7 Habits for Highly Effective People in Life (2)

7/30/2019 7 Habits for Highly Effective People in Life (2)

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7 Habits of Highly Effective

People in Life


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HABIT I

Be Proactive: Individuals are

responsible for their own choicesand have the freedom to choose

Most People are REACTIVE and NOTPROACTIVE


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REACTIVE (-)

Reactive people respond to stimuli

without thinking or controlling their

reactions. They react based on their

feelings or other circumstances of the

moment. There is no space between

the stimulus and their response


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PROACTIVE (+)

Proactive people stop long enough to

allow themselves the freedom to

choose a response that agrees with

their personal values and goals.


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Comparison

Reactive

1. Get angry and say

things you regret

2. Blame others

Proactive

1. Remain calm and

think of alternatives

2. Focus on solutions to

the situation insteadof problems


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Comparison

Reactive

1. Whine and Complain

2. Feel like victims

Proactive

1. Celebrate choices

2. Take responsibility

for creating the best

environment for you


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Language

Reactive

1. If only he would

2. He makes me soangry

3. Why dont you

change?4. Theres nothing I can

do

Proactive

1. I helped cause this by

2. Ill find a solutionthat works

3. Im responsible

4. Lets look at all the

options


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Gaining Control Define your Circle of Influence and

your Circle of Concern (2 DifferentCircles)

Proactive people work within their circle of

Influence to affect things around them.

Reactive people focus on things they cant

control- things in their Circle of Concern-

which gives them less influence on thethings that are important to them.


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Concern vs Influence

CONCERN

1. A friend is getting

well.2. Increasing Healthcare

Costs

3. Your Personal

Healthcare

INFLUENCE

1. Successfully

completing yourproject

2. Committing to

understanding and

educating yourself on

insurance options

3. Choosing an apple

instead of a brownie


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Thought

Its not what people do to us that

hurts us. It is our response to whatthey do to us that hurts us


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Explore Concern

In groups of five or six, make a list of

20 items you are concerned about in

your life. Discuss these items among

your group. The concerns can be any

topic. You have 10 minutes


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Explore Your Influence

Now look back at your list of Concerns

and decide what influence you have

over the items on the list and how you

can control your actions , reactions, or

realize if it is not in your circle of

influence.. Circle just the ones you

actually can control


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Key Points to Ponder

You may not be able to choose everything

that happens to you, but you can choose

your attitude and reaction

What are your strengths?

What do you need to improve on?

How can you apply what you have learned?

Why do I want to change?


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HABIT 2

Begin with the End in Mind : Mental

creation precedes physical creation

I can choose my own future and

create a vision of it

I create results mentally beforebeginning any activity


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Habit 2 Begin w the End in Mind

Create and apply personal and

organizational mission statements as

constitutions for daily living

Envision the desired results and

important values to guide activities andbehaviors


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Habit 2

The best way to predict your future isto create it

The best way to determine your end

purpose and move in that direction isto look for answers to these questions:

What am I all about?

What makes life worth living?

What will I do with my Life?


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Habit 2

Control your own

destiny or someoneelse will


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H2 : Why is it so important to

have a Plan? The answer is simple- all things are

created twice. First, is the mental

blueprint or plan. Second, is the actual

physical creation or work. A carefully

considered plan gives you the mental

blueprint needed to create the desired

outcome.


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Mental vs Physical Mental Creation (Plan)

1. Script of a play

2. Verbal and WrittenDirections for a

Procedure

3. Knowing there is atest on Friday

Physical Creation

(Work)

1. Performance of the

Play

2. Performance of theProcedure

3. Studying for the test


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Many people gain a sense of whothey are from the opinions and

perceptions of the people around

them. They allow circumstances ,

conditioning, and the social mirror

to mold and form who they are andwhat they achieve.


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The most effective people,however, shape their own futures.

Instead of letting other people or

circumstances determine their

destinies, they mentally plan and

then physically create their ownpositive results. What they have in

their mind shapes their future.


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Script Your Future

List those things that are most important inyour life

If you were to do one thing at school what

would have the most positive impact, whatwould it be?

If you were to do one thing in your personal

life that would have the most positiveimpact, what would it be?

Who are the people who have influenced

your life the most?


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Project Your Life Forward

To help you think about what kind ofperson you would like to be, imagine

youve lived a fulfilling and rewarding

life and now it is your 90th birthday.Family, Friends, Co-Workers, and

Neighbors have gathered in your honor

to pay tribute to you.

What do you think they would say??

Lets see on the next two slides


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Tributes

Write a tribute you would like to receive

from each person on the next slide

answering the questions below:

1. What would each person say?

2. What difference have I made in each

persons life?

3. What qualities or characteristics will I be

remembered for?

4. What outstanding contribution would

each person mention?


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Tributes Using the 4 questions from the

previous slide, answer them according

to what you would like the following

people in your life to say:

Spouse

Son

Daughter Co-Worker

Best Friend


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Forming a Mission Statement

What are my greatest moments of happiness

and fulfillment?

What are the activities of most worth to me

in my personal life?

What are my natural gifts, talents, strengths,

and abilities?

What am I motivated by, fascinated with,

and passionate about?

How can I best contribute to mankind?


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Mission Statement

A mission statement is a powerfuldocument that expresses your personal

sense of purpose and meaning in life. It

acts as a governing constitution by which

you evaluate your decisions and choose

your behavior.

To create your mission statement, think

about the people you admire, how youd

like to be in a years time, and what kinds of

things in your life you value most.


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Examples

Our Family is great- as a family we want to

love, laugh, teach, and learn. The Hubbert

family is a TEAM.

I want to be the kind of person my dog

thinks I am.

My mission is to live with integrity and to

make a difference in the lives of others.

I want my life to be about.. I am ..

I will..


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Habit Review

HABIT I: Be Proactive

Goals

HABIT II: Start with the End in Mind

Mission Statement and Questions for

Others


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Habit 3: Put First Things First

Effectiveness requires balancing important

relationships, roles, and activities

Things which matter most must never be

at the mercy of things which matter least I focus on importance instead of urgency

I fulfill my mission by achieving

important goals in my key roles


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H 3: Put First Things First

Focus on the truly important and sayno to the unimportant

Plan weekly and implement daily

based on mission, roles, goals, andpriorities

The key is not to prioritize your

schedule, but to schedule your

priorities


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H3: Put First Things First

Habit 3 helps you identify and act on thepriorities in your life, including your

relationships and the things that are most

important to you Which activities support what matters most

to you?

How do I stay focused on what mattersmost?


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Time management is really a

misnomerthe challenge is not to

manage time, but to manage

ourselves


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Urgent vs Not Urgent

List 20 things that have come up or

you had to do since you woke up this

morning that you have had to deal

with.

Then identify them as Urgent or Not

Urgent. Can you tell the difference ??


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The main thing is to keep

the main thing the main

thing

What lies behind us and

what lies ahead of us are but

tiny matters compared towhat lies within us.


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How do You Stay Focused?

Planning how you will spend your time

helps you put first things first. If you

plan with sincere effort, you will

benefit from more inner peace, greater

balance, and increased personal and

professional productivity

A tool such as your agenda remindsyou to schedule your time around

what is most important to you


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To Do Lists

Schedule and write To Do Lists inyour agenda. Make sure you keep

first things first. Check off as you

go and whatever you may miss, itbecomes the first thing first the

next day. Start using what works for you

now


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Review

Habit I: Be PROACTIVE

Habit II: Begin With the End InMind

Habit III: Put First Things First


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Habit 4: Think Win-Win Effective, long-term relationships require

mutual benefit

I seek the benefit of others as well as my

own

I get better results in my relationships by

cooperating interdependently than by

competing independently

What do we live for, if it is not to make

life less difficult for others?


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Habit 4 W/W Balance courage and consideration in seeking

mutual benefit

Persist in looking for Win-Win outcomes

despite past Win-Lose conditioning

The Public Victory begins when you cooperate

so that everyone wins. Habit 4 encourages

cooperation by seeking mutual benefit-solutionsthat benefit everyone involved.


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Questions for Habit 4

How do I balance my needs against

someone elses needs?

What choices help me create Win-Winsituations?

With a Win-Win solution, all parties feel

good about the decision and feel committedto the action plan. Win-Win sees life as a

cooperative, not a competitive arena.


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Balance

Win-Lose(I Win, You Lose) = Thinking

Win-lose is thinking competitively. A win

means putting others down. Many people

go into situations thinking , if I win, you

lose.

Lose-Win (A Doormat) = Thinking Lose-

Win is allowing others to win even when it

means you lose. You say, I lose; you win.Go ahead, walk all over me. Step on me

again, everyone else does. I probably

deserve it.


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Balance

Lose-Lose (The Downward Spiral) = Lose-

Lose thinking is believing that if you go

down, others must go down with you

(revenge, self-justification, etc)

Win-Win (Everyone Wins) = Thinking

Win-Win is when your frame of mind and

heart seeks the benefit of all. It is an

attitude that says, I can win and so canyou. Its not me or you; its all of us WE.


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Balance

No Deal ( Agree to Disagree) = No Deal is

an outcome where the people involved

agree to disagree. They decide to move onwithout agreement. In some cases, they try

Win-Win another time.


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What is Your Mentality?

Abundance Mentality: People with an Abundance

Mentality generally think theres a way for everyone

to win. A losing perspective is based on scarcity. It

takes courage to believe theres enough for

everyone.

Scarcity Mentality: Believing that there is not

enough to go around. Less means less for me.

Abundance Mentality: Believing that there is more

than enough for everyone. More creates more.


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Examples of More Creates More

Smiling

Providing courtesy and services

Recognizing and rewarding others Treating patients and others with kindness

and respect

Listening sincerely to co-workers Proactively suggesting improvements to

policies and procedures

Wh Ch i H l C Wi


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What Choices Help Create Win

Win? Competition is healthy when it results in a greater

good. However, in most cases in your personal lives

and at work, choosing to compete lessens your

motivation to cooperate to achieve solutions thateach person can agree on fully.

You must be courageous and considerate- you must

be willing to speak up for yourself and be willing tolisten to other points of view.

How Does Win-Win correlate with your Circle of

Influence?


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EBA (Emotional Bank Account)

Is a concept that encourages you to think

about and evaluate the amount of trust that

exists in your personal and work

relationships. Every interaction with

another person may be a deposit or awithdrawal from your EBA or the EBAs of

others. When you have a Win-Win attitude,

you are making deposits in the EBAs ofothers and increasing TRUST in your

relationship


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Deposit vs Withdrawal

Deposit::

1 Listening w/o

interrupting

2 Being kind and

courteous

3 Keeping Promises

4 Apologizing

Withdrawals:

1 Interrupting a

conversation

2 Being Rude and

Discourteous

3 Lying

4 Showing

Disrespect


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Deposits: Deposits build and

repair trust in relationships.

Withdrawals: Withdrawalsreduce and damage trust in the

relationships.


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What are you doing to make

deposits into your emotional bank

account and in the account of

others?????

What are you doing that makes youfeel like you are overdrawn?????

S


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Summary

Habit I: BE PROACTIVE Habit II: BEGIN WITH THE END IN

MIND

Habit III: PUT FIRST THINGS FIRST

Habit IV: THINK WIN-WIN

Next will be to Habit V: Seek First to

Understand, Then be Understood!!!


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Habit 5 Seek First to Understand

Diagnosis must precede prescription.

Understanding comes through listening.

I assume I dont fully understand, and I

need to listen.

If I listen first to understand, then I will be

better understood.

Before I walk in another persons shoes, I

must first remove my own.

H bi 5


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Habit 5

By developing an attitude for seeking

to understand others first before trying

to express your views, you become a

person whom others trust. When

people believe you care about their

needs, they are more willing to care

about yours, opening the way for Win-

Win.(H4)


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Review How You Communicate

Becoming a more effective, empathic

listener requires developing both the

desire and skill to do so. To listeneffectively, you must live by key

principles of communication. One of

these key principles is to understand

the way meaning is conveyed from

speaker to listener.


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Communication experts estimate thatonly 7 percent of your communication

is represented by words you say,

another 38 percent by your sounds andhow you say words, and 55 percent by

your nonverbals and body language.

The one who listens does the mostwork, not the one who speaks.

C i ti B i


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Communication Barriers

It is hard to listen IF:

Youre worried about problems

You Listen faster than people speak

Youre sometimes tired or bored Youre thinking about what youre going to

say back to the other person

Youre distracted

What are your barriers????


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People do not care how

much you know until theyknow how much you care.


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Empathic Listening

Empathy means seeing things the

way another person sees them.

Empathic listening is listening to

completely understand the other

persons viewpoint

L l f Li t i


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Levels of Listening

Ignoring: Putting Forth No Effort

Pretend Listening: Appearing to Listen

Selective Listening: Hearing only what

interests you Attentive Listening: Paying more

attention. Being focused. Being Polite

Empathic Listening: Listening with youreyes, heart, and mind to hear the entire

message


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Review Empathic Listening

You are not sure you understand

You are not sure the other person feels

understood

The interaction has a strong emotional

component There is low trust in the relationship

Respond to Acknowledge


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p w gUnderstanding

When you practice empathy, you do not judgeor offer solutions prematurely. You seek to

clarify for what you heard. Use phrases from

the list below to acknowledge that youunderstand:

As I get it, you felt that

You must have felt You place high value on.

You seem frustrated about..

How would the following rate


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gyou as a listener? (1-5)

Your Best Friend 1 2 3 4 5 Your Teacher

A Co-Worker

Your Mom Your Dad

Your Brother/Sister

How do your scores affect your Emotional Bankaccount balances with these people? Are you

making enough DEPOSITS?


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Barriers to Success

Over the Long weekend, I want you to

list all the past events and any guilt that

you are currently faced with and be

thorough. No one will see these but

you. Bring it in with you on Tuesday.

You will then burn it and forget it and

never let it hold you back again..


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Habit Review

Habit I: BE PROACTIVE

Habit II: Begin With the End In Mind


Habit IV: Think Win-Win

Habit V: Seek First To Understand, Then

Be Understood

Habit VI: SYNERGIZE


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Habit 6: SYNERGIZE

The Whole is Greater than the Sum of

Its Parts

I value the differences in others and

seek the Third Alternative

Working together cooperatively takestime but produces better long-term

results


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Habit 6

Apply Win-Win thinking and

Empathic Communication to seek

synergistic outcomes, including theThird Alternative

Use Synergy ground rules to discover

the Third Avenue


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Purpose of Habit 6

Every day you must interrelate and

work with others- at home and on the

job. Habit 6 will help you realize thebenefits of working with others using

creative cooperation, even when

people act differently or believedifferent things.

What Does Synergy Mean


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What Does Synergy Mean

Synergy is when two or more people

produce more together than the sum of

what they could produce separately.

They use their differences to produce

something that neither one could have

produced alone.

Synergy means building teamwork andtrust by recognizing the contributions

of others and cooperating creatively.

Synergy IS vs Synergy IS NOT


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Synergy IS vs Synergy IS NOT

Celebrating

Differences

Working

Interdependently

Being Open-Minded

Finding New and

Better Ways

Tolerating Differences

Working

Independently

Thinking Youre

Always Right

Compromising

Synergy Map


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Synergy Map

Define the Problem or Opportunity

Their Way- seek first to understand the

ideas of others

My Wayseek to be understood bysharing your ideas

Brainstormcreate new options and

ideas High Wayfind the best solution

Advantages of Valuing


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Advantages of Valuing

Differences People who value and celebrate differences in

others are people who:

Act as role models

Do not prejudge others based on characteristics orbelief systems

Discuss conflicts privately with the others involved

Desire success for othersShow respect through words and actions

Recognize other viewpoints, even if they conflict

with their own

TRUST SurveyR 1 5 ( P A O di )


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Rate 1-5 ( Poor Average Outstanding ) I do what I say Ill do

I listen to people

I can be trusted with confidential info

I give credit where credit is due

I solve problems instead of wasting time blaming

others

I give honest feedback

I share decision making w the people most important to

me I share my opinions while respecting others opinions

I share information w the appropriate people

I respect other peoples ideas

Totals


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Totals 0-29 You may have a problem trusting others.

Because of that, you may appear lesstrustworthy. Look at those items where you

scored yourself 3 or lower. What could you do

to increase those scores? How can you

demonstrate you are more trust-worthy and will

keep your word?

30-44 You have a high level of trust, but should

keep challenging yourself to increase yourscore. Where could you improve?

45-50 You are the model of trustworthiness


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Habit 7 Sharpen the Saw

Production (results) requires

development of production capability

(resources)

I increase my effectiveness through

personal renewal in each of the four

dimensions of my life

I continually improve


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Key Process

Constantly develop and renew personal

resources to create better production

and production capability

Set and achieve goals for renewal in

the physical, mental, spiritual, and

social/emotional dimensions


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By taking time out to enhance yourphysical, mental, social/emotional,

and spiritual well-being, you

become more effective in all other

habits

To keep the lamp burning, wehave to keep putting oil in it

Understand This


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Understand This

YOU are YOUR most important resource. To

take care of yourself, you need to consciouslyplan time for renewal. Effectively planning

your production and your production

capability. This is known as the P/PC Balance

Production Production Capability

Golden Eggs The Goose


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Highly effective people balance their

production capability (themselves,

their work, their skills, and their co-

workers) and their resulting production

( being responsible for their work,

earning the respect of co-workers and

patients, and becoming indispensable

to the department).

Defining the Saw


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Defining the Saw

Everybody needs and wants to feel energetic

and peaceful. When you take time for the rest,relaxation, and renewal you need, you are

sharpening your saw. Renewal allows you to

take on the challenges of daily living and tomaintain your production capability.

Your saw consists of your body, mind, spirit,

and relationships with others. It is vital tosharpen the saw completely by focusing on all

four aspects of renewal.

PHYSICAL: You build physical wellness through

i i i d


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proper nutrition, exercise, rest, and stress

management.

MENTAL: You increase mental capacity byreading, writing, thinking, and discussing your

ideas.

SPIRITUAL: You develop spirituality by readinginspirational literature, meditating, performing

service, and spending time in nature

SOCIAL/EMOTIONAL: You mature socially andemotionally by making consistent daily deposits

into the EBA of your key relationships and

yourself.

Wh C D Sh h


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What Can you Do to Sharpen the

Saw? Physical- To Live (5 Things)

MentalTo Learn (5 Things)

SpiritualTo Leave a Legacy (5

Things)

Social/EmotionalTo Love (5

Things)

Review


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Review

Habit I: BE PROACTIVE

Habit II: Begin With the End In Mind


Habit IV: Think Win-Win

Habit V: Seek First To Understand, Then

Be Understood

Habit VI: SYNERGIZE

Habit VII: Sharpen the Saw

Documents

7 Habits for Highly Effective People in Life (2)