Children’s Voices – A Collaborative Model for Helping Divorced Families

in the Local Context12 May 2016

Children’s Voicesvia

Clinical Assessment

Dr. Anita C. LeungRegistered Clinical Psychologist, HKPS

Chartered Psychologist, BPSAccredited Family Mediator, HKMAAL

Outlines• Concerns about children’s voices in

parental disputes over parenting arrangement

• Clinical Psychologist’s role in identifying children’s voices versus children’s wishes

• Clinical assessment with case illustrations• Integrating children’s voices in a

collaborative approach

Concerns about children’s voices in parental disputes over parenting

arrangement• Why there are concerns? • What are the concerns?• How children’s voices are heard?

Why there are concerns (1)• Children are an active social agent or actor• Children’s agency is an interaction of personal

and family characteristics, the availability of social support, and societal macrosystems

• Children need to know what is going to affect their life and to be heard; having a say in parents’ divorce decision empowers them with a greater sense of control over their environment

• Sense of agency is associated with self-esteem, optimism and life satisfaction vs helplessness, pessimism and dismay

Why there are concerns (2)United Nations Convention on the Rights of the Child Article 12 (Respect for the views of the child):•When adults are making decisions that affect children, children have the right to say what they think should happen and have their opinions taken into account •Encourages adults to listen to the opinions of children and involve them in decision-making -- not give children authority over adults •The level of a child’s participation in decisions must be appropriate to the child's level of maturity

Why there are concerns (3)• Parents in divorce are often blinded by their

emotions to have a clear picture of children’s needs

• Children are sensitive to their own family situation

• Children’s voice can be enlightening to parents, injecting new information, or new options leading to dispute resolution, better decisions, more workable arrangements in the best interests of children, providing the Court with more integrated and reliable view of the family

What are the concerns • Children may be placed in the position of de

facto decision-maker undermining parental authority, leading to role-reversal, and over-burdening them

• Children may be placed in the middle of their parents’ conflicts in expressing their choices

• Children may be under parental coaching, pressure and manipulation, expressing views based on what is fair to their parents, or to meet a parent’s needs, rather than what is best for themselves

Children placed in the position of de facto decision-maker

• Studies indicate that children generally only want their views to be heard seriously

• If the eventual parenting arrangement is different from the children’s request, children are likely to lose trust in authorities

• In clinical assessment, children are well informed that their view will be taken seriously, but the decisions are made based on all the relevant information and the needs of all involved (control of process, not control of decision)

Children placed in the middle of parental conflicts in expressing their

choices• Studies indicate that children generally do not

want to express a view when the issue is a clear choice between the competing proposals of their parents

• There are many ways of listening to children’s voices without forcing them to choose between two irreconcilable sets of proposals, e.g. open-ended questions over a broad context of children’s lives and relationships vs binary choice; facilitate children to think through practical pros and cons in hypothetical scenarios

Children under parental coaching, pressure, or manipulation

• Children, especially prior to adolescence, do not have the capacity to make reasoned choices about important matters

• Children’s voices cannot be heard in isolation, out of context

• Clinical assessment takes a holistic perspective of children’s expressed views and wishes, in a broad context of the children’s lives, to discern children’s authentic voices and need

 

How children’s voices are heardDifferent ways of children’s participation in the decision-making process:•Social investigation report•Psychological report•Child-inclusive mediation•Child representative•Judicial interviewing

Clinical Psychologist’s role in identifying children’s voices

versus children’s choices or wishes Clinical psychologists are trained in normal and abnormal functioning of both children and adults, equipped with a wide range of assessment skills, able to take a holistic view of the family, to assess the impact of family dynamic on children, and to provide competent and impartial opinions with direct relevance to the “psychological best interests” of the child.

Clinical assessment encompasses: • Interviews (age-appropriate) • Home visits (natural environment to

minimize anxiety and disruption of normal routines, sense of belonging & agency in the environment)

• Behavioural observations (structured/ non-directive activities, individual, parent-child, family)

• Collateral information (legal documents, medical, school, social investigation reports)

• Psychological testing

Objectives & functions of clinical assessment with case illustrations (1)

• Facilitate both adults and children to express their perspectives, feelings & needs, verbally and non-verbally, with respect and trust

• Gain a holistic view of the family dynamic and impact on the children – toxic stress, role reversal, abuse, alienation, resistance to see a parent, bonding, 3rd party influence

Objectives & functions of clinical assessment with case illustrations (2)

• Cautious of “poison” and undue influence from significant adults

• Identify children’s authentic voices and needs by tuning into the children’s experiential world, listening from inside out, not literally

• Enlighten parents, providing relevant feedback to parents regarding children’s feelings & needs

Objectives & functions of clinical assessment with case illustrations (3)

• On top of the “Do no harm” principle, add some positive experience to all concerned

• Help parents get out of the ‘stuck’ situation and move forward

• Obtain relevant information in reaching an informed and considered clinical opinion in the best interest of the child, guiding court and parents to make the best decision for the children

Highlights of clinical assessment (1)

• Children’s stated wishes may not be a reliable index of the children’s best interest

• Children can tolerate almost any solution that settles the conflicts between parents better than the ongoing conflicts that some parents continue

• Arrangements entered into willingly by both parents are more stable and beneficial to children

• Ongoing parental conflict is toxic to children’s cognitive, emotional social, physical development

Highlights in clinical assessment (2) • Anxiety of losing parents’ love is children’s

primary source of distress • Children’s adjustment following parents’

divorce is dependent on the quality of post-divorce family relationships and the quality of the co-parental relationships

• Parents’ commitment to making their best efforts to healthy co-parenting is the primary strength that helps children transition parental divorce and thrive

Integrating children’s voices in a collaborative approach

• Psychological assessment and report to help parents and judges make decision

• Working with Parenting Coordinator• Working with Mediator• Working with Collaborative-practiced-

lawyer• Working with Therapist / Counsellor 

Let’s join hands in listening to the authentic voices of

children to minimize harm of parental divorce

Thank You