Best Practices for Parenting Gifted Children

Friends of Johnston ELPJanuary 12, 2015

Mary Schmidt, Heartland AEA270.0405 ext. 14375

mschmidt@heartlandaea.org

Are you tired of hearing…

Joys and Challenges

Joys Challenges

Issues

• Perfectionism/Mindset• Asynchrony/Intensity• Introversion• Executive skills deficits– Disorganized– Poor time management

Perfectionism

Putting the “Breaks” on Perfectionism

Min

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The Columbus Group

Giftedness is asynchronous development in which advanced cognitive abilities and heightened intensity combine to create inner experiences and awareness that are qualitatively different from the norm. This asynchrony increases with higher intellectual capacity. The uniqueness of the gifted renders them particularly vulnerable and requires modifications in parenting, teaching and counseling in order for them to develop optimally. (The Columbus Group, 1991)Morelock, M. J. Understanding Our Gifted Open Space Communications Vol. 4, No. 3, pp. 1, 11-15 January/February 1992

Asynchronous Development

• Looking like a 6 year old.

• Thinking like a 12 year old.

• Acting like a 4 year old.

• Arguing like a high-priced middle-aged lawyer.

Asynchrony

…the term used to describe the mismatch between cognitive, emotional, and physical development of gifted individuals. 1 Gifted children often have significant variations within themselves and develop unevenly across skill levels. For example, a gifted child may be excellent in math, but poor in reading--or vice versa. Often, intellectual skills are quite advanced, but fine motor or social skills are lagging. http://www.nagc.org/resources-publications/resources/social-emotional-issues/asynchronous-development#sthash.o4b0B9Sh.dpuf

UNEVEN PROFILES

• Strengths and Talents• “Kryptonite”

Asynchronous Development

“…as gifted children mature, they “grow into” their intellect and become more balanced, more normal. The more extreme the intellectual advancement is, the more extreme the asynchrony. Social and emotional development depends on the way we perceive and process information and therefore is profoundly influenced by our intellect.” http://sengifted.org/archives/articles/asynchronous-developmen#sthash.T9ho5zux.dpuf

What is Intensity?• great energy, strength, concentration,

vehemence, etc., as of activity, thought, or feeling

• a high degree of emotional excitement; depth of feeling

--Dictionary.com

Overexcitability is…

…an innate tendency to respond in an intensified manner to various forms of stimuli, both external and internal (Piechowski, 1979, 1999)…being spirited – “more intense, sensitive, perceptive, persistent, energetic (Kurcinka, 1991)…life experienced more deeply, more vividly, and more acutely sensed

Overexcitabilities

• Psychomotor• Sensual• Imaginational• Emotional• Intellectual

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Major Differences

• Source of energy– Extravert – outer world– Introvert – inner world

• Layers of personality– Extraverts – single layer– Introverts – public & private

Strategies• Support the child rather than trying to change

him/her• Give him/her “alone” time• Don’t assume that alone is bad• Learn the signs of depression• provide a private space

guarantee/protect quiet timemodel “alone” not “lonely” talk

Strategies• protect their right to say “enough” when they’re

in an extraverted situation• provide small group activities• provide coping strategies for those times when

they have to act extraverted• talk about your own personality needs• discuss books that feature introverts (Evan’s

Corner, The Man Who Lived Alone, A Bridge to Terabithia, A Wrinkle in Time, The Silver Pony, A Time to Fly Free, Chasing Redbird, The View From Saturday)

Smart but Scattered

Executive Skills*

Brain-based skills that are required for humans to execute, or perform tasks…the ability to plan, sustain attention, organize, and regulate his feelings and how he acts on them.

~Dawson & Guare, p. 13

*Self-regulating behavior

Executive Skills Dimensions

Thinking (Cognition)• Working memory• Planning/prioritization• Organization• Time management• Metacognition

Doing (Behavior)• Response inhibition• Emotional control• Sustained attention• Task initiation• Goal-directed persistence• Flexibility