Argumentativeness and Verbal Aggressiveness

Two orientations toward arguing

argumentativeness

Definition: “A predisposition to recognize controversial issues, advocate positions, and refute opposing positions” (Infante)

Is viewed as a personality trait Is considered a subset of “assertiveness” Is generally considered to be a positive,

constructive trait

argumentativeness--continued

Assertiveness and argumentativeness are viewed as constructive predispositions

Assertiveness includes being forceful, firm, using reasoning to defend personal positions while refuting the positions of adversaries

Research has shown that “high argumentatives” are seen as more credible, eloquent, creative, and self-assured

argumentativeness--continued

High argumentatives

– are willing to engage in argument

– like to discuss controversial issues

– initiate arguments, express disagreement

Low argumentatives

– dislike arguing, shy away from conflict

– withdraw from arguments

– are reluctant to voice disagreement

“I’m not yelling at you, I’m yelling with you.”

a happy medium is the key

The idea is to strike a balance– Don’t precipitate

arguments needlessly

– Don’t avoid arguments altogether.

One’s style of arguing should lie between the two extremes.

Constructive Destructive

assertiveness hostility

argumentativeness verbal

aggressiveness

verbal aggressiveness

Definition: a predisposition to attack the self-concept of others

Is associated with name-calling, the use of threats, and ultimatums, negativity, resentment, and suspicion

is generally considered a negative, destructive form of communication

Four main causes of aggressiveness

Argumentative skill deficiency Psychopathology (attacking for

other unresolved issues) Disdain (expressing hate

through verbal attacks) Social learning (modeling

behavior) “I shall now poke a huge hole in your argument”

verbal aggressiveness--continued

Verbal aggressiveness is an assault on another’s self concept, rather than his/her position.

Individuals who rely on verbal aggressiveness are viewed as less credible, have less satisfying relationships, and resort to physical aggression more often.

more on verbal aggressiveness

Consequences of verbal aggression include:

– lower self-concept, frustration, anxiety, anger, and resentment, embarrassment, physical aggression

verbal aggressiveness is viewed as a skill deficiency– an individual lacks the verbal skills required to

deal with normal disagreements and everyday frustrations

types of verbal aggressiveness

name calling, insults, put-downs

character attacks, ridicule racial epithets threats, ultimatums nonverbal aggression—

rolling the eyes, gritting the teeth, looks of disdain

passive-aggressive behavior

caveats

The two traits are not inversely related (e.g. opposites).

– an individual can be high in argumentativeness and high in verbal aggressiveness

Sex differences in the two traits

– in general, males are more prone to argumentativeness than females

– in general, males are more prone to verbal aggressiveness than females

Western culture bias in favor of argumentativeness

application to interpersonal communication

17.07

17.60

16.81

19.49

23.41

22.03

Adaptable roommate

Obstinate roommate

High argumentatives

Moderate argumentatives

Low argumentatives

p < .01

p < .025

Managing verbal aggressiveness Avoid verbal aggressivess: don’t

engage people who are known to be verbally aggressive—don’t be an “enabler”

– Example: I’m not going to argue with you unless we both have a chance to speak our minds and unless you refrain from insults.”

Be polite: allow the other to speak without interruption, use a calm voice, practice empathy, allow opponent’s to save face

– Example: “I can understand why you are so upset. I would be too under the circumstances.”

Define the argument: Make sure everyone agrees on what the issue or point of contention is

– Example: “We were arguing about where to spend Thanksgiving, not whether I’m selfish or inconsiderate.”

– Example: “Let’s deal with that issue in a minute. I want to get back to what we were just talking about.”

Recognize shifts from constructive to destructive

– Example: “I realize you are upset, but that was uncalled for.”

– Example: “please don’t shout at me. I can hear you just fine.”

Managing verbal aggressiveness Do argue, Don’t attack: focus on the

issues not on personalities– Example: “I’m not saying you are

selfish or cheap, I’m saying you didn’t pay your share for the dinner, whatever the reason.”

Be aware: Be attentive to the kinds of situations that can trigger aggressiveness:

– Win-lose scenarios, personal rejection, “sandbagging” (storing up grievances)

Know when to stop arguing: leave-taking is also a communication skill:

– Example: “If you continue to call me names, I’m going to hang up.”

Use a referee: invite a neutral 3rd party to observe a dispute.

– People are more likely to be on their good behavior if a 3rd party is present.

Argue in a public place: Go to a Starbucks or some other public place to talk.

application to intimate relationships “Skill Deficiency Model”: lack of argumentation

skills is a catalyst for aggression, violence. Watkins (1982): lack of effective conflict

management skills is a major issue in domestic violence

Infante, Sabourin, Rudd, & Shannon (1990): violence is most likely to happen in marriages where both spouses have latent hostile dispositions and argumentative skill deficiencies.