100:00:03,578 --> 00:00:05,963Peralta, are you eatingan italian sub for breakfast?

200:00:05,964 --> 00:00:07,732I am, but Amy said I shouldeat more veggies

300:00:07,733 --> 00:00:09,651so I got extra pepper chili.

400:00:09,652 --> 00:00:10,986Smart.

500:00:10,987 --> 00:00:11,987[coffee splashes]

600:00:11,988 --> 00:00:13,288Uh, excuse me.

700:00:13,289 --> 00:00:14,388You need to watch yourself.

800:00:14,423 --> 00:00:16,258I'm sorry...cop.

900:00:16,259 --> 00:00:19,227All right, let's everybodyjust stay calm here.

1000:00:19,228 --> 00:00:20,228Or what?

1100:00:20,229 --> 00:00:22,063Are you gonnaarrest me for dancing?

1200:00:22,064 --> 00:00:24,032You call that dancing?

1300:00:24,033 --> 00:00:25,066[crowd murmuring]

1400:00:25,067 --> 00:00:27,402This is dancing.

1500:00:27,403 --> 00:00:28,870♪ ♪

1600:00:28,871 --> 00:00:31,373What is happening?

1700:00:31,374 --> 00:00:33,008I'm defusing the situation.

1800:00:33,009 --> 00:00:36,344♪ ♪

1900:00:36,345 --> 00:00:37,611Whoa...dancing captain.

2000:00:37,647 --> 00:00:39,814Must capture imageof a lifetime!

2100:00:39,815 --> 00:00:41,783Oh, why is my phone always dead?

2200:00:41,784 --> 00:00:43,351I paid $13 for it.

2300:00:43,352 --> 00:00:44,920Don't worry, Jakey.I got it.

2400:00:44,921 --> 00:00:46,054Okay.Oh!

25

00:00:46,055 --> 00:00:48,657Oh, my hands are coveredin butter from making butter.

2600:00:48,658 --> 00:00:49,724I'm on it!

2700:00:49,725 --> 00:00:51,293Must record, must record!

2800:00:51,294 --> 00:00:52,394Camera on.

2900:00:52,395 --> 00:00:53,628All right.Here we go.

3000:00:53,629 --> 00:00:54,729Dancing over.

3100:00:54,730 --> 00:00:56,231Situation defused.

3200:00:56,232 --> 00:00:58,900No!

3300:00:58,901 --> 00:01:02,552Sync & corrections by <font color="#00ff00">Rafael UPD</font><font color="#ffff00">www.addic7ed.com/</font>

3400:01:02,553 --> 00:01:09,910<i>♪♪</i>

3500:01:19,789 --> 00:01:20,789Jakey!

3600:01:20,790 --> 00:01:22,424Hey!

3700:01:22,425 --> 00:01:24,125

Are you guys wearing one scarf?

3800:01:24,126 --> 00:01:25,961Yep, Charlesforgot his this morning.

3900:01:25,962 --> 00:01:27,462It's actually quite romantic.

4000:01:27,463 --> 00:01:28,897I think he did it on purpose.

4100:01:28,898 --> 00:01:31,632Uh, let's just say,I definitely did it on purpose.

4200:01:31,667 --> 00:01:33,201Now, twirl me, darling!

4300:01:33,202 --> 00:01:34,369You got it, sweet potato.

4400:01:34,370 --> 00:01:35,637Ah, I can't get away from you.

4500:01:35,638 --> 00:01:38,406All right,you guys are adorable.

4600:01:38,407 --> 00:01:39,874Tell me everythingthe doctor says

4700:01:39,875 --> 00:01:41,242about your uterine climate.

4800:01:41,243 --> 00:01:42,643Oh, and also that.

4900:01:42,678 --> 00:01:44,144Genevieve and I have big news.

5000:01:44,180 --> 00:01:45,813Is this something otherpeople would keep private?

5100:01:45,848 --> 00:01:47,949Big time!We're trying to have a baby!

5200:01:47,950 --> 00:01:49,451Oh, wow!

5300:01:49,452 --> 00:01:51,086That is awesome.

5400:01:51,087 --> 00:01:53,455But wait, Charles,I thought you were sterile.

5500:01:53,456 --> 00:01:55,490I distinctly rememberyou using the phrase...

5600:01:55,491 --> 00:01:56,558Shooting dust.

5700:01:56,559 --> 00:01:57,792Yes, thank you fornot making me say it.

5800:01:57,793 --> 00:01:59,427Yeah, it's trueI lost the ability

5900:01:59,428 --> 00:02:01,629to procreate after the accident.

6000:02:01,630 --> 00:02:03,998Drop your weapons!

6100:02:04,033 --> 00:02:05,667

[wailing]

6200:02:05,668 --> 00:02:07,135[blows landing]

6300:02:07,136 --> 00:02:09,104[screaming]

6400:02:09,105 --> 00:02:12,007Yeah, I still don't know whyyou dove in crotch first.

6500:02:12,008 --> 00:02:13,541Thankfully, my ex-wife, Eleanor,

6600:02:13,542 --> 00:02:15,677made me get a vasectomya year before that.

6700:02:15,678 --> 00:02:17,812As a precaution,I froze some sperm...

6800:02:17,813 --> 00:02:19,280a lot of sperm.

6900:02:19,281 --> 00:02:22,984Guy going in after mewas like, "Whoa, nice!"

7000:02:22,985 --> 00:02:25,954Wow, he soundslike a gross dude.

7100:02:25,955 --> 00:02:27,255- Yeah.- Should we go into work?

7200:02:27,256 --> 00:02:28,355- Yes.- Great.

7300:02:29,392 --> 00:02:30,992Hey, so do you think maybe

7400:02:30,993 --> 00:02:33,194you're rushing intothe whole baby thing?

7500:02:33,195 --> 00:02:35,195I mean, you guys have onlybeen dating three months.

7600:02:35,231 --> 00:02:36,431She's the one, Jake.

7700:02:36,432 --> 00:02:38,166I'm done withthat playboy lifestyle...

7800:02:38,167 --> 00:02:40,568out till 11:00,drunk on sangria.

7900:02:40,569 --> 00:02:41,736I don't want that anymore.

8000:02:41,737 --> 00:02:42,871I just want to be a papa.

8100:02:42,872 --> 00:02:45,407Okay, yeah, so,hey, this is awesome.

8200:02:45,408 --> 00:02:46,474You're gonna have a baby.

8300:02:46,475 --> 00:02:47,876I know!

8400:02:47,877 --> 00:02:49,544And you're gonna beits best friend.

8500:02:49,545 --> 00:02:51,379Ah, well, based on the age diff,

8600:02:51,380 --> 00:02:54,049maybe more of a fununcle/mentor.

8700:02:54,050 --> 00:02:56,851Baby's best friend.

8800:02:56,852 --> 00:02:59,757All right, so...nonnegotiable.

8900:03:00,656 --> 00:03:01,656Here's the deal, Steven.

9000:03:01,657 --> 00:03:03,324We already got youon shoplifting.

9100:03:03,325 --> 00:03:05,493Now let's talk aboutthe 200 cloned credit cards

9200:03:05,494 --> 00:03:06,561in your bag.

9300:03:06,562 --> 00:03:07,862I'm not saying anything.

9400:03:07,863 --> 00:03:09,764Look, punk, there aretwo ways we can do this...

9500:03:09,765 --> 00:03:11,399the easy way or the hard way.

9600:03:11,400 --> 00:03:13,034Tell him what

the hard way is, boss.

9700:03:13,035 --> 00:03:17,939Well, first, Steven, we'regonna fill out form 38E-J1,

9800:03:17,940 --> 00:03:19,174stating noncompliance.

9900:03:19,175 --> 00:03:21,943We send it to the DA, but dothey process it right away?

10000:03:21,944 --> 00:03:23,945No, because they're overwhelmed

10100:03:23,946 --> 00:03:25,914because Debra'son maternity leave.

10200:03:25,915 --> 00:03:28,349So your court date won't be setfor six or eight weeks,

10300:03:28,350 --> 00:03:30,685and even then, you're gonnahave to block off the whole day,

10400:03:30,686 --> 00:03:33,254because they don'tgive you a specific time.

10500:03:33,255 --> 00:03:36,224No, no, it's a window.

10600:03:36,225 --> 00:03:37,292Sir...

10700:03:37,293 --> 00:03:38,860Can I talk to you for a second?

108

00:03:38,861 --> 00:03:40,594I thought we were gonnato try to scare him.

10900:03:40,629 --> 00:03:42,464There's nothing scarierthan the realities

11000:03:42,465 --> 00:03:43,932of the municipal court system.

11100:03:43,933 --> 00:03:45,433Now, come on;Let's get back in there

11200:03:45,434 --> 00:03:47,435and tell him abouthow bad the website is.

11300:03:47,436 --> 00:03:49,270Look, I'll talk.

11400:03:49,271 --> 00:03:50,705Of course you will.

11500:03:50,706 --> 00:03:52,773But I'll only talk to her.

11600:03:53,843 --> 00:03:56,444You want to talk to Gina?

11700:03:56,445 --> 00:03:58,679Yeah, hi.Do you sell purple pants?

11800:04:00,015 --> 00:04:02,015All right, well, good day, then.

11900:04:02,718 --> 00:04:03,885[sighs]

120

00:04:03,886 --> 00:04:05,386It's not the turnoutI was hoping for.

12100:04:05,387 --> 00:04:07,155Maybe I should'veoffered free strudel;

12200:04:07,156 --> 00:04:08,623Then at leastScully would've come.

12300:04:08,624 --> 00:04:09,924There's free strudel?

12400:04:09,925 --> 00:04:12,527Where the helldid you come from?

12500:04:12,528 --> 00:04:13,761I don't get it.

12600:04:13,762 --> 00:04:15,196I am shocked that more people

12700:04:15,197 --> 00:04:17,565wouldn't want the tutelageof our precinct's...

12800:04:17,566 --> 00:04:20,101nay, our city'smost esteemed sergeant.

12900:04:20,102 --> 00:04:21,302What do you want, Santiago?

13000:04:21,303 --> 00:04:23,471To learn the majestic artof self-defense

13100:04:23,472 --> 00:04:25,673from our city's...

nay, our country's...

13200:04:25,674 --> 00:04:27,208Come on, man, out with it!

13300:04:27,209 --> 00:04:28,308I want to start class.

13400:04:28,344 --> 00:04:30,345Okay, I'm applyingfor a mentorship program

13500:04:30,346 --> 00:04:31,846for up-and-coming detectives.

13600:04:31,847 --> 00:04:33,181It's called"Star Achieving Mentors,

13700:04:33,182 --> 00:04:36,384Star Achieving Mentees,"or SAM-SAM for short.

13800:04:36,385 --> 00:04:37,818Would you write mea recommendation?

13900:04:37,853 --> 00:04:39,087Of course I will.

14000:04:39,088 --> 00:04:40,255You'd be great.

14100:04:40,256 --> 00:04:41,256Thank you, Sarge.

14200:04:41,257 --> 00:04:42,557All right, everyone.

14300:04:42,558 --> 00:04:43,958Pay attention.

14400:04:43,959 --> 00:04:46,494Santiago, I'm gonna come at you,

14500:04:46,495 --> 00:04:48,296and you're gonna take me down.

14600:04:48,297 --> 00:04:49,597You better impress meif you want

14700:04:49,598 --> 00:04:51,166that recommendation to be good.

14800:04:51,167 --> 00:04:52,332I'm gonna try, Sarge.

14900:04:52,368 --> 00:04:54,002All right, here we go.

15000:04:54,003 --> 00:04:55,170[wailing]

15100:04:55,171 --> 00:04:56,171- Oh, no, no!- My nose!

15200:04:56,172 --> 00:04:58,640My nose!You broke my nose!

15300:04:58,641 --> 00:05:00,141Oh, there's so much blood!

15400:05:00,142 --> 00:05:01,409I'm so sorry!

15500:05:01,410 --> 00:05:02,410Get me a towel!

156

00:05:02,411 --> 00:05:03,411Okay, all right.

15700:05:03,412 --> 00:05:05,980And that's what you getfor lying about free strudel.

15800:05:05,981 --> 00:05:07,015Karma's a bitch.

15900:05:07,016 --> 00:05:08,482Get out of here, Scully!

16000:05:10,586 --> 00:05:12,787Case closed, justice served.

16100:05:12,788 --> 00:05:15,689Peralta amazing...oh, God.

16200:05:15,724 --> 00:05:17,225[whispers] Oh, no, no...

16300:05:17,226 --> 00:05:20,328<i>[suspenseful music]</i>

16400:05:20,329 --> 00:05:22,130[whispers] Charles, Charles!

16500:05:22,131 --> 00:05:23,363Your ex-wife is here.

16600:05:23,399 --> 00:05:24,799Eleanor?

16700:05:24,800 --> 00:05:26,534The destroyer of worlds?

16800:05:26,535 --> 00:05:28,036- Why?- Maybe it's nothing bad.

16900:05:28,037 --> 00:05:29,837Maybe some of your mailgot sent to her house.

17000:05:29,838 --> 00:05:31,206Oh, God, I hope not.

17100:05:31,207 --> 00:05:33,040If that happened,she would be livid.

17200:05:33,075 --> 00:05:34,809Oh, well, just don'tassume the worst.

17300:05:34,810 --> 00:05:35,944That's all I'm saying.

17400:05:35,945 --> 00:05:37,178Then why did youbring up the mail thing?

17500:05:37,179 --> 00:05:38,212I don't...

17600:05:39,348 --> 00:05:40,748Hello, Chunk.

17700:05:40,749 --> 00:05:42,283Heard you want your sperm.

17800:05:42,284 --> 00:05:43,551You gonna have to go through me.

17900:05:43,552 --> 00:05:45,653Oh, no, this is way worsethan the mail thing.

18000:05:45,654 --> 00:05:46,821What mail thing?

18100:05:46,822 --> 00:05:48,156Nothing.There's no mail thing.

18200:05:48,157 --> 00:05:49,857There's no mail thing.But it's my sperm.

18300:05:49,858 --> 00:05:51,558How did you evenfind out I wanted it?

18400:05:51,594 --> 00:05:53,361Because the account'sunder my name.

18500:05:53,362 --> 00:05:54,762Storage facilitycalled me saying

18600:05:54,763 --> 00:05:56,464that you were lookingto make a withdrawal.

18700:05:56,465 --> 00:05:58,967So I went aheadand withdrew it for you.

18800:05:58,968 --> 00:06:01,369[whispers]I have all of your sperm.

18900:06:01,370 --> 00:06:03,104But you don't evencare about it, Eleanor.

19000:06:03,105 --> 00:06:04,439I mean, remember?

19100:06:04,440 --> 00:06:05,707"Oh, hey, Charles,

19200:06:05,708 --> 00:06:07,242"I'll never have a baby with you

19300:06:07,243 --> 00:06:08,443"because I don't love you,

19400:06:08,444 --> 00:06:10,378and a child'snot gonna fix that!"

19500:06:10,379 --> 00:06:12,447Oof, when he starteddoing the silly voice,

19600:06:12,448 --> 00:06:15,083I thought it was gonna bemore fun, but... wasn't.

19700:06:15,084 --> 00:06:16,184Well, I do not want your DNA.

19800:06:16,185 --> 00:06:17,218I want something else.

19900:06:17,219 --> 00:06:18,753I hit some dumbass with my car.

20000:06:18,754 --> 00:06:20,555Now he's suing me.

20100:06:20,556 --> 00:06:22,790What I want is for youto use your badge

20200:06:22,791 --> 00:06:25,426and your gun to intimidate himinto dropping the case.

20300:06:25,427 --> 00:06:27,962Wow.

That is so very illegal.

20400:06:27,963 --> 00:06:29,364He's not doing that.

20500:06:29,365 --> 00:06:30,398I don't care.

20600:06:30,399 --> 00:06:34,202You have 48 hours to do so,or I'm gonna take your sperm,

20700:06:34,203 --> 00:06:36,770and I'm gonna dump itinto the East River.

20800:06:36,805 --> 00:06:37,805Please don't do that.

20900:06:37,806 --> 00:06:39,741And there will never be

21000:06:39,742 --> 00:06:45,947the possibility of a little pie-facedCharles Boyle, Jr.

21100:06:45,948 --> 00:06:47,447Proud of it; It's me.

21200:06:49,084 --> 00:06:50,952She can't do that.Can she do that?

21300:06:50,953 --> 00:06:51,953Stay calm.

21400:06:51,954 --> 00:06:54,255We're gonna talk to a lawyerand get a professional opinion.

21500:06:54,256 --> 00:06:55,657

Damn.

21600:06:55,658 --> 00:06:57,659I can't believeyou signed this contract.

21700:06:57,660 --> 00:06:59,794The sperm is herlegal possession.

21800:06:59,795 --> 00:07:01,696It also says that, she...and I quote...

21900:07:01,697 --> 00:07:03,398"Owns your dignity."

22000:07:03,399 --> 00:07:05,066You initialedright next to that.

22100:07:05,067 --> 00:07:07,634Oh, no, Jake,this is a total disaster!

22200:07:07,670 --> 00:07:10,305I'll never be happy in my life.

22300:07:10,306 --> 00:07:11,305Why are you smiling?

22400:07:11,340 --> 00:07:13,608Because this is exactlywhat we've trained for.

22500:07:13,609 --> 00:07:15,276It's a hostage situation,

22600:07:15,277 --> 00:07:17,137and we're gonnabring your boys home.

22700:07:18,874 --> 00:07:21,218All right, Charles, I knowthat you're freaking out

22800:07:21,253 --> 00:07:22,553and you think you're nevergonna be a father,

22900:07:22,554 --> 00:07:23,821but don't worry; There's no way

23000:07:23,822 --> 00:07:26,481I'm gonna let Eleanor doanything to your precious...

23100:07:26,482 --> 00:07:27,949- Boyle oil?- Ugh, all right, I'm out.

23200:07:27,950 --> 00:07:29,117She can do what she wants.

23300:07:29,118 --> 00:07:30,118No, no, no, no, no.

23400:07:30,119 --> 00:07:31,352We'll just call them hostages.

23500:07:31,353 --> 00:07:33,688All right, fine,let's get to work.

23600:07:33,689 --> 00:07:35,423Here's what we knowabout Eleanor.

23700:07:35,424 --> 00:07:36,691Oh, my wedding day.

23800:07:36,692 --> 00:07:38,025I should've known

it was a mistake

23900:07:38,026 --> 00:07:39,660when she said, "I suppose,"instead of, "I do."

24000:07:39,661 --> 00:07:40,762Yowch, all right.

24100:07:40,763 --> 00:07:42,663Hostage taker:Eleanor Horstweil.

24200:07:42,664 --> 00:07:44,899Age: 42.Occupation: Bank manager.

24300:07:44,900 --> 00:07:46,401No priors.Clean bill of health.

24400:07:46,402 --> 00:07:48,469Current husband:Hercules Thikalonos.

24500:07:48,470 --> 00:07:50,605Don't bring him into it.We're actually quite close.

24600:07:50,606 --> 00:07:52,240Noted.You divorced in 2010.

24700:07:52,241 --> 00:07:53,941She got the house, both cars,

24800:07:53,942 --> 00:07:56,043and 85% of your salarygoing forward.

24900:07:56,044 --> 00:07:57,278That's a typo, right?

25000:07:57,279 --> 00:07:59,313- It is not.- How did she get so much?

25100:07:59,314 --> 00:08:01,182My lawyer was Hercules.That's how they met.

25200:08:01,183 --> 00:08:02,583That seems real unethical.

25300:08:02,584 --> 00:08:04,986Again, lay off Hercules.He's quite a decent man.

25400:08:04,987 --> 00:08:07,155All right, look, we needsome sort of bargaining chip.

25500:08:07,156 --> 00:08:09,357Is there anything you gotin the divorce that she wanted?

25600:08:09,358 --> 00:08:10,992Yes... Abigail.

25700:08:10,993 --> 00:08:13,461I'm gonna just assumeAbigail's something super weird.

25800:08:13,462 --> 00:08:15,029Nope.She was our hairdresser.

25900:08:15,030 --> 00:08:16,030Ah, okay.

26000:08:16,031 --> 00:08:17,031It was awkward for her

261

00:08:17,032 --> 00:08:18,566to see both of us,so she made us choose.

26200:08:18,567 --> 00:08:19,934I mean, I couldn'tget rid of her.

26300:08:19,935 --> 00:08:22,370She's the only stylistin New York that can do this.

26400:08:22,371 --> 00:08:25,440Right, and do you thinkEleanor still wants Abigail?

26500:08:25,441 --> 00:08:27,275I mean, you saw her hair today.

26600:08:27,276 --> 00:08:29,877[chuckles]It's all volume, no sheen.

26700:08:29,878 --> 00:08:30,878[both laughing]

26800:08:30,879 --> 00:08:32,113Okay, maybe we can use this.

26900:08:32,114 --> 00:08:33,981Time to put onour negotiation faces.

27000:08:33,982 --> 00:08:36,517Not too intimidatingbut always in control.

27100:08:36,518 --> 00:08:37,851How's this?

27200:08:39,288 --> 00:08:41,989Oh, as if you don't know

it's perfect.

27300:08:41,990 --> 00:08:43,790Hey, Sergeant.

27400:08:43,826 --> 00:08:44,892How are you?

27500:08:44,893 --> 00:08:46,060Well, my baby cries

27600:08:46,061 --> 00:08:48,463at the sight of my face now,so that's great.

27700:08:48,464 --> 00:08:50,298I mean, she's a baby;

27800:08:50,299 --> 00:08:52,133She could be crying at anything.

27900:08:52,134 --> 00:08:54,902Nope, she pointed rightat my nose and then threw up.

28000:08:54,903 --> 00:08:56,838What do you want, Santiago?

28100:08:56,839 --> 00:08:58,506I was just wonderingif you finished

28200:08:58,507 --> 00:09:00,408writingthat recommendation letter.

28300:09:00,409 --> 00:09:01,909It's due pretty soon.

28400:09:01,910 --> 00:09:02,944I'm working on it.

28500:09:02,945 --> 00:09:04,078It's taking a little while

28600:09:04,079 --> 00:09:06,647because it's hard to concentrate,what with all the agony.

28700:09:06,648 --> 00:09:09,784Okay, well, thank youfor still doing it.

28800:09:09,785 --> 00:09:12,920If it helps, I brought yousome soothing ginger tea.

28900:09:12,921 --> 00:09:15,856Will it repair the placewhere my nose came off my skull?

29000:09:15,891 --> 00:09:19,227I don't know, but it's supposedto have healing vapors.

29100:09:19,228 --> 00:09:21,062So try inhaling it?

29200:09:21,063 --> 00:09:23,597Oh, thank you.

29300:09:25,634 --> 00:09:27,301[screaming] It burns!

29400:09:27,302 --> 00:09:28,636- Oh!- The vapors burn!

29500:09:28,637 --> 00:09:30,505- I'm sorry! I'll take it back!- [screaming]

296

00:09:30,506 --> 00:09:33,106Oh, God, I'm sorry!I'll get some cold water!

29700:09:33,141 --> 00:09:35,209No, no, don't.

29800:09:35,210 --> 00:09:37,712I am petrified of you!

29900:09:37,713 --> 00:09:40,715All right, remember,this is a negotiation.

30000:09:40,716 --> 00:09:42,617We can't let her knowhow badly you want this.

30100:09:42,618 --> 00:09:43,985Jake, what ifshe destroys the sperm?

30200:09:43,986 --> 00:09:45,620She's not gonnado that, Charles,

30300:09:45,621 --> 00:09:47,288because thenshe'd have no leverage.

30400:09:47,289 --> 00:09:50,224All right, you know this;They never shoot the hostage.

30500:09:50,225 --> 00:09:51,659Hey!

30600:09:51,660 --> 00:09:53,928Did you threatenthat 90-year-old man for me yet?

30700:09:53,929 --> 00:09:56,030

What?The guy you hit was 90?

30800:09:56,031 --> 00:09:58,199Yeah, and you would knowthat if you had talked to him,

30900:09:58,200 --> 00:10:00,001which obviously you did not,so good-bye!

31000:10:00,002 --> 00:10:01,469No, no, wait, wait, look.

31100:10:01,470 --> 00:10:03,137We can't help you outuntil we know that

31200:10:03,138 --> 00:10:05,306you actually have the samples.

31300:10:05,307 --> 00:10:06,874We need proof of life.

31400:10:06,875 --> 00:10:08,042I'd be happy to dump

31500:10:08,043 --> 00:10:09,644one of the containersout of the window.

31600:10:09,645 --> 00:10:11,045No, no, no, don't do that,please!

31700:10:11,046 --> 00:10:12,547Don't dumb my sperm on us!

31800:10:12,548 --> 00:10:14,982Hello, ma'am.Top of the morning to you.

31900:10:14,983 --> 00:10:17,317All right, look,if you let us upstairs...

32000:10:18,420 --> 00:10:19,920We'll give you Abigail.

32100:10:22,257 --> 00:10:23,558I'll buzz you in.

32200:10:23,559 --> 00:10:25,626And that is how it's done.

32300:10:25,627 --> 00:10:27,628Like taking candy from a baby.

32400:10:27,629 --> 00:10:29,430Why would you bring upbabies right now?

32500:10:29,431 --> 00:10:32,266- It's a saying.- Who would do that?

32600:10:32,267 --> 00:10:34,936The question is, why would someonewant to talk to Gina?

32700:10:34,937 --> 00:10:36,037That's very rude.

32800:10:36,038 --> 00:10:37,271It's obviouswhy the guy wants to talk

32900:10:37,272 --> 00:10:38,806to a civilian like her;He's stalling.

33000:10:38,807 --> 00:10:40,007That's also rude.

33100:10:40,008 --> 00:10:41,609Maybe he wants to talkto a normal person

33200:10:41,610 --> 00:10:43,511instead of two rude cops.

33300:10:43,512 --> 00:10:45,613Well, whatever his reason,we have no other choice.

33400:10:45,614 --> 00:10:46,948Gina take his statement.

33500:10:46,949 --> 00:10:48,349Yes, thank you!

33600:10:48,350 --> 00:10:49,584I'm gonna get this guy to admit

33700:10:49,585 --> 00:10:51,152to crimes he hasn'teven committed.

33800:10:51,153 --> 00:10:53,254No, that would bea huge problem.

33900:10:53,255 --> 00:10:54,522Copy that.

34000:10:54,523 --> 00:10:56,023We'll get you a file on himso you can study up.

34100:10:56,024 --> 00:10:58,025That won't be necessary.I'm gonna go with my gut.

34200:10:58,026 --> 00:10:59,427

He asked for Gina.

34300:10:59,428 --> 00:11:01,728Let's give the peoplewhat they want.

34400:11:06,068 --> 00:11:08,202Steven, Steven, Steven...

34500:11:08,203 --> 00:11:09,569You mind if I take a seat?

34600:11:09,605 --> 00:11:11,271Go for it.

34700:11:12,441 --> 00:11:13,441Oh, boy.

34800:11:13,442 --> 00:11:14,942Look, I'm not a cop.

34900:11:14,943 --> 00:11:16,744I don't really like cops.

35000:11:16,745 --> 00:11:19,880Honestly, I thinkcrime's kind of cool.

35100:11:19,915 --> 00:11:22,182- Okay.- Yeah, you get it.

35200:11:22,217 --> 00:11:24,051Are we still holding out hopethat this might work?

35300:11:24,052 --> 00:11:25,752I am.Let's give her a shot.

35400:11:25,787 --> 00:11:28,256

I feel like you and meare really bonding.

35500:11:28,257 --> 00:11:29,724I'm ready to give you immunity.

35600:11:29,725 --> 00:11:31,291<i>No, you're not.That's not happening!</i>

35700:11:31,326 --> 00:11:32,425Gina, come out of there.

35800:11:32,461 --> 00:11:33,594Negative.

35900:11:33,595 --> 00:11:36,230The guy wanted to talkto a real person, not a cop.

36000:11:36,231 --> 00:11:37,697That's why he asked for me.

36100:11:37,733 --> 00:11:39,400Actually, I asked for you

36200:11:39,401 --> 00:11:41,368because we wentto high school together.

36300:11:41,403 --> 00:11:43,104- What?- Steven Henderson.

36400:11:43,105 --> 00:11:45,106We had a bunchof classes together.

36500:11:45,107 --> 00:11:47,942Steven Henderson...we made out once on the bus.

36600:11:47,943 --> 00:11:50,477I mean...do you not remember me?

36700:11:50,512 --> 00:11:53,313Uh...

36800:11:55,250 --> 00:11:56,249Eleanor.

36900:11:56,251 --> 00:11:57,250Jake.

37000:11:57,286 --> 00:11:58,585Charles.

37100:11:58,620 --> 00:11:59,953Okay, you justsaid your own name, bud.

37200:11:59,988 --> 00:12:01,288It was the only one left.

37300:12:01,323 --> 00:12:04,492Okay, so we havegiven you Abigail.

37400:12:04,493 --> 00:12:05,660Now it's time for you

37500:12:05,661 --> 00:12:07,361to make goodon your side of the deal,

37600:12:07,362 --> 00:12:09,363and... I can't believeI'm saying this...

37700:12:09,364 --> 00:12:11,465show us Charles' sperm.

37800:12:11,466 --> 00:12:12,999It's my sperm.

37900:12:13,035 --> 00:12:14,201It's in the freezer.

38000:12:14,202 --> 00:12:16,036I'll be right back.

38100:12:16,071 --> 00:12:17,672Are you sure you knowwhat you're doing?

38200:12:17,673 --> 00:12:19,339Abigail was our onlybargaining chip.

38300:12:19,374 --> 00:12:20,608Don't worry.I have a plan.

38400:12:20,609 --> 00:12:21,976As soonas she comes back in here,

38500:12:21,977 --> 00:12:23,311I'm gonna grab that cupright out of her hands

38600:12:23,312 --> 00:12:24,311and run like hell.

38700:12:24,313 --> 00:12:25,313You think that'll work?

38800:12:25,314 --> 00:12:26,547I don't just think it will.

38900:12:26,548 --> 00:12:28,348I know it might.

39000:12:28,383 --> 00:12:31,585Here it is... cold and sad.Just like you.

39100:12:31,620 --> 00:12:33,454How do I knowthat that's really Charles'?

39200:12:33,455 --> 00:12:35,990I'm gonna have to readthe label up close.

39300:12:35,991 --> 00:12:37,757If I could just takea look...[laughs]

39400:12:37,793 --> 00:12:40,260- Go, Boyle!- [shouts]

39500:12:40,295 --> 00:12:42,162You really thinkI'm that stupid?

39600:12:42,197 --> 00:12:46,801It's called a dummy cup,dummies.

39700:12:46,802 --> 00:12:48,669Damn it.She's right; It's empty.

39800:12:48,670 --> 00:12:50,271- Oh...- I'm actually kind of relieved.

39900:12:50,272 --> 00:12:51,538I did not want to see that.

40000:12:51,573 --> 00:12:53,373You two are messing withthe wrong woman.

40100:12:53,408 --> 00:12:55,609And now you're gonna pay for it.

40200:12:55,644 --> 00:12:57,010- Wait, wait!- Eleanor, Eleanor!

40300:12:57,045 --> 00:12:59,346There are two real containers.

40400:12:59,381 --> 00:13:03,718One is in a safe location,and this is the other one.

40500:13:03,719 --> 00:13:07,555Or rather, it<i> was</i> the other one.

40600:13:07,556 --> 00:13:08,556[clattering]

40700:13:08,557 --> 00:13:09,556No!

40800:13:09,558 --> 00:13:11,926[garbage disposal churning]

40900:13:11,927 --> 00:13:13,593She shot a hostage.

41000:13:16,512 --> 00:13:18,480Charles, what are you doing?

41100:13:18,481 --> 00:13:20,549I'm sorry, but I don'thave a choice, Jake.

41200:13:20,550 --> 00:13:21,883I'm gonna go bully an old priest

413

00:13:21,884 --> 00:13:23,584so I can get my sperms back.

41400:13:23,619 --> 00:13:24,786He's a priest?

41500:13:24,787 --> 00:13:26,121Yeah, I looked him up.

41600:13:26,122 --> 00:13:28,924He's a priest,a 90-year-old priest.

41700:13:28,925 --> 00:13:30,758But don't worry.I'm not gonna hurt him.

41800:13:30,793 --> 00:13:32,693I'm just gonna casually yawn...

41900:13:34,363 --> 00:13:36,597Thereby exposingmy gun and badge.

42000:13:36,632 --> 00:13:38,999Listen, you can't do this,Charles; It's illegal.

42100:13:39,035 --> 00:13:40,035I have to.

42200:13:40,036 --> 00:13:42,070You saw what Eleanor didto millions of my babies.

42300:13:42,071 --> 00:13:43,371I heard them scream!

42400:13:43,372 --> 00:13:44,371That was you.

425

00:13:44,407 --> 00:13:46,541I am them, and they are me.

42600:13:46,542 --> 00:13:48,876You could go to prison, okay?

42700:13:50,146 --> 00:13:51,746You're right.You're right.

42800:13:51,747 --> 00:13:53,281What am I thinking?

42900:13:53,282 --> 00:13:55,417Thank youfor looking out for me...

43000:13:55,418 --> 00:13:57,051- Yeah.- Friend.

43100:13:58,087 --> 00:13:59,321No!What...

43200:13:59,322 --> 00:14:00,489oh, Charles, what are you doing?

43300:14:00,490 --> 00:14:02,991No, no, no, no, no!Not the keys, no!

43400:14:02,992 --> 00:14:04,626Oh, I should've known.

43500:14:04,627 --> 00:14:06,428You're a hugger, not a shaker.

43600:14:06,429 --> 00:14:08,195It was the most painful thingI've ever done,

43700:14:08,231 --> 00:14:10,798and I've taken three ofmy grandparents off life support.

43800:14:10,833 --> 00:14:12,534How are youalways in charge of that?

43900:14:12,535 --> 00:14:14,736Wait, Charles,do not get in that car!

44000:14:14,737 --> 00:14:16,103- He's getting in the car.- Sorry.

44100:14:16,138 --> 00:14:17,372Don't you drive away!

44200:14:17,373 --> 00:14:18,573He's driving away.

44300:14:18,574 --> 00:14:20,975[tires screeching] Charles!

44400:14:21,010 --> 00:14:22,210[computer beeps]

44500:14:22,211 --> 00:14:24,412[gasps] I just gotan email from SAM-SAM.

44600:14:24,413 --> 00:14:26,414Rejected?

44700:14:26,415 --> 00:14:28,249I've never been rejectedfrom anything.

44800:14:28,284 --> 00:14:29,351Me neither.

44900:14:29,352 --> 00:14:31,686Oops, did you sayrejected or ejected?

45000:14:31,687 --> 00:14:33,087I've been rejected a lot.

45100:14:33,122 --> 00:14:34,422I don't understand.

45200:14:34,423 --> 00:14:36,457My application was so good.

45300:14:36,492 --> 00:14:38,926You know what?I've also been ejected.

45400:14:38,961 --> 00:14:41,061Flume ride, Topeka, Kansas.

45500:14:41,097 --> 00:14:42,129How did this happen?

45600:14:42,164 --> 00:14:44,199Just forgot to put on the belt.

45700:14:44,200 --> 00:14:45,332Jeffords.

45800:14:45,368 --> 00:14:46,734Good talk, Ames.

45900:14:50,773 --> 00:14:52,207You wrote mea bad recommendation.

46000:14:52,208 --> 00:14:53,441How could you?

461

00:14:53,442 --> 00:14:55,776- Excuse me?- It's the only explanation!

46200:14:55,811 --> 00:14:57,312You're madthat I broke your face

46300:14:57,313 --> 00:14:58,813and I burned your whole body.

46400:14:58,814 --> 00:15:00,781Well, grow up!

46500:15:00,816 --> 00:15:03,051Grow up?

46600:15:03,052 --> 00:15:05,320I have a Roth IRA!

46700:15:05,321 --> 00:15:07,454I eat wheat toast!You grow up!

46800:15:07,490 --> 00:15:08,957You know what?

46900:15:08,958 --> 00:15:11,793Here's the letter that I sent.

47000:15:11,794 --> 00:15:14,262"Amy Santiago is oneof the finest detectives

47100:15:14,263 --> 00:15:17,998in my precinct...nay, the entire NYPD."

47200:15:18,034 --> 00:15:20,367Yeah, I evenused the word "nay."

47300:15:20,403 --> 00:15:26,408The idea that you wouldquestion my integrity is so...

47400:15:26,409 --> 00:15:29,911Uh-oh, I got to sneeze.This is gonna hurt!

47500:15:29,912 --> 00:15:31,513Oh, oh, God.

47600:15:31,514 --> 00:15:33,615[sneezing]

47700:15:33,616 --> 00:15:34,882[screaming]

47800:15:34,917 --> 00:15:36,484Oh, Hitchcock, thank God!

47900:15:36,485 --> 00:15:38,153Handcuffed yourself to a car?

48000:15:38,154 --> 00:15:39,153Been there.

48100:15:39,188 --> 00:15:40,922What?No, Charles did this.

48200:15:40,923 --> 00:15:43,524Here, quick, hand me those keys.

48300:15:43,559 --> 00:15:44,926Here we go.

48400:15:44,927 --> 00:15:46,193What will you give me for them?

48500:15:46,228 --> 00:15:48,195

Seriously?What do you want?

48600:15:48,230 --> 00:15:50,230A dollar for a soda;Mine are all wet.

48700:15:50,266 --> 00:15:51,899Yes, obviously,I'll give you that!

48800:15:51,934 --> 00:15:52,934Bam!

48900:15:52,935 --> 00:15:55,703A soda only costs 75¢, you fool.

49000:15:55,738 --> 00:15:57,905See you later, sucker!

49100:15:57,940 --> 00:15:59,607Didn't even give him the dollar.

49200:16:00,743 --> 00:16:02,242I know it seems like I blew it,

49300:16:02,278 --> 00:16:04,311but you got to give meanother crack at him.

49400:16:04,347 --> 00:16:06,880Now that I'm awareof our fascinating past,

49500:16:06,916 --> 00:16:08,416I have all the ammo that I need.

49600:16:08,417 --> 00:16:09,884Perhaps you would'vehad that ammo

497

00:16:09,885 --> 00:16:11,552if you had read the fileDiaz offered you.

49800:16:11,587 --> 00:16:14,154No doubt. No doubt.Gina culpa.

49900:16:14,190 --> 00:16:16,557Okay, you get one more chance.

50000:16:16,592 --> 00:16:18,859I will not let you down.

50100:16:18,894 --> 00:16:23,698Steven, Steven, Steven,I have one question.

50200:16:23,699 --> 00:16:25,433Who on the basketball teamwas into me?

50300:16:25,434 --> 00:16:26,801I want names.

50400:16:26,802 --> 00:16:28,036What?

50500:16:28,037 --> 00:16:29,704We don't have timeto play games, Steven.

50600:16:29,705 --> 00:16:30,872That's it.I'm pulling her.

50700:16:30,873 --> 00:16:32,641No, no, let her keep going.

50800:16:32,642 --> 00:16:34,274<i>Question two...</i>

50900:16:34,310 --> 00:16:36,777Who on the lacrosse teamis into me,

51000:16:36,812 --> 00:16:39,246and which one themaged the best?

51100:16:39,281 --> 00:16:40,615<i>♪ A whole lot of woman... ♪</i>

51200:16:40,616 --> 00:16:41,783<i>[rock music playing]</i>

51300:16:41,784 --> 00:16:43,284<i>♪ A whole lot of... ♪</i>

51400:16:43,285 --> 00:16:46,187<i>In 4,000 feet, stay straight.</i>

51500:16:46,188 --> 00:16:48,089You interruptedthe song for that?

51600:16:48,090 --> 00:16:50,491<i>♪♪</i>

51700:16:51,427 --> 00:16:52,427Hello.

51800:16:52,428 --> 00:16:56,097Father, I understand youwere recently involved

51900:16:56,098 --> 00:16:59,199in an automobile accidentwith an Eleanor Horstweil.

52000:16:59,235 --> 00:17:03,271Oh, yes, uh,

she came up onto the sidewalk

52100:17:03,272 --> 00:17:05,406and fractured my hip.

52200:17:05,441 --> 00:17:07,307You were a pedestrian?

52300:17:07,343 --> 00:17:09,744Are you technically a pedestrian

52400:17:09,745 --> 00:17:11,812if you're sitting on a bench?

52500:17:11,847 --> 00:17:13,181Sitting on a bench...

52600:17:13,182 --> 00:17:15,183Well, okay,I don't want to tell you

52700:17:15,184 --> 00:17:22,524to drop your suit against her,but I sure am getting sleepy.

52800:17:22,525 --> 00:17:24,693Excuse me?

52900:17:24,694 --> 00:17:27,562Yawns a-coming.[yawns]

53000:17:27,563 --> 00:17:29,431[electric buzzing] [screaming]

53100:17:29,432 --> 00:17:30,932I got you.

53200:17:30,933 --> 00:17:32,000Hi there.I'm Jake.

53300:17:32,001 --> 00:17:33,401This is my best friend, Charles.

53400:17:33,402 --> 00:17:34,935He's trying to have a baby.You get it.

53500:17:34,970 --> 00:17:36,236Now, come here, you.

53600:17:41,839 --> 00:17:45,040Charles, I know you're mad,but you have to talk to me.

53700:17:45,076 --> 00:17:46,676It's funny howgetting tased in the back

53800:17:46,677 --> 00:17:49,845can break your heart and alsoreally hurt your back.

53900:17:49,881 --> 00:17:51,381I'm sorry.

54000:17:51,382 --> 00:17:53,984I really wanted to bea papa, and you ruined it.

54100:17:53,985 --> 00:17:55,285You pop-blocked me.

54200:17:55,286 --> 00:17:57,621I know, but I couldn'tlet you break the law.

54300:17:57,622 --> 00:18:00,022And I won't let Eleanorturn you into a bad person.

544

00:18:00,057 --> 00:18:01,590What other choice do I have?

54500:18:01,626 --> 00:18:04,294There's always a choice, Charles

54600:18:04,295 --> 00:18:06,797And by the way,DNA is not the only thing

54700:18:06,798 --> 00:18:08,565that makes somebodyinto a father.

54800:18:08,566 --> 00:18:10,233I mean,not that it's any of my business,

54900:18:10,234 --> 00:18:13,035but I have biological father,and he's a nightmare.

55000:18:13,070 --> 00:18:14,370He never played catch with me.

55100:18:14,405 --> 00:18:15,839He never taught mehow to ride a bike.

55200:18:15,840 --> 00:18:17,773I had to learn how to shavefrom watching "Home Alone."

55300:18:17,809 --> 00:18:19,643Makes sense; It's like"Die Hard" for kids.

55400:18:19,644 --> 00:18:21,778Plus, is this howyou really want it to go?

55500:18:21,779 --> 00:18:24,815

Eleanor controlling your life,ruining your career?

55600:18:24,816 --> 00:18:25,915So what do I do?

55700:18:25,950 --> 00:18:27,616Honestly, I don't know.

55800:18:27,652 --> 00:18:29,753But I do know that you'regonna be a great dad

55900:18:29,754 --> 00:18:31,387with or without your...

56000:18:31,422 --> 00:18:33,657- Boyle oil.- Nope, not gonna say it.

56100:18:33,658 --> 00:18:35,058But you will.

56200:18:35,059 --> 00:18:37,794There's still time lefton Eleanor's deadline.

56300:18:37,795 --> 00:18:39,462I'm gonna unlock this door.

56400:18:39,463 --> 00:18:41,030You do what you got to do.

56500:18:41,065 --> 00:18:42,421[door buzzes and clicks]

56600:18:45,670 --> 00:18:47,036That seems like a bad sign.

56700:18:47,071 --> 00:18:50,639Hey, Santiago, you know why

you didn't get into SAM-SAM?

56800:18:50,675 --> 00:18:53,610Probably because I used a modernformat on my cover letter

56900:18:53,611 --> 00:18:56,079that put my email abovemy home address.

57000:18:56,080 --> 00:18:57,813Why take such a risk?

57100:18:57,849 --> 00:19:01,617No, I sent the recommendationletter to the wrong place.

57200:19:01,652 --> 00:19:04,386I thought you were applyingto be a mentor, not a mentee.

57300:19:04,422 --> 00:19:06,957You thought I wantedto be a SAM, not a SAM?

57400:19:06,958 --> 00:19:08,123Are you insane?

57500:19:08,159 --> 00:19:09,558Well, you should be a SAM.

57600:19:09,594 --> 00:19:11,126No, I should be a SAM.

57700:19:11,162 --> 00:19:13,063We got to start sayingsomething other than SAM

57800:19:13,064 --> 00:19:15,164because we are barrelingtoward a misunderstanding.

57900:19:15,199 --> 00:19:18,535Amy, you are readyto be teaching others.

58000:19:18,536 --> 00:19:21,003I made a call;You're going to be a mentor.

58100:19:21,038 --> 00:19:23,540Oh, my God...

58200:19:23,541 --> 00:19:25,108Sergeant, I'm so sorry

58300:19:25,109 --> 00:19:26,643for ever questioningyour integrity.

58400:19:26,644 --> 00:19:27,644Thank you so much...

58500:19:27,645 --> 00:19:28,844No, no, no, stand back.

58600:19:28,880 --> 00:19:30,913Look, I'm stillvery scared of you.

58700:19:30,948 --> 00:19:33,649Good news.I got Steven to talk.

58800:19:33,684 --> 00:19:35,318Diaz, fantastic.How did you do it?

58900:19:35,319 --> 00:19:38,054Did you finally show himthe municipal court website

59000:19:38,055 --> 00:19:39,788

and the pulldown menusyou can't click on?

59100:19:39,824 --> 00:19:42,259No, I found somethingwe bonded over.

59200:19:42,260 --> 00:19:44,394She didn't even know who I was.

59300:19:44,395 --> 00:19:45,996And we were good friends.

59400:19:45,997 --> 00:19:47,998On more than one occasion,she's called me Gina.

59500:19:47,999 --> 00:19:49,666That's her own name.

59600:19:49,667 --> 00:19:50,867No, she didn't.

59700:19:50,868 --> 00:19:52,702We complained aboutGina for an hour,

59800:19:52,703 --> 00:19:54,471and then he opened up...gave me the name

59900:19:54,472 --> 00:19:55,939of the guy he works for.

60000:19:55,940 --> 00:20:00,277I have never beenso insulted in my entire life.

60100:20:00,278 --> 00:20:02,545I'm not gonna work casesfor you guys anymore.

60200:20:02,546 --> 00:20:04,147We were nevergoing to ask you to.

60300:20:04,148 --> 00:20:06,016[chuckles]

60400:20:06,017 --> 00:20:08,617You just lostyour best detective.

60500:20:12,723 --> 00:20:14,858Charles, thank God.What happened?

60600:20:14,859 --> 00:20:16,192- I did it.- Did what?

60700:20:16,193 --> 00:20:18,228I'm freaking out over here;You stormed off.

60800:20:18,229 --> 00:20:20,063Yeah, becauseI was inspired by you.

60900:20:20,064 --> 00:20:22,565I ran all the way toEleanor's house to tell her off.

61000:20:22,566 --> 00:20:23,733What do you want, Chunk?

61100:20:23,734 --> 00:20:26,269To let you knowyou can keep my sperm.

61200:20:26,270 --> 00:20:27,737I don't need it.

613

00:20:27,738 --> 00:20:29,906I'm in loveand I'm going to be a dad,

61400:20:29,907 --> 00:20:32,042and there's nothingyou could do to stop me.

61500:20:32,043 --> 00:20:33,276So good-bye forever.

61600:20:33,277 --> 00:20:34,778Oh, and one more thing...

61700:20:34,779 --> 00:20:36,880tell Hercules I'll see himat spin class on Sunday.

61800:20:36,881 --> 00:20:38,114Now good-bye!

61900:20:38,115 --> 00:20:39,416- How do you guys feel?- Great.

62000:20:39,417 --> 00:20:41,418We were looking atpossible donors on the way over.

62100:20:41,419 --> 00:20:43,920Yeah, yeah, yeah.Check out this guy.

62200:20:43,921 --> 00:20:45,422I like him; He want to Yale.

62300:20:45,423 --> 00:20:47,190Oh, wait, that says"Yeal University."

62400:20:47,191 --> 00:20:48,358Swipe him off.

62500:20:48,359 --> 00:20:49,893This is fun...oh, that's weird.

62600:20:49,894 --> 00:20:51,361That guy kind of lookslike my dad.

62700:20:51,362 --> 00:20:53,363Wait a minute.That is my dad.

62800:20:53,364 --> 00:20:54,698You cannot use his sperm.

62900:20:54,699 --> 00:20:55,899You cannot use his sperm.

63000:20:55,900 --> 00:20:57,192My son would be your brother!

63100:20:57,193 --> 00:21:01,155Sync & corrections by <font color="#00ff00">Rafael UPD</font><font color="#ffff00">www.addic7ed.com/</font>