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7/29/2019 "Not So Simple Days"
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Psych
Not So Simple DaysWritten By: Evan Pietronico.
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Shawn and Gus walk into the police station amidst a heavy
debate.
SHAWN
Gus you sound ridiculous.
GUS
How do I sound ridiculous? Just because I think that Hall
would beat Oates in a fight makes me ridiculous?
SHAWN
Absolutely. There is no
Shawn now sees Juliet and Lassiter speaking with Chief
Vick and a man dressed in Amish Clothing in the Chiefs
office.
SHAWN
Gus I think I am having a flashback to that summer I
spent working in that Hebrew deli.
GUS
Shawn dont be an idiot, that man is Amish and he is not
part of a flashback.
Shawn who obviously wasnt listening, was already
moving on his way towards the Chief. Shawn now
interrupting the conversation between Lassiter,
Juliet, the Amish man, and the Chief:
SHAWN
Hello Jules, Chief, and Lassieface. I sensed I was
needed.
CHIEF VICK
Mr. Spencer now isnt the time.
SHAWN
Come on Chief just fill me and Gus on the details, I was
drawn here for a reason - Hopefully not because of a few
missing deli meats.
GUS
Shawn.
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CHIEF VICK
Mr. Spencer this is Abram Shwartz, he is a resident of
the small local Amish community on the outskirts of Santa
Barbara. He
Shawn vision: Shawn notices Abrams hands are shaking
with extremely chewed nail beds. Shawn then proceeds to
finish the Chiefs sentence with his hand to - brow
technique.
SHAWN
is a murder witness.
Roll Credits.
Continuation of Scene One.
ABRAM
Excuse me, who is this? (Directed at Chief, and looking
at Shawn.)
SHAWN
I am the resident Psychic here Abram. I am, where many
might say, the magic happens. And this (Points to Gus)is
my esteemed colleague and partner Burton Guster. We solve
crimes at a stupid good rate.
GUS
Hello Abram (Shakes hands with Abram).So what exactlyhappened?
CHIEF
Abram here is one of the leaders in his Amish community,
and has been witness to a murder during Rumspringa.
SHAWN
Rumspringa? The angry man with plaid skin?
GUS
Shawn thats Rumpelstiltskin. Whats wrong with you?
Shawn gives a look of bewilderment.
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GUS
Rumspringa is a period of time where some teenage members
of the Amish community temporarily leave the community to
experience life in the outside world.
SHAWN
How do you know that?
GUS
Discovery Channel.
SHAWN
Girls Gus, GIRLS.
Lassiter getting impatient.
LASSITER
Abram is here because he witnessed a murder and
identified the murder victim, but could not get a good
look at who the actual killer was.
JULIET
Shawn, Gus, if you would like to accompany us we are
going to be taking a look at the crime scene photos.
Shawn, Gus, Juliet, Lassiter, Chief Vick, and Abram make
their way towards the crime scene photos.
SHAWN VISION: Shawn notices that on the body of thevictim, there are odd scorch marks on the left pant leg,
as well as thin chain-like marks around the neck.
ABRAM
I was cleaning up one of the barns that hosted a party a
few hours before, and then I heard two voices that
sounded very angry. They were arguing about what they
were going to do with him. I then saw them drag in a
semi-conscious teenager. I recognized the teen as
Zachariah Miller. Zachariah said to the men, I wasnt
the only one who saw it, good luck finding the rest ofthem. After that one of the men brought out a thin chain
and put it around Zachariahs neck I wanted to help but
they had a gun And -
Abram begins to get a little choked up.
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GUS
Its alright Abram, we know the rest. There was nothing
you could do.
Abram gives a little nod of appreciation.
SHAWN
Dont worry, I have a plan.
Everyone focuses on Shawn, who then turns to Abram.
SHAWN
But first, I am going to need one of those fur hats for
me and a bonnet for my partner here.
Gus gives this look of complete confusion.
End Scene
New Scene takes place at an open farm area inside the
Amish community, with a few carriages moving in the
background. Now we see Shawn and Gus dressed head to toe
in complete Amish attire, Shawn with a fake long Amish
beard.
GUS
Shawn is this really necessary?
SHAWN
Of course it is necessary Gus. If we are going to be
undercover, we have to blend in.
GUS
I would love to hear your reason for wearing that bush on
your face.
SHAWN
It makes me feel like a simpleton.
GUS
It makes you look stupid.
SHAWN
What are you trying to say Gus?
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GUS
That beards like that look stupid!
As Gus says this, a bunch of men with beards eerily
similar to Shawns fake one overhear Guss comments, and
walk away in a huff.
SHAWN
Good job Gus, you offended the locals.
In come Lassiter and Juliet.
LASSITER
You both look like idiots.
JULIET
Heres the deal guys, you are going to stay for the rest
of the week. Rumspringa started for this community about
two days ago, and within those beginning two days there
has already been a murder. Dont mess around and most of
all, be careful.
Shawn and Gus look at each other in a way that says,
Psh, like we are in any real danger.
End Scene.
New Scene.
Shawn and Gus enter a field where there are two people, a
man and a woman, churning butter.
SHAWN
Gus look! They are churning butter Maybe I can
finally cross that off my bucket list
Shawn makes his way towards the butter.
GUS
Shawn you heard Juliet, we cant be messing around. We
have to start investigating this murder.
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SHAWN
Gus dont be the last sheet of toilet paper.
(To the woman)
Excuse me miss, may I beat the butter?
The lady steps aside signaling that it is okay.
SHAWN
Thank you.
Shawn makes his grunting noise while doing his best to
churn the butter. He is visibly and comically struggling.
Gus begins to lay his head back and laugh maniacally, yet
comically.
SHAWN
I would love to see you do better.
GUS
Move over. Just call me forearms.
Gus makes his way towards the butter.
SHAWN
I will never call you that.
Gus tries to churn the butter and makes his usual
exasperated grunting noise.
SHAWN
Alright Gus stop it you look foolish.
Shawn walks over and tries to takeover, but Gus refuses.
They both end up in a humorous tug of war with the wooden
handle. In comes Abram, who is completely confused with
what the duo is doing.
ABRAM
What are you two doing?
The two instantly stop tugging, but are still holding the
stick. They finally let go of the stick and adjust
themselves.
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GUS
Abram why dont you show us where the murder happened?
Abram seems a little shaken by the idea of it, but
realizes he has too.
ABRAM
Very well. This Way.
Shawn, Gus and Abram begin to walk.
End Scene.
New Scene
Shawn, Gus, and Abram enter the barn, aka the scene of
the crime. SHAWN VISION: Shawn notices a branding iron on
the ground.
SHAWN
Hey Abram, would this mean anything to Zachariah?
ABRAM
Yes actually, it would. Zachariahs job was to work with
the cows. He branded them as well.
SHAWN
I say we pay a visit to those cows.
Shawn says this twirling his beard and Gus smacks his
hand down.
End Scene
New Scene
They approach the pasture of cows where currently there
is a boy in his late teens working on the fields and
tending to the cows.
SHAWN
Hey you! Weve got some questions for ya.
GUS
Hello!
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The teenager is startled by them, and proceeds to bolt
away from the pasture.
SHAWN
What the Why do they ALWAYS run Gus?
GUS
FearGuiltThat beard (laughs)
SHAWN
(Stares at Gus) Man
Shawn then proceeds to chase after the teen, Gus follows
behind. As Shawn approaches closer and closer, the boy
trips and falls.
SHAWN
Gotcha ya little Mongoose!
(Gus appears)
GUS
Who are you and why did you run?
JEBEDIAH
The names Jebediah Whitaker. I ran because I thought you
were the man who took Zachariah.
SHAWN VISION: Shawn notices defensive wounds on Jebediah.As well as a few scratches on his face.
JEBEDIAH
Who are you two guys? Im assumingyou arent from the
community because I dont recognize you and your (points
to Shawn) beard is clearly not real.
GUS
(Laughs) Told you it was stupid Shawn.
SHAWN(Looks at Gus) Why do this Gus? I can NOT do this with
you now. Anyway, Im Shawn and I am a Psychic detective.
This is my partner Magellan All-Over-Ya.
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JEBEDIAH
By any chance Magellan, did you play Bud on the Cosby
Show?
SHAWN
HA! They get to watch fifteen minutes of TV a year and
even the Amish know you as Bud.
GUS
Shawn how do you know it is only fifteen minutes?
SHAWN
Because everyone knows Gus that the hamsters that power
their televisions cant run on that wheel for more than
fifteen minutes before their little hearts explode!
(Gus shakes his head)
But that is neither here nor there. I am getting a vision
Jeb.
You were there werent you? When they took him?
Jebediah looks down.
SHAWN
You got away by weaving through the woods. What did you
two see?
JEBEDIAH
I assume we saw something we shouldnt have. I took
Zachariah to this abandoned shack in the woods that Ifound a few days prior. There was nothing of value in
there, just a few shelves with meaningless objects and
some old dirty furniture. But this time when we arrived,
there were two men waiting for us. They grabbed me and
Zachariah. Zachariah managed to get the one guy off of
me, and he told me to run and get help. So I did. But
when I came back, there was nobody there. No Zachariah. I
told one of the community leaders Francis. Then a few
hours later his body showed up in that barn
Jebediah is clearly frustrated with himself at thispoint, and shows grief.
GUS
Why didnt you tell the police this story?
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JEBEDIAH
I was scared I thought maybe the men would find out if I
told people about the shack, and try and come after me.
SHAWN
Can you take us to this shack now?
GUS
Are you outta your damn mind Shawn.
JEBEDIAH
Yeah I dont want to ever go back there. You must be
crazy to even think about going there.
SHAWN
Come on Jeb, do it for Zachariah. Let US help YOU.
(Jebediah shakes his head no.)
Gus will cry if you dont.
(Aside to Gus)
Gus start crying.
GUS
I will hit you so hard your beard will fall off.
Shawn and Gus get into a really fast argument, as
ventured frequently between the two.
Gus finally gives in and begins to fake cry in a
humorous, obviously fake way.
JEBEDIAH
Fine I will take you there. But we are NOT staying.
Jebediah leaves and begins to walk towards the woods.
SHAWN
Would ya pull yourself together? (Walks away)
Gus gives Shawn an angry look.
End Scene.
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New Scene.
Shawn, Gus, and Jebediah have been walking in the woods
for about ten minutes.
SHAWN
Ya know Gus, all of this time we spent living amongst the
Amish, I am beginning to feel a tad rejuvenated
GUS
Weve been here for two and a half hours
SHAWN
Gus please, dont be Tom Shells character from The Zero
Boys.
They stop and look at each other.
GUS
I honestly cannot respond to that.
JEBEDIAH
Here it is.
They approach an old shack that from the outside looks
like it hasnt been occupied for a few years. They walk
inside.
SHAWNThis shack reeks of suspicion. And Asbestos.
GUS
Shawn you cant smell Asbestos.
SHAWN
Maybe you cant.
GUS
Shawn nobody can, it is an odorless
JEBEDIAH
Umm guys. Can we hurry this up, I really do not want to
be here anymore.
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SHAWN
Right.
Shawn and Gus begin to inspect the room inside. SHAWN
VISION: Shawn notices that there is a door left slightly
ajar, it leads to a closet.
SHAWN
Gus come look at this.
Shawn walks over to the closet, and slips inside. Gus
follows, who is then followed by Jebediah. Shawn looks
around the closet. SHAWN VISION: Shawn notices that there
is a color distortion with one part of the wall relative
to the rest of the wall.
SHAWN
(Under his breath) Thats strange Gus look at this! This
part of the wall is a lighter shade of brown than the
rest
Gus investigates further and pulls on an old broom stick
in the corner. It turns out the broom stick is a lever.
The lighter patch of wall slides over, and on the other
side of the wall is a ladder that leads down somewhere
dark
End Scene
New Scene
Lassiter and Juliet are in the police station. Juliet
approaches Lassiter (who is sitting at his desk) with a
concern.
JULIET
Ya know, I always get a little more anxiety when Shawn
goes undercover.
LASSITERI get anxiety whenever he passes through those front
doors.
JULIET
No seriously Carlton, I always feel like Shawn seeks out
the danger.
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End Scene
New Scene
Shawn, Gus, and Jebediah are standing over the ladder
that leads down into the dark area.
SHAWN
Gus, as your best friend, I want you to know that if you
go down there and something bad happens, I probably will
not come down after you.
GUS
You must be out of your damn mind if you think I am going
down there first.
SHAWN
Alright. We will decide in the fairest of ways. Odds and
Evens go! (Shawn puts out his pointer finger on his left
hand, and his pointer and middle finger on his right
hand)
Gus slaps his hands down, who then receives a look from
Shawn.
JEBEDIAH
I will go first. (Proceeds down ladder)
Shawn follows Jebediah, who is then followed by the everso reluctant Gus.
Scene cuts back to Juliet who is with Lassiter.
JULIET
I think I should call him to make sure everything is
okay.
Juliet dials Shawn as Shawn is going down the ladder.
SHAWNHold on I gotta call from Jules. Hello?
GUS
Shawn are you kidding me?! Go down the ladder first
before you answer your phone!
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SHAWN
Gus. Dont be rude. You clearly see I am on the phone.
GUS
I will kick you Shawn.
SHAWN
Easy there Pele. Sorry Jules, whats up?
Cut to Juliet.
JULIET
Shawn is everything alright over there? What have you and
Gus been up to?
SHAWN
Well currently Gus and I are climbing down a suspicious
tunnel on a ladder with one of the farm boys Jebediah,
who actually WITNESSED the killers take Zachariah.
JULIET
Wait What?!
SHAWN
Yes I know it all sounds very clich, with the ladder and
the dark tunnel and all. (Call drops) Hello? Jules? Ahh
the signal has been lost.
Scene cuts back to a completely confused Juliet.
JULIET
Shawn! Crap the call was lost.
LASSITER
So what are those goons doing?
JULIET
(Pauses) They are currently investigating, I quote, a
suspicious tunnel on a ladder with one of the farm boys
Jebediah, who actually WITNESSED the killers takeZachariah..
LASSITER
Honestly, I have heard stranger things from those two.
Wait did you just say they took a witness with them?
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Chief Vick approaches them with an inquiring tone.
CHIEF VICK
Did I just hear that Shawn and Gus brought a witness with
them to investigate a suspicious and possibly DANGEROUS
tunnel?
LASSITER
Yes that is exactly what you heard.
JULIET
(In a tone that clearly shows her disappoint in
Lassiters lack of covering for Shawn and Gus)
Carlton really
LASSITER
What!
All three of them look at each other, and almost at the
same time head to the door to leave to go meet Shawn and
Gus.
Cut back to Shawn and Gus, who are walking with Jebediah
down the tunnel which is lit by a few dimly lit light
bulbs.
GUS
(To Shawn) You know how I dont like dark tunnels.
SHAWN
Man up would you? See there is a door up ahead and I
guarantee there is light behind it.
Shawn, Gus, and Jebediah walk up to the door. Jebediah
opens the door and they walk inside. SHAWN VISION: Shawn
notices that there are large amounts of chemicals on a
shelf in the corner.
GUS
What is all this? This technology definitely does NOT
belong to the people of this community.
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JEBEDIAH
What is all of this? Why is this here?
In through the door come two masked men with guns.
MASKED MAN #1
Who are you and how did you get down here.
SHAWN
(Whispers to Gus and Jebediah) Dont worry I got this.
(To the masked men) My name is Shawn Spencer. This is my
partner Chad Michael Murray (Gus: Aw hell no) I am a
Psychic detective and I know EXACTLY what is going on
here.
MASKED MAN #2
Okay Mr. Psychic. Tell me what you know.
SHAWN VISION: Shawn puts it all together. The technology
The chemicals He finally realizes based off the
surroundings and blueprints on the table they are
building a nuclear bomb.
SHAWN
You are building a nuclear bomb arent you?
Gus and Jebediah are completely dumbfounded.
MASKED MAN #1Very good Too bad you and your friends have to die.
MASKED MAN# 2
I recognize this one (Referring to Jebediah) We caught
him snooping around our cabin. He got away. We took care
of his friend though.
(Jebediah looks angry)
MASKED MAN #1
Come with us.
End Scene
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New Scene
Shawn, Gus, and Jebediah find themselves in a barn
similar to the one that Zachariahs body was found in.
They are all clamped up in three separate stocks.
SHAWN
Wow this is weirdly ironic dont ya think Gus? SHAWN
VISION: Shawn notices the man has extremely chewed finger
nails
GUS
Shut up Shawn these men are going to kill us.
SHAWN
Dont worry, I have a plan. (To Masked Man #1) I know why
you are doing this.
Masked Man #1 focuses his attention on Shawn.
SHAWN
Abram.
GUS
What the?!
Abram removes his mask.
ABRAMHow did you figure it out?
SHAWN
I am Psychic remember. And I am getting a vision right
now. You are a phony. You used the Amish cover because
you knew that since there is no technology out here, the
radiation levels wouldnt be picked up. You also used the
whole witness nonsense to throw the cops off your
trail.
MASKED MAN #2Enough of this! Abram are you going to get rid of them?
Or shall I do it like I did the other one (Grabs Rope)
SHAWN
What is it with you guys and ropes?
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The men begin to walk towards Shawn, Gus, and Jebediah.
Shawn and Gus begin to do their screams as the door busts
open. In walks Lassiter and Juliet with their guns out,
followed by the Chief.
LASSITER
Freeze!
The men drop their guns and Juliet and Lassiter cuff
them.
GUS
Oh Thank God.
CHIEF VICK
Abram?! What the hell is going on here?
Shawn, Gus, and Jebediah are let out of the harnesses.
SHAWN
Abram is the bad guy Chief. Send some guys out in the
woods. Tell them to look for a shack that is creepy in a
large outhouse sort of way. If they proceed inside they
will find an open room that leads to a tunnel. That
tunnel will take them to a room where there is currently
a Nuclear Bomb being made.
LASSITERHoly Crap Nuclear Weapons?
JULIET
You really out did yourself this time Shawn.
SHAWN
Thanks Jules. Gus might have peed himself in the tunnel
before so he probably needs a new pair of pants.
They all roll their eyes at Shawn, especially Gus as they
all walk out.
End Episode.
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