Tell me What to Do With These Kids!!!! Betty Newman Director of Student Development Midland ISD

Tell me What to Do With These Kids!!!!

Betty Newman

Director of Student Development

Midland ISD

Let’s look at the three D’s

Disruptive – They exhibit acting out behaviors Defiant – They have difficulty with compliance in

the classroom or playground Difficult – They have poor peer relationships or

have emotional adjustment problems that interfere with their ability to learn and get along with others.

Student’s make judgments about the leader's competence along the most basic dimension of

leadership ability.

Proactive

Reactive

Proactive

You have a plan You have a specific method of

implementing the plan You carry out the plan

Reactive

Leader has a general idea of what they want done

Leader gives a general directive, a variety of outcomes result, and they must then react to events as they unfold

NAG NAG NAG NAG

“But I want the miracle cure that I have seen on T.V. You know that one that takes thirty minutes

or less or just tell me in thirty words or less.”

Personality Types

LION1. Is daring and unafraid in new situations

2. Likes to be a leader. Often tells others how do things

3. Ready to take on any kind of challenge

4. Is firm and serious about what is expected

5. Makes decisions quickly

OTTER

1. Talks a lot and tells wild stories

2. Likes to do all kinds of fun things

3. Enjoys being in groups. Likes to perform

4. Full of energy and always eager to play

5. Always happy and sees the good part of everything

GOLDEN RETRIEVER

1. Always faithful to friends

2. Listens carefully to others

3. Likes to help others. Feels sad when others argue

4. Is a peacemaker and doesn’t like it when others argue

5. Patient and willing to wait for something

BEAVER

1. Is neat and tidy and notices little details

2. Sticks with something until it’s done

3. Asks lots of questions

4. Likes things done the same way

5. Tells things just the way they are

Communicating with Little

Lions

Otters

Golden Retrievers

and

Beavers

(Affirming Their Strengths…Assisting With Weaknesses)

LIONS

“I know you are a great leader… I’m so glad to have you in my room… be careful that you don’t lead in a bossy way”

OTTERS

“I’m soooo glad you have such a great sense of humor and enjoy visiting with your friends and telling funny stories… be sure that you do that only during play time and not during work time.”

GOLDEN RETRIEVERS

“I like how you take care of your friends when they get hurt … but remember you don’t have to miss all of your own play time by staying with them.”

BEAVERS

“I can see how organized you are, and it sure helps to be that way in school. But occasionally I’m afraid that you worry too much over whether your work is neat enough. I know you try very hard and I accept it, even when it’s not perfect. It’s o.k. not to be perfect.”

In times of conflict… “Approach” is EVERYTHING!!!

I was wondering…

I was concerned…

I was kinda puzzled about

I’m confused about

I’ve regretted us having problems regarding…

I need help understanding

I’m worried that …

How can I help …

I feel left out …

I’m overwhelmed right now because …

I know what I need to be doing but …

I was pretty angry when I found out that …

“TOOLS” for Conflict Management1. Ignore2. Share3. Take Turns4. Apologize5. Chance6. Compromise and Negotiate7. Avoid8. Postpone9. Talk it out10. Get Help

Anger Control

Anger: Can be a healthy adaptive mechanism that serves a self-protective function for angry people

Depression is suppressed anger.

Under expression

Attempt to Deny Minimize Rationalize Suppress Under responds to internal signals that

something is wrong.

Misdirected Expression of Anger

Dumping

Target is illegitimate Another person Door (slammed) Pets (kicked) Books (thrown)

Exaggerated Expression

Built-up Anger – Rage Outburst – dumping

“don’t be RUDE with your anger !!!

R – Repeated useless venting (griping)

U – Under expressing (depression)

D – Dumping (blaming)

E – Exaggerated Expression (rage)

HEALTHY Uses of Anger

Play the ACE:

A – Adapt

C – Confront

E – Escape

CRTICISM vs. CORRECTION

Criticism:

A destructive act that invites revenge

Criticism: You spilled the paint again today!! Why don’t you watch what you’re

doing?

Correction

A helpful art that invites cooperation

Correction: Oops! I think it might help if you hold the bucket over here like this.

“There is no such thing as CONSTRUCTIVE CRITICISM!! Founded on the untrue belief that to make young people DO better, we must first

make them FEEL worse, criticism usually causes more problems than the original

misbehavior.”

The Key to a Child’s Behavior is also the Key to a Child’s Heart.

Credits

IQ and EQ Harmony, Ginger Robinson Coping With Conflict, Diane Senn Correcting Without Criticizing, John

Taylor, Ph. D. Positive Classroom Discipline, Fred

Jones