4566_865_96_961_45_4-listening skills (1)

8/7/2019 4566_865_96_961_45_4-listening skills (1)

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The Art of Listening

MODULE-2


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We are interested in others only

when they are interested in us

Publilius Syrus, Roman Poet


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The best, easiest and most effective way of

showing interest is:

To listen to what they aresaying

Really listen,

Focusing on what they aresaying,

As opposed to planning our

own reposts and anecdotes


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Most people hear withoutlistening

Leonardo da Vinci


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As seen in table below, listening is learned first and used

most, but taught least.

Comm. (Order

Learnt)

ExtentUsed Extent

Taught

Listening 1st 1st (45%) 4th

Speaking 2nd 2nd

(35%) 3rd

Reading 3rd 3rd (16%) 2nd

Writing 4th 4th (9%) 1st


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Why is Listening Important?

Amount of time devoted to it:

80% of each day engaged

communicating

50% of our communication time in a

listening role

for students, time spent listening inclass is 90%

A critical factor in the accomplishment

of personal and professional goals.


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Meaning

Listening is with the Mind

Hearing with the Senses

Listening is Conscious. An Active Process of Eliciting Information

Ideas, Attitudes and Emotions

Interpersonal, Oral Exchange


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WHAT IS EFFECTIVE

LISTENING? Effectivecommunicationexists

betweentwo peoplewhenthereceiver

interpretsandunderstandsthe

senders messageinthewaythe

speakerintendedit.

Active Listening presumes: You are

important to me and I understand andaccept all as true:

What you think What you need

How you feel What you want


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7 types of NONLISTENING:

(DIPS) Pseudo listening pretending to listen but actually

thinking about something else

Selective listening-when you only listen to the things

you want to hear.

Defensive listening-Defensive listening is whenpeople take innocent comments as personal attacks.

Insensitive Listening-these type of listeners take the

speakers' words at face value - they don't take intoconsideration the words not being spoken andbehavior being exhibited that perhaps the speaker iscommunicating more than the words that are actuallyspoken


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Approachesto Listening- ac2IRD

InformativeListening

Vocabulary

Concentration

MemoryRelationship Listening

Attending

Supporting

Empathizing

AppreciativeListening

Presentation

Perception

Previousexperience

DiscriminativeListening-differencebetweendifferencesoundsisidentified ,to distinguish onesoundfrom all theothers. Stoppingworkto determinewhetherthe phoneisringingisanexample

ComprehensiveListening-understandingaspeaker's messageintotality

Critical Listening-listeningin ordertoevaluateand judge, forming opinionaboutwhatis beingsaid

ActiveListening-Active listeningisalsocalledemphathic listening. Thiskind of

listeninggoes beyond just payingattention or listeningcritically. Itinvolvesanexpressionthattellsthespeakerthatthe listenersare beingattentiveandarefollowinghim/ her


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ResultsResults--style:style: Interested in thebottom line or result of a message.

ReasonsReasons--style:style: Interested inhearing the rationale behind amessage.

ProcessProcess--style:style: Likes to discussissues in detail.

Listening StylesListening Styles


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Fallacies about Listening

Listeningisnot my problem!

Listeningandhearingarethesame

Goodreadersaregood listeners

Smarterpeopleare better listeners

Listeningimproveswithage Learning not to listen

Thinkingabout what weare going to sayratherthan listening to a

speaker

Talking when weshouldbelistening

Hearing what weexpect to hearratherthan what isactuallysaid Notpayingattention

(preoccupation, prejudice, self-centeredness, stero-type)

Listeningskillsaredifficultto learn


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Bad Listening Habits

1. Pretending to pay attention when you are not2. Trying to do other things while listening

3. Deciding the subject is uninteresting

4. Getting distracted by the speakers way of speech, or other

mannerisms

5. Getting over-involved and thus losing the main thread of the argumentsor thoughts

6. Letting emotion-filled words arouse personal anger and antagonism

7. Concentrating on any distractions instead of what is being said

8. Taking linear, one-color notes

9. Listening primarily for facts

10. Avoiding anything that is complex or difficult


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LISTENERS PROFILEACTIVE LISTENERS

Maintain full andundivided attention

Listen to the wholeperson-their words their

feelings and behavior Listen to the whole

message openly andobjectively

Ask questions to clarifyand check understanding

Direct their response towhat has been said

POOR LISTENERS

Allow themselves to bedistracted by other peopleor environmental noise

Listen only to the wordsthey hear

Form judgments about theperson before theycomplete the message

Make assumptions when

they dont understand thespeaker

Respond by giving theirown opinion or relatingtheir experiences


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Keys to EffectiveKeys to EffectiveListeningListening

The Bad ListenerThe Bad Listener The Good ListenerThe Good Listener

1. Capitalize on thoughtspeed

Tends to daydream Stays with the speaker,mentally summarizes thespeaker, weighsevidence, and listensbetween the lines

2. Listen for ideas Listens for facts Listens forcentral oroverall ideas

3. Find an area of interest Tunes out dryspeakers orsubjects

Listens for any usefulinformation

4. Judgecontent,not

delivery

Tunes out dry monotonespeakers

Assessescontent bylistening to entiremessagebefore making

judgments

5. Hold your fire Gets too emotional orworked up bysomethingsaid by thespeaker andenters into an argument

Withholdsjudgmentuntil comprehension iscomplete

The Keys to Effective ListeningThe Keys to Effective Listening


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12-9b

Table12-2

Keys to EffectiveKeys to EffectiveListeningListening

The Bad ListenerThe Bad Listener The Good ListenerThe Good Listener

6. Work at listening Doesnot expend energyon listening

Gives thespeaker fullattention

7. Resist Distractions Iseasily distracted Fights distractions andconcentrates on the

speaker

8. Hearwhat issaid Shuts our or deniesunfavorable information

Listens to both favorableand unfavorableinformation

9. Challengeyourself Resists listening to

presentations of difficultsubject manner

Treatscomplex

presentations asexercises for the mind

10. Use handouts,overheads,

or other visual aids

Doesnot takenotes orpay attention to visualaids

Takesnotes asrequiredand uses visual aids toenhance understandingof the presentation

The Keys to Effective Listening (cont)The Keys to Effective Listening (cont)


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Stages oftheListening

Process Hearing

Focusing on the message

Comprehending and interpreting Analyzing and Evaluating

Responding

Remembering


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Active Listening

Listening is not a passiveactivity

It is not the unexciting or

unflamboyant part of theconversation

Listening well is the vitalingredient in a successful,

productive and interestingconversation


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Benefits ofActive

Listening Respect

Trust

Productivity Accuracy

Enhances our Relationships

Conflict Resolution Cultivates Positive Work Environment


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Benefits ofActiveListening

Wins Friends

Learning

Confidence Innovative Solutions

Reduces Negative Assumptions


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You must listen not only

to a persons words,

You must be aware of the other persons body language

as well.

This way, we can listen to what they feelas well as what

they say.


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Importance ofListeningto Non-

Verbal

Much is communicated that isnt verbalized even when an individual is not talking, he/she isstill communicating in some manner.

The skilled listener hears more than thespeakers voice:

pitch, rate, subtle variations

face color & how it changes; movement of

lips, mouth, cheeks, eyebrows Become aware of expressions that convey

tension, doubt, trust, inattention, and so forth.


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Be Aware ofBody Language

Listening to the words spoken as well asthe body language will make you a wholerather than a part listener

Be aware of your own body language too

Your own body-language part in the

conversation will also have a significantimpact on you and your perceptions.

If you are bored, and act bored, yourspeaker will become even boring!

If you are bored, and act more interested,

the speaker will become more interesting It is you who helps create the dullness orexcitement of whatever you are listeningto.


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The Eyes Have It!

Eye contact is the fundamental part of

establishing and showing interest and yet I

is often neglected.

It does not mean that you should not stare

into the the other persons eyes for theentire course pf the conversation.

A warm glance every so often will indicate

that you are still interested in the

conversation, and therefore interested in

the other person.


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Positive non-verbal; actions include:

M

aintain eye contact. Nod your head to convey that you are listening or that

you agree.

Smile and show interest.

Lean forward to show the speaker you

are interested.

Use a tone of voice that matches your message

Skills and BestPractices: Advice toSkills and BestPractices: Advice toImprove Nonverbal CommunicationImprove Nonverbal Communication

SkillsSkills


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Barriersto ActiveListening

Environmental barriers

Physiological barriers

Psychological barriers Selective Listening

Negative Listening Attitudes

Personal Reactions Poor Motivation


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Barriersto EffectiveListening

Hearing what you want to hear

Biased listening

Hot Buttons or the Effects of Emotionson Listening

Physical Barriers

Semantic Barriers Lack of Training


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Barriersto EffectiveListening

External Barriers

Talker not speaking loudly enough

Talkers mannerisms, appearance Loud noises

Room temperature (too hot / too cold)

Interruptions, phone calls

Fidgeting / Clock watching

Time pressure, deadline


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TheListening Process

Complete listening takes place in four steps. The four steps areperception, interpretation, evaluation, and action. Interpretationinvolves interpreting and decoding heard messages. Evaluationinvolves separating facts from opinions objectively. Action involves

retaining, reacting, or providing feedback.

Barriersto Listening

There are two possible types of barriers that hamper the listeningprocess: mental and/or physical. Mental barriers include inattention,

prejudgment, frame of reference, closed-mindedness, and pseudolistening. Physical barriers include hearing impairments, noisysurroundings, speakers appearance, speakers mannerisms, andlag time.


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Howto BeanEffective

Listener What You ThinkaboutListening?

Understand the complexities oflisteningPrepare to listen

Adjust to thesituation

Focus on ideas orkeypoints

Capitalize on thespeed differential

Organizematerialforlearning


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Howto BeanEffective

Listener(cont.) What YouFeel aboutListening?

Want to listenDelayjudgment

Admityourbiases

Dont tune out drysubjectsAcceptresponsibilityforunderstanding

Encourage others to talk


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Howto BeanEffective

Listener(cont.) What YouDo aboutListening?

Establish eye contact with thespeakerTake noteseffectively

Beaphysicallyinvolvedlistener

Avoid negativemannerismsExerciseyourlisteningmuscles

Follow the Golden Rule


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THE TEN COMMANDMENTS

KEITH

DA

VIS Stop talking. Put the talker at ease.

Show him that you want to listen.

Remove distractions. Empathize with him.

Be patient.

Hold your temper.

Go easy on arguments and criticism. Ask questions.

Stop talking!


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Methodsto ImproveEffective

Listening Skills Listenwithunderstanding;non-judgmentally & non-

critically

Refrainfrom solvingthetalkers problems ordoingthe personsthinkingforhim orher. Dontgive

advice. Timeyourresponsesand questions

Maintaineyecontact

Facethe personwithan open, relaxed posture

Acknowledgethespeaker bynodding, leaningforward, makingfacial expressionsthat matchthetalkersfeelings


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Tune-in andTrain Your Mind to Focus

Focus on what you want not what you dont want

If you think about how muchthe distractions areinterfering with youconcentration, you willmagnify them, and they willinterfere all the more!

If you increasingly focus onwho and what you arelistening to, you will magnifythat sound and fade tonothingness all the

background noise.

Play listening games inyour daily life. When youare out walking, tune-in tothe different soundstations around you thebird channel, the humanvoice channel, the trafficchannel, the rain channel,and so on.

Try to isolate only thosesounds you want to hear;you will become adept atfiltering out unwantednoise.

You will strengthen yourlistening skills and gain amuch wider and greaterappreciation of thesurround-sound world inwhich you live.


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The 2:1 Ratio

Remember that

you have two

ears and one

mouth not the

other way

around!

Next time you are

in an appropriate

social situation,

try to listening for

twice as long as

you speak.

Your Social

Intelligence will

receive a big boost if

you manage this. Thewiserthe

personthe lessthey

speakandthe more

they listen.


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Listen With an Open Mind

It is very easy to get distracted

by words that trigger negative

emotions.

They are only words, and try tolook at them more objectively.

By developing your listening

skills, you can relate to others

and understand them far more

fully than if you get tangled up in

emotional disagreements.


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Use YourBrain Speed

Your brain can think at between 4

and 10 times the speed of speech.

This means that when you are

listening, you have lots of sparetime to use your extra brain time.

Think on your feet, and pay

attention to the persons body

language, listening to meaning

between the lines.


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Judge Content, Not Delivery

Focus on content of what is being

said.

Try not to criticize and negatively

judge any inadequacies in delivery

and style the speaker might have.

Your negativity will see shown in

your body language and will bepicked up by others around you.

Concentrate on the content.


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Listen For the Big Ideas

Many people listen only for facts

and end up not being able to

see the wood for the trees.

Listen for the big themes, andyou will feel more confident and

stress free.

You will also much more readily

be able to slot the facts into theirappropriate places, like pieces

of a jig-saw puzzle, and

understand the conversation

more easily.


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Social Brain Boosters

All my listening skills are

improving

I am listening with an open mind

I am increasingly interested in all

subjects.

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4566_865_96_961_45_4-listening skills (1)