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10 Celebrity Endorsed Video Games
That Should Offend You
http://www.gamebasin.com/news/10-celebrity-endorsed-video-games-that-
should-offend-you
Attaching the name of a celebrity to a video game title is never a good thing. To most experienced
gamers, that is simply a warning that the game might be something they would want to avoid. And
they would be right to do it. Statistically speaking, there is a pretty good chance that whatever
video game it might be is just a rushed, buggy and unfinished attempt to cash in on the name
power of celebs who are more than willing to plaster their face all over the game in exchange for
a big, fat paycheck. The sad thing is that it works. Way too many people buy games because they
see their favourite actor, athlete or musician on the cover as if they were actually involved in
making the game – apart from signing a contract and then going to the bank. Even Mike Tyson was
recently filmed playing Punch Out for the very first time 25 freaking years after it came out and
that was actually a good game! Don’t get us wrong; we’re not saying that featuring a celebrity in a
video game is always a bad thing. In fact, it oftentimes provides us with very memorable characters
and dialogue. Companies like Bethesda and Rockstar have used celebs in their games with a lot of
success in the past. At this point, can you actually imagine anyone other than Ron Perlman
narrating in Fallout? However, you might notice that here he is doing what he does best – he is
acting. He’s playing a role just like in a movie or TV show; he’s not the central figure in a video game
just to stroke his own ego and to boost sales. Some of you might have not even realised that he
has been the voice of Fallout ever since the first game. So what is it about these games? What
makes them suck? Usually, it is the fact that they are simply bad games regardless of the celeb on
the cover. Other times, though, it’s also an issue of taking someone you like and putting them in a
completely out‐of‐character context. “Ok, so we’ve got a successful sitcom about an average, blue
collar handyman. How do we make that into a videogame?” “Eh, let’s just have him fight dinosaurs
and break for lunch.” “Sounds good.”
10. Chuck Norris Superkicks
If you thought that crappy celebrity‐endorsed games are a new phenomenon, think again! This
“masterpiece” came out in 1983 for the Atari 2600, as well as some of its alternatives like the
Commodore 64 and the Colecovision (apparently they had high hopes for it). Ok, you might be
thinking “Hey, it’s an Atari game, lower your standards”. However, it sucks even for an Atari game
because they somehow managed to mess up the controls. How is that possible? The 2600
controller has only one button. Yeah, it’s almost a little impressive. Instead of having that one
button for kicks, you have to hold it down and then move the joystick side to side and that makes
Chuck Norris kick. Also, saying that the gamer gets to play as Chuck Norris is being generous. It’s
an Atari game, the graphics are just a step above stick figures. There are no distinguishing features
that would suggest to you that you are kicking butt as Chuck Norris. Well, actually, this worked out
in the company’s favour. At one point, their “Chuck Norris” license expired. All the company had to
do was rename the game “Kung Fu Superkicks” and it was good to go again.
9. Britney’s Dance Beat
It’s getting harder and harder to remember now, but there was a time when Britney Spears was
relevant. Not only that, but she pretty much ruled the pop world and had scores of teens dreaming
of emulating her. Well, what better way to do that than with Britney’s own video game. Britney’s
Dance Beat saw you as a backup dancer trying to impress the pop diva as best you can so you can
go on tour with her. Ok, so the story isn’t exactly gripping, but that’s pretty much standard for a
rhythm game. All you have to do is press buttons in time with the music. There aren’t any kinds of
peripherals involved so you are basically playing Simon Says while forced to listen to cheesy pop
music. However, it does have some redeeming features compared to other “gems” on this list. It
has some of her biggest hits plus backstage footage that can be unlocked. It was obviously
marketed towards Britney Spears fans so this stuff was likely to appeal to them. Plus, at least the
video game centered around a singer has something to do with music – you’re not playing as
Britney Spears hunting down aliens while riding a saber‐toothed tiger or something. Scratch that…
that would have been way cooler.
8. Marky Mark And The Funky Bunch: Make My
Video
For those of you too young to remember, before Mark Wahlberg, the actor, there was Marky Mark,
the rapper. He and his group, The Funky Bunch, had a few minor hits in the early 90s so it is only
normal that they deserved a video game, too. Might as well milk the cow dry before it decides to
get into acting. The result was Marky Mark and the Funky Bunch: Make My Video. Actually, this
was the third in the Make My Video franchise, following other musical luminaries such as INXS and
Kris Kross. The gameplay (if we can call it that) was the same for all three games. You have access
to three songs from each artist and you have to make new videos for them using stock footage,
pre‐edited videos and special effects. All the while you get to hear the same song over and over
again. Not surprisingly, all three games were disasters. Not just critically, but financially, which
makes us wonder how they made it to three games in the first place. And actually it was four games
as developer Digital Pictures also made Power Factory featuring C+C Music Factory beforehand.
7. Spice World
You didn’t really think that Britney Spears was the only pop sensation to get the crappy video game
treatment, did you? Of course not. Back when the Spice Girls were encouraging girl power and
accidents caused by platform shoes, they were so popular that they even got their own freaking
movie. So it was only normal that they would also quickly squeeze out a game, too. In Spice World:
The Video Game you had the exciting opportunity of teaching the girls some dance moves and
giving them some singing lessons. This was, again, accomplished by playing little rhythm games.
Whatever satisfaction could be gained by getting the Spice Girls ready for a performance was
quickly lost after about five minutes of play. Like Britney’s Dance Beat, this game is catered to a
special audience and has something to offer that audience in the form of some of the most well‐
known songs from the Spice Girls. Other than that, though, there is no reason why anyone would
want to play this, fan or not.
6. Michael Jordan: Chaos In The Windy City
Back in the 90s, the sporting world was ruled by one man – Michael Jordan. His success and
popularity went far beyond basketball so it was only normal to try and feature him in as much
media as possible. Sometimes this worked out well – take Michael, grab a few other basketball
stars and pair them up with the Looney Tunes and you get the pure awesomeness that is Space
Jam. Other times, though, you’re left with Chaos in the Windy City. Right off the bat, if you wanted
to create a successful video game featuring Michael Jordan, your first thought should be basketball,
not a zombie‐killing side‐scroller which is what CitWC is. It appears that the rest of the players for
a charity game have been kidnapped and it is up to Michael to save them using his magical balls.
No, seriously. His basketballs have various powers such as turning into fireballs or freezing enemies.
Well, at least this game still has some minor connection to basketball (unlike a certain other video
game featuring a basketball star).
5. 50 Cent: Blood On The Sand
We should mention right from the start that 50 Cent: Blood on the Sand is not a particularly bad
game. It’s not winning any GOTY awards, but there certainly have been worse games. However, it
does come with plenty of negatives. For starters, it exemplifies one of the worst things wrong with
celebrity‐endorsed video games – making it all about the celeb. Everything in this game is supposed
to remind you how awesome 50 Cent is and how you’re supposed to be worshipping him. This
doesn’t necessarily make a game bad, but it does make it annoying as hell. If you are a 50 Cent fan,
this does have a lot to offer. Besides wreaking havoc with Fiddy and his G‐Unit cohorts, the game
also features over 40 tracks including 18 made exclusively for the game. However, even the most
diehard fan will eventually find the violence and swearing too corny. For everyone else, it takes
about 2 minutes. It is just so completely over‐the‐top that something which is supposed to be
intimidating and badass just becomes hilarious and, after a while, tedious and embarrassing.
4. William Shatner’s TekWar
When he wasn’t busy starring in one of the most iconic TV series of all time, William Shatner also
wrote Star Trek fan fiction known as TekWar. Apparently, this series of novels (which were actually
ghost‐written by a real sci‐fi author) was popular enough on its own that it inspired a TV series, a
comic book series and, of course, its own video game. So, in other words, this is a video game based
on a franchise which is a spinoff of a popular TV show. Well, they all had one thing in common:
William Shatner. Just in case you didn’t have your fill yet, he also has the most screen time in the
TekWar game, playing the role of the narrator who appears before and after each level. Shatner‐
overload aside, this game was bad on its own merits. It had incredibly boring combat despite the
unique (at the time) feature of being able to shoot pretty much anyone you wanted. It was also
very buggy and the missions were usually the same thing over and over again. Not even the
hardcore Trekkies should try this one.
3. Shaq Fu
Bet you thought this was going to be at the top of the list. After all, the internet community has
unequivocally named this to be one of the worst games ever made. Honestly, Shaq Fu might not
deserve that title. It is quite bad in every single aspect, but it is not the worst in any particular way.
And it is a fitting addition to Shaquille O’Neal’s ever expanding portfolio of horrible things that have
nothing to do with basketball. In this case, we are talking about a 2D fighting game where Shaq
himself takes on a gallery of baddies in order to defeat an evil mummy and save some kid. Simply
looking at gameplay footage might suggest that this is an OK fighter. However, it needs to be played
in order to be truly experienced. Every single hit is based on luck‐of‐the‐draw. You press the button
and the game might decide to register it if it feels like it. This will make your character throw a
punch or a kick but you still need to be lucky in order for it to actually register due to awkward hit
detection. Unlike most other games on this list, Shaq Fu at least got to be appreciated for its
awfulness. On the one hand, a campaign and a website were created in order to find and destroy
all copies of the game (we’re not kidding). On the other hand, a crowdfunding campaign for a
sequel managed to exceed its goal of $450,000. So this might not be the last time Shaq shows off
his fighting skills. And it’s not like it’s the worst thing he’s ever done (looking at you, Kazaam).
2. Wu-Tang: Shaolin Style
If you are looking for a genuinely bad fighting game with celebs (for whatever reason) then Shaolin
Style is much better suited for your needs than Shaq Fu. It features not one, not two, but all nine
members of the Wu‐Tang Clan in an all‐out brawler with intense violence and a four‐player fighting
mode. In fact, that would be its saving feature – the fact that four players can battle each other at
once. It was pretty innovative at the time and allowed for some entertaining moments with friends
provided you could all somehow find a way to get over the extremely poor controls and almost
non‐existent frame rate. There is actually quite a story behind the development of the game. The
company that made it, Paradox Entertainment, is the one responsible for the notorious Thrill Kill,
a game which was never released due to its high content of violence. So, in turn, they just took the
engine and slapped a Wu‐Tang logo on the cover and made this instead, leaving us with thoughts
of what could have been.
1. Home Improvement: Power Tool Pursuit
You remember that discussion at the beginning of the article between two video game execs? How
they took a successful sitcom and made a completely nonsensical game out of it. That wasn’t purely
fictional, it was a talk which (we assume) happened at one point while developing Home
Improvement: Power Tool Pursuit. For those of you unaware, Home Improvement was a big ratings
hit in the 90s. It was a typical sitcom with a typical American family and a typical dad who likes to
think he’s cool and handy, but it actually comical and clumsy. Admittedly, it’s pretty tough to come
up with a good video game out of that premise, but how you end up with him fighting off raptors
with a nail gun is anybody’s guess. This is worse than any other entry because it is not just endorsed
by a celebrity, but by a whole show. In Shaq Fu, the game might have absolutely nothing to do with
basketball, but at least it is still about Shaq, the guy most people bought the game for. Here,
however, you are left with almost nothing. There is almost no connection whatsoever between the
game and TV show except for your character looking a little like Tim Allen which, apparently, is not
enough to sell a game… not now, not then, not ever.
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