8/7/2019 Chef songs

1/4

I'm gonna make love to ya womangonna lay ya down by the fireAnd caress your womanly bodymake ya moan and perspireGonna get those juices flowin'we're makin' love gravy, love gravy,lovelovelovelovelove GRAVIH

love, luh...

Oh, Kathie Lee, how I'd love to lay you down.And lick every inch of your body with my tongueKathie Lee, you're my sexual fantasyHow 'bout you and me get together and make sweet love?

MmmmBaby everytime that we kissHot Lava!Everytime that we make love, hot lavaHot Lava!

Lava so hot it makes me sweatLava so warm and red and wetLava!Brrrrrrrrrrrr.

Just like makin' sweet love to the football.Feelin' naughty with the football.Mmmm. Spank it, ever so gently. Spank it.

Tonight is a-right for love,you know I -- want to touch you where the lights don't go.Tonight is a-right for love, love gravay.Expressing love so sweet.

I want to -- keep you burning like a dog in heat.Tonight is a-right for love, love graaavaaay.

Ladies and gentlemen, Mr. Elton John! [he appears]

Oooo tonightOooo it's all rightOooo tonight is right for love, love gravaya.

Thank you Elton.

Tonight is right for love, love graaavaaaaaay.

I'm gonna make love, even when I'm deadMy body might get cold, but it's always hot in my bedMake looove, don't you be afraidJust because my heart ain't beatin' don't mean you won't get laid.[Wolf howl]Whoooo-hoo

We're all special, in our own wayEverybody's different, but that's okay"Cause even though we might have different-colored skin

Different points of view, be tall ar thin,It doesn't mean I can't lay you down, woman, and touch your silky skinWith my love deep inside you, where no man has ever been

8/7/2019 Chef songs

2/4

Rub you legs, caress your thighs and uh

I'm gonna lay you down by the Yule logI'm gonna love you rightBaby, I'm gonna deck your halls

And silence your nightsYou'll hear the herald angels singWhen I'm sliding off your braI just can't wait to jingle your bellsand falala your love

You can break my heartAnd that means we should make love'Cause if we don't-

Nobody could take your place

No way they could match your face, noYou've got it going on in a way so clear,I just want to buy you a beerUh maybe tonight, at 7:30 or something I could uh - come by and uh -

Pick you up in my caa-a-aaaa-aa-aa-aa-aaar No substituteNo substitute for you No substituteNo, baby, there's No substituteFor you girl No substitute for you nowYou know that it's true No substituteThere's just, no substitute forYou!

He does not sing, though he offers this poem:Give me a little bit of that pepperGive me a little bit of that saltput it in the skillet and cook it

When a man loves a woman, and a woman loves a man,Actually, sometimes a man doesn't love a woman, buuthe acts like he does, in order to get some action, hehehThe magic starts to happen, and the two take off their clothes, that's rightAnd they caress and touch each other, until the part of the man growsOooooooooo And they roll around and now things a-really startuh getting hotAnd the man says "I love you" and the woman says "hold on a second, I gotta go to the bathroom"So you wait, and you wait, and you wait and you wait[pause]and you wait, and you wait, and you waaaaiitAnd you wait and you're coolin' down and she's still goin' to the bathroom

Finally she comes back, and she says, "Baby, I'm gettin' hot!"And that's when you gotta jam her butt and pump her full of

Ooo, baby, come on.Just whup Denver's ass!

8/7/2019 Chef songs

3/4

Gonna need some cream for your ass, becauseWe're winnin' there

[slowly]Baby you know you're the girrrl, for meeeeAnd aallll that I want to bee-ee-ee-ee is

[faster, with a beat]You. And me. And her. SimultaneousYou. And me. And you, and you! SimultaneousLovin', baby. Two or three, heheh. SimultaneousOooo, that's right

You. And me. And you, and you! SimultaneousLovin', baby. Two or three, heheh. Simultaneous

Hey, everybody, have you seen my balls? They're big and salty and brown

If you ever need a quick pick-me-up, just stick my balls in your mouthOoooo, suck on my cho-colate salty balls put 'em in your mouthPut 'em in your mouth and suck 'em and suck 'em

Sometimes you fall in love and you think it feels that way forever.You change your life and didn't know your friends cause you think it can't get any better.But then love goes away; no matter what, it doesn't stay as strong.And then you're left with nothing, cause your tinking with your dong.So watch out for that love bug! It can destroy like a typhoon wind!Just play it cool and don't be a fool

Mr. Garrison: [from the entrance] And never let poontang come between you and your friend.Chef: Daaamn right, Garrison!

Ooo baby, yeah baby, ooo baby.Yeah baby, yeah baby, now baby.Ooo yeah, yes yes babyYeahyeahyeah, uh-huh baby nowAgh! Agh! Awww! No, baby!Ewww, baby! No, no!Alright nowI'm alright, I'm-I'm cool, it's okay.Uh alright, wwatch out for the bedspread, baby.Look out now, it's- alright, I'll tell you what.Uuh, how about uuh, uh.Why don't I call you next week?

I can't wait until I grow upand my weenie get and strong'Cause when it does I'm gonna bustAnd make love to Amanda all night longI'm gonna make love to Amanda in about ten years!And that toothpick is gonna turn into an oak tree,I'ma knock you down, knock you up,

Knock you over, and knock you all around.

8/7/2019 Chef songs

4/4

Chef: [But] A prostitute is someonen who would love youNo matter who you are, or what you look like. Yes, it's true, children.That's not why you pay a prostitute,no, you don't pay her to stay, you pay her to leave afterwards.That's why I pays a lot for prostitutes!

Ladies and Gentlemen, Mr. James Taylor.James Taylor: A prostitute is like any other womanThey all trade somethin' for sex and they do it well.

Chef: And that's why I say-

Chef and James Taylor: Prostitutes! Prostitutes! They-