204_Collins Email New

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Breakout Session #204

Po Collins, CPCM, C.P.M., Fellow

Senior Manager, Contracts

Raytheon Company

24 April 2007

10:45 a.m.

Effective BusinessCommunications


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When I finished school, I took oneof those career aptitude tests, and

based on my verbal ability score,

they suggested I become a mime.

- Tim Cavanagh, Comedian


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The Case for Effective Communications

What Happens when Youre Misunderstood? Answer more phone calls

Write more explanatory emails and letters

Make explanatory documents/white papers

Litigate

Effective communication means you will:

Write with more impact

Get better results

Provide better service


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Effective Communication in

Todays Changing World

Plain Language

Writing Pointers E-mail vs. phone

Useful Web Sites


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The Benefits of Plain Language

Reaches people who do not read well, or who

do not have time to read well

Helps all readers understand information

Avoids misunderstanding and errors

Saves time, because it gets the job done well

the first time


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You Know Youve Used Plain

Language if

Readers can:

Find what they need Understand what they read

Use what they read


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What Is Plain Language?

1. Write Like You Talk

2. Common words

3. Short sentences

4. Active voice

5. Easy-to-read layout

6. Logical organization

Writing Pointers:


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1. Write Like You Talk

Use you and other pronouns

Avoid artificial language

Sound like yourself


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1. Write Like You Talk - Pronouns

Without pronouns:To establish eligibility for a grant, an applicant

must show that the applicant is a NativeAmerican and that the present housing of the

applicant is substandard and inadequate.

With pronouns:

To establish eligibility for a grant, you must showthat you are a Native American and that yourpresent housing is substandard andinadequate.


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1. Write Like You Talk: CautionCaution

Avoid regional dialects and expressions

Use complete sentences

Spoken English is sloppy

Written English requires more

care than spoken English


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2. Choose Common Words

I never use a word like metropolis when I

can get the same price forcity.

- Mark Twain


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2. Common Words

Prefer the plain word to the fancy

Use familiar words

Avoid jargon


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2. Common Words

Prefer the Plain Word to the Fancy

Instead of:

accomplish

ascertainendeavor

facilitate

formulate

optimumutilize

Use:

do

find outtry

help

form

bestuse


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2. Common Words

A Case for Short, Familiar Words:

In the Lords Prayer, there are 66 words - 48 are

of one syllable (72%)

In All the Worlds a Stage (ShakespearesAs

You Like It), there are 212 words - 150 are of one

syllable (70%)

In Abraham Lincolns Gettysburg Address, thereare 268 words - 196 are of one syllable (73%)


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2. Common Words

Use familiar words

Dont camouflage words

If Spell Check doesnt like it, theres a

good reason

Adapt your word choice to your reader


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2. Common Words

Use Picture Nouns and Action Verbs

Select words with the right strength and vigor

Select words for precise meanings

Verbs are the strongest words, nouns are

second

Adjectives and adverbs areweak words


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2. Common Words: House


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2. Common Words

Noah Webster on the Precision of Words:

Websters wife caught him in the act ofembracing the chambermaid.

Noah, she said, I am surprised!

Mr. Webster gazed upon her in mild reproof.

No, my dear, he replied, you are amazed. It is

we who are surprised.


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2. Common Words

Avoid Jargon and Acronyms

Acronyms and abbreviations must be defined

Legal jargon is archaic

Explain technical words

Avoid trendy buzzwords


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3. Short Sentences

Cut Out Unnecessary Words

Avoid cluttering phrases

Cut out surplus words

Avoid roundabout construction


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3. Short Sentences

Instead of:

At the present timeFor the purpose of

In very few cases

With regard to

Use:

NowFor

Seldom

About

Cluttering phrases:


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3. Short Sentences

Cluttering phrasesInstead of:

It will be noted that the records for the past

years show a steady increase in specialappropriations.

Try this:

The records for past years show a steadyincrease in special appropriations.


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3. Short Sentences

Avoid roundabout construction

Instead of:

Reference is made to your May 10 report in

which you concluded that the warranty isworthless.

Try this:

Your May 10 report concluded that thewarranty is worthless.


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4. Active Voice

It emphasizes the action

Its stronger and shorter than passive

voice

Avoid passive voice


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4. Active Voice

The test was performed.

or

ABC performed the test.


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4. Active Voice

When passive voice is appropriate:

When you want to avoid accusing the

reader

When the performer of the action is not

known


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5. Easy-to-Read Layout

Keep Paragraphs Short

Use white space

Separate topics into paragraphs

Use lists and tables


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6. Logical Organization

Know your audience

Write to be understood

Avoid ambiguity


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Know Your Audience

Write to everyone who is interested

Engage your reader

Anticipate the readers questions

Organize to meet your readers needs


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Write to be Understood - Not to Impress

Dont be arrogant

Business communications should seek onlyto communicate

Provide enough information for your reader to

take action


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Avoid Ambiguity

I was confused by an ad that read: Why go

elsewhere to be cheated! You can trust usto do the job.

- Steve Strosser, The Peter Plan


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Avoid Ambiguity

Carefully place your words

Dont camouflage words

Use clear pronouns

Avoid double negatives


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Avoid AmbiguityAmbiguous Insurance Claim Statements

The guy was all over the road. I had to swerve anumber of times before I hit him.

I had been driving for 40 years, when I fell asleepcausing the accident.

In my attempt to kill a fly, I drove into a telephone pole.

I was on my way to the doctor with rear end trouble -when my universal joint gave way causing me to havean accident.


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Email vs. the Phone

Do you need to have a dialogue rather than simply

convey information?

Do you need a written record of the conversation?

Is negotiation involved or necessary to the

outcome?

Is the topic complicated? Does it need in-depthexplanation?

Do you need an immediate response?

How important are emotions to the communication?

Is the communication sensitive or proprietary?PhoneEmailSituation


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Email Pointers

Start with a salutation. Ask for a response.

Use Spell Check & proof read.

Treat it like a business letter.

Avoid emoticons & Internet abbreviations

Create a professional signature at the endof the email that includes your name,professional title, business name, phonenumber, and email address.


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Email

It pays to proofread!

2gay sounds good - all of it. I'll are you Wed at

lunch. And yes, you had told me about theNew Year's reservation, but it's worth

repeating. We always enjoy desert at your

place! I'll have a but of nwa to share at lunch.

Loplung forward to seeing you then!


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Using these tips will help you:

Reach people who do not read well, or who do nothave time to read well

Help all readers understand information

Avoid misunderstanding and errors

Save time, because it gets the job done well the first

time

Write with more impact

Get better results

Provide better service


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Presentation Resources

Writing pointers:

http://www.writerswrite.com/journal/sep02/srikanth.htm

http://owl.english.purdue.edu/owl/

http:// www.writingthatworks.com

Guide for Government:

www.plainlanguage.gov

Documents

204_Collins Email New