knowledge and awareness of a situation. These questions also provide the coachee with an opportunity to express their feelings at that particular time without you having to interpret in your question why this happened. Using reflective questions means that you can avoid having to express an interpretation or judgment.

Coachee: "I feel really frustrated that I missed this unique chance!"

Coach: "And what makes you think that this was a unique chance?"

Coachee: "My elder brother called me a fool because I didn't invest any money in this venture."

Coach: "What did you think when he tried to persuade you invest your money in this venture?"

Why ask questions?

To raise awareness To focus attention To elicit new ideas To encourage analysis,

exploration and reflection To challenge the coachees’

views and make them leave their personal comfort zone

To foster commitment and a sense of ownership towards achieving their goals

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Characteristics Example Hypothetical questions Hypothetical questions allow you to gauge how the coachee might act in, or what they think about a situation. They are effective in getting the coachee to think about, and discuss insights, new ideas or approaches to a problem.

What would you do if you won ... NGN in a lottery?

What would happen if the price of seeds went up dramatically?

What do you think about people who fall victim to financial fraudsters? Is that their fault?

Control questions Control questions are also called rephrasing questions. They are one of the best means of checking your understanding of what the coachee has said. By using the coachee's words and rephrasing them you aim to confirm that you correctly understood the coachee.

Coachee: "I can't decide on this unless I get the approval of my husband."

Coach: "I'm hearing you say that you could decide on this if your husband agrees with your suggestion/idea. Do I understand this correctly?"

Probing questions Can be used to clarify something that has already been said or to uncover details that may have initially been overlooked or considered irrelevant. Many of these questions are helpful in creating rapport but take care not to overuse them as this can make the coachee feel as if they are being interrogated or even attacked. Make sure your verbal and non-verbal signs are neutral or supportive when asking such questions.

Why do you think they tried to cheat you? Could you give some examples? Is there any other option for rescheduling

loan repayment that you have not yet considered?

How have you managed to put up with purchasing your supplies to date?

What do you worry most about in this situation?

What are your concerns about this decision of the bank?

Closed questions Require the coachee to give a "yes" or "no" answer. You should avoid such questions because they tend to make any conversation feel awkward and one-sided.

Have you discussed this in your family (community)?

Have you ever faced challenges with paying back loans?

Did this additional job allow you to gain enough money to make ends meet?

Is this situation typical of your business?

Guiding questions Guiding (or leading) questions need to be used with particular care because they imply that there is a correct answer to the question, which is something that contradicts the concept of coaching. They are useful in situations where you require a desired answer or to influence the coachee's thinking. In coaching, you need to ensure that you don't unconsciously ask leading questions.

So wouldn't it have been better for you to buy treasury bills instead of shares?

Don't you think you should have asked the bank officer about this before signing the loan contract?

Don't you think it would be a good idea to take out an educational insurance policy for your children?


Questions to ask in the coaching process

Questions to uncover details of the situation

Can you tell me more about what is going

on? What is your major concern about this?

What have you tried so far?

What obstacles are you facing?

What is your biggest worry or what is the

worst thing that could happen?

How much control do you feel you have over

this situation?

Who else (family or community members or

business partners) will be affected by your

decision?

What is the real issue here/the bottom line

for you?

How would you describe this situation to a

friend?

Questions to expand options

If you were completely successful in handling

this, what would things look like?

What would be the best possible outcome?

What have you tried in the past that

worked? What elements can you apply here?

What past experience(s) can you draw on

here?

What are all the possible ways you could

approach this?

What if you had more time, money, or

control? What would you do?

If you could start over, what would you do

differently?

Can you describe the options as you see

them?

What do you see as the pluses and minuses

of each?

Which would give you the best result?

Which appeals to you most, or feels the

best?

I have a couple of thoughts. Would you be

interested in hearing them?

What do you think about this approach?

Six months from now, what do you want to

be able to say about this situation? What will

help you get there?

What is the craziest thing you could do to fix

this situation?

Questions to focus on action

Given all we have talked about, what do you

think you should do?

Which approach do you think will work best?

What actions are you going to take? What is

your first step?

How will you handle the obstacles we

discussed (name them)?

What do you need to make this plan work?

What support do you need and from whom?

How will you get it?

How committed do you feel to taking this

approach?

How confident do you feel that you are

doing the right thing?

What would increase your confidence?

Whom do you trust to reality test this plan?

Questions to manage cultural issues7

Culture may be seen as something that already exists; yet, it can also be thought of as something

that we create in order to communicate effectively. The following questions will help you to develop

your own coaching culture for each coachee.

7 Based on: Business Spotlight No. 3 May-June 2007, pp. 66-72


It takes some time and practical experience as coach to feel confident with selecting the right type of questions and phrasing in a way that will help the coachees in attaining their goal. Keep in mind the most common mistake inexperienced coaches tend to make when asking questions:

they ask too many leading or closed questions (thus - consciously or unconsciously - manipulating the coachees' views and ideas).

they also tend to ask questions that reflect their own knowledge and experience rather than searching out that of the coachee.

they may fail to ask enough probing questions to follow up issues raised. Some styles of questioning used by coaches can imply their own views, give advice or be

judgmental which will hinder to achieve the coaching objective. If the question you ask does not result in a positive step forward, you must ask yourself why not. This will enable you to develop your questioning skills and enhance your performance as coach:

Was this type of question appropriate? Did I ask it in the wrong way? Could the words I used be misinterpreted?


3. Providing feedback

Providing regular feedback to the coachee as regards their views, insights, plans and actions is the most powerful coaching tool you have. The coach takes the role of a "mirror" (or "soundboard") for the coachee: they reflect back what the coachee is thinking or doing thus helping them to become aware of their behavioral patterns and habits and help them to generate ideas on how to improve the situation. The key to delivering effective coaching feedback is that it is observational and non-judgmental. As coach you must be able to provide clear, specific feedback about the coachee's actions and their consequences, so that the coachee can evaluate their own behavior or performance.

Why is giving feedback important?

Feedback provides a basis for maintaining or improving performance and behavior.

It gives a forum for assessing needs and planning additional experiences. When should feedback be given?

Most useful immediately following the experience (observed behavior) Process established during orientation Brief, in-route encounters

What is effective feedback?

It is specific and performance-/behavior-based Descriptive, not labeling. Focuses on the behavior, not the person. Based on (repeated) observable behavior, not on assumed motives or

intents. Begins with "I" statements. Balances negative and positive comments. Well-timed. Anchored to common goals (for example, the coachee’s attitude towards

borrowing and debt). Provides for two-way communication, soliciting, and considering the

coachee’s input. Brief (be alert to signs of resistance!). Based on trust, honesty, and concern. Private, particularly if it is negative. Part of the coaching process, not an exception to the norm. Provides for follow-up.

Not every feedback is constructive. People commonly give corrective feedback. Your task as a coach is to develop the skills of giving developmental feedback that will help the coachee to grow.

Developmental feedback Corrective feedback 1. Focuses on the coachee’s strength. 1. Focuses on the coachee’s weaknesses. 2. Helps the coachee to identify space for

further personal and professional growth. 2. Addresses the coachee’s mistakes to correct

and attitudes to change. The coachee is being blamed.

3. Is encouraging and motivating. 3. Discouraging 4. Is neutral, non-judgmental. 4. Judgmental 5. Uses open-ended questions to guide the

coachee to gain insights and make personal conclusions.

5. Uses statements to demonstrate the coachee’s deficits and mistakes.

6. The coachee is respected as a partner. 6. The coachee is seen as an object that needs education.

7. Uses “I”-messages. 7. Uses “You”-messages.


Guidelines for giving critical feedback If you need to give critical feedback, use the Stage Fright model. Introduction

1. Build rapport and attract attention. Start with some positive feedback. People will accept negative feedback far more easily if you have already said something positive about their behavior. This is because having accepted the positive statement their innate sense of fairness encourages them to give equal weighing to the negative one. If you give the negative feedback first, they may reject it along with any subsequent positive comments.

Core Message

2. Share observations about behavior demonstrated in specific attitudes. Do not criticize the coachee: make the comment specific to the behavior they exhibited and the situation in which it occurred. You could ask if they are aware of how others reacted to their behavior. If you blame the coachee, all they can do is defending themselves.

3. Give examples/evidence. 4. Show potential consequences of observed behavior. 5. Explain how the situation could be handled differently in future. You can only give feedback on

past events but try to keep the focus on finding new options for the future. 6. State potential benefits from handling the situation differently. This way you can keep the

atmosphere of the conversation positive and avoid evolvement of any resentment towards the coaching process.

Closing

7. Stress that you believe in the coachee’s capacity to change behavior and develop further.

4. Building rapport

In the coaching relationship, your aim as coach is to create a level of rapport that lets the coachee feel confident to talk honestly about their challenges, decisions, or actions in a particular area. However, this does not mean that you need to have friendly relationships with the coachee. On the contrary, friendly relationships may hinder you to be objective in your judgments and make you avoid challenging the coachee when required. In a coaching meeting, after an initial greeting, open the conversation with a remark that makes the coachee feel comfortable. Let them know that you are genuinely interested in their person and what they have to say. Then follow with a question that leads the conversation to the coaching topic (see "Setting goals and facilitating their attainment").

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The term rapport refers to the ability to build close and harmonious relationships with others. It is affected by how connected the participants of a conversation feel. If you have good rapport with someone, you feel comfortable and relaxed in each other's company to the extent that you can talk frankly and openly without feeling neither ashamed nor defensive.


Remember to listen well and demonstrate your interest in the coachee. Let them speak most of the time. If you already have a good and open working relationship in place, you don't need to make much effort to build rapport. If not, then you need to allow enough time for getting-to-know each other and for building the relationship with the coachee. To build rapport, the safest approach is to talk about a topic that is related to their job/business or the community and in which the coachee has a genuine interest in. The aim is to keep the conversation topic-based, natural and non-intrusive. You might talk about a joint community goal; activities of competitors/suppliers/ processors; rising living and supply costs or financial service providers that have recently opened in the area. Avoid sensitive topics that will trigger defensive behavior in the initial stage. Talking about business topics naturally leads to addressing the coachee's goals, whereas moving from a non-related "small talk" to a financial topic might not flow well. Finally, don't overdo building the relationship. When the coachee is comfortable with the conversation, and confident enough to put forward their ideas and thoughts you have created the right level of rapport for coaching to be successful. The ability to be empathetic is critical for a good coach, as it not only helps you to accept the coachee on their own terms, but also to "tune in" to things that are important to them. Empathy begins with being aware of another person's feelings. A basic guideline for showing empathy is not to hurt the coachee's feelings by diminishing or ignoring them. Being empathetic develops naturally out of active listening and will have an impact on the level of rapport you are able to create. Unless you are dealing with someone who is unusually open-minded you will need to interpret specific language and non-verbal cues to understand how the person feels. You can demonstrate empathy by acknowledging their positive or negative emotions: I can see why you are angry; I can understand why that made you feel good; I can understand why you are frustrated with your bank.

Can you feel the difference?

Coach asks Coachee looks for responsibility outside

Coachee proposes what he/she can do him/herself

Why do you think did this happen?

I'm not sure. There can be many reasons for a situation like this. I'm not the first person in our village with this problem. I think it was witchcraft.

There are probably various reasons that caused this situation. One is that I might have made a mistake when I decided to...

What do you need to successfully implement this plan?

First of all, good luck! And of course, my bank should understand my particular situation and extend my repayment schedule for another 2-3 months.

I need to get started right now. First of all, I will cut my household expenses on 10% every month until we will have repaid the loan. I have already discussed this with my wife.

How can I best help you to resolve this problem?

Maybe, you could talk to my loan officer? They are on my neck!

Do you know other clients with whom this approach worked well? What was their experience with...?

Do you think it is realistic to plan saving 1,000 NGN every week?

Probably not, but I can try. My wife wants me to spend less money.

Maybe not every week because we don’t have a regular income. There are good times, and there are bad times. In good times we spend money quickly. From now on, I'll put aside 10% of the money when it comes in. I'm quite sure this will work.


Coaching concept – The GROW model

In addition to the skills and competencies that you need to develop, there are different coaching models that provide a framework for navigating through a

coaching session. The GROW Model is a simple framework for structuring a coaching process. GROW stands for Goals – Reality – Options – Will & Way.

Most time of structuring the coaching process should be spent on assessing available options.

Steps Main

question What it means Questions the coach should ask

Short description of the issue What challenge/problem do you face? What is the issue? What do you need help on? What is the biggest challenge for you at the moment?

1. Set Goals

What do you want to achieve? Where do you want to go?

The first step is about establishing what goals they would like to achieve in their personal life, at work/in business, or in their community. As coach, be constantly aware of these goals, which help you in preparing for the coaching meeting. Ensure the set goals are SMART: Specific, Measurable, Realistic (but challenging), Attractive/Action-oriented and Time-bound.

What do you want to achieve? What is your goal (regarding this issue)?

What results do you want for yourself and others? How will you know that you have achieved your goal? How will you know that the problem is solved? How will it feel like when you have achieved your goal? What could I do to help you come up with a solution yourself (…

to help you make that decision yourself)? What support would you like to get from me based on that? What do we need to talk about so that you can solve the issue? What is the objective of our meeting now? How would you know that you have achieved your goal? Assuming the issue would disappear overnight – what

specifically would be different?

2. Analyse Reality

Where are you now?

Through asking open-ended questions, help the coachee to get a realistic picture of where they stand in relationship to the goal they want to attain. This is a very important step as most often people try to solve a problem without fully considering their starting point, and missing some of the information they need to solve the problem

Where do you stand right now? What’s the situation? What, who, when, how often, why...? What is the effect or result of that?

What have you done so far to solve the issue? What have you

already tried? What do you see as the main issue and how do your colleagues


effectively. As the coachee tells you about their Current Reality, the solution may start to emerge.

(family members) see it? Have you experienced similar situations in the past? How did

you solve them? Are there situations in which the issue does not appear?

3. Assess Options

What options can you use to get to your destination?

Once you and your coachee have explored the Current Reality, you can explore what possible options they have for solving the problem. Help your coachee to generate as many good options as possible, and discuss them. Offer your own suggestions, but let your coachee offer theirs first, and let them do most of the talking. Use different types of questions and suggestions to help the coachee make a list of possible steps they can take towards reaching their goal.

What’s the critical thing to do here now? What is your idea? What possibilities do you see to improve the issue? What do you need (to do) to achieve your goal? What else could you do? If you had all options available, what would you do? How would

that help? What if this or that constraint were removed? Have you ever achieved this/a similar goal? What did you do? What advice would a mentor or a competent friend give to

improve the situation? What are the benefits and downsides of each option? What factors will you use to weigh up the options? What makes you believe that a solution is possible? What else could you do to improve the situation? How do you know that you are on the right way?

4. Set Will and Way forward

On a scale of 1-10, how likely is it that you will carry out the option you have chosen?

Your coachee will now have a good idea of how they can achieve their But this is not enough. The final step is to get your coachee to commit to take specific action by developing an action plan. In doing so, you will help him/her to establish his or her will and motivation. The coachee will only take the steps they have laid out, if they are prepared to overcome the obstacles they might meet on the way. It is the coachee who needs to take responsibility. The coach can help the coachee to recognize their own level of willingness.

How realistic is this plan? How likely is this option to succeed? So what will you do now, and when? What could be the next step? What could stop/hinder you from moving forward? And how will you overcome it? Will this address your goal? Who do you need to talk to? Who could support you in achieving your goal? Who is standing in your way? What can you do about this? What else will you do? How optimistic are you on a scale from 1-10 that you can

achieve your goal? What needs to happen to make you one notch more optimistic? How could you make this happen?


Coaching cycle

Coaching is a target-oriented method. After establishing a trustful relationship with the coachee, you can get started with jointly setting goals using the GROW model and developing an action plan defining activities to achieve the goals. Goals guide and focus the coachee's energies and thinking on a clear objective. Whilst the coachee is responsible for setting the goal, it is your responsibility as coach to know how to set clear, attractive, challenging yet attainable goals. Setting SMART goals is important in every coaching process as it motivates the coachee and makes it easy to recognize progress. Once progress is clearly defined and measurable, the coachee is more committed and more likely to continue a certain path of action. To facilitate target-oriented thinking, you can ask questions such as: How does cutting your expenses on... may help you reach your goal? How will you track your ability to repay this loan on time? How realistic do you think is it to intend saving 5,000 NGN of your income every week?

Examples of SMART goals related to financial behavior

SMART What it means Do not say... Say instead... Specific A clear definition of what

the coachee wishes to achieve

I want to regularly save some money.

I will save 1,000 NGN per week from now.

Measurable An indicator that allows to measure whether the coachee has attained their goal

In a couple of years I will earn a lot of money.

In five years from now I will have increased my salary (profit) by ... per cent.

Action-oriented (Attractive)

An indication of which specific action(s) the coachee plans to take to attain the goal

The crops I buy are too expensive.

Before starting the next season I will have found another supplier who sells crops at least 10% cheaper than my supplier does.

Realistic The attainment of the goal might be challenging for the coachee but it is achievable

In 2016 I will double my monthly income.

In 2016 I will increase my monthly income by 10%.

Time-bound The goal has to be achieved within a defined timeframe

I need to cut my expenses on cloths by at least 10%.

I need to cut my expenses on cloths by at least 10% this year.


A coaching plan outlines the responsibilities of the coachee and the coach in implementing agreed activities to achieve set goals. The plan creates a foundation for consistent coaching efforts and ensures that the coach’s activities support the coachee’s set goals. While coaching plans outline the activities of coach and coachee, the true measure of success is the ability of the coachee to demonstrate growth and moving towards achieving a set goal. If the coachee fails to do so, it may become necessary to revisit the plan. The core process of interaction between coach and coachee can be structured in 3 main phases: briefing, observing and debriefing.

What it is about Steps

1. Briefing Situational framework/

concept is set: the coach and

the coachee agree on the

subject and expected

outcomes of the coaching

The briefing phase clarifies

mutual expectations, jointly

set goal to be attained,

topics to discuss, formats of

collaboration, how often

they will meet, how progress

is measured etc.

Discuss:

What challenge do you face?

What impact does this challenge have on your

life (family, business)?

How does the situation currently look like?

What are you going to do?

What for? What is your goal?

What is important? Why?

What will you pay specific attention to?

What will you do if…?

Rehearse (try for example in a role play)

Mentally anticipate how the goal will be achieved

and how the future situation will look like.

2. Observing Let the coachee try

alternative action/

behaviour in a realistic but

low-risk environment to gain

confidence and acquire skills

Observe actions and

behavior

Prepare:

Agree about observation criteria (max. 3) and

explain their relevance

Inform the coachee about what you will pay

specific attention to

Take notes (you may also create a mind map)

Don’t intervene in what the coachee is doing

(only in emergency case!).

Be supportive (use non-verbal language)

3. Debriefing Give feedback, analyse

Agree on next steps

Encourage coachee to share feelings and

experiences: How did it go?

Prompt coachee to reflect: Why did it go like

this? What worked very well? Why? What

didn't work well? Why?

Discuss space for improvement/ development:

What can/would you like to do differently next

time? How could you do it differently?

Give advice for improvement

Review action plan jointly, discuss next steps

and milestones


Potential pitfalls

Each coaching phase is associated with particular risks and mistakes the coach can make. Try to

avoid them to ensure a successful coaching process.

Briefing traps

Coaches with little experience tend to make certain mistakes, which are mostly related to taking a

dominating instead of a facilitating role:

They rush and do not allow sufficient time for building rapport.

They offer their own agenda as the coaching topic.

They offer/set the goal.

They accept the topic and goal as set by the coachee without critically questioning and exploring

it in detail.

They jump into the process without setting a SMART goal.

They, instead of the coachee, take full ownership of the next steps and offer the coachee an

action plan: what to do to attain the desired goal, by when, what resources to mobilize etc.

They act as expert consultants (or teachers!) who pretend to know the "right answer/best

solution".

They share their own experiences with the coachee.

They give information rather than asking questions and actively listening.

They ask the wrong questions (too many closed and guiding questions).

They choose wrong words, e.g. by making absolute statements and generalizing experiences.

They are afraid to challenge/encourage the coachee to leave their personal comfort zone.

Observation traps

When observing the coachee’s actions and behaviors the coach needs to ensure maximum

objectivity and neutrality. Common pitfalls are:

1. There is no "neutral observation" (Theory of relativity). Our interpretation of what we observe

depends on our personal experiences, attitude towards life, our expectations, values and beliefs.

As coach you need to always be aware of the subjectivity of your observation when drawing

conclusions and giving advice. If possible, ask others about what they noticed and how they

interpret a specific situation. You should also check whether the observed behavior was

repeatedly demonstrated or not.

2. We tend to make conclusions and generalize a person’s character based on limited

observations of a person’s behavior (Halo effect). When we observe a specific behavior or

situation we assume that the observed person would act similarly in other comparable situations

which however we haven't observed yet. For example, if you observe that somebody

collaborates very well with others, you may assume that this person would probably be a good

superior, though you have never seen him or her in this role and both roles require different

competencies and personal qualities. Or if you observed how somebody lost a lot of money in

their business because they were careless about recordkeeping and cash flow management, and

this person later on presents a new business idea and asks you about their chances to succeed,

you may be skeptical because you remember the person's previous carelessness in business. Be

aware of the Halo effect and look for evidence before making conclusions and generalizing

observations.


3. The self-fulfilling prophecy – believing is achieving. If you are convinced that you will achieve a

set goal and prepare yourself for success, you are more likely to indeed succeed. On the other

hand, if you believe that you will fail, failure will surely come. As a coach, it is your responsibility

to give feedback that is encouraging and oriented towards growth and achievement. You want

to reinforce positive behavior (right decisions) and correct negative behavior (wrong decisions)

of your coachee. To achieve this, you need to both encourage and challenge them - without

intimidating and blaming the coachee and thus creating fear of future challenges

4. The coach unconsciously ascribes personal weaknesses/feelings/thoughts onto the coachee

(Projection). By observing a coachee's behavior and actions the coach unconsciously takes the

position of the coachee; the coach may think "Could this also happen to me?" For example, "This

person is probably too fearful and narrow-minded. That's why they don't actively seek for new

business opportunities" (here, the coach’s low risk appetite would lead him to draw this

conclusion). To be a good coach, you need to be aware of your personal weaknesses and ask

yourself critically what makes you get to certain conclusions when judging a person’s behavior.

Your own personality may have influenced your critical judgment.

Debriefing traps

These are similar to mistakes in the briefing phase related to taking an educating instead of a

facilitating and encouraging role:

The coach does not guide the coachee to reflect on their actions and behaviors and to come up

with their own conclusions ("lessons learned") and insights. Instead, they present their

conclusions.

The coach generalizes a particular behavior that they observed in a specific situation and draws

conclusions (without validating observations).

The coach focusses the coachee's attention on mistakes made/weaknesses instead of focusing

on their progress and personal strengths. The coach gives corrective not developmental

feedback.

Instead of discussing space for further improvement the coach gives advice on what to do next

and how to do it (again, they act as expert consultants/teachers rather than as coaches).

The coach does not ask enough questions or asks the wrong questions (e.g. closed and guiding

questions instead of reflective questions).

The coach asks the coachee what did not work and why, but does not ask what did work and

why they succeeded, thus missing a chance to reinforce the coachee's positive behaviors and

experiences and strengthen their self-confidence.

The coach offers general recommendations which do not sufficiently consider the coachee's

personal situation (living and working environment) and/or their cultural context.

What does this mean for you as coach?

1. Be aware of your own personality, your strength and weaknesses.

2. There is no objectivity. Evaluation and judgment is always relative.

3. Don’t limit your feedback to superficial characteristics. Talk about specific behaviors in specific

situations which you observed.

4. Try to cross-check and validate your observations before giving feedback.

5. Don’t forget that your coachee has the right to disagree with your feedback/conclusion. But

ensure you are clear about potential (negative) consequences of the coachee's actions and

decisions.


Coaching session

Every coaching session should be well planned and structured. Before scheduling a coaching meeting you should agree with your coachee on the agenda. The agenda should clearly state the purpose and topics of the meeting and the proposed timeframe. At the next meeting, ask the coachee to report on their progress in carrying out the options chosen. You should provide your coachee with constructive, developmental feedback and offer them chance to give feedback to check that the style and focus of the coaching dialogue is right for them. From time to time, evaluate together with the coachee the set goals and your coaching relationship to see if it is effective, if changes need to be made or if further goals need to be defined.

Structure for an individual coaching session

1. Set the objective

What shall we focus on today?

What is your objective for our meeting?

What needs to happen for you at our session today?

2. Explore options

What would you most like to do right now about this?

What would happen if you did this?

What else could solve this?

3. Make a plan

What would you like to do next?

What actions will you take to reach your goals?

Who will you need to support you?

What might stop you from reaching your objective?

What can you do about this?

4. Note progress

How useful was our session today?

Could you summarize what you have decided to do?

What have you learnt today?

When should we meet to check on progress?

At our next meeting, how should we check progress?

Tips

1. Know your own role as coach: A coach is not an expert in the coachee's situation, but an objective facilitator who helps the coachee select the best options. This is different from an expert consultant (business practitioner) who offers expert advice and direction. As coach you guide the process of selecting options and veto options that might be harmful to the coachee and/or their business, but the coachee is in the driver’s seat.

2. Coach yourself: A great way to practice using the GROW model is by addressing challenges you are facing. When you are stuck with something, you can use the GROW technique to ask questions and coach yourself. Note down questions that you can use for your coaching sessions.

3. Ask insightful questions and listen well: The two most important skills for a coach are the ability to ask good questions, and to empathetic and facilitative listening. Ask open questions and be prepared with a list of questions for each stage of the GROW process. Listen well and let the coachee do most of the talking. Remember that silence is valuable thinking time: You don't always have to fill silence with the next question.

Templates

Coaching Questionnaire

Name

Address, phone

Email

As a coach it is important to understand how you view the world in general and yourself in particular. Please

answer the following questions as clearly and thoughtfully as possible to make our collaboration more

effective.

COACHING

What do you want to make sure

you get from the coaching

relationship?

How do you want me to be as

your coach?

What do you want to work on in

coaching?

What two steps could you take

immediately that would make

the greatest difference in your

current situation?

What changes might you need

to make in order to help your

coaching be successful?

CAREER

What do you want from your

career/job?

What are your main career

goals?

What skills or knowledge have

you developed?

How do your career goals

support your personal goals?

Date: ____________________

What do you want to do to

achieve your career goals?

PERSONAL

What accomplishments should

happen in your lifetime so that

you will consider your life as well

lived?

What drives/motivates you in

life?

What is your role in your

community? In your country? In

the world?

What 2-3 things are working

well for you?

What do you do when you

oppose something strongly?

What’s missing in your life?

What would make your life more

fulfilling?

What activities have special

meaning for you?

Who are significant people in

your life?

What have been significant

events in your life?

Remember a time when things

were going well and you were

pleased with what you were

doing: what was going on? Who

else was involved? How did you

feel?

What are the most empowering

aspects in your relationship with

God?

Coaching Plan

Goal I want to achieve (SMARTI) For example, I will save 1,000 NGN per week from now.

COACHEE’S ACTIVITIES TO BE DONE BY WHEN? SUCCESS MEASURE COACH’S ACTIVITIES MILESTONES

Specific: so you know exactly what you want to achieve

Measurable: so you know when you have achieved it

Action-oriented: so you can do something about it

Realistic: so it is challenging but achievable

Time-bound: it has a deadline

Integrated: so it fits into your life

Coaching Session Preparation Form (for Coachee) Preparing for the coaching session will allow you to optimize your results and our time together.

Prior to the session, consider the following questions.

How am I today, right now?

How has my last week/

month been?

What do I want to get out of

the session today?

What action did I take since

our last session? What were

my wins/challenges?

What do I have to report?

What do I want to be held

accountable for?

What issues do I want to

deepen in our session

today? What challenges,

concerns, achievements or

areas of learning do I want

to address?

Debrief of last session’s

inquiry

What else?

Minutes of Coaching Debriefing Session

Date

Time session began

Time session ended

Venue

Session topic

Name of coachee

Name of coach

Action to implement (according to action plan)

What worked well for you

in implementing activities

of the last week/month?

What did not work well?

Do you know why?

What should you do

differently next time?

Why?

What should you continue

doing? Why?

What shouldn’t you do

anymore? Why?

What else do you need to

successfully implement/

complete the activities

you planned?

How will it feel when you

achieve your goal?

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