“I’m not Santa Claus; I’m just the Manager: Helping your

Employees during the Holidays”December, 2015

Today’s Presenter: Margie Roop, LPCC-S; CEAP; SAP

* EAP & Clinical Counselor for 20 years; 38 years total in MH & AOD field

* Regional Director, LifeServices EAP’s Midwest Region

* Live in Barberton, OH; wife & mother

* “I know what I know” from the thousands of people I’ve seen in the EAP counseling setting & various MH & workplace venues.

Are you Santa Claus?

• I’ll bet last time you checked, uh….no!• Do you feel, though, that maybe you’re

expected to be just about EVERYTHING to your employees?• And, even though, you know the company

doesn’t put that kind of responsibility on you, you put it on yourself, don’t you?!• Woops, I did it again!

It’s Because you Care!

• This is what you signed up for, right (besides the BIG BUCKS)!• To be in charge of others, guiding their work

efforts, and meeting the company’s goals through your leadership of others.• But, you also know that your

employees….have personal lives which come with…………….

Personal Problems!• Marital/Relationships• Financial• Legal• Emotional• Substance Abuse• Eldercare responsibilities• Medical• Kid problems• Intellectual challenges• Life Skills

And those Personal Problems:

Cause problems in the workplace:• Absenteeism; tardiness• Mistakes• Lack of production• Employee conflict; violence• Poor morale• Accidents• Scrap• Substance abuse on the job

They also cause you to:

• Lose sleep; concentration• Re-work schedules; work assignments• Train; re-train• Feel anxious; angry; frustrated

• Lose patience!• Seem like you’re going in circles

The Thing is…You KNOW something’s wrong!

• Are unsure what to do about it.

• Afraid you’ll say or do the wrong thing.

• Possibly fear their reaction: violence; retaliation?

• Or, you feel “they need to work it out” on their own time…

I DO try!• You hear them out, offer

advice & the behavior continues!

• They offer plausible reasons for problems at work. You try to work with it, but it happens again.

• They offer plausible reasons why PERSONAL issues are affecting their work, but, the behaviors continue!

On top of that….

• Now, it’s the Holidays!• You’ve got deadlines• Goals to be met• Schedules to juggle• Will there be a bonus?• Business is slow….• MY life’s in shambles!

Help me, Mr. Wizard (er, SANTA CLAUS)!

• If you feel you have a great handle on your work group, that is awesome!• If you don’t, now’s the time to hunker

down & make some needed changes to how you supervise.• The Holidays will exacerbate any

previously existing problems within your work group because stress WILL increase!

The Holidays & Employees

Employees may be struggling with:Money Domestic conflictsUse of substancesIsolation due to family estrangementGrief issues due to having lost loved onesWorries over family gatheringsOverall increased stress in the household

What to do…?What to say?

• First, acknowledging that employees HAVE personal lives & experience problems now & then, is a first HUGE step!

How to support?

The Stress of the Holidays

• Acknowledging that Holiday stress is REAL is a great SECOND step in addressing the problem!

1999 Canadian Study

Having no family• Study of patients treated

by emergency room psychiatric services during the Christmas season: most common stressors were feelings of loneliness & “being without a family.”

Loneliness

Adam K. Anderson, Ph.D.

MediaIs that me?• Associate professor of

psychology at the University of Toronto:

• Bombardment of media during the Holidays.

• Showing images of smiling family & friends causes people to question the quality of their own relationships!

Isolation

Staying away from others

….makes things worse!

• One of the biggest predictors of depression especially during the Holidays.

• People who are lonely or who have feelings of disconnectedness avoid socializing at Christmastime.

• Withdrawing only exacerbates loneliness & depression.

• They may ask themselves: “Why can’t that be me?”

• We are SOCIAL beings.

• A painful reminder of what once was, whether that’s being geographically far from loved ones, estrangement from loved ones, or the death of a loved one.

• Or, memories so pleasant & very positive which cause sadness because parents/loved ones no longer with you.

The Holidays: a time of grief.

Being with Family Stress=Family? Here we go again!

• Can be a stressor, especially if there are unresolved family conflicts.

• Can be a stressor if certain family members fail to cooperate in party planning, hosting, a dish to pass, clean-up.

• Can cause stress due to their “predictable” behaviors when drinking alcohol.

• Can cause stress due to a number of other personality characteristics.

Family & the Holidays

• Christmases without Christmas presents or enough food.• Parents drunk or on drugs• Parents verbally fighting• Parent physically fighting (& drunk?)• Relatives drinking too much, fighting &

otherwise acting inappropriately.

Family Memories-not so pleasant ?

• What will I buy everyone (I hate shopping!)• How will I pay for Christmas-it costs a

fortune!?• Traffic is so bad I’m a wreck every time I

get where I’m going!• My relatives & their kids are going to be

here for a whole week-Lord, help me!• My kids’ energy levels & voice levels have

quadrupled-give me peace!• If I hear Alvin & the Chipmunks one more

time, I’ll smash the radio!

Employee Holiday Stress

Life Changes at the Holidays

It’s a little too much!

Throw me a life saver!

• Normal routines & schedules are disrupted.

• Rushing around to get things done

• Giving presents can be stressful: “am I giving enough?”

• Stores & malls crowded & hectic.• Holiday gatherings: too much

food, drink takes its toll.• “Ghosts of Christmas Past” can

remind us of disappointments & bring on depression.

• Lack of concentration due to worries & distractions associated with the Holidays.• Out-of-sort people tend to

be accident prone.• Taking more risks: hanging

lights outside, lugging the Christmas tree, shoveling snow; dealing with frustrated drivers.

More prone to accidents?

Then, there’s the Personalities with whom, as a supervisor, you must

contend!

Combine all that….You’ve got a recipe for disaster!

• It doesn’t have to be this way.• Be aware; be mindful of

your employees behaviors.• Ask them, if you see

something about them that concerns you: “Are you OK?”• Asking if they’re OK is

often ENOUGH to get them to open up!

Mention the Holidays!

Be up front! Provide Resources• Say, in a team meeting: “The

company/we/I recognize that the Holidays can be a tough time for some…” (whether it’s stress, money, traveling, family gatherings), so remember to use the EAP if you need to talk to someone confidentially.”

• The fact that you’re willing to SAY something about Holiday & Stress AND suggest the EAP will go a LONG way to help them!

Employee Assistance Programs: Best practices

• Able to talk to a Masters’-level counselor 24/7; phones answered live: no answering machines; no answering service: TALK NOW!

• Extensive opportunities for counseling appointments.

• Seen within two business days.• Crisis situations seen SAME DAY.• Website resources; “Instant Connect” for Full

WL clients).• Legal & Financial consultations• Full WL clients: Employee Support Specialists

telephonic resources for: housing, rental assistance, utility shut-offs, medical/medication crises, food, clothing, transportation, etc..

EAP BEST PRACTICES

• Account Manager available 24/7; licensed clinician; CEAP designation

• CISD response within two hours• # counseling sessions per incident • Consistent quarterly Utilization Reports• Responsive follow-up with Management Referrals• Proficient knowledge of local resources• Quarterly newsletters• Promotion of EAP: brochures, wallet cards, posters, monthly webinar/webcast notices

Promote the EAP

• Have posters prominently displayed.• Have wallet cards &

brochures easily accessible: cafeteria, break rooms, locker rooms.• If you receive emails

regarding newsletters, webinar & webcast announcements, forward this information to all.

Promoting the EAP• Invite your account

manager onsite to provide a “Lunch N Learn” seminar on stress, finances, healthy life choices.

• Gather employees together for monthly webinars or webcasts!

• Make sure to invite your EAP to your next Health/Benefits Fair.

• If employee divulges personal problems; give a wallet card or brochure to them. Encourage them to call us on their lunch hour or break. • If you feel it’s a crisis, direct them to a

confidential setting & encourage them to call us NOW. Stay nearby. Possibly they will need to leave to see us right away.• Maybe you will want to transport them;

depends on what you are seeing & your comfort level.

Follow-up from your EAP• If the EAP obtains a signed Release of

Information from the employee, EAP able to inform you of their attendance at the EAP, recommendations, & their compliance with the recommendations.• EAP should offer recommendations as it

relates to what the employee may need as they return to work (time off, reduced work schedule, mediation, etc..).

Keep things Relaxed during the holidays!

Depending on your production deadlines, schedules, add some good ‘ol Yuletide atmosphere to the workplace: Christmas tree in break room; decorations, baked goods, Christmas music out on shop floor, gift exchange, potluck, 50/50 drawing, raffle prizes, “Secret Santa”, Chinese Gift Exchange”

During the Holidays

• Consider organizing a donation effort from your team or department to a charitable children’s cause. Allow your employees to select the recipient organization.• Giving makes people feel good!• It allows them to get out of “their

head” & focus on someone with a greater need.• It promotes self-respect &

enhances self-esteem.

The Holidays

• Change everything for about six weeks of the year!

• It can be chaos, anxiety, depression, money woes, pressure, contact with extended family, travel, planning, expectations.

• Recognize this by talking about it & being sensitized to your employees’ experience of the Holidays.

Accept You are NOT Santa Claus….

• And, you don’t HAVE to be!• You can be supportive &

show your caring by following the above suggestions.• How can you add to this

list?• Get as creative as you

can & remember to enjoy YOUR Holidays as well!

Remember to Breathe!

• When the oxygen mask drops, remember to put it on YOU first!• If YOU are not living a

balanced life, you’ll be unable to model healthy behaviors!• You won’t be objective when it

comes to addressing issues with your charges.• How are YOU doing as the

Holidays surround us?

• If you feel isolated or lonely, seek out community, religious, or other social events. They can offer support & compassion.• Volunteering is a great way to lift your

spirits and make new friends!• You have something to give to others: always!

1. Reach Out

• Holidays don’t have to be perfect or “just like last year.” Choose a few traditions to hold on to & be open to creating new ones.• If your adult child cannot make it home this

year, find ways to celebrate-sharing pictures, emails, videos, facetime, etc…

2.Be Realistic

• Try to accept family members & friends as they are: even if they don’t live up to your expectations.• Set aside grievances until a more appropriate time for

discussion.• Be understanding if others get upset or distressed when

something goes awry; they’re probably feeling the stress of the Holidays themselves!

(Margie & her family….)

3. Set Aside Differences

• Before you go shopping, decide how much money you can afford to spend this season. Then, STICK TO IT!• Try these alternatives:• - donate to a charity in someone’s name• -give homemade gifts• -start a family gift exchange

4. Stick to a Budget

• Set aside specific days for shopping, baking, visiting friends & other activities.• Plan menus & then make your shopping lists.• Line up help for party prep & clean-up!

5. Plan Ahead

• Saying yes when you should say no can leave you feeling resentful & overwhelmed.• Friends & family will understand if you

can’t participate in every project or activity!• If it’s not possible to turn down

overtime, when requested, try to remove something else from your agenda to make up for lost time.•

6. Learn to Say NO

• Don’t Let the Holidays become a free-for-all. Overindulgence only adds to stress & guilt.• Have a healthy snack before

Holiday parties so you don’t go overboard on sweets, cheese, & drinks.• Get plenty of sleep• Incorporate regular physical

activities into each day.

7. Don’t Abandon Healthy Habits

Make time for yourself; even just 15 minutes alone, without

distractions, may refresh you long enough to handle everything you

need.Stress-reducing activities in order to

clear your mind & gain inner calm:Take a walk at night

Listen to soothing musicGet a massageRead a book

8. Take a Breather!

• If sadness or anxiousness persist:• Plagued by physical complaints• Unable to sleep• Irritable or hopeless• Unable to face routine chores• Call your doctor or a local mental health

professional, or call your EAP.

9. Seek Professional Help if You Need It!

Contact LifeServices EAP: 1-800-822-4847

For a Proposal

• Visit our website: www.lifeserviceseap.com

To Discuss Your Concerns!

• Contact Margie Roop mroop@lifeserviceseap.com

• Look me up on: www.slideshare.net

• Look me up on LinkedIn:• www.linkedin.com/in/lifeservices

eap.com