Leslie Jo Saul on the Black Hole of Negativity

Getting  Sucked  Into  the  Black  Hole  of  Negativity  By  Leslie  Jo  Saul  

November  25,  2013       Wouldn’t  it  be  great  if  the  world  were  filled  with  happy  and  positive  people?  I’d  love  that  too,  but  the  reality  is  that  every  once  in  a  while  (maybe  more  often  for  some)  we  encounter  people  we’d  rather  not  have  met.  

Speaking  with  my  clients,  I’ve  come  to  realize  that  many  of  them  deal  with  difficult  people  at  work  more  than  anywhere  else.  Do  you  have  the  same  problem  too?  

There’s  a  very  powerful  type  I  like  to  call  ‘The  Black  Hole’.  This  type  of  person  constantly  complains  at  work  and  ends  up  dragging  everyone  around  them  into  their  depths  of  despair.  They  suck  all  your  energy,  much  like  a  black  hole.  You  might  actually  be  having  a  good  day,  but  after  speaking  with  said  Black  Hole,  you  feel  as  if  the  world’s  against  you.  

Don’t  despair.  There  is  a  way  to  deal  with  these  sorts  of  people.  First,  recognize  that  this  person  has  the  potential  to  drag  others  down.  Be  aware  of  your  emotions  every    time  you  interact  with  them  and  don’t  allow  their  negative  emotions  to  overpower  you.  

The  natural  thing  to  do  is  to  combat  their  negativity  with  lots  of  optimistic  statements.  Wrong!  That  is  the  last  thing  you  want  to  do.  Listen  to  their  problems  (real  or  perceived)  and  try  to  get  them  to  say  something  realistic  about  solutions  to  a  similar  problem.  

Now  the  important  thing  to  remember  is  that  you    don’t  try  to  offer  any  types  of  solutions  or  alternatives  to  their  situation.    Try  to  have  them  talk  out  their  problem  first.  Don’t  encourage  action  on  their  part,  especially  if  they  are  not  ready.  You  will  know  if  they  just  want  to  complain  or  are  seriously  wanting  a  solution.  

No  matter  what  the  outcome,  always  be  respectful.  I  would  hate  to  know  that  I’m  one  of  those  difficult  people  simply  because  I  took  something  so  personally.  I  don’t  want  to  let  other  people’s  negative  emotions  affect  the  positivity  I  want  to  impart  on  the  world.  I  don’t  want  that  for  you  either.  I  want  you  to  be  able  to  look  at  things  from  the  other  person’s  perspective  and  not  to  take  what  they  say  and  do  to  you  so  personally.  

I  leave  you  with  this  thought:    “Difficult  People  are  your  key  to  self  empowerment,  you  need  to  learn  how  to  cope  with  them,  not  let  them  dominate  and  affect  you.”  -­‐Janice  Davies