Researched, Edited, Produced and Distributed by Leigh Bourne and friendsContact : 07960 048071 - leigh_bourne@hotmail.com - Facebook

JULY 2015

BIG BOXY GIRLS IN HAY

FREE ALCOHOL&

11.34: Arrived at crime scene11.34: Examined body. Signs of astruggle11.34: Found murder weapon indrain11.34: Realised watch was broken

Pretty soon the only place youwill be able to buy a Confederate

flag will be the black market.

Oh the irony.

I just heard a woman on CBC newssaying to the reporter, "I just thankGod Barbados is all in one piece andnobody got hurt."Somehow she forgot to thank herkind hearted imaginary friend forsending the earthquake in the first‘kin place !

THE MOMENT YOU NOTICE THATTHE PERSON BEFORE YOU DIDN’T FLUSH

W� ��� � ������ �� ���������� ��� ���� ����� -������ ‘����� �������

���� ���� �����’ �� ‘��� ������������ ���� ��� ������’ - �� ��������� �� ���� ��� ������.2016 bears special significance forBarbados and Barbadians everywhere.We are 50 years old - 50 years sinceindependence…and 50 yearssince our flagwas first raisedthat night onthe GarrisonSavannah. Ifgroups andi n d i v i d u a l scashed-in in previous years …you canbet they’ll pull out all the stops, tricksand rhetoric to cash-in big time next year.But what about officially ? What arethe High Commissions’ newbies doingor got in mind ?Well …we heard that a consultativecommittee has been formed. Great ideaand a sensible move. Pick the brains ofa selected few …well known people withgood reputations, of solid character andwith proven track records of success inthe community. We agreedwholeheartedly. Then we heard thenames of the ‘selected few’. Oh dear !Not all - but proven track record, a goodreputation and of solid character …aredesignations that eludes… and will

always elude a few of them. Some ofthese bastions …these community highflyers …have left dense and highlyvisible vapour trails - so you might beasking yourselves … why or how didthey manage to get selected ?The answer ? They are our squeakywheels. People that - like to be heard andhear themselves - always put themselves

in the spotlight -say all the rightthings - bullshitincessantly …andone or two stillhold out hope ofeither getting agong …orbecoming only the

second UK based Bajan to be appointedDeputy High Commissioner …ala OwenEversley.It has been mooted that as long as thesewallas are kept away from managing anyevent …and are around in the initialstages only to ‘suggest’ … then thingsshould be ok - any more than that then…lawd help us !

ATTENTION !W� ��� ������ �� ���� �������…���� …������ …��� ������������� �� ��� DLP UK�’��������� ����������� …T��E���� E��. H�� ��� ���� ������(��� ��������) �� ���� ���� ��� ?G��� �� � ������ �� �� ��� !

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D���� C���������, P�������� �� ���C������ P���� M������� says :

If there is a group of inexperienced andirresponsible “leaders” who have doneserious damage to our country that groupis not to be found in the trade unions ofBarbados ! Rather, they are to be foundin the Freundel Stuart-led DemocraticLabour Party administration !

Read his full statement HERE

Charles Darwin wrote : Great is thepower of steady misrepresentation - buthistory shows that fortunately …thispower does not long endure.

Let’s get a fewthings straighthere. The National

Council of BarbadosAssociations (NCBA UK) is very mucha one man band … it has nocredibility… is as nebulous as it ispointless …exists only outside Londonand then only because its existence isbuilt on hills and heaps of rawunadulterated bullshit.The one man band is Tyrone Roach -Chairman of this NCBA and the BarbadosNation newspaper’s UK representative.As chair of the NCBA …as described byhim… he was entrusted with the task oforganising a series of ‘meet and greet’events with organisations outside Londonfor the then new team at the HighCommission. This he did.We’re not sure if this was deliberatelystated or if it emerged through Chinesewhispers …but somewhere along the lineit became known that Mr Roach was incharge of the social diary for Deputy HighCommissioner Anthea Wiggins.When this nonsense was dispelled and theutter uselessness of the NCBA was

realised … deeply personal baseless andunsavoury rumours emerged. A collisionwas inevitable.A gathering of London groups wasorganised and they met at the HighCommission. This was not an NCBA

meeting … Mr Roach attended weassume …as the Barbados NationUK representative. The Deputy HCoutlined her ideas which includedreorganising and or re-branding theNCBA - as you could guess …thisdid not go down well with the oneman band. BIM NEWS 4615swiftly followed.In it Mr Roach accused the Deputy

HC of not doing as she’s told …andquestioned why a duly appointed officialof the Barbados government withresponsibility for our community…would want to re-brand and reorganise anNCBA that is sadly lacking membership,vision, credibility, shape or purpose…and one whose leader has a far worsereputation than the org itself.For instance …this is the same TyroneRoach who fled north to Birmingham andcreated ‘A lil bit of Bim’ after HerbieYearwood booted him out of and faraway from what is now the BarbadosCultural Organisation and its annualcricket fundraiser. Why ? …iffy finances.And we’re being kind.It is clear Mr Roach is using both theNCBA and his role as the BarbadosNation’s UK representative to create adifferent more palatable version ofhimself …but the office of Deputy HC isabout to throw a massive spanner in hismachinations… and he doan like it ! Cont’d

But that’s not all ! We’re wondering why …after having heavy involvement in andthen attending a recent fundraiser at a London Holiday Inn …did not a single pictureappear either on his Face Book page or in the UK edition of the Nation newspaper?Something somewhere must’ve gone seriously awry ! Is it all starting to unravel ?It is said the higher a monkey climbs the more he shows his ass …and right now…this monkeys’ ass is being bared for all to see.

The recent budget did nothing otherthan try to hoodwink the nation …andhammer young people.David Cameron, like most of his cabinet,sway in whatever direction the wind isblowing …he has gone from ‘hugging ahoodie’ to ‘bashing the b**tards’.In fact, if you’re old, sick, disabled,unemployed or any combination of theabove …you’re now firmly in the crosshairs of this sadistic bunch of Etonianswho seem to be using ‘austerity’ as ameans to punish the middle to lower socioeconomic groups …and you better believe…there’s more to come !

Its all ……BOLLOCKS !Isn’t it marvellous …how the mediacan positively comment on 65 year oldBruce Jenner (that guy who was worldfamous in America but is now a woman)calling it beautiful …but absolutelyvilify Serena Williams …a worldchampion and powerhouse with a bodymost women would kill to get. What’sthat all about ? The media circussurrounding a guy who swapped histhree piece suite for a woman’s wetteris nothing short of ridiculous. Well…never mind Serena …most ordinaryguys would rather wake up next to youany day ! Oooh ! …..... Did we say itsall bollocks ? Perhaps not eh ?

Its official - DAB radio quality is worsethan 1960’s analogue - and it shouldn’tbe.DAB could’ve been fantastic …theinternet of the airwaves… but now we'restuck with low bit-rate MPEG2, when wecould've had Variable Bitrate (VBR) orlossless or even automatic codec updating(an implicit ability of digital networks) ascompression technology evolves.Instead.. they effed the whole thing upwith a combination of vested interests andcorporately-blinkered myopia…so DABradio sets are staying firmly inwarehouses and on shop shelves as moreand more people stick with FM and orconnect their mobile phones to car stereos.To hook up your phone to your car issimple - just make sure your phonecontract includes all you can eat data.A little tip for those of us whose lovedones are suffering from dementia. Afriend told us about her dad, who is in anursing home, constantly losingwhatever money he was given. Thiswent on for months until a visit to ToysR’ Us with her young son.She saw toy but real enough lookingmoney on sale and had a brainwave.Since giving her dad the toy money the‘losses’ have almost stopped. She’shappy cos any lost fake money is easilyreplaced - and he’s happy cos he believesthere’s cash in his wallet. Sorted

1. Trafalgar Square was a bus terminusfor 25 years until February 1950 whenbuses were moved to Probyn Street.2. The first landing at Seawell Airportwas in October 1938.3. In February 1939 Jewish passengersin a steamship were refused asylum inBarbados.4. In October 1937 Marcus Garveydelivered an address at Queen's Park.The topic was " ��� ��� ��� ����������� "5. The first Miss Barbados was MaggieGabriel of Fontabelle - that was July1933.6. The July 1933 election of Mr. AlbertHanschell as a member of the theGeneral Assembly for the parish of St.Lucy was declared null and void due toproven allegations of bribery and undueinfluence.7. September 1933 bus driver CharlesVaughn was fined six shillings fortalking to passengers whilst driving.8. The Advocate newspaper September1941 …reported that Mrs. ElizabethBelgrave (Aunt Betsie) of Boscobel, St.Peter died at her residence at the age of122 years.9. Mr. Errol Barrow, declared at a publicmeeting in St. Philip that if he had is wayhe would put all white people on theLord Combermere (a tug boat) …takethem out to sea …and sink it.

UK Bajans have been gathering in smallgroups on Fridays nights and orSaturdays for decades …its thedescription ‘����’ that is relatively new.There was a time when the core reasonfor gathering was just to eat and drinkand hear Bajan - that changed slightlywhen the much missed A�� A�����G���� combined the provision of Bajanfare with the sale of Bajan art. Thechange today, except up north, is thetakeover by entrepreneurs. In case youdon’t know …here is when, how orwhere you could find one :• D� R�� S��� L��� 1st Friday every month @ South Hampstead CC Milverton Road London NW6 7ARThis is the most regular and is alwaysthemed.• S���� W������’� L���. VariousSouth East London locations mostSaturdays - notifications sent via text andWhatsApp.• D� B���� L���. Bar Locks, 21 Whitechurch Lane, London E1 7QR.Notifications via WhatsApp andFaceBook.• B���������'� 2�� G��������� G����. BCA Jenkins Street SmallHeath B’ham. Held monthly -notification via email.• B.O.C.A. Aiming to be held everythird Friday @ the Clubhouse DulwichSports Ground Turney Road SE21.Notification via text, email, FaceBookand WhatsApp.So …with most of the month covered…you’ll never be short of a ‘B����H��� O��’ !

S��� �������� ������������ ������ B�������.

By Charles Leacock

Rise of the LIMES

N�� ��������� ������������ �� B�������

C��������� S���� C������� : A 21year old white local was charged withnine counts of murder for an attack on ahistoric black South Carolina church.The South Carolina capital continues tofly the much despised Confederate flag…a flag generally considered to be apro-slavery symbol. You might besurprised to know that Charleston, SouthCarolina, is twinned with Speightstown.

Did you know that in 1951 Mr. D. D.Garner, M.C.P. Senior Member for St.Philip suggested in the House ofAssembly that Negroes in Barbadosshould be repatriated to Africa ?

WANTED : Accomplished men andwomen of demonstrated integrity andleadership, who love Barbados, treasuretheir reputations, and are willing topresent themselves as candidates in thenext general elections in order to giveBarbadians a competent alternative.Prospective candidates must not viewpolitics as a career, but as a brief time ofexemplary national service. Expect:long working hours, vicious personalcriticisms, no pay, a slim chance of beingelected, and an exciting journey.Contact Grenville Phillips II at:NextParty246@gmail.comBefore you contact us, please do thefollowing :Read our Solutions on the Solutions page.Read Harold Hoyte’s book: “Eyewitnessto Order and Disorder”.Talk to your family and put your housein order.We do not intend to be elected to simplywait around long enough to earn apension. Rather, we intend to governresponsibly. A summary of our mainsolutions are described on our Solutionspage. They are designed to address themain problems hindering Barbados’, andtherefore your development. You areencouraged to comment, and we willhappily engage you in discussions ofhow they may be improved. Theimproved solutions will become ourpromises to you.

Visit our website HERE.One day we’ll stop doing this.

A�����

To

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T������ B������� - P���� C������������� C�����B������� B���� …��� S�������� S������ �� 11.00 ��.

For further info contact :Bruce 0208 302 1751; Leroy 07941 178907 ; Marilyn 0208 715 6101Gene 0208 671 5832; John 0208 689 2566 ; O Burke 0208 684 3847

Glyne 0208 764 1877 ; Pop 0208 653 7286 ; Ken 0208 9690417O Beckles 07506 077621

“Let me explain the nose job procedure”

Sheila regrets thePassionate night she spentwith the handsome Ostrichshe met on a trip to Paris

Innkeeper: "The room is £15 anight. It's £5 if you make your

own bed."

Guest: "I'll make my own bed."

Innkeeper: "Good. I'll get younails and some wood."

A woman was getting up the nerve tojump  off  a  cliff.  A  homeless  drunkstopped and asked, "If you're gonna killyourself, how about a quickie before yougo?" Totally disgusted the womanshouted  “Piss off you filthy old bastard" But… before  turning  to walk  away  hesmiled and said to her "No problem ­ I'lljust go and wait for you at the bottom"

I wonder if she still jumped ?

LONNIE CAROLINE

LORETTA

The dramatic decline in newspapersales and advertising revenues hasto be one of the most significant

and profound Schumpeterian gales ofcreative destruction in perhaps the lastgeneration.So talk of increased sales of the UKversion of the Barbados Nation causedus to raise a collective eyebrow - wedecided to do some basic research.Between 1971 and 1991 the census showsthe number of people born in Barbadosand living in the UK fell from 27,055 to22,294.The 2001 census shows the number ofpeople born in Barbados and living in theUK fell again …to 21,601.The 2011 census shows the number ofpeople born in Barbados and living in theUK fell again to … 18,672.It is also fact that the people most likelyto buy the Nation are Bajan born.. arewithout access to or interest in the internet…and are probably well over sixty… we

suspect them to be the vast majority ofthat 18.672.In reality you must subtract a good fewbecause of infirmity, subtract even morebecause of those who share editions…and even more for those who just don’tgive a damn …do that and a huge chunkof that number disappears.Less than 5% of the UK editions’ contentrelate to the UK Bajan community. Therest of it is an amalgam of the Barbadosnews from the previous week - news thatis freely available on the internet…andnot just from the Nation.Internet wise… The Nations’ subscriptionbased e-edition seems to have failed…and tech wise though they’re playingcatchup to Barbados Today and TheBajan Reporter their new news site looksvery good. That said …and however youlook at it …the UK readership is shrinking… because simply put …