"For all the advances in medicine, there is still no cure for the common birthday." -...

"For all the advances in medicine, there is still

no cure for the common birthday."

- Senator John Glenn

Teacher: What is 2k + k?

Student: 3000!

Three statisticians go hunting. When they see a rabbit, the first

one shoots, missing it on the left. The second one shoots and

misses it on the right. The third one shouts: "We've hit

it!"

Math problems? Call 1-800-[(10x)(13i)2]-

[sin(xy)/2.362x].

Q: How can you tell that a mathematician is

extroverted? A: When talking to you, he looks at your shoes

instead of at his.

Q: Do you already know the latest stats

joke? A: Probably...

If I have seen farther than others, it is

because I was standing on the shoulders of

giants. -- Isaac Newton

If I have not seen as far as others, it is because giants were standing on

my shoulders. -- Hal Abelson

There are three kinds of people in the world; those who can count

and those who can't. 

Q: How do you tell that you are in the hands of

the Mathematical Mafia?

A: They make you an offer that you can't

understand.

Q: how many times can you subtract 7 from 83,

and what is left afterwards?

A: I can subtract it as many times as I want, and it leaves 76 every

time.

Limp Bizkit says &*#% on its latest single 42 times. If MTV plays

the song 18 times a day, how many 13-year-old boys will buy they album in a 6-week period?

Real World Problems

Suzie went to A & F and bought 3 pairs of Jeans at $107 each. Then she bought 4 pairs of Guess jeans

at $78 each. Calculate the percentage change in her

personal popularity from May to June.

Real World Problems

For 4 weeks Johnny’s science class has been devoted to practice drills for the state reading exam. If he

takes 2 end-of –grade tests over 3 days, how many Disney movies

will he see in class during the last 2 weeks of school?

Real World Problems

Yes, we have Chicken Soup for the Math

Teacher’s Soul. The price is $475 ÷ 23

x .0182 + 4x ÷ $73.999999999 +2.

Q. Why did 5 eat 6?

A. Because 7 8 9.

"Math class is tough." -- Barbie Doll (1992)

"Geometry is just plane fun."

"Decimals have a point."

"Arithmetic is being able to count up to

twenty without taking off your shoes." -- Mickey Mouse

"To infinity and beyond."

– Buzz Lightyear

"Think! Think and wonder. Wonder and

think. How much water can 55 elephants

drink?" -- Dr. Seuss

"42.7% of all statistics are made up on the spot." --Steven Wright

"We use only 10% of our brains… Imagine how

smart we would be if we used the other 60%!"

-- Ellen DeGeneres

"Math was always my bad subject. I couldn't

convince my teachers that many of my answers were

meant ironically." – Calvin Trillin (humorist)

“This one's tricky. You have to use imaginary numbers,

like eleventeen...“

- Hobbes

“I don't need to study! I don't need to learn!

I can always get by on my good looks and charm!”

-- Calvin

I'd explain it… but there's a lot of math.

You can present the material, but you can't

make me care.

How far do you run if you hit a homerun?

How far do you run if you hit a homerun?

360 feet

Q: What number, a one followed by 100 zeros, was first used by nine-year-old

Milton Sirotta in 1940?

Q: What number, a one followed by 100 zeros, was first used by nine-year-old

Milton Sirotta in 1940?A: Googol

What's a polygon with four unequal

sides called?

What's a polygon with four unequal

sides called?

A quadrilateral.

Q: What did one math book say to the other

math book?

A: Wow, have I got problems!

Our eyes are always the same size from birth, but our nose and ears never

stop growing.

When a coffee seed is planted, it takes five years to yield consumable fruit.

October 10 is National Metric

Day.

Assuming Rudolph was in front, there are 40,320

ways to arrange the other eight reindeer.

National Pi Day is March 14, at

1:59. (3/14 1:59)

There are 2,598,960 five-card hands possible in a 52-

card deck of cards.

An inch of snow falling evenly on

one acre of ground is equivalent to

about 2,715 gallons of water.

If each count were one second long, it would

take about twelve days to count to a million

and thirty-two years to count to a billion.

A manned rocket reaches the moon in

less time than it took a stagecoach to travel the

length of England.

There are ten human body parts that are only three

letters long:

There are ten human body parts that are only three

letters long:

Eye, Ear, Leg, Arm, Jaw, Gum, Toe, Lip, Hip and Rib.

A normal rain drop falls at

about 7 miles per hour.

Human hair is estimated to grow

at 0.00000001 miles per hour.

The night sky appears full of stars, but actually only about 3,000 stars are visible to the naked

eye.

A 'jiffy' is an actual unit of time for

1/100th of a second.