1 Nephi 18

1 Nephi 18

“I have often thought that Nephi’s being bound with cords and beaten by rods must have been more tolerable to him than listening to Laman and Lemuel’s constant murmuring.

Surely he must have said at least once, “Hit me one more time. I can still hear you.”

“Yes, life has its problems, and yes, there are negative things to face, but please accept one of Elder Holland’s maxims for living—no misfortune is so bad that whining about it won’t make it worse.

“Paul put it candidly, but very hopefully. He said to all of us: “Let no corrupt communication proceed out of your mouth, but [only] that which is good … [and] edifying, that it may minister grace unto the hearers and grieve not the holy Spirit of God. …Let all bitterness, and wrath, and anger, and clamour, and evil speaking, be put away from you. …And be ye kind one to another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even as God for Christ’s sake hath forgiven you.” (Ephesians 4:29–32). (Elder Jeffrey R. Holland, The Tongue of Angels, April 2007)

1 Nephi 18:1-6

What principles do

you see?

• v.1Why do you think Nephi’s revelation came ‘from time to time’?

• Why do you think Nephi wanted us to know that his revelation came “from time to time”?

• What relationship do you see between Nephi’s actions and the help he received from the Lord?

• When have you received guidance or assistance from the Lord, but you also needed to put forth your own effort to ACT/OBEY before the help came?

1 Nephi 18:9-20

A principle of sinning and

repentance…

Verse What happened to Laman and Lemuel What happens to us Personal OR Scriptural example

10 Nephi spoke to them with much soberness



A family member can try and help us




12 The Liahona stopped working




12 The Liahona stopped workingWe can lose the companionship/ direction of the Holy Ghost





13 There arose a great storm, a great and terrible tempest






A great storm/trial can arise in our lives







14 The tempest was exceeding sore on the fourth day








Our trials can become long and sore









17 The prophet Lehi called them to repent

s What happened to Laman and Lemuel What happens to us Personal OR Scriptural example









The prophet can call us to repentance











17-18

Lehi and Sariah suffered much because of them- almost to death











17-18


We can see our parents suffer because of our choices











17-18



19 Jacob and Joseph were hurt by their choices











17-18




We can see our family members hurt by our choices











17-18





19 Jacob and Joseph and Nephi’s wife and children pleaded with them











17-18






Our loved ones can plead with us to repent











17-18







15 They were on the brink of death











17-18







15, 20 They were on the brink of death The consequences of our

actions can push us to repent

1 Nephi 18:9-20

How much ‘force’ does the

Lord need to use to get you to

repent?

Share some modern examples of family sufferings from vs 9-22

• Vs 9 – fight about drinking, music, dancing

• Vs 11 – torture a sibling

• Vs 17 – insensitivity to a sick family member

• Vs 19 – humiliate the family in a public setting

FAMILY QUIZ1. Do I criticize family members more than I compliment them?2. Do I seek happiness more with friends or somewhere other than in my

home?3. Do my parents seem reluctant to talk to me about some of their feelings

and concerns?4. Do I attempt to guarantee things by physical force or coercion?5. Do family members appear to be fearful of me?6. Do I avoid sharing with other family members?7. Do I often feel angry toward family members?Adapted from H. Burke Peterson, Ensign, July 1989, p. 10-11

Dr. John Gottman (University of Washington), concluded after twenty years of research that the single, best predictor of divorce is when partners show _________________ in the relationship.Contempt: The opposite of respect; negative judgment, criticism, or sarcasm regarding the worth of an individual.

There are four major types of communication which reveal contempt: ‘You’ Language Universal Statements Attack the Person, no the Issue Invalidation of Feelings

CONTEMPT

“You” language • “You are the worst mom ever...”• “You should pay more attention to my

needs...”• “You need to help me now...”• “You have to understand my position...”

Universal statements• “You always leave the toilet seat up.”• “You’re always messing it up!”• “You are always so lazy!”• “You forget to do this every time!”• “You’re never help me!”

Attack the person, not the issue• Contemptuous communication: “You are so stupid!”

Effective communication: “You’re so smart, but I feel that what you did this morning was not very smart.”

• Contemptuous communication: “You never help me!”Effective communication: “I noticed that you forgot to help me.”

• Contemptuous communication: “You’re always forgetting about me!”Effective communication: “I know you have a lot on your mind lately. I think it would be good for us talk so we can reconnect.”

Invalidate feelings• “I don’t care what you think!”• “That is totally unfounded!”• “You’re blowing things way out of proportion!”• “Stop over-reacting!"

“Recognizing the barriers to communication—and

understanding how they can be overcome—will help us

express the love we feel within our families. And when communication is

used as a vehicle for expressing love, it becomes a powerful force in uniting

and strengthening families.” (Mark Robinson, Barriers to family

Communication, Ensign, January 1985).

What principles of communication

have you learned from being in a

family?

Tips for building stronger families

1. Choose a number between 1-62. Read your statement3. Find a principle in your statement that would help strengthen a

family

Tips for building stronger families1. President Spencer W. Kimball: “Thy husband … shall rule over thee”

(Gen 3:19). I question the word rule. It gives the wrong impression. I would prefer to use the word preside because that’s what he does. A righteous husband presides over his wife and family.” (Ensign, Mar. 1976, p. 72.)

2. "President Brigham Young explained that our families are not yet ours. The Lord has committed them to us to see how we will treat them. Only if we are faithful will they be given to us forever."(Gospel Principles [manual, 1997], 231). (From “The Importance of the Family,” Ensign, May 2003, 40)

3. “When God wants a great work done in the world or a great wrong righted, he goes about it in a very unusual way. He doesn't stir up his earthquakes or send forth his thunderbolts. Instead, he has a helpless baby born, perhaps in a simple home of some obscure mother. The greatest force in the world are not the earthquakes and the thunderbolts. The greatest force in the world are babies.” -E.T. Sullivan

Tips for building stronger families4. “Be a wise father who showers attention on each daughter. It will

bring joy to you and fulfillment to her. When a daughter feels the warmth and approval of her father, she will not likely seek attention in inappropriate ways. You will greatly enrich her life. Let her see you treat your wife and other women with admiration and honest respect” (Richard G. Scott, in Conference Report, Apr. 2000, 37).

5. “The most pitiful human ailment is a birdseed heart.” (Wilson Mizner)

6. “Some children do not respond to you, choosing an entirely different path. Father in Heaven has had that same experience. He continues to love them. Yet, I am sure, He has never blamed Himself for their unwise choices.” (Richard G. Scott, Ensign, CR May 1993, p. 34)

Video (14mins)

“In a general sense, our burdens come from three sources. [1] Some burdens are the natural product of the conditions of the world in which we live. Illness, physical disability, hurricanes, and earthquakes come from time to time through no fault of our own. . .. “[2] Other burdens are imposed on us by the misconduct of others. Abuse and addictions can make home anything but a heaven on earth for innocent family members. Sin, incorrect traditions, repression, and crime scatter burdened victims along the pathways of life. . . . “[3] Our own mistakes and shortcomings produce many of our problems and can place heavy burdens on our own shoulders. The most [difficult] burden we impose upon ourselves is the burden of sin”

L. Whitney Clayton (“That Your Burdens May Be Light,” Ensign, Nov. 2009)

1 Nephi 18

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1 Nephi 18