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Getting Sucked Into the Black Hole of Negativity By Leslie Jo Saul
November 25, 2013 Wouldn’t it be great if the world were filled with happy and positive people? I’d love that too, but the reality is that every once in a while (maybe more often for some) we encounter people we’d rather not have met.
Speaking with my clients, I’ve come to realize that many of them deal with difficult people at work more than anywhere else. Do you have the same problem too?
There’s a very powerful type I like to call ‘The Black Hole’. This type of person constantly complains at work and ends up dragging everyone around them into their depths of despair. They suck all your energy, much like a black hole. You might actually be having a good day, but after speaking with said Black Hole, you feel as if the world’s against you.
Don’t despair. There is a way to deal with these sorts of people. First, recognize that this person has the potential to drag others down. Be aware of your emotions every time you interact with them and don’t allow their negative emotions to overpower you.
The natural thing to do is to combat their negativity with lots of optimistic statements. Wrong! That is the last thing you want to do. Listen to their problems (real or perceived) and try to get them to say something realistic about solutions to a similar problem.
Now the important thing to remember is that you don’t try to offer any types of solutions or alternatives to their situation. Try to have them talk out their problem first. Don’t encourage action on their part, especially if they are not ready. You will know if they just want to complain or are seriously wanting a solution.
No matter what the outcome, always be respectful. I would hate to know that I’m one of those difficult people simply because I took something so personally. I don’t want to let other people’s negative emotions affect the positivity I want to impart on the world. I don’t want that for you either. I want you to be able to look at things from the other person’s perspective and not to take what they say and do to you so personally.
I leave you with this thought: “Difficult People are your key to self empowerment, you need to learn how to cope with them, not let them dominate and affect you.” -‐Janice Davies