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"For all the advances in medicine, there is still
no cure for the common birthday."
- Senator John Glenn
Teacher: What is 2k + k?
Student: 3000!
Three statisticians go hunting. When they see a rabbit, the first
one shoots, missing it on the left. The second one shoots and
misses it on the right. The third one shouts: "We've hit
it!"
Math problems? Call 1-800-[(10x)(13i)2]-
[sin(xy)/2.362x].
Q: How can you tell that a mathematician is
extroverted? A: When talking to you, he looks at your shoes
instead of at his.
Q: Do you already know the latest stats
joke? A: Probably...
If I have seen farther than others, it is
because I was standing on the shoulders of
giants. -- Isaac Newton
If I have not seen as far as others, it is because giants were standing on
my shoulders. -- Hal Abelson
There are three kinds of people in the world; those who can count
and those who can't.
Q: How do you tell that you are in the hands of
the Mathematical Mafia?
A: They make you an offer that you can't
understand.
Q: how many times can you subtract 7 from 83,
and what is left afterwards?
A: I can subtract it as many times as I want, and it leaves 76 every
time.
Limp Bizkit says &*#% on its latest single 42 times. If MTV plays
the song 18 times a day, how many 13-year-old boys will buy they album in a 6-week period?
Real World Problems
Suzie went to A & F and bought 3 pairs of Jeans at $107 each. Then she bought 4 pairs of Guess jeans
at $78 each. Calculate the percentage change in her
personal popularity from May to June.
Real World Problems
For 4 weeks Johnny’s science class has been devoted to practice drills for the state reading exam. If he
takes 2 end-of –grade tests over 3 days, how many Disney movies
will he see in class during the last 2 weeks of school?
Real World Problems
Yes, we have Chicken Soup for the Math
Teacher’s Soul. The price is $475 ÷ 23
x .0182 + 4x ÷ $73.999999999 +2.
Q. Why did 5 eat 6?
A. Because 7 8 9.
"Math class is tough." -- Barbie Doll (1992)
"Geometry is just plane fun."
"Decimals have a point."
"Arithmetic is being able to count up to
twenty without taking off your shoes." -- Mickey Mouse
"To infinity and beyond."
– Buzz Lightyear
"Think! Think and wonder. Wonder and
think. How much water can 55 elephants
drink?" -- Dr. Seuss
"42.7% of all statistics are made up on the spot." --Steven Wright
"We use only 10% of our brains… Imagine how
smart we would be if we used the other 60%!"
-- Ellen DeGeneres
"Math was always my bad subject. I couldn't
convince my teachers that many of my answers were
meant ironically." – Calvin Trillin (humorist)
“This one's tricky. You have to use imaginary numbers,
like eleventeen...“
- Hobbes
“I don't need to study! I don't need to learn!
I can always get by on my good looks and charm!”
-- Calvin
I'd explain it… but there's a lot of math.
You can present the material, but you can't
make me care.
How far do you run if you hit a homerun?
How far do you run if you hit a homerun?
360 feet
Q: What number, a one followed by 100 zeros, was first used by nine-year-old
Milton Sirotta in 1940?
Q: What number, a one followed by 100 zeros, was first used by nine-year-old
Milton Sirotta in 1940?A: Googol
What's a polygon with four unequal
sides called?
What's a polygon with four unequal
sides called?
A quadrilateral.
Q: What did one math book say to the other
math book?
A: Wow, have I got problems!
Our eyes are always the same size from birth, but our nose and ears never
stop growing.
When a coffee seed is planted, it takes five years to yield consumable fruit.
October 10 is National Metric
Day.
Assuming Rudolph was in front, there are 40,320
ways to arrange the other eight reindeer.
National Pi Day is March 14, at
1:59. (3/14 1:59)
There are 2,598,960 five-card hands possible in a 52-
card deck of cards.
An inch of snow falling evenly on
one acre of ground is equivalent to
about 2,715 gallons of water.
If each count were one second long, it would
take about twelve days to count to a million
and thirty-two years to count to a billion.
A manned rocket reaches the moon in
less time than it took a stagecoach to travel the
length of England.
There are ten human body parts that are only three
letters long:
There are ten human body parts that are only three
letters long:
Eye, Ear, Leg, Arm, Jaw, Gum, Toe, Lip, Hip and Rib.
A normal rain drop falls at
about 7 miles per hour.
Human hair is estimated to grow
at 0.00000001 miles per hour.
The night sky appears full of stars, but actually only about 3,000 stars are visible to the naked
eye.
A 'jiffy' is an actual unit of time for
1/100th of a second.
