Subject : Theory of Communication

Chapter 7 Group 5

Communication in the Stagesof Relationships

PRESENTER: NGỌC CẨM

Every relationship develops and changes with time

Even though no two relationships develop in exactly the same manner, they tend to follow a life cycle that has four identifiable stages:

• Beginning• Developing• Maintaining• Deteriorating

(Baxter, 1982; Duck, 1987; Knapp & Vangelisti, 2000; Taylor & Altman, 1987).

Beginning Relationships

• Communication during the beginning stage of a relationship focuses on reducing uncertainty by increasing your knowledge of the other person.

• Your goal is to understand how he or she sees the world (Berger, 1987).

• Relationships can begin in face-to-face or online environments.

The process that relationships go through in the beginning stage –Steve Duck (1999)

FACE-TO-FACE

E.g. Two college roommates – Kate &Whitney

majorhobbies schoolstudying Schedule

The chitchat reduces uncertainty and helps them gain knowledge about each other

Relationships in online environments

• Online communication may present a potentially less difficult way to meet others than traditional face-to face interactions.

• The initial interaction can occur in the comfort of your own home and at your own pace.

• You need not be concerned about physical aspects of the self or the other, and you can more precisely select what you are going to say (Ward &Tracy, 2004).

DEVELOPING RELATIONSHIPS

• Moving from the beginning stage of a relationship, we get into the next one: The developing.

• On this stage, partners will identify and capitalize on their similarities and tolerate or negotiate their differences.

• As the relationship develops, partners tend to share greater physical contact.

• Such physical behaviors may or may not involve romantic feelings.

Sitting closer together

Leaning toward each other More eye contact

• Females and males may differ in how they show physical contact in same- and opposite-sex friendships.

• Females may hold hands or hug other female friends.

• Males may high-five each other or punch each other’s shoulder.

• As a relationship develops, partners will feel psychologically closer.

• Partners who do not feel relaxed and comfortable will remain casual acquaintances and may even decide to avoid having any relationship with one another.

• Because the relationship is developing, partners will come to understand each other more and be less surprised by the attitudes, reactions, or behaviors of the other.

• Because they share a history and common activities, they will come to develop a common language, including inside jokes, pet expressions, and references unique to their relationship.

• Relationships can develop via face-to-face or online interactions.

• Some people even report that they achieve more closeness in online relationships than in equivalent face-to-face relationships.

MAINTAINING A RELATIONSHIP

Maintaining a relationship means that both people participate in ways that keep the relationship at a particular level of closeness.

Researchers have catalogued many strategies, such as spending time together, merging friendship networks, sacrifice, and forgiveness that people use to maintain relationships.

You probably unconsciously use many of these techniques to maintain your relationships.

For example: • Thu and Mai are from different province but they are

room-mate and they used these strategies to maintain their relationship.

• In the second year, they decided to take a few classes together, join some of the same clubs, and get to know each other’s friends. They even visited each other’s hometowns and met each other’s families and high school friends.

You can maintain your relationship by choosing to spend time together face to face or online. In fact online communication can be the main vehicle for maintaining long distance relationships.

Another relationship maintenance strategy involves a willingness to sacrifice.

Sacrifice means putting your own needs or desires on hold.

For example

When Nga was ill, sacrificed a date in order to stay home and take care of her sick roommate. Because all relationships involve give-and-take, being willing at times to do what is best for the other person or for the relationship itself can help maintain the relationship.

Another strategy people sometimes practice is “positive illusion.” This means emphasizing others’ virtues and downplaying their faults.

Relationships can also be maintained by forgiveness. Because conflict is inevitable in close relationships, we may do or say things that hurt our partner. If not handled properly, such transgressions can harm the relationship and move it to a level of less intimacy. By forgiving minor transgressions, we can keep a relationship at the desired level of closeness.

For example, Thu and Mai each have little habits that annoy the other, but they choose not to let these annoyances get in the way of a good friendship.

Other ways that people maintain their relationships include continuing mutually acceptable levels of affection, self-disclosure, favors, and support.

Keys to maintaining relationships

We all need one another. Life is about relationships and we need to know how to keep and maintain them.Below are a few keys to keeping your relationships.

1. Appreciate and value your friends.2. If you take your friends for granted you will

eventually loose them.3. Keep a diary of phone calls and visits

especially if you are a very busy person. This may sound funny, but if you don’t, you will wake up one morning to find out that you have drifted apart. This is especially important if you have just met someone and you are just building the relationship.

4. Discuss any issues that may arise. If you have unresolved issues, deal with them and don’t hope they will just go away

without confronting them. Unresolved issues may eventually ruin your friendship.5. However high up you go in life, endeavour to keep your friends that were there for you before you became famous.6. Respect people and don’t be rude.

7. Return phone calls, emails, text messages, acknowledge cards and gifts.

8. When you perceive that a person has an interest in you or wants to know you more, receive them and open up.

9. Give people allowances.10. If a person asks for your phone number,

give it to them and ask for theirs. Its show that you are also interested in pursuing the relationship.

Deteriorating and Dissolving Relationships

PRESENTER: Minh Sang

The less highly developed a relationship is, the more likely it is to dissolve.

Over time, a developed relationship may become less satisfying to one or both partners so that a partner will invest less time in the relationship

But this doesn’t mean that the relationship will end. Instead it may revert to a different, less intimate level.

The first sign that a relationship is deteriorating is a subtle indication of dissatisfaction.

The partners may feel less connected to each other, begin to share fewer activities, and communicate less frequently

begin to emphasize each other’s faults and downplay virtues. Subjects that once involved deep, private, and frequent communication may become off-limits or sources of conflict.

Partners become more defensive and less willing to foster a positive communication climate.

If the relationship continues to be dissatisfying, people begin to drift apart. They become less willing to sacrifice for each other, and they show less forgiveness.

When a relationship can’t be maintained at a less developed level, it will end.

A relationship has ended when the people no longer interact with each other

When a relationship can’t be maintained at a less developed level, it will end. A relationship has ended when the people no longer interact with each other.

Unfortunately, when people decide to end a relationship, they sometimes look for reasons to blame each other rather than trying to find equitable ways of bringing the relationship to an acceptable conclusion

The most competent way to end a relationship is to be direct, open, and honest.

It is important to clearly state your wish to end the relationship while being respectful of the other person and sensitive to the resulting emotions.

If two people have had a satisfying and close relationship, they owe it to themselves and to each other to be forthright and fair about communicating during the final stage of the relationship.

RELATING FACTORS

Presenter: Dinh Quoc Minh Dang

• The factors affecting the way we communicate with others in the stages of relationship

Common Stages

Levinger’s Theory that Relationships pass through Five Stages from Beginning to End

INITIAL ATTRACTION

Positive Factors

• Proximity and repeated exposure

• Positive emotions

• High affiliation need and friendship motivation

INITIAL ATTRACTION

Negative Factors

• Absence of proximity and repeated exposure

• Negative emotions

• Low affiliation need and friendship motivation

BUILDING A RELATIONSHIP

Positive Factors

• Equivalent physical attractiveness

• Similarity of attitudes and other characteristics

• Reciprocal positive evaluations

BUILDING A RELATIONSHIP

Negative Factors

• Nonequivalent physical attractiveness

• Dissimilarity of attitudes and other characteristics

• Reciprocal negative evaluations

Positive Factors

• Seeking ways to maintain interest and variety

• Providing evidence of positive evaluation

• Absence of jealousy• Perceived equity• High level of mutual satisfaction

CONTINUATION

CONTINUATION

Negative Factors

• Falling into a rut and becoming bored

• Providing evidence of negative evaluation

• Jealousy• Perceived inequity• Low level of mutual satisfaction

DETERIORATION

Positive Factors

• Much time and effort invested in relationship

• Work at improvement of relationship

• Wait for improvement to occur

DETERIORATIONNegative Factors

• Little time and effort invested in relationship

• Decide to end relationship

• Wait for deterioration to continue

ENDING

Positive Factors

• Existing relationship offers some rewards

• No alternative partners available

• Expect relationship to succeed

• Commitment to a continuing relationship

ENDING

Negative Factors

• A new life appears to be the only acceptable solution

• Alternative partners available

• Expect relationship to fail

• Lack of commitment to a continuing relationship

Relationship Dialectics Theory

Summary

• Communication in the Stages of Relationship:1. Beginning relationship2. Developing relationship3. Maintaining relationship4. Deteriorating and dissolving relationship5. Common factors affecting these stages

The end!

• Group members:1. Dinh Quoc Minh Dang2. Nguyen Dinh Minh Sang3. Vo Huu Loc4. Tran Thi Ngan Giang5. Nguyen Ngoc Cam