Unapologetically YouLetting go of perfect

Lynne SchinellaCEO, Ripe Learning

Nobody’s perfect.I had had my first business for about 3 years and I decided as part of my marketing strategy I needed to do a seminar to attract new business. I invited two of my existing clients to give case studies and I was to open and MC. The breakfast seminar attracted about 100 people at a five star hotel. Now I was young and fabulous and should have been supremely confident. Except I HATED public speaking. Detested it. I could think about a speech in 3 months time and need to run to the toilet. Because of this I had done very little, in fact, very little, public speaking until then. I had scheduled about 10 minutes for my opening which in my head may as well have been 10 hours. I wrote it out word for word so I couldn’t possibly make a mistake, and the first few sentences I had written in big font on cards. So here’s what happened. I welcomed everyone. I got the first sentence out. That was it. I stared at the paper but couldn’t see any words. I stared at the audience like a fish out of water…………………..my client said he got up, went to the toilet, made a cup of tea and came back and I was still standing there.  

I vowed that feeling of total humiliation, of total failure (in my head alone) would never happen again. And like anything in life the biggest mistakes provide the best learning. And I want to share it with you, so that

you will have the tools to feel more confidence, and less anxiety, the next time you stand to present.

  

Let go of being perfect. Because when you do, you’ll let go of the fear, and allow yourself to be yourself.

  

All leadership roles require that you speak in a public forum.whether it’s to a small group at a team meeting, pitching an ideato the board, or speaking at an industry conference, this is a critical leadership skill.

Why?

You will inspire loyalty. Because not only can you inspire in public, but you will be able to get your messages to cut through with more clarityand increase productivity.

You’ll get noticed. You get promoted. You get head hunted.

People who can articulate themselves in public are seenas confident and knowledgeable.

Our attention span is shrinking.

The importance of being able to deliver a message that cuts through has never been clearer. We live in a world bombarded by information and our attention span is shrinking. • Most people can pay attention for 8 seconds• Managers get interrupted average 6 – 7 times a

day• 43% of people abandon a lengthy email after 30

seconds

• See Joseph McCormack 2013

 

One of our problems is that we all tend to communicate in a way that works for us, in a way that we want to be communicated to. We do this with public presentations as much as one on one. One size fits all doesn’t work. Just because it leaves my mouth doesn’t mean it gets into your head. These are mandatory skills whether we’re talking one on one, to a team or to a large audience. There is no magic bullet to presenting. It’s just another skill to be learned and it does come more naturally to some people than others. But it is still just a skill. Let go of the fact that it doesn’t need to be perfect. 

We are driven by fear.We are scared of forgetting our content. Fearful of looking foolish.

But your audience are behind you. They want you to succeed. They just don’t want to be bored, that’s all.

So give them a speech that’s relevant, that resonates.

Proficiency in 3 things will increase your confidence and diminish your anxiety.

What do I know about my audience?

• Who are they?• Male/female/age/industry/education?• What are their backgrounds?• What do they know about my topic?• What don’t they know about my topic?• Why have I been asked to present to this

group and not someone else?• Is there any reason for them to be hostile

towards me or my information?

  

And what about individual learning styles? How do people prefer to receive their information from you?How can you increase your stickability factor?

Take our short pop quiz to determine your own style.

Which Fruit best describes you?

a) Fast thinkerb) Thinks of lots of things at oncec) Deep thinkerd) Steady thinker

a) Opinionatedb) Inspirationalc) Stabilisingd) Team Player

a) Competitiveb) Enthusiasticc) Accurated) Easy going

a) Quick decisionsb) Spontaneousc) Procrastinatesd) Hesitant

a) Factualb) Storytellerc) Good listenerd) Empathic

a) Likes controlb) Likes varietyc) Likes structured) Likes direction

Which Fruit best describes you?

a) Independentb) Generousc) Carefuld) Loyal

a) Persuasiveb) Charismaticc) Organisedd) Kind

a) Workaholicb) Party Animalc) Tidy Freakd) Laid Back Larry

a) Likes resultsb) Likes func) Likes rulesd) Likes harmony

Highest number of A’s = Apple preferenceHighest number of B’s = Mango preferenceHighest number of C’s = Lime preferenceHighest number of D’s = Banana preference

Fruit Salad

At Ripe, we call our four preferential types Apples, Mangoes, Limes and Bananas. The Apple and Lime are left brain, the Mango and Banana right.

Note this a preference only. We are complex human beings who can not be boxed in by a few simple traits.

For more detailed explanations and ways to work with different people see www.bitemebook.com

We all like to receive our information in different ways.Those with Apple preferences like it hard, fast, factual, with case studies and no extra

words.Mangoes like it fast & fun with lots of variety, opportunities to engage, visuals and

stories.Limes like evidence based research, presented in a more deliberate style, with stats

and diagrams and always a handout to take away.Bananas like a chance to have chat breaks, personal stories that they can relate to and

an informal manner.

What about larger audiences?

With your own team the more you know and understand about what pushes their buttons the better. When you learn about individual behavior and motivation, you will know how to get through to them and get more of what you want. With a large audience you may ask how do I know? You can make some generalisations with certain groups to guide you.For example, industries like engineering, IT, risk management & project management by their nature will have a significant amount of high left brained Apples and Limes so you would ensure your content was high on facts and research.

This knowledge will help you finetune your delivery. But first and foremost you must have good content that resonates. And above all, you must be you. Because not everyone will like you or your presentation. That’s a fact.  

 

Knowing your audience will give you so much confidence. It also allows you to address any potential bias, hostility, language barriers etc. It’ wont make you perfect but it doesn’t have to be. Let go of perfect.

The next critical piece is having a purpose for your audience. All of you know about goals. We set goals in our businesses for different projects and everything you do should come back to that goal. Is this relevant to my goal today/this month/this year? If it’s not, get rid of it. We wouldn’t take a holiday without a destination in mind. We often choose the destination and then spend a lot of time mapping out to get there.But with presentations we often start with a blank PowerPoint and then start filling it. This results in a lot of information but not always information that the audience needs.

Defining the purpose for a presentation provides a compass for everything you do. When you start to build your content you can filter it through relevance to purpose, to that particular audience.

So once you have your audience, you must create a purpose for your presentation. Many people will say their purpose is to inform, educate or motivate. And all of these are true. Ultimately on this journey we want to move them from Point A to Point B. From thinking one thing, to thinking and maybe doing another.

Here’s the question…..What do you want your audience to think, feel and do?

If we’re talking to industry about a new initiative, I want them to:

THINK it’s a great idea

FEEL excited and buy in

DO- sign up and commit $$

This is where you really start connecting.When your purpose is clear and you write it in terms ofTHINK/FEEL/DO it will be easier to choose your content, you will be more confident and it will provide a roadmap for both you and the audience to follow.

Ethos Pathos Logos

Create relevant content.

You have no need to be nervous if you are delivering

content relevant and needed by your audience. They will be hungry for your information. If the topic you have to talk about is unfamiliar to you there is no way around it except huge amounts of work, knowing that next time it will be easier!

But most of us are asked to speak because we have some knowledge on a topic. .

Many of us, after we’ve been around for a while, are actually at a disadvantage suffering the curse of knowledge. We have too much information and often insist on cramming all of it to a 30 minute presentation. So In order to connect you need to aggressively edit the information for THAT particular audience, and it will differ depending on your audience.

Ethos Pathos Logos

Let’s take the topic of skiing.What do we know about skiing?Adrenalin.Scenery.Nature.Drinking.Fashion.Exercise,Ski bunnies.Cold.

And so on. Now here’s where you audience comes in.If you are talking to 18 year old boys or 50 something couples,you won’t give them all the same information. You will distil

until the content is relevant to THAT audience.

And once you have your content, write it out. Not like you would a document, but write it how you would speak it. Too many times we deliver a speech as we have written it, and this can result in

it sounding detached or even insincere. Write it how you speak it for moreemphasis on being you, and being real.

Unfortunately there is no easy way out here. Practice until you think you know it and then practice some more. First up you need to learn your content. Whilst I recommend writing your speech as you prepare it I’m definitely not a fan of the learn it by heart school. We have tools we use to help people get their presentations into chunks, into pieces of information that are more easily remembered and followed so ultimately you don’t need to use notes. 

Pathos Logos

Follow the Rule of 3. The number 3 is hardwired into our DNA. Look around and see examples everywhere, from fairytales to phone numbers to news items. 3 is easy. Easy for you and easy for the audience.So what if you forget some of your content? So what?

Let go of perfect. The audience doesn’t know. You may have 3 key points to deliver and you only remember 2. Are the 2 good ones? Of course they are! Don’t beat yourself up. Also, don’t be afraid to admit that you have left something out and ask the audience if it’s ok to go back. 

Your audience prefers a real human being. Someone who makes mistakes that they can relate to, just like them.

Even your most demanding audiences want someone

real, as long as your content resonates. Practice out loud. Practice with PowerPoint on the timer.Practice in front of a camera and then play it back. It’s brutal but then the best learning always is. 

Breathing.

When we’re nervous we breathe high up in the clavicle area. This means our breathing is shallow and rapid. When this happens our vocal chords constrict more resulting in not only “breathy” voice but higher than normal.

Controlled diaphragmatic breathing has several benefits. When we learn to breathe properly we can project more volume and sound more confident.

Deep breathing also aids in feelings of anxiety. It activates the hypothalamus in the brain, which connects to the pituitary gland, which in turn sends a signal to trigger a calming response.

There’s a great video here that explains diaphragmatic breathing well. It’s designed for singers but don’t be put off..the content is good.

Power Poses.

Amy Cuddy’s work as a social scientist has led to some really useful information about how we can reprogram our minds to feel assertive and comfortable, even in stressful situations which may include public speaking.

She suggests two minutes of “power posing’ can configure your brain to be confident.She says bodies can change our minds, minds can change our behaviour and behaviour can change our outcomes.

Check out her full TED talk here.

Don’t try to be something you’re not.

So often we try to be someone else, someone more extroverted perhaps, someone more funny.

But learn to keep the essence of who you are and you will connect with your audience, with more integrity, more reality.

1. Research your audience2. Educate yourself on learning styles3. Purpose using Think Feel Do4. Gather content/audience/distil5. Write like you speak6. Practice7. Breathe

  

If you really want to learn to speak confidently in public you need not just desire, but belief in yourself, and a commitment to long term change.

But the rewards are valuable. Higher productivity. Loyalty. Confidence. Self Esteem. And if you want it, promotion.

Speaking confidently in public is a critical leadership skill for the 21st century. Don’t let anything hold you back.

Lynne is available for conference speaking, training & consulting around

creating healthy, productive workplaces.

What are you waiting for???www.lynneschinella.com.au

lynne@lynneschinella.com.aut 612 9929 8989

sign up for museletter