51
RAPID RAPPORT Creating Influence On Demand Silicon Valley Code Camp 1 Slide Deck: © 2011 B. Maloney

2011 SVCC: Creating Influence, On Demand

Embed Size (px)

DESCRIPTION

Techniques to build rapport fast. Given at Silicon Valley Code Camp, 10/2011

Citation preview

Page 1: 2011 SVCC:  Creating Influence, On Demand

Slide Deck: © 2011 B. Maloney 1

RAPID RAPPORTCreating Influence On Demand

Silicon Valley Code Camp

Page 2: 2011 SVCC:  Creating Influence, On Demand

Slide Deck: © 2011 B. Maloney 2

INCREASE COMMUNICATIONEFFECTIVENESS UP TO 5X

What you get:

Silicon Valley Code Camp

Page 3: 2011 SVCC:  Creating Influence, On Demand

Slide Deck: © 2011 B. Maloney 3

WOULD IT BE OK TO SEE A DEMO?http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YcTgjR5iV1Y

Silicon Valley Code Camp

Page 4: 2011 SVCC:  Creating Influence, On Demand

Slide Deck: © 2011 B. Maloney 4

Bernie Maloney, PE, CSMProduct Line and Program Managementmatrix management = Influence without Authority

Neuro Linguistic Programming PractitionerSilicon Valley Code Camp

Page 5: 2011 SVCC:  Creating Influence, On Demand

Slide Deck: © 2011 B. Maloney 5

I’VE GOT GOOD NEWS & BAD NEWS

Silicon Valley Code Camp

Page 6: 2011 SVCC:  Creating Influence, On Demand

Slide Deck: © 2011 B. Maloney 6Silicon Valley Code Camp

Page 7: 2011 SVCC:  Creating Influence, On Demand

Slide Deck: © 2011 B. Maloney 7Silicon Valley Code Camp

Page 8: 2011 SVCC:  Creating Influence, On Demand

OUTLINE

Outcome: Recognize and Practice Verbal Technology to Build Rapport Fast

• Why: Significance and Basis• How: Applications in Technology Teams• What’s Behind This: Get the Abstraction• Summary & Resources

Silicon Valley Code Camp Slide Deck: © 2011 B. Maloney 8

Page 9: 2011 SVCC:  Creating Influence, On Demand

Slide Deck: © 2011 B. Maloney 9

WHY = FIRST IMPRESSIONS MATTERBefore Confirmation Bias

Silicon Valley Code Camp

Page 10: 2011 SVCC:  Creating Influence, On Demand

Slide Deck: © 2011 B. Maloney 10

Does the 1st 60 seconds really matter?

Silicon Valley Code Camp

Page 11: 2011 SVCC:  Creating Influence, On Demand

Slide Deck: © 2011 B. Maloney 11

Ever had a telemarketer call?

Silicon Valley Code Camp

Page 12: 2011 SVCC:  Creating Influence, On Demand

Slide Deck: © 2011 B. Maloney 12

& you asked to hear more?

Silicon Valley Code Camp

Page 13: 2011 SVCC:  Creating Influence, On Demand

Slide Deck: © 2011 B. Maloney 13

Even socially

Silicon Valley Code Camp

Page 14: 2011 SVCC:  Creating Influence, On Demand

Slide Deck: © 2011 B. Maloney 14

Confirmation Bias

Silicon Valley Code Camp

Page 15: 2011 SVCC:  Creating Influence, On Demand

Slide Deck: © 2011 B. Maloney 15

HOW: APPLICATIONS IN TECHNOLOGY TEAMS

Silicon Valley Code Camp

Page 16: 2011 SVCC:  Creating Influence, On Demand

Slide Deck: © 2011 B. Maloney 16

Communication Goes (way, way, way) Beyond Wordse.g. Ray Birdwhistle, University of Pennsylvania

Verbal vectors:

Silicon Valley Code Camp

55%38%

7%

PhysiologyTonalityWords

Tone, PitchTempo: Speed & CadenceTimbreVolume

Page 17: 2011 SVCC:  Creating Influence, On Demand

Slide Deck: © 2011 B. Maloney 17

Translating into (Agile) Practice

Silicon Valley Code Camp

Page 18: 2011 SVCC:  Creating Influence, On Demand

Slide Deck: © 2011 B. Maloney 18

7%

Silicon Valley Code Camp

Page 19: 2011 SVCC:  Creating Influence, On Demand

Slide Deck: © 2011 B. Maloney 19

35+%

Silicon Valley Code Camp

Page 20: 2011 SVCC:  Creating Influence, On Demand

Slide Deck: © 2011 B. Maloney 20

55%

Silicon Valley Code Camp

Page 21: 2011 SVCC:  Creating Influence, On Demand

Slide Deck: © 2011 B. Maloney 21

5X? OR 10X?What if teams increase communication effectiveness by even half this?

Silicon Valley Code Camp

Page 22: 2011 SVCC:  Creating Influence, On Demand

Slide Deck: © 2011 B. Maloney 22Silicon Valley Code Camp

Page 23: 2011 SVCC:  Creating Influence, On Demand

Slide Deck: © 2011 B. Maloney 23

THE TIP? LOWER UNCONSCIOUS BARRIERS

Silicon Valley Code Camp

Page 24: 2011 SVCC:  Creating Influence, On Demand

Slide Deck: © 2011 B. Maloney 24

The Principle

Silicon Valley Code Camp

Page 25: 2011 SVCC:  Creating Influence, On Demand

Slide Deck: © 2011 B. Maloney 25

Build Rapport: Offer similar patternsTonality (35+%!)Words (7%): keys to how people represent information – another talkPhysiological (55%!)

Silicon Valley Code Camp

------------------------------------------

Page 26: 2011 SVCC:  Creating Influence, On Demand

Slide Deck: © 2011 B. Maloney 26

Pair off: Verbal Mirroring & MatchingKeep statements short (get multiple practice exchanges)Person A: Start with a QuestionPerson B: Short response, using similar verbal behaviors > QuestionSwitch roles at signal

Silicon Valley Code Camp

Tone, PitchTempo: Speed & CadenceTimbreVolume

Page 27: 2011 SVCC:  Creating Influence, On Demand

Slide Deck: © 2011 B. Maloney 27

Insights: Verbal Mirroring & Matching

Silicon Valley Code Camp

Page 28: 2011 SVCC:  Creating Influence, On Demand

Slide Deck: © 2011 B. Maloney 28

WHAT’S BEHIND THIS?Get the Abstraction

Silicon Valley Code Camp

Page 29: 2011 SVCC:  Creating Influence, On Demand

Slide Deck: © 2011 B. Maloney 29

It began in the Santa Cruz Mountains…

Silicon Valley Code Camp

Page 30: 2011 SVCC:  Creating Influence, On Demand

Slide Deck: © 2011 B. Maloney 30

Virginia Satir’s Change Model

Silicon Valley Code Camp

Page 31: 2011 SVCC:  Creating Influence, On Demand

Slide Deck: © 2011 B. Maloney 31

Principle: Success Leaves Footprints

Silicon Valley Code Camp

Page 32: 2011 SVCC:  Creating Influence, On Demand

Slide Deck: © 2011 B. Maloney 32

NLP MODEL OF COMMUNICATIONUnconscious Programming = Barrier: Friend or Foe? Fight or Flight?

Silicon Valley Code Camp

2B bps info

Mind processes~134 bps in groups of7 +/- 2 “chunks”

DeleteDistortGeneralize

Page 33: 2011 SVCC:  Creating Influence, On Demand

Slide Deck: © 2011 B. Maloney 33

Keep statements short (get multiple practice exchanges)Question || Short Response || Question backKeep movements gentle, and when noticed, offer similar behavior

Pair off: Layer in Physical Mirroring & Matching

Silicon Valley Code Camp

Tone, PitchTempo: Speed & CadenceTimbreVolume

Page 34: 2011 SVCC:  Creating Influence, On Demand

Slide Deck: © 2011 B. Maloney 34

Insights: Physical Mirroring & Matching

Silicon Valley Code Camp

Page 35: 2011 SVCC:  Creating Influence, On Demand

Slide Deck: © 2011 B. Maloney 35Silicon Valley Code Camp

Page 36: 2011 SVCC:  Creating Influence, On Demand

Slide Deck: © 2011 B. Maloney 36

Keep statements short (get multiple practice exchanges)Question || Short Response || Question backKeep movements gentle,

once physical rapport noticed, shift a little & observe

Pair off: Pacing & Leading

Silicon Valley Code Camp

Page 37: 2011 SVCC:  Creating Influence, On Demand

Slide Deck: © 2011 B. Maloney 37

Insights: Pacing & Leading

Silicon Valley Code Camp

Page 38: 2011 SVCC:  Creating Influence, On Demand

Slide Deck: © 2011 B. Maloney 38

BONUS (time permitting): Mis-MatchingKeep statements shortPerson A: State an insight from this or another source todayPerson B: Respond using VERY DIFFERENT verbal behaviorsSwitch roles at signal

Silicon Valley Code Camp

Tone, PitchTempo: Speed & CadenceTimbreVolume

Page 39: 2011 SVCC:  Creating Influence, On Demand

Slide Deck: © 2011 B. Maloney 39

Insights: Verbal Mis-Matching

Silicon Valley Code Camp

Page 40: 2011 SVCC:  Creating Influence, On Demand

Slide Deck: © 2011 B. Maloney 40

SUMMARY

Silicon Valley Code Camp

Page 41: 2011 SVCC:  Creating Influence, On Demand

Slide Deck: © 2011 B. Maloney 41

TWO TYPES OF STUDENTS

Silicon Valley Code Camp

Page 42: 2011 SVCC:  Creating Influence, On Demand

Slide Deck: © 2011 B. Maloney 42Silicon Valley Code Camp

Page 43: 2011 SVCC:  Creating Influence, On Demand

Slide Deck: © 2011 B. Maloney 43Silicon Valley Code Camp

Page 44: 2011 SVCC:  Creating Influence, On Demand

Slide Deck: © 2011 B. Maloney 44

DECIDE: WHICH TYPE ARE YOU?

Silicon Valley Code Camp

Page 45: 2011 SVCC:  Creating Influence, On Demand

Slide Deck: © 2011 B. Maloney 45

Communication Goes (way, way, way) Beyond Words

Tonality (35+%!)Words (7%): keys to how people represent informationPhysiological (55%!)

Silicon Valley Code Camp

55%38%

7%

PhysiologyTonalityWords

Page 46: 2011 SVCC:  Creating Influence, On Demand

Slide Deck: © 2011 B. Maloney 46

Building Rapport Lowers Unconscious Barriers

Silicon Valley Code Camp

Page 47: 2011 SVCC:  Creating Influence, On Demand

Slide Deck: © 2011 B. Maloney 47

35+%: Observe & Signal Rapport by Verbal MatchingTone, PitchTempo: Speed & CadenceTimbreVolume

Silicon Valley Code Camp

Page 48: 2011 SVCC:  Creating Influence, On Demand

Slide Deck: © 2011 B. Maloney 48

RESOURCES

Seminal Work:Richard Bandler & John Grinder,Frogs into Princes

For a far easier Introduction:Michael Brooks, Instant Rapport (available in libraries)

Silicon Valley Code Camp

Page 49: 2011 SVCC:  Creating Influence, On Demand

Slide Deck: © 2011 B. Maloney 49

Bernie Maloney, PE, CSMTurning Strategies into Results, from startup to beyond $100M

about.me/berniemaloneySilicon Valley Code Camp

Page 50: 2011 SVCC:  Creating Influence, On Demand

Slide Deck: © 2011 B. Maloney 50

FINUt Prosim. Namaste.

Silicon Valley Code Camp

Page 51: 2011 SVCC:  Creating Influence, On Demand

Slide Deck: © 2011 B. Maloney 51Silicon Valley Code Camp