Allah does not charge a soul except [with that within] its capacity.... (2:286)

Such a vast amount of information goes into our heads. Obviously, the best of it is the words of our

Creator. But it can take a lot for that information to mature into knowledge and understanding. It can take hardships, and it takes time. Then, as lived experience merges over the years with information, what you know in your head settles in your heart and becomes a part of you. That is what happened for me with the last ayah of Surah al-Baqarah. I will share some deeply personal experiences with you, because I know that the hard lessons I learned from them were intended to benefit more than only me. And because you’re all so kind and sweet, I know you’ll forgive me for my failure in making it briefer, as I’ve edited until I could cut out no more.

The BackgroundAfter years of various trials, from me and my hijab getting kicked out of home one year after converting to Islam, to later losing the closeness of my Muslim friends when their husbands disapproved of my own choice of spouse, to living with the consequence of that decision and being “trapped” in a violent marriage with a baby on the way and later a newborn, isolated from friends and family, to living in shelters with my infant, and then going back home to a foolish dream of a better marital life that nevertheless felt safer than the nightmare of being alone and without support, after all this I found myself sobbing on the floor. Deep, body-shaking, soul-breaking sobs. I’d hit rock bottom, and my heart and mind were finally ripe for a breakthrough, for the realization.

The Realization“I feel that I can’t possibly bear this…Yet since Allah tells me in His Qur’an that He never tests a soul more than it can bear, it is an indisputable fact…So, I am mistaken in thinking that I can’t bear this…And since I can bear it, it means that Allah has put in and around me the resources I need to successfully pass this test.So, if I fail, it will entirely be my fault for giving up, for being lazy while I had the tools I needed to succeed. I’ll have conceded defeat of my own will, chosen to live as a looser.BUT if I do pass this test, it will be because I tap into those resources He’s given me to overcome this adversity, as He always intended.”

The ConvictionLa yukallifu Allahu nafsan illa wus`aha. I don’t know what I would have done without this promise from Him. I don’t think I’d still be around, to tell the truth. Allah SWT saved my life, and I began using it better, including taking my son and myself out of our poisonous environment. Oh! I’ve made tons of mistakes since then. But I’ve always found my strength in that conviction that Allah’s equipped me with what I need to get through.

The GapMy dear sisters, there are sooo many of us out there without that conviction. They feel alone, ashamed of having “placed” themselves in bad situations or various kinds, not knowing where to turn, from whom to seek help. And they often find that the community wants to sweep any traces of their experiences under the rug, and pretend that they (the crisis or the sisters?) don’t exist.

The SolutionAccess to support and guidance shouldn’t be elusive. There should be a simple, well-known way to reach out for help in our community. There should be resources in place to protect sisters from harming themselves with decisions as bad as me going back home to an abusive husband to avoid being out alone in a world unsupportive of single Muslim women. A source of sound, professional, ISLAMIC advice, non-patriarchal, and fully-accessible, that will help them sort out their situation in the wisest way, while reassuring them that Allah never tests us more than we can bear.

The AnswerWith Allah’s and then our help, Canada will soon have this the first ever Muslim Women’s HelpLine, insha’ Allah. Just one dollar a day for the next year will get this project up and running and serving our sisters in crises, whatever they may be. Please donate generously this Ramadan:

Anonymous Sister in Islam.

“...being “trapped” in a violent marriage with a baby on the way and later a newborn, isolated from friends and

family, to living in shelters with my infant”

A Message From A Sister

www.mercymission.ca/donate