Being Precise

How upset [Max Planck] was whenever he inadvertently gave out the wrong information, whether in scientific publication or casual conversation, since despite all efforts at retraction, he knew that at least some untruth would always persist.

Lise Meitner

Concise

Familiar

Clear

Fluid

Precise

Forthright

Precision means choosing the right words and appropriate level of detail

detaildetaildetaildetaildetaildetaildetail

choosing the right word

choosing appropriatelevel of detail

wordwordword

right wordright wordwordwordwordwordwordwordword

Provide Specific Detail

BAD:

“Put enough air in your tires.”

(How much air is “enough”?)

GOOD:

“Fill your tires to 32 pounds per square inch.”

Specific detail

Vague word

Choose words carefully because many scientific terms have specific meanings

The last decade has seen a rapid developmentof new techniques for studying the enormouslycomplex phenomena associated with the develop-ment of sparks and other gas discharges.

The last decade has seen a rapid developmentof new techniques for studying the enormouslycomplex phenomena associated with the develop-ment of sparks and other gas discharges.

spark: the transient irreversible event from one steady state of the electrical breakdown process to another.

gas discharge: any of the three steady states of the electrical breakdown process.

Voltage

Current

spark

discharge

Another consideration in choosing the correct word is the connotation

Denotation

dictionarymeaning

adequate:sufficient; enoughfor what is required

Connotation

suggested meaning

adequate:sufficient

adequate:insufficient

Words have both denotations andconnotations

inexpensive

unusual

simple

clear

cost-effective

novel

streamlined

cheap

strange

simplistic

Negative Neutral Positive

obvious

Precision means choosing the right words and appropriate level of detail

detaildetaildetaildetaildetaildetaildetail

choosing the right word

choosing appropriatelevel of detail

wordwordword

right wordright wordwordwordwordwordwordwordword

R.I.P.

Complex wording also buries ideas

This study will consider why current solar energysystems, such as Solar One, have not reached thecommercial stage and will explore the steps we can take to make these systems commercial.

The goal of this study is to develop a commerciali-zation strategy for solar energy systems by analyzingfactors impeding early commercial projects (i.e., SOLAR ONE) and by identifying the potential actionsthat can facilitate the viability of the projects.

Stacking adjectives before nouns swallows the ideas

Solar One is a solar-powered pilot plant located near Barstow, California. Solar One produces 10 megawatts of electricity by capturing solar energy in a central receiver design.

Solar One is a 10 megawatt solar thermal electric central receiver Barstow power pilot plant.

Complex sentences misdirect readers

The goal of the work was to confirm the nature of electrical breakdown of nitrogen in uniform fields at high pressures and electrode gaps which approach those obtained in engineering practice, prior to the deter-mination of the processes which set the criterion for breakdown in the above-mentioned gas in uniform and non-uniform fields of engineering significance.

At high pressures (760 torr) and typical electrode gapdistances (1 mm), the electrical breakdown of nitrogen was studied inuniform fields.

The more muddled the original, the more revisions are needed to streamline it

At high pressures (760 torr) and typical electrode gapdistances (1 mm), the electrical breakdown of nitrogen was studied inuniform fields.

In our study, we examined the electrical breakdown of nitrogen in uniform fields. For these experiments, the electrode gap distances were typical (1 mm), while the pressures were relatively high (760 torr).

The "Big Bang" is the most credible theory for the creation of the universe. Nevertheless, it explains the creation of only helium and hydrogen. What about the other elements? Many scientists believe that those elements came from nuclear reactions in the life and death cycles of stars.

Archaic structures sound unnatural

In that the "Big Bang," currently the most credible theory for how the universe was created, explains only hydrogen and helium, we are left to theorize as to how all the other elements came into being. Having studied the nuclear reactions that constitute the life and death cycles of stars, many scientists believe that there lies the key.

Generalities that are not anchored with specifics are soon forgotten

After recognizing some problems with the solar mirrors, we took subsequent corrective measures.

Trash

After finding that high winds (and not hail) had cracked the ten solar mirrors, we began stowing all mirrors in a horizontal position during thunderstorms.

For precise language, you should avoid over-specifying details

The number of particular hydrocarbon combinations in our study is enormous. For example, the number of possible C20H42 is 366,319 and the number for C40H82 is 62,491,178,805,831.

The number of hydrocarbon combinations in our study is enormous. For example, the number of possible C40H82 is more than 62 trillion.

Eliminate Unnecessary Expressions

Instead of this

We are of the opinion that

Please feel free to

In addition to the above

At this point in time

Despite the fact that

Try this

We think

Please

Also

Now

Although

Limit Long Lead-ins

Instead of this

This memo is to inform you that all employees meet today.

I am writing this letter to say thanks to everyone who voted.

Try this

All employees meet today.

Thanks to everyone who voted.

Drop Unnecessary Fillers Revise sentences to avoid fillers such as there is/was and it is/was when used merely to take up space.

Instead of this

There was only one employee who should be promoted.

It was Lisa and Jeff who were honored.

Try this

Only one employee should be promoted.

Lisa and Jeff were honored.

Remove Redundant Words

Avoid unnecessarily repetitious words. What words could be omitted in these expressions?

advance warningclose proximityexactly identicalfilled to capacityfinal outcomenecessary requisitenew beginningpast historyrefer backserious danger

Omit Trite Expressions

Trite and Outdated

as per your request

pursuant to your request

attached hereto

under separate cover

Modern

at your request

at your request

attached

separately

Avoid Slang and Clichés Avoid informal expressions that have changed meanings.

Avoid clichés. Substitute more precise words.

Try this

We could go no further.

Instead of this

We had reached the end of our rope.

For precision, you must choose theappropriate level of detail

Operations at the plant stopped momentarilybecause the thermal storage charging systemdesuperheater attemperator valve was replaced.

Operations at the plant stopped for 1.5 hoursso that a valve in the thermal storage systemcould be replaced.

Choose the right word….

affect or effect

affect = verb: means to influenceeffect = noun: means a result.

comprise or compose

comprise = to include; to consist ofThe whole comprised the parts.NOT: The whole is comprised of the parts.

compose = to make by combining things

Choose the right word….

continuous or continual

continual = repeatedly; frequently recurring

continuous = without interruption

fewer or less

fewer: for items that can be countede.g., fewer errors, fewer fish, fewer cells

less: for items that cannot be counted.e.g., less air, less water, less

Choose the right word….

compliment or complement

compliment = an expression of praise

complement = something that completes; one of two things that go together

farther or further

farther: location

further: time, intensity, depth of meaning

Choose the right word….

that or which

that: Use “that” for defining clauses

We will select the option that has the highest thermal efficiency.

The clause “that has the highest thermal efficiency” defines the choice.

which: use “which” for non-defining clauses

We will select option A, which has the highest thermal efficiency.

Which clauses are separated by a comma.