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T H A B O M B ! FINAL ISSUE - 24 JUNE

Back at Last Tricky's Latest

Album Reviewed

Colour

Extravaganza

Union Ends in Farce MARK BAKER

Last Friday, the Annual General

Meet ing of Imperial College

Union was was dramatical ly

interrupted by student Andy

Southern, who halted the meet­

ing as less than 200 students

were present. The normally sedate

affair at w h i c h the annual report is

a p p r o v e d , officers are e lec ted for

the next a c a d e m i c year and the

s tudent b o d y is given an o p p o r t u ­

ni ty to q u i z their e l e c t e d

Sabbaticals w a s d o g g e d wi th prob­

lems f r o m the start. Due to a major

event in Beit Q u a d - the A n d e r s e n

C o n s u l t i n g Pit S t o p Chal lenge - the

venue h a d to be changed to the

U n i o n D i n i n g H a l l at the last

minute , leaving s o m e at tendees

c o n f u s e d .

The m e e t i n g initially p r o c e e d ­

e d normally, w i t h Natasha N e w t o n

re -e lec ted u n o p p o s e d of a c c o m ­

m o d a t i o n officer. The pos i t ion of

c o u n c i l chair, a lso chair of the

p o w e r f u l e x e c u t i v e c o m m i t t e e ,

went to A n d y King after e x - I C U

President Eric A l l s o p w i t h d r e w his

c a n d i d a c y . After m u c h d iscuss ion

o n tui t ion fees, S i m o n Lewis was

e l e c t e d as Equal O p p o r t u n i t i e s

Off icer . There were no candidates

for the posts of R A G Chair and

Transport Off icer , and so these

c o u l d not be e l e c t e d at the

meet ing .

Rene Frank, a B i o c h e m i s t r y

Postgraduate , w a s the only c a n d i ­

date for Wel fare Off icer and f ie ld­

e d a barrage of quest ions . Before

the m e e t i n g c o u l d m o v e to a vote ,

A n d y S o u t h e r n , a M e c h a n i c a l

E n g i n e e r i n g s t u d e n t , s h o u t e d

" Q u o r u m ! " and so forced the c lo ­

sure of the meet ing , as a r o u n d 6 0

s tudents were in at tendance rather

t h a n the r e q u i r e d 2 0 0 . M r

Southern 's act ions were evidently

u n p o p u l a r w i t h those w h o had

m a d e the effort to at tend, as a cry

of "You twat ! " and similar c o m ­

ments were v o i c e d .

In a letter to Felix explaining

the reasoning behind his act ions,

M r Southern stated that he d i d not

halt the m e e t i n g out of spi te ,

c l a i m i n g "I d o not hate the union ,

or resent i t . " Instead he insisted

that the m e e t i n g had to c lose " in

the interests of the s tudent b o d y "

as there were not enough p e o p l e

present . M r Southern c i t e d insuffi­

cient publicity as be ing the chief

cause of the lack of s tudent inter­

est, laying the blame squarely at

the feet of the m e m b e r s of C o u n c i l .

"They d o n ' t w a n t s t u d e n t s to

attend the A G M , " he wrote , before

g o i n g o n to suggest that sabbati­

ca l ' s p e r f o r m a n c e w o u l d be

i m p r o v e d if their a c t i o n s w e r e

q u e s t i o n e d m o r e of ten .

In r e s p o n s e , I C U P r e s i d e n t

A n d r e w H e e p s said "publ ic i ty for

the A G M was put up a r o u n d the

walkway and the U n i o n o n the

M o n d a y ; h o w e v e r m e m b e r s o f

C o u n c i l have had the date s ince

N o v e m b e r , therefore having the

informat ion to pass to their c o n ­

st i tuencies . " To the c la im that he

had not d o n e e n o u g h to publicise

the A G M , M r H e e p s c o m m e n t e d

that " it is imposs ib le for us to g o

into every lecture theatre, and the

JCR to r e m i n d p e o p l e about the

A G M . " H o w e v e r he d i d not think

that it w a s a tota l failure, as "8

t imes as m a n y m o r e p e o p l e turned

up this year than last ." Indicating

that the m o n t h s in off ice have not

yet s t r i p p e d h i m of his humour , to

public ise the next A G M he said

"perhaps I s h o u l d g o to the t o p of

the Q u e e n ' s T o w e r , a n d shout

about i t . "

The r e s c h e d u l e d A G M takes

place t o d a y at 12 :30 in d B s . The

f o l l o w i n g p o s t s wi l l be e lec ted ;

Wel fare Off icer , Transport Off icer

and R A G Chair . A n y o n e interested

in s t a n d i n g for thes e p o s i t i o n s

s h o u l d sign u p o p p o s i t e the U n i o n

Of f i ce in Beit Q u a d . The presenta­

t i o n a n d a p p r o v a l o f the I C U

A n n u a l Report wi l l a lso occur at the

A G M this Friday luncht ime. A l l are

very w e l c o m e to a t tend .

The full le t ter f r o m A n d y

Southern c a n be read at the Felix

w e b site - www.su.ic .ac.uk/Felix/

Last Friday afternoon,

Beit Quad was livened up

by the appearence of a

Williams-Renault Formula

One car. Students were

challenged to perform the

fastest wheel change. It

was won jointly, at 14.22

seconds.

Photos: David Roberts

NEWS � � ��e ���8

e Cash s

for BMS s � ��� THOMSON

IC Estates Department is giving

out cash bonuses to construction

team supervisors in a bid to get

the Bio-medical Building complet­

ed in time.

A weekly prize of £ 2 0 0 is being

handed over to the best foreman,

as judged by a panel cons is t ing of

representatives f r o m Estates and

Schal , the m a i n contractors . A fur­

ther £ 1 0 0 0 a w e e k is be ing set

aside t o w a r d a gigantic party o n 15

June, subject to workers attaining

weekly progress targets.

N o w in its f ifth w e e k , the

scheme is in tended to mot ivate

subcontrac tors w h o s e w o r k has

been repeatedly u n d o n e as m o r e

and m o r e changes to the original

design have b e c o m e necessary. So

far, £ 4 m has been spent o n alter­

ations, of ten forcing w o r k to be

r ipped out and replaced. "There's

been an inordinate a m o u n t of fit-

out adapt ions - 6 0 or 70 r o o m s

have been af fec ted" , expla ined Phil

Hi l ton , the project manager , "it is

demoral is ing and frustrating [for the

builders] s o see f inished, painted

and plastered r o o m s be ing r ipped

out . "

These alterations are pushing

the c o m p e t i o n date of the recently-

n a m e d Fleming bui lding back, leav­

i n g less a n d less t i m e for the

Biology and M e d i c a l departments

to m o v e in before te rm starts in

O c t o b e r . The p lanned hand-over

date has m o v e d f rom 13 Apri l to

"early A u g u s t " . Al though unable to

give a definate date, M r Hi l ton to ld

us that "we are contracted to have

the bui lding ready for undergradu­

ate teaching o n 1 October , and w e

w i l l " , a l though he d i d c o n c e e d that

it was gett ing "c lose" .

M o r e controversial is the fund­

ing for the s c h e m e . A c c o r d i n g to a

s o u r c e c l o se to the Estates

D e p a r t m e n t , the b o n u s e s w e r e

originally in tended to be £ 1500

cash, rather than £ 2 0 0 . H o w e v e r ,

there w a s " d e e p c o n c e r n " over

realeasing this money , and the c o l ­

lege auditors had to be contac ted .

M i k e H a n s e n , h o w e v e r ,

a p p e a r e d to be unaware of the

spending . "I k n o w that it was dis­

c u s s e d " , he sa id , "but 1 don ' t k n o w

any details . It's up to [lan] Caldwel l

and his t e a m to build the building,

and w e ' l l just let h i m get on wi th it ."

i Imperial Col lege U n i o n

Today, 1 2 . 3 0 p m . d B s . Your chance to:

Vote in off icers for next year

Q u i z your sabbatical off icers

•• • Preview the A n n u a l Report .

Everybody can turn u p a n d vote , so BE T H E R E !

s Dr in S UNCLE SAM

Students across the USA have

been staging protests and riots

last month over alcohol bans.

Tear gas w a s u s e d against a 3 0 0 0 -

strong g r o u p in M i t c h i g a n , w h o

pel ted p o l i c e after a l c o h o l w a s

banned at a football m a t c h .

The legal d r i n k i n g age in

A m e r i c a is 21 - a rule w h i c h is be ing

enforced wi th increasing vigilance

by c a m p u s pol ice . S o m e universi­

ties have e v e n b a n n e d dr ink ing

altogether.

Students caught o f fending are

likely to be arrested, not by the

State Pol ice , but by officers o n

c a m p u s . These security guards are

s w o r n - i n pol ice officers, and rou­

t inely carry 9 m m pis to l s . The

University of Cal i fornia (Los Angeles

Campus) has 75 such officers, but

San Diego University goes further;

officers carry back-up handguns,

and t w o patrol cars are fitted wi th

prominent shotgun-racks.

IC's o w n Chief Security Officer ,

Ken Weir , w h e n asked about the

possibil i ty of supplying w e a p o n s to

o f f i cers , s a i d " w e c o n s i d e r e d

batons a n d handcuffs , but realised

that there 'd be nowhere left o n the

belts to put the M a g n u m s . "

News in Brief...

T

DECLARE PARTY

Chris S m i t h , Secretary for Culture ,

has a n n o u n c e d an extra day ' s

national hol iday on 31 D e c e m b e r

1998. This means that there are

n o w four straight days across the

m i l l e n n i u m in w h i c h to celebrate

and recover, as M o n d a y 3 January

2 0 0 0 is also a bank hol iday.

S

A n e w stratagy o n m a n a g i n g

m e n i n g i t u s o u t b r e a k s w a s

released today by the C o m m i t t e e

of Vice -Chance l lors and Principles

(CVCP) . It encourages all universi­

ties to devise a strategy to deal

wi th the disease , w h i c h is t w o -

and-a-hal f t imes m o r e c o m m o n in

15-19 year o lds than the rest of

the po pula t io ns .

Its release fo l lows the d e c i ­

s ion by S o u t h a m p t o n University

to vaccinate all freshers this year,

after three s tudents d i e d there

last year.

N S

REVOLT

The Prime M i n s t e r faces a p o t e n ­

tially d a m a g i n g backbench revolt

next w e e k o v e r the p l a n s to

i m p o s e £ 1,000 tui t ion fees o n

s tudents . Labour M P s have held

meet ings to encourage suppor t

for what s o m e fear c o u l d be a

protest equal in s ize to the last

year 's rebell ion over cuts in bene­

fit to single mothers , where one

minister a n d four parl iamentary

private secretaries resigned a n d

4 7 Labour M P s v o t e d against the

G o v e r n m e n t .

Senior G o v e r n m e n t s o u r c e s

are anxious to avo id a repeat per­

f o r m a n c e , a n d , unti l n o w ,

b e l i e v e d that the E d u c a t i o n

Secre tary D a v i d B lunket t h a d

d o n e enough wi th a series of c o n ­

cess ions . O p p o s i t i o n , however , is

hardening against his T e a c h i n g

and Higher Educat ion Bill before

its final C o m m o n s stages early

next week .

Rebels c la im that the m o v e

flies in the face of Labour's s u p ­

port for free university educat ion

for al l .

W h e n a d d e d to p l a n s to

w i d e n t h e s y s t e m of s t u d e n t

loans, they fear s tudents wil l face

debts of m o r e than £ 1 3 , 0 0 0 after

they finish their degrees .

Y o u c a n read the bill in full at:

w w w . s u . ic.ac.uk/Felix/1 118/bill.html

TUBE E

CHAOS S

F o l l o w i n g an " o v e r w h e l m i n g " vote

by Tube m e m b e r s of the Rail

M a r i t i m e a n d Transport U n i o n ,

U n i o n l e a d e r s are t o d e c i d e

whether to order industrial act ion

a c r o s s L o n d o n U n d e r g r o u n d .

They are p r o t e s t i n g over the

Government ' s intention to part-

privatise the U n d e r g r o u n d sys tem

to raise b i l l ions of p o u n d s in

investment m o n e y . The leaders

a n n o u n c e d the i r d e c i s i o n last

night, after emergency sessions

all day yes terday.

S o m e staff wil l be transferred

to the pr ivate c o m p a n i e s and

w i d e s p r e a d job losses are feared.

Feelings are running high a m o n g

union off icials , w i t h s o m e press­

i n g for 4 8 - h o u r s t o p p a g e s .

Industrial ac t ion was backed by

2,471 m e m b e r s , w i t h 4 6 2 against

but only 4 9 per cent of m o r e than

6 , 0 0 0 eligible staff returned their

bal lot p a p e r s . D e s p i t e L o n d o n

U n d e r g r o u n d c la ims that Deputy

Pr ime M i n i s t e r John Prescott has

given assurances o n issues such

as pay a n d w o r k i n g hours , R M T

assistant general secretary Bob

C r o w s a i d : " W e have been trying

for m o n t h s to get the c o m p a n y to

discuss these issues but they have

r e f u s e d t o d o s o . " Industr ial

ac t ion by staff w o u l d seriously

disrupt rail services, and poten­

tially cause chaos .

N O R

O S Please note that the next issue,

the last of the t e r m , wil l be issued

o n W e d n e s d a y 24 June. If y o u

have any ideas or contributions,

please contact us as s o o n as pos­

s ib le , in the U n i o n R e s o u r c e

Centre .

� � �e ���8 NEWS

Ken Weale Dies JULIA HARRIES

Dr Ken Weale, a former Senior Treasurer of

Imperial College Union died in hospital of

pneumonia on the seventh of May. H e w a s

seventy-four years o l d . A keen s p o r t s m a n a n d a

wel l loved m e m b e r of co l lege , Dr W e a l e m a n ­

aged to c o m b i n e his var ious s p o r t i n g activit ies

wi th his dual roles as Senior Col lege Tutor a n d a

m e m b e r of the Col lege B o a r d of G o v e r n o r s .

Excelling at rugby, he w a s the s e c o n d President

of the Imperial Col lege Rugby Footbal l C lub , as

w e l l as p l a y i n g for I m p e r i a l C o l l e g e , t h e

University of L o n d o n a n d several O l d Boys

teams until w e l l into his fifties. A s wel l as this,

he also p layed cricket for bo th Imperial a n d

L o n d o n Universi ty, serving as the President of

the Imperial Col lege Cr icket C l u b for m a n y

years , w a s a k e e n b o x e r a n d a f o r m e r

Heavyweight B o x i n g C h a m p i o n of the Universi ty

of L o n d o n .

Born in W a l e s in 1923 , Dr W e a l e c o m p l e t e d

his first degree at the Univers i ty of A b e r y s t w y t h ,

c o m i n g to Imperial Co l lege as a Reader in the

Depar tment of C h e m i c a l of Engineer ing short ly

after the S e c o n d W o r l d W a r . A s Senior Col lege

Tutor, he l ived o n c a m p u s for over thirty years ,

and dur ing that t i m e b e c a m e heavily involved

Ken Weale; renouned for his energy and

enthusiasm. Photo: ����� �������w i t h s tudent affairs. A s a former W a r d e n of

F a l m o u t h - K e o u g h H a l l , he is c redi ted w i t h start­

ing s o m e of the hall 's earliest tradit ions, and in

a reminiscent m o o d w a s apt to tell the tale of

the e x p l o s i o n o n the O l d H o s t e l roof. H e w a s

a lways extremely p o p u l a r , hav ing as he d i d t ime

for absolute ly everyone . H e he ld the p o s i t i o n of

Senior Treasurer for twenty- f ive years , s h o w i n g

his interest in a n d d e d i c a t i o n to the u n i o n . It is

for this as w e l l as for his c o n c e r n a n d hard w o r k

that he wi l l be best r e m e m b e r e d .

A familiar figure in S o u t h s i d e Bar, Dr W e a l e

w a s also an act ive m e m b e r of all three of the

col lege elect ive soc ia l c lubs , the Links C l u b , the

' 22 C l u b a n d the C h a p s , a n d regularly s p o k e at

their d inners . Roger P o w n e l l , Souths ide Bar

M a n a g e r a n d current Pres ident of the ICRFC,

r e m e m b e r s h i m as " a really nice bloke, probably

the m o s t p r o m i n e n t p e r s o n Imperial Col lege has

ever h a d . H e w a s a lways smi l ing , had t ime for

everyone a n d w a s a really spec ia l p e r s o n . "

A m e m o r i a l service is to be he ld for h i m in

O c t o b e r , as wel l as a Rugby C l u b m e m o r i a l d i n ­

ner for all those w h o k n e w h i m w e l l , reflecting

his popular i ty in C o l l e g e . A s o n e of the leading

figures at Imperial Co l lege , he wi l l be greatly

m i s s e d by everyone w h o k n e w h i m or had dea l ­

ings w i t h h i m .

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Letters to Felix, USS SUCCESS

Dear Jeremy,

I w o u l d like to r e m i n d every­

b o d y about the 'Ethics for USS'

c a m p a i gn that Imperial got a taste

of at the beginning of the year .

'Ethics for U S S ' has rece ived

w i d e suppor t f r o m lecturers across

the c o u n t r y . The n a t i o n a l

Assoc ia t ion of University Teachers

(the largest lecturers union) has

n o w , a lmost unanimous ly p a s s e d a

m o t i o n in s u p p o r t of 'Ethics for

U S S ' and individual lecturer s u p p o r t

is g r o w i n g all the t ime .

The largest single investors o n

the stock exchange are the p e n s i o n

funds . U S S , the ' U n i v e r s i t y

S u p e r a n n u a t i o n S c h e m e ' invests

about 13.5 bil l ion p o u n d s a year in

industries a r o u n d the w o r l d . This

gives the pens ion fund investors

vast a m o u n t s of p o w e r a n d influ­

ence in the w a y that publ ic c o m p a ­

nies and mult inat ionals are run.

Ethics for USS is a c a m p a i g n

ca l l ing o n the U n i v e r s i t y

Superannuat ion S c h e m e to a d o p t

an 'Ethical investment Po l i cy ' . It

w o u l d currently be i m p o s s i b l e to

invest that m u c h m o n e y us ing any

trustworthy ethical investment cr i ­

teria, so the c a m p a i g n calls o n the

S u p e r a n n u a t i o n S c h e m e t o use

their influencial p o w e r to change

the o p e r a t i o n s o f u n s c r u p u l o u s

c o m p a n i e s in w h i c h they invest .

The greatest irony in the p e n ­

s ion s y s t e m is that the p e n s i o n of

every individual is invested o n the

s tock e x c h a n g e for m a x i m u m

return. In order to acheive m a x i ­

m u m return for their shareholders

(ie. Pens ion funds) , c o m p a n i e s are

m o r e l ikely to d i s r e g a r d the

E n v i r o n m e n t , a n d a n y t h i n g that

costs t h e m m o n e y s u c h as their

o w n e m p l o y e e s . Currently w e are

see ing the ' C o r p o r a t i s a t i o n ' of

Universi t ies w h i c h gives us less

choice over what w e research a n d

little say over what is d o n e w i t h our

work. This ' cyc l i c ' chain of events

m e a n s that unless e m p l o y e e s

(public and private) take a stance to

break the chain by invest ing their

pensions ethically, they are their

o w n v ic t ims .

A l t h o u g h i n v e s t i n g ' E t h i c a l l y '

inevitably m e a n s invest ing in s m a l l ­

er c o m p a n i e s , there is ev idence to

suggest that s p r e a d i n g m o n e y in

this w a y gives better return, apart

f rom w h i c h , U S S pens ions are guar­

anteed anyway, w h i c h m e a n s that

y o u can't d o yoursel f A N Y h a r m by

s uppo r t ing this vital c a m p a i g n .

For m o r e i n f o r m a t i o n , I a m

available at t . c . smi th@ic .ac .uk or

alternatively contact 'Third W o r l d

First' (contact detai ls below) to

pledge y o u r suppor t . At least t w e n ­

ty five IC lecturers already have.

Cheers

T o m Smith (Physics U G 2 )

HOUSE OF HELL V

Dear Felix

Fol lowing a rather nasty f lood

o n Tuesday, I have c o m p i l e d a list

of an t i - f lood precaut ions :

1. If y o u live in the t o p of a Victor ian

terraced house, m a k e sure the

landlord has the gutters c leaned

out regularly.

2. Not i fy your landlord if y o u see

w e t patches in the cei l ing after

heavy rain. Unless it is a hole in

the roof, then the gutters need

c leaning immedia te ly .

3 . If y o u are unlucky a n d water

d o e s c o m e in , y o u M U S T turn

the p o w e r off at the main fuse

STRAIGHT A W A Y as the water

w i l l c o m e t h r o u g h the light

fixings first.

4 . If the water is really pour ing in ,

y o u n e e d to make holes in the

cei l ing (with knife or a screw­

driver) everywhere that is wet .

W a t e r wil l gush out of these

h o l e s a n d m a k e a d r e a d f u l

mess , but if y o u don't then the

cei l ing wil l col lapse a n d make a

m u c h w o r s e mess .

5 . M o v e coursework and notes first

because everything else is cov­

ered by insurance.

6. M a k e sure everything is dry

(including the inside of sockets)

before turning the p o w e r o n .

If y o u are cons ider ing renting a

t o p floor flat, look at the cei l ing very

carefully. Ask about any staining or

loose wal lpaper near to outs ide

wal ls .

O t h e r clues are different types

of wal lpaper in the same r o o m or

only r o o m s a long one wall be ing

freshly pa in ted . Don't be fobbed off

by the landlord saying that it has

been sor ted out . It needs d o i n g

several t imes a year.

I k n o w this s e e m s like overkill

but had I not been in o n Tuesday

morning , I w o u l d have returned to

find m y books , notes and c o m p u t e r

ruined and w e t plaster over every­

thing. Even so , I still j u m p out of m y

skin at the s o u n d of running water!

Abigai l H o p s o n , C h e m 2

HASN'T A

CLUE

Sir,

W h y has ISIHAC (I'm sorry, I

haven't a clue) been p l a c e d as the

b o t t o m mark in last w e e k s m u s ic

sect ion? ISIHAC has been a popular

radio panel g a m e for a lmost 25

years . I w o u l d like to say it is as

funny today as it w a s 25 years ago,

but s ince I 'm only 20 , I can ' t really

c o m m e n t . It d o e s however have a

large l isenership, w h o regularly tune

in to hear the manic a n d of ten sur­

real g a m e s p layed by the panell ists .

ISIHAC regularly hosts talents

such as T i m Brook Taylor, Paul

M e r t o n and Samantha . O n e can

hear g a m e s such as the s imple , but

c o m p l e x s o u n d i n g ' O n e s o n g to the

tune of another ' , 'Guess the bar­

c o d e ' a n d of course the infamous

' M o r n i n g t o n Crescent ' ?

ISIHAC is an example of e c c e n ­

tric British h u m o u r at its best. It can

s tand alongside M o n t y Python and

Spike Mi l l igan as c o m e d y classics .

W i t h the surplus of m o n o t o n o u s

s i t c o ms a n d cheap A m e r i c a n tat o n

radio a n d TV, I feel that this f o r m of

cri t ic ism is u n f o u n d e d and to be

a v o i d e d . I h o p e that, in future, y o u

wil l s h o w m o r e respect for this

oasis of Britishness.

Ross N e w e l l

Shep M a i n 2

PS W h a t has Trans-cranial M a g n e t i c

St imulat ion got to d o wi th anything?

(This w a s the only reference to T M S

o n the B B C web-site)

Really, Ross, I rather think you're

being a bit uncharitable there, old

chap, what wi th that Sorry I

Haven't a Clue being, well , rather

pointless, what wi th al l that

Mornington Crescent nonsense,

Henry, and oh there's a number

24 going down the Kilburn Park

Road, I mean one never really

knows what they're talking about,

does one oh, that was a beautiful

googlie going down the off side

and Jack's tossed it to his man at

siliy-mid-off who lobs it to Gough

at long leg I mean to say, you

wouldn't catch us talking such

nonsense, Henry, i t 's rather

inane, that's all oh and there's a

troop of three pigeons wandering

rather languidly across the out­

field and a rather choco­

late cake has been thrust into my

hand etc etc...

s

FELIX '(()*+,-..

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I JKLe MNN8 NOTICES 8. EDITORIAL

nE21LPOEcL7OPQRS,L7 TU VWXS ^ B O r n l T

Please note that there will be no more full issues oi

Felix this term until the final issue on 24 June, due

to the Felix of/ice moving house. However, we will

issue a newsletter next Friday to keep yon

informed of the progress of the DP (F&S) election.

It you have any ideas or contributions for the final

issue of term, please come and see us in the Union

Resource Centre as soon as possible.

Thanks. Ed.

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TEL: 0171 937 6413 3 m i n u t e s f r o m H i g h St. K e n s i n g t o n & N o t t i n g H i l l Gate

Editorial O n e of the greatest causes of

h u m a n suffer ing, a n i m a l cruel ty

a n d e n v i r o n m e n t a l d e s t r u c t i o n

today is the pernic ious barrier that

has been erected be tween p e o p l e

and their m o n e y .

This may s e e m like a rather

s w e e p i n g statement , but let m e

explain . There are, a n d always wil l

be, p e o p l e so deeply selfish a n d

mercenary that they d o n ' t care

whether they are personal ly f u n d ­

ing and hence s u p p o r t i n g torture,

murder and war . These p e o p l e are

thankfully in the minori ty , and were

their act ions to be seen directly,

they w o u l d probably be branded as

'evi l ' by society. Yet, oppress ive

regimes thrive, mil l ions are exploi t ­

e d to the point of death and the

planet is being sacked b e y o n d p o s ­

sibility of recovery, all in the n a m e

of profit for the average investor

(ie. all of y o u reading this article).

So w h y d o w e , f a i r - m i n d e d a n d

consc ient ious p e o p l e , cont inue to

actively p r o m o t e such atrocit ies?

S imple - ignorance. N o n e of us

k n o w what our m o n e y is being

invested in , and further m o r e w e

have no w a y of f inding out .

Take, as an example , the night-

banking sys tem o p e r a t e d by vir tu­

ally all British banks. After the c lose

of business at the stock exchange

and the c losure of the banks for the

e v e n i n g , the c o l o s s a l s u m s of

m o n e y conta ined in ordinary cur­

rent a c c o u n t s is a m a s s e d a n d

i n v e s t e d o v e r n i g h t in Eastern

exchanges. It is then returned (with

profit) the next day, wi th n o - b o d y

any the wiser . Y o u m a y find it sur­

pris ing that even the shiny new

'ethical ' banks such as The C o ­

o p e r a t i v e bank indulge in this d u b i ­

ous pract ice .

W h a t , then, c a n be d o n e to

prevent our m o n e y be ing used to

suppor t causes w i t h w h i c h w e ' d

rather dril l holes in our head than

be assoc ia ted? N o t i c e that at the

beginning of this article I d i d not

say that m o n e y itself w a s caus ing

these p r o b l e m s . M o n e y is a too l ,

and a p o w e r f u l o n e at that. If o r d i ­

nary investors w i s h to change the

fruits of their investments for the

better, then it is the m o n e y itself

that s h o u l d be u s e d as the lever. If

investments t rend t o w a r d s ethical

s c h e m e s a n d a w a y f r o m those

proven to be i m m o r a l , then y o u

c a n be d a m n sure that the banks

a n d investment agencies will be

falling over each other to provide

such o p p o r t u n i t i e s .

True, m o s t of us invest c o m ­

parat ive ly l i t t le , a n d h e n c e our

leverage is smal l (but N O T negligi­

ble). This is w h y the success of the

'Ethical investment for the USS'

s c h e m e (see page four) is such

g o o d n e w s . N o t only, d o e s it have

the extra c redence of being a state

i n v e s t m e n t s c h e m e , but it also

packs a £ 1 3.5 bil l ion p u n c h . This is

m o r e than a start - it is part of the

so lu t ion . wxyz{| Baker }~��� like it to be

known that he doesn't agree in the

slightest - see �~�����S m a l l Ads

Tasha Newton, ICU a c c o m m o d a ­

t ion officer, wants to hear f r o m

anyone w h o has ever had p r o b ­

lems wi th an intercollegiate hall .

Contac t Tasha for any a c c o m m o ­

dat ion problems o n 0 9 5 8 707 41 5

or n .newto n@ic .ac .uk .

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Choir of St Luke's

Chelsea , is l o o k i n g for a tenor (or

tenors) . W e are a friendly choir of

a very high s tandard , s inging three

t imes a w e e k (one Friday practice

and t w o Sunday services) w i t h a

w i d e r e p e r t o i r e r a n g i n g f r o m

P a l e s t t i n a to Part . Interested?

Email D a v i d at d .nut t@ic .ac .uk for

in format ion .

C O L U M N S oV STARS � � ��e ���8

T o m S m i t h ' s letter, o n

behalf of Third W o r l d First,

cannot g o unanswered. For

those of y o u that s k i p p e d

the letters page in a frantic effort to

get straight to m y humble prose, the

Associat ion of University Teachers

have passed a m o t i o n to p r o m o t e

' e th ica l ' inves tment by the

University Superannuation Scheme,

the lecturers' pension fund. This, as

T o m pointed out, was first raised a

few months ago, and I had m y

doubts. I still d o . These objections

were principally practically, suggest­

ing that the f u n d ' s i n v e s t m e n t

returns may fall, a v iew that was

countered with 'it doesn ' t matter

because the pension is guaranteed. '

True, insofar as the payouts are

fixed at a fixed proport ion for every

year of service, but if the returns d i p ,

s o m e o n e will have to pick u p the

tab. This is m o s t likely to be the

employers or the government , but

either w a y the shortfall cannot s i m ­

ply be met by magic . In the e n d , w e

all pay. T o m is right in saying that

the pension funds w i e l d consider­

able influence, but the USS 's £ 1 3 . 5

billion is relatively insignificant in the

grand s c h e m e of things. Pension

funds d o exert influence, but this is

principally used to maximise share­

holder value, not political trouble-

making . The notion that the USS can

change the wor ld is nonsense.

In order to invest 'ethically',

T o m suggests that it will be neces­

sary to invest in smaller companies .

Ignoring for the

m o m e n t the impl i - i

cat ion that all large Qj

c o r p o r a t i o n s are \y

tyrannica l m o n - j>»

00

m o n ­

sters d e t e r m i n e d

to des t roy the

w o r l d , it m a y be

true that s m a l l ,

n iche c o m p a n i e s

may be more like­

ly to satisfy the

political agenda of j

c o

0 0 H the A U T .

H o w e v e r , his sug­

gest ion that such investment can

lead to higher returns is very mis­

leading. 1 agree that if y o u manage

to pick the next m i n n o w about to

turn into a whale , the profits will be

spectacular, but the chances of get­

t ing one 's fingers burnt increase

exponentially. This is not the way

that a responsible pension fund

behaves. Fol lowing T o m ' s advice,

ethical investment s o o n becomes as

p r u d e n t as five c a r d s t u d .

M o r e o v e r , smaller companies have

signif icantly u n d e r p e r f o r m e d the

t o p 100 companies over the last

few years . G i v e n the c h o i c e

between shares in Glaxo or a t inpot

m a c r a m e outfit, I

r��� k n o w where I'd

put m y cash. In

^ ("^ his quest to save

' ty^ the w o r l d f r o m

c a p i t a l i s t

r**j* exp lo i ta t ion by

) the W e s t (social-

ism and environ-

m e n t a l i s m are

•never far apart),

T o m forgets the

S * — ^ " ethical q u e s t i o n

f"+ of p l a y i n g fast

a n d loose w i t h

the pensions of Britain's lecturers. If

things went spectacularly wrong , w e

w o u l d all suffer. It is not acceptable

to engage in gesture politics in this

manner, and 1 hope that the USS

trustees see sense.

[The editor ����� like it to be

known that he doesn't agree in the

slightest - see ����������

Elsewhere, w e have had the first

Co ns erva t ive reshuffle s ince the

election, and it seems to have been

very sensible. Peter Lilley is more

suited to the d epu ty leadership,

where his pol icy-making skills will be

used to greatest effect. The promo­

t ion of A n n e W i d d e c o m b e to

S h a d o w Heal th s p o k e s m a n is

inspired. At the risk of stating the

obvious, the w o m a n is terrifying.

Frank D o b s o n must be praying for

Blair to reshuffle, because she will

wipe the floor with h im. Frank, bless

him, is not the sharpest tool in the

box, and any reluctance to change

jobs must have instantly evaporated.

Finally, not o n e w e e k after I sang

the praises of the recent Ante R o o m

exhib i t ion N o w it appears that

s o m e t h i n g very w r o n g is occurring.

The w i n d o w s have been covered

w i t h Bacofoi l a n d flashing lights

have been observed inside. I fear

that s o m e poor soul feels this is art,

but there are other explanations.

Either Sherfield are beginning a pro­

g r a m m e of mass hypnosis or we 've

got the builders in. If this is the case,

I apologise .

Taurus (21/4 - 2W5)

Alas , y o u r a t t e m f t s t o grcllv a tail have been

thwar ted . This wilf^gygj^yrifove benefic ial as it

w o u l d have c l a s h j ^ ^ n o m T m w i t h y o u r saf f ron-

c o l o u r e d mascar^ a n d o r a f c e fright w i g . The

best th ing for yoiJt to d o ntjlv is to purchase a

large bott le of m e ^ M M M c o h o l a n d feed it to

p igeons .

Gemini (22/5 - 21/6)

Alas , the n u r s ^ . l ^ J ^ d d ^ p K t i M I m o r p h i n e a n d I

cannot get another fix. K i r a n d p a r e n t s feature

heavily this f o r t n i g l t as t l f|se w h o have c r o s s e d

to the other side); returiJ j g ive y o u spir i tual

g u i d a n c e in y o i A d i f f l j b n t i a l c a l c u l u s a n d

knitwear c o n s t r u c t i o n e x a m . S h a m e they are

really p o o r a t * e ! l x l f f ^ ^ ™ ^ T O r

Cancer (22/6 - 22/7)

Alas , w i t h o u t love, l i fe h a s n o p u r p o s e . Dye y o u r

hair green , i t ^ R e p i r i K ^ t o c h is the n e w

grey, w h i c h Is the n e w Mtown^jpfnch is the n e w

black. If y o u ^ S m r ^ t o y r fingernails orange w i t h

i <*ople wi^irvorship y o u as

a g o d of f a s h i o r ^ t e r t i p t a S ^ f f i ^ b e c o m e a viable

o p t i o n again.

Leo (23/7 - 23/8)

Alas , the gerbil ha J r^meTkd a n d b e c o m e a

Well ington boot . T h « m a t r o a wi l l g ive y o u y o u r

m e d i c i n e la ter ; j| j jd V > u w i l l be s p o o n - f e d cus­

tard until y o u r G aJfreletubby. If y o u ' r e

lucky, X e n a , W a W o ^ ' r i n B s s w i l l rescue y o u ,

but as she does>»l#»<ist, t n j y s g g ^ i s unlikely.

Virgo (24/8 - 22/9)

Alas , Dickens , the sparkler of A l b i o n is not g o i n g

to help y o u w i n the Cleverest Person at Imperial

Col lege a w a r d , this wi l l only be poss ib le through

buying l a r g e ^ f e k J T O f c g | K e v « o a p p r o a c h e s

y o u carrying a w d e b e M t m i l , v jearing a h e a d ­

scarf a n d s p e a m g in f f n g ^ g f l P a r g e generally

m e a n s g in . 1 *

Libra (23/9 - 23/10)

A l a s , too m a n y c o o k s spoi l the broth , s o st ick to

Pot N o o d l e s a n d deJ|PSii||ed kebabs. Your cu l i ­

nary skills willjtgs4j |Pful to\(Qjyyjhis fortnight as

the Emir of W a l e s enters y o u r humble d w e l l i n g

d e m a n d i n g s u M M I M E P § W V l Y l r r i a t radi t ional

A z t e c m e a l o r b o i l e d carrots ana S p a m . H e wi l l

never bother y o u again.

horoscopes

with

Qeri "Ex-Spice

Scorpio (24/10 - 22/1 1)

Alas , a w e e k of extreme torment s e e m s likely.

Poor y o u . Al levhue tha pain byJBfjtmg vast q u a n ­

tities of pills a n < U " W K Y best. It might

not w o r k that weiTbuMt l e a W y o u w o n ' t be able

to s t o p laughing. Trusf m e on this o n e .

Sagittarius (23/1 \ - 23/12)

Alas , this w e e k bftegs n c M R but heartache.

Your better half, d ;® • i wh as C u d d l e s , wil l

s p o n t a n e o u s l y j p i T O i f c o n T u e s d a y m o r n i n g at

four a m , leaving y o u wjjth noth ing but a smal l

h e a p of ash to take to the Bal l .

Capricorn (24/12 - 20/1)

A l a s , y o u r f inances are in an

w e e k . This c o u l d be d u e to j

ing whatever remains

large a m o u n t s of

y o u r l andlord ' s job i

yourse l f over the staS

ki tchen .

p a l l i n g state this

abit of s p e n d -

ant or loan on

;routing. This is

o not concern

holes in your

Aquarius (21/1 - 18/2)

A l a s , m o r n i n g has bro ken , like the first morn ing ,

a n d that b l o o d y blackbird has left a fresh d r o p ­

p i n g o n y o u r p i l l o w . D o not leave y o u r w i n d o w

o p e n all night GuJnea pi<*s c a n oft. i

blackbirds , as t h f t ^ c o m e h u g e M t i g i f v i n g b i rd-

eaters at night a . f d ^ ^ m * C a t h e r y things

w i t h o u t r e m o r s e . N o t a lot of p e o p l e k n o w that.

Pisces (19/2 - 20/3)

Alas , f ishface, y o u

increas ing torture d o e s

there is i n d e e d m o r e

ever c o n s i d e r e d changin^

ant? There are many?

at the ever

here, and that

ie. H a v e y o u

of d e o d o r -

w h i c h cater

for y o u r o w n particular bodi ly o d o u r .

Aries (21/3 - 20/4)

Alas , G u i n n e s s dotff

it p o u r e d into y m i r u n d

hairy badgers . Resist t h e |

feed your f latmates s lug s o

M a r t i n i . They d i d not pay |

to torment y o u a n d m a k e

; r o r ^ F g o ^ o r y o u , as

nts byWour smal l

m p t a t i o n to force

fie and Bailey's and

badgers in w o r m s

ur life hell , I d i d .

� � ��e ���8 C O L U M N S

THOUGHT FOR THE DAY

: this n contains the word "Bros'

The recent ear thquake in northern

Afghanis tan w a s a terrible natural

blight: a plague of Biblical p r o p o r ­

t ions, tragically kil l ing a p p r o x i m a t e ­

ly five t h o u s a n d p e o p l e a n d injuring

many others . W e d o not e v e n have

the c o m f o r t of k n o w i n g that insur­

ance c o m p a n i e s wil l be p a y i n g the

bil ls . . . W h e r e d o y o u r e c k o n this

p iece of l iterally g r o u n d - s h a k i n g

news s h o u l d e n d up in any self-

respect ing n e w s p a p e r ? Front page

h e a d l i n e , p e r c h a n c e ? W e l l , t h e

tabloids didn't think so . In fact,

M o n d a y ' s ed i t ion of a certain p o p ­

ular tab lo id ran as f o l l o w s : pages

one to five - H o d d l e ' s e x p u l s i o n of

Paul G a s c o i g n e (bring o n O w e n , I

say); t w o ful l -page p r o m o t i o n s ; a

page 3 girl generous ly s h o w i n g her

rear to the w o r l d ; a ful l -page a d ;

then stuck b e t w e e n an article about

a m a n w h o w a n t e d to get m a r r i e d

in pr ison a n d a banal p iece about

s o m e o n e w h o m a n a g e d to get free

entrance to see S c r e a m 2 were

three c o l u m n inches about a cer­

tain m i n o r earthquake s o m e w h e r e

in s o m e p o o r country . A n d three

pages about Ginger Spice .

W h e n y o u c o n s i d e r the m u c h -

p u b l i c i s e d b i c k e r i n g of rock

d inosaurs Oas i s , w h o are still large­

ly intact, and then c o m p a r e it to

the relatively strife-free career of

P o s h , Ginger, Scary, Baby, Sporty

a n d Turmer ic , y o u w o u l d be forgiv­

e n for t h i n k i n g that Gir l P o w e r

w o u l d live forever. This w a s a lmost

bel ievable, g iven that the Fab Five

w e r e o n e of the few manufac tured

bands to actually w o r k their socks

off. S ince their c h a r t - t o p p i n g begin­

n i n g w i t h W a n n a b e , their faces

have b e e n e v e r y w h e r e , w h e t h e r

y o u like it or not : s p o n s o r s h i p

d e a l s ; t w o a l b u m s ; t e l e v i s i o n

a p p e a r a n c e s . They put the split

d o w n to artistic di f ferences , but

perhaps after all this t ime in each

other's c o m p a n y , Ger i is as s ick of

the sight of the rest of t h e m as a lot

of us s e e m to be.

H a v i n g sa id all that, credit m u s t

g o to t h e m for g o i n g for broke .

His tory suggests that the l i fet ime of

such a c a n n e d p o p delight is not

long, and they s e e m e d to realise

that get t ing as m u c h m o n e y as

possible in as short a s p a c e of t i m e

as possible w a s the w a y f o r w a r d .

L o o k at laughable teen legends

Bros: probably just as m u c h of a

p h e n o m e n o n as the Spices . The

dif ference lay in their at t i tude to

the m e d i a . Bros didn't bother m u c h

w i t h it, a l though s p o n s o r s h i p deals

w i t h s e c o n d - h a n d c lothes s h o p s

f logg ing r i p p e d jeans, c o n t r a c t s

w i t h G r o l s c h , or, m o r e likely, agree­

m e n t s w i t h h y d r o g e n p e r o x i d e

manufacturers , w o u l d all have been

vaguely poss ib le . Converse ly , the

number of S p i c e - s p o n s o r e d p r o d ­

ucts e x p a n d e d seemingly w i t h o u t

l imit , as m o r e a n d m o r e greedy

c o r p o r a t i o n s l o n g e d for a gr inning

cheeky face o n the front of their

latest l ine of toenai l c l ippers . W h e n

Bros split u p , they f o u n d t h e m ­

s e l v e s in s e r i o u s t r o u b l e w i t h

A m e r i c a n Express : w h e n Geri left

the Sp ice Gir ls , they w e r e w o r t h

tens of mi l l ions of p o u n d s each .

Incidentally, C r a i g L o g a n , ex-Bros

bassist , m a d e the sensible m o v e ;

last I h e a r d he w a s m a n a g i n g

N e n e h Cherry , w h i l e the other t w o

are still despera te ly trying to make

their fantastic c o m e b a c k records .

They w i l l p r o b a b l y m a k e m o r e

m o n e y by s igning o n .

So if the next b ig teen th ing are

reading this (admittedly not likely,

unless the C a l c u l us Boys are s ign­

ing as w e speak) , r e m e m b e r that

y o u r fans wi l l be distressingly fickle.

O n e day, probably s o o n e r than y o u

think, they wi l l g r o w up .

Ali  ¡¢£¤¥¦¦Woter

Salads

Despi te the usual p o s t - M a y m o n s o o n s eas on

I'm carrying o n w i t h m y s u m m e r t h e m e . This

t ime I 'm l o o k i n g at the del icate a n d o f ten c o n ­

troversial t o p i c of sa lads . N o w salads c a n be

based o n m a y things: let tuce, t o m a t o , rice,

p o t a t o , c o u s c o u s (see Felix 1115) e t c .

H o w e v e r , they must be fresh a n d the ingredi ­

ents M U S T be of t o p qual i ty because that 's

where the taste c o m e s f r o m .

So, exper iment , m i x a n d m a t c h a n d r e m e m ­

ber that lettuce d o e s not just m e a n iceberg

(which in m y h u m b l e o p i n i o n has to be the m o s t

uninterest ing sorry excuse for a vegetable that

I've ever c o m e across) . There are d o z e n s if not

hundreds of different let tuces e v e n if y o u can' t

get t h e m all in the supermarke t . C o s , chicory ,

r o u n d , frisee, oakleaf, red oakleaf, scarol le ,

cress a n d I c o u l d g o o n . They 're all available

over here a n d they're all excel lent .

To help ali this greenery g o d o w n a n d also

to c o m p l e m e n t the s i m p l e u n c o o k e d vegetable

tastes, it 's usual to a d d s o m e sort of dress ing to

a sa lad . I'll g o through the instruct ions for the

t w o m o s t c o m m o n a n d th e n a short bit o n

potato salad w h i c h is far t o o s i m p l e a n d tasty to

miss out .

French Dressing

Put 1 level t a b l e s p o o n f u l of s m o o t h french

mustard , preferably f r o m Di jon, a n d the s a m e

a m o u n t of w i n e vinegar into y o u r salad b o w l .

A d d s o m e freshly g r o u n d p e p p e r and a p i n c h of

salt. M i x these up thoroughly c r u s h i n g the salt

so it d issolves . There 's a lot of blah about only

using a w o o d e n b o w l a n d s p o o n but I've a lways

got g o o d results w i t h any o l d b o w l and a meta l

t a b l e s p o o n . Next , dr izzle a smal l a m o u n t of o i l

(say about 1 cc for the scientif ic a m o n g s t you)

a n d stir this into the m u s ta rd until it is c o m ­

pletely i n c o r p o r a t e d . Then a d d a little m o r e o i l ,

stir, m o r e o i l , stir, m o r e oi l etc. It is essential

that t h e oi l is fully emuls i f ied each t i m e before

Typical IC student, meet lettuce. Lettuce,

you are no longer safe.

y o u a d d any m o r e or it wi l l just separate out

later. O n c e y o u have u s e d the equivalent of 2

tbl oi l y o u can pour the rest of it in m o r e r a p i d ­

ly but keep stirring vigorously . Y o u ' l l n e e d to use

a tota l of a round 6 tab lespoons of oi l (i.e. 6

parts oi l to 1 part m u s ta rd to 1 part vinegar) but

taste the dress ing w h e n y o u ' v e f inished a n d

adjust the seasoning as they say.

Mayonnaise

For this o n e the state of the b o w l IS i m p o r ­

tant. I like us ing a ceramic o n e because there is

a lot of stirring to be d o n e and a g o o d thick

b o w l w o n ' t m o v e a r o u n d t o o m u c h . It must be

spot less ly c lean and dry. A poss ib ly useful trick

is to m a k e sure all the ingredients a n d the bowl

are at the s a m e (room) t e m p e r a t u r e . Gently

crack an e g g a n d separate the yolk , r e m o v i n g as

m u c h of the whi te as p o s s i b l e . Plonk the yolk

into the b o w l , a d d a smal l t a b l e s p o o n of m u s ­

tard a n d mix together w e l l . The process is basi­

cally the s a m e as for f rench dress ing , m i x i n g in

the oi l d r o p by d r o p a n d m a k i n g sure it is c o m ­

pletely m i x e d in before a d d i n g any m o r e until

y o u have a fairly substant ia l a m o u n t of m a y o n ­

naise at w h i c h point y o u c a n start a d d i n g the oil

in m o r e rapidly . O n e e g g y o l k is e n o u g h for

a r o u n d 2 0 0 m l of oi l s o d o n ' t be shy. Y o u k n o w

the m a y o n n a i s e is ready w h e n y o u can make it

into sharp peaks by pul l ing the s p o o n out . S top

a d d i n g oi l a n d m i x i n g at this po in t . It's usually a

g o o d i d e a to a d d s o m e t h i n g ac id ic to a m a y o n ­

naise just to counterba lance all that grease. A

c o u p l e of tbl of vinegar or l e m o n juice s h o u l d

d o the trick

Potato Salad

W a s h but d o not pea l 2 lb n e w potatoes .

Cut t h e m into bi tes ize p ieces a n d c o o k in s i m ­

m e r i n g water until just t ender . Finely c h o p a

shallot and slice a st ick of celery. Put all the

above in a large b o w l , sprinkle generous ly wi th

salt a n d g r o u n d p e p p e r , a d d 4 - 5 tbl of ol ive oil

and mix w e l l .

Dear m e , the stress of these rec ipes !

Antoine

IMPERIAL COLLEGE UNION DRAMATIC SOCIETY PRESENTS

A ' w

CHORUS OF

• By Alan Ayckbourn

DISAPPROVAL PERFORMANCE BEGINS 7.30PM

U N I O N C O N C E R T H A L L

£7 / £5 C O N C E S S I O N S

T I C K E T S A V A I L A B L E F R O M U N I O N O F F I C E

D

§ ¨ ©ªe «¬¬8 MUSIC ¬

A L B U M S

808 STATE

88:98 • • •

MIDGET ­ ® ¯°±²³ }h

So, I 'm seventeen again, reel­

ing f r o m t o o m u c h a l c o h o l ,

t o o m a n y b o d i e s p r e s s i n g

c lose to m e , sweat d r i p p i n g into

m y eyes. Trying to w o r k out this

' d a n c i n g ' lark, t h r o w i n g myse l f into

shapes that cause a c o n c e r n e d

passer-by to enquire if I 'm having a

s e i z u r e . D e c i d e to turn in m y

recently a c q u i r e d d a n c i n g shoes

and take u p knit t ing ins tead . A n d

then, a n d t h e n . . . . The Only ´µ¶·¸That Bites. C h e e s y w e s t e r n s a m p l e

(dunno w h i c h o n e , d o n ' t care)

pull ing a rictus grin a r o u n d m y

face, feet finally a c h i e v i n g s o m e

level o f s y n c h r o n y , the b o y

b e c o m e s a g o d . A t least, that 's

h o w I r e m e m b e r it.

W i t h o u t w a l l o w i n g in nosta lgia

t o o m u c h , ¹º¹»¼¹ is a t i m e l y

reminder o f just h o w b l o o d y g o o d

8 0 8 State w e r e . W h i l e s w e e p i n g

t h r o u g h m u s i c a l b o u n d a r i e s like

they w e r e S w i s s border check­

points , they still m a n a g e d to p r o ­

d u c e a s u c c e s s i o n of floor-fi l lers

that everyone l o v e d . ½¾¿ÀÁ w i t h its

angular m e l o d y and c l i p p e d beats

is pure t e c h n o class whi le ÃĶ·ÅÀÆeases y o u r h e a d o p e n a n d s m o t h ­

ers the synapses in G o l d e n Syrup.

O f course , their point is not that

they 're back to rehash the o l d hits,

but to prove that they never really

w e n t away, as the latter half of the

a l b u m conf i rms .

A p le thora of col laborat ions are

present , f r o m the la id-back L o p e z

(with j a m e s D e a n Bradfield) to the

p r e d i c t a b l y daf t B jork o u t i n g ,

Ooops. Particularly g o o d is ÇȾÉÊÂw h i c h features the s w o o n s o m e

v o c a l ta lents o f Louise R h o d e s

f r o m L a m b , a l though it 's not quite

up to the s tandard of her regular

outfi t . O n e d o e s get the i m p r e s ­

s ion of t h e m c a s h i n g in o n the

cachet assoc ia ted w i t h be ing p i o ­

neers of a genre w h i c h has ul t i ­

mately m o v e d o n sufficiently to

r e n d e r 8 0 8 State s o m e w h a t

obsole te .

But this matters little w h e n pre­

sented w i t h In Yer Face (which is),

a n d Pacific State, f ea tur ing the

m o s t m e m o r a b l e o b o e riff ever.

W h o cares if they 're still ' relevant '

w h e n they 've got a str ing of such

unarguably brilliant tunes to their

n a m e .

N o w , w h e r e d i d I put those

whi te gloves? A a a a h , s o r t e d . CI ËÌÍÎHEADSWIM

Despite ÏÐÑÒÓÔÕf • • • •

Al i t t le k n o w n fact a b o u t

H e a d s w i m is that they start­

e d life as a d o d g y meta l out ­

fit c o m p l e t e w i t h l o n g hair a n d tight

trousers . W h a t h a p p e n e d , then , t o

initiate s u c h a drast ic change of

music a n d style? W e l l in the w o r d s

of vocal ist Daniel G l e n d i n i n g ' w e

wrote s o m e songs ' . The songs in

quest ion are all p a c k e d w i t h a raw

e m o t i o n not heard of s ince the

likes of R a d i o h e a d , w h o are o b v i ­

ous inf luences. The t w o singles s o

far, Ö×ØÙÚÛÜØÝ Þ a n d Better Made,

were strangely ignored by the s in ­

gles buying publ ic , both only briefly

grac ing the b o t t o m e n d of the t o p

forty. This a l b u m d e f i n i t e l y

deserves to d o better.

H e a d s w i m are a m o n g s t t h e

new set of bands t o u t i n g misery as

the m o o d of the late ninet ies , a

w o n d e r f u l r e f r e s h i n g fee l ing for

those of us w h o occas ional ly feel

like p u n c h i n g lan Broudie in the

face.

The p o w e r in the m u s i c c o m e s

f r o m a c o m b i n a t i o n of the extraor­

dinary v o i c e of Daniel G l e n d i n i n g

( sounding similar to St ing, only bet­

ter) and the harsh but ult imately

beautiful , m e l o d i o u s guitar ing cour­

tesy of Daniel a n d the strangely

m o n i k e r e d Clovis Taylor.

The a l b u m is p o p u l a t e d by a

series of dark haunt ing songs each

o n e ref lect ing var ious aspects of

d e p r e s s i o n ; Wishing I was Naive an

e m o t i o n I think w e all have s o m e ­

t imes ; Clinging to the Wreckage

a n d the a c h i n g l y bri l l iant f inale

Brother as wel l as the a f o r e m e n ­

t i o n e d singles are definite s tand

out tracks, each one d r i p p i n g w i t h

p a s s i o n . Interestingly it is the m o r e

upbeat tracks w h i c h fail to strike a

c h o r d , namely Holy ßµàá âã This is

the only bad track o n the a l b u m

w h i c h flies by a n d leaves little

i m p r e s s i o n .

This real ly is an a b s o l u t e l y

s u p e r b d e b u t a l b u m w h i c h w i l l

hopeful ly cause Joe publ ic to w a k e

u p , s m e l l the r o s e s a n d s e n d

H e a d s w i m to the s t a r d o m they

deserve . H e a d s w i m are the perfect

ant idote for those w h o have t ired

of OK ½à·Å¾â É and desperate ly

need another d o s e of d e p r e s s i o n

to r e m i n d t h e m of just h o w bad this

t e rm can get .

Finally I'd like to thank Dave

Hel lard for consis tent ly h a n d i n g his

reviews in late a n d therefore for­

feit ing this a l b u m . Cheers Dave . CI äåæç

First t h e r e w a s A s h , t h e n

S y m p o s i u m a n d n o w M i d g e t .

H e r e w e have another typ i ­

ca l ly c h e e k y a n d c h i r p y indie

b a n d , f o l l o w i n g the foots teps of

m a n y before t h e m . M i d g e t , a

b a n d m a d e up of three pre -pubes -

cent teenagers have brought forth

their d e b u t a l b u m , but have y o u

heard of t h e m ? Surpris ing if not,

as d u r i n g the last year they've

m a n a g e d to put out a r o u n d seven

singles.

Their latest s ingle, The Day Of èéêë Life is set to hit the charts

w i t h the force o f a m a r s h m a l l o w ,

but it's not b a d . It's just that

M i d g e t are f ight ing for a hole in

the market that is barely visible.

Like their peers , M i d g e t s e e m to

have t w o m o d e s . L o u d and pacey

or acous t i c a n d cheeky. This c o n ­

trast c a n clearly be seen in the t w o

best songs of the a l b u m , The One

Who ìíîïð Save Me a n d Canada.

Canada r ips through the verses

c o m i n g to a c l i m a x before s l o w i n g

d o w n to a c h o r u s del ivered wi th

the sof tness of the lead singer of

C a t c h . They try to tell y o u that

they're y o u n g a n d out for a laugh,

their lyrics ta lk ing of unimportant

things s u c h as a l c o p o p s and invis­

ible ba l loons .

Y o u can't really fault the a l b u m

for m u s i c a l content , except for

lack of originality. They have the

'we're y o u n g a n d want to m o s h '

m o o d s of S y m p o s i u m , c o m b i n e d

w i t h the q u i r k y a n d y o u t h f u l

a p p r o a c h of C a t c h . H a d they

e m e r g e d t w o y e a r s a g o , they

w o u l d have been seen as fresh,

but unfortunately they haven't , so

all they c a n rely u p o n is that the

y o u t h of t o d a y have the m o n e y

a n d t i m e to f o l l o w o n e m o r e band

like this . CI David H

Reviews are g iven a mark out of

five as f o l l o w s . . .

Dr inking Beer

B B Q s

Sunshine

H o l i d a y s

L a z i n g a r o u n d

No Stars Exams

10

A L B U M S

MUSIC ñ ò óôe õöö8

PEACH TRICKY ÷øùúûüýþÿh � � � '/2 Angels with Dirty Faces

It's s u m m e r and the m o s q u i ­

toes are out in force, congre­

gat ing under trees a n d lying in

wait for bare arms a n d lazy s tu­

dents w h o want to l isten to their

brand n e w C D s in the g lor ious out ­

doors , instead of in the stuffy, sub­

tropical heat of their b e d r o o m s .

That sa id , this t i m e of year is

exceptional ly stressful for every­

one. I've had a terrible lab course , a

lot of wr i te -ups to fake a n d w h o l e

a m o u n t of rev i s ion to p l o u g h

through, as wel l as the day job, a n d

so I d e c i d e d to practise Crit ical

Path A n a l y s i s by r e v i e w i n g this

a lbum in m y s leep. I s tarted l isten­

ing to it at e leven o 'clock o n Friday

night, and by four a m Saturday 1

w a s h o o k e d o n the e l e c t r o n i c ,

s u m m e r y , sort -of sexy m u s i c p r o ­

d u c e d by the s t rong female f ronted

band Peach . W i t h her slightly flat

voice , Lisa L a m b is the perfect

a c c o m p a n i m e n t to revision a n d lab

Tricky with his

new Marilyn

Monroe wig.

After l istening to this, 1 w a s

as ton ished by both the level

of brill iance a n d of the sheer

crapness that this a l b u m m a n a g e d

to achieve. I've never been a fan of

the m a n , but his a l b u m s have

always p r o v i d e d m e w i t h t w o or

three c h o i c e c u t s . This t i m e

a r o u n d the sa id c h o i c e cuts are of

real quali ty but the rest are not

really w o r t h the l i s t e n i n g t i m e .

U n l e s s y o u are a real fan , o f

course .

After s u c h a l o n g t i m e a w a y (so

l o n g that his o w n uncle is probably

a bigger star now) I d i d n ' t k n o w

what to expect . After l is tening to

Angels With Dirty Faces, I 'm still

unsure about its actual content . A s

an a l b u m , it s o m e h o w manages to

g o f r o m o n e e n d of the s p e c t r u m

to the other - w i t h m o s t of it at the

dreadful e n d .

Mellow kicks the a l b u m off w i t h

a w i c k e d back ing but it is ru ined by

Tricky s inging in a strange high-

p i t c h e d v o i c e ; o n c e he returns to

his usual whispering/rapping per­

s o n a , the t rack sa lvages s o m e

respec tab i l i ty . The next t rack ,

Singin' The�����

is m y favourite.

It, qui te literally, sings the blues.

T r i c k y ' s f e m a l e s i n g i n g partner ,

M a r t i n a , f ea tures o v e r a funky

b a c k i n g a n d it is s u p e r b - it has to

be heard to be be l ieved. Broken ��� features the talents of P. J.

Harvey o n v o c a l s . The result is

eerie but w o r k s quite w e l l . O n the �� ��� I Feared, Tricky covers

Slick Rick a n d the q u e s t i o n is, s i m ­

ply, w h y ? This is awful and should

have b e e n left w e l l a lone. Carriage

For Two p o p s u p half w a y through

the the a l b u m a n d is very o d d . It is

very s l o w a n d has those great

w h i s p e r e d v o c a l s that create a

feel ing of real darkness in the song.

T h r o u g h o u t t h e s o n g , M a r t i n a

s ings t h e v e r s e f r o m Bil l ie

H o l l i d a y ' s ��� Bless The Child

a n d , this m a y s o u n d strange, it

c o m e s off w e l l .

1 w a s indifferent to this as an

a l b u m . If y o u are a fan then y o u ' v e

probably a lready got it but if y o u

aren't , th e n just buy the singles.

Leave this a l b u m a lone . H

Milen

reports, and I've had the C D o n

loop all day. The m us ic is extreme­

ly p o p p y and makes m e want to

put o n m y s ix- inch p la t form shoes

and start d a n c i n g . I k n o w that this

is a bad idea , as I wi l l fall a n d break

m y leg, but there's s o m e t h i n g in the

music that just makes m e smile like

an idiot. It must be that all the

songs are extremely unchal lenging,

without any real m e a n i n g or d e e p

feeling. At heart, this a l b u m is h o l ­

low. But, w h o cares? It's s u m m e r ,

the sun is shining and I'm t ired of

angst -r idden, male -or ienta ted , g u i ­

tar- led m u s i c for naval gazers . This

a lbum has a light, frothy l e m o n -

mousse , s u m m e r y , sugary flavour,

and I think it's great, in a slightly

naff and tacky w a y .

I really, really w a n t e d to slate

this C D . The cover shouts pos t ­

m o d e r n , p r e - m i l l e n n i u m p s e u d o -

art at y o u , w i t h its tasteful orange

a n d c r e a m p h o t o g r a p h s . The

songs are very sub-St Etienne Euro-

P o p but wi thout the satirical edge .

The single, On �� Own, s o u n d s

like Gina G c o v e r e d by a b u n c h of

h a l f - w i t t e d s c h o o l - c h i l d r e n . . . a n d

yet, as a w h o l e , the a l b u m is g o o d .

Like the S p i c e Gir l s a n d

Bananarama, Peach g r o w s o n y o u .

Sorry. E] � ������ Rabbit

Fat Boy Slim -

A l t h o u g h this s o n g is a tad repetit ive, it breaks up the

m o n o t o n y by s i m p l y s l o w i n g it right d o w n and then

bringing back the t e m p o . This pretty w i c k e d track is let

d o w n by its c o n t i n u o u s repet i t ions.

Audioweb -

It s o u n d s like A u d i o w e b have d e c i d e d to release a half

hearted a t tempt at a s t r ings-backed e p i c . This is a

mass ive d i s a p p o i n t m e n t after the blistering assault of ������ !" Skank.

Arnold -

This is a feeble , bor ing a n d bland guitar s t r u m m i n g

joke. The single cover just about s u m s the s o n g u p ,

w i t h a pathetical ly d r a w n p h o n e . W h y ?

Quest -

It s tarted off w i t h a p r o m i s i n g latin beat but e n d e d up

turning into a hybrid of p o p a n d soul that just grates

after a c o u p l e of l istens.

Cartoon -

Isn't this s u c h a c l i ched title for an indie song? W e l l

d o n ' t be surpr ised because it is an indie s o n g but a

pretty m e d i o c r e one at that. 'Drift on the ocean and

fade away ' Yeah , fade right out of m y stereo.

Insane Clown Posse -

Are this lot meant to be a c o m e d y vers ion of C yp r e s s

H i l l . #��$% &�$% '�$% # is what y o u get for the c h o ­

rus plus a cringe w o r h t y fairground s a m p l e . Save it for

H a l l o w e e n guys .

E

Gomez -

This is bluesy a n d la idback w h i c h is basically the recipe

for the perfect s u m m e r s o n g . W h a t is it wi th bands

n o w a d a y s , g lor i fy ing cr imina l behaviour . W h a t will be

next?

Ether -

P o p is the only w o r d to descr ibe this . Y o u get carried

a l o n g w i t h the cheerfulness of it all as m u c h as y o u try

to resist. S o u n d i n g like a m u t a t i o n be tween Squeeze

and W h a m can' t be a g o o d thing, but it w o n ' t s top y o u

s inging a l o n g to it.

Pulp -

This is Back For (��) isn't it? A r e Pulp turning into

Take That wannabes? d

* +,-e .//8 MUSIC

Easter a l s o \ 1 71 x '

s a w the release Wlicit S of A r e t h a

Franklin's set, after a huge hiatus

the or ig ina l q u e e n of s o u l has

returned and in what style. The

a l b u m n a m e A Rose is Still A Rose

is qui te fitt ing s ince this lady can

still c l a i m to be amongst the best, if

not the best. The title track f r o m

the a l b u m is the killer cut, but the

rest is still a c lass

act.

D u r i n g Easter

t h e G a n g s t a r r

a l b u m 012345 o, 6789: d r o p p e d

Before its release

m o s t w e r e chat t in '

about this as the

hip h o p set of the

year a n d after part­

ing w i t h m y hard

e a r n e d c a s h I g o t t a say they

w e r e n ' t w r o n g . This a l b u m is g o n n a

feature in the t o p five of everyone 's

hip h o p hit list of that I have no

d o u bt , m y favourite tune is the

s t u n n i n g Royalty, f ea tur ing K - C i

a n d Jojo f r o m Jodeci ; DJ Premier

lays d o w n a w i c k e d m e l o d y , Jodeci

boys d o their th ing a n d G u r u , wel l

G u r u d o e s w h a t he d o e s best.

Royalty hasn' t got a release date

yet , but w h e n it d o e s y o u better

recognize , cause Gangstarr are the

k ings . If y o u w a n n a c h e c k

G a n g s t a r r for y o u r s e l f they are

c o m i n g to England as suppor t for A

Tribe C a l l e d Q u e s t o n July 16th.

, . . . The Tr ibe are

Up Y c\ll! c o m i n g to give

s u p p o r t for their

n e w a l b u m A Love 012345 d u e

out o n 14 July.

Publ i c E n e m y ( r e m e m b e r

them?) haven't re leased an a l b u m

for s o m e t ime, a n d s u d d e n ly w e r e

get t ing t w o in one year as far

as I 'm c o n c e r n e d it's all g o o d ! The

first release strictly s p e a k i n g isn't a

PE a l b u m . Rather ,

the s o u n d t r a c k t o

the Spike Lee f i lm

He Cot ;<23= but

s e e i n g as all t h e

tracks are by Public

Enemy 1 think it

rates as a PE a l b u m .

Personal ly I've only

caught o n e cut f r o m

it, the title track He >?@ A<23 a n d boy

this is head n o d d i n g infect ious as

hell - this is a tune! The rest of the

a l b u m I'm t o l d kicks it equal ly hard

a n d features m a n y guest appear ­

ances, m o s t notably f r o m ICRS-1.

PE's s e c o n d release for the year wil l

be their a lbum (as o p p o s e d to the

soundtrack w h i c h has PE o n every

track but isn't a really a PE album)

cal led B3CDEE3F5G14H I haven' t heard

a th ing about it or f r o m it a n d d o n ' t

really k n o w what to say, so I 'm not

g o n n a say shit.

O n the future a l b u m front, a

n e w a l b u m is d u e f r o m M a x w e l l

ca l led I2JEK<= after the first this

has alot to live up to . R. Kelly has

Kenny driving a Union minibus (he's under the dog in a "I was con­

trolling the pedals" position). Allegedly.

THA B O M B I

Yeah, yeah w e back, its back, after

weeks of chi l l in ' 1 thought it about

t ime to hit y a w i t h a d o s e of Tha

B o m b and bring everyone back up

to date w i t h all the h a p p e n i n g s in

the w o r l d of street s o u l .

I said fire it u p ! The Easter break

was huge for Busta , the Knight

Rider s a m p l i n g Fire It Up d i d s o m e

serious d a m a g e in the t o p half of

the t o p ten . Busta w a s f lavour of

the m o n t h a p p e a r e d o n n u m e r o u s

shows inc luding T o p of the P o p s

and, strangely, TFI Friday. Then the

boy w e n t to T h e T e m p l e in

Tot tenham and r i p p e d the p lace

up . Peo ple w h o w e r e there say

that W e s t w o o d ' s p lace wi l l never

see a s h o w like that again .

I said fire it u p . A n d Canibus

and LL are d o i n g just that, its o n !

The beef s tarted w h e n LL c h a n g e d

Canibus ' s verse o n 4,3,2,1 a n d

a d d e d a cuss o n C a n i b u s into his

o w n verse . Canibus d i d n ' t sit back,

this boy bit back a n d r i p p e d LL to

shreds w i t h the banging 2nd B1D4LMNOPQORST but LL got off the canvas

and has c o m e back w i t h his retala-

t ion cut The Ripper Strikes Back. In

Ripper LL has a g o at C a n i b u s a n d

Wycle f (reportedly the n e w m a n a g ­

er of Canibus) , c u s s i n g the latter

was probably a mis take ' cos n o w

he has both g u n n i n g for h i m a n d

Wycle f has just f inished his retal ia­

t ion cut What 'Clef A15 to Do With U5VH Winner? L L ' s g o t history, but

C a n i b u s is t h e r a w e s t r a p p e r

a ro und, he got the ski l lz .

YOU'RE READING ICRADIOIII

' What is aF122G5533V A WXYZ[ of

theD4\G]]G4^= picked _`ab the

D4cG5=to do the

D443F3CC<EKH d - Richard

Harkness .

Wel l as this year d r a w s (on a

joint) to an e n d , I think it is o n l y fit­

t ing that w e congratulate in a m u t u ­

al brown n o s a t h o n all those w h o

have h e l p e d to t rans form the s ta­

t ion into o n e w h i c h kicks m o r e butt

than Beavis' foot .

Respect g o e s out to Jon Crabb

for m a k i n g this page (he's a w a s p

and salivates paper . . . really), Ross

for get t ing DJ Hurr icane in the s tu­

dios , John C for all the gigs , Gare th

for paint ing the Back R o o m a d e e p

lilac, N e e l for us ing the r e c o r d i n g

s t u d i o m o r e t h a n ever b e f o r e ,

Kenny for be ing a m u s i n g a n d to the

rest of the c r e w not forget t ing the

Dj's and our lively a u d i e n c e !

G o o d luck to next year's c o m ­

mittee w h o wil l m a k e ICR b o u n c e

further than Z e b e d e e g iv ing Tigger

a piggy-back whi ls t be ing p r o d d e d

where it hurts w i t h an IC R a d i o

branding iron (cheers Chef ) .

This week's highlights are the

re turn of N e l s o n Frisbee a n d

Spenc er Wriggly after a brief inter­

lude in the A n d e s breeding wi th

Pink Pandas (you s h o u l d see the

photographs ) . Their s h o w wil l br ing

y o u u p o n an illegal high of wit to

feather dust a w a y those revision

blues. Tune in M o n d a y s , l 2 - 2 p m

for s o m e light relief.

DJ P u gw a s h and Peter Terry will

be c o nt i nu i ng their t radi t ion of giv­

ing away far t o o m a n y c i n e m a tick­

ets for Warner Vil lage every week ,

as wel l as p lay ing w o r l d exclusive

remixes in their unique pir8 style

s h o w . Listen up o n W e d n e s d a y s

be tween 6 a n d 8 to W I N W I N W I N !

If R&J3 is y o u r thing, l isten to Ed

A d o o f r o m Kiss 100 every Tuesday

@ 1 0 p m exclusive to IC R a d i o .

f in ished w o r k of his n e w *"

a l b u m VIP. R u m o u r has it is

hard at w o r k o n mater ia l for

a certain M . Jackson.

This w e e k ' s single releases see

s o m e of the biggest n a m e s in hip

h o p a n d RnB re leas ing t o p tunes,

but ' cos of the s p a c e constraint i ' l l

tel l y a all a b o u t it next w e e k . Shout

outs to all those w h o matter !

Milen

W e s t C o a s t U p d a t e

A t l o n g last, D e a t h R o w have

released an a l b u m w o r t h y to sit-

a l o n g s i d e The Chronic,

Dopigystyk: < the Tup^c join ' ,

x'luri.ftsy D a z D U h i s e r . I i i *

a l b u m • 1 into the hip

h o p alb' '- , harts at number t w o ,

only be 1 1 ' 'he t o p spot

by t h e G a n g s t a r r a l b u m . The

a l b u m ' s r . s l led B35Ge G<<44Revenge and A35 Back. This gets

back to 1 • •' • st flava

a n d it has s o m e great tracks o n it

(even T u p a c m a k e s an

appearer .ee o n one) . The latest

t u m o u r ' 1 • i tuanon

are that he has s k eal w i t h

M a s t e r P 's i " i • >rds fot

an undi • 1 o f money

a n d w o r d has it that M a s t e r P has

g o n e in: g 'cos he has had

d e a t h ( row?) threats i s s u e d

against h im 1 nay stili

-

reach .

T h e m a s t e r s of m i x i n g , Dj

S ianide &. Desire , wi l l be up o n

Thursday @ 1 0 p m in P r o m o City .

P lay ing the very latest dance m us ic

in an urban style .

R e m e m b e r there are still slots

free everyday (just) so if y o u want a

g o , c o m e d o w n , join u p , roll u p ,

and play us a tune .

Plus N E W for Next Year - IC

Radio v ia the Internet in C D - q u a l i t y

s o u n d , 2 4 h o u r s a day, 365 days a

year .

O n a m o r e ser ious note , there

is a R E W A R D if y o u have f o u n d

Kenny Green's stilts (the o n e s wi th

the c o n c e a l e d cigar c o m p a r t m e n t ) .

If y o u have, then please h a n d t h e m

in at the radio s ta t ion or to securi ­

ty, a n d c l a i m y o u r free squirre l *

a u t o g r a p h e d by Ginger Sp ice and

Shergar (both s p o n s o r e d by

W i n a l o t ) . They are n e e d e d as s o o n

as poss ib le s o Kenny can run for

m a y o r of L o n d o n . fghij Shave the kFl3LD]3Hm - Not to be used in conjunction with any

other offer. No cash alternative.

12 MUSIC n o pqe rss8

CLUBSCENE - COMPETITIONS

ICARUS - Kamikaze

Release Date : 1st o pqe *

When h a n d e d this C D to

review, I w a s w o r r i e d -

very w o r r i e d . W h a t w i t h

a w e i r d a l i e n - c u m - h u m a n o n the

front cover a n d an artist by the

name of Icarus, I e x p e c t e d s o m e

h o u r - l o n g assault of D r u m & Bass

that w a s the s o u n d t r a c k t o the X -

files m o v i e .

The press release t o l d m e to lis­

ten in darkness , but s h i t - s c a r e d I

l istened to it in the b laz ing sunlight

s u r r o u n d e d by n u m e r o u s i m p l e ­

ments - ready to repel the devi l if

he c a m e .

Thankfully, he never d i d , a n d an

hour after start ing, I w a s g l a d to say

that all h a d c h a n g e d w a s m y

p e r c e p t i o n of what D ' n ' B is.

Icarus are cous ins O l l i e B r o w n

S a m Bri t ton, a n d this is w i t h o u t a

doubt as fierce as a d e b u t a l b u m

c o m e s .

• • • The first tune , Moon Palace is a

d a r k a n d m y s t e r i o u s affair .

Throughout the C D D r u m ' n ' Bass

normal i ty is s u s p e n d e d , a n d the

d u o ' s shared love of m a t h e m a t i c s -

p h e w there 's still h o p e for m e yet

(But sadly not those o n Joint M a t h s

fk C o m p u t i n g ! ) - architecture a n d

industr ial d e v e l o p m e n t sites leaves

n o t h i n g to the imaginat ion . O k a y ,

s o p y t h a g o r e a n ident i t i e s d o n ' t

c o m e flying a tcha in tune 3, tuvwPara Mis xyz{|}~ but the inf luences

of the ruff bassl ine a n d m e l o d i c

tones lead to seven minutes of

seduct iveness .

Xenotransplantation is as w e i r d

as it s o u n d s - a laid back, s p o o k y

intro g iv ing w a y to twis ted beats

before s u b m e r g i n g into a t i rade of

e lec t ronic s o u n d s . Y u m !

Baggage ��w��� the last track,

takes m u s i c a l styles far b e y o n d the

usual D ' n ' B parameters - having an

a l m o s t t e c h n o feel to it, a n d all

tracks link in superbly - highl ighting

the skill in this d u o ' s soundtrack

c o m p o s i t i o n .

M o t h exhibits a haunting, d o u ­

ble bass c i tyscape feel , a n d the

crashing, hypnot i c G o r d o n Detai l

merge to a d d yet another m o r e

than w o r t h w h i l e d i m e n s i o n to the

Recordings of Substance label .

Chris

������Mixed by Force &. Styles iririr

This is not a cheesy m i x e d c o m p i l a ­

t ion of 4 -beat / h a p p y hardcore

anthems as y o u m a y think, but c o n ­

sists entirely of Force fk Styles o w n

w o r k , qu i te i n c r e d i b l e . I d i d n ' t

realise h o w m a n y of the biggest

tracks over the past years w h e r e

d o w n to these t w o . A l t h o u g h it gets

a bit t o o cheesy for m y taste buds

t o w a r d s the e n d , it starts out in fine

style wi th s o m e of the d u o ' s earlier

w o r k that even I've got f r o m a few

years back. S o if y o u like y o u r

d a n c e m u s i c fast a n d s o m e t i m e s

hect ic - upl i f t ing w i t h plenty of

p i a n o a c t i o n a n d s t o m p i n g

bassl ines in a hardcore fashion this

s h o u l d be right up y o u r street a n d

bring back plenty of m e m o r i e s .

Mogwai.

(Eye Q)

N i c e title, this a l b u m is a co l lec t ion

of remixes of M o g w a i ' s w o r k by the

likes of H o o d , M a x Tundra , Klute,

DJ Q a n d even M o g w a i himself .

Plenty of originality all pretty m u c h

o n the exper imenta l s ide of things.

P a c k e d full o f n o v e l ideas a n d

clever little touches - but of l imi ted

a p p e a l d u e to this exper imenta l

o f ten dark a n d s o m e t i m e s pla in

insane. Tracks like Helicon 2 starts

out w i t h a minute of m i n d b e n d i n g

noise that isn' t at all p leasant .

A p a r t f r o m the o d d harsh crazy

track this a l b u m is quite d r e a m y

and t r ippy but a little t o o m i n i m a l

for m o s t . If y o u r interested in m a k ­

ing e lectronic m u s i c of any sort this

is wel l w o r t h c h e c k i n g as s o m e very

innovat ive ideas o n display .

Anion Tobin.

(Ninja Rec) * * l / 2

Y o u w o n ' t f ind this o n e under easy

l is tening - qui te the o p p o s i t e in

fact. The reason for this is that the

w h o l e a l b u m borders o n the s ide of

e x p e r i m e n t a t i o n , trying n e w idea

s o m e that w o r k a n d others that

d o n ' t . S o m e of the tracks are cha l ­

lenging to l isten to even s o u n d i n g

abrasive a n d d i s t o r t e d . I feel this is

w h e r e the p r o b l e m s lie.

W i t h A m o n trying t o o hard to

be dif ferent , the majority of l isten­

ers w o u l d s i m p l y not b o t h e r

f i g h t i n g t h r o u g h the first f e w

strange tracks to the m o r e , dare I

say, n o r m a l tracks further into the

a l b u m . Like Sordid �� Nightlife a

c lever little DfkB n u m b e r that I

c o u l d n ' t really see w o r k i n g in a club

set but f its p e r f e c t l y w i t h the

a l b u m , Escape is a track that is cry­

ing out for a full o n DfkB mix if y o u

ask m e , loads of clever s a m p l e s

a n d fx just t o o m i n i m a l o n the beat

front .

In f luences f r o m Jazz , B lues ,

h i p - h o p , s a m b a DfkB a n d e v e n

B a t u c a d a are pretty obv ious wi th

tracks like Switch w h i c h is a jazz

p i a n o intro w i t h w h a l i n g t rum pe t

etc jo in ing in w i t h c o m p u t e r fx over

the t o p I

Overa l l I w a s d i s a p p o i n t e d wi th

this a l b u m there are s o m e g o o d

tracks here a n d plenty of clever

ideas but sadley they are in the

minor i ty . � } �zy|��Where We Check What's In The Front Of Top DJs* Record Boxes.

r

What's In The Box -

D J Scott Garcia (Garage)- Top 20

1. Lenny Fontanna - (Public D e m a n d )

2. Scott Garcia - (Conngeted)

3. Dub Monsters - ( U n d e r g r o u n d Corrupt ion)

4. Scott Garcia presents The Dark Series -

( U n d e r g r o u n d Corrupt ion)

5. Scott Garcia - (Conngeted)

6. Lutricia M C Neal - (Wild Star)

7. Chris Mac - 4 (Confetti)

8. Studio 2 - (Mutiply)

9. Jazz Mondo - (Promo)

10. Skandal - (White)

11. Volume 3 - (Club A s y l u m )

12. MJ Cole - / (Dubz For Kubs)

13. M-Dub Vol .1 . - (White)

14. Dem 2 Remix - (White)

15. Mustaq - (Fuzzed)

16. Danny J Lewis - (White)

17. Jack &. Jill - (Casa Trax)

18. State Of Mind - .2 (Ministry)

19. Persian - (SJL Rec)

20. TJ Cases - (Cut fk Play)

L

IT'S e&MMG mm iSpMFF

ENd'AND |COLOMBIA

INFLATH6L€ PINfllTV SH B o u n c y

� ��l

111

Printed In Docucei i l r i :

The Sher l ie ld Walkwsn

C a l l 4l)*S8(l for more i n f o r m :

r

HAIESAION 15a Harrington Road

South Kensington London SW7 3ES (I Minute walk from South Kensington Tube)

C U T & B L O W D R Y

B Y O U R T O P S T Y L I S T S

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Normal Price £30

Telephone 0171 823 8968

A C C E S S V I S A M A S T E R C A R D C A S H C H E Q U E S

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FELIX

Editions

ALL THE ISSUES OF THE YEAR

B O U N D A STURDY HARDBACK

BOOK. A N D THE COST T

TWENTY POUNDS.

Place your orders now!

Felix: 58072, felix@ic.ac.uk

14 FILM � � ��e ���8

THE GENERAL Starring: B r e n d a n G l e e s o n , )on Voight , A d r i a n Dunbar

Director: John B o o r m a n * * * Vi

The a

Call m e a cynic , but after John

B o o r m a n w o n Best Direc tor

for this f i lm at C a n n e s , 1 w a s

s o m e w h a t scept ica l about g o i n g to

see it. Y o u see, the v i e w s of those

w o n d e r f u l p e o p l e at C a n n e s d o n ' t

usually agree w i t h m i n e . This t i m e ,

h o w e v e r , I w a s p l e a s a n t l y sur­

p r i s e d . . .

The ������� w a s p r o d u c e d for

an absurdly smal l budget (even by

British s tandards) , s e c u r e d a l m o s t

entirely o n the basis of B o o r m a n ' s

reputat ion, a n d is shot entirely in

black a n d w h i t e . In a not w h o l l y

unoriginal format , the f i lm begins

with the final scene a n d th e n retro­

spect ively chronic les the life a n d

works of the in famous Irish c r imina l

M a r t i n Carhi l l , aka . The G e n e r a l .

P l a y e d by B r e n d a n G l e e s o n ,

Carhi l l ' s s tory begins w i t h his c h i l d ­

h o o d o n o n e of the p o o r e s t estates

in Dubl in , w h e r e he s p e n d s his d a y s

steal ing f o o d a n d e s c a p i n g the Irish

pol ice (the Garda) . C o u p l e d w i t h

the nostalgic black &. w h i t e f i lming,

this generates a s y m p a t h y for the

charac ter w h i c h , as the s t o r y

unfo lds , appears u n d e s e r v e d .

E n d l e s s c o n f l i c t s w i t h the

G a r d a , t i m e in a Cathol ic borstal

w i t h the inevi table m o l e s t a t i o n ,

a n d th e n t ime in jail fuel Carhi l l ' s

g r o w i n g an imos i ty t o w a r d s author­

ity. Indeed, at t imes his w h o l e life

appears to be a n o n - s t o p battle to

insult, harass and embarrass the

G a r d a .

It is here that the only fault w i t h

the f i lm appears . It c o m b i n e s a

portrait of a g a n g l a n d cr iminal , wi th

a charicature of a loveable rogue,

t es t ing the a u d i e n c e ' s loyalty to

s o m e o n e w h o w a s after all a bad

a n d d a n g e r o u s m a n . This is easily

f o r g i v a b l e t h o u g h , as the d a r k

scenes are suitably dark a n d the

c o m e d y suitably funny. The o d d

loose e n d here a n d there d o e s n ' t

detract f r o m the f i lm either.

S t r o n g p e r f o r m a n c e s by

G l e e s o n a n d Jon Voight , as the

G a r d a Inspector a lways o n e step

b e h i n d Carh i l l , a l o n g w i t h great

s u p p o r t in the f o r m of Carhi l l ' s

(rather intriguing) family a n d gang,

k e e p the a u d i e n c e e n g r o s s e d .

Great c i n e m a t o g r a p h y just puts the

i c i n g o n w h a t is a l r e a d y an

admirab le cake .

M y only advice to anyone g o i n g

to see this f i lm (and I r e c o m m e n d

that y o u do) w o u l d be not to

expec t a b ig c l imax . This is after all

a true story - the life of a m a n w h o ,

as a cr iminal (albeit a legendary

one) , h a d t o o m u c h faith that he

w o u l d never be caught . D � ¡¢ £AFTERGLOW Starring: Julie Chris t ie , N i c k N o l t e , Jonny Lee M i l l e r , Lara Flynn Boyle

Director: A l a n R u d o l p h

Repair m e n eh? W h e n they 're

not charging y o u a - h u n d r e d -

and-f i f ty q u i d to replace a

washer o n a bank hol iday, they

enjoy n o t h i n g m o r e than s e d u c i n g

lonely h o u s e w i v e s w i t h the subtle

c o m b i n a t i o n of a c o c k y grin a n d a

little p l u m b i n g re lated i n n u e n d o -

or so w e have been led to bel ieve

by thirty years of Brit ish s i tuat ion

c o m e d y . H o w e v e r , o n the e v i d e n c e

of Afterglow things aren' t so differ­

ent in M o n t r e a l .

N i c k N o l t e plays Lucky M a n n , a

repair contractor w h o s e easy g o i n g

c h a r m presents h i m w i t h a m p l e

o p p o r t u n i t y to break his w e d d i n g

v o w s . H i s impropr ie t i es b e c o m e

unders tandable w h e n w e are intro­

d u c e d to his wi fe Phyllis , p l a y e d by

Julie Chris t ie . She is a former B-

m o v i e actress w h o s p e n d s her t i m e

reminisc ing about her past w i t h the

a id of tapes of her o l d f i lms a n d the

o d d g in .

D e s p i t e N o l t e ' s g o o d

h u m o u r e d a t t e m p t s to heal the

obvious rift in their marr iage , Phyllis

s e e m s to d e r i v e s o m e sor t o f

m a s o c h i s t i c p l e a s u r e f r o m her

w o e f u l s i tuat ion .

C o n v e r s e l y , Jonny Lee M i l l e r

has all the o u t w a r d trappings of

success - a salary large e n o u g h to

live in a r idiculously flash apart­

ment , a n d to keep his beautiful

w i f e , Lara Flynn Boyle , in all the

des igner frocks her heart desires .

H o w e v e r , M i l l e r is t o o w o u n d up in

himsel f to spare any t i m e for his

slightly neurot ic wife w h o has little

c h a n c e of fulfil ing her w i s h to have

a baby.

Four c l i c h e d c h a r a c t e r s l a n ­

guish ing in t w o dysfunct iona l mar­

riages isn't the m o s t lively of o p e n ­

ings, a n d the entirely e x p e c t e d

affair of Nol te and the at tent ion

starved Boyle lends little freshness

to the p r o c e e d i n g s . A n unlikely

s y m m e t r y is c o m p l e t e d w h e n the

pursuit of the unfaithful pair brings

M i l l e r a n d C h r i s s t i e t o g e t h e r .

Capt iva te d by the o lder w o m a n ,

Mi l l e r offers her an indulgent ear,

a n d eventual ly w e learn of the

painful e p i s o d e o n w h i c h she is

d w e l l i n g .

The f i lm g o e s o n to relate the

c o n f l i c t i n g a n d o f t e n i l l - d e f i n e d

desires of the pr inc iple characters.

Unfortunate ly , Afterglow frequently

e n d s up as c o n f u s e d as they are.

Chr is i te ' s se l f -absorbed melancholy

b e c o m e s t o o irritating before w e

learn of it 's cause , a n d M i l l e r ' s

execut ive b o r e d o m is except ional ly

grat ing. H i s assert ions that he is

only ' exc i ted by the i m p o s s i b l e '

m e r e l y s u c c e e d in m a k i n g h i m

s o u n d e v e n m o r e juvenile. In fact,

the characters are so unsympathet ­

ic that any interest in t h e m d w i n ­

dles to m i l d curiosi ty pretty rapidly.

Perhaps the only saving grace

is N i c k N o l t e ' s a s s u r e d perfor ­

m a n c e . H i s p o r t r a y a l of Lucky ,

be ing f o r c e d to q u e s t i o n his easy

g o i n g o u t l o o k is far m o r e convinc ­

ing than Julie Chris t ie ' s overact ing.

Afterglow is an unusual f i lm, but its

p u r p o r t e d ins ights in to h u m a n

nature are far t o o vague to cons t i ­

tute anyth ing other than h o l l o w

pre tens ion . D ¤¥¦§¨

© ª «¬e ­®®8 FILM

REVIEWS A N D COMPETITIONS

THE REPLACEMENT KILLERS Starring: C h o w Yuri-Fat , M i r a Sorv ino , M i c h a e l Rooker

Director: A n t o i n e Fuqua •k'k •k

Those of us in the C h i n e s e

c o m m u n i t y wil l k n o w C h o w

Yun-Fat as the square j a w e d

man f r o m Hard Boiled, The Killer

and Cod of ¯°±²³´µ¶ to n a m e just

a few. This m a n is a h o u s e h o l d

name all over South East A s i a a n d

like Bruce and Jackie before h i m ,

C h o w Y u n - F a t is m a k i n g that

important leap into H o l l y w o o d .

The ·´¸³°¹´±´º» Killers is an

act ion thriller w i t h a s i m p l e p lot ,

but s p i c e d up w i t h high a c t i o n .

C h o w Yun-Fat (keeping d ia logue to

a m i n i m u m in his first English lan­

guage role) is an assass in w h o

finally takes h e e d of his c o n s c i e n c e

w h e n p o w e r f u l u n d e r w o r l d figure

M r W e i requests Yun-Fat to be an

instrument of v e n g e a n c e . Real is ing

that his def iance is w o r s e than

s m o k i n g fifty a day, C h o w Yun-Fat

plans to return to C h i n a .

N o w requir ing a p a s s p o r t , he

meets up w i t h master d o c u m e n t

forger M i r a S o r v i n o (surprisingly

plausible por t raying a t o u g h c o o k ­

ie), and the w h o l e f i lm th e n g o e s

ballistic as M r W e i s e n d s a smal l

d'-. :

a r m y of m e n to tie up loose ends .

A b o v e the guns a n d explos ions

there are s o m e g o o d scenes , wi th

d i r e c t o r F u q u a , w h o s e p r e v i o u s

exper ience lies in direc t ing m us ic

v i d e o s , has a d d e d an M T V flavour

to the a c t i o n sequences , us ing a

car w a s h a n d a d a n c e f loor in key

m o m e n t s .

This H o l l y w o o d p r o d u c t i o n

tries desperate ly to have the s a m e

essence as H o n g K o n g ac t ion f i lms.

H o w e v e r its a t t empt to emula te

John W o o ' s uniqueness , the sheer

Chow

style a n d flair that Hard Boiled a n d

m o r e recently Face/Off have estab­

l ished, is w a y off. T o w a r d s the e n d

of the f i lm, The ·´¸³°¹´±´º» Killers

lacks suspense in its ac t ion scenes

a n d rel ies o n cat a n d m o u s e

sequences and heavy pyrotechnics

to mask over an implaus ib le c o n ­

c lus ion .

The ·´¸³°¹´±´º» Killers is like

m a k i n g p o p c o r n - heat in a wel l

o i l ed pan , a d d the kernels a n d then

w a t c h t h e m e x p l o d e . Dl

Magpie

Tickets prizes galore courtesy of

KENSINGTON

This week , five pairs of t ickets

for U S s m a s h hit The

Wedding Singer are u p for

grabs. Starring A d a m Sandler a n d

Drew Barrymore , it 's a tr ip through

the early eighties , c o m p l e t e w i t h

bandanas, mullets , a n d n o n s t o p

n e w r o m a n t i c s s o u n d t r a c k . G e t

ready to relieve styles w h i c h I 'm

sure e w all want to forget.

So, w i t h o u t m o r e a d o here 's

this w e e k ' s f iendishly hard q u e s ­

t ion :

Which f i lm links the stars of ¼½½¾Michael and

To enter s i m p l y e m a i l y o u r

a n s w e r t o f i l m . f e l i x @ i c . a c . u k

before M o n d a y evening . Entries to

any other emai l address wil l not be

a c c e p t e d .

The a n s w e r s to last w e e k ' s

poser w a s : Renne Zel lweger ¿ÀÁÂÃÄÅI M a x w e l l C a u l f i e l d (The Real Æ³ÇºÈ É Ê Liv Tyler (That Thing ËÌÍÎÏÐ

and Robin Tunney (The ѵ°Ò»Éall s tarred in Ó±¸Ôµ´ Records.

The first five correct entries out

of m y hat w e r e :

Arosha Bandara

Edwin Chang

Adam Bettinson

(.A. De Los Rios Medina

Ben Hedley

Please d r o p into the Õ´³ÔÖ off ice

(in the N W corner of Beit Q u a d ) to

pick up y o u r pr izes .

15

• STAR PROFILE:

CHOW

YUN-FAT

Ch o w Yun-Fat is o n e of the

biggest f i lm stars on the

planet - ye t unless y o u ' r e a

fan of the k i n d of des t ruc t ion fest

that is the hal lmark of H o n g K o n g

c i n e m a , y o u p r o b a b l y h a v e n ' t

heard of h i m .

This w e e k , however , he a ims

to change all that, by emulat ing

Jackie C h a n a n d h i t t i n g the

H o l l y w o o d b ig t i m e . Q u i t e w h y is

a n y o n e ' s guess , but the p r o m i s e

of m e g a pay d a y s presumably has

s o m e t h i n g to d o w i t h it. In his o w n

w o r d s " i n H o n g K o n g the stunt is

very expens ive a n d the star is very

c h e a p "

H i s f a m e o w e s a lot to a long

t e r m c o l l a b o r a t i o n w i t h G o d - l i k e

d i rec tor John W o o , w i t h w h o m he

has m a d e internat ional hits such

as Hard Target, The Killer and the

A Better ×DZǵµÇØ tri logy, and

per fec ted his t rademark " t o o t h ­

p i c k c h e w i n g " . H o w e v e r , e v e n

w i t h such a high prof i le co l labora­

tor he has yet to m a k e a real break

in the English language market ,

w i t h his fan base primari ly c o n c e n ­

trated in S o u t h East A s i a .

H o p e f u l l y , this w e e k ' s release

of The ·´¸³°¹´±´º» Killers wi l l

c h a n g e all that , s h o w i n g

H o l l y w o o d h o w to m a k e act ion

f i lms proper ly - r id iculous b o d y -

c o u n t , id iot ic c o p s , ultra v io lence ,

h i d e o u s l y s c a r r e d v i l la ins , a n d ,

m o s t important ly , bucket loads of

style.

Principle Filmography:

The R e p l a c e m e n t Killers (1998)

Peace H o t e l , The (1995)

G o d of G a m b l e r s ' Return (1994)

Treasure H u n t (1994)

A l l for the W i n n e r (1992)

H a r d - B o i l e d (1992)

Full C o n t a c t (1992)

Pr i son o n Fire II (1991)

Black V e n g e a n c e (1990)

O n c e a Thief (1990)

The Killer (1989)

G o d of G a m b l e r s (1989)

Tr iads : The Inside Story (1989)

C o d e of H o n o u r (1989)

A Better T o m o r r o w 111 (1989)

Fractured Follies (1988)

C h a s i n g Girls (1987)

Pr i son o n Fire (1987)

D r a g o n a n d Tiger Fight (1987)

City o n Fire (1987)

A Better T o m o r r o w II (1987)

D r e a m Lovers (1986)

Better T o m o r r o w , A (1986)

The Seventh Curse (1986)

The P h a n t o m Bride (1985)

16

HELD IN SUSPENSE

ARTS 5 June 1998

A CHORUS OF DISAPPROVAL Alan n

It's that t ime of year again. A s

Spring s lowly grinds it's w a y into

S u m m e r , a n d m o s t p e o p l e ' s

heads are full of differential equa ­

t ions , n e m a t o d e s a n d q u a n t u m

mechanics , the mot ley c r e w that is

DramSoc take it u p o n themselves

to relieve of us our misery, if only

for a few hours , by p e r f o r m i n g a

beautifully ac ted a n d wonder fu l ly

set play. This year, they've c h o s e n

an excel lent play, A C h o r u s of

D i s a p p r o v a l , an e ight ies A l a n

Ayckbourn , about the trials a n d tor­

ments of an amateur operat ic s o c i ­

ety. It is eye-wateringly funny and

incredibly m o v i n g w h e n read as

text, and wi th the suppor t of a

powerful cast, s h o u l d spr ing into

life and b e c o m e a masterpiece .

The plot centres a round a p r o ­

duct ion of the Beggars O p e r a by

John Gay, and features such m e m ­

orable characters as D a f y d d , the

W e l s h producer , H a n n a h , his long-

suffering wife , L inda, the petulant

adolescent , Ian and Fay H u b b a r d ,

the s w i n g i n g c o u p l e in to w i f e -

s w a p p i n g parties and a little black­

mail o n the s ide, the seemingly ine­

briated Rebecca Hunt ley-Pike and

the slightly b e m u s e d Guy, the new­

c o m e r w h o s e presence s e e m s to

jar all the protagonists into act ion,

a lmost wi thout his knowledge or

c o n s e n t . M e s s a g e l e s s , this play

takes s tock characters that w e will

all instantly recognise, places t h e m

into a s i tuation where their behav­

iour b e c o m e s inevitable, and sits

back and watches t h e m work . The

play s e e m s effortlessly writ ten, the

characters exist, they d o not appear

to be the product of someone 's

imaginat ion. This is a play a lmost

ta i lor -made for a student c o m p a n y ,

and as such cannot g o w r o n g . The

wri t ing is faultless and as the major­

ity of the characters are typecast , it

s h o u l d be execellent.

D o g o and see this, it wi l l cheer

y o u up if you've had a bad exam,

and will relax y o u after all the stress

of this t e r m . A s John Gay wrote in

the final s o n g of the operetta , "The

W r e t c h of To-day , will be H a p p y

T o - m o r r o w " . Ù ÚÛÜÝAn Arts Editor Writes....

Despite this col lege be ing at the

forefront of scientif ic , m e d i c a l a n d

t e c h n o l o g i c a l r e s e a r c h , p e o p l e

here are woeful ly n a r r o w - m i n d e d

w h e n it c o m e s to the m o r e avant-

garde forms of art. Certa in p e o p l e

have e loquent ly cr i t ic ised the exhi ­

bitions in the A n t e R o o m Gallery,

in part icular the 22 c l u b over

Chris tmas , and s o m e p e o p l e are

unaware of the presence of s u c h a

gallery in col lege at al l . Yet d e s p i t e

this, despi te the apathy t o w a r d s

art, I never e x p e c t e d s u c h a c o n ­

servative att i tude f r o m s o m e of

the most forward th inking p e o p l e I

k n o w .

W h e n the last e x h i b i t i o n

a p p e a r e d , I p o p p e d in to see it,

and w a s struck by the soul lessness

and the sterility of the paint ings .

They were extremely wel l -execut ­

ed , but surely to be a success ful

artist, y o u n e e d to express s o m e ­

thing of yoursel f in y o u r w o r k ; it

seems point less o therwise . P e o p l e

don't b e c o m e artists because they

feel like it, they have to d o it, their

work is their dr iv ing force a n d

g o o d painters express this beauti ­

fully. The list of genuine , spiritual

painters is endless . Even s o m e of

the artists in our o w n gallery have

been g o o d , those w h o exhibited

O f f i c e Party, a series of paintings,

drawings a n d sculpture , w h i c h I

f o u n d e x t r e m e l y en joyable .

Perhaps M r . Baker m i s s e d that

o n e .

To write "I never thought I

w o u l d have a g o o d w o r d for the

A n t e R o o m exhibit ions," indicates

an as tonish ing level of arrogance

a n d n a r r o w - m i n d e d n e s s . A d m i t ­

tedly, s o m e of the w o r k has not

been g o o d , s o m e of it has been

truly dreadful , not "the w o r k of an

educat iona l ly s u b n o r m a l gori l la" ,

but not great art either. The "paint­

ings [of] obvious f o r m and artistic

insight" s o praised by M r . Baker

w e r e soul less , sterile, puerile and

banal . They gave nothing even to

the casual v iewer , and w o u l d not

have s t o o d up to intense scrutiny.

To be a g o o d draf tsman d o e s not

m a k e y o u a g o o d artist. To be able

to r e p r o d u c e a tree or a vase or a

scene wi th a hill and a c o w does

not indicate talent or innovat ion.

M r Baker is enti t led to his o w n

o p i n i o n , of course , but I personal ­

ly w o u l d rather see an exhibit ion

w h i c h s h o w e d e v e n a hint of

insight than that sort of tacky

greetings card art.

THE POWER OF POSTER

A

The Power of Poster exhibi t ion

has been o n for quite a whi le

at the V & A . 1 v is i ted it about

five weeks ago for the first t i m e

and l iked it s o m u c h that I went

again last w e e k e n d . It is really

superb.

The exhibit ion is d i v i d e d u p into

different t h e m e s . First o n e strolls

through the theatre posters w i t h

s o m e of T o u l o u s e - L a u t r e c ' s

designs for Paris at the beginning

of the century. There are a lso s o m e

g o r g e o u s Japanese p i e c e s . The

next r o o m has lots of m us ic related

posters and covers ranging f r o m

Herb Ritts's p h o t o of M a d o n n a for Þßàá âãäå to D a v i d Hockney ' s beau­

tiful poster for Parade, an o p e r a -

ballet in N e w York, The fi lm sec t ion

s h o w s again a lot of d ivers i ty :

Chaplin 's early films s tand next to

the poster of The B o d y g u a r d . O n e

then m o v e s onto the m o r e pol i t ical

s ide of posters . P r o p a g a n d a is the

key w o r d ; p r o - a r m y (mainly the

US), ant i -war, M a i 68 in France,

Russia . . . .

In this sec t ion there are s o m e

a m a z i n g w o r k s : Kei th Har ing ' s

paint ing for a apartheid free South

Afr ica , Saatchi and Saatchi's preg­

nant m a n p r o m o t i n g c o n t r a c e p ­

t ion , the posters about w o m e n ' s

right of vote . This is particularly fas­

c inat ing since it is the i l lustration of

progress a n d man's p r e o c c u p a ­

t ions over these past 100 years: all

the b ig t h e m e s are present .

O n e then m o v e s o n to the

proper c o m m e r c i a l s ide of posters :

adverts for p t o d u c t s like Guinness ,

Bisto a n d Bovril and a few works by

M u c h a the C z e c h artist.The last

r o o m hosts a few m o r e recent

p o s t e r s i n c l u d i n g the h i lar ious

Smirnoff ones a n d the controver­

sial Benet ton advert i sements .

This exhibi t ion s h o w s lots of

dif ferent funct ions posters have

had over the years . In a w a y it is a

brilliant picture of our t imes and

says a lot about our fears, our ideas

a n d our d r e a m s . It wouldn ' t be sur­

pris ing if these posters have influ­

e n c e d His tory . They certainly help

to shape our everyday tastes, what

w e buy, what is c o o l , .where w e

g o , p e r h a p s e v e n w h o w e talk

to . . .These things d o have incredi ­

ble p o w e r as the name of the exhi­

bit ion suggests . The key to it is the

poster the V & A have des igned for

its p r o m o t i o n . I had a great t ime

w a l k i n g through it and enjoyed it

i m m e n s e l y the s e c o n d t i m e r o u n d

t o o . I definitely r e c o m m e n d it.

D.

CORNELIA PARKER

The Serpentine y

This is the first major retro­

spect ive of Cornel ia Parker's

career. A s one of Britain's

best c o n t e m p o r a r y artists, alj her

exhibits have a feeling of matter

held in suspense . So , for example ,

she has a large w o r k cons is t ing of

si lverware, run over by a s t e a m ­

roller and s u s p e n d e d a foot f r o m

the g r o u n d , enti t led thirty pieces of

silver. This might not s o u n d that

impress ive , but it is. The w o r k that

has g o n e into p r o d u c i n g this p iece ,

the d e d i c a t i o n it shows is quite

breathtaking. Everything s e e m s to

suggest that if y o u had been here

yesterday, y o u w o u l d have seen

the bullet g o through the dress,

seen the l ion savage the b o w l , seen

the w h o l e n e s s that has b e e n

replaced by the incomple teness .

She presents us w i t h a fait a c c o m ­

pli , and w e must fill in the d e e d

wi th our imaginat ions . M y favourite

exhibit w e r e the figures m a d e f rom

coins run over by a train, hung f rom

the ce i l ing in the shapes of people ,

m o v i n g slightly in the breeze, as if

they w e r e b r e a t h i n g . This is a

r e m a r k a b l e e x h i b i t i o n , a n d w i l l

make y o u think deeply about the

way w e v i e w objects . It is w o r t h

seeing, it's free, it's up the road and

it's very, very g o o d . W h a t m o r e can

y o u ask for? Ù ÚÛÜÝ

ORLD

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WEDS JUNE WTH 4PM

8PMTHURS JUNE 11TH

4PMSPM

FRI JUNE 12TH 1PM

,y.8PM:

/ C U |IMI'I æçèéêë l ìíîíîïððñòðóôôìN

PRIDAY I P 9 I © ¥ 9 S 9 © I

S H A F T M L ¥ © U B T R A S H PAVES, PLUS © P S T© SE W O N CHILL OUT ROOM COCKTAIL BAR. 3-2.

TUESDAY

WEDNESDAY

THURSDAY

DAMI

18

S

ARTS GAMES 5 June 1998

NOT OVERLOOKED

l Kenny, y Hicks y

It's the ice f r o m our bird bath i n

the winter" , the artist e x p l a i n e d

to m e at the private v i e w i n g o n

21st M a y . "I f o u n d it d e f r o s t i n g in

the ki tchen sink w h e n I g o t h o m e

and I l iked the look of it." 1 l o o k e d

m o r e c losely at the Bird W a t e r

series. "I put a square of glass o n

the m i d d l e of it for the s e c o n d o n e

and took it off again for the th i rd .

The ice w a s m e l t i n g u n d e r the

lights a n d y o u c a n see the leaf

f rozen into it."

This is Paul Kenny's debut exhi ­

bi t ion in L o n d o n a n d runs until

20 th June. The artist's subjects are

leaves, rocks and ice in this co l lec ­

t ion of c h l o r o - b r o m i d e prints . The

>rity of the p ieces s h o w leaves

'\ in natural surroundings a n d in

the artist's s t u d i o . The vein struc­

ture is > tptured and r e p r o d u c e d in

< .Jisite deta i l , s h o w i n g the great

beauty a n d c o m p l e x i t y of nature.

j , be '• i .

loaves and used l ighting to create

an intriguing c h e q u e r b o a r d effect

: - õ -h: p ieces .

;V:io I^er-j.rri^'sy^itifireat''. b% h e w v-je

j i t ; r f i - , « ' , ' ' . , ' ! • • • a p p a r e n t in

the rv-...: " 'ii ' i . - •:: sug­

gests that the picture s h o 1 | p l | H

trunks of 'silver!; b i rch trees , as

i n d e e d o n e w o u l d think o n first

s ight ; The "trunks", however , are

actual ly icicles o h a c l u m p of r u s h *

es. The artist cleverly m a n i p u l a t e s

the c o n c e p t of sca le to g r e a t

«ff#||;/;; : ; ; ; ' -

Overa l l , it is Paul Kenny's great

apprec ia t ion of fine, detai l and tex­

ture w h i c h m a k e s his v ork s o

a p p e a l i n g . The subject matte

s o m e t h i n g w e have all seen, a n d

m o s t of us wouldn ' t really think of

e x a m i n i n g in any detai l ; the artist's

w o r k d e m o n s t r a t e s h o w m u c h

ural beauty goes unnotice I a n d

u n a p p r e c i a t e d . ö÷øùú Hicks ûüýýþÿ�� �� Hopton

Street, SE-i

20! ' 1 >'•'• 1 i Kenny

AS YOU LIKE IT

Shakespeare's e Theatre

It was an interest ing exper ience

to see As ��� Like It be ing d o n e

at The G l o b e Theatre. It is a

venue w h i c h a l lows for rather m o r e

a u d i e n c e involvement than m o s t

theatres. It was rather unfortunate

t h e r e f o r e that I never q u i t e

engaged wi th the characters a n d

d i d not feel the n e e d to shout

a b u s e / e n c o u r a g e m e n t at t h e m .

There w a s , n o n e t h e l e s s , s o m e

audience par t ic ipat ion but it felt

rather fake.

Be ing a 'groundling' has its d a n ­

gers (and not only severe backache

f r o m s tanding u p for three hours) ,

there was f ighting in a n d through

the audience as w e l l as var ious

actors m a k i n g entrances through

the pit - in o n e case s e n d i n g an

elderly m e m b e r of the a u d i e n c e fly­

ing backwards into the c r o w d . In

t h e S i x t e e n t h C e n t u r y the

groundl ings w e r e liable t h r o w rot­

ten fruit at the actors ; m o d e r n

audiences t e n d to be slightly m o r e

restrained, t h o u g h they m a y have

to duck flying vegeta t ion c o m i n g

f r o m the d i r e c t i o n of the stage.

The G l o b e runs the risk of

b e c o m i n g a tourist attract ion rather

than a ser ious theatre space if p e o ­

ple g o there for the sake of the

g o i n g to The G l o b e instead of g o i n g

there to see plays . I w a s therefore

de l ighted that this p r o d u c t i o n was

of such high qual i ty . The h u m o u r of

the p iece w a s really brought out

a n d d e p t h a n d s ubt le t y w e r e

apparent in m a n y of the characters,

I felt I k n e w w h a t they w e r e think­

ing all the t i m e - even w h e n they

sa id noth ing .

The o n l y p r o b l e m I really h a d

w i t h the p lay w a s the e n d i n g ,

w h i c h is very hurr ied and contr ived ,

but it didn't really matter . M i n d

y o u , I c o u l d have d o n e wi thout the

seventy year o l d G o d of Marr iage

c o m i n g o n at the e n d in just a

beard , antlers a n d a pair of birds

nest pants ! �� Dane

S

EA SPORTS : WORLD CUP '98 Electronic Arts - PC / Playstation / N64 • • • •

sSHMBgBMawiteasBWMMBMijBiBriRi

- lgfr

Hurrah , the W o r l d C u p is about to

interrupt what w o u l d be o t h e r w i s e

an a p p a l l i n g l y e m p t y s u m m e r .

Luckily for all y o u s o f a footba l l fans

there are several n e w foot ie g a m e s

to play before, in the g a p s b e t w e e n

and after the g a m e s .

The youngster 3 - L i o n s s h o w s

its lack of exper ience at this level

a n d is d r o p p e d f r o m the t e a m ,

luckily the t w o o lder t e a m - m e m ­

bers International Superstar Soccer

and FIFA '98 have been ki t ted out

for another c o m p e t i t i o n . The ISS

release has yet to m a k e it out for

training but FIFA W o r l d C u p '98 is

out o n the pi tch w a r m i n g u p . The

PC vers ion d e m o n s t r a t e d o n a t o p

Pent ium 2 s y s t e m w i t h a D i a m o n d

M o n s t e r II card s t o r m e d out like a

w o r l d c u p winner . The g r a p h i c s

were superb , m o s t of the England

c r e w a c t u a l l y l o o k e d l ike their

namesakes , a n d tjie rather fluid

m o t i o n capture s y s t e m has been

des igned to m i m i c spec i f i c m o v e s

for certain players - t h o u g h m y

c o m p l e t e lack of k n o w l e d g e of the

Brazi l ian t e a m d i d p r e v e n t m e

checking this out . The e x p e c t e d

footbal l s o u n d s c a p e as f o u n d o n

TV is all there, f r o m c r o w d roar to

c o m m e n t a r y f r o m s u c h experts as

D e s L y n h a m a n d Chris W a d d l e

(obviously for penalt ies) . A s for the

g a m e p l a y , wel l s h o u l d y o u g r o w

b o r e d of England w i n n i n g the final

for the twent ie th t ime there is

a lways the o p t i o n of p laying as an

historical t e a m such as the England

1 9 6 6 t e a m , B raz i l 1970 or

G e r m a n y 1990 's t e a m s .

A s football g a m e s g o it is the

best yet , not quite the " p i s s i n g into

the eyes ' of the o p p o s i t i o n " that

PC Z o n e sa id it w o u l d be, but a

s t e p a b o v e the p r e v i o u s t i t les .

W o u l d I buy it? Possibly not , I 'd

wait to see if the K o n a m i ISS g a m e

w a s better a n d wi thout a decent

3 d c a r d I w o u l d n ' t risk it. �� �����

�Playstation Controller news.

Fed up wi th y o u r s tandard pad?

Already bought the analogue and

g a m e spec ia l i sed pads? W e l l per­

haps the " G l o v e " is for y o u . For just

less than £ 5 0 it can give the user

the refined look of a total idiot and

p o s s i b l y a n a d v a n c e d c a s e of

repetitive strain injury. The glove

also prov ides a crucial advantage in

c o m p e t i t i o n as h u m a n o p p o n e n t s

are unable to c o n c e n t r a t e a n d

instead are m e s m e r i s e d , watch ing

y o u r hands w o b b l e in apparently

r a n d o m direct ions .

A p p a r e n t l y the glove is able to

operate in three different m o d e s ;

as the s tandard digital p a d , as an

analogue p a d or in s imulated ana­

logue m o d e to give y o u r digital

responses a w i n n i n g edge. U s i n g

the glove is actually easier than

e x p e c t e d . Flexing the wrist controls

the direct ions , while the buttons

are on the t ips of your fingers.

There is as y o u w o u l d expect a

slight we i rdness w i t h this but the

designer says that it s o o n b e c o m e s

a lmost pleasurable. H m m o n e for

the Lara Croft c r o w d then.

For more news, see: �������������������

5 June 1998 CAPITAL

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SPORT á June ââ8

ACROSS D O W N

4 H e l p r e d u c e d in c o n f u s i o n over W h e n in trouble , a true chap

disease, but w i t h rosy e n d i n g uses c a n o p y (9)

(7) 2 In library 1 d o hide energy! (6)

8 Invalid, yet ca lm? (7) 3 A French n o - o n e (4) ã Drunk at new w e d s ' g i g (7) 4 Trip c o u l d bring CID's icy glare,

10 Tiger in trouble loses right to perhaps (8, 4)

burn (6) ä Bins po l i cy in trouble w i t h d r u g

12 Blackbird f o u n d in English river (10)

wi th legs first? (5) 6 C a l o r g a s m a n h i d e s th e n

13 B e a t i n g half of t h e m w h i l e c o m e s (6)

thieving? (9) 7 Start ing yesterday, m a n n e q u i n

16 Scan hut, perhaps , and d i scov­ r e d u c e d to s o n g (5)

er f irm (7) 11 Emera ld spirit? (5, 7)

17 A b a n d o n pers pec t ive for 3 D 14 Z e b e d e e loses 'e, right, wi th inn

designers? (7) t idy ing up at s p e e d (10)

1å A r e a of L o n d o n m a d e c o m ­ 1æ Sour tunes c a n be tough (9)

m o n p l a c e by Ed (9) 1 8 S o u n d s like line w i t h delay -

21 Form fungi (5) what a state! (6)

22 U n h a p p y a n d shaken Del arose 2 0 W o m a n left in N e w York regu­

f r o m seat (6) larly (6)

2 4 Fed up w i t h ocean? (7) 21 M u s e u m half With this college

2 æ Unstab le Pap to praise a n d make enterta inment (5)

congratulate (7) 2 3 Sip nasty after penny s lopes (4)

2 6 If edible , use this to sort of try

clue (7)

Angry Fists They knew exactly what lay a h e a d

of t h e m as they set out early last

Sunday m o r n i n g . The three; M i k e

Corrigan (ME4) , and Paul W a t s o n

(CE4) together w i t h N i c k "Kick-ass

f r o m H e l l a s " K a s s a p a k i s (Phys

PhD), having trained for 4 years

wi th the IC K u n g

Fu c l u b , w e r e

g o i n g for b lack

belt.

Af te r a f ine

display of forms

(fixed m o v e ­

ments ) , the

act ion began to

heat up as the

free sparr ing got

underway. The 2-

v-1 b o u t s w e r e

fierce wi th M i k e

m o v i n g s o fast

a r o u n d his t w o

o p p o n e n t s that he left a trail of

f lames burning in the ring and Paul

taking a bit of a bruis ing f r o m t w o

trained thugs. Next c a m e the g r o u p

s p a r r i n g w i t h o p p o s i t i o n f r o m

M a n c h e s t e r and W a l e s . This event

saw Paul trying his best not to a c c i ­

dentally knock, p e o p l e out w i t h his

lethal turning kick (unsuccessfully) .

As bout after bout was fought and

w o n , the IC boys began to s h o w

that it wasn ' t just big IQ's that they

w e r e pack ing . H a v i n g sor ted out

the animate objects, n o w the only

chal lenge left to the t e a m w a s the

breaking.

A l l three s m a s h e d their w a y

through eight roof

tiles wi th only just

e n o u g h t i m e to

a p p l y the D e e p

Freeze before

h a v i n g to c h o p

c l e an t h r o u g h a

d e f e n c e l e s s

house-br ick . N o w

the only thing that

s t o o d b e t w e e n

Another batch

roofing tiles is

of perfectly good

dispatched it the

name of sport.

the b o y s a n d

their black belts

w a s t w o inches

of w o o d , but not

for l o n g as the

explos ive p o w e r rocketed f r o m the

feet of the IC masters , initiating

fast fracture in the organic c o m ­

pos i te .

W u S h u K w a n runs regular

c l a s s e s in S o u t h s i d e G y m o n

Saturdays a n d the U n i o n G y m on

S u n d a y s , b e g i n n i n g at 4 . 3 0 p m .

Beginners are w e l c o m e at any t ime

and the first lesson is free!

Korfball ) It w a s s o m e t ime o n a Sunday

m o r n i n g that I d i d n ' t k n o w even

exis ted and the U L Korfball t e a m

were heading out to C a m b r i d g e

in search of success and fortune.

But what is korfball Y o u m u s t be

w o n d e r i n g [Not really - çèéêëìíIt's a Dutch g a m e similar to bas­

ket ball and net ball in that y o u

have to get a ball into a basket

m o r e t imes than the o p p o s i t i o n

but that is where the similarit ies

e n d . For a start, it is p layed by

m i x e d teams . The baskets are

m o v e d t o w a r d s the centre of

each half so that w h e n y o u miss a

shot, play cont inues . This hap­

pens very frequently as the bas­

kets are higher than in either of

the other t w o g a m e s .

Before w e knew what was

happening , w e were in to the final

against our o l d rivals C a m b r i d g e

University. The g a m e went into

extra t ime . After t w o minutes w e

had m a n a g e d to creep into the

lead 3-4, w i n n i n g the c lub 's third

piece of si lverware in 18 years .

A n y b o d y interested in taking

up korfball , contact the club pres­

ident , M a r c u s

(m.scot t i@ic .ac .uk) or see our

w e b page at:

www.uc l .ac .uk/~dmcbr i t/ULKC/.

Cricket IC 1st were playing in the s e m i ­

final . A s w e m a s s e d in the union

the signs w e r e g r i m . For a start

there w e r e three s e c o n d teamers .

H o w e v e r , it w a s a ta lented bunch

that arr ived at Har l ington , after w e

had d i s p o s e d of their firsts in the

previous years semi- f ina l .

The batt ing started sol idly wi th

j o n scor ing about as frequently as

his footbal l namesakes and Imran

Khan p lay ing nowhere near as wel l

as his. W e then a t t e m p t e d England

(cricket) style suic ide as w e lost

seven wickets for about fifty runs

before G r a h a m rescued the t e a m

with a sparkl ing 4 2 not out . O u r

final s c ore of 158 - 8 l o o k e d

respectable but the g o l d was yet to

c o m e .

Raj s tarted wi th a superb over

into the w i n d . M a r d a r t o o k t w o

wickets in his spel l , del iver ing the

ball like a tracer bullet, not bad for

a guy w i t h a girls ' n am e . Archi and

j o n t o o k m o s t of the remaining

wickets and IC Ists are into the

final to d e f e n d the title w e w o n last

year .

The final is W e d n e s d a y after­

n o o n a n d the c o a c h leaves at

1 2 . 3 0 p m f r o m the U n i o n . A l l sup­

porters are very w e l c o m e . It wil l be

a great day out .