6.… · Web view2009. 11. 10. · Section 6. Communications. Communicating Communication. Communication Effectiveness: Active Listening and Sending Feeling Messages. Feedback

Section 6

Communications

Communicating Communication

Communication Effectiveness: Active Listening and Sending Feeling Messages

Feedback

The Four-Communication-Styles Approach

Pour Listening Habits: Identifying and Improving Them

Active Listening: A Communication-Skills Practice

Johari Window Relationship Survey

The Johari Window: A Model for soliciting and Giving Feedback

Analyzing and Increasing Open Behavior: The Johari Window


Effectiveness of management personnel of all grades is very dependent upon the ability to communicate orally not only the policy of the company but suggestions as to how work should be done, criticism of poor work, the application of discipline and of course the general field of human relationships. (Lull, 1955, p. 17)

It seems safe to conclude from research studies that by and large, the better supervisors (better in terms of getting the work done) are those who are more sensitive to their communication responsibilities. They tend to be those, for example, who give clear instructions, who listen empathetically, who are accessible for questions or suggestions and who keep their subordinates properly informed. (Redding and Sanborn, 1964, p. 60)

Research leads to the conclusion that there is a positive correlation between effective communication and each of the following factors: employee productivity, personal satisfaction, rewarding relationships and effective problem solving. Two major components of effective communication are sending and receiving messages. Techniques of listening and verbalizing help in both these dimensions.

Factors Affecting the Sender

Self-feelings

In the context of each communicating situation, the sender’s feelings about self will affect how the message is encoded. The following questions are conscious and subconscious tradewinds that affect the impact of the message: “Do I feel worthwhile in this situation?”; “Am I safe in offering suggestions?”; “Is this the right time (place)?”; “Am I the subordinate or the boss in this situation?” Or in everyday jargon, “Am I OK?”; “Do I count?” Usually, the more comfortable or positive the self-concept, the more effective the sender is in communicating.

Belief in Assertive Rights

Linked to self-concept is the belief that one has some rights, such as the right to change one’s mind, the right to say, “I do not understand” or “I do not know”, the right to follow a “gut feeling” without justifying reasons for it, the right to make mistakes and be responsible for them, and the right to say, “I am not sure now, but let me work on it.” Believing in such rights can help strengthen the sender’s self-concept and avoid the defensive maneuvering that hinders communication in exchanging information. It would be wise to remember that assertive rights are not complete without responsibility. For example, one has the right to say, “I do not know,” but one probably also has the responsibility to find out.

The Sender’s Perception of the Message

Do I feel the information I have is valuable? Is it something I want to say or do not want to say? How do I feel it will be received? Is the topic interesting or not interesting to me? Do I understand the information correctly, at least well enough to describe it to others and do I know the best way to say it?

The Senders’ Feelings About the Receiver

The probability of effective communication is increased if the sender feels positive or respectful toward the receiver. Positive or respectful feelings usually carry a built-in commitment and/or desire to share communication. Negative or nonrespectful feelings require conscious effort to communicate effectively. For the sender, it is important to know it is all right not to like everyone, or, for the optimist, to like some persons less than others. It is also important to know that we live in a world in which not everyone is going to like or respect us and that is OK, too.

Section 6 1


Suggestions for Effective Expression

In order to communicate messages effectively, the sender should consider the following points:

1. Become aware of thoughts and feelings. Do not be quick to brand them “good,” “bad,” “wrong,” or “right”. Accept them as a reflection of the present “you,” and let them give support and feedback to your effectiveness and to your needs; consider what they are whispering or shouting to you. By increasing your awareness of your feelings, you can better decide what to do with them.

2. Feel comfortable in expressing your feelings. Such expression, when it is congruent with the situation and appropriate, can enhance communication.

3. Be aware of the listener. Try to verbalize your message in terms the listener can understand and indicate why you feel the message is important to him or her. Does it have a specific significance for the listener or is it just “general information?”

4. Focus on the importance of the message and repeat key concepts and essential aspects of the information.

5. Use as few words as possible to state the message.

Points for the Listener

Effective listening is as important to communication as effective sending. Effective listening is an active process in which the listener interacts with the speaker. It requires mental and verbal paraphrasing and attention to nonverbal cues like tones, gestures and facial expressions. It is a process of listening not to every word but to main thoughts and references.

Nichols (1952) listed the following as deterrents to effective listening: 1) assuming in advance that the subject is uninteresting and unimportant. 2) mentally criticizing the speaker’s delivery, 3) getting over stimulated when questioning or opposing an idea, 4) listening only for facts, wanting to skip the details, 5) outlining everything, 6) pretending to be attentive, 7) permitting the speaker to be inaudible or incomplete, 8) avoiding technical messages, 9) overacting to certain words and phrases and 10) withdrawing attention, daydreaming.

The feelings and attitudes of the listener can affect what he or she perceives. How the listener feels about herself or himself, how the message being received is perceived and how the listener feels about the person sending the message affects how well the receiver listens. The listener should keep in mind the following suggestions.

1. Be fully accessible to the sender. Being preoccupied, letting your mind wander and trying to do more than one thing at a time lessen your chances to hear and understand efficiently. In the words of Woody Allen, “It is hard to hum a tune and contemplate one’s own death at the same time.” Interrupting a conversation to answer the phone may enhance your perceived ego, but the interrupted speaker feels a secondary importance.

2. Be aware of your feelings as a listener. Emotions such as anger, dislike, defensiveness and prejudice are natural, but they cause us not to hear what is being said and sometimes hear things that are not being said.

Section 6 2


According to Reik (1972), listening with the “third ear” requires the listener to do the following things: 1) suspend judgment for a while, 2) develop purpose and commitment to listening, 3) avoid distraction, 4) wait before responding, 5) develop paraphrasing in his or her own words and context, particularly to review the central themes of the messages, 6) continually reflect mentally on what is being said and 7) be ready to respond when the speaker is ready for comments.

Responses That Can Block Effective Communication

Evaluation response-The phrases "You should ... ; "Your duty ... ; "You are wrong," "You should know better, You are bad," You are such a good person" create blocks to communication. There is a time for evaluation, but if it is given too soon, the speaker usually becomes defensive.

Advice-giving response-'Why don't you try...:' 'You'll feel better when .... 'It would be best for you to ... "My advice is ... " are phrases that give advice. Advice is best given at the conclusion of conversations and generally only when one is asked.

Topping response, or my sore thumb-'"that's nothing. you should have seen ...."'When that happened to me. I ...: "When I was a child .... You think you have it bad ... " are phrases of "one-upmanship.'* This approach shifts attention from the person who wants to be listened to and leaves him or her feeling unimportant.

Diagnosing, psychoanalytic response-'What you need is ...."'The reason you feel the way you do is ... ;' "You don't really mean that" "Your problem is... " are phrases that tell others what they feel. Telling people how they feel or why they feel the way they do can be a two-edged sword. If the diagnoser is wrong, the speaker feels pressed: if the diagnoser is right, the speaker may feel exposed or captured. Most people do not want to be told how to feel and would rather volunteer their feelings than to have them exposed.

Prying-questioning response-'Why, "'who, "where, "when," "how," "what" are responses common to us all. But such responses tend to make the speaker feel "on the spot" and, therefore, resist the interrogation. At times. however. a questioning response is helpful for clarification, and in emergencies it is needed.

Warning, admonishing, commanding response-"You had better," "If you don't." "You have to," "You will." 'You must" are used constantly in the everyday work environment. Usually such responses produce resentment, resistance and rebellion. There are times, of course, when this response is necessary, such as in an emergency situation when the information being given is critical to human welfare.

Logical, lecturing response-"Don't you realize ... "Here is where you are wrong ... ;" "The facts are ...:" "Yes, but ... ' can be heard in any discussion with two people of differing opinions. Such responses tend to make the other person feel inferior or defensive. Of course, persuasion is part of the world we live in. In general, however, we need to trust that when people are given correct and full data they will make logical decisions for themselves.

Devaluation response-"It's not so bad." "Don't worry: "You'll get over it." or "Oh. you don't feel that way" are familiar phrases used in responding to others' emotions. A listener should recognize the sender's feelings and should not try to take away the feelings or deny them to the owner. In our desire to alleviate emotional pain. we apply bandages too soon and possibly in the wrong place.

Whenever a listener's responses convey nonacceptance of the speaker's feelings, the desire to change the speaker. a lack of trust, the sense that the speaker is inferior or at fault or being bad, communication blocks will occur.

Section 6 3

Communicating Communications

Awareness of One's own Feelings

For both senders and listeners. awareness of feelings requires the ability to stop and check what feelings one is presently experiencing and consciously to decide how to respond to the feelings. At first it may be uncomfortable and easy to forget, but by using it this technique becomes second nature. The individual should picture three lists:

Behaviors Feelings Responses

__________ __________ __________

__________ __________ __________

__________ __________ __________

At a given time, the person stops and mentally asks. 'What am I feeling?" One usually experiences a kaleidoscope of emotions simultaneously, but the person can work on focusing on one present dominant feeling. After the feeling is identified, the second "self-question" is what perceived behaviors are causing that feeling. Is it what the other person is saying or how he or she is saying it? Is it because I do not want to be bothered?

The next step is for the person to choose how he or she wants to react to the feeling. There is much written about letting others know one's feelings to bring congruence to actions and words. One can choose. however, not to express a feeling because of inappropriate time, place or circumstances. For example. I may identify a feeling of annoyance at being interrupted. To share that feeling may not be worthwhile in the situation. The main thing is that I am aware of my annoyance and what caused the feeling and can now choose whether or not to let it be a block to my listening. I can decide if my feeling is to be a listening block and I can prevent it from becoming one, if I so choose.

Another way of becoming aware of feelings is "hindsight analysis."After any given situation, the individual can recheck his or her responses and/or feelings. What happened to cause those feelings? What was I feeling during my responses? Why do I tend to avoid certain people and why do I enjoy being around others? "Why?" is very helpful in finding feelings and behaviors that cue those feelings. As a person works with this technique, identification and decision making will become better, resulting in more effective communication.

Conclusion

The communication process is complex but vital to effective problem solving and meaningful personal relationships. It is a process that is never really mastered; one can continually improve on it. It requires certain attitudes, knowledge, techniques, common sense and a willingness to try. Effective communication happens when we have achieved sufficient clarity or accuracy to handle each situation adequately.

Submitted by:

J. Ryck Luthi

J. Ryck Luthi is the coordinator of student programs at the University of Utah. Salt Lake City. Utah. and is currently teaching in the areas of leadership training and value clarification and doing consulting for a number of community agencies. He has authored several articles in communication and personal development Mr. Luthi's background is in counseling and student personnel development.

Section 6 4

Communicating Communications

References:

Lull. P.E.. Funk. F.E., and Piersol, D.T. What Communications Means to the Corporation President Advanced Management 1955.20. 17-20.

Nichols. R.G. Listening Is a Ten Part Skill. Chicago: Enterprise Publications, 1952.

Redding. W.C.. and Sanbom. GA (Eds.) Business and Industrial Communication: A Sourcebook. New York: Harper and Row, 1964.

Reik. T. Listening With the Third Ear. New York: Pyramid. 1972.

Section 6 5

Communication Effectiveness:Action Listening and Sending Feeling Messages

"I know you believe that you understand what you think I said, but I am not sure you realize that what you heard is not what I meant."When a person communicates a message to another person, the message usually contains two elements: content and feeling. Both elements are important because both give the message meaning. However, we often do not understand other people's messages or are misunderstood by others because we forget that meanings are in people, not in words.

The Risk of Communicating Nonacceptance

The communication of mutual acceptance is vital to developing and maintaining work and personal relationships. However, various ways of responding to situations run the risk of communicating nonacceptance. To understand a person's point of view effectively, one should avoid communicating nonacceptance. According to Gordon (1970. pp. 41-44), author of several books on active listening, most people in a listening situation commonly respond in one or more of the following twelve ways:

1. Ordering, directing: “You have to . . .”

2. Warning, threatening: “You’d better not . . .”

3. Preaching, moralizing: “You ought to . . .”

4. Advising, giving solutions: “Why don’t you . . .”

5. Lecturing, informing: “Here are the facts . . .”

6. Evaluating, blaming: “you’re wrong . . .”

7. Praising, agreeing: “You’re wrong . . .”

8. Name-calling, shaming: “You’re stupid . . .”

9. Interpreting, analyzing: “What you need . . .”

10. Sympathizing, supporting: “You’ll be OK . . .”

11. Questioning, probing: “Why did you . . .”

12. Withdrawing, avoiding: “Let’s forget it . . .”

Active Listening

A more effective way of responding to a listening situation is called "active listening." Gordon (1970) defines active listening as a communication skill to help people solve their own problems. In active listening, the listener is involved with the sender's need to communicate. To be effective, the listener must take an "active" responsibility to understand the content and feeling of what is being said. The listener can respond with a statement, in his own words. of what he feels the sender's message means. For example:

Sender: "The deadline for this report is not realistic!"

Listener: "You feel you're pressured to get the report done."

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Communicating Effectiveness:Active Listening and Sending Feeling Messages

If the listener is to understand the senders meaning, he/she will need to "put himself/herself in the other person's place." Feeding back perceptions of intended meaning allows the listener to check the accuracy of his/her listening and understanding.

Benefits of Active Listening

An open communication climate for understanding is created through active listening. The listener can learn to see what a person means and how the person feels about situations and problems. Active listening is a skill that can communicate acceptance and increase interpersonal trust among people. It can also facilitate problem solving. Therefore, the appropriate use of active listening increases the communication effectiveness of people.

Principles in Active Listening

Active listening is not intended to manipulate people to behave or think the way others think they should. The listener also should not "parrot" someone's message by repeating the exact words used. Empathy is a necessary ingredient-the listener should communicate warmth toward and feeling about the sender's message by putting himself/herself in the sender's place. Timing is another pitfall active listening is not appropriate when there is no time to deal with the situation or when someone is asking only for factual information. Also, it is important that the listener be sensitive to nonverbal messages about the right time to stop giving feedback. Avoiding these common pitfalls will make active listening a more effective communication skill.

Principle of Problem Ownership

Since active listening is most appropriate when a person expresses feelings about a problem, it is necessary to ask who owns the problem. The principle of problem ownership can be demonstrated in the following situations.

1. Person A’s needs are not being satisfied by his or her own behavior, and A’s behavior does not directly interfere with Person B’s satisfaction of his or her own needs. Therefore, A owns the problem.

2. Person A’s needs are being satisfied, but his or her behavior interferes in some way with Person B’s satisfaction of his or her own needs and thus creates a problem for B. B then owns the problem.

3. Person A is satisfying his or her own needs, and his or her behavior does not directly interfere with Person B’s needs. In this case, there is not problem.

Active listening is very useful, but it is not appropriate to use if another person’s behavior is creating the problem.

Communicating One’s Needs

Ineffective Approaches

It is necessary for the person who owns the problem to know how to confront it and communicate his or her needs so that other people will listen. However, people frequently confront problems in a way that tends to stimulate defensiveness and resistance. The two most common approaches:

Section 6 7

Communication Effectiveness:Action Listening and Sending Feeling Messages

1. Evaluating-communicates judgment, blame, ridicule or shame ("Don't you know how to use that machine?": "You're late again!"). This method has several risks: a) it makes people defensive and resistant to further communication; b) it implies power over the other person and c) it threatens and reduces the other person's self-esteem.

2. Sending solutions-communicates what the other person should do rather than what the speaker is feeling ("If you don't come in on time. I'll have to report you": "Why don't you do it this way?"). Sending solutions carries risks: a) people become resistive if they are told what to do, even if they agree with the solution; b) this approach indicates that the sender's needs are more important than the receiver's; c) it communicates a lack of trust in other people's capacities to solve their own problems and d) it reduces the responsibility to define the problem clearly and explore feasible alternatives to a problem.

A More Effective Approach

Problems can be confronted and one's needs can be made known without making other people feel defensive. An effective communication message involves three components: 1) owning feelings. 2) sending feelings and 3) describing behavior.

Ownership of feelings focuses on "who owns the problem." The sender of a message needs to accept responsibility for his or her own feelings. Messages that own the sender's feelings usually begin with or contain "L".

Sometimes, communicating feelings is viewed as a weakness, but the value of sending feelings is communicating honesty and openness by focusing on the problem and not evaluating the person.

Describing behavior concentrates on what one person sees, hears and feels about another person's behavior as it affects the observer's feelings and behavior. The focus is on specific situations that relate to specific times and places.

It is useful to distinguish between descriptions and evaluations of behavior. The emphasized parts of the next statements illustrate evaluations of behavior.

"I can't finish this report if you are so inconsiderate as to interrupt me."

“'You're a loudmouth"

The emphasized parts of the following statements are descriptions of behavior.

"I can't finish this report If you constantly interrupt me."

"I feel that you talked considerably during the meetings."

A design for sending feeling messages can be portrayed as follows:

Ownership + Feeling Word + Description of Behavior = Feeling Message

Example:

"I (ownership) am concerned (feeling word) about finishing this report on time" (description of behavior).

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Communication Effectiveness:Active Listening and Sending Feeling Messages

The effectiveness of feeling messages can be attributed to several factors:

"I" messages are more effective because they place responsibility with the sender of the message

"I" messages reduce the other person's defensiveness and resistance to further communication.

Behavioral descriptions provide feedback about the other person's behavior, but do not evaluate it.

Although “I' messages require some courage, they honestly express the speaker's feelings.

Feeling messages promote open communication in work and personal relationships.

Summary

Sending feeling messages and listening actively are skills that can be applied to work, family and personal relationships.

No one is wrong. At most someone is uninformed. If I think a man is wrong, either I am unaware of something or he is. So unless I want to play a superiority game, I had best find out what he is looking at.

"You're wrong" means "I don't understand you"-I'm not seeing what you're seeing. But there is nothing wrong with you, you are simply not me and that's not wrong. (Prather, 1970. unpaged)

Submitted by:

Jack N. Wismer. Ph. D.. The 1978 Annual Handbook for Group Facilitators.

Jack N. Wismer, Ph. D.. Is an employee development specialist with the Bureau of Land Management. Denver. Colorado. He is currently involved in organization development consulting and conducts public and in-house workshops on management by objectives and communication effectiveness. Dr. Wismer's background is in teaching interpersonal and organization communication, adult education, counseling and program-evaluation research.

References and Readings:

Gibb. J.R. Defensive Communication. Journal of Communication, 1961, 11, 141-148. Gordon. T. Parent Effectiveness Training. New York: Peter H. Wyden. 1970.

Prather, H. Notes to Myself. Lafayette. Calif.; Real People Press, 1970.

Rogers, C. Communication: Its Blocking and Facilitating. Northwestern University Information, 1952.20, 9-15.Stewart. J. (Ed.). Bridges Not Walls: A Book About lnterpersonal Communication. Reading Mass,: AddisonWesley. 1973.

Section 6 9

Feedback

"Feedback" is a way of helping another person to consider changing his/her behavior. It is communication to a person (or group) which gives that person information about how he/she affects others. As in a guided missile system, feedback helps an individual keep behavior "on target" and. thus, better achieve goals.

Some criteria for useful feedback:

1. It is descriptive rather than evaluative-By describing one's own reaction. it leaves the individual free to use it or not to use it as he/she sees fit By avoiding language, it reduces the need for the individual to react defensively.

2. It is specific rather than general-To be told that one is "dominating" will probably not be as useful as to be told that' just now when we were deciding the issue, you did not listen to what others said and I felt forced to accept your arguments or receive fast attack from you.

3. It takes into account the needs of both the receiver and giver of feedback-Feedback can be destructive when it serves only our own needs and fails to consider the needs of the person on the receiving end.

4. It is directed toward behavior which the receiver can do something about-Frustration is only increased when a person is reminded of some shortcoming over which he/she has no control.

5. It is solicited rather than imposed-Feedback is most useful when the receiver has formulated the kind of questions which those observing can answer.

6. It is well-rimed-In general, feedback is most useful at the earliest opportunity after the given behavior (depending. of course, on the person's readiness to hear it. support available from others, etc.).

7. It is checked to insure clear communication-One way of doing this is to have the receiver try to rephrase the feedback he/she has received to see if it corresponds to what the sender had in mind.

8. When feedback is given in a training group, both giver and receiver have opportunity to check with others in the group the accuracy of the feedback. Is this one person's impression shared by others?

Feedback, then, is a way of giving help; it is a corrective mechanism for the individual who wants to learn how well his/her behavior matches his/her intentions: and it is a means of establishing one's identity.

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Communication at cross purposes is common in everyday life. May tries to persuade Bill to adopt a certain way of doing things, arguing logically for the efficiency of her way. Bill responds with counterarguments about its human costs. May reacts with a yet more telling cost-benefit analysis. Bill counters with examples of likely inconveniences for specific clients. By now the metamessages have taken over, each person is bent on defending her or his approach and emotional misperceptions of the other person distort all further communication.

One frequent cause of crossed communication is the common tendency to favor one particular style of communication, often at the cost of being insensitive to other styles-in others, as well as In oneself. Ideally. one should be:

conscious of one's own stylistic preferences and dislikes; able quickly to detect such preferences and dislikes in another person; able to adjust one's own style to that of another person.

If one attempts to achieve this ideal. a surprising number of payoffs result both in personal insights and in interpersonal skills.

Commonly Preferred Styles of Communication

Jung (see Jacobi. 1968) identified two major dimensions in our modes of relating to events: a thinking feeling polarity and, at right angles to it, a sensing-intuiting one. These polarities are familiar in everyday life:

Thinking: the logical, rational. sequential analysis that has been associated with left-brain hemisphere dominance (Ornstein. 1978)-or with "convergent" or" vertical" thinking (DeBono. 1970; Hudson. 1970). If this is one's preferred mode of relating to "reality." one will probably use a precise. analytical form of communication.

Intuiting: the making of association; having insights that yield a novel 'big picture" of a situation; the free flow of creative ideas. Currently associated with openness to right-brain hemisphere functioning (Ornstein. 1978). this dimension is also termed "divergent" or 'lateral" thinking (DeBono. 1970; Hudson. 1970).

Feeling group maintenance: empathy with others' feelings, leading to an emphasis on human relationships when communicating about how things get done.

Doing/task orientation (Jung's knowing by experiencing/sensing): a tendency to sense reality by doing and to emphasize practicality in communicating about that reality.

These continua can be illustrated graphically as follows:

Doing

Thinking Feeling

IntuitingSection 6 11


Use of the Styles

Suppose you had a television set with four channels on which you could regularly get programs. Suppose, further, that reception was excellent on the first channel, good on the second, indifferent on the third and poor on the fourth. In time, you would probably find yourself using the first and second channels and avoiding the third and especially the fourth. People's use of the four modes of relating to, and communicating about, reality is somewhat similar.

We each have a mix of all four styles. There is our "strong-suit" style, which we use easily and skillfully, and our "back-up" style, which we use fairly easily and skillfully. Then there is generally a style that we use only with effort and rather clumsily. Finally, there is a style that always gives us trouble, that does not "work" when we have to use it. Generally, we are fairly conscious of our use of our stronger styles, but we often put the weaker ones out of mind. We tend not to dwell on how little we practice them or how much we avoid having to use them. As a result we tend to have blind spots-not being aware of how much we overuse our strong-suit style and underuse our weakest one.

Shifting Styles Under Stress

Our society tends to overtrain and overuse the thinking style and underpromote and underuse the feeling one. Likewise, the doing style is much appreciated and used, the intuiting style somewhat less so. Usually we are not very conscious of these preferences. If we think about these things at all, we are most conscious of the style that is dominant when we are "really" ourselves-when we are under nonstress conditions. Usually, however, our strong-suit style drops back when we come under stress: and often our nonstress back-up style comes to the fore. Generally, under stress, our doing and feeling styles seem to come to the fore and our thinking and especially intuiting styles tend to recede. This shift can make us seem. to associates, a "different person" under extreme stress.

Some people are much more self-aware than others in these matters. The thinker-that is, the person for whom thinking constitutes the dominant style in the foursome-tends to be most aware of his or her, communication styles. But the thinker does not necessarily handle stress best. Knowing about one's innertendencies and being able to handle those tendencies are two different things. It is the feeler who seems to handle stress best Feelers are more at home with their emotions-even though feelers sometimes do not appear very conscious of their dominant styles. Because doers generally cannot be bothered with introspection, they are not overly aware of their style mixes and can shift a great deal under stress, precisely because they tend to undervalue feelings. Intuitors, who are often surprisingly unaware of their style mix. seem to be the least stable under stress of all the dominant modes.

Figure 1 diagrams some examples of the style shifts that can result from stress, showing how extensive these shifts can sometimes be. A style's position (or several style's positions) in an individual's order of preference can change-and the emphasis given to a style can change too.

Style Blind Spots

The bigger one's blind spot, the more one tends to overuse one's strong suit style and to be oblivious to the need to match styles with someone else on a markedly different wavelength. People get along best with others who are on their wavelength: like attracts like. Thus, thinkers will tend to gravitate together, producing a group with tremendous ability to handle analytical problems. As all group members have strongly developed thinking skills, they enhance one another's effectiveness. While such a group builds an enviable record for its success in coping with analytical problems, sooner or later it will be handed a problem that calls for skills in intuition or empathy-and then disaster can very well result. It is not just

Section 6 12


that the group's skills do not match the skills the problem calls for, worse, "groupthink" (Janis. 1972) can result, as the group's mutually shared blind spots increase its members' tendency not to use their-in this case, more appropriate-weak styles.

Figure 1. Style Shifts Under Stress

Applications of the Four-Communication-Styles Approach

Knowledge about stylistic preferences has been used to hamstring juries. If, by questioning, it is possible to eliminate all the "feelers" from a jury, the group that results will not be able to achieve consensus on any issue that is at all emotional or controversial.

Style Flexing

The most frequent use of expertise in these four communication styles is "style flexing." This involves: o Knowing your own most and least-favored styles. in stress and nonstress situations alike:

Knowing how you come across to others in either situation:

Learning how to identify the dominant style of any person(s) to whom you may be talking:

Learning how to switch your style so as to get on the same wavelength as your conversational partner(s).

Team Building

The next most frequent use of expertise in this approach is in team building. It is quite unusual to be a "team in one" (equally strong in all four styles both under stress and non-stress conditions). Most of us have overdeveloped some styles and underdeveloped others, but there are some different strong-suit styles that seem to go well together-feelers and thinkers in growth groups, for instance. The thinkers can dispassionately analyze a complex interpersonal issue, while they envy the feelers their ability to express their emotions and bring interpersonal issues to a head (Eisenstadt. 1969).

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The Four-Communication-Style Approach

By and large, however, naturally formed teams in organizations usually turn out to, have the same one strong-suit style dominant in each member. Yet it is known that a heterogeneous group will outperform a homogeneous one, if only in-fighting can be prevented. Here, a team-building consultant can help to bring a well-rounded team together and use its members' range of skills to keep it together without conflicting viewpoints degenerating into in-fighting.

Teaching

Application of this approach to teaching (not yet common) holds great promise. Most teachers tend to have one, or at most two, strong communication styles. But they face classes in which all four dominant styles are represented, and the consequences are all too familiar. A teacher who has a dominant hard-line, analytical thinking style will simply make any student who is a feeler curl up inside as a result of what the feeler perceives to be a cold, calculating, impersonal presentation.

Furthermore, the overrepresentation of certain styles of teaching is reinforced by the teaching technology and by the examination system. Any given teaching approach or instrument may be effective with a student whose dominant style is thinking and ineffective with another student with a dominant feeling style (DeNike. 1976). For example, seminars suit thinkers/analysts, practical suit doers and instructional simulations suit feelers with a thinker back-up style. Basically, the school system is particularly suited to the thinker, whose activities-mathematical or linguistic-it can quantify and certify. The other strongsuit styles, especially that of the feeler, find a much less supportive atmosphere in the school system (Bolles, 1978; Torrance, 1971).

A teacher needs to know his or her least and most favored styles. He or she should be able to communicate on any of the four wavelengths and should be equipped with teaching instruments that represent all of those four styles. School curriculums should be expressly designed to accommodate all styles.

Position Papers

Writers of position papers, or of any submission to a multimember board, can be trained to present their material in such a way that readers of each of the four dominant styles can easily understand communications conveyed in "their" respective styles. A reader who is a doer will want a brief expression of basic findings and recommendations: that person will go straight for the "bottom line." The feeler will look for an assessment of the implications, in human relations, for the company team. The intuitor will expect a "big picture." a "look down the road" (futurist orientation) and an impact assessment. The thinker will search for appendices in which details have been marshalled in sequence, options stated and trends extrapolated and reviewed. A report has to speak to its reader in the reader's own dominant com-munication style if it is to be seen as "realistic."

Validation and Summation

The four-communication-styles approach is so obviously and immediately useful that most practitioners' energies have been directed toward evolving new and more powerful ways of teaching or using it (see Carney. 1976; Parr, 1979). Little energy has been put into validation and reports (see Slocum. 1978). Some observations, however, can be made. First, breaking mental sets does not necessarily mean innovative thinking. With thinker-analysts, it may involve criticism or mere negativeness. Second, fluency of ideas does not necessarily mean novelty in thinking. Doers prove amazingly fertile in ideas for ways of coping, but these ideas are remarkably commonplace or simply variations on one theme: doers are concerned with effectiveness rather than originality. Originality is the predominant characteristic of the intuitors, as a group.

Section 6 14


Third, feelers are not emotional in their thinking. They tend to ask, "How is this going to affect people?" It is the intuitors, who, if they become blocked (that is, if they cannot produce their usual spate of novel ideas) evidence most emotion. If they are producing well, they are very genial. The thinkers, too, if they cannot offer constructive suggestions and begin to produce spates of negative criticism, soon become emotional in the way they express their ideas.

Fourth, the most outstanding performance comes from a participant whose unique balance of two strong suits is ideally suited to the twin demands-criticism and originality-of the problem. This concept of balance may well be one of the most important ideas involved in the four-communication-styles approach.

Suggested Activities:

The following activities can be used to encourage participants to examine their own styles of communication.

1. Workshop participants break up into helping groups of five or six. Each person rates himself or herself as a "doer." "feeler,' .. intuitor," or "thinker" in each of the following characteristics: body language, dress, social "props" (office decor), tidiness, use of time, phone mannerisms, memo-writing habits. Then each participant rates each of the other members on the same dimensions. Group members compare ratings to see to what extent self-images correspond with others' images.

2. A role play is set up in which a player is required to persuade a committee to adopt a controversial project or policy of the role player's choosing. This role play compels the persuader to "style flex" repeatedly, as the individual responds to the questions and criticisms of the members of the committee. The role player's performance is evaluated with each group member indicating how the persuader was perceived by that member. The role player discusses what he or she learned about his or her use of a dominant and a back-up style.

Submitted by:

Tom Carney, PhD.. The 1980 Annual Handbook for Group Facilitators.

Tom Carney, Ph.D., is a professor of communication studies at the University of Windsor, Ontario, Canada where he teaches undergraduate and graduate courses in organizational communication. He has consulted with business and government as well as educational and religious groups and has published 17 books and over 100 articles and reviews on a variety of subjects. His current interests are career management, futurism and psychosynthesis.

References:

Bolles, R.N. The Three Boxes of Llfe. Berkeley. CA: Ten Speed Press, 1978.

Carney. T.F. No Limits to Growth: Mind-Expanding Techniques Winnipeg, Manitoba: Harbeck. 1976.

DeBono. E. Lateral Thinking: A Textbook of Creativity. London: Ward Lock Educational. 1970.

DeNike, L. An Exploratory Study of the Relationship of Educational Cognitive Style to Learning From Simulation Games. Simulation and Games. 1976,7(l).72-73.

Eisenstadt. J.W. Personality Style and Sociornetric Choice. Washington. D.C.: NTL Institute. 1969.

Section 6 15


Hudson. L. Frames of Mind: Ability, Perception and Self-perception in the Arts and Sciences. Harmondsworth. Middlesex: Penguin, 1970.

Jacobi, J. The Psychology of C.G. Jung. London: Routledge & Kegan Paul. 1968.

Janis, J.L. Victims of Group Think. Boston: Houghton-Mifflin. 1972.

Ornstein, R The Split and the Whole Brain. Human Nature. 1978, 1(5), 76-83.

Parr, B.P. Organizational Communications: Working Papers. Windsor, Ontario: Department of Communication Studies, University of Windsor, 1979.

Slocum. J.W.. Jr. Does Cognitive Style Affect Diagnosis and Intervention Strategies of Change Agents? Group & Organization Studies, 1978.3(2),199-2 10.

Torrance. E.P. Four Types of Gifted Adolescents. In W.M. Cruickshank (Ed.). Psychology of Exceptional Children and Youth Englewood Cliffs, NJ: Prentice-Hall. 1971.

Section 6 16

Poor Listening Habits: Identifying and Improving Them

Goals:

1. To help participants to identify their poor listening habits.

2. To allow participants to practice effective listening skills.

Group size: Any number of dyads.

Time required: Approximately one and one-half hours.

Materials:

1. Enough copies of the Poor Listening Habits: ABC Listening Sheet for half the participants.

2. Enough copies of the Poor Listening Habits: NL Sheet for half the participants.

3. One copy of the Poor Listening Habits: Theory Sheet for each participant.

4. One copy of the Poor Listening Habits: Effective Listening Sheet for each participant.

5. A pencil for each participant.

6. A writing surface for each participant.

7. A newsprint flip chart and a felt-tipped marker.

8. Masking tape for posting newsprint.

Physical setting:

A room that is large enough to allow dyads to converse without disturbing one another.

Process:

1. The facilitator explains the goals of the activity and tells the participants they will be involved in several activities that will require them to exaggerate poor listening habits.

2. The group is divided into dyads.

3. A copy of the ABC Listening Sheet and a pencil are distributed to one person in each dyad. The participants who do not have the ABC Listening Sheet are designated "speaker number one" and are instructed to start talking to their partners about any subject they wish. (Five minutes.)

4. The facilitator stops the conversations and asks how it felt to be the speaker. The facilitator explains that the listeners were asked to count the speakers' words that began with "a." "b" and "c". The listeners are asked. "How did this scorekeeping affect your ability to listen?" (Five minutes.)

5. A copy of the NL sheet and a pencil are distributed to each number-one speaker, and the other participants are designated "speaker number two." Each speaker number two is instructed to start talking to his or her partner about any subject that is different from the subject his or her partner chose. (Five minutes.)

Section 6 17


6. The facilitator interrupts the conversation and asks the number-two speaker how it felt to be the speaker. The facilitator explains that the listeners were instructed not to listen. The number-one speakers are asked what methods they used to keep from listening. They are also asked to recall some of the things the number-two speakers said. The facilitator leads a discussion on which methods seemed • to interfere most with listening and how a habit of using such methods can be broken. (10 minutes.)

7. The facilitator gives the following instructions:

The number-one speakers will try to talk to their partners about the topics they previously chose, and the number-two speakers will respond by talking about the topics they previously chose. Continue the conversation until you are told to stop.

8. After a couple of minutes, the facilitator interrupts the conversation and asks. "What was the biggest listening problem with these conversations?"

9. The facilitator announces that the number-one speakers should select new topics and that as they talk, the number-two speakers should interrupt repeatedly by asking "why" questions (e.g.. "Why did he do that?" or "why is that important?"). The number-one speakers must begin their responses with the word "because."

10. After a couple of minutes, the facilitator interrupts the conversation and asks. "What were the listening problems in this why-because conversation?"

11. The facilitator asks the number-two speakers to choose topics about which they feel positively and strongly. The facilitator then announces that each number-one speaker will attempt to argue forcefully against the number-two speaker’s position.

12. After a couple of minutes, the facilitator asks participants how this conversation felt and what the listening problems were.

13. The total group is reassembled. Each participant is given a copy of the theory sheet and a copy of the effective listening sheet and is asked to read both handouts and to identify his or her own poor listening habits.

14. The facilitator elicits comparisons between the items listed on the theory sheet with the listening methods that were used in each of the activities. The participants' responses are recorded on newsprint (10 minutes.)

15. The facilitator leads a discussion on how to break each habit listed on the theory sheet and how to acquire the skills listed on the effective listening sheet. (10 minutes.)

16. The participants are instructed to resume conversations with their partners. This time one member of each dyad relates a personal experience while his or her partner attempts to use effective listening skills; then the roles are reversed. (Five minutes.)

17. The facilitator leads a discussion on the following questions:

a. How did it feel to be a speaker this time? A listener?b. How was this last experience similar to and different from the previous experiences in this

activity? What poor listening skills did you continue to use?

Section 6 18


c. How can you improve your listening skills? With whom do you need to practice more effective listening?

d. What can you conclude about effective listening and its benefits? (15 minutes.)

Variations:

1. The activity can be used as an icebreaker by rotating partners for each conversation.

2. Subgroups can be formed for identifying and discussing poor listening habits.

3. The activity can be shortened by eliminating some of the conversations.

Submitted by:

Joseph Seltzer and Leland Howe. The 1987 Annual Developing Human Resources.

Joseph Seltzer. Ph.D.. is an associate professor and chairman of the management department at LaSalle University. He teaches courses in organizational behavior and analysis and also in managerial and communications skills. Dr. Seltzer's current research interests include leadership. stress and nonprofit management He is on the editorial board of the Organizational Behavior Teaching Review and is treasurer of the Eastern Academy of Management.

Leland W. Howe. Ph.D., is president of Howe Associates In Vermontville. Michigan. His specialties are consultation skills, organization development, communication skills and team development He has authored or co-authored several books. Dr. Howe is a former professor of psychological education at Temple University and is currently a psychotherapist and consultant to a number of schools and other organizations.

Section 6 19

Poor Listening Habits: ABC Listening Sheet

Do not allow your partner to read this sheet.

As your partner is talking, keep track of the total number of words he or she uses that begin with "a", 'b", and "c." Do not count the articles 'a' and "an" and do not count the conjunction "and." Do not tell your partner what you are doing.

You can take part in the conversation, but be sure to keep an accurate score while your partner is talking.

A B C

Section 6 20

Poor Listening Habits: NL Sheet

Do not allow your partner to read this sheet.

The "NL" In the title stands for "Not Listening." While your partner is talking, your task is to not listen. You O may attempt to not listen in any way you like, as long as you stay in your seat You may occasionally say something, but it need not relate to what your partner has been saying. Although your partner may realize you are not being attentive, do not tell him or her that you are deliberately not listening.

Section 6 21

Poor Listening Habits Theory Sheet

Most people spend more time listening than they spend on any other communication activity, yet a large percentage of people never learn to listen well. One reason is that they develop poor listening habits that continue with them throughout life. The following list contains some of the most common poor listening habits.

1. Not paying attention-Listeners may allow themselves to be distracted or to think of something else. Also, not wanting to listen often contributes to lack of attention.

2. "Pseudollstening”-Often people who are thinking about something else deliberately try to look as though they were listening. Such pretense may leave the speaker with the impression that the listener has heard some important information or instructions offered by the speaker.

3. Listening but not hearing-Sometimes a person listens only to facts or details or to the way they were presented and misses the real meaning.

4. Rehearsing-Some people listen until they want to say something: then they quit listening, start rehearsing what they will say and wait for an opportunity to respond.

5. Interrupting-The listener does not wait until the complete meaning can be determined, but interrupts so forcefully that the speaker stops in mid-sentence.

6. Hearing what is expected-People frequently think they heard speakers say what they expected them to say. Alternatively, they refuse to hear what they do not want to hear.

7. Feeling defensive-The listeners assume that they know the speakers intention or why something was said or for various other reasons, they expect to be attacked.

8. Listening for a point of disagreement-Some listeners seem to wait for the chance to attack someone. They listen intently for points on which they can disagree.

Section 6 22

Poor Listening Habits: Effective Listening Sheet

One way people can improve their listening is to identify their own poor listening habits and make an effort to change them. The list on the Poor Listening Habits Theory Sheet will help people to identify some of their own listening patterns. If the listeners will then pay special attention to the circumstances that seem to invite such behavior, they can consciously attempt to change their habits. For example, if a woman realizes that she is "pseudolistening" to her husband, she can stop him and ask him to repeat his last idea. She can even say, " I'm sorry, my mind was wandering." The more she becomes conscious of poor listening behavior, the more likely she is to change her poor listening habits.

Besides ridding themselves of bad listening habits, people can acquire positive listening habits. Listed below are a few descriptions of behavior that can lead to effective listening:

1. Paying attention-If people really want to be good listeners, they must, on occasion, force themselves to pay attention to the speakers. When speakers are dull conversationalists, a listener must sometimes use effort to keep from being distracted by other things. It is important not only to focus on the speakers. but to use nonverbal cues (such as eye contact, head nods and smiles) to let them know they are being heard.

2. Listening for the whole message-This includes looking for meaning and consistency or congruence in both the verbal and nonverbal messages and listening for ideas, feelings and intentions as well as facts. It also includes hearing things that are unpleasant or unwelcome.

3. Hearing before evaluating-Listening to what someone says without drawing premature conclusions is a valuable aid to listening. By questioning the speaker in a nonaccusing manner, rather than giving advice or judging. a listener can often discover exactly what the speaker has in mind-which many times is quite different from what the listener had assumed.

4. Paraphrasing what was heard-If the listener nonjudgmentally paraphrases the words of the speaker and asks if that is what was meant, many misunderstandings and misinterpretations can be avoided.

Section 6 23

Active Listening: A Communication-Skills Practice

Goals:

1. To identify the emotional messages that are often hidden in communication.

2. To gain practice in active-listening skills.

Group size: An unlimited number of dyads.

Time required: approximately one and one-half hours.

Materials:

1. Two copies of the Active Listening Work Sheet for each participant.

2. A copy of the Active Listening Feedback Sheet for each participant.

3. A pencil for each participant.

Physical setting: An area in which the dyads can talk without disturbing each other.

Process:

1. The facilitator gives a lecturette on active-listening skills. He/she emphasizes that people communicate much more than words or ideas and that strong feelings often lie behind the words. He/she points out the confusion that often results from the difference between “think” and “feel” and the nonverbal cues that can reveal feelings that are not verbalized.

2. The facilitator divides the group into dyads (pairs) and directs that each of them is to identify one member as the employee and the other as the supervisor.

3. The facilitator gives a copy of the Active Listening Work Sheet and a pencil to each participant. He/she goes over the instructions and tells the participants that they will have 20 minutes in which to complete the activity.

4. After 20 minutes, the facilitator calls time. He/she distributes a second copy of the Active Listening Work Sheet to each participant and directs the participants to reverse roles and repeat the activity with different members playing the supervisor and the employee.

5. After 20 minutes, the facilitator calls time and reassembles the total group. He/she gives each participant a copy of the Active Listening Feedback Sheet. He/she goes over the suggested responses with the participants. Any questions are discussed by the group. (10 to 15 minutes.)

6. The facilitator directs each dyad to write on the back of the Active Listening Feedback Sheet one or more observations about the experience and conclusions about how active-listening skills can help or hinder effective communication. (5 minutes.)

7. The observations and reactions of members are shared. The facilitator then leads a discussion on the application of active-listening skills.

Section 6 24

Active Listening: A Communication Skills Practice

Variations:

1. Situations and messages can be developed to suit the needs of the group (e.g., parent-child, teacher-student, husband-wife, counselor-client, etc.).

2. The activity can be done individually, and responses compared with a partner.

3. The activity can be done as a group effort, with the group composing the active-listening responses.

4. The activity can be set up so that only the person giving the message sees the script. The listener responds as in a role play.

Notes on the Use of “Active Listening”:

Submitted by:

Jack N. Wismer, A Handbook of Structured Experiences for Human Relations Training, Structured Experience 252.

Section 6 25

Active Listening Work Sheet

Instructions:

People communicate much more than words or ideas. Behind the words often lie feelings. These feelings often are communicated through nonverbal means, even while conflicting ideas are communicated verbally. Trying to look and listen for feelings, write an active-listening response for each situation and message on this sheet.

The employee will begin by reading Statement 1, and the supervisor will give an active-listening response. The supervisor will then read statement 2, and the employee will give an active-listening response. This process will continue, with the employee reading all odd-numbered statements and the supervisor reading all even-numbered statements.

As each member gives a response, it should be noted in the space provided.

Example:

Situation and Message:

Supervisor sets policy that he or she will sign all letters. Employee says: “I want to sign my own letters. I wrote them, didn’t I?”

Active-Listening Response:

The supervisor responds: “You feel frustrated (resentful) when you are not allowed to sign letters that you have written.”

Situation and Message: Active-Listening Response:

1. Supervisor says a report is not thorough enough. Employee says: “Now I have to write this report over. You never tell me what you expect until it is written.

1. The supervisor responds:

2. Supervisor must meet a report deadline. Supervisor says: “We have got to be better organized.”

2. The employee responds:

3. Employee is not implementing supervisor’s ideas. Employee says: “I was on the job long before you came here. I don’t need you to tell me how to do it.”


4. Regular staff meeting never starts on time. Supervisor says: “I get tired of waiting for some people every week before we can start these meetings.”


5. Supervisor has just made a project-team assignment. Employee says: “I don’t want to work with Bill on any more assignments. He never meets his deadlines.”


Section 6 26

Active Listening Work Sheet

Situation and Message: Active-Listening Response:

6. An employee has not turned in the last two monthly progress reports. Supervisor says: “Can’t you be as professional as the rest of the staff and turn in your report on time?”


7. Supervisor has initiated a new work procedure. Employee says: “We tried something like this three years ago and it didn’t work then.”


8. Supervisor recognizes that some employees’ talk is so loud it is interfering with other employees writing a report. Supervisor says: “Can’t you be more considerate while others are trying to work?”


9. Supervisor has passed on a change in work priorities from the top office. Employee says: “You give us too much unscheduled work. I never can get it all done.”


10. Employee has refused to work overtime on a project. Supervisor says: “Young people today are lazy!”


Section 6 27

Active Listening Feedback Sheet

This sheet provides some possible responses for each situation; it is not intended to identify “correct” responses. A response may well be influenced by the way in which you perceive the situation and the intonation that accompanies the verbal message you receive. In some of these situations, the speaker appears to be more defensive than in others. If the listener resists evaluate statements or solution, active listening and observation skills can be used effectively to deal with such interactions.

Sample answers:

1. a. You are uncertain and puzzled about what is expected.

b. You probably feel frustrated or discouraged about revising this report.

2. a. You are concerned about finishing the report by the deadline.

b. You are feeling bogged down by all the work.

3. a. You are frustrated when I offer suggestions because of your experience with this job.

b. You think that I distrust you when I give ideas on how to do your job.

4. a. You feel irritated that our meetings always start late.

b. You are anxious to start our meetings on time.

5. a. You feel that Bill will not do his share if he is assigned to this project.

b. You feel disappointed that I did not consult with you before the assignment.

c. You feel afraid that your performance might be jeopardized as a member of this team.

6. a. You think that I am not responsible when I do not turn in my progress reports.

b. You are irritated when my progress reports are late.

7. a. You are concerned that this new procedure will not work.

b. You feel impatient when procedures that failed once are implemented again.

8. a. You are angry that our talking is disturbing others.

b. You are afraid that out talking will keep others from doing their work.

9. a. You feel frustrated when your work load appears to change constantly.

b. You feel discouraged because there is too much to do.

10. a. You are angry because you think that young people today are not as dedicated as you are.

b. You feel discouraged about the lack of interest in this project.

Section 6 28


1. If an associate has a personality conflict with a mutual acquaintance with whom it was important for him or her to get along, I would:

_____ a. Tell my associate that I felt he or she was partially responsible for the problem and try to explain how the other person was being affected.

_____ b. Not get involved because I wouldn’t want to endanger my relationship with either of them.

2. If one of my associates and I has a heated argument in the past and I realized that he or she was ill at ease around me from that time on, I would:

_____ a. Avoid making things worse and just let the whole thing drop.

_____ b. Bring it up and ask how the argument has affected our relationship.

3. If an associate began to avoid me and act in an aloof and withdrawn manner, I would:

_____ a. Mention the behavior and try to find out what was on his or her mind.

_____ b. Keep our contacts brief and aloof since that seems to be what he or she wanted.

4. If two of my associates and I were talking and one of them slipped and brought up a personal problem of mine that involved the other who was as yet unaware of any problem, I would:

_____ a. Change the subject and signal my associate to do the same.

_____ b. Fill in my uninformed associate on what the other was talking about and suggest we go into it later.

5. If an associate of mine told me that I was doing things that made me less effective in social situation, I would:

_____ a. Ask him or her to describe what has been observed and suggest changes that I might make.

_____ b. Resent the criticism and let him or her know why I behave the way I do.

6. If one of my associates aspired to an office in our organization and has been tentatively assigned by the president but I felt he or she was unqualified, I would:

_____ a. Not mention my misgivings at all and let them handle it in their own way.

_____ b. Tell my associate and the president of my misgivings and then leave the final decision to them.

7. If I felt that one of my associates was being unfair to me and others, but none of the others had mentioned anything about it, I would:

_____ a. Ask several of these people how they perceived the situation to see if they felt there was any unfairness.

_____ b. not ask the others, but wait for them to bring it up with me.

Section 6 29


8. If I were preoccupied with personal matters and an associate told me that I had become irritable with him or her and others, and had been jumping on them for unimportant things, I would:

_____ a. Say that I was preoccupied and would probably be on edge for a while.

_____ b. Listen to the complaints, but not try to explain.

9. If I had heard some associates discussing an ugly rumor about an associate of mine which I knew could hurt him or her and he or she asked me what I knew about it, I would:

_____ a. Say I didn’t know anything and that no one would believe a rumor like that anyway.

_____ b. Tell exactly what I had heard, when I had heard it and from whom.

10. If an associate pointed out that I had a personality conflict with another with whom it was important for me to get along, I would:

_____ a. Say I didn’t want to discuss the matter.

_____ b. Talk about it openly and find out how my behavior was affecting things.

11. If my relationship with an associate has been damaged by repeated arguments on an issue of importance to both of us, I would:

_____ a. Be cautious in my conversation so the issue would not come up again to worsen our relationship.

_____ b. Point out the problems the controversy was causing and suggest we discuss it until we get it resolved.

12. If, in a personal discussion with an associate about his or her problems and behavior, it was suggested that we discuss my problems and behavior, I would:

_____ a. Try to keep the discussion away from myself.

_____ b. Welcome the opportunity to hear what he or she felt about me and encourage comments.

13. If an associate began to tell me of hostile feelings about another associate whom he or she felt was being unkind to others (and I agreed wholeheartedly), I would:

_____ a. Listen and also express my own feelings so that it was clear where I stood.

_____ b. Listen, but not express my own negative views and opinions because they might be repeated.

14. If I thought an ugly rumor was being spread about me and suspected that one of my associates has quite likely heard it, I would:

_____ a. Avoid mentioning the issue and leave it up to my associate to tell me about it or not.

_____ b. Risk putting my associate on the spot by asking directly about the whole thing.

Section 6 30


15. If I had observed an associate in social situations doing a number of things which hurt his or her relationships, I would:

_____ a. Risk being seen as a busybody and tell what I had observed and my reactions.

_____ b. Keep my opinions to myself.

16. If two of my associates and I were talking and one of them inadvertently mentioned a problem which involved me, but of which I knew nothing, I would:

_____ a. Press them for information about the problem and their opinions.

_____ b. Leave it up to them to tell me or not.

17. If an associate began to jump on me for seemingly unimportant things, and to become irritated with me and others without real cause, I would:

_____ a. Treat him or her with kid gloves for a while assuming that there were some personal problems which were none of my business.

_____ b. Point out to him or her how this behavior was affecting people.

18. If I had begun to dislike certain habits of an associate to the point that it was interfering with my enjoying our relationship, I would:

_____ a. Say nothing directly, but show my feelings by ignoring him or her whenever the annoying habits were obvious.

_____ b. Get my feelings out in the open and clear the air so that we could continue our relationship comfortably.

19. In discussing social behavior with one of my more sensitive associates, I would:

_____ a. Avoid mentioning his or her flaws so as not to hurt feelings.

_____ b. Focus on flaws and weaknesses so he or she could improve their interpersonal skills.

20. If I knew I might be assigned to an important position in our group and my associates attitudes toward me became rather negative, I would:

_____ a. Discuss my shortcomings with my associates so I could see where to improve.

_____ b. Try to figure out my shortcomings by myself so I could improve.

Section 6 31


Feedback Disclosure

Willing to accept Willing toExpose myself

1-A

2-B

3-A

4-B

5-A

6-B

7-A

8-A

9-B

10-B

11-B

12-B

13-A

14-B

15-A

16-A

17-B

18-B

19-B

20-A

Section 6 32

Johari Patterns

Section 6 33

Johari Window

Section 6 34

The Johari Window:A Model for Soliciting and Giving Feedback

The process of giving and receiving feedback is one of the most important concepts in laboratory training. It is through feedback that we implement the poet’s words, “to see ourselves as others see us.” It is also through feedback that other people know how we see them. Feedback is a verbal or nonverbal communication to a person or group providing them with information as to how their behavior is affecting you or the state of your here-and-now feelings and perceptions (giving feedback or self-disclosure). Feedback is also a reaction by others. usually in terms of their feelings and perceptions, as to how your behavior is affecting them (receiving feedback). The term was originally borrowed from electrical engineering by Kurt Lewin, one of the founding fathers of laboratory training. In the field of rocketry, for example, each rocket has a built-in apparatus which sends messages to a steering mechanism on the ground. When the rocket is off target, these messages come back to the steering mechanism which makes adjustments and puts the rocket back on target again. In laboratory training, the group acts as a steering or corrective mechanism for individual members who, through the process of feedback. can be kept on target in terms of their own learning goals.

The process of giving and receiving feedback can be illustrated through a model called the Johari window. The window was originally developed by two psychologists. Joseph Luft and Harry Ingham, for their program in group process. The model can be looked upon as a communication window through which you give and receive information about yourself and others.

Looking at the four panes in terms of columns and rows, the two columns represent the self and the two rows represent the group. Column one contains "things that I know about myself." column two contains "things that I do not know about myself." Row one contains "things that the group knows about me;" row two contains "things that the group does not know about me." The information contained in these rows and columns is not static, but moves from one pane to another as the level of mutual trust and the exchange of feedback varies in the group. As a consequence of this movement the size and shape of the panes within the window will vary.

Section 6 35


The first pane, called the Arena, contains things that I know about myself and about which the group knows. It is an area characterized by free and open exchange of information between myself and others. The behavior here is public and available to everyone. The Arena increases in size as the level of trust increases between individuals or between the individual and his/her group and more information, particularly personally relevant information, is shared.

The second pane, the Blind Spot contains information that I do not know about myself, but which the group may know. As I begin to participate in the group. I communicate all kinds of information of which I am not aware, but which is being picked up by other people. This information maybe in the form of verbal cues, mannerisms, the way I say things or the style in which I relate to others. The extent to which we are insensitive to much of our own behavior and what it may communicate to others can be quite surprising and disconcerting. For example, a group member once told me that every time I was asked to comment on some personal or group issue. I always coughed before I answered.

In pane three are things that I know about myself, but of which the group is unaware. For one reason or another I keep this information hidden from them. My fear may be that if the group knew of my feelings, perceptions and opinions about the group or individuals in the group, they might reject, attack or hurt me in some way. As a consequence, I withhold this information. This pane is called the Facade or Hidden Area. One of the reasons I may keep this information to myself is that I do not see the supportive elements in the group. My assumption is that if I start revealing my feelings, thoughts and reactions, group members might judge me negatively. I cannot find out, however, how members will really react unless I test these assumptions and reveal something of myself. In other words, if I do not take some risks, I will never learn the reality or unreality of my assumptions. On the other hand, I may keep certain kinds of information to myself when my motives for doing so are to control or manipulate others.

The last pane contains things that neither I nor the group knows about me. Some of this material may be so far below the surface that I may never become aware of it. Other material, however, may be below the surface of awareness to both myself and the group, but can be made public through an exchange of feedback. This area is called the Unknown and may represent such things as intrapersonal dynamics, early childhood memories, latent potentialities and unrecognized resources. Since the internal boundaries can move backward and forward or up and down as a consequence of soliciting or giving feedback. it would be possible to have a window in which there would be no Unknown. Since knowing all about oneself is extremely unlikely, the Unknown in the Model illustrated is extended so that part of it will always remain unknown. If you are inclined to think in Freudian terms, you can call this extension the "Unconscious."

One goal we may set for ourselves in the group setting is to decrease our Blind Spots. i.e., move the vertical line to the right How can I reduce my Blind Spot? Since this area contains information that the group members know about me, but of which I am unaware, the only way I can increase my awareness of this material is to get feedback from the group. As a consequence, I need to develop a receptive attitude to encourage group members to give me feedback. That is. I need to actively solicit feedback from group members in such a way that they will feel comfortable in giving it to me. The more I do this, the more the vertical line will move to the right.

Section 6 36


SOLICIT FEEDBACK

A = ArenaBS = Blind SpotF = FaçadeU = Unknown

A BS

F U

Another goal we may set for ourselves, in terms of our model, is to reduce our Facade, i.e., move the horizontal line down. How can I reduce my Facade? Since this area contains information that I have been keeping from the group, I can reduce my Facade by giving feedback to the group or group members concerning my reactions to what is going on in the group and inside of me. In this instance, I am giving feedback or disclosing myself in terms of my perceptions, feelings and opinions about things in myself and in others. Through this process the group knows where I stand and does not need to guess about or interpret what my behavior means. The more self-disclosure and feedback I give, the farther down I push the horizontal line.

GIVE

FEEDBACK

A BS

F UYou will notice that while we are reducing our Blind Spots and Facades through the process of giving and soliciting feedback, we are, at the same time, increasing the size of our Arena or public area.

In the process of giving and asking for feedback some people tend to do much more of one than the other, thereby creating an imbalance of these two behaviors. This imbalance may have consequences in terms of the individual's effectiveness in the group and group members' reactions to him/her. The size and shape of the Arena therefore, is a function of both the amount of feedback shared and the ratio of giving versus soliciting feedback. In order to give you some idea of how to interpret windows, I would like to describe four different shapes which characterize extreme ratios in terms of soliciting and giving feedback. These descriptions will give you some idea of how people, characterized by these windows, might appear to others in a group setting.

Section 6 37


A BSA BS

A BSA BS

F U F UF U F U

1 2 3 4

Number 1 is an "Ideal Window” in a group situation or in any other relationship that is significant to the person. The size of the Arena increases as the level of trust in the group Increases and the norms that have been developed for giving and receiving feedback facilitate this kind of exchange. The large Arena suggests that much of the person's behavior is aboveboard and open to other group members. As a consequence, there is less tendency for other members to interpret (or misinterpret) or project more personal meanings into the person's behavior. Very little guesswork is needed to understand what the person is trying to do or communicate when his/her interactions are open both in terms of soliciting and giving feedback. It is not necessary, however, to have a large Arena with everybody. The persons with whom you have casual acquaintances may see this kind of openness as threatening or inappropriate in terms of the kinds of relationships you have with them. It is important to note, however, in your group or with some of your more significant relationships, that when most of your feelings, perceptions and opinions are public, neither person has to engage in game behavior.

The large Facade in window number 2 suggests a person whose characteristic participation style is to ask questions of the group, but not to give information or feedback. Thus the size of the Facade is inversely related to the amount of information or feedback flowing out from the individual. He/she responds to the group norm to maintain a reasonable level of participation, however, by soliciting information. Many of his/her interventions are in the form of, "What do you think about this?' "How would you have acted if you were in my shoes?" "How do you feel about what I just said?" "What is your opinion about the group?' He/she wants to know where other people stand before he/she commits himself/herself. You will notice that his/her "soliciting feedback" arrow is long, whereas his/her "giving feedback" arrow is short. Since this person is not committed in the group, it is hard to know where he/she stands on issues. At some point in the group's history, other members may confront him/her with a statement similar to "Hey, you are always asking me how I feel about what's going on, but you never tell me how you feel." This style, characterized as the "Interviewer," may eventually evoke reactions of irritation, distrust and withholding.

Window number 3 has a large Blind Spot. This person maintains his/her level of interaction primarily by giving feedback, but soliciting very little. His/her participation style is to tell the group what he/she thinks of them, how he/she feels about what is going on in the group and where he/she stands on group issues. Sometimes the person may lash out at group members or criticize the group as a whole, believing that he/she is being open and aboveboard. For one reason or other, however, the person either appears to be insensitive to the feedback given or does not hear what group members say. He/she may either be a poor listener or he/she may respond to feedback, e.g., gets angry, cries, threatens to leave. As a consequence, the person does not know how he/she is coming across to other people or what his/her impact is on them. Because the person does not appear to utilize the corrective function (reality) of group feedback, many of his/her reactions or self disclosures appear out of touch, evasive or distorted. The result of this one-way communication (from the person to others) is that he/she persists in behaving ineffectively. Since the person is insensitive to the steering function of the group, he/she does not know what behaviors to change. His/her "soliciting feedback" arrow is very short while his/her "giving feedback" arrow is long. This style of interaction comes across as a "Bull-in-the-China-Shop."

Section 6 38

The Johari Window: A Model for Soliciting and Giving Feedback

The last window, having the large Unknown, represents the person who does not know much about himself/herself, nor does the group know much about him/her. The person may be the silent member or the "observer" in the group who neither gives nor asks for feedback. As you can see in window number 4, the "soliciting" and "giving feedback" arrows are very short. He/she is the mystery person in the group because it is difficult for group members to know where this person stands in the group or where they stand with him/her. The person appears to have a shell which insulates him/her from other group members. When confronted about this lack of participation. he/she may respond with. "I learn more by listening." Group members who are not actively involved in the group or who do not participate get very little feedback because they do not provide the group with any data to which they can react. The person who is very active in the group exposes more facets of himself/herself and provides the group members with more information about which they can give feedback. While this kind of exchange may cause the active participant some discomfort, he/she learns considerably more than the low participant who does not give or solicit feedback. The person characterizing this window is called the "Turtle" because his/her shell keeps people from getting in and himself/herself from getting out It takes a considerable amount of energy to maintain an Arena this small in a group situation because of the pressure which group norms exert against this kind of behavior. Energy channeled in maintaining a closed system is not available for self-exploration and personal growth.

The goal of soliciting feedback and self-disclosure or giving feedback is to move information from the Blind Spot and the Facade into the Arena, where it is available to everyone. In addition, through the process of giving and receiving feedback, new information can move from the Unknown into the Arena. A person may have an "aha' experience when he/she suddenly perceives a relationship between a here-and-now transaction in the group and some previous event. Movement of information from the Unknown Into the Arena can be called "insight" or "inspiration."

It is not an easy task to give feedback in such a way that it can be received without threat to the other person. This technique requires practice in developing sensitivity to other people's needs and being able to put oneself in other people's shoes. Some people feel that giving and receiving feedback cannot be learned solely by practice, but requires a basic philosophy or set of values which must first be learned. These basic philosophy is that the individual be accepting of himself/herself and others. As this acceptance of self and others increases, the need to give feedback which can be construed as evaluative or Judgmental decreases.

Submitted by:

Phillip c. Hansom, The 1973 Annual Handbook For Group Facilitators.

Section 6 39


Goals:

1. To describe open and closed behavior in terms of the Johari Window.

2. To identify facilitating and inhibiting forces which affect the exchange of feedback.

3. To encourage the development of increased open behavior in the group through facilitated feedback.

Group size: 8 to 12: Several groups may be directed simultaneously.

Time required: Approximately two and one-half hours.

Materials:

1. Newsprint, felt-tipped markers and masking tape.

2. Johari Window Self-Rating Sheets

3. Pencils

4. Johari Window Model (Optional)

Physical setting:

A room large enough to accommodate the group or groups and to allow them to locate themselves in subgroups comfortably and with minimal noise distractions.

Process:

1. The facilitator begins with a lecturette to the total group on giving and receiving feedback, using the Johari Window Model. (He/she may furnish handouts of the Johari Window Model or may choose to illustrate it on newsprint.) Central to the lecturette, the facilitator will emphasize how decreasing the “Blind Spot” or the area unknown to self and decreasing the “Façade” or the area unknown to others will increase the “Arena” or the area known to everyone, thereby fostering openness. (The Johari Window: A Model for Soliciting and Giving Feedback in the Lecturettes Section of The 1973 Annual is excellent for this purpose, Pages 114-119.)

2. The facilitator distributes the Johari Window Self-Rating Sheets.

3. He/She suggests that one goal participants may have in a group setting is that of discovering data about themselves that they were previously unaware of, i.e., “decreasing the Blind Spot.” The only way they may do this is through the process of receiving feedback which meets both soliciting feedback and being receptive to it when they receive it.

In terms of the Johari Window Model, the vertical line will move to the right as the “Blind Spot” is decreased.

Section 6 40


4. The facilitator will illustrate the decreasing “Blind Spot” on newsprint using the following model:

A BS

F U

This and each newsprint illustration will be posted at the front of the room with masking tape for later reference.

5. The facilitator asks the participants to look at their Self-Rating sheets. He/she points out that a scale from one to nine describing the extent to which a person solicits feedback runs across the top of the sheet. He/she asks them to think back upon their last group meeting(s) and think of the times during that meeting when they felt curious about how they were being perceived by other group members. He/she asks how many times they wanted to know how other group members were feeling about them and how they were coming across to the group.

6. The facilitator asks participants to look at the scale across the top of the blank window again to find a location on that scale that describes the extent to which they actually solicited feedback in that group session. He/she emphasizes that they are not rating how many times they felt the need for feedback, but how many times they actually asked for it He/she tells them to draw a vertical line to the bottom of the window from the point they have located on the top scale.

7. The facilitator suggests that another goal they may have in the group setting is that of becoming more open by disclosing some of the data which they have kept from the group or giving feedback to others, i.e., decreasing the "facade." The facilitator illustrates how the horizontal line drops when the "facade" is decreased.

A BS

F U

Section 6 41


8. The facilitator tells the group to notice how as the "Blind Spot" and "Facade" decreases, the "Arena", or openness to others, increases. He/she then asks them to look at their Johari Rating Sheets again and notice on the left-hand margin a scale running from one to nine, measuring the extent to which a person discloses himself/herself or gives feedback to the group. He/she asked them to think back again on their last group meeting(s). and remember how many times during that group session they felt the need to give feedback to other group members, express their own feelings and perceptions about themselves, or take a stand on group Issues.

9. The facilitator asks them to locate on the scale at the left-hand margin the extent to which they actually gave feedback or disclosed themselves to the group. He/she emphasizes that they are to rate only the extent to which they actually gave feedback not how many times they felt like doing so. When they have located the position on the scale they are to draw a horizontal line across the window pane.

10. At this point the facilitator will illustrate the use of the Johari Window by interpreting variously constructed windows. (Material and illustrations of the "ideal" window, the "interviewer". the Bull in the China Shop" and the "Turtle" may again be found in the lecturette on The Johari Window: A Model for Soliciting and Giving Feedback in the 1973 Annual. pages 114-119.)

11. The group or groups will now be divided into triads and/or quatrads depending upon the size of the group.

12. The facilitator asks the participants to take 20 to 30 minutes to share their windows with their subgroups. They are to ask for feedback from members of their subgroups as to how they would have rated individuals in terms of soliciting and giving feedback, thus comparing self-ratings with other's perceptions. When this exchange is complete, they are to begin to identify the forces in their groups which make it easy or difficult to solicit or give feedback. As a subgroup, they are to make a list of these facilitating and inhibiting forces, taking about 15 minutes to accomplish this task. The facilitator supplies newsprint and felt-tipped markers to each subgroup.

13. After approximately45 minutes, the facilitator asks the participants to rejoin their groups to share the information generated by the subgroups. He/she asks them to integrate the subgroup lists into a final list of forces and in this process discuss what steps the group wants to take in order to increase facilitating forces and decrease inhibiting forces affecting the feedback process. The facilitator may wish to suggest that participants make contracts with one another as a method of increasing the exchange of feedback.

Source:

The 1973 Annual Handbook For Group Facilitators.

Section 6 42

The Johari Window Model

Section 6 43

Johari WindowSelf-Rating Sheet

Section 6 44

Johari Window

Feedback0 50 100

Dis

clos

ure

50

100

Notes:

Section 6 45

Documents

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