Discussion (Dis) Article: MP

Article name: "Top 5 Things Every Extrovert Should Know about Introverts" by Brian Kim

Date: 10/2/2007

http://briankim.net/blog/2007/10/top-5-things-every-extrovert-should-know-about-introverts/

Comprehension

1. What are some of the major differences between extroverts and introverts?

2. Where do extroverts and introverts have the most brain activity?

3. What is a common no-win decision that introverts often have to make?

4. Who are some famous modern-day introverts?

Discussion

1. Do you think you are an extrovert or an introvert? Are most of your friends like you, or

are they more extroverted/introverted than you?

2. Do you have many friends, or a smaller number of close friends? Do you have an easy

or difficult time making new friends? Have you lost touch with many old friends?

3. Do you enjoy meeting new people? What kind of things do you like to talk about with

people you've just met?

4. Is your current job (or were any previous jobs) better suited for an extrovert or an

introvert, or does personality not matter?

5. What is your favorite kind of entertainment? Who are some of your favorite people

who create that entertainment? Are they more likely to be extroverts or introverts?

6. Do you see yourself as a creative person? If so, what do you like to create?

7. Is Japan more of an extroverted or introverted country? Has this affected Japanese

culture? How does this affect how Japanese interact with people from other countries?

Top 5 Things Every Extrovert Should Know about Introverts

By BRIAN KIM 10/2/2007

First off, there are those who are reading this who might not know which camp they fall into,

the extrovert or the introvert. Chances are, the majority of those reading this will know, but

for those who don't, let's define those two terms here very broadly.

Extroverts tend to be those who are more energized when around other people. They are the

ones who will reach for the cell phone when alone for more than a minute, the ones who love

to go out every weekend, the ones who love to chitchat, mingle, and socialize.

Introverts tend to be those who are more energized when alone with themselves. They are the

ones who have to be dragged to parties, who are the first ones ready to leave after a short

period of time, and who generally enjoy solitary activities such as reading, writing, and

daydreaming.

The qualities and characteristics of introverts are often held in a negative light in today's

world, so it's only natural that the majority of people seem to think that there's something

wrong with them. The reason why the majority of people think that there's something wrong

with introverts is because the majority of people aren't very knowledgeable when it comes to

introverts, in terms of why they are the way they are and why they do the things they do.

Many people tend to hold several potentially damaging misconceptions about introverts, but

through no fault of their own.

I've been on both sides of the extrovert/introvert fence, and I can understand why extroverts

tend to view introverts in a negative light, socially speaking, so I thought it would be best to

write an article dedicated to helping extroverts understand their often very misunderstood

introvert counterparts.

My hope is this article will help solve that problem by shedding some light as to why

introverts are the way they are and do the things they do, so here are five things every

extrovert should know about introverts.

1. If a person is introverted, it does NOT mean they are shy or anti-social.

This is probably THE biggest misconception that extroverts tend to have when it comes to

introverts.

And you can't really blame them for having that kind of misconception.

Extroverts tend to have to drag introverts to parties, to convince them to go and sell them on

attending social engagements. When introverts politely decline, extroverts automatically

assume that something might be wrong so they always ask if everything's all right and of

course, everything is all right. It's just a common misunderstanding. When extroverts see a

pattern like this developing, they automatically assume that introverts are shy or anti-social as

that can be the only logical explanation to them. What's more, when extroverts try to engage

introverts in small talk, it seems like they hit a brick wall.

Add to that, most extroverts see that introverts tend to be fond of engaging in solitary

activities such as reading, writing, and daydreaming.

Well, if it walks like a duck, talks like a duck, it must be a duck right?

Wrong.

Introverts have more brain activity in their frontal lobes and when these areas are activated

through solitary activity, introverts become energized through processes such as problem

solving, introspection, and complex thinking.

Extroverts on the other hand tend to have more activity in the back of their brain, areas that

deal with processing sensory information from the external world, so they tend to search for

external stimuli in the form of interacting with other people and the outside world to energize

them.

There's a deeper science to this that involves differences in the levels of brain chemicals such

as acetylcholine and dopamine in extroverts and introverts, but I won't get into that.

The bottom line is that introverts are just wired differently than extroverts. There's nothing

“wrong” with them. They just become energized through different processes depending on

where the majority of their brain activity takes place.

Granted there are introverts who may be shy and anti-social, but that's just a coincidence that

perpetuates the myth that ALL introverts are like that.

You'll find that all introverts are fine just the way they are until people begin to subtly suggest

otherwise.

2. Introverts tend to dislike small talk.

If you really want to engage an introvert in conversation, skip the small talk. Introverts tend

to love deep conversations on subjects that interest them. They love to debate, go past the

superficial and poke around the depths in people's minds to see what's really going on in there.

Most, if not all introverts tend to regard small talk as a waste of time, unless it's with

someone new they just met.

This characteristic probably contributes to another misconception that extroverts have of

introverts - the misconception that all introverts are arrogant.

Why?

Because extroverts notice that introverts don't talk that much with other people. Therefore,

extroverts assume that introverts think they're too good to talk to others, hence arrogant and

that's hardly the case.

It's just a matter of preference.

Extroverts thrive on small talk. Introverts abhor it.

There's nothing wrong with either choice, it's just a matter of preference.

This brings us to the third point.

3. Introverts do like to socialize – only in a different manner and less frequently than

extroverts.

Yes, it's true. Contrary to the majority of public opinion, introverts do like to socialize, but

again, only in a different manner and less frequently than extroverts.

Introverts love anything that involves deep conversation. They get energized by discussing

subjects that are important to them and they love see what and how other people think, to

connect the dots, to dig deep, to find root causes, to use logical thinking via debate in

conversation, etc.

And what's more, introverts can do a lot of things extroverts are naturally good at - give great

speeches, schmooze with everyone, be the life of the party, charm the socks off of total

strangers - but only for a short period of time. After that, they need time for themselves,

which brings us to the fourth point.

4. Introverts need time alone to recharge.

Extroverts tend to think introverts have something against them, as they constantly seem to

refuse generous invites to social engagements. Introverts do appreciate the offers, but it's just

that they know it will take a lot of energy out of them if they pursue these social functions.

They need time alone like they need food and water. Give them their space. There's nothing

wrong with them. They're not depressed and they're not sad. They just need time alone to

recharge their batteries.

5. Introverts are socially well adjusted.

Most introverts are well aware of all the social nuances, customs, and mannerisms when it

comes to interacting with other people, but they simply don't choose to socialize as much as

extroverts, which makes it easy for extroverts to assume that introverts are not socially

well-adjusted, as they have not seen much evidence of them interacting with other people.

This just exacerbates previous misconceptions and gives way to labeling introverts as nerds,

geeks, loners, etc.

It's easy to understand why society tends to value extroverts over introverts. Human beings

have lived in a tribal society so having to interact frequently with people came to be a

regarded as a very good skill when it came to survival.

But because of this high value placed on extroversion, introverts tend to feel trapped and find

themselves in a Catch-22 situation.

Do introverts stay true to who they are and risk social alienation and isolation or do introverts

conform and join the extroverted side, pretending to be somebody they're not just to fit in?

This is precisely why I wrote this article, because if the extroverts can become more educated

about introverts, introverts will be able to feel free to stay true to who they are, and that's a

good thing from society's point of view.

Trying to “turn” an introverted person into an extroverted person is detrimental because it

gives off a subtle suggestion that there is something wrong with them, hampering their

self-worth and esteem when there is absolutely nothing wrong in the first place.

There's nothing wrong with introverts.

In fact, introverts are the leading pioneers of advancements in human civilization. Albert

Einstein, Isaac Newton, Charles Darwin are a few introverts that come to mind, just to name

a few.

And for those of you not interested in science, but pop culture, you'll be surprised to see a lot

of well-known names in Hollywood are introverts as well. Julia Roberts, Steven Spielberg,

Christian Bale to name a few as well.

And for those interested in sports, Michael Jordan and Tiger Woods come to mind as athletes

who are introverts as well.

Introverts have a lot to bring to the table. They have an amazing ability to discover new

thoughts, an uncanny ability to focus, to concentrate, to connect the dots, to observe and note

things that most people miss, to listen extremely well and are often found having a rich and

vivid imagination too.

The more extroverts become knowledgeable about introverts, the less tension and

misunderstanding there will be among the two.

So if you're an introvert reading this, send a copy of this article to all your extrovert friends so

they can get a better idea of what you're all about.

It's time to finally clear the air.

The qualities and characteristics of

introverts are often seen as bad in

today's world…

Held in a negative light

…extroverts try to engage

introverts in small talk, it seems like

they cannot succeed.

Hit a brick wall

…schmooze with everyone, be

the life of the party, be very

charming with total strangers…

Charm the socks off of

…introverts tend to feel trapped

and find themselves in a no-win

situation.

Catch-22

Misconception

Connect the dots

Well-adjusted

Alienation

Detrimental

Clear the air