10 Ways to Build Good Coworker Relationships

8/10/2019 10 Ways to Build Good Coworker Relationships

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10 ways to build

good coworker

relationshipsByScott Mattesonin10 Things, July 23, 2013, 1:35 PM

PST //scott_matteson

Good office etiquette helps build the

foundation for a healthy workenvironment. Here are 10 tips to make

the most of your interactions with

coworkers.
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After working in a variety of companies both small and

large, I have learned how to spot the difference between

committed employees who are in it for the long haul and

temporary faces who will move on down the line. You

can tell the "keepers" based upon how they get along

with others in the office: They engage people in a

professional and respectful manner that adheres to

certain traits. This helps the business's bottom line, since

positive employee interaction drives the organization.

Building employee morale has been a common theme

among management as of late. Company socials and

outings, promoting exercise through walk-a-thons or

friendly weight-loss contests, and other mood-boosting

strategies are fine (although I felt a mandatory high-school-style company rally at one business I worked was

a bit much).

But fancy plans aren't always needed. Sometimes the

simple approach is the best. So I've put together this list

of 10 things I have found invaluable in maintainingpositive relations at work based on the traits I referred to

above. Best of all, these tips don't cost money!


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1: Practice common courtesy

This one should be self-explanatory, but I live in New

England, which can be known for standoffish attitudes.

Look, there's nothing creepier than walking down the hall

at work and greeting a coworker with a friendly "Hello"

only to receive a stony stare in response (or no

acknowledgment at all). I'm not saying you should throw

confetti and hand out balloons, but a simple exchange of

smiles and a "Hi" is the first step in forming a

constructive workplace. Make eye contact and refer to

people by name. This is the oil that keeps the engine of

cooperation running smoothly. It doesn't mean you have

to chat over coffee for an hour and it certainly doesn't

mean you have to kiss anyone.

Furthermore, keep in mind office life is much like having

roommates. Don't be the guy (or girl) who left the fish

sandwich in the fridge for two weeks, or finished the last

Keurig cup without opening another box. If your feet

noticeably sweat, sandals at work may be a bad idea.And so forth.


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2: Use efective

communications

Learn who works best through email, phone, instant

messaging, or personal visits and try to utilize these

preferences when engaging your coworkers. Some

people prefer email since they like to keep a written

record of their actions or responses to questions (or they

may be online late at night getting caught up). Others willvalue a phone call more since it's a quicker medium of

communication.

I have found email is usually the standard. When it

comes to a powerful email strategy, my four corners are:

1.Always make sure the subject line is helpful (e.g.,

"question about expiration of paid time off" and not

"question") and keep the email as concise and on-

topic as possible.

2.Leave people out of emails/meeting requests if they

don't need to attend or be kept in the loop on the

topic, so they won't see your emails as meaningless

spam.


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3.If you bring others into a conversation, let them know

why; don't just CC them on a huge email trail. For

instance, you might say, "Jeff, I'm including you

because you have some good insights on foreign

exchange rates and I remember you just got back

from England."

4.Don't reply to previous emails to start a new

conversation unless it has some bearing on the

current topic.

Sometimes we find we're not getting the results we need

from coworkers. Emails and voicemails may go ignored

(or it can seem that way). Think before banging out a

huffy email and cc:ing someone's manager -- this latter

tactic can be a disaster for cordial relations unless otheravenues have been tried first. Maybe it would make more

sense to politely ask your coworker in person about the

issue? They may be too tied up to check messages and

can refer you to another resource in the company. Unless

you have a clear-cut reason to assume someone is

blowing you off, give them the benefit of the doubt. If theyare dragging their feet deliberately, I recommend

approaching your own manager first for assistance.


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3: Respect other people's time

Every job is a service job. Whether you work in IT, HR,

Marketing, or Administration, you have something other

people need. It could be know-how in your job role or the

capability to perform certain business functions, like

signing purchase orders.

Unless it's a genuine emergency, don't hover outside

someone's cube/office while they're busy with someone

else, to "wait for them to get off the phone," or finish an

existing conversation; just come back later. They will see

you and feel pressured to get rid of the existing visitor or

end the phone call. Similarly, don't hand off work

requests in the hall, kitchen, bathroom, or outside theoffice. (On one occasion, I bumped into someone at the

grocery store on Saturday who asked me to get a new

computer for her at the office and wanted an ETA on the

spot!) The line between work and personal lives should

be respected.

Conduct business operations with others at times that

are convenient for both parties. Nobody should ever

dread running into you, and they certainly shouldn't


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your network group to open ports in the firewall, research

the ports and the IP addresses of the hosts involved

instead of just emailing them to ask "Can you allow

remote desktop access from outside the company?"

People will know you've done the legwork and will

appreciate that.

Some things are best left to the professionals, of course.

If the other guy on your IT team is responsible for makingDNS changes you could easily perform yourself, you

shouldn't proceed on his turf unless he's given you

permission to do so and is aware of your action.

5: Proceed ith caution on

social media

A plethora of social media vehicles come and go;

Facebook, Google+, LinkedIn -- anyone remember

MySpace? However, there's really nothing different about

interacting with coworkers on social media as compared

to the standard rules of real life that have been around

for decades. (Of course, you should review your

company's social media policy to be aware of the

requirements.)


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If you do connect with coworkers through social media,

don't engage in inappropriate relationships and don't

present an unprofessional side of yourself. We've all

heard that it's dumb to post drunken Facebook photos,

but a better rule would be to keep any controversial

interests or hobbies separate from your coworkers. Don't

share confidential information about the company or

other workers. Pretend the company president (or board

of directors) is personally following your every move onsocial media and act accordingly. Your job and

maintaining the operations and integrity of the company

is the priority. A better option might be to restrict work

connections to LinkedIn and leave Facebook for "real-life

friends," family, neighbors, and so forth.

!: "tay on the level

Treat everyone the same. Office politics can be deadly

and sometimes even unavoidable, but reduce your

involvement in them wherever possible. Don't gossip or

get involved in it when others do. I've seen instanceswhere bad blood developed among employees who kept

"whispering" rude things about people they didn't like

through instant messaging services. Guess what


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happened when one of them left their computer

unattended? Everyone got a free trip to see the VP of HR

and all of them were gone within a few months -- except

the target of their discussions!

The person you hired might wind up being your boss one

day, and your manager might get transferred elsewhere

then transferred back to become the one in charge

again. I have seen both instances happen in real life,proving that staying on a friendly (or at the very least

neutral) basis with everyone possible is always the best

policy.

#: $on't %ripe a&out or at

or

Everyone vents about the job at times. We are a vent-

oriented society. Unless you're an ice cream tester or a

gourmet food critic, chances are your job produces

stress. Griping is okay -- so long as you do it to your

significant other, relative, non-work friend, or dog. Keep it

outside the company if you can, though.


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There's a line in the movie Saving Private Ryan where

Tom Hanks, the captain of the unit assigned to find and

rescue Private Ryan, tells his subordinates, "Gripes go

up, not down. Always up. You gripe to me, I gripe to my

superior officer, so on, so on, and so on. I don't gripe to

you. I don't gripe in front of you. You should know that as

a Ranger." That's excellent advice. Managers should

never display frustration about the company to their staff.

It will trickle around; that's a guarantee.

Getting paid to complain about work while you're at work

is a little over the top and just fosters an unhealthy

victimhood culture. If there's something you can do, do it.

If not, address it through the healthiest means possible.

(: Put out a elcome mat

Go out of your way to make new hires welcome. Don't

act like you're part of the "Old Timers" network and these

young upstarts are trying to crash the party or intrude on

your home ground. You once lived through the first dayon the job, too. It's not just for the sake of being friendly

and making people feel at home; remember tip #6 that

new hire might be a VP in five years. I'm not saying this


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In those instances, I recommend asking Ted to talk to the

boss and explain what happened on his own. If he's

unavailable (or perhaps tied up frantically mounting the

Exchange databases) and someone in charge presses

you for more information, you should describe exactly

what happened. However, do so from the standpoint of

an impartial observer: "Mistakes were made. Ted can

describe what happened better than I, and I want to

make it clear I'm not throwing him under the bus here,but the server was shut down accidentally. Log Off is

similar to Shut Down on that Start Menu." Don't

respond like a participant trying to bail himself out.

I have found that a post-mortem analyzing disasters like

this and what controls will be put in place to preventfuture occurrences can be extremely helpful in solving

tensions that erupt when things go awry.

1*: +ollo up ith people

Believe me, this one goes a long way. When you'vecompleted a task involving others, it takes 20 seconds to

bang out an email a couple of days later asking "Did that

work for you?" or "How are things going?" Every time


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I've done it this has solidified relations by showing the

other party I care how things turned out, and I didn't just

treat them like a hot potato to be tossed onto a plate and

served to someone else.

,onclusion

These strategies may be common sense, but they can

complement an agenda-oriented workplace (isn't that the

purpose of business?) to help keep the wheels of

business turning in a healthy and productive fashion. If

you have other tips and suggestions I'd love to hear more

in the comments section!

-&out "cott .attesonScott Matteson is a senior systems administrator and freelance technical writer who also

performs consulting work for small organizations. He resides in the Greater Boston area with his

wife and three children.

Full Bio Contact

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Develop GoodCoworker Relations

Maintain peace and fun at work throughyour associationsfrom Stealth Health

Essential Bonds

You can pick your friends, but you cant pick your

coworkers. Yet you need these guys in more ways than one.

First, you need their goodwill and cooperation in order to

perform your own job well. Second, studies find that

disagreements with coworkers and bad interoffice

relationships deflate morale and impair performance even

more than rumors of layoffs.


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ComstockComplete

You don't have to be a Pollyanna, but try toperform one act of kindness a week, choosing adifferent coworker each time

And third, if youre like most people, you spend morewaking hours at work than anywhere else. eaching out toyour colleagues ! or e"tending an olive branch, if need be !can make your work environment a much nicer place inwhich to spend eight #or $% or $& or $'( hours a day even asit increases your job security. #)n the event of a layoff,chances are the office loner or grouch is among the first togo.(

You dont have to be friends with your coworkers, but you

do need to be friendly. ead on for fresh ways to make work

a kinder, gentler place.

1. Give a happy Hello! in the morning.*o you plod

into the office, eyes down, shoulders slumped, andimmediately start work+ )f so, youre likely to find that

coworkers ignore you #at best( or avoid you #at worst(. et

into the habit of smiling and greeting your colleagues as you


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'. (%%ept good)nat*red teasing.6ther workers

sometimes play jokes and tease to test what kind of person

you are. So if they poke fun at your new shoes ormischievously put a racy screensaver on your computer,

dont get angry. et them know that you love a good joke !

even if its sometimes on you. 6f course, if the teasing is

personal #about your weight or ethnicity, for e"ample(,

makes it difficult for you to do your job, or makes you feeluncomfortable because of its se"ual implications, you may

need to take up the matter with your supervisor.

+. (sk what they think.0eople love to be asked their

opinion, so go out of your way to ask, 49hat do you thinkbelongs in this report+5 or, 4:ow do you think ) should

handle this situation with client ;+5 2hen give the advice

giver a sincere thank


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tidbit of gossip about =ettys office romance or =ills

impending firing, respond with, 4eally+5 and then change

the subject or get back to work. )f you dont respond, thegossiper will move on ! and youll retain the trust and

respect of your colleagues.

Be (mi%a&le. /hen dealing with a di""i%*lt

%oworker0 pretend yo*r kids arewat%hing.2his neat little visuali-ation willhelp you keep a cool head. After all, youvetaught your children to be mannerly. 9iththem 4watching5 you, it will be difficult tostoop to the level of your infuriating colleague.

. adle o*t the %ompliments.*id 2om fi"the office copier ! again+ :as the >uietsecretary in the cubicle behind you lost &?pounds+ =y all means, compliment yourcoworkers on their achievements ! personal

or professional. 2oo often, we focus on whatpeople are doing wrong.


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2. -pread yo*r good %heer.You dont haveto be a 0ollyanna, but try to perform one act ofkindness a week, choosing a different coworkereach time. For e"ample, one week you mightbring in doughnuts for no reason. Anotherweek, it might be a card for a colleague !maybe a thankuette. 2heres nothing morefrustrating to busy coworkers than to havetheir emails and phone messages ignored.Your silence doesnt just make their jobsharder@ it also conveys an unpleasant messageYoure unimportant to me.

11. Give %redit where %redit is d*e.*ontwithhold credit from deserving coworkers.Youll alienate them, and they wont be there


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people you work with that youre a person first,not just an employee or employer.

1,. (ss*me the positive a&o*t what yo*don4t know.Funny how a team of workersalways think theyre working harder than thoseyahoos down the hall, and that the bosses areclueless. *ont subscribe to that kind of to"icthinking, even if its rampant. )ts a negativeattitude that makes work become miserable.)nstead, assume that everyone else is workinghard and doing their best, even if you dontknow what their work is. You should believeboth in the work youre doing and theorgani-ation youre doing it for. )f you cant,perhaps its time to move on.

ead

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