Bad Jokes:

Today at the bank, an old lady asked me to help check her balance.So I pushed her over.She survived because the check bounced.

"I'd like to see a world without plagiarism. You may say I'm a dreamer... but I'm not the only one..."

"My girlfriend - it's difficult to say what she does - she sells sea shells on the sea shore."

I told my girlfriend she drew her eyebrows too high.She seemed surprised.

I got fired from the orange juice factory because I couldn't concentrate.

I don't trust the trees, they're kinda shady.

A ship carrying blue paint and a ship carrying red paint both crashed on an island. All the sailors were marooned.

I ate a clock yesterday, it was very time consuming.

A string walks into a bar. The bartender says, "We don't serve strings here." So, the string waits and goes back the next day, it's the same bartender and he says, "Hey, I told you, we don't serve strings here."So the string ties itself up and unravels its ends. He goes back the next day and the bartender eyes his suspiciously. "Are you a string."The string replies, "I'm afraid not."