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HAVING A MARRIAGE OF INFLUENCE Week 2: Impacting Your Spouse Guest Speakers Shane & Andrea Fell October 9, 2010 LivingMarriage elmbrook church young couples fellowship

Having a Marriage of Influence - Impacting Your Spouse 10.9.2010

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Page 1: Having a Marriage of Influence - Impacting Your Spouse 10.9.2010

HAVING A MARRIAGEOF INFLUENCE

Week 2: Impacting Your Spouse

Guest Speakers

Shane & Andrea FellOctober 9, 2010

LivingMarriageelmbrook church young couples fellowship

LivingMarriageelmbrook church young couples fellowship

LivingMarriageelmbrook church young couples fellowship

Page 2: Having a Marriage of Influence - Impacting Your Spouse 10.9.2010

MATTHEW 5:13-16

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MATTHEW 5:13-16You are the salt of the earth. But if the salt loses its saltiness, how can it be made salty

again? It is no longer good for anything, except to be thrown out and trampled by men. You

are the light of the world. A city on a hill cannot be hidden. Neither do people light a

lamp and put it under a bowl. Instead they put it on its stand, and it gives light to everyone in the house. In the same way, let your light shine

before men, that they may see your good deeds and praise your Father in heaven.

Page 4: Having a Marriage of Influence - Impacting Your Spouse 10.9.2010

HAVING A MARRIAGE OF INFLUENCE

Impacting Your Spouse

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Page 6: Having a Marriage of Influence - Impacting Your Spouse 10.9.2010

“Marriage is a divine conspiracy, arranged by

God for your transformation.”

~ John & Stasi Eldredge

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HEBREWS 10:24

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HEBREWS 10:24

And let us consider how we may spur one another on

toward love and good deeds.

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IMPACTING YOUR SPOUSE

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IMPACTING YOUR SPOUSE

1. Understanding

2. Encouraging

3. Interceding

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IMPACTING YOUR SPOUSE

1. Understanding

2. Encouraging

3. Interceding

• Understanding your Situation

• Understanding your Spouse

• Understanding your Savior

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UNDERSTANDING YOUR SITUATION

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UNDERSTANDING YOUR SITUATION

1. Marriage is not easy

2. Our attitude is important

3. Beware of the enemy

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Page 15: Having a Marriage of Influence - Impacting Your Spouse 10.9.2010

JAMES 3:2We all stumble in many ways. If anyone is never at fault in what he says, he is a perfect man, able to keep his whole body in check.

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JAMES 3:2We all stumble in many ways. If anyone is never at fault in what he says, he is a perfect man, able to keep his whole body in check.

ROMANS 3:23For all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God.

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YOUR ATTITUDE MATTERS

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YOUR ATTITUDE MATTERS

What’s your heart attitude toward your spouse? Is it positive or negative?

How do you speak about your spouse when you are not in their presence?

Page 19: Having a Marriage of Influence - Impacting Your Spouse 10.9.2010

EPHESIANS 4:29

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EPHESIANS 4:29

Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths,

but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit

those who listen.

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Page 22: Having a Marriage of Influence - Impacting Your Spouse 10.9.2010

“Happiness in marriage waits upon the shift

from changing you to changing me”

~ John & Stasi Eldredge

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MATTHEW 7:3-5

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MATTHEW 7:3-5

Why do you look at the speck of sawdust in your brother's eye and pay no attention to the plank in

your own eye? How can you say to your brother, 'Let me take the

speck out of your eye,' when all the time there is a plank in your own eye? You hypocrite, first take

the plank out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to remove the speck from your brother's eye.

Page 25: Having a Marriage of Influence - Impacting Your Spouse 10.9.2010

BEWARE THE ENEMY

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BEWARE THE ENEMY

We have any enemy who does not want to see us succeed in becoming

more Christ-like in our marriage.The “father of lies” (John 8:44).

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Relativity - M.C. Escher

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JAMES 4:7

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JAMES 4:7Submit yourselves, then, to

God. Resist the devil, and he will flee from you.

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UNDERSTANDING YOUR SPOUSE

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UNDERSTANDING YOUR SPOUSE

1. Know your spouse’s story

2. Champion your spouse’s gifts

3. Understand your spouse’s needs

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QUESTIONS TO CONSIDER

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Are you a student of your spouse?Do you know their story?

QUESTIONS TO CONSIDER

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I PETER 4:10

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I PETER 4:10Each one should use whatever gift he has received to serve others, faithfully administering

God's grace in its various forms.

*For more information on spiritual gifts, see Romans 12, I Corinthians 12, and Ephesians 4.

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UNDERSTANDING YOUR S.H.A.P.E.

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UNDERSTANDING YOUR S.H.A.P.E.

S piritual Gifts

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UNDERSTANDING YOUR S.H.A.P.E.

S piritual Gifts

H eart

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UNDERSTANDING YOUR S.H.A.P.E.

S piritual Gifts

H eart

A bilities

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UNDERSTANDING YOUR S.H.A.P.E.

S piritual Gifts

H eart

A bilities

Personality

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UNDERSTANDING YOUR S.H.A.P.E.

S piritual Gifts

H eart

A bilities

Personality

Experiences

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Page 43: Having a Marriage of Influence - Impacting Your Spouse 10.9.2010

JAMES 1:2-4Consider it pure joy, my

brothers, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of

your faith develops perseverance. Perseverance must finish its work so that

you may be mature and complete, not lacking

anything.

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JAMES 1:2-4Consider it pure joy, my

brothers, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of

your faith develops perseverance. Perseverance must finish its work so that

you may be mature and complete, not lacking

anything.

EPHESIANS 2:10

For we are God's workmanship, created in Christ Jesus to do good

works, which God prepared in advance for us to do.

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Are you a champion of your spouse usingtheir spiritual gifts, or a stumbling block?

QUESTION TO CONSIDER

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HOW DO YOU RECHARGE?

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UNDERSTANDING YOUR SAVIOR

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UNDERSTANDING YOUR SAVIOR

• You have a Savior (and it’s not your spouse)

• Your spouse has a Savior (and it’s not you)

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PSALM 62:1My soul finds rest in God alone; my salvation comes

from him.

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PSALM 62:1My soul finds rest in God alone; my salvation comes

from him.

MATTHEW 6:33 But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things

will be given to you as well.

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“The greatest gift you can give to your marriage

is for you to develop a real relationship with

Jesus Christ.”

~ John & Stasi Eldredge

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QUESTION TO CONSIDER

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Are you more concerned with yourspouse pleasing God than you are

with your spouse pleasing you?

QUESTION TO CONSIDER

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QUESTION TO ASK YOUR SPOUSE

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How can I help cheer you onin your relationship with God?

QUESTION TO ASK YOUR SPOUSE

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IMPACTING YOUR SPOUSE

1. Understanding

2. Encouraging

3. Interceding

Page 59: Having a Marriage of Influence - Impacting Your Spouse 10.9.2010

IMPACTING YOUR SPOUSE

1. Understanding

2. Encouraging

3. Interceding• Encourage by word

• Encourage by deed

• Share how God is at work

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Page 61: Having a Marriage of Influence - Impacting Your Spouse 10.9.2010

GALATIANS 5:22-23

But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience,

kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control.

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GALATIANS 5:22-23

But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience,

kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control.

JAMES 2:17-18Faith by itself, if it is not accompanied by action,

is dead.

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•Share what God is doing in your life, and ask your spouse what God is doing in their life.

•Prayerfully encourage your spouse to grow in their walk with Christ and to serve (individually and as a couple).

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IMPACTING YOUR SPOUSE

1. Understanding

2. Encouraging

3. Interceding

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IMPACTING YOUR SPOUSE

1. Understanding

2. Encouraging

3. Interceding• Pray for your spouse

• Pray with your spouse

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JAMES 5:16

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JAMES 5:16Therefore confess your sins to each other and pray for each

other so that you may be healed. The prayer of a righteous man is powerful and effective.

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INTERCEDING FOR YOUR SPOUSE

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INTERCEDING FOR YOUR SPOUSE

•Pray for your spouse, specifically, every day.

•Pray with your spouse, specifically, every day.

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CLOSING THOUGHTS

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CLOSING THOUGHTS

HEBREWS 10:24And let us consider how we may spur one another on

toward love and good deeds.

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APPLICATION

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APPLICATION

• Become a student of your spouse.

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APPLICATION

• Become a student of your spouse.

• Become the champion of your spouse’s gifts. Take joy in their growth and celebrate.

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APPLICATION

• Become a student of your spouse.

• Become the champion of your spouse’s gifts. Take joy in their growth and celebrate.

• Consider where might you need to sacrifice to help your spouse grow.

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APPLICATION

• Become a student of your spouse.

• Become the champion of your spouse’s gifts. Take joy in their growth and celebrate.

• Consider where might you need to sacrifice to help your spouse grow.

• Openly share what God is doing in your life.

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APPLICATION

• Become a student of your spouse.

• Become the champion of your spouse’s gifts. Take joy in their growth and celebrate.

• Consider where might you need to sacrifice to help your spouse grow.

• Openly share what God is doing in your life.

• Pray for and with each other every day.

Page 79: Having a Marriage of Influence - Impacting Your Spouse 10.9.2010

SMALL GROUPDISCUSSION

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SMALL GROUPDISCUSSION

• Share something that you appreciate about your spouse, or give an example of something your spouse has done recently that demonstrated serving love.

• How do you “recharge” individually or as a couple?

• How might you and your spouse use your gifts, abilities, and experiences to serve Christ?

Page 81: Having a Marriage of Influence - Impacting Your Spouse 10.9.2010

CONNECT WITH LIVING MARRIAGE ONLINE

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CONNECT WITH LIVING MARRIAGE ONLINE

Blog - livingmarriage.wordpress.com

Follow us on Twitter @livingmarriage

Page 83: Having a Marriage of Influence - Impacting Your Spouse 10.9.2010

HAVING A MARRIAGEOF INFLUENCEWeek 3: Impacting Others

Guest Speakers

Dick & Cindy GreenupOctober 16, 2010

LivingMarriageelmbrook church young couples fellowship

LivingMarriageelmbrook church young couples fellowship

LivingMarriageelmbrook church young couples fellowship

Looking Ahead ...