170.1 ◆ thursday, january 10th, 2013 ◆ www.theontarion.com

The University of Guelph’s Independent Student Newspaperthe

. . .see transit page 6

contentsArts & Culture

Sports & Health

Life

Opinion

Editorial

Crossword

Community Listings

Classifieds

9 16 21 24 25 26 26 26

features

4 fooD RESEARCH

8 cfru GRANT

162013 IN SPORTS

Look out for bus route changes in JanuaryGuelph Transit adjusts arrival times after review of service

alicja grzadkowska

Exactly one year ago, the Guelph Transit introduced significant changes to bus routes and sched-ules that received mixed reviews from students who rely on city transportation. Since then, the Transit Growth Strategy (TGS) has undergone changes based on feedback from the communi-ty and participating drivers that have been summarized in the Guelph Transit Committee Re-port released in December and that much of Guelph’s popula-tion who regularly uses public transportation have been aware of throughout the transforma-tion process.

With the start of the new se-mester, more changes are being implemented based on a review process that took place in Septem-ber, and some of the changes will affect students. From the review process, the Operations, Transit and Emergency Services Com-mittee identified that one of the key issues in bus scheduling was that, “15 [per cent] of trips were late during weekdays and up to 25 [per cent] of connections could be missed” because of buses leaving the platform prior to the sched-uled departure time.

While much of this information

might seem dry to students, it is important that they take notice of the resulting changes, as the main adjustment means 20-min-ute peak service instead of the 15-minute peak service that was taking place last semester.

“Moving from a 15-minute to a 20-minute peak was primarily designed […] because of all the issues that we were encounter-ing on streets. We were missing a lot of our connections, so the move from 15 to 20 minutes is to address that specific purpose,” explained Michael Anders, the

general manager for Guelph Transit. The implementation of 20-minute peak arrival times has already affected the university express buses with more subtle changes appearing into January and February.

In addition to peak time service changing, Anders states that the 56 Express is now running on Vic-toria, as it was designed to in the fall, but couldn’t because of road detours, and the 5 Inbound and 5 Outbound have changed plat-forms at the UC bus loop.

“Those are the only changes that

students should see for January with the additional changes com-ing in February,” said Anders.

Anders also encourages stu-dents to check the Guelph Transit website for changes in order to make the transition easier for those trying to get to class on time.

“Sometime next week, […] we will have up on our website all of the new routing and all of the new schedules changes coming in February so students should keep an eye out [for them],” said Anders. “If they can take a few

Some changes are coming to the UC bus loop, but they won’t be significant.vaneSSa tignanelli

Global to Local: U of G students and staff on international and national news

The end of December was a busy time for the media as several shocking, worrisome, and horri-fying news stories were released to the public. While people cel-ebrated on New Year’s Eve, the U.S. government was attempting to avoid the fiscal cliff. The rape of a medical student on a bus in New Delhi, India, spurred riots in the state. The world did not come to an end, much to the disappointment of self-proclaimed Mayan calen-dar experts. And, the shooting at an elementary school in New-town, CT, was perhaps the most talked about news topic, to the anger of some, who commented on the over-reporting of certain aspects of the shooting. How-ever, during this exciting time period for news media, students and staff across the country were also on Winter break. The Ontar-ion was interested to see if people at the University of Guelph were paying attention to news as they enjoyed their relaxing time away from campus.

The Ontarion: What is the most in-teresting, surprising, or standout news related story that you heard over the Winter break?ali Magahay, student: I think the shooting in the States.Joseph oppedisano, student: Well, I obviously heard about the shooting in Connecticut, heard a lot about that. That’s probably the most interesting thing I heard about. I didn’t really listen to the news too much though.richard rusyn, student: I didn’t listen to too much of the news ei-ther, but I’d probably say the same thing, [the shooting], I heard a lot about that.Heather Heaton, admissions ser-vices staff member: I guess the [news story about] the poor girl in India, that was disgusting. Dave seymour, student: I liked that the NHL lockout is over, that’s pretty good news.

Thanks to the participants for this week’s interview. If you have an international news story that you want to see here, or if you want to be added to a mailing list of poten-tial interviewees, contact News Editor Alicja Grzadkowska at on-news@uoguelph.ca

“feces” could help the speciesU of G Robogut key to examining important bacteria

colleen mcdonell

You may not think twice about the organisms that live inside your body or what you flush down the toilet everyday. But there is one Guelph professor who takes these matters seriously.

U of G’s Molecular and Cellular Biology professor Emma Allen-Vercoe uses a unique mechanism called the “Robogut” in her lab. This one-of-a-kind system of flasks, tubes, and monitors sim-ulates the lower intestinal tract.

The Guelph microbiologist is looking for links between the digestive tract and disease. In Allen-Vercoe’s lab, otherwise known as the “RePOOPulation Station,” researchers have been using the Robogut since 2009 to study the ecology of the gut. Mimicking the human distal gut

–– a complicated system of hun-dreds of species – the Robotgut is given human stool and mi-crobe “food” and it produces a liquid waste of microbes and their

byproducts.“I think it comes as a surprise

to most people actually how much our gut flora influences our health,” said Allen-Vercoe.

The Robogut grows complex ecosystems of bacteria, virus-es and other microorganisms that live in the human intes-tines. Instead of just studying such species in isolation, as done the in the past, the ma-chine allows researchers to study the way these organisms in-teract in their environment. Prof. Allen-Vercoe says under-standing the “communities” of bugs in a healthy gut will help researchers uncover their role in everything from digestion and nutrient absorption to conditions such as inflammatory bowel dis-ease and colorectal cancer.

“We are interested in model-ing the gut microbes because we are interested in what the gut microbes are doing in terms of ecology,” says Allen Vercoe.

“Whereas in the past they’ve re-ally just been used for looking at the breaking down of food prod-ucts or antibiotics.”

The Robogut has also produced microbes never before grown in

a lab. Some of such have gone to the Human Microbiome Project, an initiative by the U.S. National Institutes of Health to map the genetic sequences of all the mi-crobes that live inside and on the human body. Allen-Vercoe is one of several Canadians on the team.

Scientists are also using sam-ples from the Robogut lab to examine the connections be-tween bacterial imbalances and conditions that one may not think are related to the gut, such as asthma, obesity, and regressive autism. Currently, Allen-Vercoe is working with researchers at other universities to investigate the links between gut bacteria and regressive autism, in the hopes to find answers that can apply to a broader picture of gut interaction with mood disorders and brain development.

For some, the unmistakable odour of the Robogut apparatus can be a major turn off from pur-suing research. However, the U of G professor considers it just another part of the RePOOPula-tion Station.

“Once you get past the ick factor, it’s fascinating,” Allen-Vercoe told the Toronto Star.

news 3170.1 ◆ january 10th, 2013

Eye exams on site!

Eye Exams UC - Level 1 Ext. 55620 Email ucvision@rogers.ca

FREE LENSES!

•CONTACT LENSES•EYEGLASSES•SUNGLASSES•

charging upGuelph Hydro and Stone Road Mall partner up to make driving green more achievable

andrew donovan

On Dec. 12, Guelph Hydro pre-sented a demonstration of the newly-installed electric vehicle charging stations in the parking lot of the Stone Road Mall.

The charging stations serve two parking spots near the rear of the lot in front of the mall’s main en-trance and are outfitted to serve five different vehicles thus far: the Ford Transit Connect electric ser-vice van, the Chevrolet Volt, the Nissan Leaf, the Mitsubishi i-Miev, and the Via Motors VTrux extend-ed range electric (eREV) pickup. The vehicle accommodations are for both town service vehicles and passenger vehicles alike.

Guelph is now part of the over-100 electric vehicle charg-ing stations across the expansive Trans-Canada Highway and ac-cording to Scott Lindsay, manager of Operations at the Stone Road Mall, this project has been a long time coming.

“Actually, we had been waiting for the market to increase here in Guelph. We had been looking at

these since 2008 [and] at this point we could not locate any vehicles in the area or any on the areas auto-motive orders for the next year. So the joint venture and the market conditions changed at a perfect time. We were also looking at a solar version of this at the time.”

Barry Chuddy, CEO, Guelph Hydro Inc., noted the need to cut back on greenhouse gas emissions

as being a driving factor in this project.

“Recognizing that transporta-tion accounts for almost one third of Canada’s greenhouse gas emis-sions, our goal in installing this charging station is to encourage the use of electric vehicles. Stone Road Mall is a perfect location for a charging station because driv-ers can shop while their vehicle

is charging.”As the market for electric ve-

hicle charging stations continues to grow in Guelph and abroad, so too does the need for these sta-tions, and according to Guelph Hydro’s press release on the ini-tial unveiling, there are plans for more of these stations in Guelph in the future.

The proposition thus far is to

have more electric car charging stations in downtown Guelph and one in the north end as well. The public is asked to input their suggestions on the matter and ap-propriate contact information is made readily available online.

Lindsay noted that although there has been good reception on the initiative, there are drivers who don’t abide by the designation of the parking spots as being for elec-tric cars only. Although there is no law preventing anyone from using those particular spots, it would be courteous to leave the spots for the cars they initially intended to serve.

There is certainly a push to make the community more environmen-tally conscious, and Mayor Karen Farbridge’s comments on the un-veiling were certainly in tune with this sentiment.

“Transportation has been iden-tified as a major contributor to Guelph’s greenhouse gas emis-sions and is a key component of the Community Energy Initiative. To that end, we encourage the use of electric vehicles and, as a grow-ing community, it’s important we look forward and build the energy infrastructure we will need in the future. Electric vehicles will play an important role in the communities of tomorrow and I thank Guelph Hydro for leading the way.”

a few mall parking spots will now be reserved for electric vehicles that need charging.vaneSSa tignanelli

canadian food budgets may be strained this yearIndex shows price hikes are expected for 2013

alicja grzadkowska

Students and the Guelph commu-nity might have to tighten their budgets in the next year when it comes to spending at supermar-kets and restaurants as food prices are predicted to increase in 2013.

In December, the University of Guelph released the Food Price Index for the upcoming year, which involved the work of Dr. Sylvain Charlebois, Dr. Francis Tapon, Dr. Erna van Duren, Dr. Michael von Massow, and M.Sc. candidate Warren Pinto.

Last year’s food price changes were compatible with the index released for 2012, which predicted that, “projected food prices [will] increase no more than two [per cent].” The real data showed an in-crease of one per cent for all foods.

The index analyzed macro-economic, sector, and domestic factors that may have an impact on food prices, and this year’s index cites the climate, geopolitical/economic risks, and low infla-tion as just a few of the drivers of food pricing for this year. The low

inflation period in particular will be a major factor in highlighting the impact of gas and food price increases, according to the report.

“We expect food price hikes to exceed our national inflation rate. Practically, it means consum-ers will be asked to compromise some items on their budget to sup-port food purchases,” explained Charlebois, the associate dean for the College of Management and Economics.

The final numbers in the report predict an increase in meat prices of 4.5 to 6.5 per cent, grain pric-es of 1.4 to 2.7 per cent, and eggs prices of 3.5 to five per cent while fruits and nuts, vegetables, fish and seafood, and dairy will be ex-pected to rise one to three per cent. The drought in the U.S. last year significantly affected the expected prices for meat in 2013.

“As grain prices increased be-cause of the U.S. drought, farmers brought their inventory to slaugh-ter much faster,” noted Charlebois.

“As a result, it brought down prices for a while. However, because the inventories are now much lower than last year’s now, pressures on beef production and distribution will arise.”

Students, who are already on low spending budgets, should expect

to be affected by these price hikes, says von Massow, an assistant pro-fessor for the School of Hospitality and Tourism Management.

“Students are like everyone else; they buy groceries, so they will be affected the same as everyone else by rising food prices,” said von Massow. “And in fact, because students are probably on average

lower income, they’ll feel the pinch more.”

Charlebois added that cooking might help students deal with ris-ing prices.

“An increasing number of stu-dents are visiting food banks, and Guelph is no exemption. But we also see more students interested in cooking and preparing foods.

Cooking is about taking ownership of food processing. The more you cook, the less likely you are to buy processed foods. Such an approach significantly reduces food costs.”

However, the report also stated that the opening of Target in 2013 might help to reduce food pric-es as the market becomes more competitive.

Researchers predict that the opening of guelph’s target location will counteract the rising food prices with the city.

vaneSSa tignanelli

www.theontarion.com news4

. . .transit continued

new year, new you, so time to butt outRegistration for Guelph’s Leave the Pack Behind contest begins this month

andrew donovan

The University of Guelph Leave the Pack Behind initiative, a prov-ince-wide university stop smoking organization, is hosting a contest for regular smokers, social smokers and non-smokers alike in the month of January, the month of resolutions and fresh starts. The contest provides stu-dents with the opportunity to quit their habits and win prizes.

Registration for this contest will run from the start of classes through to Jan. 27 at booths that will be lo-cated in six different locations across campus. The contest itself will require contestants to sign up with a buddy, and both are eligible for prizes upon completion.

Leave the Pack Behind offers on- and off-campus stop smoking aids for students, including free survival kits, self-help programs, office hours, as well as the aforementioned contest to entice and assist students to drop a potentially life threatening habit.

“The contest is called ‘Would You Rather,’ and it is a six week contest

which participants can register for online,” said Campus Program Coor-dinator Tess Ingram, one of the leading hands in this campaign.

There are four categories to make the contest all-inclusive, the first being the “Quit for Good” category. Contes-tants in this category are regular, heavy smokers that must quit outright for six weeks, and provide a urine test on campus upon completion. The second category is called “Keep the Count,” and contestants must reduce their cigarette consumption by 50 per cent over the period. The third category is

“Party Without the Smoke” whereby participants – social smokers – must abstain from smoking while consum-ing alcohol. This category, according to Ingram, makes up the majority of smokers on campus.

Lastly is the “Don’t Start and Win” category. It’s simple; participants that don’t smoke must keep that habit, or lack thereof, intact for the six weeks.

“Those participating in the ‘Quit for Good’ category are the only ones re-quired to provide a urine sample upon completion. The other three catego-ries will work off the buddy system,” noted Ingram.

The contest is being run across cam-puses in Ontario where Leave the Pack Behind has representatives, and priz-es are quite extensive, like cash prizes

on the provincial level and Starbucks gift cards, massages, gift cards to a few local restaurants, and much more on the campus level.

A 2007 study out of Brock Univer-sity, coincidentally the headquarters for Leave the Pack Behind, found that young adults in Canada aged 17 to 24 have the highest portion of smokers

of all age cohorts at 26 per cent. Of the young adult population, univer-sity students reported regular daily use rates of 7 per cent of what the study called “tobacco products.”

Furthermore, in Canada, cancer is responsible for 29.6 per cent of deaths and lung cancer leads the mortality rate of all cancers at 27 per cent.

Students interested in participating in the contest can speak to the repre-sentatives at booths across campus or take a look at the material that Leave the Pack Behind provides online.

“This is for a really good cause and it’s a cause that effects so many students…we’re hoping for a good turnout of participants,” said Ingram.

The on-campus contest is encouraging people to quit smoking or stay smoke-free.

vaneSSa tignanelli

newsology: The least important news of 2012alicja grzadkowska

With the amount of hard-hitting, and sometimes difficult to process, news stories that took place in 2012, it was hard for a few smaller and less important stories to make it to the front pages. However, with the yearend editions of magazines and newspapers coming out recent-ly, which summarize the news of the year, it’s the perfect time to ac-knowledge all of the newsroom small fries that didn’t quite make it on any top-ten lists.

the ‘other’ Zuckerberg’s photo “scandal”In December, a private family photo posted on Facebook by Randi Zuck-erberg, Mark’s older sister (who also happens to be wealthy), was tweeted by Vox Media, and quickly became viral to, apparently, a lot of

interested viewers who care what the Zuckerberg family does in their private time. The Internet entrepre-neur, the older one that is, was not happy with the conduct of the re-tweeter and told them off with a quip on “human decency.” Sorry Randi, but with the popularity of Instagram and the high volume of nude celeb-rity photos available on the Internet today, personal photos of rich people are the petty change of the web, and seriously, the leaking of these photos is not that important.

Justin Bieber and selena Gomez break-up and reuniteAs The Ontarion loves writing about Bieber, it was hard not to include him on this list. The tween couple ended their two-year relationship in 2012 due to supposed “jealousy” issues, but their feud didn’t last for very long, and they were back together only a

few weeks after the media caught on to their break-up. Though the 32 mil-lion Beliebers would disagree with the declaration of this topic as irrelevant, the rest of the world could care less about the “struggles” of teenage mil-lionaire pop stars.

Grandmother finds colony of ants in her cadbury’s cream eggAt the beginning of the summer, The Daily Mail reported on this fascinat-ing story, which, though shocking, is no longer surprising after the amount of body parts that have been found inside of food in recent years. Heath-er Manzie’s description of how the events unfolded is, however, enter-taining to read.

“I was having a wee break from work and I ate one of the eggs, which was fine, and put the other one down on the table…Half an hour later, I saw an ant coming out of the seam of the

egg’s foil paper…I got the egg, ran outside, split it open, and was horri-fied to find there was a colony of ants inside – about 50 or 60 of them.” Ad-mittedly gross, but not that important.

iPhones and thefts, and elephants2012 was certainly the year of the iPhone, with news media clamor-ing to report the latest information on the release of the phone’s newest

version, as well as the latest, not so surprising, news over the number of iPhone thefts. New York City Mayor Bloomberg summed up the sticky-finger year well with his discussion on the rise of robberies in NYC, which he blamed on stolen iPhones and iPads. And, over the final weekend of 2012, an unidentified elephant in Thailand swallowed a tourist’s iPhone. And all the PC users cheered.

minutes to just review the chang-es that are coming, that would be appreciated.”

And while the changes may frustrate students who are used to 15 minute peak times, it is important to note both that construction and winter weath-er impede significantly on arrival times, which means that buses will now have more time to get

between stops despite the obsta-cles, and that the Guelph Transit has worked with, and will con-tinue to work with, the student population to ensure that their needs are being met.

“We’re trying to make the ser-vice better,” said Anders. “We have a good working relationship with the CSA and the GSA through the Transit Committee, and we’ve certainly taken feedback from

them, in terms of them being a voice for the students so we ap-preciate that effort.”

www.theontarion.com news6

new year, new you, so time to butt out

newsology: The least important news of 2012

academic radio to bring research to the airwavesGrant to CFRU sponsors new initiatives

nick revington

Students may soon find them-selves able to present a radio show on campus radio station CFRU 93.3 FM instead of writing an essay or presenting in class as part of their course grades. The initiative is called Academic Radio and is one of three programs the radio station is pursuing after receiving a $20,000 grant from the Community Radio Fund of Canada. In addition to Academic Radio, the station will also run a summer radio day camp and a Media Literacy and Media Activ-ism workshop for high schools in the region.

“The three projects together are more or less to strengthen our ties to educators and stu-dents in Guelph. That’s sort of the theme,” said Station Man-ager Peter Bradley.

Academic Radio is getting off the ground this semester, as CFRU will be hiring a coordinator to mentor students and faculty who are interested in seeing their research broadcast over the air-waves. The aim is to connect the campus and local community to the research being undertaken at the university.

“Basically, we will work with students and professors and in some cases entire classrooms, to translate the research that they

are doing through their class work or independent research into media,” said Bradley. “And they’ll be doing that for credit, instead of a traditional writ-ten thesis or an essay or a class presentation.”

For example, an upcoming por-tion of the program will showcase a first-year seminar course called Being Canadian, led by Dr. Cath-erine Carstairs. The major output of students in the class will be to produce a radio program with CFRU.

“So part of the work we will be doing with full classrooms like that, and I think the first-year seminar program is a really good partnership for us,” said Bradley.

“It makes a lot of sense; it introdu-ces students to new ways of doing things and research methods.”

But other students, such as upper-year undergraduates or masters students, are welcome to participate in the program. The Academic Radio program hopes to be able to work one-on-one with a number of students and their faculty advisors to help the students prepare documentary-style radio programs about their research.

“Students in a normal class could approach their professor and ask if they could do radio instead of an essay. We’re all ears for that. I’m sort of expecting that some upper-year independent studies unit students will be inspired by this option and take us up on it,” said Bradley.

Bradley added that the pro-gram is open to students in any subject, and any type of research

– though points out that it would be particularly well-suited to researchers who would like to engage with primary sources through interviews. In order to get involved, Bradley recom-mends emailing info@cfru.ca for more information, but notes that due to time constraints, there are a limited number of spots available.

“I think it is wide open. I’m really excited to see who comes

out of the woodwork and who engages with this,” said Bradley.

“So far, I’ve found people around campus, like faculty and admin-istration, to be very supportive of this, and that’s been exciting.”

The grant will also allow the station to run three camps in the summer, for youth aged 10 to 12, 13 to 14, and 15 to 16, re-spectively. Each camp is expected to have about nine participants along with one counselor and two assistants. Besides the typical summer camp activities, par-ticipants would be able to put

together their own small radio programs while learning about the behind-the-scenes activities at a radio station.

The final project funded by the grant is the Media Literacy and Media Activism work-shop. Geared primarily toward high schools, Bradley said the workshop would serve to teach students about bias in the media, and help them think critically about how issues are portrayed in the media, from the mainstream, to the CBC, to alternatives such as CFRU.

CFRU’s Peter Bradley hopes a recent grant to the station will allow U of g researchers to gain more exposure in the media.

vaneSSa tignanelli

Movie review – The Hobbit: An Unexpected JourneyTolkien classic entertains, but it’s no LOTR

nick revington

I suppose I will come right out and say it: I didn’t like the first film installment of The Hobbit as directed by Peter Jackson. Sure, it was entertaining, and it is a must-see for those who have either read the book by J.R.R. Tolkien or seen Jackson’s movie version of Tolkien’s Lord of the Rings series. But disappoint-ingly, it in no way compares to the masterpiece that was the Lord of the Rings series.

The special effects, for start-ers, are impressive – but they feel a little more like show-ing off than truly adding to the cinematic experience. Indeed, the use of computer-generated graphics is ubiquitous in this film. That is to be expected these days, and with the state of the art now, it is not usually

a problem. It became a problem when Jackson insisted the film be shown in 48 frames per sec-ond instead of the standard 24.

The high frame rate is meant

to create a clearer, more vibrant appearance. And that was ac-complished, to unexpectedly disastrous effect. It not only made the computer-generat-ed components of the movie

seem – to me – less realistic, it made the real components look so real that they appeared fake. For instance, with much brighter grass and flowers, the same idyllic set of the Shire ap-peared starkly different than in the Lord of the Rings.

Throughout the entire film, the atmosphere is similarly dis-torted from its portrayal in the earlier film franchise. Some might argue that this is a differ-ent (but related) storyline and therefore these drastic changes in the way the fictional world of Middle-Earth is portrayed are acceptable. To that, I would counter that it conflicts with the ancient and misty history of a place that seems to be eternal: the aesthetic of the film ought to reflect the aesthetic of the tale.

What An Unexpected Journey has going for it is that it repre-sents only the first of three parts of the original book. While no film adaptation of a book can truly capture the depth writ-ten into it, at least this one

does not seek to chop out all the good bits. In fact, it draws in elements from the numerous

appendices and other writings of Tolkien, actually adding some depth.

CoURteSy

9arts & cuLture 170.1 ◆ january 10th, 2013

Rafaela é,

album review: scott walker – Bish BoschLegendary weirdo challenges the loyalty of his following

robyn nicholson

To be painfully honest, the chances of the average listen-er tolerating, let alone enjoying, Scott Walker’s latest album Bish Bosch without having any pre-vious knowledge of the artist’s work are slim to none. Scott Walker has made a career, and a long career at that, out of being extraordinarily outlandish and yet still managing to create a mass cult following – a follow-ing which includes David Bowie and Radiohead among other il-lustrious weirdos.

Original ly from Hamil-ton, Walker (born Noel Scott Engel) got his unlikely start as a ‘60s crooner at the front of The Walker Brothers in Lon-don, England. Even early on, it was readily apparent that the United Kingdom offered Walker an audience far wider and more appreciative than North Amer-ica ever would. After an initial

struggle with solo success, re-sulting in a brief reunion with the Brothers, Walker finally re-turned to his solo work for good by the mid-1980s, abandoning popular styles for much more experimental approaches. A smooth and sonically pleasing vocal delivery remained but the lush studio accompaniments and catchy song-writing which the Walker Brothers were known for was now replaced with jarring and often unsettling avant-garde compositions. It is this particu-lar combination which persists in Walker’s latest effort.

The album itself seems to be intentionally difficult to listen to. Filled with jarring industrial noise, ominous and often creepy drones and even what sound like recordings of flatulence (classy touch indeed), Walker’s strong stunning vocals combine and yet sometimes clash with the grind-ing noise going on underneath. In short, this is not an album to casually throw on at a dinner party: it is an album to listen to alone and ponder deeply over. While the vocals still, as always, provide endless sonic intrigue,

not to mention the lyrical con-tent which ranges from the profound to the blatantly lit-eral (at which point, the listener cannot really be sure whether Walker is provoking deep analy-sis or simply providing comedic relief during an otherwise diffi-

cult listening experience), it is still a trying sound overall, to say the least. It is a sound which is equal parts funny and tragic. The tracks, while consistently interesting (whether that be a good or bad kind of interest), have the ability to simultan-eously entertain, frustrate and altogether repulse the listener in a matter of seconds.

Here lies the problem: an artist or group who is just beginning could not pull off this album. It simply would not be tolerated, and yet one who has been well-established as a strange, albeit innovative, legend can be high-ly acclaimed for the same type of output. Some may not regard this as problematic at all, and more practically as a result of a long-working artist having ‘paid their dues,’ so to speak, and thus earning the right to do, ‘what-ever they bloody well please.’ Having no prior knowledge or experience with Scott Walker, however, this reviewer found it difficult to conduct an objective listening practice once further research had been conducted. Walker has a cultural presence that seems to stretch beyond mere notoriety and verge more on a mythical status.

Despite these issues, the album is worth a listen, even if only to peak one’s curiosity. Those who are more invested and passionate about the experimental and the avant-garde might even go so far as to enjoy it. There is a rea-son why Scott Walker has such a

larger-than-life reputation: the album, along with most of those that came before it, is undeni-ably inventive, fascinating, and freshly modern, which is quite a feat considering Walker’s long career. In addition to this, like it or not, the content, both son-ically and lyrically, is endlessly provocative. Walker forceful-ly combines the high art of the avant-garde with unflinchingly vulgar and often violent lyrics involving, for example, “reek-ing gonads” and a “wormy anus.” It is music which is begging for an extreme reaction, and be-cause Walker is so immovably established already as an artist, it really doesn’t matter wheth-er that reaction is negative or positive.

For fans of Walker, all this provocation is no surprise, and instead it is expected and in many cases highly anticipated. For newcomers, however, it can be a rough introduction to a whole weird world of Walk-er’s making. Perhaps it is a world you never want to visit again, or maybe, just maybe, it is the world you’ve been searching for.

Bill Killionaire drops debut ePFrontman Scott Haynes credits local music scene for success

nick revington

Bill Killionaire has lately be-come somewhat of a staple of the Guelph live music scene. It is no surprise; the band has been at it for several years in a variety of forms. What may be surpris-ing to some is that their Jan. 5 show at Van Gogh’s Ear marked the first release of any recordings by the band. Part of local produc-tion group Gain Music’s Guelph Release Series which continues through the month, Bill Killion-aire played through all four songs on their EP, Loose Noon, before treating the crowd to some un-recorded material.

“I think in April, it will probably be about two years, but it’s been a one-piece, two-piece, three-piece, and four-piece band. But it’s always been Nathan [Cam-pagnaro] as our drummer,” said self-described “Bill Korp CEO” Scott Haynes. (In plain terms, Haynes is lead singer, guitarist, and songwriter.)

“We’ve only played two shows with this actual lineup, but we’ve been together since the summer,” said Haynes. “We all wanted to get the EP out before we did a lot of shows, so we finally did that.

And everyone else in the band is in about four other bands, so it’s hard to get us all together.”

In fact, the difficulty in getting the band together led to the name Loose Noon.

“It’s hard to get these guys together so we have a weekend, we’re like we’ve got this block of time, it’s the daytime, because someone’s got a show, someone’s got to work, so it was like, ‘it’s noon.’ But I was like, ‘well, it’s a loose noon,’ because the first time noon turned out to be 1:45 [p.m.] and the next time turned out to be 12:45 [p.m.], so we were doing better,” explained Haynes.

Haynes credits moving to Guelph from Paris, Ontario four years ago with helping to kick start a musical career.

“There wasn’t really music-al community [in Paris]. My friends were into it; they would see it and they would enjoy it, but they weren’t that interest-ed. My bands back home, they just did it because it was fun,” said Haynes. “But when I came to Guelph, the people I met were more productive. There [are] all the different skills that go into making music. You need other people to bring you in. You stand on each other’s shoulders and pull each other along, and I never really had that. I was always the most enthusiastic person, and so to go to a town with people that

are more enthusiastic – it’s bet-ter to be trying to keep up with people than having people to catch up to you.”

Loose Noon itself offers up a sampling of some of Bill Killion-aire’s best songs, with a warm DIY feel (the band recorded the EP in bassist Alex Ricci’s apart-ment studio) and a raucous yet restrained rock and roll vibe. They feel like they come from a decade or two ago, but in a

good way. Listening to them brings about the same feeling as discovering something neat hid-den under a veneer of dust in the basement.

Two bands opened the show for Bill Killionaire. The first, Familiar Fiend, brought a driv-ing punk sound but the musical energy largely failed to translate to strong stage presence. Addi-tionally, the performance felt sloppy and had a tendency to

over-use deliberate feedback ef-fects. Two-piece Cursed Arrows took over the stage next, and re-sponded with a demonstration of what driving garage-punk ought to sound like. But at the end of it all, this was Bill Killionaire’s big night, as the sizeable crowd that stuck it out to the end despite running late can attest.

Visit www.theontarion.com for a web-exclusive photo reel.

CoURteSy

Scott Haynes, left, and Dan loughrin perform material from Bill Killionaire’s eP loose noon at the release show on Jan. 5.

WenDy SHePHeRD

“When I came to Guelph, the people I met were more productive.” – Scott Haynes

www.theontarion.com arts & cuLture10

what The tech?New computing technology takes the fiction out of science fiction

nick revington

It is a scene common to movies and TV shows set in the future: the protagonist pulls up some kind of computer interface with just a movement of their hands in thin air, and then proceeds to type, zoom and otherwise navigate cyberspace with hand gestures towards a translucent holographic screen in mid-air. It is a staple of science fiction and the unrealisti-cally advanced crime labs of some otherwise contemporary forensics dramas. Following in the footsteps of other inventions pioneered by the imaginations of science fiction writers (cell phones, submarines, the International Space Station, to

name but a few examples), these high tech computer navigation methods may soon be reality.

A technology company called Leap Motion has announced that it has developed a device that would enable computers to be controlled by finger movement rather than a traditional keyboard and mouse. Currently only available for pre-order, the iPod-sized controller works in a manner not unlike the Xbox Kinect and similar game systems. The difference is that while these games track move-ment generally, Leap Motion’s device is purportedly capable of tracing finger movements to an incredibly precise 1/100th of a millimeter. According to the company’s website, this makes it 200 times more accurate than any existing product.

With obviously practical appli-cations for gaming, graphic design, and 3D design, software enabled

with Leap Motion compatibil-ity would allow a touch-free computing experience virtual-ly straight out of the movies. It could allow touch-free sign-offs on deliveries or credit card pay-ments, doing away with those bulky stylus devices used to col-lect signatures digitally nowadays. More importantly, it could allow surgeons to access medical data on the fly without worrying about cross-contamination from touch-ing computer keyboards.

This innovation brings us halfway to the fancy computer interfaces of futuristic movies. All we need now is to develop a fancy holographic screen that can be summoned in mid-air. As it turns out, this sort of technology essentially exists already. It is re-ally the relatively simple matter of combining the two that stands in the way of taking the fiction out of science fiction.

Futuristic holographic and interactive computer interfaces like the one tony Stark uses in Iron Man are rapidly becoming more science than science fiction.

CoURteSy

Pop Machine: Django rechainedLine of slave

dolls promoting Django Unchained undoes sensitivity of Tarantino’s film

tom beedham

There’s an early moment in Quentin Tarantino’s latest film – the Spa-ghetti Westernized slave revenge epic Django Unchained – where the transcendentally minded, Ger-man-born bounty hunter Dr. King Schultz (Christoph Waltz) confesses to the title character (Jamie Foxx) that although his profession is op-portunistic, he “despises slavery” and wishes to do something about it. The scene can be received as a direct nod from its director to the criticism you can anticipate in response to any film that fictionalizes the era of slavery. It acknowledges the argu-ment that points out the necessary opportunism involved in channeling the historical subjection of a people (and its residual contempt of its op-pressors) for plot fodder, and at the same time, it is a meta-comment

that says that although such creative approaches are problematized, that shouldn’t prevent us from pursuing new ways to do (or say) something about the issues at hand.

Still, Tarantino’s undertak-ing took the risk of trivializing the struggles endured by slavery’s sur-vivors and victims – a concern many groups and individuals have voiced in reaction to Django Unchained. He is, after all, the director that had Eli Roth make Swiss cheese of Hitler in Inglourious Basterds.

Without the space required of an exegesis that could properly hash out whether Tarantino’s film was in fact racist or trivializing, upon a close viewing of Tarantino’s film, it is possible to say that while the film still harnesses the visceral techniques that returning viewers have come to expect of Tarantino’s pictures, it contains aspects that suggest its sensitivity as well as a larger goal of promoting discussion.

Critics have often complained of Tarantino’s cartoonish appli-cation of ultra-violence and gore, and they’re present in Django, but the way they’re used here is rec-ognizably intended to illustrate

the horrors of slavery and tap into viewer empathy. Sure, there’s the retribution violence involved in Django and Schultz hunting down and exterminating redneck slave owners (and those scenes are hard to confuse as anything but his-torical fantasy), but there’s also a brutal “Mandingo” fight scene in which two black slaves are forced by their owners to fight to the death for sport; dogs effectively tear apart a live slave; and the lashings and brandings of slaves (as well as the resulting scars) are given plenty of screen time – all to reflect the physi-cal horrors of slavery. Django also has the merit of exposing the reality of slavery time that involved slaves who became legally “free” still hav-ing to suffer the systemic racism of their containing cultures.

While Tarantino’s film has rec-ognizable intentions that are worth arguing for, it’s a lot harder to say the same for a line of dolls being used as promotional devices for the new blockbuster.

Last fall, the National Enter-tainment Collectibles Association, Inc. (NECA), in association with the Weinstein Company (the

company handling North American distribution for Django Unchained) announced a line of pose-able eight-inch dolls in the likeness of Foxx and Waltz’s characters, as well as those played by Leonardo DiCaprio, Sam-uel L. Jackson, James Remar, and Kerry Washington in Tarantino’s film.

Since then, the line has come under fire from advocacy group Project Islamic Hope, whose di-rector Najee Ali says the toys are “a slap in the face of our ancestors,”

“trivializ[ing] the horrors of slavery.”And the criticism is hardly

contrarian. While the line also features figu-

rines for white characters Schultz, Francophile slave owner Calvin Can-die and his bodyguard Butch Pooch, and a collection short of Django’s black characters would also be out-rageous, the Django Unchained merchandise can be deemed noth-ing less than exploitive, distasteful and disrespectful for immediately involving the metaphorical mar-keting of slavery and approving the perpetuation of the phenomenon of the black slave by selling Django, Stephen (Jackson), and Broomhilda

(Washington) dolls.Tarantino has had similar lines

of figures released in tandem with previous films, but none of those in-volved characters that were slaves.

Removed from the context of the narrative to which they belong and placed on any separate platform, the toys also serve as oversimpli-fied, caricaturized representations of African-American slavery; the course of Django Unchained rep-resents a spectrum of slave classes that includes house and field slaves and different ranks of slaves with-in those categories, but the slave characters featured in NECA’s line are sold wearing either traditional house slave garbs, or – in Django’s case – the clothes of an emancipated slave. By result – through their line of dolls – NECA, the Weinstein Compa-ny, and Tarantino participate in the veiling and denial of an entire indus-try of slavery, depicting the reality of slavery as having involved specific privileges that were not as exclu-sively prevalent as their toys suggest and countering any sensitivity they might have claimed through the film itself. Let’s hope for a lengthy apol-ogy from all parties involved.

arts & cuLture 13170.1 ◆ january 10th, 2013

2012-YEAR IN REVIEW2012-YEAR IN REVIEWThe ten biggest arts and culture moments of last semester

Nick ReviNgtoN

King Cobb Steelie reissues Project Twinkle: it’s a bit of a way-back play-back, but during the ’90s, kcS was considered the guelph indie band. Project Twinkle was a particularly influential alternative album that

combined an impressive number of genres.

The Sheepdogs sell out Guelph Concert Theatre: The vintage-inspired rockers filled the venue to capacity alongside Yukon Blonde on Nov. 29.

Inaugural Ontario International Poetry Slam: Hosted in guelph on Nov. 10, the event drew in poets from across North America. Alvin Lau of chicago, ill. took home the $5000 first prize.

MacHomer comes to River Run Centre: The hilarious one-man Simpsons-themed interpretation of MacBeth by Rick Miller played one of its final shows ever in guelph in November.

Dan Mangan plays Peter Clark Hall: Mangan split the stage with the Rural Alberta Advantage for a lively concert in the Uc basement on oct. 26.

Smaro Kamboureli has Canada Research Chair renewed: The can-lit professor renewed funding for the prestigious government funding program. kamboureli established the transcanada institute to provide a space for the study of canadian literature.

Judith Thompson wins award: The U of g theatre professor received the Herbert-Whittaker-ctcA Award for contributions to canadian theatre.

Yarn: internationally-renowned guelph artist Janet Morton’s yarn-themed exhibit The Ravelled Sleeve opened at the Macdonald Stewart Art centre in September; by coincidence, the same weekend saw St. george’s Square covered in knitwork by a yarn bombing event for culture Days.

Nuit Blanche and the Guelph Jazz Festival: guelph’s all-night arts festival featured a number of interesting events including acrobatic dancers, a silent dance party, and studio open houses. it coincided with the guelph Jazz Festival, which saw an impressive lineup of free and ticketed concerts.

A&CThe five best books I read this yearALicJA gRzADkoWSkA

Dear Life by Alice Munro (2012)Alice Munro has won what seems to be every award for fiction writing possible, and her newest collection of short stories deserves no less recognition. The author’s ability to create a setting, and then gradually fill it in with character details and plot made the stories captivating and often unexpectedly climactic. For those who think that narratives about life in ontario are boring and lacking in an energy that’s present in more “worldly” novels, Munro will completely alter your beliefs. Her final stories in the collection, which she identifies as somewhat autobiographical, are likewise compelling and provide a somber finish to the text.

Lullabies for Little Criminals by Heather O’Neill (2006)told from the perspective of a young girl, this story is both disturbing and moving. Set in Montréal, the book describes the life of a young drug

addict and his even younger, extremely intelligent daughter who are trapped in a downwards spiral of misery. Drug abuse, sex trade, and homelessness are all topics that appear throughout the book, and all contain the father-daughter rela-

tionship within them. Though it sounds depressing, the novel is also filled with feelings of hope, and the ending satisfies the reader as well as reflecting similar feelings of promise.

The Virgin Suicides by Jeffrey Eugenides (1993)From the start of the story, this novel describes a gruesome affair, and details exactly what will happen in the course of the book, made even more evident by the title of the text. Despite this re-

veal, the plot is gripping and holds the reader’s attention throughout the story. Somehow, the novel retains a sense of unpredictability in the midst of its obvious conclusion, which signals eugenides’

significant talent in fiction writing.

11 / 22 / 63 by Stephen King (2011)in this novel, Stephen king takes a break from his typically horrific and terrifying novels to write about time travel and the JFk assas-sination. From the first few pages of the text, the reader is sucked in, as with many of king’s novels, and though the book is different from The Shining or Misery, it is similarly frightening in its own ways. While i disagree with the outcome of events towards the end of the book, it’s evident that king has not lost any of his writing capabilities, and continues to produce thought-provoking and in-somnia-inducing works.

The Reader by Bernhard Schlink (1995)Though this book came out almost a decade ago in germany, its story communicates an important topic: the lasting effects of the german people’s actions during the Holocaust. The relationship between a teenage boy and a much older woman is controversial and alarming at the same time as it is romantic and likeable, which sums up the mixed feelings of the reader at the end of the book.

Top Gryphon (Sports) Moments of 2012cHRiS MüLLeR

7-Peat? 8-Peat? It’s a dynasty, right? Both the men and women’s teams captured gold in the ciS cross-country championships in London, oN. on Nov. 10, 2012. it was the seventh straight national title for the men, and the eight consecutive title for the women – all captured on a cold fall afternoon in November.

Ti-Cats to call Alumni Stadium home in 2013the newly renovated Alumni Stadium will be the home venue for the 2013 Hamilton tiger-cats. the announcement came on Nov. 20 when the university detailed an agreement in principle with the cFL team for the upcoming season. the addition of temporary seating, concessions, and other necessary facilities for the game will more than double the current capacity of the stadium for the tiger-cat’s use.

Playoff-Bound Gryphonsevery recognized athletic team sport at the University of guelph made their league’s playoffs or played in addition to regular season play. it was the first recognized time this had happened in gryphon history.

Building Potential Campaign unveiledthe university committed to providing world-class athletic training facilities for its students, student-athletes, faculty, and members of the guelph community with the launching of the “Building Potential” campaign. With a lofty goal of $20 million, the campaign is seeking to raise the necessary

capital to construct new facilities and renovate outdated ones, while main-taining a constant interest in the well-being of members of the university community and the greater guelph area.

The Moo-U Miracle: Guelph 42, Queen’s 39in one of the greatest events in gryphon football history, guelph over-came a 21-point deficit with 10:08 remaining in the fourth quarter to set the stage for overtime, when Jazz Lindsey hit Mike Fortino for a game-winning touchdown that punched the team’s ticket to the 105th Yates cup.

books

sports

Looking ahead to 2013A few things to look forward to in the new semester

Chris Müller

As we begin the first few weeks of the new semester, now seems as good a time as any to take a look ahead and see what’s on tap for Gryphon athletics over the next few months.

SoccerFest, an all-day soccer marathon organized by Guel-phiteSports will be taking place in the fieldhouse on Jan. 12. The event will feature 32 teams and 350 players participating in a huge tournament over the course of the whole day. Playoffs will determine a championship game where the winner will re-ceive a $1,000 prize.

An after-party is being held at Atmosphere Café on Carden Street and will celebrate what looks to be a day of celebration for the beautiful game. The ini-tiative of the event is to promote fair play, teamwork, communi-cation, creativity, and fun in the Guelph community through the world’s most well-loved sport.

Building on the success of

last year’s SoccerFest, this will be the last year as an annu-al event and will shortly make the shift to a quarterly event in Guelph. Organizers intend to have streets closed off in Guelph in order to play soccer in the streets, mimicking the roman-tic images of the sport in South America.

Sign-up has been closed for the Jan. 12 event, but support-ers and spectators are welcomed and encouraged to come out to the event in support of the val-ues being promoted by this very special day of soccer on campus.

Jan. 18 will witness one of the most exciting winter happenings in the Guelph athletic communi-ty. The Frosty Mug will be played between Guelph and Waterloo at the Sleeman Centre at 7:30 p.m. on the Friday evening. If you haven’t had a chance to catch the men’s hockey team yet this year, this might be the way to start. The Sleeman Centre offers a great atmosphere for watch-ing the game, and $5 student tickets are still available online at gryphons.ca and at the W.F. Mitchell Athletic Centre. Non-student tickets are also available for $10 – still a bargain for the

high-energy product the Gry-phons have put on the ice so far this season.

Skipping ahead to the middle of February, several Gryphon teams will be in the hunt for the playoffs with the OUA champi-onships right around the corner. Swimming, wrestling, volleyball, basketball, and hockey will all begin their playoff runs by the middle of the month, should the teams be fortunate enough to qualify.

Outside of the school’s athletic department, there’s a few things to look forward to in the world of professional sport as well.

If you can pull yourself away from the hockey for a minute, the Toronto Rock begin their home schedule at the Air Cana-da Centre on Jan. 19 against the Philadelphia Wings. One of the more consistently competitive teams in Toronto, the Rock, and the National Lacrosse League in general, provides quality en-tertainment at a price most university sports fans could stomach.

For fans of baseball, the most exciting day of the year is only a month away. Pitchers and catch-ers report on Feb. 12, and hope

springs eternal for fans of the Blue Jays as they unveil an over-hauled roster that positions them as preseason favourites and a possible World Series contender.

Oh, and the hockey lockout is over, so the CBC can now re-turn to its regular-scheduled

programming, and we can all pretend this will be the year the Leafs finally make the playoffs. Well, it’s nice to dream about it anyways.

Happy New Year, sports fans, there’s a lot to be excited about in 2013.

A look ahead to some exciting athletic events in the winter semester.

courtesy

www.theontarion.CoM sports & HeaLtH16

What you missed over the breakWhile you were feasting, the Gryphons were competing

Chris Müller

The winter break is finally over and it’s back to business as usual for the student population at the University of Guelph. While many might still be getting set-tled into the new semester (and dropping a few holiday pounds in the process), many of the stu-dent-athletes at the university are now well underway in the second half of their seasons. This arti-cle should fill you in on what you missed over the holiday.

HockeyMen’s hockey picked up the sec-ond half of their season riding the momentum generated by the phenomenal rookie campaigns of Andrew Bathgate and Brandon Maxwell. Bathgate’s 14 goals have him locked up in a three-way tie for most goals in the league, de-spite playing three fewer games than those he’s tied with. Max-well’s 10-3 record between the pipes is highlighted by three shutout performances en route to generating a .935 save percent-age, the best total in the OUA. The team’ s 12-6-2 record sits them a mere four points behind Western for first place in the west-ern division. The team has won two of three since returning from the winter break, the lone loss coming via a shootout when the team travelled to Lakehead Uni-versity on Jan. 4.

The high-flying women’s team contains three of the top five point scorers in the OUA in Amanda Parkins, Jessica Pinker-ton, and Christine Grant. Brooke Siddall has been solid in net for

the Gryphons, posting a 12-5 re-cord and recording a 2.11 goals against average along the way. At 13-3-3, the Gryphons current-ly sit at third in the standings with only two points separating them from the first-place Laurier Golden Hawks. The team is enjoy-ing a six-game winning streak, something they’ll surely look to continue into 2013.

swimmingThe swim team was last in ac-tion on Nov. 24, and surely after a long break the Gryphon men and women are eager to get out of the cold and back into the pool. That chance will come on Jan. 13, when Guelph hosts the Guelph Invita-tional at the W.F. Mitchell Centre. With only three meets separating the team from the OUA Champi-onships on Feb. 8, the Gryphons will look to keep the momentum generated from a successful first half and parlay it into success at the provincial level.

VolleyballIt was a tough first half of the sea-son for the men’s volleyball team, having posted a 2-7 record in OUA play. The team travelled to St. Petersburg, FL for the Alden Cup from Jan. 2 to Jan. 5. The Gry-phons dropped their first match against the Manitoba Bisons 0-3, but quickly bounced back to beat the University of Calgary and the University of New Brunswick on consecutive days, posting 3-1 vic-tories in each. Guelph would drop the last match of the event 1-3 to the Rouge et Or from Laval. The 2-2 record should provide some optimism for the team when they travel to Kingston on Jan. 12 to face Queen’s. The following day has Guelph play the Royal Military College Paladins in Kingston. The Paladins have yet to win a game

this season.The women’s squad dropped

their first match of 2013 when they travelled to St. Catherines to take on the Brock Badgers. The Gry-phons jumped out to an early lead with a strong first set by the score of 25-20. However, Brock would rebound quickly, winning three in a row with set scores of 12-25, 22-25, and 22-25. Their next game is in Thunder bay on Jan. 12, where they’ll take on the 5-8 Lakehead Thunderwolves in an attempt to move up in the standings. Taking on the undefeated York Lions on Jan. 18 could prove a much bigger problem for the Gryphons.

BasketballMen’s basketball has been busy as of late, playing five games since the season paused for the holiday. The Gryphons have gone 3-2 over that stretch, though the OUA re-cord stands at 3-6. As in real estate, location, location, location could be used to describe the Gryphons’s first half of the season. The team is 3-1 at home and 0-5 on the road, losing the road games by an aver-age margin of defeat of 26.2 points. The team has struggled to find their legs on the road to this point in the OUA season, but will look to 2013 as an opportunity to turn things around.

The women’s team sits at 4-5 in OUA play, similarly more suc-cessful at home (3-1) than on the road (1-4). The women have lost their two games since returning from the winter holiday, dropping a close 68-64 decision to Western on Jan. 3 and losing despite a val-iant effort against the number one ranked Windsor Lancers on Jan. 5 by a score of 87-54.

track & FieldThe Gryphon fieldhouse has been put to good use in the early weeks

of 2013. Host of the Guelph New Year Opener, Guelph captured 26 events on the day in the first full track and field meet of the season. Highlights included exceptional performances by Gryphon rookies Mitchell Torres in the high jump, Brandon Shirk in the men’s 300 meter race, and Madeline Yungblut in the women’s 3000 meter race. Yungblut would lap the competi-tion en route to her victory. Rookie pentathlon sensation An-thony Broeders won his event, and both he and Yungblut were named the Gryphon Athletes of the Week for their exceptional performance in the meet. Yungblut’s success comes on the heels of being named

the OUA and CIS women’s rook-ie of the year for her efforts in the cross-country season and is making a strong case for a similar award on the track and field side of things.

LacrosseThough their Guelph careers may be over, former Gryphons Mike Burke and Curtis Knight have made the active roster for the Edmonton Rush of the National Lacrosse League. Fellow Gryphon Jordan Critch is a member of the Buffalo Bandit’s practice ros-ter. Congratulations to the three Gryphons, and best of luck in the upcoming season.

Get caught up on what you missed over the winter holiday in this quick summary of athletic happenings since campus emptied out.

vAnessA tiGnAnelli

What is the Building potential program?Athletic Director Tom Kendall helps explain the benefits of the university’s capital campaign

Chris Müller

The W.F. Mitchell Centre cur-rently exists as an outdated and insufficient facility for the ex-panding student body here at the University of Guelph. The devel-opment of the soccer complex, the fieldhouse, renovations to the arena, and improvements to the stadium have been step-ping-stones on the way to the final piece of the facility puzzle.

The lofty $20-million goal for the project will be used primar-ily for the construction of the new athletic centre, replacing and improving upon the exist-ing structure. With two-thirds of the cost of the new centre being funded by student fees, the university is now looking to companies and alumni in-terested in contributing to the project. One such contributor, the Hamilton Tiger-Cats, con-tributed $450,000 to the program as part of the agreement to play their home games in Alumni Sta-dium next season.

The dazzling presentation on the proposed facility can be found on the project’s web-site, buildingpotential.ca. The

renovation includes a 120,000 square foot expansion, a three-level, 35,000 square foot fitness centre, and a 2,500-seat event centre – capable of hosting vol-leyball and basketball games, as well as social events such as convocation.

Capital-raising programs like the Building Potential project are common in the Canadian univer-sity athletics landscape. Similar projects have helped construct new facilities at Western, Lau-rier, and McMaster.

While the price may seem steep, Athletic Director Tom Kendall ex-plains that over-constructing the facility is necessary at this stage in the university’s development.

“We need to do this, and we

need to do it right,” said Ken-dall. “We don’t want to be in a position where we build it, and it’s too small; we’re building it with the intent to meet student needs for the next 20 years.”

The “student needs” Kendall identifies have been developed through student involvement with the project from the very beginning.

“For three years, really, since we started the master plan which was designed in 2008, we’ve al-ways had student input on what their needs are and the like, so we’re comfortable with the design we have to date,” said Kendall.

For those who might oppose the construction of a new athletic

facility, Kendall explained that this is a building not solely pur-posed for the elite athletes of the Guelph community.

“This is not a building that’s being built [exclusively] for varsity sports, this is a building that will enable our student body, our faculty, and our staff to have greater opportunities for recre-ation, for fitness, and for social gatherings,” said Kendall.

The intent on creating a so-cial space that was not exclusive to athletes was important dur-ing the planning stages, and as both the plan and program web-site suggest, the new centre is intended to be a social hub for health and wellness throughout the university community.

sports & HeaLtH 17170.1 ◆ january 10th, 2013

From the BleachersThe Lockout

of Attrition is over, now what?

Chris Müller

Hockey fans the world over can now safely reemerge from the apocalypse shelters they were building (full of Don Cherry’s

“Rock ‘Em Sock ‘Em” highlight videos, tins of chewing tobacco, boxes of potato chips, and a Maple Leafs branded mini-fridge full of discount beer) into the world of live NHL hockey.

Gone are the daily TSN insider updates on the state of affairs in

a media-ballooned pissing con-test between Gary Bettman and Donald Fehr, as are the images of overly sorrowful looking unem-ployed NHL players backing the still-intact players’ association representatives.

There are no more discussions of a 70/30, 60/40, or 50/50 revenue split between ownership and the play-ers, no more financial negotiations, no more players undercutting the process during post-practice

interviews, no more cutting to Bob Mackenzie to fill time on SportsCenter, no more star play-ers leaving for European leagues, and thankfully, no more useless journalistic fodder on the subject.

As an occasional hockey fan (read: failed Canadian), I followed the developments of the lockout in earnest for the first two weeks of negotiations. Based on the media’s coverage of the negotiations, it has become abundantly clear that our country has a real hockey problem, not to mention the 113 days it took to get the lockout settled.

Over the Christmas holiday, I was blessed with the ability to watch TSN’s SportsCenter just about every morning over my third and fourth cup of coffee. Maybe it was the caffeine setting in, but I was continuously amazed by how the first 10 to 15 minutes of the broadcast would largely cycle between seemingly stock photos and videos of Bettman and Fehr walking in and out of hotels, pro-viding “No comment at this time” and “We’re allowing the process to unfold” as verbal fodder for the sports media machine.

This generally preceded the TSN panel of experts on the lockout, including legal consultants and economic advisers to supplement the analysis of some of the most re-spected names in the hockey media landscape.

Fifteen minutes later, the view-er is reminded that basketball was played the night before, and the NFL playoffs are also on television, in case anyone was concerned. At the half-hour mark, the pro-gram resets, and I’m once again bombarded by the lockout’s non-developments and an extended analysis of the financial concerns of another rejected proposal by the player’s association. Even with Onrait and O’Toole’s musings, my most reliable source of morning entertainment was quickly be-coming disturbingly obsessed with this pissing contest, and I wasn’t about to be caught in the prover-bial crossfire.

As an objective fan of the sport and as one whose playing ca-reer existed entirely on asphalt, I began to resent how we feel about hockey.

It would seem that hockey could do no wrong to us; some-how whatever little ‘timbits’ of useless legal information were given to us was merely an indi-cator that hockey could/would/should return to its rightful place in our hearts.

It’s this sort of thinking that had

us place all of our collective hock-ey hope in our World Junior team, only to see them fail to win the tournament for the fourth time in four years. Yet thousands of Canadians woke up in the ridic-ulous hours of the early morning to watch a group of young men attempt to fulfill some guarded national desire to achieve hockey greatness. If it was for anything other than hockey, this sort of behaviour might be seen as repre-hensible, or dare I say, unhealthy?

It’s this perspective that’s hard for an objective fan like me to grasp.

It’s this way of thinking that al-lows a team to charge more than double the league average for a nosebleed ticket, while not put-ting a playoff-caliber team on the ice since 2004, if you can even get a seat in the barn.

The hockey industry – and the media industry that survives be-cause of its popularity – is not driven by the players, the coach-es, or the owners. It’s driven by the consumer of the product: the fan.

That’s why a little part of me wanted the lockout to cancel the whole season, so we could observe Canada without the NHL for just one year in the modern media landscape of constant informa-tion in newspapers, on radio, on television, and online. What would we talk about? Would we watch more lacrosse? Would bars go out of business? What would we do with the expendable income that used to go to hockey games?

It’s all a very fascinating propo-sition, and unfortunately one we’ll

probably never know. We danced with the opportunity to learn what life without the NHL might have been like, and the player’s

association, like the owners, start-ed to hear the money jingling in our pockets, and the lockout got fixed.

Gary Bettman, the well-loathed commissioner of the national Hockey league, recently agreed to a deal with the nHl Player’s Association to end the lockout and begin a shortened season.

MAry AltAffer“Even with Onrait and

O’Toole’s musings, my most reliable

source of morning

entertainment was quickly

becoming disturbingly

obsessed with this pissing

contest, and I wasn’t about

to be caught in the proverbial

crossfire.”

www.theontarion.CoM sports & HeaLtH18

a crash course in Knuckleball!How the pitch and the documentary highlight the antithesis of modern baseball

Chris Müller

On Feb. 12, Major League Base-ball will begin when pitchers and catchers report to their re-spective teams’ spring training facilities in preparation for the upcoming 2013 regular season. It’s one of the most exciting times of year for baseball fans, when optimism reaches its peak and hope springs eternal for players, coaches, fans, and owners alike.

The newest addition to the lone Canadian team, the Toronto Blue Jays, is pitcher R.A. Dickey, last year’s NL Cy Young award winner. Doing my due diligence as a Blue Jay fanatic, I watched Knuckle-ball!, a documentary about the lives and careers of knuckleball pitchers in major league baseball.

Directed by Ricki Stern and Anne Sundberg, Knuckleball! follows the 2011 season when 17-year veteran pitcher Tim Wakefield of the Boston Red Sox was attempting to find his 200th career win as a major league pitcher, and R.A. Dickey was emerging as a premiere pitcher for the New York Mets. Wakefield and Dickey are joined by histor-ic knuckleballers Charles Hough and Phil Niekro as they discuss the finer art of slowing things down in an age of speed, power, and predictability in modern baseball.

The film is to some extent bio-graphical on the lives and careers of Wakefield and Dickey, but de-votes a good deal of time to the unique and positively more en-tertaining place of the enigmatic pitchers in a tradition-oriented culture. While I highly recom-mend the film to anyone with an interest in baseball or sport in general, the film points to the existence of the knuckleballer as an existence in contrast with everyone else. These are unique men with a unique set of skills, and the film highlights such things with a disjunctive narra-tive that slides between Wakefield and Dickey, occasionally bounc-ing with elements of Hough and Niekro’s careers to provide some variety. The presentation of the interviews mimics the movement of the knuckleball itself – gener-ally unpredictable, but invariably wonderful at the conclusion.

It points to this incredible el-ement of baseball that enrages managers and opposing hitters; just about everything in baseball is predictable if you subscribe to notions of sabermetrics and sta-tistical analysis, but there’s still

a human element in the game – one that cannot be predicted. These knuckleballers are the embodiment of that sentiment: unpredictable and aloof.

The basic premise of the

knuckleball is a pitch thrown without the rotation of the baseball during the course of its trajectory from pitcher’s hand to catcher’s glove. The result of

this non-rotation is a ball that appears to hover in mid-air, subject to both minute and ex-treme movement of the ball at a much lower velocity than normal pitches. If a major league fast-ball generally comes in at 90-plus miles per hour, the knuckleball can range between 60 and 80 miles per hour, seriously affect-ing the speed and rhythm of the hitter. A quick YouTube search of R.A. Dickey’s highlights from 2012 should showcase the diffi-culty of hitting the pitch.

Suffice to say the knuckle-ball’s unpredictability is both its strength and its weakness, just as often as the pitch cross-es the plate it can connect with the biggest part of the bat – giv-ing balance to the agony felt by pitchers as the ball travels into the second deck of the outfield stands and the euphoria as the game’s best hitters dejectedly slump back to the dugout, shak-ing their head in frustration after swinging at a pitch that doesn’t sit still.

The film, much like the pitch-ers themselves, is an eclectic mix of some of the more radical and unpredictable elements of base-ball and to some extent, life itself.

Only 33 more days until spring training – not that anyone’s counting.

Knuckleball tells the story of two unique pitchers in modern baseball. What can we learn about this unpredictable pitch and its place in baseball?

courtesy

“The presentation of the interviews

mimics the movement of

the knuckleball itself – generally

unpredictable, but invariably

wonderful at the conclusion.”

sports & HeaLtH 19170.1 ◆ january 10th, 2013

How a hunger strike affects the bodyWhat happens to the body when you stop eating?

Chris Müller

For those that chose to live under a rock for the last few months, the “Idle No More” movement conducted and supported by native North

Americans will reach its climax tomorrow when Prime Minis-ter Stephen Harper meets with hunger-striker Theresa Spence and her associates to discuss the future of native and crown relationships.

Spence’s hunger strike has drawn robust media attention

throughout North America, and her spot on Victoria Island, mere blocks from Parliament Hill, has become her living quarters in a temporarily es-tablished teepee as she lobbies for political action.

Politics aside, I couldn’t help but wonder what the physio-logical effects of a hunger strike might be. An article published by the CBC on Jan. 4 helps an-swer some of these questions.

Spence’s meeting with Harp-er will commence on Jan. 11, 30 days after she began her hunger strike. Spence has been sur-viving on fish broth, teas, and vitamins. The article suggests that while these consumables may be keeping Spence alive, her organs and body tissues are rapidly deteriorating. This occurs because basic caloric intake requirements are not being met. For the absolute minimum of the body sustain-ing itself, most people require around 1,200 calories. Exist-ing beyond brushing your teeth and walking to the washroom requires a diet of beyond 1,500 for most people.

A lack of protein could lead to the breaking and cracking of fingernails, sores developing on the skin, and severe muscular atrophy throughout the body.

The article notes that the absence of glucose consump-tion can result in less than

ideal blood sugar levels. Part of what can happen with re-duced blood sugar is that the basic processes of brain func-tion, firing neurons and the like, require simple sugars as an energy source, and these requirements may not be met during a hunger strike.

Without sufficient sugar sup-plies to the brain, I’ll allow the individual reader to determine the effect this might have on determining public policy in a meeting with the nation’s

official leader.Regardless, the risk of per-

manent organ damage is a real possibility during a prolonged hunger strike. However, this is the risk hunger-strike par-ticipants must accept when conducting a prolonged strike such as this. The added risk of conducting the strike in winter, when the body burns more cal-ories in order to maintain body temperature, may also contrib-ute to Spence’s declining health caused by the strike.

While the press may spin Spence’s medical condition in whichever way suits the po-litical agenda, there can be no denying the legitimate physio-logical concerns of the medical community. It would seem that is the point of such strikes, but in the case of Theresa Spence, idling on in her hunger strike may prove to be the tipping point for the discussion that is set to begin on Jan. 11. Perhaps that meeting ought to happen over dinner.

Attawapiskat chief Theresa spence is conducting a hunger strike mere blocks from Parliament Hill.

Julie oliver

“While these consumables

may be keeping Spence alive,

her organs and body tissues

are rapidly deteriorating.”

sports & HeaLtHwww.theontarion.CoM20

This Week in History

Leaning tower of pisa closed to publicThough the tower’s fame has been based largely on its lack of perpen-dicular alignment with the ground, on this day 13 years ago, the Italian government decided that the struc-ture was tilting too heavily and posed a threat to the over one million visi-tors to the tower a year. The tower was not reopened until 2001 after an international team of experts was hired to “save the building from col-lapse.” Despite the team’s efforts, by 1993, the building began leaning again and the structure “was held up by two steel supports while the stabilizing work was completed.” However, even the best of efforts cannot prevent history from repeat-ing. It is predicted that in 300 years, the Leaning Tower of Pisa will return to a dangerous angle and once again, be on the brink of collapse. (The BBC—Jan. 7, 1990)

student program proposes riotsA statement supposedly meant as a joke made the front pages of The Globe and Mail on this day as a pro-gram prepared by the Canadian Union of Students (CUS) encouraged university students to riot in January as a “way to attain power at the top.” According to the article, the program was “aimed at showing the Canadian taxpayer what CUS calls the highly unrepresentative nature of most university boards of governors.” A member of the University of West-ern Ontario administration sent an implicating CUS document about the program to the newspaper, which resulted in Douglas Ward, CUS presi-dent, denying that the organization called for riots, despite incriminat-ing evidence. Apparently, the word “riot” was “inserted into the pro-gram with a humorous meaning,” though it seems like few administra-tive staff found it funny. (The Globe and Mail—Jan. 9, 1967)

Miss earhart off on pacific Flight; Heard about 3 Hours outOn this day, Amelia Earhart began her famous flight from Honolulu to Oakland, CA, a voyage across the Pacific that was reportedly “never made solo before.” At this time, Ear-hart was also the first woman to “fly the Atlantic alone.” In a funny twist on the typical marital relationship, George Palmer Putnam, Earhart’s husband, was described by the article to be worried and “perspiring as the plane got into the air,” stating, “I would rather have a baby.” After four hours of flying, Earhart’s signal grad-ually weakened and the navy radio in Honolulu stopped receiving reports from the plane, though she eventu-ally landed safely in California. Two years after the trans-Pacific flight, Earhart’s plane disappeared when the aviatrix attempted to fly around the world. (The New York Times—Jan. 11, 1935)

Compiled by Alicja Grzadkowska

Live and love your workPositive psychology offers career job seekers a whole new approach

wayne Greenway

“Success is not the key to happiness. Happiness is the key to success. If you love what you are doing, you will be successful.” -Albert Schweitzer

Positive psychology offers ca-reer job seekers a whole new way to think about the task of career determination, which forms the foundation for an effective career job search. Positive Psychology is still in its infancy, but it has been defined as the scientific study of positive experiences, positive in-dividual traits, human flourishing, and the institutions that facilitate their development.

Many of my clients spend their time before I meet them involved in what I call “career roulette.” They spend countless hours look-ing for jobs listed on a variety of online career job boards, think-ing about how they can make their experience and strengths fit the qualifications. The results of their hard work often leave them feeling very discouraged and their con-fidence at an all-time low. Sadly, their success was no better than at a roulette table.

Many of these career job seek-ers find that if we help them take a few steps back in their think-ing, it surprisingly expedites their search. Creating an effective career search strategy is based on having a strong determination to work in a particular field. In our experi-ence, in a competitive market, it takes this kind of determination and passion to be able to success-fully launch and conduct the early

stages of effective career job search. Having a destination fuels clients with the passion and motivation needed to do the research, dis-cover opportunities before they are posted, and to become known to people in the field. Career deter-mination is vital to effective career job search.

Many clients, even those in their mid careers, have never taken the time to think about and discover what kind of career would real-ly make them happy in their life. Some students studied in their field because they excelled in it, but the burden of school work never gave them the chance to think about what they will do after they finish university.

Some clients do a myriad of tests and gain a richer understanding of how they best work with others, the type of positions that others with similar personalities have found themselves in, and the kinds of work environments in which they can thrive, but it still has not helped them to determine a ca-reer that captures their heartfelt interest.

Positive psychology offers a new way of thinking about career de-termination. Dr. Martin Seligman, a world renowned psychologist who is considered the father of positive psychology, described his PERMA model in his influen-tial 2011 book, Flourish.

PERMA stands for positive emotion, engagement, positive relationships, meaning and ac-complishment or achievement. Dr. Seligman says that these five cat-egories are essential for humans to have long lasting well-being and happiness. As such, examining the people, places, or events that cre-ated PERMA in the past can give insight into career jobs that will bring happiness in the future. Let

us explore what he means by each component of PERMA.

Positive emotions include: peace, hope, satisfaction, enthusiasm, inspiration, love, etc. Identifying what life experiences have given us these emotions in the past can provide insight into the kind of career that might also have these qualities in the future.

Seligman believes that we ex-perience engagement or “flow” when we find ourselves enjoying a moment and concentrating on the task at hand. Past experiences

involving “flow” can be identified by occasions when time seems to stop and we lose our sense of self. Times like this – when we con-centrate intensely on the present

– offer important clues for career determination.

Positive relationships are at the core of our well-being. Times in the past that stand out in our mind as having involved positive rela-tionships in our life provide telling pictures of the kind of work where we could thrive in the future.

Identifying areas in our life that brought us a sense of meaning

from serving a cause bigger than ourselves, provides a fourth level of exploration for revealing ca-reer options.

Finally, recognizing times in our life where we accomplished or achieved something gives more ideas of where we might be most happy in a career.

Seligman believes that by focus-ing on all five of these elements, we can flourish. Just imagine the motivation a job seeker would have if their career targets met some or all of these criteria?

It’s interesting to notice that security, salary, status, self im-portance, control and pleasing others are not qualities that enter into PERMA. As a career mentor, it is sad to hear of people who end up spending decades in a job they hate because they discovered that all that glittered was not the gold they thought it was when they started out. PERMA is the root of what Umair Haque wrote In a recent Harvard business review blog post.

“Whatever the method to your madness, whether inventing a bet-ter tanning bed, perfecting a better workout, or devising less water-intensive laundry, the authenticity principle says: don’t just mutely

“consume” it – live it. Better it, re-imagine it, blow the doors off it, and don’t stop until you’re within shouting distance of the point that it matters to the future of human-ity,” says Haque. In our experience it’s this quality of motivation that career job seekers need to be suc-cessful both in their search and throughout their career.

Exploring more about PERMA may be the answer to finding this motivation and offers career job seekers a new approach and some refreshing insights for ca-reer determination.

“security, salary, status,

self importance, control and

pleasing others are not qualities

that enter into PERMA.”

LiFe 21170.1 ◆ january 10th, 2013

poppin’ tagsTips for thrift store shopping

Colleen MCDonell

“I wear your granddad’s clothes/ I look incredible/ I’m in this big ass coat/ From that thrift store down the road”

On Jan. 3, the song “Thrift Shop” by Macklemore and Ryan Lewis went platinum, meaning the single has sold over one mil-lion copies. Besides putting out a catchy rap song, Macklemore informs us of the advantages of buying clothes from thrift stores.

Last semester, I did a survey of attitudes toward purchasing second-hand clothes for one of my classes. Of the universi-ty students who completed the questionnaire, many had posi-tive attitudes toward shopping second-hand, claiming they enjoyed the thrill of “bargain hunting” and felt that recycling textiles is beneficial to the envi-ronment. However, I found that many students were turned off of buying clothes second-hand partly because of hygienic rea-sons but also because they were unfamiliar with how to approach a trip to the thrift store.

An avid thrift shopper myself, I thought I would share points of advice for any beginners wish-ing to purchase second-hand clothes:

tip 1: Have some time to kill. When I go on a major Value Vil-lage trip, I usually have at least two hours set aside. tip 2: Get a cart, and don’t bother carrying your coat or purse. You will need your arms free to sift through each hanger or rummage through that discount bin.

tip 3: Explore different sections of the store that you usually ig-nore. The men’s t-shirts usually have funny quotes and images and include more band tees, whereas the women’s section tends to have more accessories such as belts and hats. Cross those boundaries, and you may find something awesome you did not intend to look for. But do avoid the underwear/lingerie/bathing suit sections.

tip 4: Be willing to try things on. If you are looking for one pair of jeans, try on 12 (because really, who follows the 6-item limit?).

tip 5: Be creative. That floral skirt is too long, but what if you hemmed it yourself? Read a fash-ion magazine or look online for photos before your trip for trends and to generate outfit ideas. Some key pieces – such as a colourful scarf – can drastically change an outfit. Some original items that you can get relatively cheap at second-hand stores are suspend-ers, fur pieces, vintage dresses, and sunglasses.

tip 6: Once you get really into the thrift shopping game, you may be overcome with an urge to buy everything. “These boots are three sizes too big, but they look great, right?” Because used clothes are cheaper, it is easi-er to justify buying clothes you will not wear regularly or that do not fit properly. Only pur-chase items that are comfortable and that you can visualize your-self wearing many times in the future.

tip 7: If something is torn or missing buttons, consider whether you will actually get around to fixing it. If so, ask for a discount if the item is not al-ready marked down.Tip 8: It doesn’t matter wheth-er you are buying that sweater at a more upscale consignment store or a junky bag-of-clothes-for-$3 second-hand store, it is always a good idea to wash it because you can never be too sure of it’s history. When you

get home, take time to cut off the tags and do your laundry.

Take some advice from Mackl-emore. Look for different and interesting used apparel at Value Village, Salvation Army, Goodwill, and other local thrift stores. Your outfits will be one-of-a-kind, and you will find that, although sucking on in-stant noodles everyday can be fun, shopping second-hand is an effective way to save your money.

leave plenty of time for your shopping if you plan to find the real bargains between the racks at second-hand clothing outfitters.

uli cHAn

www.theontarion.CoM LiFe22

The Brew review: india pale aleChris Müller

Each week, I’ll take a look at a certain style of beer and explain the history of the variety. Having sufficiently historicized the beer, I’ll review a modern example. Re-member to enjoy responsibly, and don’t forget that life’s too short to drink cheap beer!

The I.P.A. (India Pale Ale) is a style of beer that possesses both an interesting history and a simi-larly unique flavour characteristic. The mythology of the brew dates back to the British military pres-ence in India during the latter half of the 19th century. The soldiers, being accustomed to drinking English style, pale-malted ales at home, desired more for the same on the battlefront. Naturally, progressively minded commer-cial brewers began production of a similar style of ale, but with an additional dose of hops for the voyage overseas. The result-ing flavour of the beer was one of exceptional hop character, with notes of grapefruit, pine, and cit-rus. Legend held that the added hops would help preserve the beer from going bad during the long voyages to India, but there is lit-tle proof to support this. When barrels of the brew were load-ed on the cargo ships, the “Pale

Ale” was stamped with an “India” destination, and the name of this unique beer was born.

Nonetheless, the tradition of pale-malted and high-hopped brews continues with an excep-tional offering from Toronto’s Mill Street Brewery in their Paradise

I.PA.. You can find the beer in Mill Street’s Seasonal Sampler at the LCBO for under $20.00; highly recommended for a beer lover or anyone interested in learning more about different styles of beer.

At 7.2 per cent alcohol con-tent, the intense hopping masks a great deal of the warm alcohol

sensation other strong ales often feature, leaving a complex bit-ter grapefruit taste to reside on the tastebuds. The next sip re-solves this situation, where the sweetness of the light malt alle-viates the bitterness left by the high hop character of the brew. The result is a mild but pleasing introduction to the world of India Pale Ales. Cheers!

one characteristic that makes romulus the kitten special is that he was born without a tail, a genetic trait borrowed from his

father. He was taken in by Jess Avolio and caleb Dallman, who refer to him as “their little shit disturber.” After giving him the nickname “rommy,” they had to quickly change it to “roms,” realizing the original nickname sounded far too similar to the

name of an unfavourable political figure.

Jess Avolio

pet oF tHe Week

The simple brown bottle encloses a delicious, if not hoppy, india Pale Ale.

vAnessA tiGnAnelli

“The resulting flavour of the beer was one

of exceptional hop character,

with notes of grapefruit, pine,

and citrus.”

LiFe 23170.1 ◆ january 10th, 2013

inordinate ordnanceBeards for my homies

Chris Carr

Gather ’round. Let Uncle Chris impart some knowledge on you. I see a lot of pristine real estate walking around campus – each an untapped canvas. I see what you must be calling a mustache. I see those sideburns, serpentine and unkempt, like they were stripped from Elvis’s toileted corpse. I see a lot of talent, but what I don’t see, is nearly enough beards.

Some of you young men might be saying, “But Chris, I can’t grow a beard.” And my rebuttal is simple: I don’t care. A tried-and-failed beard is better than any clean shaved yuppie any day of the month. You got the patchy kind, it shows your youth, but still re-bellious side. You say it makes you look homeless? That’s beardism, and there is no place for it in this institution of higher learning. You should be ashamed.

Say what you will about hip-sters, but they have done the bearded community a great ser-vice. Since the 1950s the beard has had an uphill struggle. It fought communism, the soviets and kept

us warm during the cold war. In the 1960s through the ’70s, it was claimed by the hippies (as a lentil soup strainer, I think) and thus forever branded as the lazy man’s facial hair choice. In the

’80s, the beard hit its lowest point, with the rise of yuppie culture and people not wanting to look like pedophiles. Imagine! In the

’90s and the early 2000s, we the bearded, got terrorist added to our grizzled dossier of historical contexts.

I say no more! We the bearded (and potentially bearded) need to rise up and claim what is ours. And what is ours? The inch of space that hangs hairless under our noses. The cold air brushed against our shaven, wholly op-pressed cheeks. Our weak chins, starving for even a modicum of masculinity. This, gentlemen, is where we make our stand. We the bearded, stand together. We the bearded, shave for no man, or woman.

“But Chris, my significant other doesn’t like facial hair.” Poppy-cock! Would you say to your fish they can’t have water because your hair fizzles when wet? Would you tell the majestic eagle he can

fly no more because you get a lit-tle air sick on the ride? This will not stand, man. This injustice will not stand. To tell a man he can not grow out his face hair is like tell-ing a man he should be ashamed of his erections. It’s a man’s world (the facial hair world), and only he can be judged by his fellow beard-ed peers. We the bearded, hold our own in high esteem.

Furthermore, I have seen many the she-kind turned to the way of the hairy chinned MANimal. You snuggle a bearded man, and tell me that shit doesn’t feel amazing. You cannot.

My people have been oppressed for too long. A beard is simply not a fad, nor is it a choice. We the bearded were born this way (well probably 13 or 14 years after we were born) but regardless, this is who we are and this is who we will remain to be. And to you, the clean shaven, what is your excuse? You defiantly walk about, in public no less, with naked face-skin, in the face of your true identity, as one of, we the bearded? You turncoats better watch yourself, you may just wake up with a beard glued to your face and the beginnings of self-respect, if you aren’t careful.

We the bearded, do not suffer tourists. To those with mustaches, goatees, neck beards and chin-straps, you have a start, but what good is foreplay without sex? Only bearded children may walk in the kingdom of our Lord, Galifiana-kis. Don’t squander your gift. Wear it, on your face, like last night’s short-rib sauce.

Chris Carr is Editor-in-Chief of The Cannon. “Inordinate Ord-nance” publishes every Thursday in The Cannon and in The Ontarion. The opinions posted on thecan-non.ca reflect those of their author and do not necessarily reflect the opinions of the Central Student Association and the Guelph Cam-pus Co-op, or The Ontarion.

Jack Passion, author of The facial Hair Handbook, is two-time champion of the World Beard & Moustache championships. That could be you, go beard or go home!

MicHAel BucHino

www.theontarion.CoM opinion24

APRIL 2013 APRIL 2014

The Ontarion is a non-profit organization governed by a Board of Directors. Since the Ontarion undertakes the publishing of student work, the opinions expressed in this publication do not necessarily reflect those of the Ontarion Board of Directors. The Ontarion reserves the right to edit or refuse all material deemed sexist, racist, homophobic, or otherwise unfit for publication as determined by the Editor-in-Chief. Material of any form appearing in this newspaper is copyrighted 2011 and cannot be reprinted without the approval of the Editor-in-Chief. The Ontarion retains the right of first publication on all material. In the event that an advertiser is not satisfied with an advertisement in the newspaper, they must notify the Ontarion within four working days of publication. The Ontarion will not be held responsible for advertising mistakes beyond the cost of advertisement. The Ontarion is printed by the Guelph Mercury.

The ontarion inc. University CentreRoom 264University of GuelphN1G 2W1ontarion@uoguelph.ca

Phone:519-824-4120General: x58265Editorial: x58250Advertising: x58267Accounts: x53534

editorial staff:Editor-in-chief Tom BeedhamArts & Culture Editor Nicholas RevingtonSports & Health Editor Christopher MüllerNews Editor Alicja GrzadkowskaAssociate Editor Colleen McDonellCopy Editor Stacey Aspinall

Production staff:Photo & graphics editor Vanessa TignanelliAd designer Sarah KavanaghLayout Director Jessica AvolioWeb Assistant Jordan Sloggett

office staff:Business manager Lorrie TaylorOffice manager Monique VischschraperAd manager Al Ladha

Board of DirectorsPresident Bronek SzulcTreasurer Lisa KellenbergerChairperson Curtis Van LaeckeSecretary Alex LefebvreDirectors Marshal McLernon Lisa McLean Kevin Veilleux Michael Bohdanowicz Heather Luz Shwetha Chandrashekhar

contributorsChris CarrAndrew DonovanWayne GreenwayRobyn NicholsonWendy Shepherd

250 students gathered on Aberdeen street for “faux-coming” in 2011, a small crowd compared to past years when Queen’s homecoming festivities were not yet prohibited. Kingston police handed out 101 liquor related offences, with 19 of those for public intoxication. This out of control street partying is what obligated the university to control homecoming celebrations.

courtesy

Queen’s: learn from Guelph’s HomecomingPursuant to an extensive discus-sion between Queen’s University and both internal as well as Kings-ton community partners, Queen’s Principal Daniel Woolf announced on Dec. 12 of last year that the university would lift a four-year suspension of its Homecoming celebrations in the fall of this year.

The school’s infamous Home-coming ban was instituted following years of Homecom-ing-related activities that yielded results both destructive and costly to the Kingston community. The school’s then annual event had gained notoriety in 2005 after droves of partiers jammed streets, smashed beer bottles in public, and even flipped a car and set it ablaze. Citing safety concerns, in November 2008 the universi-ty made the call to suspend the event for two years, following a homecoming weekend that saw an estimated 8,000 partiers crowd into Aberdeen Street (a stretch of student housing spanning two blocks). The instance saw officers make nearly 140 arrests and issue 700 liquor charges, in addition to sending 23 grossly intoxicated revelers to the hospital emergen-cy room.

The year following, Queen’s partiers held “faux coming” cel-ebrations that kept police busy in spite of the school’s efforts to crack down on the issue. A Ma-clean’s article from the weekend

reports that before a football game came underway on the Saturday afternoon, police had responded to 28 incidents including three out-of-hand keg parties, “nu-merous liquor violations, an indecent act, a vandalized car, a break and enter, and a report of

kids throwing tree branches onto a bus,” in addition to 23 people ar-rested the night preceding, with charges ranging from assaulting a police officer to public intoxica-tion.” Partiers also threw objects at a prisoner van following arrests.

The following year, an es-timated 1,500-2,000 people crowded Aberdeen Street once

more, necessitating 95 connected arrests and 255 charges.

“In order to [return to annual Homecoming traditions], I must be satisfied that the cycle of street gatherings has truly been broken,” said Woolf following the disap-pointing outcome.

With that in mind, it came with little surprise that the university responded by piling on an addi-tional three years of Homecoming suspensions.

While little has been said about the specifics of Queen’s Univer-sity and Kingston Police’s plans to control the oncoming 2013 Homecoming “festivities,” one might direct their gaze to the way Guelph handled Homecom-ing events last year.

In addition to an already estab-lished month-long Downtown Late Night Task Force spear-headed pilot project dubbed “Safe Semester,” which saw the clo-sure of the greater parts of the Macdonell and Wyndham Street block on weekends between 11 p.m. and 4 a.m., over the course of Guelph’s Homecoming events in 2012, Guelph Police Services planned increased efforts to deal with public concerns about ex-cessive garbage, public drinking, and noise expressed in previous years. These efforts included in-creased police presence across campus and downtown, in ad-dition to posts at events such as

Homecoming proper and an un-official “tailgate” event held on Johnston Green.

The police service also held a tweet-a-thon in tandem with their service, posting live up-dates about arrests made and charges laid over the course of the weekend’s events. In the spirit of broken window theory, tweets notified Twitter follow-ers of the locations and volumes of charges and arrests being is-sued, supposedly deterring – as Queen’s University’s past Home-coming events have suggested

– proportionately higher arrests and charges numbers.

At Homecoming 2012, Guelph Police issued only roughly 150 $125 open liquor tickets, and as of 3 a.m. the Sunday morning fol-lowing game day, there were nine males, two females and one youth in custody at police headquar-ters. Five connected keg parties were also investigated and shut down, resulting in the seizure of 32 beer kegs.

Of course, when it comes down to the issue of public responsi-bility, the onus is never on the responding authorities – and cer-tainly not on the effectiveness of a Twitter user – but the parties involved.

Keep that in mind when you paint yourselves up for this year’s Homecoming festivities, Queen’s. Your country is watching.

“...when it comes down

to the issue of public

responsibility, the onus is

never on the responding

authorities...”

25editoriaL 170.1 ◆ january 10th, 2013

across1- Wander 5- Also 8- Small jazz band13- First name in stunts14- Sketched15- Broadcasting16- Lab fluids17- Shower18- Paris divider

19- Fundamental law21- ___ de mer22- Sugary suffix23- Campers, briefly24- Equilateral parallelogram28- Monster’s nickname30- General ___ chicken31- Tropical cuckoo bird32- Raison ___33- Small salmon

34- ___ Rhythm (2)35- Joint inflammation38- Gardner and others41- Cut the crop42- Swedish imports46- Diarist Anais47- Having wealth48- Showy pretense49- Diary51- Prince Valiant’s son52- Charlemagne’s realm: Abbr.53- Got together54- Instruct57- Deadly virus59- Acting part60- Toward the mouth61- Fortune-telling cards62- Slaughter of baseball63- Wash64- ___ there yet? (2)65- Condensed moisture66- Textile worker down1- Answer in words2- Supervise3- Utmost4- Brio5- Snares6- Trompe l’___7- Legal right of possession8- Universe9- One late bedtime (2)10- Postal carrier’s tote11- Storage container12- Source of iron

14- Compel20- Old newsman25- Shout in derision26- Numero ___27- Canine command29- Ladies of Sp.30- Synagogue scroll33- Tessellated34- This ___ outrage! (2)36- Small combo37- Of Thee ___ (2)38- Besides39- Through40- You don’t bring me flowers, ____43- Smokers receptacle44- Make desolate45- Thin47- Revolve48- Attempts50- Beneath51- Permit55- Zero56- Grasp57- JFK posting58- Ingot

suBMit your completed crossword by no later than Monday, January 14th at 4pm for a chance to win

tWo free BoB’s DoG’s!

Last Week's solution

BestcrossWorDs.coM

www.theontarion.CoM crossWord26

coMMunity ListinGsFriday January 11 Guelph Civic Museum opens Waist Management: A History of Unmentionables’, a new touring exhibit from the Fashion History Museum. Exhibit runs until April 14. Open daily 1-5 pm. 52 Nor-folk St. 519-836-1221 ext. 2773 www.guelph.ca/museum.

Guelph Country Dances monthly contra dance series 8pm at St. James Anglican Church (SW corner of Paisley Rd/Glasgow St). No partner or previous experience necessary. Admission $10($8 students/members). Free parking. Absolutely no street shoes on the dance floor please! Rick Avery 519-763-2494.

saturday January 12

Soccer Fest will be held at the University of Guelph soccer dome, where 32 teams will join for a day of soccer, music and fun. The day will conclude with an after-party at Atmosphere featuring multiple DJ’s. Soccer Fest is a quarterly event put on by Guelphite Sports. E: soccer-festguelph@gmail.com W: www.guelphitesports.com

sunday January 13

Guelph Hiking Trail Club: Schneider Woods Ski Trails.

2.5-3 hrs. Level 2. Speed Moder-ate. On the hummocky Waterloo Moraine on the J.L. Schneider family estate. XC ski only. Meet at 9am at Guelph covered bridge lot on Gordon St. All welcome. Leader: Bill Mungall wmun-gall0809@rogers.com

Monday January 14

Career Aviators Business Career Club: Students and professionals welcome. Mondays 7pm -9pm, Innovation Guelph (111 Far-quhar Street). Strategic advice and support; guest presenta-tions; motivation to stay on track; worldwide Information exchange. PWYC. Info:1 866 873 7633 www.careeraviators.com

saturday January 19

Rainbow Chorus of Waterloo-Wellington winter concert ‘Bright Side – Songs of Warmth in a Cold Season’. 8 pm at Harcourt United Church. Advance tickets $15 can be purchased at Guelph Artisans’ Market in Old Quebec St Mall, from choir members, or PayPal at www.rainbowchorus.ca.

Guelph Poetry Slam - Grand-slam Finals! Top 10 poets of the season compete for their slot on this year’s national team. Doors 6pm, show start 7pm. No Open

Mic this month. The eBar (41 Quebec St.). 7pm. $20/ door, $15/advance at The bookshelf & Out On The Shelf.

tuesday January 22

Relaxation & Stress Man-agement Skills Training. A 12 session program at noon or 5:30 pm to decrease anxiety, headaches, insom-nia and muscle tension. Details at www.uoguelph.ca/~ksomers.

Thursday January 24

Macdonald Stewart Art Centre Winter Art Party. Unveiling two major exhib-itions by Canadian artists: ‘Phil Bergerson: American Shards’ runs until to April 14. ‘Vessna Perunovich: Line Rituals & Radical Knitting’ runs until March 31. Open-ing reception 7pm. MSAC 358 Gordon St. 519-767-2661 www.msac.ca

Friday January 25

Fourth Friday: Celebrating the creative, neighbourly, interesting, and welcoming vibe of downtown Guelph, Fourth Friday events take place on the fourth Friday of every month, from 7pm

– 10pm. www.fourthfridays-guelph.ca

Synchronised Skating at Market Square -a demon-stration from the Guelph Gryphons Varsity Figure Skating Team. 7 and 8pm. The team will be on hand to offer their advice and know-ledge to the public between performances. www.down-townguelph.com

saturday January 26

Shake-n-Skate party at Market Square in downtown Guelph 6-10 pm. An all-ages event featuring electronic music by local DJs and high-lighting a diversity of sounds. This is a family-friendly event. The Market Square skating rink is open daily from 10am -10pm, weather permitting. www.guelph.ca/marketsquare

ongoing:

Guelph Civic Museum’s Exhibit: “kNOw Skateboard-ing: 60 Years of Skateboarding Culture”, discover the rich underground world of skate-boarding. 7-9pm. Exhibit runs until June 2, 2013. 52 Norfolk St. 519-836-1221 ext. 2773 guelph.ca/museum.

The Guelph Family Health Team (FHT) offers FREE walking group at the YMCA-YWCA. Tues-day/ Thursday evenings 6-8pm. Participants receive a free pedometer the first time they attend and weekly handouts with recipes, health tips and exercises. Indoor shoes only please. Information: 519-837-0099.

Trillium Gift of Life Net-work (TGLN) is encouraging all Ontarians to register their consent to become organ and tissue donors. By registering as a donor, you could one day save up to eight lives and enhance as many as 75 more. Online donor registration is now available at BeADonor.ca. It’s easy and it only takes 3 minutes to register. www.beadonor.ca

Guelph Needlecraft Guild. See samples, meet teachers, sign up for classes, attend general meeting. Meetings every Monday at 7:30. Kor-tright Presbyterian Church, 55 Devere Dr. www.guel-phneedlecraft.wordpress.com, sandy@onebit.ca, 519-767-0017. New mem-bers always welcome.

Campus Community Police

NON EMERGENCY - EXT. 52245

EMERGENCY - EXT. 2000