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Business Writing for the FIA Workplace

- Class One/Two Review -

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Business Writing Is . . .

Purposeful. It solves problems and conveys information.

Economical. It is concise. Reader-oriented. It focuses on the

receiver, not the sender.

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Three Main Functions of Business Communication

To inform To persuade To promote goodwill

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Purposeful, Positive, Reader Directed

Spotlight receiver benefits (with direct deposit, you’ll get paid more quickly and more easily).

Cultivate the "you" view (you will receive your pay in your bank account).

Express thoughts positively (you will be happy with the new system, not you won't be sorry that we switched).

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The “You” View

Sender-focused“In compliance with our new policy, we are requiring all HRA employees to submit personal banking information.”

Receiver-focused“Please submit your banking information by June 11th to ensure your pay will be safely deposited into your bank account.”

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Exercise: The “You” View and Positive Communication

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The Writing Process

Phase 1: PrewritingDefining primary purpose, analyzing audience,

adapting message to audience, achieving primary purpose

Phase 2: WritingOrganizing information, choosing writing plan ,

composing

Phase 3: RevisingReview draft, remember purpose, revise, revise, revise

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Prewriting: Define Your Purpose

To inform? To persuade? To promote goodwill?

________________________________ What do you want your reader to do? What action should your

communication produce?

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What Response Do You Anticipate?

Will your readers be neutral, positive, indifferent?

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Audience Response Determines Pattern of Organization

If mildly intereste

d

If pleased If neutral

DIRECT PATTERN

Good Newsor

Main Idea

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Audience Response Determines Pattern of Organization

If displeased or

disappointed

If unwilling oruninterested

If hostile

INDIRECT PATTERN

Bad Newsor Main Idea

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Characteristics of Successful Memos and E-Mail Messages

Single topic Conversational tone Conciseness Graphic highlighting (bullets/numbers)

of key information

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Handout: Direct Approach and Memo Writing Plan

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Organization of Memos

Subject line Opening Body Closing

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Subject Line

Summarize the main idea. Subject: Direct Deposit Program Subject: Electronic Deposit Subject: Direct Deposit Replaces

Paycheck

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Subject Line: Explains Main Idea

What is your primary purpose: what do you want from your reader?

_______________________________ Your banking information needed for

new, easy-to-use direct deposit payroll system.

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Opening

Start directly; restate and amplify the main idea.

Indirect (ineffective) opening: I am writing this to let you know that in order to cut costs,

HRA will no longer be issuing pay checks. Our studies show that this new system will be much better and more cost effective.

All employees will no longer receive a paycheck. The entire FIA staff is now required to sign up for

electronic deposit of paychecks into their banks accounts.

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Opening States Main Idea: Main Idea is Your Primary Purpose

What do you want from your reader?

_______________________________ Give the payroll department a void

check to ensure you benefit from the new, safe, convenient, hassle-free payroll system.

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Body

Explains and discusses the topic. Provides reader benefits. Overcomes reader resistance. Reinforces required action. Uses graphic highlighting to emphasize

important information.

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Body

Compliance with direct deposit is mandatory. We need staff members to provide the name of their bank, bank account number, and routing number to the Payroll department in order to enroll in this program as quickly as possible. Your compliance is appreciated.

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Body

The direct deposit system automatically deposits your pay into your bank account. You will receive your payroll deduction information in the mail. There are many benefits with direct deposit:

No more standing in line to deposit your checkAccess your pay early (12:00 midnight on payday)No lost paychecksGet access to your pay even when you are sick or on

vacation

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Closing

Request action, including an end date. Summarize the message, or Provide a closing thought.

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Closing

If you have any questions, please don’t hesitate to ask.Your compliance with this policy is most appreciated.

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Closing

So please, to enjoy the benefits of direct deposit paychecks, provide your supervisor with the necessary banking information by June 30th.

I appreciate that with your busy schedules this task may be an inconvenience, but I am confident you will soon reap the many rewards of the new payroll system.

If you have any questions or concerns, please call Payroll at 212 222-2122.

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End