Clergy Self-Care and Support Group Proposal

Alexander Dolin

Liberty University

Clergy Self-Care and Support Group

Introduction and Rationale

I am planning on starting a self-care group for local clergy. This will be a group of local

religious professionals from religious institutions and ministries in the surrounding area. The need

for clergy self-care and support groups is great. In many cases, pastors and clergy leaders are

isolated and forgotten about, yet these helpers need help too. The past twenty or so years of pastoral

trends have been pretty bleak : 70% of pastors are so stressed or burned out that they have

considered leaving the ministry, while 40% actually do quit (Krejcir, 1998, p. 1). A more recent

Pulpit and Pew research study determined that 76% of clergy were overweight compared to 61% of

the general population. Nearly 90% of pastors reported working over 55 hours a week. In

addition,And 90% admitted that they do not feel thatfeel that they were adequately prepared in

seminary to cope with their own pastoral care needs (Ferguson, 2007, p.16). These are just some of

the basic statistics marking the need for clergy support groups.

Pastors and ministers also commonly work alone, especially in rural and small churches.

They often are called upon to perform many roles in their congregation, with little or no supervisor,

co-leadership or support. Other key stressors include: financial stress, lack of family privacy,

frequent moves, spouse being on call, spouse is busy serving others and lack of ministry to clergy

family. Simply put, pastors have a lot of pressures on them, but supported pastors tend to produce

healthier churches (Trihub, McMinn, Buhrow Jr, & Johnson, 2010, p. 102).

There is little data regarding clergy support and therapy groups, although the information

that is available isavailable is encouraging. According to a study by the Austin Presbyterian

Seminary, Pastoral leaders who participate in peer groups are associated with congregations whose

members are highly involved in their churches. The members are being a part of the body of Christ!

This not only puts less stress and pressure on the pastor, but it also is a predictor of congregational

growth. The data also shows that the longer a pastor is in such a peer support group, the healthier he

is, and also the healthier his congregation is (Austin Presbyterian Seminary, 2010, p. 5). Even

atheists are seeing the need and advantages of support groups. The Clergy Project, a group

associated with Richard Dawkins, is offering a support group for clergy who have lost their faith

(Barrick, 2011). Other than these mentioned above, there is very little hard, solid researchsolid

research regarding the effectiveness of support groups with clergy.

The group I am proposing would be ran at Cross Pointe Church in Lancaster, Ohio. There

would be no need for any other staff members, as I am a key-holding ordained minister at the

church. We would hold our meeting in the side conference room left of the sanctuary. There are no

scheduling conflicts, with the church, on Tuesday evenings for this room. We can also serve coffee

in this room. I would take it on myself to see to it that I or someone else in the church would keep

us stocked on coffee. In its entirety, this group will last eight sessions and will be meetmeeting

weekly. For the purpose of this assignment, four sessions will be sampled below. The proposes of

the group are many: The primary goal is to help members to learn to deal with and properly manage

personal and ministry stresses. A secondary goal is to allow members to share the joys and

challenges of ministry and ministry issues by helping to build support networks among

professionals.

Sessions One Outline

ACTIVITY: Introduction to the Group and Physical Care

TIME ALLOTED: 1.5 hours

SUPPLIES: Notebook of paper, pen/pencil, Completed Intake Forms (optional)

GROUP SET-UP: Eight comfortable captain office chairs in the shape of a circle, each

chair facing the center of the circle to help facilitate group discussion and interactions.

OBJECTIVES:

1. To provide opportunity for group members to get to know each other

2. To provide clergy with an opportunity to identify one personal goal for growth

3. To provide participants an opportunity to evaluate their own physical care

DIRECTIONS:

1. Very briefly I will touch base on the intake form (see Appendix C) by going around the

room and introducing ourselves by name, ministry we are a part of and sharing what personal

goals have been established by every individual and if anything in the intake or informed consent

grabbed their attention. The intake form, given to every participant after the interview, is not a

required homework assignment but merely a tool that will help participants establish personal goals

before entering the group. If there is ambivalence regarding goals, I would ask the individual ,

"What is working in your life? What is not working in your life? What is one area you would be

willing to discuss today?" ( about 30 minutes total.)

2. I will read this script: There is lots of evidence that clergy do not take care of themselves

physically. Clergy are engaged in a stressful profession and neglecting their bodies makes them

very vulnerable. Everyone knows that in the abstract, but it is easy to neglect care of one‘s body in

practice. The most obvious areas of care for one‘s body are diet and physical exercise. A first step

towards improvement is becoming conscious of your reality.

Take a piece of paper and describe how you are currently paying attention to your diet and

getting your exercise. Are you pleased with the result? While you are at it, describe a first step in

improving your behavior. (About 5 minutes).

3. Break into dyads, have partners share their reactions and goals with each other.

Encourage them to find a way to keep accountability. (About 5 minutes).

4. Come back to full circle. Read this script: There is always the temptation of small

indulgences. I’ve been working hard, doing so much good, I deserve that candy bar or extra order

of French fries. I’ve been so busy meeting the demands of my congregation that I have just been too

tired to go exercise. Not all indulgences are bad but they can easily get out of hand. Becoming

conscious of them is a first step to keeping a balance in your life. On your paper, list a couple of

small indulgences that you have given in to during the past month. (About 5 minutes).

4. Read Script: Don‘t set yourself up for failure by comparing what you do now with some

ideal that is impossible to achieve. Think about one small step you can take and let that be a

beginning point. First, take a piece of paper and make a quick list of the variety of ways that one

can engage in physical exercise. As individuals there are such things as walking, running,

swimming, weight lifting, etc. (About 5 minutes).

Once you have your list, look at it and see what is most attractive to you. What is a modest

way that you can begin with one form of exercise that is already attractive to you? Let the group

discuss what they wrote down. Might have to draw people out quickly (About 10 minutes).

5. I noticed some of you shared the same sorts of activities....think about ways people get

exercise in connection with other people. Some play sports together, attend exercise classes, find a

partner to walk with, run with, etc. Who in this group might enjoy partnering with you to begin a

better exercise program? Having someone else who expects you to participate helps build support

for changing your habits. Some people have found the benefit of an early morning or evening

walking program. I will give you the next 5 minutes to make plans this week to exercise with

someone else in this group. (Exactly 5 minutes).

6. Collect group back to circle. Read Script: A next, rather scary step would be to explore

the spiritual dimensions of taking care of your physical body, preaching or teaching a course on it,

and sharing with your congregation your desire to improve your body and inviting them to do the

same. There is nothing like public commitment to strengthen your resolve.

7. Closing and Reflection: So today we meet together and already have learned a lot about

each other. We evaluated our goals for this group and investigated our own physical care. These

sessions all are very similar in structure, like today we will be doing in-group exercises and also

completed out-of-group weekly homework. Each session has a different theme, today was physical

care. Next week is emotional care. Your homework for this week is to take this Symptoms of Stress

and Exhaustion Inventory. The second half, the stress card activity, is optional. Although, many

people find it very enlightening, especially done with a spouse or good friend. Before we close are

there any prayer requests? After the requests are mentioned, have the each person pray for the

person to their right. Dismiss after prayer. (About 20-25 minutes).

HOMEWORK: Symptoms of Stress and Exhaustion (See Appendix B).

(Session activities take from: McCutchan, 2010, p. 9,10)

Sessions Two Outline

ACTIVITY: Emotional Self-Care

TIME ALLOTED: 1.5 hours

SUPPLIES: Notebook of paper (Optional), pen/pencil (Optional)

GROUP SET-UP: Eight comfortable captain office chairs in the shape of a circle, each

chair facing the center of the circle to help facilitate group discussion and interactions.

OBJECTIVES:

1. To increase group cohesion

2. To increase knowledge of others in the group

3. To provide participants an opportunity to evaluate their own emotional care

DIRECTIONS:

1. Make a round, checking-in and discusses the homework. Ask them "How was it to fill

out this homework?" Make a round. Then I will ask a simple question: "Who here was surprised by

how many symptoms you checked off?" Go around the room . As caretakers and clergy leaders it is

easy to push a few of these aside on a daily basis. It is not until we are stressed out that we begin to

acknowledge our own emotional well being. Then ask " Who here felt guilty checking all of the

symptoms? Or maybe you intentionally skipped a few in order to avoid embarrassment?...Anyone?"

If they are honest, there will be some discussion here. (10-15 minutes).

2. Group Exercise: I will be reading a series of statements. After each statement, you are to

stand up and go to the center of the group circle if the statement is true for you. After each

statement, those who are standing in the center of the circle are instructed to share with the inner

circle why you have joined the inner circle. (Just share a few statements or sentences.)

Join the inner Circle if…

Feel isolated and alone in ministry life... You no longer have the same passion and zeal for ministry that you once felt... Have become preoccupied with those you are helping that you think about them while at

home... Are not finding satisfaction with one‘s ministry... Are experiencing a loss of energy.... Finding difficulty separating your own feelings and spiritual life from the problems being

dealt with.... Have increased irritability in everyday life and family... Feel like you do not have many friends outside your family and congregation...

Feel like your priestly activities are not worthwhile... Notice that you have become a lot more miserable and irritable than ever before....

After the activity ask the group these questions:

What was your experience of this exercise?

What did you learn about others?

What did you learn about yourself?

Who did you find yourself wanting to know more about? (About an hour)

3. Read Script: Ministry places you on an emotional rollercoaster. At one momentmoment,

you are preparing a sermon. Then someone interrupts you with a personal problem for which they

seek counsel. On the same day, you may face a complaint about some trivial event, prepare for the

baptism of an infant, plan for a youth retreat, and engage in an ecumenical response to some

community event. Then you open the mail and read of some member‘s complaint about something

you have done or failed to do. There are highs, lows, boredom, and continual demands. Is it any

wonder that you feel emotionally drained at the end of a week? When you engage in this week after

week, it takes its toll. Likely, the better a pastor you are, the heavier the emotional toll. Another key

thing to remember is that you all are not alone. Look around the room right now, you can see that

each of these ministers are struggling with the same things you are and that is ok!

Now, what are some practices that can provide you relief from emotional stress? It is

important to identify a variety of strategies that fit into various and consistent time slots. It may be

that you only have a few minutes and just need to learn how to breathe. Another time, in between

hospital calls, you may need to avail yourself of fifteen minutes in the hospital chapel. There are

times you need to give yourself permission to read a good book or take a walk. Sometimes knowing

that you have a regularly scheduled appointment with a spiritual guide may get you through the day.

Do a round asking everyone to name two or three things they need to do every week for their own

personal downtime...(About 15-20 minutes).

Wrap up by giving a homework assignment and ask one member to say a quick prayer-

watch out for time constraints! Before the closing prayer read the homework description below:

HOMEWORK:

Try a simple experiment this week. If you have either a watch or an electronic calendar on

phone or computer that has an alarm built in, set it for 10:30 and 3:30 every day for a month. When

the alarm goes off, enter a brief Sabbath time in which you offer thanks to God for your life and

God‘s call in your life. If you are with someone when the alarm goes off, simply zone out for a

minute for an interior prayer, or if that is impossible, make a note to do that at the first opportunity.

If you are not with someone or can excuse yourself, perhaps for a bathroom break, enter the stall

and spend 5 minutes alone with God. The objective is not measured in length of time but the

regularity of interrupting your day twice to enter a sanctuary that helps you stay in touch with that

which is important.

Sessions Three Outline

ACTIVITY: Spiritual Self-Care

TIME ALLOTED: 1.5 hours

SUPPLIES: Notebook of paper, pen/pencil, Bible

GROUP SET-UP: Eight comfortable captain office chairs in the shape of a circle, each

chair facing the center of the circle to help facilitate group discussion and interactions.

OBJECTIVES:

1. To provide opportunity for group members to make discoveries about others in the group

2. To provide clergy with an opportunity build group cohesion

3. To increase self-disclosure

4. To provide participants an opportunity to revitalize their own spiritual self care

DIRECTIONS:

1. Let's begin by going over the homework experiment. Last week we examined emotional

well-being. Everyone, including and especially, the ministers need to take emotional breaks and

relax. The experiment assignment was to schedule in two 5 to 15 minuet Sabbath periods into your

day, every day the last seven days. As we check-in, everyone give me two/three sentences on if you

did it and how it was for you..." (About 15-20 minutes.)

2. Our topic today flows right from last week's topic, spiritual well-being. Honestly, how

many of us (myself included) ever find yourself thinking..."I have to act like a clergy at all times?"

Wherever you are, at the store, church, home, with family or in town....you have a clergy/pastor

persona....Tell me a little bit about that? How is that persona working out for you? (Discuss this for

10-15 minutes).

This is what I like to call the Pedestal Syndrome. It is frustrating, as you guys pointed out,

because we tend to put on unreal expectations (as you pointed out ___). You are human too. You

are not a perfect person or pastor and that is okay. Worse (as ____ pointed out) we feel guilty for

not meeting those unhealthy expectations. And even worse, we are never really free to relax and be

ourselves, because we have to be pastor so and so (Adapted from Arumugam, 2003, p. 208).

3. Exercise: We all remember the call to ministry in our own lives, don't you? We are going

to do this potentially powerful exercise together. First, I want you to beginning thinking about your

sense of God's call in your life. What passages in the Bible describe that call? What was your

experience life when you knew that you were called? Just a regular man doing God's work... Sit

here, close your eyes and think back to when you heard the call. Which biblical figures/characters

do you relate with? (Pause.) Where were you? Put yourself in that place for a moment. (Pause.)

What Biblical passages come to mind in regards to your calling? (Pause.) Recall those Scriptures

that really encourage you, even today in your ministry. (Pause.) Now, open your eyes, grab your

notebooks and pens and write about this experience, in a stream of conscience fashion. It is

important to not censor your writing in the process. You are not trying to compose and essay on the

call. You are simply writing without stopping for 10 minutes or so. Then go back and read what you

have written and see what that evokes in you. if you need to look something up quickly in your

Bible that is fine also. Meditatively and prayfully just write, free-flowingly...Don‘t throw away

what seems irrelevant. Save it and see what God does with it later. (15-20 minutes).

4. After the writing is completed, assemble the circle again. Very briefly, each member will

summarize long journals or if it is short, read your journaling to the group. (10 minutes).

5. Process the following questions with the group:

How did it feel to share your journal with others in the group?

How has your calling affected your career as a minister?

What commonalities and differences did you discover about other group members

and their callings?

Were you surprised by some of the things you learnedDid some of the things you

learned surprise you? (20 minutes)

5. Closing -Assign the homework and encourage everyone to continue processing what they

learned and also encourage everyone to pray for each other this week. Hand out, to each member, a

copy of the description of homework options below. They can do both or either or. (5 minutes)

HOMEWORK OPTIONS:

Option 1- One practice that can strengthen your own spiritual life is the silent meal. This is

frequently practiced in monasteries. There is a freedom in not being expected to speak and interact

with others. It offers you an opportunity to draw within yourself.

This can be practiced even at a fast food restaurant. Order an inexpensive meal, choose a

table, and enter into a time of silence in the midst of the cacophony of the world around you. As you

sit down at the table, before you unwrap your meal, begin your prayer time. Begin with prayers for

all those who had some part in preparing the meal before you, taking that as far back in the food

process as possible. There was someone who has raised the animal or planted and cared for the

vegetables that you are about to eat, who prepared the paper, designed the package, etc.

After about ten minutes of prayer, begin to slowly unwrap your simple meal and

occasionally take a bite or sip of my drink as you continue your prayers. As much as possible, pray

with your eyes closed and your mind totally focused. You might pray for people or situations in

your ministry, or pray for colleagues that you know are having a difficult time. Prayer for at least

one-half hour from the time that you sit down at the table.

Option 2- Take short periods of time in the beginning. Determine to take a half-hour break

in which you will explore how Scripture can speak to you about the attributes of God. Use a

concordance to identify some adjectives that praise God. Gather up several of them and then spend

some time exploring the nature of God through these adjectives. That might come in the form of a

word study or it might be in the form of contemplation around one or two of these adjectives.

Whatever your approach,, the purpose is to focus your attention on the wonder of God.

The time limit of one-half hour might even serve the advantage of intriguing you so that you

want to set aside another half-hour at another time to continue the experience. Discipline yourself to

avoid thinking of how useful your work might be for a sermon, a class, etc. This is time to place

yourself purely in the presence of God in a loving way. However you go about it, keep some notes

on how it makes you feel. If one aspect of the Sabbath is to step outside of the normal pace of life to

nurture relationships, this is a way to begin with a short Sabbath experience of loving God.

[ Themes of the other sessions: Session Four- Family care, Session Five- Financial care,

Session Six- Vocational care, Session Seven- Social care. ]

Sessions Eight Outline

ACTIVITY: Termination

TIME ALLOTED: 1.5 hours

SUPPLIES: Paper and pencil

GROUP SET-UP: Eight comfortable captain office chairs in the shape of a circle, each

chair facing the center of the circle to help facilitate group discussion and interactions.

OBJECTIVES:

1. To provide group feedback to individuals

2. To provide resources and referrals for clergy

3. To provide individuals the share resources, prayer requests and a continued support

system

4. To provide individuals the opportunity to terminate with other group members

DIRECTIONS:

1. Begin by instructing clergy to get into dyads to discuss homework from session seven

(see Appendix D). Obviously do not allow members who meet each other to dyad together. Allow

them five minutes to ask each other, "What was the homework assignment like for you? Who did

you go to lunch/dinner with? What did you learn?" Then we will make a check-in/round, getting

feedback from everyone. Give each person 2 minutes to respond if necessary. (About 20-25

minutes).

2. Read Script: Who remembers the first session and the intake form from the interview?

Process these questions with the group:

Do you also remember what goals you set for yourself at the beginning?

How have those goals developed? Have you seen growth the last eight weeks?

Have your goals changed?

What activities were the most helpful for you?

What action steps are you going to take to continue accomplishing growth and goals? (Are you

willing to put that into a contract form?)

(50-55 minutes)

3. Read Script: As you know this is our last session in this group. We have been meeting

together for a total of eight sessions and have covered seven areas of self-care. Hopefully through

these sessions, you have learned more about yourself and found useful activities and tools for

continuing your own self-care. Unlike many other types of self-help groups, in a group like this, it is

appropriate for members to continue meeting together for continued accountability and support. I

highly encourage this group to start or join an already existing peer or colleague clergy group or

clergy support group. Some of you may really value having a facilitator or therapist, if this is the

case, you may join one of my groups at a discounted rate or get individual therapy. I want you to be

aware of the opportunities out there for you. I will gladly make referrals for anyone interested in

continuing your self-care and mental health.

Even if you do not form or join a peer group, I want to set aside some time in this session for

making connections with the other pastors and leaders in this group, if you have not already done

so. You are not alone in ministry. As you have already experienced in this group, we all struggle

with many of the same issues in our self-care habits. There is a copier in the church office here, if

you would like me to make copies of contact information. I will give you a few minutes to

exchange information and run the copier. (About 5 minutes).

4. Okay. Well it has been a pleasure working with every single one of you. I am blessed to

have had the opportunity to serve you in this role. I have this handout of self-care resources I would

like you to have and use (See Appendix E). Your homework is on your own power. If you desire a

referral come see me afterwards. I encourage you to stay in contact with these men here and to

follow through with your contracted goals. Imagine how on fire Lancaster, Ohio and the

surrounding areas for Christ, if we take care of ourselves and live the life God has for us! Does

anyone have any last prayer requests? We will do popcorn prayer. Who would like to start? I will

close it out....Pray...say goodbyes. (5-10 minutes).

HOMEWORK (Optional/on your own power): Get a referral if you desire one.

Stay in contact with other members. Follow through with your contracted goals. Take this handout

of Self-care websites and resources (See Appendix E).

Marketing and Screening

Marketing

Potential members are any local religious professionals including: clergy, reverends, pastors,

lay leaders, campus ministers, church staff, chaplains. or any other related persons. Imam, bishops,

rabbis, priests and those of cultic or extreme denominational backgrounds are welcome to apply.

They should come to the interview with the understanding that this is a Christian organization with

Protestant Christian values and orientation. For some, this will be acceptable and they will still be

interested in taking part, for others this will turn them away.

To get this group started, I will mail flyers (see Appendix A) and brochures (a very

condensed version of this proposal) to the surrounding (within 20 miles of Lancaster) churches.

Honestly, I will focus on many of the smaller, rural churches first, as many of the larger churches

have staff training and support. Then, I will follow-up with phone calls and emails. I will gather all

interested persons together for an informational meeting detailing exactly what I am planning on

doing. Those whom are still interested will then be interviewed individually by myself. If there is a

lot of interest and more than 8 good candidates after the interview process, I could start more than

one group. I may also expand the group to 12, but I am hesitant due to time constraints. It will be an

experiment. The second group could meet on a separate night. If the second groups fills up and

there is still interest, then the next group of pastors could join up after the first cycle of eight weeks

ends.

Screening

This group is intended for leaders of religious institutions. Therefore, if a person is not

working for a church, para-church or ministry setting, than this group is not for you. There are a few

exceptions (like hospital and military chaplains and possibly members of other faith groups). The

reason for this connection is important. This self-care/support group is starting on the foundation of

ministry leadership. All the members can connect and relate their own stories to the other members.

A non-leader religious would not fit in or relate to the group. And in many cases, such a person

would be either somewhat intimidated or just disinterested and bored. While a pastor who knows he

could use more self-care, feels welcome and encouraged to know that there are otherare other

colleagues also struggling with the same things.

Religious leaders who are looking for self-promotion should be excluded from the group.

Ulterior motive is tough to determine, but this group is not simply for validation, publicity of events

or a ministry, pridefully showing-off ministry results or knowledge, winning favor, gathering

resources without regards to self-care or any other hype. It is not for debating church management

technique, theology or other doctrines. It is not for discussing the difference in denominations or

religious groups. If the motive for joining the group is not a healthy one after the interview, I will

deny one's entry into the group. Question three is psycho-educational so the facilitator can explain

that the advice giving is prohibited in the group. After the interview, the potential group members

who were still interested and not excused based on the interview questions, will be given an intake

form (see appendix C). The facilitator would explain to them that this intake form is more for their

own benefit in helping them evaluate their life and come up with goals.

Interview/Screening Questions

1. Why do you want to join this group?

2. What do you want to get out of this group?

3. How do you think this group will help you with this goal?

4. How would you help others with similar concerns?

5. Have you ever been in a support group, a psychoeducational group or therapy group

before?

6. What strengths do you bring to this group?

7. How would you describe your current relationship with God?

8. How would you describe your current relationship with (your spouse?- if married)

( or best friend?- if not married)

9. Are you willing to commit to the terms outlined in the informed consent (attendance

commitment, confidentiality commitment, etc)? If yes, will you sign it? (See

Consent Form Below).

Theory

The group will operate under a modified existential theory. Existential theory grew out of a

European humanism and atheistic philosophy of existentialism in the 1800s. Aspects of this theory,

therefore, fail to recognize important spiritual aspects of existence. Although, Yalom's existential

psychotherapy can be integrated into a Christian worldview (Bartz, 2009, p. 69). The theory does

need to be slightly modified to overcome the inherent conflicts the original theory has with theism.

The main premise of existential theory, which is very useful in self-care groups, is that

people are responsible for their choices. People contour their lives by their choices. People need to

chosechoose to seek meaning in their lives or by not seeking meaning,meaning; they are choosing

despair and suffering. There is some Christian truth to this kind of statement, which will be dealt

with in the group. In this theory, all group members are starting on equal footing with others. In the

pastoral self-care group, this will also be true. All of these religious professionals will be coming in

as religious leaders who are struggling with self-care. They are all in similar situations and have all

agreed to the same group expectations and rules in the informed consent and interview (Gladding,

2012, p.354).

Existential theory first emphasizes self-awareness. To an extent, this is a portion that will be

modified. While not every member, may necessarily be Christian, the group is a Christian

organization founded on a Christian worldview, so the materials and discovery for "who we are" as

individuals will be founded on these Christian presuppositionsChristian presuppositions. While in

non-modified existential theory, these presuppositions are not already automatically intact.

Following such presuppositions is actually highly discouraged by true existentialists (Gladding,

2012, p.354). AlsoIn addition, it is a self-care group, pastors are coming into the group knowing

full well that they need to take care of some things, including themselves. The structure is warranted

by the fact that they have already recognized they need this sort of help.

After the discovery of self-awareness comes the attention of personal responsibility. In a

pastoral self-care group, as a facilitator I hope to bring a lot of awareness to each member's own

self-care and from there it is obvious that there is a lot of personal responsibility involved in self-

care: spiritually, mentally, physically and so on. Naturally, through this process, these ministers

will have to handle and manage anxieties in their lives. These very anxieties are the reason for

coming to this group in the first place. These anxieties in life are both demanding more attention

than their own self-care and in many cases exist because of their neglect to self-care. There is often

a cycle occurring. It then is up to the member to find meaning in this cycle and in these anxieties.

Fortunately, there are a lot of great materials, exercises and methods developed by and for

Christians to help members find meaning and deal with these anxieties with the Christian

worldview. This is another alteration made to the existential model (Gladding, 2012, p.355).

Being the leader of such a group is also pastoral in a way, as the leader, is not acting as

expert, but as a fellow journeyer. The leader takes risk by facilitating the uncomfortable emotions

and anxieties, in order to stretch the group members. The group leader also confronts discrepancies

they are hearing. In this model the leader does self-disclose and offers knowledge and experiences

(Gladding, 2012, 355-6). In this type of group, members digging deep in their own anxieties

become more authentic with other pastors. Other pastors feel connected and realize that they are not

alone in their struggles of anxiety, struggles with self-care and interpersonal responsibility develops.

There is a potential for an entire city of church leaders to come out healthy and connected and ready

for to be used by God even more powerfully (Gladding, 2012, 356).

This theory with a trained professional facilitator is especially helpful in a self-help or self-

care group. Interpersonal learning, which is done through processes such as feedback and

confrontation, is generally deemphasized in self-help and peer support groups. This is largely

because it can be threatening, and requires training and understanding of small group processes.

Similarly, reality testing, is also deemphasized. Reality testing relies on consensual validation,

offering feedback, seeking feedback and confrontation. These processes seldom occur in self-help

groups, though they frequently occur in professionally directed groups.

Consent

Clergy Self-Care Group Contract Alexander Dolin - M.Div, LPC - Christian Existential/ Cognitive/Behavioral

Christian Virtue and OrientationThis is a Christian organization founded on the Bible and a Christian Worldview. In this group, members are to treat other members with love and respect. There shall be no substance use, no derogatory language or cursing. Treat fellow ministers, as you want them to treat you. This group is not for promoting ministry, debating theology or advice giving. Purposes and goals of this groupThe primary goal is to help members to learn to deal with and properly manage personal and ministry stresses. A secondary goal is to allow members to share the joys and challenges of ministry and ministry issues by helping to build support networks among professionals. Absences Attendance is important to the cohesiveness of the group, so please attend each group meeting. Please notify the therapist if you need to miss a session.Confidentiality Names of group members or information pertaining to other group members are not to be mentioned outside of the group. The group will not discuss absent group members.Confidentiality DisclaimerI, the facilitator, promise to maintain confidentiality at all times. There are three reasons exist, however, when confidentiality may be breached by the facilitator: (a) My condition indicates a clear and imminent danger exists to me or others, (b) Disclosure of information is mandated by law or court ordered, or (c) Current or past child or elder abuse is suspected or apparent. Payment Procedures A new member must agree to contract for 8 sessions ($240[$30 per session] is due at the 1st group meeting). After the initial sign-up of 8 sessions, members who wish to continue on after the 8 sessions will pay at a discounted rate ($160, discounted to $20 per session). If there are 5 weeks in a month, the group will not meet on the 5th week, unless the 5th week is needed to make up a session missed due to a holiday or scheduling conflict. If there are only 3 sessions in the month due to a holiday/conflict, the fourth session will be made up (or you will be charged for only 3 sessions).SizeGroup size will not exceed 12 members (plus counselor). A group must have 4 members (plus counselor) to continue as a group in the long term.TerminationA new member wishing to terminate will announce their intention no later than the 6th session. No refunds will be given if the new member decides not to continue with the remaining sessions. After the initial 8-week period, a member is considered graduated from the program. They may desire to go through the sessions again at discounted rate and/or refer a fellow colleague to the program. Contact-out of groupI will not initiate contact with any of you outside of this group. You are welcome to initiate contact with me. I am not ignoring you, but protecting your confidentiality. The nature of this group allows for ministry connections and for members to contact each other outside of group. I encourage ministry connections, but remember to do so carefully and at your own risk. Remember we are the body of Christ. We are Christ's ambassadors. This group is to be the shepherds and leaders of the church. Treat each other's personal information with the utmost confidence. I also will encourage the group at termination to continue being a part of a self-care group therapy, clergy support, colleague/peer group or to get individual counseling. Take care of yourself and your relationship with the Father!Potential Impact of ParticipationParticipation in group has the potential to provoke uncomfortable feelings for you. Additionally, there is the risk of breach of confidentiality from members and group scapegoating. You are encouraged to approach the facilitator if you feel you are experiencing any of these things. You are also free to withdraw from group at any time. Signature___________________________________ Date_____________Group and Starting Date__________________________________________________

Outcomes

I would give them this survey to fill out at the end of the termination session, but I would

also mail this survey three months after the termination session to check their progress and evaluate

the more long term outcomes.

1. Overall, how would you rate the quality of the Clergy Self-Care program?

Excellent Above Average Average Below Average Poor

2. In the past eight weeks, have you seen improvement in your own self-care? Y or N?

Please Explain?

3. Do you feel that you are more connected and less isolated in ministry after this

group experience?

4. How would you rate the amount of progress you made on your own personal goals

during these sessions?

Excellent Above Average Average Below Average Poor

5. What suggestions or comments do you have for the facilitator?

6. How could this group improve in the future?

7. Did you feel the group was a safe place to share resources and talk about ministry

issues?

Problem-Solving

The chronic talker

The cChronic talker often talks more than he or she realizes. In some cases, this person

knows that he or /she is talking too much but does not realize the effect this is having on the group.

At first, other group members could beare actually relived to have a chronic talker in the group,

This would mean thatsince most of the attention is going towards that person and not centered on

themselves. Over time, a chronic talker is quite annoying to most of the other members, as they are

not able to get words in and are somewhat bored with the direction of the group when this

membersmember starts talking. Often times, the chronic talker has some underlying anxiety that

prompts this talkative behavior (Gladding, 2012, 96).

There are several ways to handle the chronic talker. If the leader notices the chronic talker

earlier on, then the leader can break the group into dyads and make sure he/she is with the chronic

talker and then during the dyad, the leader can address the issue with less embarrassment. Although,

by allowing the other group members to give feedback (either orally or written) directly to the

chronic talker is also effective. When the chronic talker might interrupt someone else's important

work, the leader can also cut-off the chronic talker (talker (Jacobs, Masson, & Harvill, 2012, p.

395).

The silent member

Silent members could be silent for a number of reasons. They might simply be really

passive, shy, or simple people. On the other handhand, they may be dealing with hostility. And

thenThen they may just be adapting getting comfortable with the group, not trusting other members,

still processing what they are feeling, thinkingthinking, or not feeling prepared or feeling anxious

on, top of any combination of the other possibilities mentioned. The best way to address a silent

member is to simply ask them what they are feeling. This will help draw an understanding of why

they are silent, in some cases. More simply, this will also give them time to not be silent (Galdding,

2012, p. 96)! Simply and delicatelydelicately, drawing out information is the most common way to

address a silent member (Jacobs, Masson, & Harvill, 2012, p.188). If a silent member was silently

dealing with something more deep like hostility, this is an opportunity to begin work on these issues

also. A consistently silent person typically will not get as much out of group therapy as someone

who is more active. Also, even if a silent person is getting something good out of group, this could

be shared with other members and enhance the entire experience if they had chosen to share with

the group.

The member who attacks another in the group

Conflict is a natural part of group. Inevitably, there will be some conflict in every group.

Normally, it is a healthy conflict thata healthy conflict can be resolved and used to help grow the

members of the group in the end of transition stage and moves solidly into the working stage if

there is enough trust established in the group. If the conflict happens to be too early on in the group,

then it will be a defining moment for building more trust of other members (Gladding, 2012, p.117).

Then there is more difficult conflict, a personal attack on another group member. Hopefully,

in the screening process, a leader has already talked to each member about problem areas such as

what to do with dislike for other members. Although, there is no way to completely prevent another

member from disliking or attacking another member. As with other conflict or unique situations, the

best way to address the issue is to draw it out and examine it. Focusing on the instance of attack and

the reasons for it can be some of the most beneficial discussions in the entire group process. The

victim of the attack, the attacker and the observers all can potentially come away with a experience

of growth. This has to be done carefully and should be done by getting feedback from both the

victim, then the attacker and also from other members (Jacobs, Masson, & Harvill, 2012, p.408).

The member who stops coming

Even when attendance is required, it is still a choice. Demanding attendance helps insure

that all members will participate and keep commitment to the other members. I would make every

attempt to contact the client and discuss with him/her about why he/she has stopped coming. I now

have to ask myself "why did that patient stop coming?" It could be that the patient did not value my

services. Which leads me to ask, "why?" and "could I be treating differently to be more effective?"I

would really be questioning and evaluating my own services.

Maybe my service is fine. There is an issue with this one member. Groups may not be

appropriate for every person. The counselor may determine that a group is not in the best interest of

a client. If so, then the counselor can apply all prepayment for unattended groups into an individual

session. When all efforts to revive the therapy have been exhausted, the therapists would contact

the referral coordinator to get the client so other help.

References

Arumugam, S. (2003). Evaluation of a Clergy Stress Management Intervention. University of

Zululand, , 1-230.

Austin Presbyterian Seminary (2010). Is the Treatment the Cure? A Study of the Effects of

Participation in Pastoral Leader Peer Groups. Survey Report and Analysis, , 1-62.

Barrick, A. (2011, October 15). Atheists Form Support Group for Nonbelieving Pastors. Retrieved

June 14, 2012, from http://www.christianpost.com/news/atheists-form-support-group-for-

nonbelieving-pastors-58252/

Bartz, J. (2009). Theistic Existential Psychotherapy. Psychology of Religion and Spirituality , 1(2),

69-80.

Ferguson, S. (2007). Clergy Compassion Fatigue. Family Therapy Magazine, , 16-19.

Gladding, S. (2012). Groups: A Counseling Specialty (6th ed.). Upper Saddle River, NJ: Pearson

Education Inc.

Iowa State University (2001). Self-Help Groups: Session 5-Managing Stress. Iowa State University

Extension Publication SP , , 1-11.

Jacobs, E. E., Masson, R. L., & Harvill, R. L. (2012). Group counseling: Strategies & skills. (7th

ed.). Grove, CA: Brooks/Cole.

Krejcir, R. J. (1998). Francis A. Schaeffer Institute of Church Leadership Development. Retrieved

June 13, 2012, from http://www.intothyword.org/apps/articles/default.asp?

articleid=36562&columnid=3958

McCutchan, S. (2010). Toolbox Items. : Presbytery Pastoral Care Network. retrieved June 10th,

2012 from

http://www.pastoralcarenetwork.org/uploads/2/8/7/0/2870032/expanded_toolbox_nov_2010

.pdf

Trihub, B. L., McMinn, M. R., Buhrow Jr, W. C., & Johnson, T. F. (2010). Denominational Support

for Clergy Mental Health. Journal of Psychology and Theology, 38(2), 101-110.

Appendix A: Flyer/Poster Advertisement

Appendix B -Symptoms of Stress and Exhaustion Inventory

Check the symptoms of exhaustion you have noticed lately in yourself.

Physical❑ appetite change

❑ headaches

❑ tension

❑ fatigue

❑ insomnia

❑ weight change

❑ colds

❑ muscle aches

❑ digestive upsets

❑ pounding heart

❑ accident prone

❑ teeth grinding

❑ rash

❑ restlessness

❑ foot-tapping

❑ finger-drumming

❑ increased alcohol, drug,tobacco use

Mental❑ forgetfulness

❑ dull senses❑ poor concentration

❑ low productivity❑ negative attitude

❑ confusion

❑ lethargy❑ whirling mind

❑ boredom❑ spacing out

❑ negative self-talk

Emotional❑ anxiety

❑ frustration❑ the “blues”

❑ mood swings❑ bad temper

❑ nightmares

❑ crying spells❑ irritability

❑ “no one cares”

Reproduced from Structured exercises in stress management, Volume I, by Nancy Loving Tubesing and Donald A. Tubesing, editors, Whole Person Press, P. O. Box3151, Duluth, MN 55803, 1995. Used with permission.

❑ depression

❑ nervous laugh

❑ worrying

❑ easily discouraged

❑ little joy

Relational❑ isolation

❑ intolerance❑ resentment

❑ loneliness❑ lashing out

❑ hiding

❑ clamming up❑ lowered sex drive

❑ nagging❑ distrust

❑ fewer contacts with friends

❑ lack of intimacy❑ using people

Spiritual❑ emptiness

❑ loss of meaning

❑ doubt❑ unforgiving

❑ martyrdom❑ looking for magic

❑ loss of direction❑ needing to “prove” self

❑ cynicism

❑ apathy

Stress cards Introduction

So far you’ve checked all the difficult things that have happened to you and the symptoms

you’ve experienced. If that’s all there were to say about stress it would be pretty depressing. But the

good news is that there are many ways to deal with stress. Talking about how to help ourselves can

give us a way out.

The stress cards that you are receiving contain positive things you can do to feel better,

and ways that your stress can get even worse.

• Each person should cut out the cards and sort them into two rows.

• In the top row put all the cards that make stress worse and in the bottom row put the

cards that help out.

• Place the helping ideas that you already use into one pile.

• Then pick one card that has something you’d like to learn how to use.

Self-help groups Session 5 leader guide and discussion materials—page 7

“Not knowing is worse than knowing.”Uncertainty

“Accentuate the positive.”Personal and family strengths

“Burning the candle at both ends.”Burn-out

“Whose fault is it, anyway?”Blaming“When the solution becomes a problem.”Negative coping“After all that has gone wrong, one more thing might break the camel’s back.”

Stress pile-up“The trick is to know when to accept the situation the way it is and when to change it.”

Acceptance

“What you see is what you get.”Definition of the situation

“I get by with a little help from my friends.”An expression of social-emotional support

“Loosen up and let go.”Tension reduction

“Nature’s way of managing stress.”Fitness and diet

“If I don’t think about it, maybe it will go away.”Denial

Definitions -

Burn-outIf you’re a leader or an in-charge person in your family or workplace—watch out for “burn- out.” Not everything that goes wrong is your problem. It may be that you have to let some things or people go at the moment. Taking care of yourself helps you to take care of others.

Personal and family strengthsA family that works as a team is better able to solve problems. A family that is flexible about who does what can manage stress better. Men can help with child care and housework; women can help with earning money outside the home. Such teamwork and flexibility will help your family make it in spite of stress and trouble.

UncertaintyWe can cope with almost anything as long as we have the facts. This is true for losses in your work life as well as personal life. Get as many facts as you can about what happened to you, then face those facts head-on.

Stress pile-upWhen you have a string of problems over time, watch out. Take care of yourself. Get support. With stress pile-up, you will be more vulnerable to crisis. When there’s heavy traffic on a bridge, you need to increase the supports underneath. Talk with your family and friends about the pile-up and how you feel; reach out in the community, get information.

Negative copingCoping with stresses and strains of life may lead toward behaviors or situations that make life even more stressful. Taking one drink may help you relax at the end of the day, but taking several drinks may only make the problem worse and get you into more trouble. Make sure that the coping you do is constructive and actually helps your situation. Learn ways of constructive coping.

BlamingBlaming yourself or other people is not a constructive way to deal with a problem. A problem may be more stressful if you think it’s your fault. Forgive yourself and move on. We’re all human and can make mistakes. Get what help you need so you don’t make the same mistake twice. If the problem is caused elsewhere, decide what you can do about it and what you can’t. Face facts.

An expression of social- emotional supportHaving the support of other people at any time, but particularly in difficult times, is very important. It is the single most effective way of dealing with the stresses and strains of everyday life. Take the time to learn how to reach out—to family members, friends, neighbors, or clergy.

Definition of the situation How you see the situation is important in affecting how much stress you feel. A loss for one person may be “dreadful,” for another it is seen only as a minor bother. Many things influence a person’s perceptions of a situation. Try tolook at your perceptions and determine why some situations are stressful for you.

AcceptanceKnowing when to act and when to accept a situation is a key factor in stress management. Sometimes something happens that is unfortunate, but nothing can be done to change it. Even when you get the facts, there is no hope. Continuing to push for a solution will only add to your stress; but acceptance of the situation will lower the stress. In other situations, there is something you can do about the problem. If so, get to work.

DenialAvoiding a situation, or the fact that it exists, is a way to delay moving through a difficult time. Not thinking about unpleasant things will not make them go away. Get more information and face the facts so that you can decide what to do.

Fitness and dietPhysical fitness and good nutrition help our bodies withstand the stresses and strains of life. It’s important to maintain both, especially during difficult times. Take some time to learn and think about fitness and nutrition in your life.

Tension reductionThe biggest favor you can do for yourself is to recognize signs of tension in yourself—e.g., backaches, stiff neck or shoulders, insomnia, irritability, shortness of breath, or increase in smoking or alcohol use. Be willing to face the signs and learn how to deal with them.

Appendix C-Intake Form

Personal Review: Individual IssuesInappropriate Motivations

Why did you get into the ministry?

1. Who influenced you to get into the ministry?

2. What attracted you to the work of a minister?

3. What did you hope to achieve by becoming a minister?

4. What was your vision of ministry life when you started off?

I Ministry Calling

How do you understand your calling?

1. How did you experience your call to ministry?

2. Do you believe the call of ministry is higher than other callings?Why?

3. Does your belief of ministry calling exclude others from the work of the ministry?

4. Do you believe there is a distinct difference in calling between the priesthood and laity?

•

218

I Unrealistic ExpectationsWho do you believe you should be?

1. What expectations do others have of you as a minister?

2. \What expectations do you set for yourself in your ministry role?

3. How do your family/close friends experience the expectations you have of them?

4. What is your attitude to success and failure in the ministry?

Personality

How does your style affect your ministry?

1. What is your basic personality style and how does it influence your ministry role?

2. Describe your strengths and weaknesses and how they impact your ministry effectiveness?

3. Describe your sense of security In your role as minister and how you deal with potential threats to your identity and role?

4. Identify the types of people who tend to "stress" yon in your ministry relationships and describe how you deal with them?

219

I Psychosomatic Illness

What is your body's response to stress?

1. Identify psychosomatic symptoms that you have experienced and attempt to describe their causes?

2. To what extent do you feel comfortable accepting stress and getting medical help in this regard?

3. Describe the physical and mental fitness activities you conduct on a regular basis?

I Interpersonal Conflicts

o Hart (1984) observes that as a built in source of administration, other people are a major cause of burnout, and yet people is what ministry is all about.

How do you handle difficult people issues?

I. What is your belief about expressing conflict in your role as a minister?

2. Describe your style of conflict handling?

3. How do you deal with conflict issues between yourself and members of your congregation?

4. What is your biblical understanding of conflict in the life of a believer?

•

220

I Demographic Variables

How do I deal with where I am in my life?

a) Which variables have the greatest impact on your life at this time in your ministry?

b) How are you currently dealing with these issues?

c) How can you move forward in managing these issues?

221

Running head: CLERGY SELF-CARE AND SUPPORT GROUP 36

Personal Review: Organizational IssuesRole Conflict

1. Identify conflicting role demands in your ministry environment?

2. How are you dealing with these demands?

3. Do you feel you can influence the situation?

4. How do you move forward in this area?

I Role Ambiguity

1. Which areas of ambiguity do you experience in your ministry?

2. How are you dealing with these uncertainties?

3. Do you feel you can influence the situation?

4. How do you move forward in this area?

Work Overload

I. To what extent and in which areas in which you feel overloaded?

2. How are you dealing with these overload demands?

3. Do you feel you can influence the situation?

4. How do you move forward in this area?

Responsibility for People

1. What issues cause you to feel responsible for people?

2. How are you dealing with these demands?

3. Do you feel you can influence the situation?

4. How do you move forward in this area?

CLERGY SELF-CARE AND SUPPORT GROUP 37

223

Caree r Development 1. How satisfied are you with your ministry success and future?

2. How are you dealing with these career issues?

3. Do you feel you can influence the situation?

4. How do you move forward in this area?

(Adopted from Arumugam, 2003, p. 218)

CLERGY SELF-CARE AND SUPPORT GROUP 38

CLERGY SELF-CARE AND SUPPORT GROUP 39

Appendix D- Homework from Session 7-

Pick out a clergy, maybe in your neighborhood, not necessarily in your denomination,

and invite him or her out to lunch. It sounds so simple, doesn‘t it? Yet how often do we get so

caught up in the demands of the ministry that we neglect to ―love our neighbor, who happens

to be another clergy person. If you deliberately choose someone you don‘t know very well and

issue the invitation, you will discover both personal pleasure and a deep appreciation from the

one you invite. You will benefit from choosing some diversity in your lunch choice. If you work

in a community with a rabbi or imam, you might consider that as a possibility. You might also

consider someone who appears to be different theologically or from some other perspective. It

may also be someone in this group.

You are building a relationship that may well be beneficial in future ministry. The future

of most moderate to small churches is going to be in building coalitions with other similar

churches for common ministry in the community. That happens best when you have built a

relationship before the specific ministry is planned.

CLERGY SELF-CARE AND SUPPORT GROUP 40

Appendix E- Self-Care Resources

Clergy Peer Support Group (free)- Fairfield Christian Church Tuesdays 7-8:30 PM (this

is hypothetical, has not started yet but I imagine it starting out after my first group terminates).

My Groups:

Alex Dolin (me), LPC. Individual and group therapy. AlexDolinLPC.com 740-590-3598.

Clergy Self-Care and Support Group. Cross Pointe Church. Tuesdays 7-8:30PM, or

Thursday 6-7:30PM (you get a discounted rate for repeating.)

Websites:

(Many of our activities and more! ) McCutchan, S. (2010). Toolbox Items. : Presbytery Pastoral

Care Network. Retrieved from:

http://www.pastoralcarenetwork.org/uploads/2/8/7/0/2870032/expanded_toolbox_nov_2010.pdf

Help for hurting pastors - http://www.findthedivine.com/articles11.html

Resources for wounded pastors -

http://christians-in-recovery.org/Issues_PastorsPros_HowCIRCanHelp

Clergy Recovery Network- http://www.clergyrecovery.com/?page_id=130

Tips:

- Go back to your intake form, homework assignments and see your contracted goals

from termination session. Realize the growth you made and continue taking steps forward.

- Stay in contact with your group members for accountability and growth.

-Join one of the clergy support groups or continue therapy with me or one or my groups.

CLERGY SELF-CARE AND SUPPORT GROUP 41

Group Proposal

Grading Rubric

Item Points

Possible

Points Given/Comments

Introduction

Describes group Lists needs and reasons Offers local/agency stats and/or cites research

30 30

Sessions Outline

Lists specific goal(s) for each session Specific actions under each goal Supplies Room setup and rationale

40 40

Marketing & Screening

Describe intended audience Describes screening questions/procedures Describes de-selection criteria Developed flyer with information

25 20

Theory

Identifies theory of counseling to be used Explains rational Describes how theory informs goals

40 40

Consent

Develops informed consent acceptable to state boards

30 30

Outcomes

Develops survey that measures identified goals

30 28

Problem Solving

Correctly addresses each problem situation

40 40

References

Supports all assertions with references References from professional sources only References < 10 yrs

5 2 (You needed a separate

page labled “References”

done in APA format.

CLERGY SELF-CARE AND SUPPORT GROUP 42

APA/Writing

APA format to include running head, subheadings, page #, font

Writing cogent and succinct Writing free of grammatical errors

10 4 Proofread papers and

study APA format.

Total 250 234