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Chapter 4: Coaching, Counseling and Supportive Communication
What did you say?
Copyright © 2002, Prentice Hall 2
Objectives
Differentiate between coaching and counseling problems
Avoid defensiveness and disconfirmation in interpersonal communication
Improve ability to apply principles of supportive communication
Improve work relationships by using personal management interviews
Copyright © 2002, Prentice Hall 3
Communication Facts
Communication ability determines promotability
Communication quality between managers and employees is often low
80 percent of a manager’s day is spent in verbal communication
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Effective Communication
Accurate, complete shared meaning – what sender means is what receiver gets
Supportive – relationship between sender and receiver is enhanced by communication
Timely – message arrives when receiver can use information
Relationship Between Unskillful Communication and Interpersonal Relationships
Abrasive, insensitive, unskillful
message delivery
Distant, distrustful, uncaring
interpersonal relationships
Restricted, inaccurate
information and defective
communication flow
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Managerial Communications
Coaching giving advice, direction or information to
improve performance “I can help you do something better”
Counseling helping someone understand and resolve a
problem him/herself by displaying understanding
“I can help you recognize that a problem exists”
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Obstacles to Effective Interpersonal Communication
DEFENSIVENESS One individual feels threatened or attacked
as a result of the communication Self-protection becomes paramount Energy is spent on constructing a defense
rather than on listening Aggression, anger, competitiveness, and/or
avoidance as a result of the communication
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Obstacles to Effective Interpersonal Communications
DISCONFIRMATION One individual feels incompetent, unworthy,
or insignificant as a result of the communication
Attempts to reestablish self-worth take precedence
Energy is spent trying to portray self-importance rather than on listening
Showing off, self-centered behavior, withdrawal, and/or loss of motivation are common reactions
Copyright © 2002, Prentice Hall 9
Supportive Communication Principles
Problem-oriented, not person-oriented “How can we solve this problem?” NOT “Because of you there is a
problem.”Based on congruence, not incongruence
“Your behavior really upset me.” NOT “Do I seem upset? No,
everything’s fine.”
Copyright © 2002, Prentice Hall 10
Supportive Communication Principles
Descriptive, not evaluative “Here is what happened; here is my
reaction; here is what I suggest that would be more acceptable to me.”
NOT “You are wrong for doing what you did.”
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Supportive Communication Principles
Validating, not invalidating “I have some ideas, but do you have
any suggestions?”NOT “You wouldn’t understand me, so
we’ll do it my way.”
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Supportive Communication Principles
Specific, not global “You interrupted me three times
during the meeting.”NOT “You’re always
trying to get attention.”
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Supportive Communication Principles
Conjunctive, not disjunctive “Relating to what you just said, I’d like
to discuss this.”NOT “I want to discuss this
(regardless of what you want to discuss).”
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Supportive Communication Principles
Owned, not disowned “I’ve decided to turn down your
request because….”NOT “You have a
pretty good idea, but they just wouldn’t approve it.”
Copyright © 2002, Prentice Hall 15
Supportive Communication Principles
Involves listening, not just talking “What do you think are the obstacles
standing in the way of improvement?”NOT “As I said before, you make too
many mistakes. You’re just not doing the job.”
Response Types
DIRECTIVE RESPONSE
Generally useful when
coaching
CLOSED RESPONSE
Generally useful during later stages
of discussion
NONDIRECTIVE RESPONSE
Generally useful when counseling
OPEN RESPONSE
Generally useful during early stages of discussion
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Advising, Deflecting, Probing, Reflecting
Advising, Deflecting, Probing, Reflecting
16
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Personal Management Interview (PMI)
Regularly scheduled, one-on-one meeting between manager and subordinate
Meeting is designed to assist in continuous improvement
Action items are generated and followed upCommunication is supportive and two-wayGenerally takes about an hour
Copyright © 2002, Prentice Hall 18
Communicating Supportively: Behavioral Guidelines
Differentiate between coaching and counseling situations
Use problem-oriented statementsBe congruentUse descriptive, not evaluative,
statementsUse validating statements
Copyright © 2002, Prentice Hall 19
Communicating Supportively: Behavioral Guidelines
Use specific, conjunctive statementsOwn your statementsDemonstrate supportive listening Implement a personal management
interview program
An Analysis of “Find Somebody Else”
STATEMENT1. Ron
2. Mike
3. Ron
4. Mike
5. Ron
6. Mike
Etc..
ANALYSIS OF PRINCIPLESTends to be evaluative, so will cause defensiveness. Owns
rather than disowns feedback.
Indicates defensiveness; person oriented; confrontive approach with produce defensiveness.
Attempts to be problem oriented, validating, and descriptive.
Still person oriented; global, not specific; non-supportive listening.
Evaluative; advising rather than asking for alternatives’ implied accusations; non-specific.
Defensive; non-specific; avoids discussing problem definition or problem solutions.
Copyright © 2002, Prentice Hall20