Skills Required To Communicate Difficult Situations

Oyewole O, Sarumi PhD

Introduction

• There has to be a balance between communicating something difficult and being as sensitive as possible to those concerned. 

• The skill set required to do this may seem somewhat contradictory as you may need to be both firm and gentle in your approach. 

Difficult Situations

• Jack's boss has just told him that, due to budget cuts, several people in his team will have to go. 

• Jack manages a happy, successful, team……but wonder how to deliver this bad news.

• As manager you should've experienced a similar situation, or will have to face one like it in the future. 

• By learning how to deliver bad news honestly, openly, and empathetically, you can help to preserve your working relationships, rather than damage them.

The Art of Delivery is Key!!!

• After all, the way you communicate bad news can have a direct impact on how the receiver perceives and reacts to the situation, and the way that you communicate in this difficult situation is likely be remembered – either positively or negatively – for a long time.

Some Bad News

• Some bad or difficult news you’ll have to deliver at some point in your career include:– Tell your boss that a major project is over

budget– Tell your team about lay-offs– To go on camera to say that your product has

safety issues.

Lessons From the Medical Field

• Much of the research on delivering bad news comes from medicine. It's so important, in this context, that the American Medical Association first included it in its code of conduct as far back as 1847.

• Physicians and trauma surgeons often have to deliver difficult – or even devastating – news to their patients. We can apply some of the strategies that they've adopted to a business environment.

• Research in the Journal of Trauma-Injury Infection & Critical Care outlines the qualities which family members value most in doctors or nurses who communicate bad news.

• This research shows that – from the receiver's perspective – the four most important factors are (in order of importance):– The news-giver's attitude.– The clarity of the message.– Privacy.– The person's ability to answer questions.

• These findings give a useful guide in the world of business as well.

• Essentially, they show that your attitude and communication skills have an enormous impact on how your message will be received.

1. Prepare Yourself Emotionally

• Bad news can be stressful for anyone who's involved in the conversation.

• To manage this stress, it's important to prepare yourself first.

• Take time to calm your mind, focus, and think about what you want to say.

• If you do this, your emotions are less likely to get the better of you during the conversation.

• By speaking in a calm and clear manner, you'll demonstrate that you're prepared and professional.

• As such, you're less likely to make the situation worse.

2. Information Gathering• Make sure you have your facts straight

before you begin, know what you are going to say and why you are going to say it.  Try to anticipate any questions or concerns others may have and think carefully about how you will answer questions.

• To identify some solutions, if there are any available. You may not be able to make things right, but you can minimize upset.

3. Being Assertive• Once you are sure that something

needs to be communicated then do so in an assertive way. Do not find yourself backing down or changing your mind mid-conversation, unless of course there is very good reason to do so.

4. Being Empathic• Put yourself in the other person’s

shoes and think about how they will feel about what you are telling them; how would you feel if the roles were reversed?  Give others time to ask questions and make comments.

5. Be Genuine• When the time comes to deliver the

message, try to be authentic and compassionate, and treat the other person with respect and dignity.

• Don't try to "sugarcoat" the truth; it's best to be forthright and honest about what's happened, and about what you're going to do to make it right.

• Your attitude and the clarity of your message are two very important components in this conversation. Be open, clear, and honest.

• If you're responsible for the situation, try to explain frankly how your actions contributed to the event.

• It may help to build trust with the other person by openly communicating what your role was, and by apologizing.

• Don't try to blame someone else or falsely justify your actions; this is ethically wrong, and it can damage your reputation.

6.Be Prepared to Negotiate• Often a difficult situation requires a

certain amount of negotiation, be prepared for this.  When negotiating, aim for a win-win outcome – that is, some way in which all parties can benefit.

7. Using Appropriate Verbal and Non-Verbal Language

• Speak clearly avoiding any jargon that other parties may not understand, give eye contact and try to sit or stand in a relaxed way.  Do not use confrontational language or body language.

8. Pay Attention to Setting and Timing

• Choose a private setting for your conversation with the person.

• Privacy allows the freedom to respond and cope in a way that's comfortable-a key part of helping them to move forward. Make sure no interruption.

• Pay attention to timing, it’s best to deliver bad news promptly, not skipping the essential preparation. "Sitting" on bad news can start rumors, and it might also damage your reputation.

9. Listen Actively• When stressed we tend to listen less

well, try to relax and listen carefully to the views, opinions and feelings of the other person/people.  Use clarification and reflection techniques to offer feedback and demonstrate that you were listening.

10. Staying Calm and Focused

• Communication becomes easier when we are calm, take some deep breaths and try to maintain an air of calmness, others are more likely to remain calm if you do.  Keep focused on what you want to say, don’t deviate or get distracted from the reason that you are communicating.

11. Where Appropriate, Focus on the Positive

• If appropriate, try to find a positive in the situation: it can help to remember the phrase "Every cloud has a silver lining."

• However, be sensitive with this. If the news you're delivering is truly bad, it will be counterproductive to point out positives.

12. Brevity & Clarity Is Key• Giving a brief message that quickly gets to

the point is generally appreciated by everyone involved.

• The line between brevity and insultingly short lies in clarity. If the message lacks clarity then you may leave more questions than you do answers

• When you can successfully march brevity with clarity in a concise and direct communication, you are mastering “bad news delivery,” as one of true hard parts of leadership.

Conclusion• Delivering bad news well can actually

strengthen your relationship with colleagues.

• It's definitely worth learning how to do it successfully!

• Being the bearer of bad news is never fun, but following these tips can make it a little less difficult for both you and those that you are delivering it to.

References Consulted• https://www.mindtools.com/pages/article/

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communication-difficult-situations.html• http://millennialceo.com/4-tips-delivering-

difficult-messages/• http://goalsandachievements.com/

leading/7-key-tips-for-dealing-with-difficult-situations/