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SecondaryNational Strategy
bits of an autobiography I may not writeYear 7 reading task
Teacher pack
Guidance
Curriculum andStandards
English subjectleaders and teachers of EnglishStatus: Recommended
Date of issue: 01-2006
Ref: DfES 1789-2005 CDO-EN
Assessing pupils’ progress in English at Key Stage 3
bits of an autobiography I may not write
Year 7 reading task
Framework objectivesReading 7Identify the main points, processes or ideas in a text and how they aresequenced and developed by the writer.
Reading 8Infer and deduce meanings using evidence in the text, identifying where andhow meanings are implied.
Assessment focusesAF2 Understand, describe, select or retrieve information, events or ideas
from texts and use quotation and reference to text.AF3 Deduce, infer or interpret information, events or ideas from texts.AF4 Identify and comment on the structure and organisation of texts,
including grammatical and presentational features at text level.AF5 Explain and comment on writers’ use of language, including
grammatical and literary features at word and sentence level.AF6 Identify and comment on writers’ purposes and viewpoints, and the
overall effect of the text on the reader.
Time neededTwo, consecutive one-hour lessons. Timings will need to be adapted if lessonsare longer or shorter than 60 minutes.
These timings are estimates for guidance rather than obligatory timings. The most important consideration is that pupils should have sufficient time to complete the task, working independently. Unfinished tasks are unlikely to produce evidence on all the assessment focuses.
Teachers may adjust the timings for the task to take account of their particularcircumstances, but should bear in mind that spending overmuch time on anysection may disadvantage pupils.
2 Secondary National Strategy | Assessing pupils’ progress in © Crown copyright 2006English at Key Stage 3 DfES 1789-2005 CDO-EN
Pack includesTeacher notesOHT 1 – first sentence from Text 1OHT 2 – first section from Text 1Teacher sheet 1 – annotations for OHT 2OHT 3 – exemplar AF3 questionText 1OHT 4 – structure sheet (blank for modelling)OHT 5 – structure sheet (completed version)Pages 3–5 of reading bookletPages from answer bookletMarking guidelinesExemplar responses
Task outlineThis task requires puils to read and respond to three short extracts from bitsof an autobiography I may not write by Morris Gleitzman. The task focuses on the writer’s portrayal of himself as a writer who experiences a series ofproblems. Support is provided through the use of a modelled answer and anactivity which focuses on text structure.
3© Crown copyright 2006 Secondary National Strategy | Assessing pupils’ progress in DfES 1789-2005 CDO-EN English at Key Stage 3
Teacher notes
Teaching sequence
LESSON 1� Share the learning objectives with the class, rephrasing as appropriate for
the group.
Introduction (35 minutes)� Display OHT 1 (It was a proud moment. I’d just...) and ask pupils, in
pairs, to think of possible proud moments this text could be about. This isintended to be a quick activity to encourage pupils to engage with the textthrough prediction and speculation. Take brief feedback.
� Display OHT 2 (page 2 of the reading booklet) and share the reading of thetext. Check any vocabulary that pupils may not understand, e.g.upholstery, logo. Check also that they understand the basic dilemma, i.e. that the text opens with a problem: the writer is unable to put togethersome pieces of DIY furniture and his pride has been dented.
� Using Teacher sheet 1 as a prompt, draw out, through a shared read, the following:– Use of the first person: what kind of text is this? Autobiography?
Narrative?– The characterisation, especially the relationship between the writer and
his children– The informal tone created through vocabulary choices and sentence
structure– The humour.Record these points on the flipchart or whiteboard for later use.
Humour is always a potentially difficult area to explore with pupils. The intention here is to help them to identify the intended humour and light-hearted style of the writing. It is important since (a) the humour is an essentialpart of this text and (b) this is AF6 territory (writer’s purpose, viewpoint andeffect on the reader), which needs to be explored with pupils.
� Display OHT 3 (exemplar AF3 question):How do we know that the children don’t want to hurt their father’sfeelings?
� Show pupils how to underline key words in a question. Remind them that:– a question which uses the word “how” usually requires an explanation– it is always a good idea to refer to the text in an answer– where possible in an answer, they should develop their ideas.
� Then model a suggested answer, as follows:The children clearly don’t want to hurt their father’s feelings because theyspeak “gently” to him. It seems as though the kids are used to their father’sstrange behaviour because they “sighed” as if this isn’t the first time he hasdone something silly.
4 Secondary National Strategy | Assessing pupils’ progress in © Crown copyright 2006English at Key Stage 3 DfES 1789-2005 CDO-EN
Development (20 minutes)� Ask pupils to turn to the complete Text 1 (page 3 of the reading booklet)
and ask them to read it. Ask them to work in pairs to annotate the text,looking for further examples of the points drawn out during the sharedreading (use of first person, characterisation, informal tone, humour). Ask them also to focus on the following:– How the writer attempts to solve his problem– The way the writer’s problem is resolved in an amusing and unexpected
way at the end. Pupils may need to be guided if they do not immediately recognise/acknowledge the humour in the text.
� Show OHT 4 and take feedback from selected pairs on what they havediscovered in their discussions. Use the OHT to clarify the way the writerstructures the text. Complete the table on the OHT, or show the completedversion, OHT 5.
This is an important activity since one of the questions in the task will askpupils to complete a similar chart for the other two texts. This activity providessome scaffolding for pupils on how to apply the chart to the shared textwithout invalidating the independence of their response in the assessment.
Plenary (5 minutes)� Tell them that the text they have read in this lesson is written by Morris
Gleitzman and that it is taken from a text called bits of an autobiography I may not write. Tell them that they will read two more “bits” from this textin the next lesson.
5© Crown copyright 2006 Secondary National Strategy | Assessing pupils’ progress in DfES 1789-2005 CDO-EN English at Key Stage 3
LESSON 2� Remind pupils of the learning objectives for these two lessons.
Introduction (20 minutes)� Remind pupils about the text they read last lesson and display the points
(on Teacher sheet 1) used to support the shared reading as follows:– Use of the first person: what kind of text is this? Autobiography?
Narrative?– The characterisation, especially the relationship between the writer
and his children– The informal tone created through vocabulary choices and sentence
structure– The humour.
� Remind them also of OHT 5, which scaffolded the structure of Text 1. It would be appropriate at this point to display an annotated OHT and/orcompleted grid from the previous lesson if possible.
� Give pupils the reading booklet. In pairs, ask one pupil to read Text 2 and one pupil to read Text 3.
It is important that pupils read these texts independently since they will formthe basis of the assessment task. This activity is designed to support theindependent reading of the texts without invalidating the independence of the assessment.
� Give them five minutes to read their text and then ask them to composeone sentence which sums up what the text is about. Ask them to sharetheir sentence with their partner. Ask one or two pairs to share theirsentences with the whole class.
� As a class, draw out any obvious similarities between these two texts and Text 1.
6 Secondary National Strategy | Assessing pupils’ progress in © Crown copyright 2006English at Key Stage 3 DfES 1789-2005 CDO-EN
Development (40 minutes)� Briefly show them how to use the answer booklet, and advise them to
attempt all the questions. Explain that the questions are not necessarily inascending order of difficulty.
� Tell pupils to read all three texts again before tackling any of the questions.� Do not read the text aloud to the class.� Tell them that they have the rest of the lesson to complete the task.
These are not test conditions, so prompt pupils if necessary (e.g. to writemore, to explain themselves more clearly). Do not, however, provide supportthat means that the pupils are no longer responding to the text independently.If this kind of support is necessary for an individual pupil in the context of thelesson, you will need to take the degree of support into account when makingthe assessment judgement.
It is good practice to:� tell pupils if they have not written enough or are writing too much;� prompt them to explain their answer more clearly;� generally encourage them through praise;� clarify a question for the whole class if there seems to be a fairly general
misunderstanding;� remind pupils how much time they have to complete the task.
Assessment� Use the assessment guidelines to judge pupils’ overall levels on the
specified assessment focuses. Highlight, then tick, the sections of themarking guidelines according to the features you find and then considerwhether the weight of evidence is at secure or low level 3, 4 or 5.
� Exemplar responses for each question at every level are also included forreference and to give guidance on how the criteria are to be applied.
7© Crown copyright 2006 Secondary National Strategy | Assessing pupils’ progress in DfES 1789-2005 CDO-EN English at Key Stage 3
8 Secondary National Strategy | Assessing pupils’ progress in © Crown copyright 2006English at Key Stage 3 DfES 1789-2005 CDO-EN
OHT 1First sentence from Text 1
It was a proud moment. I’d just…
9© Crown copyright 2006 Secondary National Strategy | Assessing pupils’ progress in DfES 1789-2005 CDO-EN English at Key Stage 3
OHT 2/Page 2 of reading booklet
It was a proud moment. I’d just built my first piece of
furniture and I could feel my chest swelling almost as
much as the finger I’d hit with the hammer.
“Well,” I said to the kids, “what do you think?”
I held my breath as they ran their hands over the
four sturdy legs, the finely stitched upholstery and the
skilfully hung mirrored door.
“Funny looking bookshelves, Dad,” they said. My
chest deflated. They were right. Who was I trying to
kid? I was a writer, not a handyman.
“Do-it-yourself furniture,” I said bitterly. “If there’s
anyone who can build this stuff themselves I’d like to
know their secret.”
The kids looked at the empty boxes strewn around
the room. “Perhaps,” they said gently, “it involves
assembling the bookcase, the settee, the coffee table
and the bathroom cabinet as four separate items.”
“It was the instructions,” I said. “They were
impossible to understand. Look at that diagram. I broke
three screwdrivers trying to follow that.”
The kids sighed. “It’s the furniture-shop logo,”
they said.
Teacher sheet 1Annotations for OHT2
It was a proud moment. I’d just built my first
piece of furniture and I could feel my chest swelling
almost as much as the finger I’d hit with the hammer.
“Well,” I said to the kids, “what do you think?”
I held my breath as they ran their hands over
the four sturdy legs, the finely stitched upholstery and
the skilfully hung mirrored door.
“Funny looking bookshelves, Dad,” they said.
My chest deflated. They were right. Who was I trying
to kid? I was a writer, not a handyman.
“Do-it-yourself furniture,” I said bitterly. “If
there’s anyone who can build this stuff themselves I’d
like to know their secret.”
The kids looked at the empty boxes strewn
around the room. “Perhaps,” they said gently, “it
involves assembling the bookcase, the settee, the
coffee table and the bathroom cabinet as four separate
items.”
“It was the instructions,” I said. “They were
impossible to understand. Look at that diagram. I
broke three screwdrivers trying to follow that.”
The kids sighed. “It’s the furniture-shop logo,”
they said.
First person I and pasttense suggestsautobiographicalwriting?
Use of humour comparing his swellingchest (a metaphorical indication of pride)with his injured finger (an indication ofhis ineptitude)
Colloquialvocabularykids andellipsis [theyare] funnylookingbookshelvescreate aninformaltone
Use ofdialoguebrings thecharacters tolife. Adverbs,such asbitterly andgently, showthe reversalof rolesbetweenparent andchild
Sighedsuggests thatthey are usedto this typeof behaviourfrom theirfather
The humour lies in the unexpected statements of the obvious,which contrast Dad’s misunderstanding with the common senseof his children/the picture created for the reader (e.g. skilfullyhung mirrored door) with the reality of his mistakes. This isamusing in itself since the reader might expect a parent tounderstand more than the kids
Series ofshortsentencescreates fastpace
10 Secondary National Strategy | Assessing pupils’ progress in © Crown copyright 2006English at Key Stage 3 DfES 1789-2005 CDO-EN
11© Crown copyright 2006 Secondary National Strategy | Assessing pupils’ progress in DfES 1789-2005 CDO-EN English at Key Stage 3
OHT 3Exemplar AF3 question
How do we know that the children don’twant to hurt their father’s feelings?
MORRIS GLEITZMAN
bits of an autobiography I may not write
Text 1
It was a proud moment. I’d just built my first piece of furniture and I couldfeel my chest swelling almost as much as the finger I’d hit with the hammer.
“Well,” I said to the kids, “what do you think?”I held my breath as they ran their hands over the four sturdy legs, the finely
stitched upholstery and the skilfully hung mirrored door.“Funny looking bookshelves, Dad,” they said. My chest deflated. They were
right. Who was I trying to kid? I was a writer, not a handyman.“Do-it-yourself furniture,” I said bitterly. “If there’s anyone who can build this
stuff themselves I’d like to know their secret.”The kids looked at the empty boxes strewn around the room. “Perhaps,” they
said gently, “it involves assembling the bookcase, the settee, the coffee table andthe bathroom cabinet as four separate items.”
“It was the instructions,” I said. “They were impossible to understand. Look atthat diagram. I broke three screwdrivers trying to follow that.”
The kids sighed. “It’s the furniture-shop logo,” they said.I realised my problem was that I didn’t speak the language of do-it-yourself.
I started at language school the following week. The other students were doingFrench, Spanish and Japanese. I enrolled in Furniture Assembly.
The instructor tried hard, but by the ninth week I still couldn’t translate ‘slotbase support bracket A into side panel rib B’. I couldn’t even say it.
“I’m sorry”, said the instructor, “I can’t do any more for you.”I looked at him pleadingly. “Not even put my bookshelves together?”He shook his head.At home I stared gloomily at the bookshelf assembly instructions. Why could
I construct a story but not a piece of furniture? Then I noticed the instructions werelooking different. They were in the kids’ handwriting. ‘One fine day,’ I readexcitedly, ‘a base support bracket named A met a side panel rib called B…’
Drop in and see my new bookshelves some time. They look great.
Page 3 of reading bookletText 1
12 Secondary National Strategy | Assessing pupils’ progress in © Crown copyright 2006English at Key Stage 3 DfES 1789-2005 CDO-EN
13© Crown copyright 2006 Secondary National Strategy | Assessing pupils’ progress in DfES 1789-2005 CDO-EN English at Key Stage 3
OHT 4 (blank for modelling)Structure sheet
The writer has a problem
His kids try to help
The problem is sorted out
OHT 5 (completed version)Structure sheet
The writer has a problem
He is having difficultyputting togethersome do-it-yourselffurniture
His kids try to help
They tell him hedoesn’t understandthe diagram so hegoes to school tolearn
The problem is sorted out
He fails hopelessly atschool so his kidswrite the instructionsas a story. He is ableto follow them andbuilds his furniture
14 Secondary National Strategy | Assessing pupils’ progress in © Crown copyright 2006English at Key Stage 3 DfES 1789-2005 CDO-EN
15© Crown copyright 2006 Secondary National Strategy | Assessing pupils’ progress in DfES 1789-2005 CDO-EN English at Key Stage 3
Text 2
Two weeks of thinking, and still no idea for my next book. I’d tried everything.Meditation. Self-hypnosis. Vacuuming my scalp to stimulate my brain.
Then a letter arrived from a kid in Western Australia. ‘Your books are prettygood,’ she wrote, ‘except for the total lack of motorbikes.’
I fell to my knees, partly in gratitude and partly because the vacuum cleanerwas still on my head. At last, a story idea. A kid travelling across the Great SandyDesert on a motorbike. Not bad.
I’d just finished chapter one when the letter came.‘Reasonably OK books,’ wrote a kid in Adelaide, ‘but why so few exotic fish?’Good point. I rewrote chapter one. It ended up longer, mostly because the
bike couldn’t travel so fast with the aquarium on the back.‘Your stories would be more interesting,’ said a letter from Bristol, ‘if they
included more elderly people.’I had to agree. I rewrote chapter one and it certainly was more interesting.
Particularly when one of the kid’s grandparents, parched from running to keep upwith the bike, drank the aquarium and swallowed a coral trout.
It looked like she was a goner until the letter from Philadelphia arrived. ‘Moresports,’ it said. Which is how, in the next draft, the kid came to have a table-tennisbat handy to whack Gran on the back.
“Shouldn’t you be thinking up your own ideas, Dad?” asked the kids.“Why?” I replied.“Oh, no reason,” they shrugged, handing me six letters.‘Water-skiing,’ said one. ‘Clydesdale horses,’ said another. ‘Self-reticulating
irrigation systems,’ said the other four.This morning when the postman came I hid under my desk. He found me. I
was sobbing.“Must be tough being a writer,” he said, bending down and handing me a
bundle of letters. “I wouldn’t know where to get the ideas from.”
Page 4 of reading booklet
Text 3
The kids stared at the peanut butter, beetroot, sardine and pineapplesandwich.
“Dad,” they pleaded, “couldn’t you make plain old cheese and tomato?”I put the sandwich into the lunchbox and explained that I’d decided to make
something special for the first day.“But this isn’t our first day,” said the kids. “We’ve been going to school for
years.”I added kiwi fruit, two gherkins and some kangaroo salami to the lunch box.
“It’s my new book’s first day,” I said, voice trembling. “At the publisher’s.”The kids stared at the manuscript. They stared at the woolly scarf tied round it
and the knitted hat pulled down snugly over the title page. Then they stared at me.“You’re making your new book a packed lunch?” they croaked.
“Please,” I said. “It isn’t easy, saying goodbye to a manuscript. Sending it offto that scary building. It’s almost as upsetting as your first day at school and youremember how upsetting that was.”
The kids said they did, particularly the sandwiches.My eyes misted over. “It’s only a ninety-six page kids’ book,” I sobbed as I
filled its plastic drink bottle. ‘What if it gets bullied by a 600-page truck repairmanual?”
The kids took me to one side. “Dad,” they said quietly, “remember how youwere a bit over-protective when we started school? Getting your helicopter licenceand joining the traffic police so you could hover over the playground at lunchtime?”
I pulled myself together. “It’s OK,” I said. “I’m not going to embarrass my newbook like that.”
And I meant it. Which is why I got the job as a window cleaner. Far lessnoticeable and I was still able to keep an eye on my baby from the extension ladder.
That’s how I was the first to know about the tragedy. The publishers decidedto delay publication of my new manuscript. First they made me write them asandwich recipe book.
©2003 Morris Gleitzmanbits of an autobiography I may not write by Morris Gleitzman from Kids’ Night In
Reproduced by kind permission of Penguin Group (Australia)
Page 5 of reading booklet
16 Secondary National Strategy | Assessing pupils’ progress in © Crown copyright 2006English at Key Stage 3 DfES 1789-2005 CDO-EN
17© Crown copyright 2006 Secondary National Strategy | Assessing pupils’ progress in DfES 1789-2005 CDO-EN English at Key Stage 3
Answer all questions in the spaces provided.
Questions 1 and 2 are about Text 2, in which the writer can’t think of an idea for hisnext book.
1. List four ideas that different readers suggest for the writer’s next book (AF2).
Find and copy a quotation that shows how the writer tries to use one of these ideasin his book (AF2).
2. Explain why the writer hides under his desk and cries at the end (AF3).
�
�
�
�
Questions 3 and 4 are about Text 3, in which the writer is worried about sending hisnew book to the publisher.
3. The writer chooses words and phrases to show how he feels about his new book.Complete the table to show how he does this. One example has been done tohelp you (AF5).
4. How do the kids react to their father’s strange behaviour; explain how we know?Answer as fully as you can (AF3).
Words and phrases usedby the writer
“It’s my new book’s firstday,” I said, voicetrembling
“Trembling” shows that his voice sounds as if he isgoing to cry because he is upset about sending his book away
I was still able to keep an eye on my baby
Sending it off to that big scary building
My eyes misted over
What they show about his feelings for his book
18 Secondary National Strategy | Assessing pupils’ progress in © Crown copyright 2006English at Key Stage 3 DfES 1789-2005 CDO-EN
19© Crown copyright 2006 Secondary National Strategy | Assessing pupils’ progress in DfES 1789-2005 CDO-EN English at Key Stage 3
Questions 5 and 6 are about both texts.
5. Each text is organised in a similar way, for example:• the writer has a problem• his kids try to help• the problem is sorted out
Complete the grid to show how Texts 2 and 3 are organised in this way (AF4).
In each text, the problem is sorted out at the end. Why do you think all three textsend this way?
Text 1 Text 2 Text 3
The writerhas aproblem
He can’t build thefurniture
They tell him hedoesn’t understandthe diagram so hegoes to school to learn
They suggest that heshould think of hisown ideas for his next book
They suggest that he is being over-protective
The kids write theinstructions as a storyso that he can followthem in order to buildthe furniture
His kids tryto help
The problemis sorted out
6. Why do you think the writer has chosen the title bits of an autobiography I maynot write (AF6)?
7. What is the writer trying to do in bits of an autobiography I may not write?
Here are three statements. Tick the one you agree with most and explain why youchose it (AF6).
a) He is trying to show how difficult it is to be a writer
b) He is trying to make fun of himself and amuse the reader
c) He is trying to show that his children are really clever
I chose this statement because…
20 Secondary National Strategy | Assessing pupils’ progress in © Crown copyright 2006English at Key Stage 3 DfES 1789-2005 CDO-EN
21© Crown copyright 2006 Secondary National Strategy | Assessing pupils’ progress in DfES 1789-2005 CDO-EN English at Key Stage 3
Ma
rkin
g g
uid
eli
ne
s –
Ye
ar
7 t
as
k –
bit
s o
f a
n a
uto
bio
gra
ph
y I
ma
y n
ot
wri
te
Asse
ssin
g p
up
ils’ p
rog
ress in
En
glis
h a
t K
ey S
tag
e 3
Pupil
nam
e..............................................................................
Form
.................................
Date
...............................
A
F2 –
un
ders
tan
d,
descri
be,
sele
ct
or
retr
ieve
in
form
ati
on
, e
ve
nts
or
ide
as
fro
m t
exts
an
d u
se q
uo
tati
on
an
d
refe
ren
ce
to
te
xt.
AF
3 –
de
du
ce
, in
fer
or
inte
rpre
t in
form
ati
on
, e
ve
nts
or
ide
as f
rom
tex
ts.
AF
4 –
id
en
tify
an
d c
om
men
t o
n t
he
str
uctu
re a
nd
org
an
isati
on
of
texts
, in
clu
din
g g
ram
mati
cal
an
d
pre
se
nta
tio
nal
featu
res
at
text
leve
l.
AF
5 –
exp
lain
an
d c
om
men
t o
n w
rite
rs'
use o
f la
ng
uag
e,
inclu
din
g g
ram
mati
cal
an
d l
ite
rary
fe
atu
res
at
wo
rd a
nd
s
en
ten
ce
le
ve
l.
AF
6 –
id
en
tify
an
d c
om
me
nt
on
wri
ters
' p
urp
oses a
nd
vie
wp
oin
ts,
an
d t
he
ove
rall
eff
ec
t o
f th
e t
ex
t o
n t
he
re
ad
er.
L5
In
Q1
, fo
ur
rele
van
t po
ints
identified
fro
m
the
follo
win
g:
moto
rbik
es, e
xo
tic f
ish,
eld
erly p
eo
ple
, sp
ort
s,
wa
ter-
skiin
g,
Cly
de
sdale
hors
es,
se
lf-r
eticu
latin
g
irri
ga
tio
n s
yste
ms.
A r
ele
vant
quo
tation is s
ele
cte
d to
suppo
rt
one o
f th
e p
oin
ts identified
, e.g
. A
kid
tr
ave
llin
g a
cro
ss t
he
Gre
at
Sa
ndy D
ese
rt
on a
moto
rbik
e.
In Q
2, pup
ils u
se infe
rence
to d
eve
lop a
n
exp
lanation o
f th
e t
extu
al e
vid
ence a
nd
de
ve
lop a
n e
xp
lanation
, e.g
. he c
an’t c
ope
with a
ny m
ore
stu
pid
ideas a
nd k
now
s that
the
re w
ill b
e m
ore
in
the
post
so h
e h
ide
s
fro
m th
e p
ostm
an.
In Q
4, answ
ers
use infe
rence
based o
n
textu
al e
vid
ence
to d
eve
lop a
n e
xp
lanation
of
the k
ids’ re
actions, e.g
. sho
ck/s
urp
rise
/ em
ba
rrassm
ent/re
sig
nation, and
ma
y
mention m
ore
than o
ne o
f th
e fo
llow
ing:
the
y th
ink th
e s
an
dw
ich
es a
re fo
r th
em
, th
ey c
an
’t b
elie
ve
he is m
akin
g t
he
m f
or
a
book, th
ey s
uggest th
at he s
hould
n’t b
e
ove
r-p
rote
ctive a
s h
e w
as w
he
n t
hey
sta
rte
d s
cho
ol.
In Q
5, answ
ers
cle
arly identify
the
pro
ble
ms a
nd s
olu
tions a
cro
ss b
oth
te
xts
.
Com
men
ts s
ho
w a
ge
nera
l a
ware
ness o
f th
e w
rite
r’s s
tructu
ral choic
es a
nd e
xp
lain
w
hy e
ach t
ext
ends w
ith a
so
lution t
o the
pro
ble
m, e
.g.
it a
dds a
fu
nny tw
ist a
t th
e
en
d o
f e
ach t
ext.
In Q
3, answ
ers
com
men
t on a
ll th
ree
e
xam
ple
s.
Exp
lanations s
ho
w s
om
e
aw
are
ness o
f th
e e
ffect of th
e lan
gua
ge
cho
ice
s, e
.g. th
is s
ho
ws th
e r
ea
de
r th
at
he
fee
ls lik
e a
n o
ver-
pro
tective p
are
nt,
not
wa
ntin
g to let
his
ch
ild o
ut o
f h
is s
ight.
In Q
6,
the m
ain
pu
rpose o
f th
e te
xt
as a
n
auto
bio
gra
ph
y (
refe
rence t
o a
uto
bio
gra
ph
y
an
d f
irst
pe
rso
n I
in
th
e t
itle
) is
cle
arly
identified a
nd the a
nsw
er
will
refe
r to
the
bits o
r fr
agm
ents
that he m
ight in
clu
de in
an a
uto
bio
gra
ph
y, e.g
. th
ese a
re s
om
e
sh
ort
pie
ces h
e w
rote
wh
ich h
e m
igh
t in
clu
de in a
n a
uto
bio
gra
ph
y if
he e
ve
r d
ecid
es t
o w
rite
one
In Q
7, pup
ils c
hoose (
a)
or
(b)
and p
rovid
e
an e
xp
lanation, w
hic
h m
ay b
e lim
ited, e.g
. each b
it s
how
s h
im h
avin
g a
pro
ble
m a
nd
it’s
usu
ally
to d
o w
ith
his
writin
g.
L4
In
Q1
, th
ree o
r fo
ur
po
ints
identified fro
m
the
follo
win
g:
moto
rbik
es, e
xo
tic f
ish,
eld
erly p
eo
ple
, sp
ort
s,
wa
ter-
skiin
g,
Cly
de
sdale
hors
es,
se
lf-r
eticu
latin
g
irri
ga
tio
n s
yste
ms.
Som
e g
ene
rally
re
levant te
xtu
al re
fere
nce
is
pro
vid
ed
, w
hic
h m
ay b
e u
nse
lective
or
lack f
ocus,
e.g
. ta
ble
-tennis
bat
handy.
In Q
2, answ
ers
show
infe
rence b
ased o
n
evid
ence f
rom
the te
xt.
Answ
ers
ma
y n
ot
be d
eve
loped o
r com
men
ts m
ay r
epeat th
e
na
rra
tive
, e
.g.
becau
se
he
do
esn
’t w
ant
an
y m
ore
lett
ers
, he h
id u
nd
er
his
de
sk
wh
en
the
postm
an
ca
me
.
In Q
4, answ
ers
dra
w infe
rences a
bout th
e
kid
s’ re
actio
ns,
e.g
. sh
ock/s
urp
rise
/ em
ba
rrassm
ent/re
sig
nation a
nd p
rovid
e a
n
exp
lanation,
wh
ich m
ay r
epeat th
e c
onte
nt
or
na
rrative,
e.g
. th
ey a
sk h
im if
they c
an
have p
lain
cheese a
nd tom
ato
sandw
iches.
In Q
5, answ
ers
identify
the p
roble
ms a
nd
so
lutions a
cro
ss b
oth
te
xts
.
Som
e s
tra
igh
tforw
ard
co
mm
ents
on the
text
end
ings a
re p
rovid
ed, e.g
. his
pro
ble
m
ge
ts s
ort
ed
ou
t a
nd it
all
en
ds h
ap
pily
.
In Q
3,answ
ers
com
men
t on t
wo o
r th
ree
exam
ple
s. S
tra
ightfo
rwa
rd c
om
ments
on
the
lan
gua
ge c
ho
ices a
re m
ade, e
.g.
“big
,scary
bu
ildin
g”
ma
ke
s it sou
nd
lik
e a
rea
lly
frig
hte
nin
g p
lace
.
In Q
6, str
aig
htf
orw
ard
co
mm
ents
sho
w
som
e a
wa
reness t
hat th
e w
rite
r is
writin
g
about h
is life (
auto
bio
gra
ph
y)
and that th
ey
are
sho
rt p
ieces (
bits),
e.g
. th
ese a
re s
hort
pie
ces fro
m h
is a
uto
bio
gra
phy.
In Q
7,pup
ils c
hoose (
a)
or
(b)
(althou
gh
(b)
is m
ore
lik
ely
) and p
rovid
e s
om
e s
imp
le
com
ments
, e.g
. he m
akes h
imself s
eem
re
ally
stu
pid
.
IE
Ove
rall
asse
ssm
ent
(tic
k o
ne b
ox o
nly
) S
ecu
re 5
Lo
w 5
S
ecu
re 4
Lo
w 4
Secondary
Nat
iona
l Str
ateg
yfo
r sc
hool
imp
rove
men
t
Ma
rkin
g g
uid
eli
ne
s –
Ye
ar
7 t
as
k –
bit
s o
f a
n a
uto
bio
gra
ph
y I
ma
y n
ot
wri
te
Asse
ssin
g p
up
ils’ p
rog
ress in
En
glis
h a
t K
ey S
tag
e 3
Pupil
nam
e..............................................................................
Form
.................................
Date
...............................
A
F2 –
un
ders
tan
d,
descri
be,
sele
ct
or
retr
ieve
in
form
ati
on
, e
ve
nts
or
ide
as
fro
m t
exts
an
d u
se q
uo
tati
on
an
d
refe
ren
ce
to
te
xt.
AF
3 –
de
du
ce
, in
fer
or
inte
rpre
t in
form
ati
on
, e
ve
nts
or
ide
as f
rom
tex
ts.
AF
4 –
id
en
tify
an
d c
om
men
t o
n t
he
str
uctu
re a
nd
org
an
isati
on
of
texts
, in
clu
din
g g
ram
mati
cal
an
d
pre
se
nta
tio
nal
featu
res
at
text
leve
l.
AF
5 –
exp
lain
an
d c
om
men
t o
n w
rite
rs'
use o
f la
ng
uag
e,
inclu
din
g g
ram
mati
cal
an
d l
ite
rary
fe
atu
res
at
wo
rd a
nd
s
en
ten
ce
le
ve
l.
AF
6 –
id
en
tify
an
d c
om
me
nt
on
wri
ters
' p
urp
oses a
nd
vie
wp
oin
ts,
an
d t
he
ove
rall
eff
ec
t o
f th
e t
ex
t o
n t
he
re
ad
er.
L4
In
Q1
, th
ree o
r fo
ur
po
ints
identified fro
m
the
follo
win
g:
moto
rbik
es, e
xo
tic f
ish,
eld
erly p
eo
ple
, sp
ort
s,
wa
ter-
skiin
g,
Cly
de
sdale
hors
es,
se
lf-r
eticu
latin
g
irri
ga
tio
n s
yste
ms.
Som
e g
ene
rally
re
levant te
xtu
al re
fere
nce
is
pro
vid
ed
, w
hic
h m
ay b
e u
nse
lective
or
lack f
ocus,
e.g
. ta
ble
-tennis
bat
handy.
In Q
2, answ
ers
show
infe
rence b
ased o
n
evid
ence f
rom
the te
xt.
Answ
ers
ma
y n
ot
be d
eve
loped o
r com
men
ts m
ay r
epeat th
e
na
rra
tive
, e
.g.
becau
se
he
do
esn
’t w
ant
an
y m
ore
lett
ers
, he h
id u
nd
er
his
de
sk
wh
en
the
postm
an
ca
me
.
In Q
4, answ
ers
dra
w infe
rences a
bout th
e
kid
s’ re
actio
ns,
e.g
. sh
ock/s
urp
rise
/ em
ba
rrassm
ent/re
sig
nation a
nd p
rovid
e a
n
exp
lanation,
wh
ich m
ay r
epeat th
e c
onte
nt
or
na
rrative, e
g t
hey a
sk h
im if th
ey c
an
have p
lain
cheese a
nd tom
ato
sandw
iches.
In Q
5, answ
ers
identify
the p
roble
ms a
nd
so
lutions a
cro
ss b
oth
te
xts
.
Som
e s
tra
igh
tforw
ard
co
mm
ents
on the
text
end
ings a
re p
rovid
ed, e.g
. his
pro
ble
m
ge
ts s
ort
ed
ou
t a
nd it
all
en
ds h
ap
pily
.
In Q
3,answ
ers
com
men
t on t
wo o
r th
ree
exam
ple
s. S
tra
ightfo
rwa
rd c
om
ments
on
the
lan
gua
ge c
ho
ices a
re m
ade, e
.g.
“big
,scary
bu
ildin
g”
ma
ke
s it sou
nd
lik
e a
rea
lly
frig
hte
nin
g p
lace
.
In Q
6, str
aig
htf
orw
ard
co
mm
ents
sho
w
som
e a
wa
reness t
hat th
e w
rite
r is
writin
g
about h
is life (
auto
bio
gra
ph
y)
and that th
ey
are
sho
rt p
ieces (
bits),
e.g
. th
ese a
re s
hort
pie
ces fro
m h
is a
uto
bio
gra
phy.
In Q
7,pup
ils c
hoose (
a)
or
(b)
(althou
gh
(b)
is m
ore
lik
ely
) and p
rovid
e s
om
e s
imp
le
com
ments
, e.g
. he m
akes h
imself s
eem
re
ally
stu
pid
.
L3
In
Q1
, tw
o o
r th
ree
po
int id
entified fro
m the
follo
win
g: m
oto
rbik
es, e
xo
tic f
ish,
eld
erly
people
, spo
rts, w
ate
r-skiin
g, C
lydesda
le
ho
rses, se
lf-r
eticu
latin
g irr
igation s
yste
ms,
but oth
er,
inapp
ropriate
, po
ints
ma
y a
lso
be
inclu
de
d.
Qu
ota
tio
n o
r re
fere
nce
ma
y b
e m
issin
g o
r it
ma
y p
ara
ph
rase t
he t
ext,
e.g
. h
e inclu
de
s
som
e o
ld p
eople
in h
is s
tory
.
In Q
2, pup
ils r
espond a
t a m
ore
litera
l le
ve
l o
r answ
er
ma
y b
e b
ased o
n p
ers
ona
l specu
lation
, e.g
. h
e m
ust
be
upset
be
ca
use h
e is h
idin
g u
nd
er
his
de
sk a
nd
cry
ing
.
In Q
4, pup
ils m
ay r
espond m
ore
litera
lly t
o
wh
at th
e k
ids s
aid
or
did
or
answ
ers
ma
y
be b
ased o
n p
ers
ona
l spe
cula
tion, e.g
. it
wo
uld
be r
ea
lly e
mb
arr
assin
g. A
n
exp
lanation m
ay n
ot be p
rovid
ed.
In Q
5, so
me o
f th
e p
roble
ms a
nd/o
r so
lutions a
re identified.
There
ma
y b
e little o
r no c
om
ment. P
up
ils
ma
y r
espond a
t th
e le
ve
l of chara
cte
r ra
the
r th
an s
tructu
re, e.g
. because h
e d
oes
sill
y th
ings a
t th
e e
nd
.
In Q
3,
there
ma
y b
e little o
r no c
om
ment.
Answ
ers
ma
y r
ely
on p
ara
phra
se o
r specu
lation
, e.g
. h
is e
yes w
ere
mis
ting
o
ve
r o
r h
e is v
ery
worr
ied
ab
ou
t h
is b
oo
k.
In Q
6,
responses identify
the m
ain
pu
rpose, e
.g.
because it’s h
is
auto
bio
gra
phy, but m
ay a
lso r
ely
on a
m
ore
pe
rsona
l re
sponse, e.g
. it’s
a c
leve
r th
ing t
o d
o.
In Q
7, pup
ils m
ay m
ake
an inappro
priate
cho
ice
, e.g
. (c
). C
om
men
ts m
ay e
xp
ress a
pe
rsona
l vie
wpo
int, e
.g.
it w
as fu
nny to
rea
d.
B3
IE
Ove
rall
asse
ssm
ent
(tic
k o
ne b
ox o
nly
) S
ecu
re 4
Lo
w 4
Secu
re 3
Lo
w 3
B
elo
w 3
22 Secondary National Strategy | Assessing pupils’ progress in © Crown copyright 2006English at Key Stage 3 DfES 1789-2005 CDO-EN
Secondary
Nat
iona
l Str
ateg
yfo
r sc
hool
imp
rove
men
t
23© Crown copyright 2006 Secondary National Strategy | Assessing pupils’ progress in DfES 1789-2005 CDO-EN English at Key Stage 3
Question 1
1. List four ideas that different readers suggest for the writer’s next book (AF2).
Find and copy a quotation that shows how the writer tries to use one of these ideas in hisbook (AF2).
Level 3: Response and commentary
Three correct ideas are listed, even if not in the exact terms of the text – “travelling… ona motobike”; “with an acweriam” (aquarium), implying a reference to exotic fish; “granon the back”, implying a reference to elderly people. No quotation is given in answer tothe second part of the question.
Exemplar responses
Level 4: Response and commentary
Four correct ideas are listed, together with an imprecise but generally appropriatequotation in answer to the second part of the question.
24 Secondary National Strategy | Assessing pupils’ progress in © Crown copyright 2006English at Key Stage 3 DfES 1789-2005 CDO-EN
25© Crown copyright 2006 Secondary National Strategy | Assessing pupils’ progress in DfES 1789-2005 CDO-EN English at Key Stage 3
Level 5: Response and commentary
Four correct ideas are listed, together with an appropriate quotation covering two of thechosen ideas, in answer to the second part of the question.
2. Explain why the writer hides under his desk and cries at the end (AF3).
Level 3: Response and commentary
Comment is largely at the literal level of explaining that the postman “is bringing abundle of letters”, but there is implicit recognition that this is related to the problem ofgathering ideas.
Level 4: Response and commentary
This answer is not very fully developed, but does make the obvious inference that “he’shad enough idea’s” and that so many ideas are themselves now causing problems.
Level 5: Response and commentary
Inference is used to develop an explanation of the textual evidence, explaining that thearrival of another bundle of letters involved a re-writing of the story and the writer wasnow suffering from an excess of ideas – “didn’t want to know more”.
26 Secondary National Strategy | Assessing pupils’ progress in © Crown copyright 2006English at Key Stage 3 DfES 1789-2005 CDO-EN
27© Crown copyright 2006 Secondary National Strategy | Assessing pupils’ progress in DfES 1789-2005 CDO-EN English at Key Stage 3
3. The writer chooses words and phrases to show how he feels about his new book.Complete the table to show how he does this. One example has been done to help you (AF5).
Level 3: Response and commentary
There is little comment and this answer largely relies on recycling of the given quotationsto “clarify” their meaning.
Words and phrases usedby the writer
“It’s my new book’s firstday,” I said, voicetrembling
“Trembling” shows that his voice sounds as if he isgoing to cry because he is upset about sending his book away
What they show about his feelings for his book
Level 4: Response and commentary
Comment is made on all three quotations, with the first precisely explaining how the useof “baby” emphasises the writer’s feelings towards his new book – “he loves his newbook” – with the further amplification “how precious it is to him”. Comment on theother two quotations relates them to the writer’s feelings only in a generalised way.
Level 5: Response and commentary
Appropriate comment is made on all three quotations to show how they emphasise thewriter’s feelings towards his new book. The first explains how the use of “baby” stressesthe writer’s feelings towards his new book – “he really cares” – the second comments on“scary” in a more generalised way, noting simply that “it (his book) will be scared”, andthe third makes the inference that “misted over” indicates “he is crying”, which furtherunderlines the point that he “is really upset”.
28 Secondary National Strategy | Assessing pupils’ progress in © Crown copyright 2006English at Key Stage 3 DfES 1789-2005 CDO-EN
29© Crown copyright 2006 Secondary National Strategy | Assessing pupils’ progress in DfES 1789-2005 CDO-EN English at Key Stage 3
4. How do the kids react to their father’s strange behaviour; explain how we know?Answer as fully as you can (AF3).
Level 3: Response and commentary
This answer gives a literal account of what the kids said and how they explained that hehad been overprotective when they started school.
Level 4: Response and commentary
The comment that “The kids react by telling him what is wrong” implies an awareness oftheir shock and surprise by the use of supporting quotations that refer to some aspects ofthe father’s unusual behaviour.
Level 5: Response and commentary
Some understanding is shown of the ambivalent reaction of the kids. On the one handthere is resignation – “it’s all been done before” – but on the other they are “alsoembarressed”. In addition, there is an implicit appreciation of how the kids’ situation has,if anything, grown slightly more ludicrous in that before “they were at school but now it’sa publishing buiding” and furthermore it’s “lunch and a drink for a manuscipt”.
30 Secondary National Strategy | Assessing pupils’ progress in © Crown copyright 2006English at Key Stage 3 DfES 1789-2005 CDO-EN
31© Crown copyright 2006 Secondary National Strategy | Assessing pupils’ progress in DfES 1789-2005 CDO-EN English at Key Stage 3
5. Each text is organised in a similar way, for example:• the writer has a problem• his kids try to help• the problem is sorted out
Complete the grid to show how Texts 2 and 3 are organised in this way (AF4).
Level 3: Response and commentary
Points identified in the two boxes related to Text 2 show some awareness in a generalway of the writer’s problem – that he’s worried about ideas for his book – and a moreprecise understanding of the resolution. Only a generic comment is made about thenature of the endings.
Level 4: Response and commentary
Points identified in all four boxes are appropriate, showing an understanding of thewriter’s problems and how these are resolved, supported by a straightforward, butrelevant, comment on the endings.
32 Secondary National Strategy | Assessing pupils’ progress in © Crown copyright 2006English at Key Stage 3 DfES 1789-2005 CDO-EN
33© Crown copyright 2006 Secondary National Strategy | Assessing pupils’ progress in DfES 1789-2005 CDO-EN English at Key Stage 3
Level 5: Response and commentary
Points identified in all four boxes are appropriate, showing an understanding of thewriter’s problems and how these are resolved. Comment draws attention to the fact thatthe ending of each text “pulls everything together”, but that this is done in a “humourusway” implying that such a conclusion rounds off matters in a way that would satisfy the reader.
6. Why do you think the writer has chosen the title bits of an autobiography I may notwrite (AF6)?
Level 3: Response and commentary
This comment shows some awareness that the reference in the title to “bits… I may notwrite” implies that the writer feels his work has weaknesses/limitations – “he doesn’tthink the book is satisfactery to be a good book”.
Level 4: Response and commentary
There is evidence of some understanding of what an autobiography is – “written anautobiography about his day” – and an awareness that the writer feels his work haslimitations – “dos’nt know whether it will be published or not”.
34 Secondary National Strategy | Assessing pupils’ progress in © Crown copyright 2006English at Key Stage 3 DfES 1789-2005 CDO-EN
35© Crown copyright 2006 Secondary National Strategy | Assessing pupils’ progress in DfES 1789-2005 CDO-EN English at Key Stage 3
Level 5: Response and commentary
This comment shows some awareness that the reference in the title to “bits... I may notwrite” implies that the writer feels his work has weaknesses/limitations – “the textembarrasses him”. There is also an understanding that in an autobiography, the writer ismaking revelations about himself – “how rubbish he is at common sense in life” – andthat therefore these should perhaps be the things he should/may “not write”.
7. What is the writer trying to do in bits of an autobiography I may not write?
Here are three statements. Tick the one you agree with most and explain why youchose it (AF6).
Level 3: Response and commentary
a) He is trying to show how difficult it is to be a writer
b) He is trying to make fun of himself and amuse the reader
c) He is trying to show that his children are really clever
An appropriate statement is ticked, but the supporting comment is related to it in only avery loose and generalised sense.
Level 4: Response and commentary
a) He is trying to show how difficult it is to be a writer
b) He is trying to make fun of himself and amuse the reader
c) He is trying to show that his children are really clever
An appropriate statement is ticked and the supporting comment paraphrases the point ina relevant, if generalised, way.
�
�
36 Secondary National Strategy | Assessing pupils’ progress in © Crown copyright 2006English at Key Stage 3 DfES 1789-2005 CDO-EN
37© Crown copyright 2006 Secondary National Strategy | Assessing pupils’ progress in DfES 1789-2005 CDO-EN English at Key Stage 3
Level 5: Response and commentary
a) He is trying to show how difficult it is to be a writer
b) He is trying to make fun of himself and amuse the reader
c) He is trying to show that his children are really clever
An appropriate statement is ticked and the supporting comment explains that the writeruses his own problems because they are “quite funny” enabling him to keep the reader“entertained” and so ensure a continuing readership for his works.
�
These materials have been developed by QCA in partnership with the Secondary National Strategy.
The help provided by the teachers and pupils who have trialled the materials as part of the Monitoring Pupils’ Progress in English project has been invaluable.