Three Ages Project Final Paper

Allison Slocum

4/8/15

Webber, Education 245-50

“I have neither given nor received help on this work not am I aware of any infraction of

the Honor Code.”

Introduction

I interviewed seven-year-old Ava over Face Time video chat and I chose to

interview her because she really enjoys talking and I knew she would provide me with

responses that were complete and directly reiterated her true thoughts (Sample A). I

interviewed my twelve-year-old cousin Julie who is always very cooperative and she was

able to give me very intelligent responses as I expected (Sample B). Lastly, I interviewed

a seventeen-year-old boy in my family, which allowed me to incorporate a male

perspective within my project (Sample C). I conducted the interviews with Sample B and

Sample C in person in my own home. I recorded each of the participant’s responses with

video recordings, which allowed me to ensure that I was precise and accurate in regards

to my interview notes and since I wasn’t jotting down notes, I was able to engage in a

more active conversation with each subject. I am researching and focusing on family and

peer environment in regards to a child’s socio-emotional development. I expect that the

older the participant, the more developed relationships and social understanding they will

have. For example, I will not be surprised if seven-year-old Sample A has no answer for

questions like “Why do you like your friends?”. I am also expecting that the children

will have very different views on issues such as dishonesty, whether it concerns cheating

on tests or playing unfairly on the soccer field, based on the stage of development they

are in.

Sample A Interview

1) What is your favorite thing to do in your free time? “Playing, going fun places,

and playing with my American Girl Dolls” Who do you like to spend your free

time with? “My parents and grandparents” Would you prefer to spend this free

time alone or with others? “Sometimes I like to be alone to get things done but

sometimes I like to be with people incase they have something fun to do”

2) Do you enjoy school? “Sometimes. But sometimes like when I am tired I just

want to stay home and play” What is something you like about school? “I like

doing arts and crafts and watching videos and watching Magic School Bus” What

is something you dislike about going to school? “Well I don’t like the worksheets

and there are boring times where she keeps speaking and speaking and speaking

and speaking” Do you always get along with your classmates? “Yes I always do

unless they are bullying me

3) Do you get along with your teachers? “Yes” What happens when you don’t like

something your teacher says? “When she gives worksheets I say oh I don’t want

to do this and ask if I have to” What does your teacher do when you aren’t

following directions? “She tells us its not right”

4) What happens when you do something your parents tell you not to do? “There are

punishments and I get in trouble like I have to go to time out or have bed-time

early.” Do your parents yell at you in front of other people? “Yes sometimes they

yell at me in public because they are not proud of me” How does this make you

feel “It just makes me feel really bad because I did something wrong”

5) Who do you ask for help when you need it? “I ask a grown up like a parent or

teacher” Why? “Because I know they are smart and will know the answer and I

can’t really believe kids” Are the grown ups able to help you with your problems

most of the time? “Not all the time and if they don’t then sometimes I have to ask

a kid”

6) How do you make friends in school? “Well by being nice and just friendly” Is

making friends easy or difficult for you? “Pretty much easy but sometimes

difficult” What is something you look for in a friend? “Uh I don’t know it

depends on if it’s easy or difficult”

7) How do you react when you know a friend is being dishonest? “Well at Tae

Kwon Doe this girl wore fake sunglasses and was saying they were real and she

kept saying it but I was poking her glasses and there was nothing there and then

she said she was lying. She is in fifth grade she is old and she was lying. I told

her that if she keeps lying she’s going to end up in jail because lying is bad and

will get you in jail” Is lying ever okay? “No! Never”

8) Would you consider yourself a good friend? “Yea sometimes except when my

bully is being mean I stomp around because I just get so mad” How do you cheer

up a friend when they are feeling down” Are your friends there for you when you

need them? “Sometimes” What cheers you up when you are sad? “Well all of my

friends and family and my parents and just anyone in my family really”

9) What are some things you do that make your parents proud? “Well if I read a very

long word that they’ve taught me over and over or if I pretty much just do

something that’s unexpected” How do you feel when your parents are proud of

you? “I feel proud because I am free”

10) What is a quality you don’t like to see in a person? “Huh?” What is something

you don’t like people for, like if they are a mean person, or a dishonest person? “I

don’t like when this one girl plays with her hair all the time she is only 5 and she

always just tries to be beautiful. Also I don’t like when people are mean.” How do

you treat her even though you don’t like how she acts sometimes? “Well if people

are mean I just walk away or I say that’s mean I’m going to go tell my daddy”

11) What is your favorite game to play and how do you play it? “Scrabble!” What

happens if someone changes the rules? “I get mad when people tell me what to

do” Do you always play fair? “Sometimes no and my friends get mad at me if I

sometimes play wrong and I feel really badly” How do you feel when someone

cheats “Bad because then they will win and they don’t know how to play and they

don’t know they’re cheating but I know they are cheating”

Sample B Interview

1) What is your favorite thing to do in your free time? “I like to write” How often?

“Well for school a lot of times we have a writing prompt that we have to do and

also sometimes I write stories with my friends” Would you prefer spending this

free time with others or alone? “With others” Why? “With my friends because

usually I will write a story and they will write one back. But sometimes I prefer

writing alone because I don’t really get distracted but I do like to share my writing

with other people afterwards”

2) Do you enjoy school? “Yes I like school (smiles)” Why? “I like all my teachers

and all of my friends are there and I just like to learn” What is something you

dislike about going to school? “Not really, just that for middle school I’m going to

be going to a different school than all of my friends” Do you get along with your

classmates? “Yes” What do you do if you don’t agree with something a classmate

says or does? “That doesn’t really happen a lot but I guess when it does, I don’t

know”

3) Do you get along with your teachers? “yes” What happens if you don’t like

something your teacher is doing? “I don’t know. Usually I just go along with it. I

mean most of my teachers are usually really understanding and they don’t do

that” What does your teacher do if you aren’t following directions? “She doesn’t

yell at us she just like sometimes says our names and tells us to pay attention. But

if it happens too much she will punish us a little”

4) What happens when you do something your parents tell you not to do? “They

don’t really punish us a lot. They mainly just tell us it was bad and then they

don’t really ground us” Do they yell at you? “Yes” In front of other people? “No,

not usually” What if they did? “Usually in public I don’t disobey them a lot

because I don’t want them to yell at me in front of other people so I guess that

would encourage me not to do it”

5) Who do you ask for help when you need it? “For certain things like homework I

will ask my mom and because she is a teacher she usually can help me” Is she

able to help you most of the time? “Yea usually, except for certain things because

the 4th and 6th grade curriculums are different so sometimes she’s not familiar with

the content. Usually she can’t help me with math” Whom do you go to if she

doesn’t know what to do? “I kind of go to myself because I usually don’t need

that much help with math”

6) How do you make friends in school? “Usually if I see someone we will usually

just both start talking and it comes pretty easily to me to make friends. One of my

friends started out because we sit together and we became best friends and two of

my other friends I met through her” What is something you look for in a friend?

“Someone who I can trust and that won’t really lie and someone that has a good

sense of humor”

7) How do you react when you know a friend is being dishonest? “Usually my

friends are pretty honest with each other, but when they aren’t usually I try to just

let it go because I don’t want to get mad at them and I don’t want them to get mad

at me” Do you sometimes think lying is okay? “If it’s trying not to hurt

someone’s feelings, it’s better than if it’s just like a lie to stay out of trouble or

something like that”

8) Would you consider yourself a good friend? “Yea I think because I try to be nice

so that they never really have a reason to be mad at me and I am always willing to

help them if they need help” How do you cheer up a friend when they are feeling

down? “I usually just try to make them laugh or smile and then they usually stop

being upset” Are your friends there for you when you need them? “Yea and it’s

good to know that if I need them they are there because they are also good

friends” How do they cheer you up? “Um, they usually do the same they make me

laugh because my friends are pretty funny”

9) What are some things you do that make your parents proud? “Usually mainly

schoolwork. I want myself to do good and also I know my parents want me to do

good and since I have been doing good I try to keep it up so I don’t disappoint

them”

10) What is a quality you don’t like to see in a person? “I don’t like people that are

apathetic and they don’t really care about other people” How do you treat these

people? “I usually don’t get mad at them I usually just try to point them in the

right direction and tell them what they should be doing. I do try to become

friends with them to make sure they are doing the right thing”

11) What is your favorite game to play with your friends? “I really like to play soccer

because all of my friends are on the same team as me” What happens if someone

changes the rules? Almost every time the team we play against is really pushy and

I don’t like it when the ref is young and they don’t pay as much attention to stuff

like that” How do you feel when someone cheats and what do you do? “It makes

kind of upset but I usually don’t point it out”

Sample C Interview

1) What is your favorite thing to do in your free time? “Playing soccer” How often

are you able to do this activity? “Almost everyday” Who do you like to spend free

time with? “Bobby and Nick, my friends” Would you rather spend this free time

alone or with others? “With others, because you can do more things with people”

2) Do you enjoy school? “Sure” What is something you enjoy about going to

school? “If I didn’t go to school I would be bored, so it gives me something to do”

What is something you enjoy about going to school? “Just being social, there are

people there to interact with” What is something you dislike about going to

school? “Anything that involves classes (laughing)” Do you get along with your

classmates? “Yes, for the most part” What do you do when you don’t agree with

something your classmate says or does? “I fry them up and I win my argument by

standing up for whatever I believe in” How does your teacher react to that?

“Usually they encourage it because it’s more than just them speaking. It means

that people are actually paying attention to what is going on in class”

3) Do you get along with your teachers? “Uh, for the most part” What happens when

you don’t like something your teacher is doing? “Nothing, I just ignore it. Theres

nothing I can do about it because they are the teacher” What does your teacher do

when you aren’t following directions” If we are falling behind there really isn’t a

punishment for it besides not knowing what’s going on in class”

4) What happens when you do something your parents tell you not to do? “There is a

punishment like I am grounded and can’t go out on the weekends” Do your

parents yell at you? “Sometimes but not that I can remember specifically” Do

they yell at you in front of other people? “No but I’m sure they would if they had

to” How does this punishment make you feel? “I think I would learn the lesson

without the punishment. I feel like punishment only works on little kids who don’t

realize what they did was wrong. After a certain age I think it’s pointless to

punish someone because the actual act is usually punishment enough”

5) Who do you ask for help when you need it? “My parents or someone who knows

more about the subject than me” Why do you go to this person for help? “Usually

they are more knowledgeable about what I am struggling with than I am” Is this

person able to help you? “Most of the time”

6) How do you make friends in school? “Usually through mutual friends” Is making

friends easy or difficult for you? “Easy. There is a way to relate to everyone and

it’s just easier for me than it is for some other people” What is something you

look for in a friend? “Someone who is laid back and has fun”

7) How do you react when you know a friend is being dishonest? “I don’t really care

anymore. I know the truth so it doesn’t really matter” Is lying okay sometimes?

“Yea, it depends. It’s okay when it’s more beneficial for everyone if you lie. Like

if the truth would hurt someone then it’s okay to lie”

8) Would you consider yourself a good friend? “Yes.” How would you cheer up a

friend when they are feeling down? “It depends on the situation. A lot of the times

they are just overreacting to whatever happened so I explain the situation how it

actually is not actually how they see it” Are your friends there for you when you

need them? “Sure.” What cheers you up when you are sad? “Nothing really I just

get over it because there’s nothing to be sad about for long periods of time”

9) What are some things you do that make your parents proud? “Everyday things

like manners and being a good person” How does this make you feel? “Um it

makes me feel good and verified”

10) What is a quality you don’t like to see in a person? “Negativity. Not being

happy” How do you treat others that aren’t as positive as you? “I’m nice to them

but I don’t ever try to become close with them” Why? “Because no one needs the

negativity”

Three Areas Of Development

The three areas of child development are physical, cognitive and socio-emotional.

A child’s physical development refers to individual’s tangible necessities of everyday life

and also one’s physical make-up of their organs, body and senses. A child’s cognitive

development refers to the way each individual thinks and focuses on how one’s growth

intellectually can impact his or her actions and behavior. Social development is the

aspect that explains the changes involved with capabilities regarding interacting with

others that occurs over time in a child’s growth (Feldman, 2012, pp.5).

A variety of environmental and biological factors influence the course in which

each child develops physically, cognitively, and socially. It is inevitable that children

will mature at different rates and it is reasonable to assume that a child’s accelerated

physical growth has a notable impact on his or her progression both cognitively and

socially. For example, the timing of puberty in adolescent boys has noticeably affected

one’s understanding of self-concept. Early matured boys are more likely to get heavily

involved with drugs and alcohol, while late-maturing girls are generally more confident

and have lesser reports of emotional issues and disorders (Feldman, 2012, pp.358). Each

aspect of development affects the other. A child who finds social interactions to be

troubling and who are maybe considered neglected adolescents, are more likely to

experience continued sadness and even depression associated with feelings of failure to

belong or fit in, which could very likely lead one to develop different cognitive processes

or even to develop an overweight and physically unhealthy body (Feldman, 2012,

pp.422).

Discussion

Throughout the interview process, I began to notice huge socio-emotional

differences among the children from each age group based on the variation in their

responses, or sometimes lack thereof, of each specific question I asked. After reviewing

the major developmental theorists, I came to the conclusion that the majority of my

findings were mostly consistent with Erikson’s theory and stages of psychosocial

development. However, I also noticed huge similarities in relation to Damon’s Three

Stages of Friendship as I was exploring each child’s social competence and overall

comfortability around others.

The first question I asked regarding friend relationships was “How do you make

friends in school? Is making friends easy or difficult for you? What is something that you

look for in a friend?” Delilah said that she tries to make friends by being nice and

friendly and that making friends is “pretty much easy, but sometimes difficult.” However,

when I asked what she looks for in a friend, she had a very puzzled look on her face and

was thinking for a long time before she said, “Uh, I don’t know it depends on if it’s easy

or difficult.” This somewhat illogical and incomplete response is very typical, according

to Damon, of children still in the First Stage of Friendship. In this stage, children often

report having very many friends, but they fail to understand why they are friends with

these other children (Feldman, 2012, pp. 334). I know Delilah on a very personal level

and she normally is very talkative and always has a relevant opinion or comment to give

in social settings. Her delayed and confusing response directly reflects her confusion

with the question of what she likes about her friends.

Jillian said, “Usually if I see someone we will both start talking and it comes

pretty easily.” This is proof that she probably has a pretty high social competence and is

consequently pretty successful in social settings and also explains why she has lots of

friends (Feldman, 2012, pp.335). “My friends are people who I can trust and that won’t

really like and someone that has a good sense of humor.” This is validation that she is

most likely in the Second Stage of Damon’s Theory of Friendship, which is defined as

“basing friendship on trust” (Feldman, 2012, pp.334). She very heavily stressed the

importance of trust as kids in this stage begin to take violations of trust very seriously.

However, her comment that she enjoys other children who are humorous suggests that

she is moving into the Third Stage of Friendship, in which children begin to find friends

who can provide them some sort of “psychological benefit” (Feldman, 2012, pp.335).

Samuel said, “I usually meet people through mutual friends. Making friends is

easy because there is a way to relate to everyone and it’s just easier for me than it is for

some other people.” He says that he looks for friends who are laid back like he is and

who know how to have fun. This shows clear evidence that while clearly in the Third

stage of Friendship, like other children in this stage Samuel is able to “develop clear ideas

about which behaviors they seek in their friends and which they dislike” (Feldman, 2012,

pp.335).

The next question I asked was “What is a quality you don’t like to see in a

person? Why? How do you treat others that act and think differently than you do?” I was

not surprised to see that I had to provide further explanation for seven-year-old Delilah to

provide a response to this question. She ended up describing a scenario instead of

pinpointing a characteristic she didn’t enjoy about other children. She said “I don’t like

when this one girl plays with her hair all of the time she is only five and she always just

tries to be so beautiful.” I could infer that she was upset with this child’s egocentrism and

conceited habits. She did later on mention that she doesn’t like mean children. She says

that if a child is being mean she will get up and not play with them anymore and

sometimes threatens the child with the common expression “I’m going to tell my daddy!”

At this stage in friendship, Delilah doesn’t understand how to appropriately handle

people that think differently than her or don’t play with her in such a way she would

expect. Instead, she walks away and may decide not to play with this child in the future.

Jillian was very quick to reply “I don’t like people that are apathetic and don’t

really care about other people.” This response surprised me because it shows a much

deeper association with a child in Stage Three of Friendship as Damon explains an

individual in this stage of development can clearly explain and support behaviors in

which they dislike. She goes on to explain that she tries to point other children in the

right direction when it comes to being empathetic and putting others first, instead of

belittling them or neglecting their existence. This characteristic Jillian possesses, this

understanding of others, probably has contributed to her popularity in middle childhood.

According to Feldman (2012), “generally popular children are friendly, open, and

cooperative.” At twelve-years-old, Jillian has demonstrated a clear shift from Stage One

of Friendship to the earlier Stage Three of Friendship according to developmental theorist

Damon.

Although Samuel and Jillian are probably experiencing the same stages of

friendship, they seemed to have very different approaches to people that think differently

than themselves. Sam responded that if people are negative all of the time he is nice to

them, but he doesn’t at all make an effort to be friends with someone who doesn’t think

or act as optimistically as he does. This shows that Jillian is still experiencing Stage Two

of Friendship according to Damon because he relationships with other children are not so

heavily focused on psychological benefits, as Samuels actions portray otherwise. If

Samuel doesn’t receive satisfaction from someone, he does not spend time with this

person. Jillian may not relate to another child psychologically, but she always makes the

effort to make friends with another person and even feels so strongly that she can

influence a person’s way of thinking that she is willing to actually spending more time

with this person who she may not always see eye-to-eye with.

The theorist I most related to my findings was Erikson, specifically in regards to

his Theory of Psychosocial Development. This theory suggested that there are 8 stages

an individual goes through in their lifetime and it “considers how individuals come to

understand themselves and the meaning of others’-and their own-behavior” (Feldman,

2012, pp.185). I can clearly identify seven-year-old Delilah in the stage of initiative-

versus-guilt in which a child begins to notice themselves as an individual and starts to

develop their own sense of self and in this stage children also begin to make decisions on

their own. Jillian seemed to fit within the later portion of the industry-versus inferiority

stage, which mostly encompasses children between ages six and twelve years old.

Samuel seem to refer to behaviors associated with children in the identity-versus-identity-

confusion stage in which he has evidently become pretty confident in who he is as an

individual and is aware of the logic behind his behaviors in social settings. Each child,

probably mostly because of their differences in age, I found to be closely related to one or

another of Erikson’s Stages of Psychosocial development. I really didn’t observe any

inconsistencies within his theory in comparison to my findings throughout the three

interviews.

I later asked Delilah, “How do you react when you know a friend is being

dishonest? Is lying ever okay?” She explained a situation in which a friend from her Tae

Kwon Doe class was lying and she told her “if you keep lying you’re going to end up in

jail.” Delilah acted according to her own decisions regarding her feelings on dishonesty

and made it very apparent that she would not tolerate it. She said that she doesn’t think

lying is ever okay that it is always bad. This independent decision-making shows that

Delilah is experiencing Erikson’s initiative-versus-guilt stage. She explained that she

used to get punished when she used to lie when she was little and she said, “yes I made a

lot of mistakes when I was younger. It made me feel really bad.” Freud’s Theory of

Psychoanalytic Personality Development suggests that young children’s “attempt to

avoid experiencing negative emotions sometimes lead them to act in more moral, helpful

ways” (Feldman, 2012, pp.263). Delilah, probably heavily influenced by negative

consequences from her parents, doesn’t think it is ever okay to lie. She has probably

been told that such behaviors are not morally or socially acceptable and the punishment

she receives encourages her to against such actions of dishonesty.

Jillian has been successful in the industry-versus-inferiority stage; she has

experienced great academic and social success. I asked her “What is something you do

that makes your parents proud? How does this make you feel?” She said, “Mainly

schoolwork. I want myself to do good and I also know my parents want me to do good

so I try to keep it up so I don’t disappoint them.” Jillian clearly successfully met the goal

of this stage, which is coping with the “challenges presented by parents, peers, school,

and other complexities” (Feldman, 2012, pp.328). She is also aware of her success and

her potential as an individual, which suggests that she may be entering the next

developmental stage. She even has goals for the future to maintain her responsible

behaviors. When asked, “Is lying ever okay?” Jillian understands her feelings enough to

produce a highly intelligent response that suggest that lying is okay under certain

conditions. This mindset, the idea that nothing is concrete, shows that she has

successfully coped with balancing the various complexities of everyday life.

Samuel clearly is in the identity-versus-identity stage. When I asked him about

lying he said “I don’t care if I find my friends are lying anymore because I know the truth

so it doesn’t really matter.” This is proof that Samuel has developed a confidence in his

beliefs and he feels he knows exactly who he is and can justify his feelings and behaviors

with his own definition of morality. He doesn’t respect a dishonest person, but he does

believe that lying is sometimes okay if the truth is going to hurt someone else. Erikson

states that children who are successful in this stage “learn their unique capabilities and

believe in them, and they develop an accurate sense of who they are” (Feldman, 2012,

pp.408).

Recommendation

Delilah, although she is very good at communicating her thoughts with others, I

was surprised at some of her social habits. What alarmed me the most was how often she

mentioned “bullies” and talked about children being mean to her when I asked her

questions about her behaviors and feelings in social settings. I am not sure if she has had

some experience in the recent past that exaggerated her response. However, I don’t think

this should go ignored. I think that Delilah definitely has problems making friends

sometimes, and whether or not its due to her own behavior, I still would recommend that

she see a therapist or a school counselor that would be able to assess the situation.

Bullying can lead victims into anger, depression, and to adopt methods of self-harm

while their confidence has been destroyed. In fact, a recent study has proven that “bullied

children had lower and longer-lasting cortisol response to stress than the comparison

group, suggesting that bullying invokes biological changes in victims with potential long-

lasting impacts” (Mundbjerg, 2014). Kids are mean, but clearly the actions of other

children that Delilah interacts with are affecting the way she thinks and acts and that is

what concerns me the most, especially because she is so young. Delilah responded that

she likes school sometimes, but other times she would rather stay at home and play by

herself. A recent study confirmed that experiencing peer rejection does in fact lead to

“less favorable attitudes toward school, greater school avoidance, and lower levels of

academic performance” (Lindsey).

Conclusion

I was able to identify theories of development in each of the children I

interviewed. These became apparent to me not only by the responses of the children, but

there also by there body language and even by their tone related to each subject. For

example, the children that seemed to be more socially competent were more excited

about questions related to school and were more eager to talk about and elaborate social

situations with their peers and friends. Almost all of my findings were completely on

track with the ideas of the theorists I related to. However, I was very shocked, even

though Erikson explained normalcy in such findings, that the seven-year-old I

interviewed really didn’t have an understanding of why she liked her friends.

Overall, my interviews went very smoothly. I only had to explain a few questions

for Delilah, but once I elaborated or gave an example she was able to give her own

individual response quite intelligently for her age. The older kids, Samuel and Jillian,

were a little less engaged with the questions than was Delilah who was very excited that I

was interviewing her. Sometimes I was forced to ask them more questions when they

were giving me one-word responses. Other than that, I was able to conduct my research

very fluidly.

If I had the opportunity to follow-up and spend more time on this project I

wouldn’t necessarily ask different or additional questions. I think it would be interesting

to have had time to interview a boy and a girl from each age group. I did interview a

seven-year-old boy informally as well and I was very shocked at the differences I

noticed. The girl was way more engaged and elaborated her responses quicker. The boy

often had to think about the questions for a longer period of time. The boy seemed to

remember less about their childhood, but was more eager to talk about his social life and

time spent with friends while the girl seemed to enjoy family time spent with her parents.

Obviously there could be other factors that affected these differences besides gender, but

I think it is reasonable to assume that it does play a role in childhood development.

References

Feldman, Robert S. Child Development. Upper Saddle River, NJ: Prentice Hall, 1998.

- Print.

Lindsey, E. W. (2002). PRESCHOOL CHILDREN'S FRIENDSHIPS AND PEER

- ACCEPTANCE: LINKS TO SOCIAL COMPETENCE. Child Study Journal,

- 32(3), 145.

Mundbjerg Eriksen, T. L., Skyt Nielsen, H., & Simonsen, M. (2014). Bullying in

Elementary School. Journal Of Human Resources, 49(4), 840-871.