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Discussion article materials for "Top 5 Things Every Extrovert Should Know about Introverts" by Brian Kim.
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Discussion (Dis) Article: MP
Article name: "Top 5 Things Every Extrovert Should Know about Introverts" by Brian Kim
Date: 10/2/2007
http://briankim.net/blog/2007/10/top-5-things-every-extrovert-should-know-about-introverts/
Comprehension
1. What are some of the major differences between extroverts and introverts?
2. Where do extroverts and introverts have the most brain activity?
3. What is a common no-win decision that introverts often have to make?
4. Who are some famous modern-day introverts?
Discussion
1. Do you think you are an extrovert or an introvert? Are most of your friends like you, or
are they more extroverted/introverted than you?
2. Do you have many friends, or a smaller number of close friends? Do you have an easy
or difficult time making new friends? Have you lost touch with many old friends?
3. Do you enjoy meeting new people? What kind of things do you like to talk about with
people you've just met?
4. Is your current job (or were any previous jobs) better suited for an extrovert or an
introvert, or does personality not matter?
5. What is your favorite kind of entertainment? Who are some of your favorite people
who create that entertainment? Are they more likely to be extroverts or introverts?
6. Do you see yourself as a creative person? If so, what do you like to create?
7. Is Japan more of an extroverted or introverted country? Has this affected Japanese
culture? How does this affect how Japanese interact with people from other countries?
Top 5 Things Every Extrovert Should Know about Introverts
By BRIAN KIM 10/2/2007
First off, there are those who are reading this who might not know which camp they fall into,
the extrovert or the introvert. Chances are, the majority of those reading this will know, but
for those who don't, let's define those two terms here very broadly.
Extroverts tend to be those who are more energized when around other people. They are the
ones who will reach for the cell phone when alone for more than a minute, the ones who love
to go out every weekend, the ones who love to chitchat, mingle, and socialize.
Introverts tend to be those who are more energized when alone with themselves. They are the
ones who have to be dragged to parties, who are the first ones ready to leave after a short
period of time, and who generally enjoy solitary activities such as reading, writing, and
daydreaming.
The qualities and characteristics of introverts are often held in a negative light in today's
world, so it's only natural that the majority of people seem to think that there's something
wrong with them. The reason why the majority of people think that there's something wrong
with introverts is because the majority of people aren't very knowledgeable when it comes to
introverts, in terms of why they are the way they are and why they do the things they do.
Many people tend to hold several potentially damaging misconceptions about introverts, but
through no fault of their own.
I've been on both sides of the extrovert/introvert fence, and I can understand why extroverts
tend to view introverts in a negative light, socially speaking, so I thought it would be best to
write an article dedicated to helping extroverts understand their often very misunderstood
introvert counterparts.
My hope is this article will help solve that problem by shedding some light as to why
introverts are the way they are and do the things they do, so here are five things every
extrovert should know about introverts.
1. If a person is introverted, it does NOT mean they are shy or anti-social.
This is probably THE biggest misconception that extroverts tend to have when it comes to
introverts.
And you can't really blame them for having that kind of misconception.
Extroverts tend to have to drag introverts to parties, to convince them to go and sell them on
attending social engagements. When introverts politely decline, extroverts automatically
assume that something might be wrong so they always ask if everything's all right and of
course, everything is all right. It's just a common misunderstanding. When extroverts see a
pattern like this developing, they automatically assume that introverts are shy or anti-social as
that can be the only logical explanation to them. What's more, when extroverts try to engage
introverts in small talk, it seems like they hit a brick wall.
Add to that, most extroverts see that introverts tend to be fond of engaging in solitary
activities such as reading, writing, and daydreaming.
Well, if it walks like a duck, talks like a duck, it must be a duck right?
Wrong.
Introverts have more brain activity in their frontal lobes and when these areas are activated
through solitary activity, introverts become energized through processes such as problem
solving, introspection, and complex thinking.
Extroverts on the other hand tend to have more activity in the back of their brain, areas that
deal with processing sensory information from the external world, so they tend to search for
external stimuli in the form of interacting with other people and the outside world to energize
them.
There's a deeper science to this that involves differences in the levels of brain chemicals such
as acetylcholine and dopamine in extroverts and introverts, but I won't get into that.
The bottom line is that introverts are just wired differently than extroverts. There's nothing
“wrong” with them. They just become energized through different processes depending on
where the majority of their brain activity takes place.
Granted there are introverts who may be shy and anti-social, but that's just a coincidence that
perpetuates the myth that ALL introverts are like that.
You'll find that all introverts are fine just the way they are until people begin to subtly suggest
otherwise.
2. Introverts tend to dislike small talk.
If you really want to engage an introvert in conversation, skip the small talk. Introverts tend
to love deep conversations on subjects that interest them. They love to debate, go past the
superficial and poke around the depths in people's minds to see what's really going on in there.
Most, if not all introverts tend to regard small talk as a waste of time, unless it's with
someone new they just met.
This characteristic probably contributes to another misconception that extroverts have of
introverts - the misconception that all introverts are arrogant.
Why?
Because extroverts notice that introverts don't talk that much with other people. Therefore,
extroverts assume that introverts think they're too good to talk to others, hence arrogant and
that's hardly the case.
It's just a matter of preference.
Extroverts thrive on small talk. Introverts abhor it.
There's nothing wrong with either choice, it's just a matter of preference.
This brings us to the third point.
3. Introverts do like to socialize – only in a different manner and less frequently than
extroverts.
Yes, it's true. Contrary to the majority of public opinion, introverts do like to socialize, but
again, only in a different manner and less frequently than extroverts.
Introverts love anything that involves deep conversation. They get energized by discussing
subjects that are important to them and they love see what and how other people think, to
connect the dots, to dig deep, to find root causes, to use logical thinking via debate in
conversation, etc.
And what's more, introverts can do a lot of things extroverts are naturally good at - give great
speeches, schmooze with everyone, be the life of the party, charm the socks off of total
strangers - but only for a short period of time. After that, they need time for themselves,
which brings us to the fourth point.
4. Introverts need time alone to recharge.
Extroverts tend to think introverts have something against them, as they constantly seem to
refuse generous invites to social engagements. Introverts do appreciate the offers, but it's just
that they know it will take a lot of energy out of them if they pursue these social functions.
They need time alone like they need food and water. Give them their space. There's nothing
wrong with them. They're not depressed and they're not sad. They just need time alone to
recharge their batteries.
5. Introverts are socially well adjusted.
Most introverts are well aware of all the social nuances, customs, and mannerisms when it
comes to interacting with other people, but they simply don't choose to socialize as much as
extroverts, which makes it easy for extroverts to assume that introverts are not socially
well-adjusted, as they have not seen much evidence of them interacting with other people.
This just exacerbates previous misconceptions and gives way to labeling introverts as nerds,
geeks, loners, etc.
It's easy to understand why society tends to value extroverts over introverts. Human beings
have lived in a tribal society so having to interact frequently with people came to be a
regarded as a very good skill when it came to survival.
But because of this high value placed on extroversion, introverts tend to feel trapped and find
themselves in a Catch-22 situation.
Do introverts stay true to who they are and risk social alienation and isolation or do introverts
conform and join the extroverted side, pretending to be somebody they're not just to fit in?
This is precisely why I wrote this article, because if the extroverts can become more educated
about introverts, introverts will be able to feel free to stay true to who they are, and that's a
good thing from society's point of view.
Trying to “turn” an introverted person into an extroverted person is detrimental because it
gives off a subtle suggestion that there is something wrong with them, hampering their
self-worth and esteem when there is absolutely nothing wrong in the first place.
There's nothing wrong with introverts.
In fact, introverts are the leading pioneers of advancements in human civilization. Albert
Einstein, Isaac Newton, Charles Darwin are a few introverts that come to mind, just to name
a few.
And for those of you not interested in science, but pop culture, you'll be surprised to see a lot
of well-known names in Hollywood are introverts as well. Julia Roberts, Steven Spielberg,
Christian Bale to name a few as well.
And for those interested in sports, Michael Jordan and Tiger Woods come to mind as athletes
who are introverts as well.
Introverts have a lot to bring to the table. They have an amazing ability to discover new
thoughts, an uncanny ability to focus, to concentrate, to connect the dots, to observe and note
things that most people miss, to listen extremely well and are often found having a rich and
vivid imagination too.
The more extroverts become knowledgeable about introverts, the less tension and
misunderstanding there will be among the two.
So if you're an introvert reading this, send a copy of this article to all your extrovert friends so
they can get a better idea of what you're all about.
It's time to finally clear the air.
The qualities and characteristics of
introverts are often seen as bad in
today's world…
Held in a negative light
…extroverts try to engage
introverts in small talk, it seems like
they cannot succeed.
Hit a brick wall
…schmooze with everyone, be
the life of the party, be very
charming with total strangers…
Charm the socks off of
…introverts tend to feel trapped
and find themselves in a no-win
situation.
Catch-22
Misconception
Connect the dots
Well-adjusted
Alienation
Detrimental
Clear the air
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