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HAVING A MARRIAGEOF INFLUENCE
Week 2: Impacting Your Spouse
Guest Speakers
Shane & Andrea FellOctober 9, 2010
LivingMarriageelmbrook church young couples fellowship
LivingMarriageelmbrook church young couples fellowship
LivingMarriageelmbrook church young couples fellowship
MATTHEW 5:13-16
MATTHEW 5:13-16You are the salt of the earth. But if the salt loses its saltiness, how can it be made salty
again? It is no longer good for anything, except to be thrown out and trampled by men. You
are the light of the world. A city on a hill cannot be hidden. Neither do people light a
lamp and put it under a bowl. Instead they put it on its stand, and it gives light to everyone in the house. In the same way, let your light shine
before men, that they may see your good deeds and praise your Father in heaven.
HAVING A MARRIAGE OF INFLUENCE
Impacting Your Spouse
“Marriage is a divine conspiracy, arranged by
God for your transformation.”
~ John & Stasi Eldredge
HEBREWS 10:24
HEBREWS 10:24
And let us consider how we may spur one another on
toward love and good deeds.
IMPACTING YOUR SPOUSE
IMPACTING YOUR SPOUSE
1. Understanding
2. Encouraging
3. Interceding
IMPACTING YOUR SPOUSE
1. Understanding
2. Encouraging
3. Interceding
• Understanding your Situation
• Understanding your Spouse
• Understanding your Savior
UNDERSTANDING YOUR SITUATION
UNDERSTANDING YOUR SITUATION
1. Marriage is not easy
2. Our attitude is important
3. Beware of the enemy
JAMES 3:2We all stumble in many ways. If anyone is never at fault in what he says, he is a perfect man, able to keep his whole body in check.
JAMES 3:2We all stumble in many ways. If anyone is never at fault in what he says, he is a perfect man, able to keep his whole body in check.
ROMANS 3:23For all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God.
YOUR ATTITUDE MATTERS
YOUR ATTITUDE MATTERS
What’s your heart attitude toward your spouse? Is it positive or negative?
How do you speak about your spouse when you are not in their presence?
EPHESIANS 4:29
EPHESIANS 4:29
Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths,
but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit
those who listen.
“Happiness in marriage waits upon the shift
from changing you to changing me”
~ John & Stasi Eldredge
MATTHEW 7:3-5
MATTHEW 7:3-5
Why do you look at the speck of sawdust in your brother's eye and pay no attention to the plank in
your own eye? How can you say to your brother, 'Let me take the
speck out of your eye,' when all the time there is a plank in your own eye? You hypocrite, first take
the plank out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to remove the speck from your brother's eye.
BEWARE THE ENEMY
BEWARE THE ENEMY
We have any enemy who does not want to see us succeed in becoming
more Christ-like in our marriage.The “father of lies” (John 8:44).
Relativity - M.C. Escher
JAMES 4:7
JAMES 4:7Submit yourselves, then, to
God. Resist the devil, and he will flee from you.
UNDERSTANDING YOUR SPOUSE
UNDERSTANDING YOUR SPOUSE
1. Know your spouse’s story
2. Champion your spouse’s gifts
3. Understand your spouse’s needs
QUESTIONS TO CONSIDER
Are you a student of your spouse?Do you know their story?
QUESTIONS TO CONSIDER
I PETER 4:10
I PETER 4:10Each one should use whatever gift he has received to serve others, faithfully administering
God's grace in its various forms.
*For more information on spiritual gifts, see Romans 12, I Corinthians 12, and Ephesians 4.
UNDERSTANDING YOUR S.H.A.P.E.
UNDERSTANDING YOUR S.H.A.P.E.
S piritual Gifts
UNDERSTANDING YOUR S.H.A.P.E.
S piritual Gifts
H eart
UNDERSTANDING YOUR S.H.A.P.E.
S piritual Gifts
H eart
A bilities
UNDERSTANDING YOUR S.H.A.P.E.
S piritual Gifts
H eart
A bilities
Personality
UNDERSTANDING YOUR S.H.A.P.E.
S piritual Gifts
H eart
A bilities
Personality
Experiences
JAMES 1:2-4Consider it pure joy, my
brothers, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of
your faith develops perseverance. Perseverance must finish its work so that
you may be mature and complete, not lacking
anything.
JAMES 1:2-4Consider it pure joy, my
brothers, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of
your faith develops perseverance. Perseverance must finish its work so that
you may be mature and complete, not lacking
anything.
EPHESIANS 2:10
For we are God's workmanship, created in Christ Jesus to do good
works, which God prepared in advance for us to do.
Are you a champion of your spouse usingtheir spiritual gifts, or a stumbling block?
QUESTION TO CONSIDER
HOW DO YOU RECHARGE?
UNDERSTANDING YOUR SAVIOR
UNDERSTANDING YOUR SAVIOR
• You have a Savior (and it’s not your spouse)
• Your spouse has a Savior (and it’s not you)
PSALM 62:1My soul finds rest in God alone; my salvation comes
from him.
PSALM 62:1My soul finds rest in God alone; my salvation comes
from him.
MATTHEW 6:33 But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things
will be given to you as well.
“The greatest gift you can give to your marriage
is for you to develop a real relationship with
Jesus Christ.”
~ John & Stasi Eldredge
QUESTION TO CONSIDER
Are you more concerned with yourspouse pleasing God than you are
with your spouse pleasing you?
QUESTION TO CONSIDER
QUESTION TO ASK YOUR SPOUSE
How can I help cheer you onin your relationship with God?
QUESTION TO ASK YOUR SPOUSE
IMPACTING YOUR SPOUSE
1. Understanding
2. Encouraging
3. Interceding
IMPACTING YOUR SPOUSE
1. Understanding
2. Encouraging
3. Interceding• Encourage by word
• Encourage by deed
• Share how God is at work
GALATIANS 5:22-23
But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience,
kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control.
GALATIANS 5:22-23
But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience,
kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control.
JAMES 2:17-18Faith by itself, if it is not accompanied by action,
is dead.
•Share what God is doing in your life, and ask your spouse what God is doing in their life.
•Prayerfully encourage your spouse to grow in their walk with Christ and to serve (individually and as a couple).
IMPACTING YOUR SPOUSE
1. Understanding
2. Encouraging
3. Interceding
IMPACTING YOUR SPOUSE
1. Understanding
2. Encouraging
3. Interceding• Pray for your spouse
• Pray with your spouse
JAMES 5:16
JAMES 5:16Therefore confess your sins to each other and pray for each
other so that you may be healed. The prayer of a righteous man is powerful and effective.
INTERCEDING FOR YOUR SPOUSE
INTERCEDING FOR YOUR SPOUSE
•Pray for your spouse, specifically, every day.
•Pray with your spouse, specifically, every day.
CLOSING THOUGHTS
CLOSING THOUGHTS
HEBREWS 10:24And let us consider how we may spur one another on
toward love and good deeds.
APPLICATION
APPLICATION
• Become a student of your spouse.
APPLICATION
• Become a student of your spouse.
• Become the champion of your spouse’s gifts. Take joy in their growth and celebrate.
APPLICATION
• Become a student of your spouse.
• Become the champion of your spouse’s gifts. Take joy in their growth and celebrate.
• Consider where might you need to sacrifice to help your spouse grow.
APPLICATION
• Become a student of your spouse.
• Become the champion of your spouse’s gifts. Take joy in their growth and celebrate.
• Consider where might you need to sacrifice to help your spouse grow.
• Openly share what God is doing in your life.
APPLICATION
• Become a student of your spouse.
• Become the champion of your spouse’s gifts. Take joy in their growth and celebrate.
• Consider where might you need to sacrifice to help your spouse grow.
• Openly share what God is doing in your life.
• Pray for and with each other every day.
SMALL GROUPDISCUSSION
SMALL GROUPDISCUSSION
• Share something that you appreciate about your spouse, or give an example of something your spouse has done recently that demonstrated serving love.
• How do you “recharge” individually or as a couple?
• How might you and your spouse use your gifts, abilities, and experiences to serve Christ?
CONNECT WITH LIVING MARRIAGE ONLINE
CONNECT WITH LIVING MARRIAGE ONLINE
Blog - livingmarriage.wordpress.com
Follow us on Twitter @livingmarriage
HAVING A MARRIAGEOF INFLUENCEWeek 3: Impacting Others
Guest Speakers
Dick & Cindy GreenupOctober 16, 2010
LivingMarriageelmbrook church young couples fellowship
LivingMarriageelmbrook church young couples fellowship
LivingMarriageelmbrook church young couples fellowship
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