Bringing the Best Out of People

Presented by:Dr. Adrienne Pasek

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Outline of the day• Navigating emotions• Perceptions, feelings, absolutes• Communication • Ten Commandments for resolving conflict • Neutrality • Techniques for disagreeing without taking a

position• Negotiating• Finding common ground

Navigating Emotions• Perceptions

• Feelings

• Absolutes

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ABSOLUTESThings will happen that you cannot control

You cannot change that which is out of your control

The only change you can make is within yourself and

Things will happen that you cannot control

PerceptionsReality is just a perception

Perception is a combination of beliefs, values, experiences

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SCHEMASUnderlying cognitive

structures and rules that consist of core beliefs and that determine how we codify, categorize, interpret experiences

Develop early in life

Beck, (1967, 1984)

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DYSFUNCTIONAL SCHEMAS

impair reality and the ability to think reasonably

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Six Universal Feelings

Anger

Disgust

Fear

Happiness

Sadness

Surprise

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CommunicationSpeaking

Conveys meaning

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ListeningInterpretation of what was heard

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Communication Research• 7% of meaning is derived from the spoken

word

• 38% of meaning is paralinguistic (the way the words are spoken)

• 55% of meaning is derived from facial expression

Rules of Engagement

What is the purpose of the message?

(Why do I need to know this?)

informational, educational, personal

What do you need me to feel?

(universal feelings)

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More Rules of Engagement• Behavior is an outward

expression of feelings/thoughts/perceptions

Neutrality• Techniques

• Tactics

• Strategies

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Negotiation Finding Common

Ground

Sandbox 101