Progress of emotions presentation Jeffreys

NMC Conference Presentation 2012

Have been mediating for 20 years

Nationally Accredited

Qualification in Health and Education

Not a psychologist, counsellor or lawyer

Manage the Community Mediation Service of South Australia

C.EO. Munkatoo Training and Research

Undertake mediations for Mediation Australia in a private capacity

Conflict:

An unavoidable part of

being human

Emotions: Also an unavoidable part of being human.

Myths

◦ That mediation is not about emotion ◦ That mediation is always rational and cognitive

◦ That emotions can be ‘managed’ or ‘vented’ appropriately then ignored

Emotions are not always managed well by

the client or the mediator

Emotions manifest in many ways both overtly and covertly

There will be no lasting result without an emotional attachment to the outcome

Transition / Agenda Setting

Introduction

Conclusion

Parties Opening Statements

Mediator Summaries

Identification / Exploration of Issues / Clarification

Negotiation

Caucus

Further Negotiation / Agreement

Basic Mediation Process

Past Focus

Future Focus

Party A is a couple in their late 50’s

Successful writers

Own their own home

Have lived in the street for about 15 years

Travel extensively for research, attend literary events, give readings or take master classes on the art of writing.

Desire peace and quiet when they are home

No children at home

Retired couple

Own their own home and have lived in the street for nearly 20 years

Have travelled around South Australia for work ( Police Officer) but not overseas and prefer to be home

Children grown, no grandchildren

Owners of Cocky and a small black yappy dog

Introducing ‘Cocky’ Cocky was born in Naracoorte in South Australia and as a young bird was attacked by a dog and was subsequently unable to fly. He was given to his owners as a gift when their daughter was born. Cocky is now 41 years old, lives with his owners in the Adelaide Hills in a cage which has been his home all his life.

Reality Checking / Cognitive Space

Shock

Denial

Anger / Resentment

Retribution / Withdrawal / Triangulation

Progress of Emotion in Conflict

Past Focus

Future Focus

Incident / Action

Right Brain Thinking

Reactive Emotions

Overwhelming events and emotions

Ability to process emotions, problem solve and function usefully is reduced

What is Cognitive Space?

Cognitive Space

Effective processing of the input to allow a meaningful output

1. Don’t rush the process 2. Compartmentalise 3. Use private sessions as often as

needed 4. Caucus more readily throughout the

session 5. A simple cup of tea / coffee may be

all that is needed 6. Give them homework 7. Map the dispute

How to achieve the cognitive space needed

Mapping My Dispute ©

You are encouraged to use the following grid to gain a clearer understanding of your dispute. List the main issues that are concerning you:

1.

2.

3.

4.

5.

Insert the above issues into the non shaded areas in the grid below according to your priorities. For example, you may feel that a particular issue is of ‘high impact’ but ‘less urgent’ therefore it would be placed in the ‘high importance’ square. Once you have done this take time to think about what you want and what you are prepared to compromise on with the other party

I M P A C T

U

R

G

E

N

C

Y

High Impact

i.e. significant

health,

relationship and

lifestyle change,

too expensive

Medium Impact

i.e. minor

health,

relationship and

lifestyle change,

manageable

expense

Low Impact

i.e.

inconvenient,

acceptable

expense

Zero Impact

Very

Urgent

Very High

Importance

High Importance High Importance Medium

Importance

Somewhat

Urgent

High Importance High Importance Medium

Importance

Medium

Importance

Less

Urgent

High Importance Medium

Importance

Low Importance Low Importance

Not

Urgent

Medium

Importance

Medium

Importance

Low Importance Not Important

Mapping My Dispute ©

Reality Checking / Cognitive Space

Shock

Moving On

Denial

Anger / Resentment

Retribution / Withdrawal / Triangulation

Realisation / Guilt / Responsibility

Acceptance / Acknowledgement / Ownership

Participation /Active role

Progress of Emotion in Conflict

Past Focus

Future Focus

Incident / Action

Right Brain Thinking

Left Brain Thinking

Reactive Emotions

Responsive Emotions

Questions and Comments?

Thank you for your participation

Contact Details

Ms Chris Jefferys CEO - Munkatoo Training and Research

0412 950 270

Training and Development Coordinator

Community Mediation Services SA

cjefferys@scjc.com.au

Mediator for Mediation Australia.

Nationally Accredited Mediator