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1. REVIEW exam 150% definitions/ 50% examples

40 questions

CHAPTER 5: NONVERBAL COMMUNICATION IS EVERYHTING YOU DO IN COMMUNICATION WITHOUT WORDS What you are doing with your appearance, gestures, time, It influences every interaction When you remove nonverbal communication, It has 5 functions1. Contradiction: often it contradicts our verbal communication2. Emphasis: ex: thats your problem, not my problem (you move your

head, and pointing) trying to getting the point across

3. Complementing: it complements our verbal communication, they gotogether it comes more natural

4. Regulates our conversations: learn through observation,5. Substitutes for non-verbal communication: through gestures you can end

a conversation without saying it,

Principles- Non-verbal communication is consider more credible than verbal

communication= we believe it more, our non-verbal communication is

more difficult to control/hard to fake

- Non-verbal is both biological based and culturally learned.+There are six universal expressions:

Happiness, fear, anger, disgust, sadness and surprise

Biological based: It is really hard to control our truth emotion, containFacial expressions there are micro-expressions

Culturally learned: every culture have different meaning for differentexpression, how you hug, how you dress, how you address someone,

- When we show nonverbal expressions that we dont want to use/show =

leakage

- Display Rules: are rules that governed our display of nonverbal

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communication and emotion

+ not dressing appropriately for an occasion

- Nonverbal communications is often ambiguous : its meaning is notclear

- It occurs at many levels- its multichannel/leveled+if you were to look at a persons nonverbal communications we would

be looking at their appearance, how they sit, what they are wearing,

their accessories/ we select what we want to pay attention to- we pay

attention to what we want (its selective)

EXAM

Self-monitoring: the degree to which we manage our public self.

Attribution theory: when you assigns reason to peoples behavior

Framing theory: no questions about it

Intercultural communication:

High text culture

Dont assume

Ethical systems (end ch.1) categorical imperative is either black and

white

Ethic of care: most recent system, develop because there was no way

of explaining how women make decision ,Significant choice: make your own decision, you dont want to impose

your judgment

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Physical appearance: hair color, symmetry, skin tone, weight, and bodyartifacts = with what we adorn our body

We make a decision about someone in 20 sec after meeting them How we use space? Proxemics: is the use of space. How close we are

close to someone and how we use the space of things we own, what doesour backpack says about us, our car,

Proxemics: is also what others spaces we occupy around: apartments,what you value what do you devote that place to. We like to take

ownership of our personal spaces.

Intimate space: 18 inches, we are really careful about who let in ourintimate space

Personal space: 18inches to 4 Social space 4 to 12 feet Public distance Expectancy violation Theory: How we use time: Americans are obsess with time Formal and Informal time: Informal time is time we use to socializing, or when we set aside a time

to do something

3 important components of Informal time : duration:(what is anappropriate time set aside for something), punctuality: we all have dif.

Expectations about it, activity: how we actually use our time Touch/ haptic:-when you hug someone (positive effect),

-playful function:

- To control behavior

- individualistic touch

Task function of touch: when a specialized person touches us Hybrid touch: hand shake turns into a hug Accidental touch: when you are in an elevator Paralanguage: is the study of a persons voice, vocal distractors have a

strong relationship with how critical a person is, when we are thinking

about what we are going to say,

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Chapter 7

Emotions: what we feel, a persons feelings Are emotions internally or externally caused Not all feelings are created equally, How we categorized emotions: Vailence

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Test 2Ch. 5, Ch. 7 and deception notes and gender

A lot of the questions come from chapter 5

-know all the definitions

-chapter 5 definitions come in the testParalanguage and vocalics= the study of the voice

Chapter 7 be familiar with 222-224

Biological emotions,

dualism = split between the mind and the body .Things are true or false,

good or bad. Changing from one emotion to the other

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Listening is relationship based we use it to improve our relationship, is askill that we can develop, we use it for understanding,

Good listener have better relationships and have more success There are 4 components of the listener

1) receiving acknowledge2) responding: is about remembering what happened before, what was

the question, we are recalling before responding.

3)Recalling: evaluate chunking, manageable sets, recall pastinformation, we are involve in the process of chunking: how we take

info that we heard and break it into manageable sets

4)Rating: feedback, opinion you talk about the whole process, When we are listening we dont always take the four components into

consideration

We need to be careful with rating because other people may not agreewith what we are saying back to them.

Barriers to listening: listening is difficult because1)noise : mainly physical noiseyou need to remove noice sometimes itcan be semantic

2)message overload: the average is 200 messages a day, we getoverload with messages and many times we dont get them all.

3)Message complexity: how complex the message is.4)Lack of trained5)Preoccupation:6)Listening gap: there is a gap between a person can quickly speak andhow much we can usderstand. So our mind can wonder we can only

understand 800 words in a minute vs says over 1050

Poor listening Habits1)selective listening: you decide what u want to hear, and to what youdont you just tune out

2) talkaholics3)pseudolistening:4)gap filler:5)defensive list:6)ambushing:

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center listener: you focus on the person how they are action center listener: interested in action, lets listen so we can move

forward, tell me what needs to be done, they second guess people

content center listener: very detail oriented, want to now every side ofthe problems, they will play devil advocate, are very goal orientedindividuals

time center listener: is someone who is focus on the message to be short,and concise, they can even tell you I just have 5 min to listening to you.

They have rapid tone of voice.

Knapps Staircase Model: up: initiating can be direct/indirect,experimenting is finding out about someone, intensifying is the

honeymoon face (the talk comes at the end), integrating is becoming

part of each others daily life, bonding is living together; differentiating

can be +/- saying mine and yours, circumscribing is spending time

away from someone, stagnating is not talking anymore just existing,

avoiding and termination can happen in either order

Bonding Integrating| |Differentiating Intensifying| |Circumscribing Experimenting| |Stagnating Initiating| |Avoiding |Termination

Convilles helical model 1) No set time periods to be in a stage 2) Takes history into account 3) Cannot be further apart than resynthesisto security

4) Always moving forward Both people are on the model but one personcan be ahead of the other

You can only be 4 steps apart at farthest Security: when we first meet someone(initiation)

Is the relationship initiating according to our expectations?

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Disintegration: when we notice that something is off You let it go but you put your guard up Alienation: you decide something is wrong and you have to figure out

what youre going to do about it

Characterized by a lack of communication Resynthesis: you figured it out and decided what youre going to do

about it

You redesigned the relationship (or changed your actions) You reframe the situation in your own mind sometimes and the other

person doesnt even realize

You become comfortable and you move through the stages again Each new stage (R2, R3) shows we are good with the redefinition We enter into a new Alienation, Resynthesis again Sometimes we jump through stages a sprint i.e. a women gives divorce papers to an unexpected husband and flings

him to resynthesis from security

Significant events in our relationship influence these stages Every relationship weve ever been in has one Social exchange theory: rewards minus costs equal outcome of

relationship

Rewards: intimacy, access rights Costs: sharing Comparison level of alternative: comparing our significant other to

different people, governed by norm of reciprocity

Conflict: interaction between interdependent people who perceiveincompatible goals and interference in obtaining those goals

Dont waste your time in conflict if there is no interdependence Perceive is the key word, our perception is our reality Interpersonal conflict is commonly defined as the interaction of

interdependent people who perceive incompatible goals and

interference from each other in achieving those goals.

Image conflict: self presentation, face work, deals with things we holdclose to ourselves, it is difficult and usually remembered

Content conflict: public is easily verified, private is dealing with an issue Value conflict: whether you think something is right or wrong in a

relationship, religion, politics, etc.

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Relational conflict: deals primarily with relational issues and viability ofthe relationship (changes that are made) I feel you dont value our

relationshiphow you are being treated in the relationship.

Serial conflict: long term relationship, something happening all thetime, neither person will bend. Have no resolutions, can be over simpleevery day tasks.

Meta conflict: conflict about the ways that you engage in conflict Defining conflict

Selective perception is a central dynamic conflict interactions peoplethought different things and attributed different motives to one another

Interdependence-people involved in the conflict are in a relationshiptogether and relay on one another. If you do not have a relationship with

that person it isnt important enough to have a conflict with.

Although peoples need of others is a basic, fundamental human desire.People rank conflicts with others one of the most critical stressors they

experience.

Interdependence is the main reason that conflicts is a natural andinevitable part of life. The most we relay on each other the more potential

there is for observing differences and being affected by them

Perception- psychological process involved in sensing meaning,interdependent people have perceive that they have incompatible goals

People judge themselves and their conversational partners based on howwell they communicate and how successful they are in reaching their

conversational goal.

Incompatible goals-people goal differ, they think others stand in the wayof the achievement of personal goals. Conflict is goal oriented.

Types of Conflict Image conflict- concerns self presentation. Conflict with another about

ones sense of oneself. Mom sees own child as baby even thought is 30,

child is an adult.

Content conflict-substantive revolve around issue. I hate bowling.Friends like bowling

Content can be subdivided. Public issue- issue outside relationship Personal issue- relate more closely to the relationship. Dont like

president- public. Dont like new girlfriend of friend- private.

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Value conflict- content is specifically and question of right and wrong.Feelings about abortion

Relational Conflicts- relationship between two people. Serial Conflicts- conflicts that recur over time in peoples everyday lives,

without a resolution. Husband leaving clothes on floor. Meta-conflicts conflicts about the way you conduct conflict. Private content conflict: you are always late, you are at a slow speed,

etc.

Four part (conflict) process model: in any conflict there are 4 partsme, you, context (emotions), subject (the argument), at any point we

can take one of these out of the equation

Placating: taking the me out of the situation, taking care of your needsunderstanding others

Pouncing: taking the you out of the situation, discounting the you. Imgoing to tell you just as it is I wont be nice with your needs

Computing: taking the emotion out of the situation, what you are leftwith are facts, many times the facts dont add up, what is important is

the emotional part. You make the argument seem reasonable but there is

problems with the emotional part of it.

Distracting: taking the subject out of the situation, it might be you beginto talk about the dishes but your roommates tells you a story and younever actually get the time to talk about the dishes

Explanatory process model: context and outcomes in terms of distaloutcomes (background) and proximal outcomes (here and now) : what

we are doing right then .

Four part model of elements of a conflict as occurringsimultaneously within a conflict interaction

Distal context background that frames the specific conflict. Containsthe history between the two parties and the areas of disagreement they

have discussed in the past.

Proximal context refers to the rules emotions and beliefs of theindividual involved in the conflict. Agree to keep place clean.

Conflict interaction- difference between the partners become a problemand one or both people begin to address the issue

Proximal outcomes- immediate results after the conflict interaction

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Distal outcome- conflicts are never completely over, residue of havingengaged in the conflict and the feelings that both the participants have

about their interaction.

Direct use of power: no doubt that you are exercising control Virtual power: essentially a threat (blackmail) Indirect use of power: having someone else suggest something,

withholding something, can be passive aggressive (can be unintentional)

Hidden use of power: exercising power that someone didnt know youhad

Fileys conflict grid: our conflict style, we havemore than one, often one for public and one within

private self. Illustrate the different conflict styles

you can use in dealing with conflicts.

Avoidance: buring our head in the sand, oftenbecause we have exhausted our other options, use it

if dealing with someone who is not rational. characterized for a low

concerns for you and others. By not doing anything we dont really care a

bout, good strategy for a little while= dealing with someone who is not

rational.

Accommodation: giving in a lot, naturally nice people who dont likeconflict, sometimes used to fit in, sometimes used to manipulate or get

ahead (brown-noser), at some point there is a place for this in every

relationship. High concern for other low concern for yourself. Good thing:

usually really popular, bad thing: can be taken advantage of people walk

over them. There are times we need to accommodate (remember) is

important to build up a relationship it shows that you care about them in

a lovingly way.

Competition: winning, is problematic when you are willing to break therules, not always a bad thing, is a necessary thing, both people perform

better. High concern for self and low for others. My way or the high way,

we do whatever it takes to win. The two people competing results in both

of them doing better-working harder. Competition hurts self-esteem and

prepares you for the real world. S about standing up for your self

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Collaboration: everyone knows where everyone stands, a good strategyif the issue is important. Is when you have high concerns for self and

others. You compromise, together you work a plan on how something is

going to work. Not every issue has to be about collaboration it sometimes

just makes you lose time if the conflict s small. Compromise: no one is truly happy, everyone gets a little, it may be the

best solution or it may not be. Works best is you have limited resources

and the stakes are not high. Is always a lose lose situation. Is the easy

solution. `

Pursuit withdrawal: someone brings something up and you saw wewill do it later

Withdrawal pursuit: when the other person doesnt except something Distal context: the background that frames a specific conflict Proximal context: rules, emotions, beliefs of the individuals involved in

a conflict

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|Termination Convilles helical model 1) No set time periods to be in a stage 2) Takes history into account 3) Cannot be further apart than resynthesisto security

4) Always moving forward Both people are on the model but one personcan be ahead of the other

You can only be 4 steps apart at farthest Security: when we first meet someone(initiation)

Is the relationship initiating according to our expectations? Disintegration: when we notice that something is off You let it go but you put your guard up Alienation: you decide something is wrong and you have to figure out

what youre going to do about it

Characterized by a lack of communication Resynthesis: you figured it out and decided what youre going to do

about it

You redesigned the relationship (or changed your actions) You reframe the situation in your own mind sometimes and the other

person doesnt even realize

You become comfortable and you move through the stages again Each new stage (R2, R3) shows we are good with the redefinition We enter into a new Alienation, Resynthesis again Sometimes we jump through stages a sprint i.e. a women gives divorce papers to an unexpected husband and flings

him to resynthesis from security

Significant events in our relationship influence these stages Every relationship weve ever been in has one Metahelics can prepare us for bigger hellics

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Personality: relatively stable set of characteristics that guide yourbehavior

Personality some aspects can be highlighted and shaped based on ourenvironment.

Kiersey-bates comes from the Meyers-briggs

Myers-Briggs Personality test

o Extroversion Introversion (E-I) Where do you get energy from? Extroversion

Get energy from other people Profound need to be around others Sometimes communicate without thinking Like meeting new people/wide range of relationships Outgoing Comfortable in variety of environments Strong desire to be around people Talk first think second

Introversion Get energy from within/ solitarie activities. Enjoy solidary activities (Ex. Reading a book) Think before speaking about relational consequences Analytical Cautious with other individuals Stressed when around lots of people or in chaotic situations Are really reflective/ analyze relationships The relationships they have are usually very closed. Territorials

o Sensing Intuition (S-N) how you gather data Sensing

show me state Like to use the 5 senses to gather information

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Will notice changes in their environments Someone will notice traffic signs/ speed limit changes Detail oriented because they like to see what and how they will do it. Like to follow Instructions/plans are important Highly organized good work habits Like to figure out the best way to do something >>>>follow plans Technical feeling Detailed oriented people

Intuition big picture Very creative Think globally Think outside the box Overall connections Very attracted to theories and things that can be interpreted

differently

Very comfortable with personal experiences They trust theyre instinct

o Thinking Feeling (T-F) how you solve a problem/what guides your decisions ? Thinking

Relies on rationale and logic Will follow or create the rules Creates more rules for everyone to be on the same page

Feeling Governed by their feelings Will fight the rules Doing what you feel What your think is right

o Judging Perceiving (J-P) how you live your daily life Judging

Quick decisions (Ex. Purchases, people, TV shows)

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Overall planners Ex. Things to Do Likes for things to be closed Risk takers Impulsive Jump in with both feet If they want to do something they have to figure out everything Annoyed by indecisiveness make prompt decisions

Perceiving Doesnt like to make decision quickly Will often get pushed back into a corner Gets stressed out when things are closed to quickly Going to test to see if water is cold before jumping in Hard time making decisions, because they want to make sure they

make the best decisions.

Take so much time that they end up boxing themselves They question theyre decisions

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